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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Floriduh! Woman: Concealed Carry Edition

Floriduh! Woman: Concealed Carry Edition

by Adam L Silverman|  August 17, 201911:09 pm| 60 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, All Too Normal, Floriduh Woman

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I don’t think this is allowed even with a valid Florida Concealed Weapons License!

Officials say a Florida woman who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop and illegally possessed numerous other wild animals was sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to four charges. https://t.co/wMGJH4Is0k #odd

— AP Oddities (@AP_Oddities) August 15, 2019

Take it away WNDU!

PUNTA GORDA, Fla. (AP) – Officials say a Florida woman who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop and illegally possessed numerous other wild animals has been sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to four charges.

Florida prosecutors say a Charlotte County sheriff’s deputy stopped a pickup truck in May after it ran a stop sign. The driver, 22-year-old driver Michael Clemons, told the deputy he and his 25-year-old passenger, Ariel Machan-Le Quire, were collecting frogs and snakes under an overpass. He gave the deputy permission to search bags in the truck.

When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” backpack, he asked if Machan-Le Quire had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot gator from her pants.

Officials say the Clemons case is pending.

I hope she was at least using a holster!

Open thread!

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Reader Interactions

60Comments

  1. 1.

    Kristine

    August 17, 2019 at 11:20 pm

    I grew up in the Port Charlotte/Punta Gorda area. Good to see that area of the state contribute its share of crazy.

  2. 2.

    rikyrah

    August 17, 2019 at 11:24 pm

    I really can’t get past the alligator in yoga pants ??

  3. 3.

    debbie

    August 17, 2019 at 11:25 pm

    I wonder if cops ask to be transferred to Florida, just for the fun of the experience.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    August 17, 2019 at 11:32 pm

    According to the NRAA, the National Rifled Alligator Association, concealed alligator carry is a sacred constitutional right.

  5. 5.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 17, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in a “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” backpack, he asked if Machan-Le Quire had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot gator from her pants.

    Why does she need 41 turtles? I’m stuck on that one. My WTF meter is already pegged, so the gator in the yoga pants is no big deal.

  6. 6.

    HalfAssedHomesteader

    August 17, 2019 at 11:42 pm

    who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants

    Is this some kind of euphemism I don’t want to know about?

  7. 7.

    Yutsano

    August 17, 2019 at 11:42 pm

    @debbie: I know one of the sheriffs in Orange county. He has definitely had some crazy tales to tell!

  8. 8.

    John Revolta

    August 17, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    Pffftt. Amateurs. She should’ve just said, “No, I don’t have anything else”. Then, if they found the alligator in her yoga pants, she should’ve just said “I forgot he was in there”.
    Is she REALLY from Florida?

  9. 9.

    Steeplejack

    August 17, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Yeah, the 41 turtles are a tipoff that this is something more than just wacky Floriduhns. Probably looking to sell them to pet stores. I wish these cases would get some fines, or something worse than a “ha-ha” squib in the paper. They’re looting the environment.

  10. 10.

    NotMax

    August 17, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    Do NOT want to know where on (or in) their person he or she was concealing a manatee.

    :)

  11. 11.

    sdhays

    August 17, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    @dmsilev: Honestly, I am 100% behind defining the right to bear arms keeping an alligator in your pants, yoga or otherwise.

    It would focus the risk where it belongs, that’s for sure.

  12. 12.

    debbie

    August 17, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    @Yutsano:

    A cop from around here self-published a book of his memorable moments after he retired. These books might make for better fund-raising than calendars.

  13. 13.

    Steeplejack

    August 17, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    @HalfAssedHomesteader:

    “I got yer small gator right here!”

    Okay, that line needs some work.

  14. 14.

    Duane

    August 17, 2019 at 11:52 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: the Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack has me wondering if that’s some Florida voodoo thing to create her own super- turtle team.

  15. 15.

    different-church-lady

    August 17, 2019 at 11:53 pm

    “Is that an alligator in your yoga pants or are you just pleased to see me?”

