Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let’s finish the job.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Please don’t feed the bears.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

“Joe Biden deserved better than he got from some folks in his own party.”

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

You are here: Home / Humorous / Not Safe For Work Delivery: Floriduh! Man Edition

Not Safe For Work Delivery: Floriduh! Man Edition

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What did BettyC know and when did she know it?

The Pensacola News Journal has all the details:

Escambia County Commissioner Doug Underhill is fuming after a box labeled “industrial strength dildos” arrived in the mail at his county office Thursday.

Underhill showed the box to reporters following the County Commission meeting on Thursday, saying it demonstrated how far the level of civility has fallen in Escambia County.

“There’s no way this is even remotely appropriate in the way that we conduct business here in Escambia County,” Underhill said while pointing to the box. “We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here. I’m a sailor, you’re not going to offend me with anything, but this kind of garbage, and this is the kind of garbage put out by the same kinds of people, the same lies, the same hate, the same anger that they bring to every single issue.”

The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

The email address belongs to a Perdido Key resident named Scott Anderson, who told the News Journal he had no idea about the box being sent to Underhill or how his email address ended up on the packing slip.

“I’m totally stunned by all of this,” Anderson said.

Anderson said he’s only interacted with Underhill a few times on the Nextdoor website over what he said was a lack of maintenance at the Perdido Key Dog Park.

“I suppose I could’ve irritated maybe an Underhill supporter,” Anderson said. “That’s the only thing I can think of.”

Despite the box appearing to be a joke, it was no laughing matter for Underhill.

Underhill regularly comments in local Facebook groups and often takes a combative tone with people with whom he disagrees.

Underhill said laughing at the antics of his dedicated critics only makes it worse because the time and energy spent on dealing with his critics is time not spent tackling issues that matter such as funding for public safety.

Underhill pointed to the meeting on Thursday as an example. On Thursday, members of Save Pensacola Beach protesting the county’s move to remove language approved by voters last year in a non-binding referendum.

During the discussion, Underhill said he compared the group and its founder Dianne Krummel to antifa, short for anti-facists, the name given to far-left protestors who often wear masks and engage in violent attacks during protest.

“Dianne, at some point you’re going to have to trade in that yellow shirt for a black mask if you keep this up,” Underhill said.

While speaking to reporters, Underhill blamed the press for feeding what he said was “radical activism” of the group and argued that the County Commission chambers should be a place of civil discussion.

When asked if his own speech, especially online, was uncivil, Underhill rejected the idea.

“I don’t think I’m uncivil online at all,” Underhill said. “I engage the adversary. The adversary is the lies, the untruths. The reality is if we as your — especially as conservative elected officials — do not push back against the spending, if we don’t push back against the corruption, if we don’t push back against the lies that are said here, then who will?”

He seems nice.

No word on when the lube is scheduled to be delivered.

Also, The Industrial Strength Dildos are my New Wave Fem Punk cover band.

Open thread!

 

Reader Interactions

87Comments

  4. 4.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Major Major Major Major: These aren’t any conservationists, they’re the ones trying to get the local ordnances enforced to prevent Mike Huckabee from closing the beach behind the beach house he bought to the public in violation of state law. Huckabee has dropped a ton of money in the region to allow him, and others like him, to turn significant portions of Florida’s public beaches into private landholdings.

  5. 5.

    NotMax

    We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here.

    Under 18? Hired from Snowflakes R Us? Or both?

  6. 6.

    dmsilev

    I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what exactly distinguishes an industrial-strength dildo from a run of the mill ordinary commercial-grade unit?

    Also, should we be asking about MILSPEC or aeronautical-grade dildos?

  8. 8.

    Raven

    More than a third of the sex-related assaults reported in private rooms at the convention occurred in suites rented by aviators associated with the El Toro Marine Corps Air Station, investigators said. The study describes five “indecent assaults” that took place in one of the suites.

