Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Another missed opportunity for Jamie Dimon to just shut the fuck up.

Motown is Joe-Town!

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

“And when the Committee says to “report your income,” that could mean anything!

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

If West Virginia and San Francisco had a love child.

T R E 4 5 O N

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Let there be snark.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

The willow is too close to the house.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickel?”

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / WHO WANTS A LITTLE SNEAK PEEK OF THE NEW WEBSITE

WHO WANTS A LITTLE SNEAK PEEK OF THE NEW WEBSITE

by | 48 Comments

This post is in: 

YOU DO! I just know it.

I still don’t know when we are going to start testing, but I am getting antsy, so here are some screen shots.

GIANT CAVEAT: ALL OF THIS IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT EVEN ENTERED THE TESTING PHASE SO IF YOU START WHINGING ABOUT SHIT I WILL JUST DELETE THIS GOD DAMNED POST.

The new header:

And because you people bitched up a storm and pitched such a god damned fit that frankly I just got sick and tired of listening to you complain, a feature I have NEVER used in 20 years of this shitty website is returning (You can thank Watergirl and the coders for that I’d have blasted your whiny requests into the sun with Trump and his kids), recent comments:

If you look carefully to the right of the above image, you can see the little wing thing you click to go to the next post (AGAIN SOMETHING I NEVER USE BUT JESUS YOU PEOPLE ARE HIGH MAINTENANCE).

Up next, a featuring section with all our experts (Dave on Insurance, Cheryl and Adam, etc.) which inexplicably includes me because I am not an expert on jack or shit, but I was informed I have to be there since I created this mess.

Finally, the comments editing has been dolled up a bit:

Again, just a taste, and as always, I expect even some of this will change because as I learned in the military, you can have a plan for everything and then shots are fired and everything goes to shit, so I imagine things will be maybe a little different. I hope you like it.

If you don’t, I don’t want to hear about it.

Also I knowingly stepped on Tamara but I don’t care because her post had no pictures of PEARL (not patty or pepperpot or penelope or whatever it she thinks she can call my duck).

Reader Interactions

48Comments

  2. 2.

    dmsilev

    AGAIN SOMETHING I NEVER USE BUT JESUS YOU PEOPLE ARE HIGH MAINTENANCE

    The actual testing phase is going to go so smoothly, I just know it.

  5. 5.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Myyyyyyy blog gets five rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it

    change it all back

  6. 6.

    MobiusKlein

    The FACT that this post does not call for the IMMEDIATE impeachment of Flump means you are a DINO weak no-spine neo-liberal shill.
    Oh, and does the new site remember my name/email longer than 12 minutes?

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    One serious (albeit minor) suggestion: In the Recent Comments box, consider either having a different font for commenter and date or some sort of separator (a colon or something) between them. As is, it looks like there are comments by “Spanky June”, “Ruckus June” etc.

  9. 9.

    Another Scott

    “Balloon Juice” needs to be moved down 12.375 pixels. And we need a “blink” tag in the editor.

    That is all.

    (Looking forward to it!)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  13. 13.

    khead

    Since Cole went all Bigfoot on Tamara I will repeat my bleg from the previous thread:

    Hey everyone. Been away for a bit. Took an Internet break, etc. My brother found a kitten while walking his dogs tonight. He took it in, fed it, and now has it in his bathroom. But they are not cat people. If there is anyone who wants a kitteh in the Charlotte NC area, please speak up. Totally black kitteh. I have pics if you may be interested.

  14. 14.

    FlyingToaster

    Looks gorgeous!

    I use the “next post” “previous post” arrows all the damn time, because I have a needy husband and a needy daughter and am not allowed to read posts all the way through before one of them demands that I do something. And if they’re not here they’re texting me to do something. Right now one is definitely asleep and the other probably is, and i got the dishes running so now I can left-arrow and read Tamara’s post.

  19. 19.

    MisterForkbeard

    I’d like to complain about it for awhile just to annoy Vole, but I don’t have the energy. So I’ll just go with:

    Looks nice. And who the hell uses the “next article” widget, anyway? Anyone other than crazy people?

  21. 21.

    Duane

    It took me two years to figure out how to post a comment here. Now you’re changing it.
    Oh I think that’s wonderful.

  22. 22.

