If I am ever in legal trouble and Rudy Giuliani is the only lawyer who will take my case, please just shoot me and get it over with.
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by John Cole| 62 Comments
This post is in: Trump Crime Cartel
If I am ever in legal trouble and Rudy Giuliani is the only lawyer who will take my case, please just shoot me and get it over with.
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pat
Frankly I’d rather shoot Rudy.
Ruckus
If rudy is your only choice I can see why you’d be in deep shit. But what the hell stupid fucking thing could you possibly be doing to attract rudy as a lawyer?
NotMax
Any legal trouble before will pale in comparison to the legal trouble after Giuliani is on board.
It’s the old “Pay the two dollars, Joe” sketch writ large.
Ruckus
@pat:
That should get him out of trouble.
No really, how many judges would actually appreciate the gesture?
SFAW
@pat:
Glad I’m not the only one who thought that.
Seriously, John, you need to think outside the box a little.
Kathleen
TaMara was big pawed by Blog Boss! (Was going to do ALL CAPS but thought better of it).
I for one am somewhat grateful to Rudy for helping to hasten Trump’s demise.
Mike in NC
Rudy probably sees himself as Supreme Court material.
Yarrow
This seems really dumb:
Biden Campaign Demands TV News Execs Stop Booking Giuliani
By all means point out why Rudy shouldn’t be booked anywhere except by police, but “demand” networks not book him? I can see the Republican campaign ads now. “Democrats bully the press.” Seems really dumb.
lgerard
Someone should put together a sizzle reel of Stephan Miller getting pantsed on national TV, as he was again by Chris Wallace today.
I would watch that
Often
FlyingToaster
@Ruckus: I’m pretty sure it is like “light treason” [YouTube] from Arrested Development. Precisely the kind of stupid shit that would attract Mr. “Noun, Verb, 9/11”.
hells littlest angel
And he waved them very strongly, no doubt.
Ruckus
OK, let’s review.
1. rudy is trump’s unpaid lawyer – still way too high a price
2. trump probably has to pay anyone of any worth whatsoever full pop + 50% but gets this chump for free. And he takes the offer. That’s one cheap ass idiot.
3. How deep do we think rudy will bury trump? I’m thinking mariana trench deep but that’s only an estimate.
Ruckus
@Mike in NC:
Wanna bet he’s thinking wrong side of the bench?
hells littlest angel
And in this fucking day and age, he is.
Kay
hells littlest angel
@Ruckus: This was quite a sacrifice on Trump’s part, since now he can’t cheat Giulianski out of his wages.
Ruckus
@Yarrow:
Maybe reason enough to cause a shift in Biden’s support?
It should, it’s a third grade tactic with no forethought about consequences.
Barry
John, you could always just flip on Giuliani. He’s probably p*ssed off enough people that you’d get a good deal.
mrmoshpotato
@Mike in NC:
C’mon! Some of us are trying to enjoy lunch here.
Ruckus
@hells littlest angel:
Losing his touch. Goes with the senility.
Humdog
@Kay:
This White House is completely populated by failsons.
oatler.
WORKS ON CONTINGENCY?
NO, MONEY DOWN!
Another Scott
@hells littlest angel: There’s some huge scam going on with Donnie and all the “unpaid” people. Manafort, Giuliani, who knows who else.
[The Antideficiency Act] prohibits federal agencies from obligations or expending federal funds in advance or in excess of an appropriation, and from accepting voluntary services.
There’s a good reason for it, and Donnie shouldn’t have anyone working for him for “free”. Because TANSTAAFL.
Grrr…
Cheers,
Scott.
R. Johnston
If Rudy’s the only lawyer who will take your case when you’re in legal trouble, that almost certainly means that you have the money to pay for a lawyer but when meeting with potential lawyers you’re leading with an admission that you’re planning to lie under oath. If you couldn’t pay, Rudy wouldn’t take the case, and if you could pay, were in legal trouble, and didn’t lead with a blatantly ethically disqualifying statement, someone else would be willing to take the case as well.
So, if you’re planning to lie under oath, just don’t tell your lawyer about it and you won’t ever be in this situation.
zhena gogolia
@lgerard:
Seems as if Aaron Rupar has granted your wish on Twitter. I can’t watch yet because it will bother my husband, who’s still working. (We’re on the deck together and I don’t want to go inside.)
zhena gogolia
Did anyone see SNL? Maya Rudolph was pretty funny as Kamala Harris.
Kay
Seems like someone could look into “Giuliani Partners”. It’s a sure thing it’s incredibly sleazy and probably loaded with publicly-funded grift.
mrmoshpotato
@oatler.: Is Rudy the “Diamond and Silk Legal Team”?
LOL: Diamond And Silk Demand C&L Cease And Desist Something
Ruckus
@R. Johnston:
One of the reasons that rudy is trump’s lawyer is that both of them are too stupid and senile to be able to tell the difference between a lie and the truth, as well as recognize that they can’t tell that difference. They both have been scamming for so long that they don’t even know that they are.