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    August 17, 2019 at 11:55 pm

    @sdhays

    We fired our guns ’til the barrels melted down
    Then we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round
    We filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind
    And when we touched the powder off – the gator lost his mind

      – Johnny Horton

    (Different state, but what the hell.)

  17. 17.

    RepubAnon

    August 17, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    “Say hello to my little friend!”

  18. 18.

    HalfAssedHomesteader

    August 17, 2019 at 11:57 pm

    @Steeplejack: You want to touch my gator?

  19. 19.

    SRW1

    August 17, 2019 at 11:59 pm

    Next question by the deputy: “Ma’am, is that alligator loaded??

  20. 20.

    Michigan's Man of the Year 2013

    August 18, 2019 at 12:01 am

    I ‘ope she ‘ad a liceaunse for zat minkey.

  21. 21.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 12:13 am

    Didn’t this happen a few weeks ago, or is this another Pants Gator™️?

  22. 22.

    NotMax

    August 18, 2019 at 12:14 am

    Next question, was she wearing Crocs?

  23. 23.

    Ruckus

    August 18, 2019 at 12:19 am

    Doesn’t everybody in FL have a gator in their pants?
    I mean come on! Get with it people.

  24. 24.

    feebog

    August 18, 2019 at 12:20 am

    @dmsilev:

    National Rifled Alligator Association wins the internets tonight. Your cash award from Nigeria is in the mail.

  25. 25.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 12:21 am

    This seems like a good thread to put this.

    The Chicago Bare & Water Show!

    Warning: MAN BUNS!

  26. 26.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 12:23 am

    @dmsilev: What about crocodiles?

  27. 27.

    oatler.

    August 18, 2019 at 12:23 am

    “Gator Bait”

  28. 28.

    delk

    August 18, 2019 at 12:26 am

    Nothing up my sleeves, and Presto!

  29. 29.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 12:27 am

    @delk: Presto! Chompo!

  30. 30.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 18, 2019 at 12:31 am

    @Steeplejack: It is possible that this is some odd Floridian take on Susan Lowden’s medical payment plan.

  31. 31.

    AxelFoley

    August 18, 2019 at 12:31 am

    I’ve heard of snapping pussy, but this is ridiculous.

  32. 32.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 18, 2019 at 12:33 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Help! FYWP is holding my last comment hostage.

  33. 33.

    Amir Khalid

    August 18, 2019 at 12:40 am

    How does one hide anything in yoga pants?

  34. 34.

    dmsilev

    August 18, 2019 at 12:41 am

    @mrmoshpotato: Anybody who doesn’t understand the obvious and crucial distinctions between alligators and crocodiles should be disqualified from opining on the issue of Constitutional Reptile Rights.

    Signed, totally not an NRAA spokesman.

  35. 35.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 18, 2019 at 12:43 am

    @Amir Khalid: As you ask that question, just remember that you will have to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life.

  36. 36.

    trollhattan

    August 18, 2019 at 12:47 am

    @SRW1:
    “Naw, but I sure am.”

    Gator, gator, burning bright
    Goddamnit these yoga pants are nylon!

  37. 37.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 12:49 am

    @dmsilev: So crocodiles are second-class reptiles to you? You reptilist!

  38. 38.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 12:54 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Congrats on making the 2-point conversion tonight. Or did the Brewers just kick 5 field goals?

  39. 39.

    Shalimar

    August 18, 2019 at 12:54 am

    So she had a foot-long in her pants. Is that even a big deal anymore?

  40. 40.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 18, 2019 at 12:58 am

    @mrmoshpotato: A converted try, 2 penalty kicks, and a drop kick.

  41. 41.

    Mart

    August 18, 2019 at 1:01 am

    Machan-Le Quire obviously practices Cajun Hot Yoga. I recall this pose is the Five Toes Front, Four Toes Back Gator position. You can really work up a mean sweat with the three stripe turtles; and when it is over you feel so in touch with nature and energized!

  42. 42.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 1:04 am

    @Mart: You forgot Upward Facing Platypus.