    The centerpiece of the room was a drink-dispensing dildo affixed to a 5-by-8-foot mural of a bull rhinoceros, the squadron mascot. According to the Pentagon, men drinking in the suite forced or tried to force the five women to place the dildo in their mouths to drink “Rhino spunk”–a mixture of rum, Kahlua, milk, ice cream and ice.

  13. 13.

    Raven

    @Adam L Silverman: I had a buddy who was an A 6 driver (flew with McCain) and went to a bunch. By the time I met him he was sober and told me he HAD to stay away from the hooch partly from his TH experiences.

  17. 17.

    Jay

    There is no such thing as a “industrial strength dildo”.

    Dildo’s have no moving parts.

    There are vibrators that are built to higher standards, but at a certain point in time, you just have to shell out for a Hitachi Magic Wand.

  23. 23.

    randy khan

    Not that I condone sending the box to him, but he does seem like the kind of guy who can dish it out and can’t take it.

  26. 26.

    Jay

    @Raven:

    The rabbit’s a vibrator, not a dildo, and one of the greatest inventions, ( by a woman, of course), of the 21st Century,

    But it’s not for industrial use.

  27. 27.

    Jay

    @randy khan:

    He’s also the type of guy who is really twisted up about human sexuality.

    The dildo/glitter/lube/condom bombs dropped on Malheur targetting Snack Team 6, were more effective than the FBI.

  29. 29.

    Another Scott

    This Underhill? RawStory:

    The Florida official who called the Parkland activists “miscreants” appears to be the target of a mail prank, reports the Pensacola News Journal.

    […]

    Despite his calls for a more civil discourse, Underhill himself attacked the Parkland students as “little monsters” and “miscreants” on social media.

    […]

    Hmmm…

    In other news, Twitter:

    LOLGOP @LOLGOP

    LOLGOP Retweeted The New Yorker

    If voting didn’t matter, Republicans wouldn’t mind if black people did it.

    LOLGOP added, The New Yorker Verified account @NewYorker

    In Georgia’s gubernatorial race last year, 100,000 voters’ registrations were cancelled because they hadn’t voted in seven years. Another 53,000, 70 per cent of whom were black, had their registration put on hold for something as minor as a missing hyphen. http://nyer.cm/7NQvIbo

    6:38 PM – 16 Aug 2019

    Yup.

    NewYorker – Stacey Abrams Fight for a Fair Vote.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  37. 37.

    Major Major Major Major

    @Mike in NC:

    Season 2 of FBI drama “Mindhunters” is out on Netflix.

    The first half of the first season didn’t wow me, so I stopped watching… but Canada seems to be bereft of a lot of the shows I was watching on Netflix, so I might just fire it back up.

  43. 43.

    Jay

    @Major Major Major Major:

    We have the CRTC up here, and a variation on the Fairness Doctrine.

    Watch some Schitt’s Creek or Murphy’s Law, tune into CBC Radio at 1:30 tomorrow for The Debaters, 6:30 for Laugh out Loud, catch Under the Influence, or Vynel Tap.

  44. 44.

    Jay

    @The Dangerman:

    As long as you stick to physio or Hitachi’s site. It was designed for medical/commercial massage purposes, but because it’s a “industrial grade” massager with a useful shape and good controls, it has been wildly repurposed.

  46. 46.

    delk

    We have staff members, young people, who have to handle the mail here.

    So let’s put it on the news for even younger people to see. I would have put a mirror in the box before I sent it.

  49. 49.

    Brachiator

    The box itself appeared to be a practical joke box and was only filled with paper and a packing slip billing for the package that included the email address of the sender.

    It’s good to know that no actual dildos were harmed during the execution of this practical joke.

  56. 56.

    Jay

    This is the most gut-wrenching and heart-breaking movie we've seen. Darlin's story is that of hundreds of thousands of immigrants who come here seeking safety. What we do to those who come is a stain on the conscience of all of us.https://t.co/mGLUCTbUe7— RAICES (@RAICESTEXAS) August 16, 2019

  57. 57.

    ruemara

    Well, I finally learned when my swearing in is. Tuesday. Of next week. No time to reschedule or anything.