    The Dangerman

    …Little Sneak Peak…

    You tease.

    …into the sun with Trump and his kids…

    YOU TEASE.

    Kinda has that new car blog smell. Looks classy.

  25. 25.

    Another Scott

    @MobiusKlein: Trollin’ trollin’ trollin’
    Johnny keeps on trollin’
    Trollin’ trollin’ trollin’
    Web sight!

    Hehe.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  27. 27.

    cmorenc

    @John Cole:

    Up next, a featuring section with all our experts (Dave on Insurance, Cheryl and Adam, etc.) which inexplicably includes me because I am not an expert on jack or shit

    Oh, but you are quite expert at jack shit, which is exactly the expertise we need most in our jack-shitty lives. You speak like a grumpy curmudgeon, but the love and concern you have for the people around you, your pets, and for making your immediate world around you more pleasant and colorful come through clearly, and are a substantial part of why we hang out at this blog.

  29. 29.

    NotMax

    @MisterForkbeard

    Under the current persnickety set-up there are often times when the Next Post thingie shows up but the actual post itself doesn’t appear on the front page until an hour or more later. And, though more rarely, vice-versa.

  34. 34.

    Anne Laurie

    @khead: Just sent an email to the one you used, but: Send me the pics & details to annelaurie (dot) bj (at) gmail, and I’ll put up a post.

  35. 35.

    something fabulous

    @WaterGirl: Hey! I just emailed you! Wanted to let you know I didn’t fall into a hole or something and do in fact still exist! Now, back to read the thread…

  38. 38.

    J R in WV

    Thanks for the sneak preview Cole. I think it will be a great little community BBS kind of place. Just what we need in times of troubles.

    I love all of you guys, even Omnes. You folks are a big piece of my social life, I suppose I would have to go out into real life without this society of crusty sailors, farmers, carpenters and lawyers. That’s pretty much who i hang out with in real life, a wide variety of folks with very different interests, careers, hobbies and opinions.

    So thanks for hanging out, putting up with me when I’m having a bad time. all of that. Take care, I’m still trying to go to sleep, so will disappear suddenly if the notion takes me, finally.

  39. 39.

    Ruckus

    As long as it’s usable, and remembers my name and email, I’m good to go and will get used to it in a day. Or 87. Whatever.
    Whatever it looks like the front pagers and commenters are the attraction, everything else is window dressing. Or a disaster, it’s always one or the other.

  41. 41.

    (((CassandraLeo)))

    Preview looks good to me so far. In any case, if I don’t have to re-type my name, email address, and website address every three times I comment, I’ll probably consider that a distinct improvement, unless it sends all my data to Mark Zuckerberg or something. (I know Cole wouldn’t do that. We’re good.)

    Ceterum censeo factionem Republicanam esse delendam.

  42. 42.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Please, please, please, please do not use low contrast light grey fonts. If I say pretty please with sugar, cream, and Georgia peaces sliced in the cream, will you not use the trendy low contrast, light gray fonts that Google has been pushing for a couple of years? I would like to, you know, be able to see the words on the page. Just sayin.’ I have volunteered to test, and will comment then officially, but wanted to get this out there NOW. Make the fonts for text darker requires changing just a few lines in the style sheets controlling the sites appearance, so please, Watergirl, make it so. If you want to see others commenting on this, just go to your friend google, and search on “low contrast fonts by google unreadable.” Start with the Wired article, and go from there.

    Did I mention, please, please, please????

  43. 43.

    WaterGirl

    @HeartlandLiberal: Please know that we are paying attention to that. Just yesterday afternoon I asked for them to darken up the text in the blockquote box!

    The developers know that readability and accessibility are priorities for us. They know this because I have talked with them about it no less than 5 times. (For real, that is not an exaggeration.) They have assured me that it’s a one minute thing to make a change like that, if needed.

  45. 45.

    WaterGirl

    @germy: Fancy pants! :-) Not everyone knows how to do that with HTML code like you do, so it will be a “button” item on the new site.

  47. 47.

    kindness

    A Feedback button. Oh John you incorrigible imp you. I see lots of auto ignore in that thing’s future.

  48. 48.

    jimmiraybob

    How is the feature coming along that presents what the brain is thinking versus what the fingers hack out? Asking for a friend. No pressures.

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