  43. 43.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 18, 2019 at 1:05 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: You know what you did.

  44. 44.

    Repatriated

    August 18, 2019 at 1:10 am

    @dmsilev: The distinction, of course, being how soon one sees them again.

    One gets seen “later”, the other “in a while”.

  45. 45.

    joel hanes

    August 18, 2019 at 1:38 am

    Open thread?

    I’m in rural northern Iowa, and the weather forecast says that in three hours, about 3:30 AM, we have a pretty good chance of thunderstorms with wind gusts to 75 miles an hour, hail up to two inches in diameter, and possibly a tornado.

  46. 46.

    smike

    August 18, 2019 at 1:38 am

    @RepubAnon:

    “Say hello to my little friend!”

    FTW!

  47. 47.

    Amir Khalid

    August 18, 2019 at 2:01 am

    @joel hanes:

    hail up to two inches in diameter

    I hope you have the armour-plate umbrellas ready to go.

  48. 48.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 2:18 am

    @joel hanes: Good luck.

  49. 49.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 2:27 am

    @joel hanes: That storm front has some red in it. Batten down the hatches.

  50. 50.

    SRW1

    August 18, 2019 at 2:37 am

    @joel hanes:

    If you absolutely have to venture outside, make sure you wear a motor bike helmet or some such!

  51. 51.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    August 18, 2019 at 3:07 am

    @NotMax: This Manatee hasn’t been anywhere near Florida or yoga pants (better half is rather modest in that regard).

  52. 52.

    prostratedragon

    August 18, 2019 at 4:22 am

    A little night music:

    “Gentleman,” Fela on alto and singing with the band, 1973

  53. 53.

    Steeplejack

    August 18, 2019 at 4:46 am

    @prostratedragon:

    Good one. Haven’t heard that in a long time.

    Listened to the first “side”—I still hear it that way—but now I’m off to bed. Will save it for later.

  54. 54.

    joel hanes

    August 18, 2019 at 5:07 am

    Passed over with just a couple thunderclaps and a rush of rain.

  55. 55.

    Sloane Ranger

    August 18, 2019 at 5:17 am

    @debbie: A London Metropolitan Police officer got a publishing deal for his 30 years of experiences. It was titled “A Policeman’s Lot ” and had me in stitches.

    Plus Police Review, a weekly magazine aimed at what you would call law enforcement professionals, had a section where readers could submit their own experiences. It was worth reading just for that.

    In my experience, police officers who don’t maintain an active, if somewhat dark,sense of humour and the absurd tend to crash and burn one way or another.

  56. 56.

    BC in Illinois

    August 18, 2019 at 6:48 am

    @Yutsano:
    @debbie:
    @Sloane Ranger:

    When my brother the MD State Policeman was telling of his days at work, you started to expect that there would be a driver going the wrong way on the interstate every time you took a trip.

    My favorite was the story (told as if it happened all the time) of pulling over an erratic driver, having him step out of the car. The guy “pours out of the car, leans against the car, and the first words our of his mouth are . . . [of course . . .

    “Man, am I drunk!”

    As my brother said, “Wrong thing to say.”

    Yes, your honor, the defendant did make a statement. He said, and I quote . . .

  57. 57.

    debbie

    August 18, 2019 at 8:35 am

    @BC in Illinois:

    The brazenness sometimes!

    Just after I moved back here, there was a report on the news about an officer pulling over a pickup truck that was dragging an ATM machine behind it. The driver and passenger insisted it was a washing machine they were taking to the repair shop. They continue insisting all the way to lockup.

  58. 58.

    Viva BrisVegas

    August 18, 2019 at 9:23 am

    @mrmoshpotato:

    What about crocodiles?

    Here we just tie a hook onto a full sized gator and use it as bait for the medium sized crocs.

    For the big crocs we use a bigger bait.

  59. 59.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 11:02 am

    @debbie: ATM – Automatic Taking-dirt-off-clothes Machine

  60. 60.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 18, 2019 at 11:03 am

    @Viva BrisVegas: Haha

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