  61. 61.

    Jackie

    @ruemara: You don’t want to reschedule! Who knows what could happen/go wrong with a later date? So Tuesday the 20th is a day to celebrate!??

  63. 63.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    @ruemara:
    Well, good luck? Glad to see you getting your citizenship. I assume U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services is a shit show, due to both general dysfunction and intentional sabotage I’m sure.

    I wonder if there have been any reports of difficulties getting passports?

  67. 67.

    Kattails

    @ruemara: It will be fine. You know more than most Americans. Enough of us are happy to have you here. Not as many as we might like, but enough. “Psychic moral support for Ruemara” on calendar. Please keep us up to date.

  72. 72.

    Ruckus

    @ruemara:
    Very glad to have you as a fellow citizen.
    The only test most of us have to take is learning how to breath and that seems to mostly come natural. You got here the hard way, you earned it.

  74. 74.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:
    I’m thinking of getting one. I probably should in case the need to bug out of the US ever arises because of Trump regime or any post-Trump GOP admin goes too far. Your wife and daughter should definitely do that

  75. 75.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Jay: Goat and sheep molestation isn’t really a golf thing. I would say that, in the sports world, it is most common in Kiwi and Scots ruggers.

  77. 77.

    smike

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
    This place is always interesting. I’m sitting here calmly recreating, and I read the following:

    So it was just a box without any dildos?

    Maybe the actual dildos were in Cole’s basement.

    The next thing I read is;

    I’m thinking of getting one. I probably should in case…

    I realized I had lost the thread. Congratulations to you, Goku. Welcome.

  79. 79.

    J R in WV

    @Raven:

    700 folks went to the funeral in El Paso.

    I’m glad there was a good turnout, and lots of support from the community for the old widower. I hope they continue to support him, as long as he needs it. I would go there to help provide him support, except for he is in Texas, which I have promised myself I will avoid as much as possible going forward.

  80. 80.

    smike

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Goat and sheep molestation isn’t really a golf thing…

    If the fabled origins of golf are true, bored shepherds were involved. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  83. 83.

    laura

    @ruemara: Congratulations! And thank you for all your efforts to become a citizen. This calls for cake.
    If I were mailing something to Doug Underhill, it’d be a big ole bag of salted dicks.

  85. 85.

    Matt

    During the discussion, Underhill said he compared the group and its founder Dianne Krummel to antifa, short for anti-facists, the name given to far-left protestors who often wear masks and engage in violent attacks during protest.

    It’s positively adorable how fast these assclowns tell on themselves with “ZOMG ANTIFA” freakouts. Fascist snowflakes.

  86. 86.

    Sick of Politics

    same guy condoning a county employee suing one of his main detractors The commissioner that received the empty box labeled Industrial strength dildos has, on his official facebook page a Go Fund me for a county employee that is suing a citizen. It’s defamation per se but most likely a SLAPP lawsuit The citizen regularly speaks out about him. Melissa Pino needs support with her Go Fund me. Will you make this viral?

    He has been labeled FLORIDA MAN.

    It’s on Facebook as Commissioner Doug Underhill

    And this is the citizen needing support. She is unemployed. even $5 is appreciated and a share This is an attack on free speech.Let it go viral

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/te86e8-legal-defense

    Fundraiser by Tracy McAdams : Legal Defense for Mel Pino
    Melissa Has stood up and spoke on behalf of most citizens in Escambia County (Pensacola, FL) and has faced retribution at every angle. She has stood tall and taken it with dignity and respect never once wavering from cowardice acts thrown her way in attempts to silence our voice(s).
    http://www.gofundme.com
    Citizen who speaks out against Dildo Doug needs support.

  87. 87.

    Sick of Politics

    He and others seem to be trying to shut down Melissa Pino from public participation. There a go fund me organized by Tracy McAdams to support her lawsuit.

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