Kay
@Humdog:
Low quality hires, starting with the boss and just continuing from there. I feel like it’s absolutely perfect that the son SUED because he got cut from a sports team in college. Sued them!
The sense of entitlement these people have it just off the charts.
Kent
The fucking scary thing is that Rudy is perhaps the more competent of Trump’s personal retinue
He’s also got the Manafort cronies, Fox news regulars, and husband and wife team of Joe diGenova and Victoria Toensing working for him.
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/full-picture-coming-into-view-2
MattF
@Yarrow: Um, yes.
If you’re ever wondering how the ‘news media’ went from ‘talking heads’ to ‘shouting heads’, just look at Rudy. It’s how he does business.
Mai naem mobile
Hey, Cole maybe you can get Jared Kushner to represent you? You know he’s a lawyer right? Well, for right now anyway. Trumpov has him doing an awesome job on midwest peace, gun reform, healthcare reform, tariffs and the Russians. I am sure he can handle something so small as defending you on the charge of taking poorly lit photographs.
mrmoshpotato
@Mai naem mobile:
And doing all the winning at all of them.
hilts
Saul Goodman has more gravitas and higher ethical standards than media whore Rudy Giuliani.
dmsilev
I have to say, I’m more impressed by Stephen Miller, who today repeatedly called Trump ‘the real whistleblower’. Do you think maybe the problem is that they just don’t know what the term actually means and are too embarrassed to ask?
Ohio Mom
How was Homecoming?
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: Maybe they gave Putin the code name of Whistle? Sorry, not sorry.
lgerard
@mrmoshpotato:
No.that’s Putin’s code name
mrmoshpotato
@lgerard: I take it you mean Putin’s code name for Dump.
Aleta
@Mike in NC: He saw himself as a senator, then as president. Then as T’s attorney general, then as his homeland security chief. (Gave his name out to the media in both cases but T saw him only as chief of obedient corruption.)
Now we have to get him disbarred, so that day may never come when John calls upon us to do a service for him.
Kelly
@Yarrow: Why would Biden or any Democrat want to get Rudy off off TV? It should be “Mayor, please proceed.”
lgerard
@mrmoshpotato:
Sorry, I think I meant what you meant
The proliferation of alternate universes in the trump era has left me totally confused
PaulWartenberg
Relax John. I know a guy from high school who is willing to represent you.
Frankensteinbeck
@dmsilev:
Considering the whistleblower’s complaint could be dismissed as unproven but Trump confessed, via ‘transcript’, to pressuring a foreign leader to provide evidence against his political enemies, yeah, that seems accurate!
Jay
@Kay:
Bloomburg did,
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2019-04-05/where-rudy-giuliani-s-money-comes-from
Yeah, it’s shady.
Jay
@Kelly:
Because he’s spreading Russian Manufactured Conspiracy Theories in Prime Time,
By hosting him, they are giving the CT , to the low informed, an aura of plausibility, just like the FTFNYT did with Clinton Cash.
Ruckus
@dmsilev:
They know what the term means. They just live in an alternative world. Todays republican party is living in faux mobius world. They have their own news service and totally alternative realities. It’s like they are all on a brown acid trip. A massive, organized brown acid trip. Opioids have nothing on this trip.
Jay
Jay
Leto
@Ohio Mom: If he’s thinking Rudy might be his lawyer, it can’t have gone well. Someone needs to check on the pets!
Jay
RepubAnon
@Barry: Alternatively, pay Rudy to work for the other side. They’ll lose so bigly, they’d be paying off your mortgage!
;-)
Seriously, though, Rudy’s trying the dreaded “Chewbacca Defense” on the US electorate. If he can confuse the voters, they won’t put pressure on their Senators to convict.
Redshift
I appreciate our host posting in the blog rather than Twitter, but how is it that this post is tweet-length and isn’t also on Twitter?
Frankensteinbeck
@RepubAnon:
No. He’s just a deranged old racist. He and the majority of Republicans believe this stuff, because the alternative is that they aren’t automatically better than minorities.
Starfish
@Another Scott: Guilliani is trying to not pay his third ex-wife alimony so he quit a paying job a month after the divorce was done.
HalfAssedHomesteader
Fuckin’ Stephanopolis! He always let’s his guests hijack the interview so they can spew their talking points. The guy is worthless.
Another Scott
@Starfish: The Bloomberg story cited above says Rudy is still taking in millions:
There’s little doubt that Rudy’s trying to hide money in the divorce, but Donnie wants him to work for free so that he’s dependent on Donnie’s favor. It’s mob boss behavior.
Cheers,
Scott.
Chris Johnson
@hilts:
Saul Goodman out of Nero Wolfe stories? Dear God, yes.
This administration? PFAUGH!
jl
I dunno, If Soros and Joe Biden come after one John G. Cole because he won’t be bribed with that miserable lefty Soros money, and the corrupt Deep State FBI won’t take his calls, and Cole knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Giuliani, maybe that will be all he has. His last hope.
And let me tell you, Giuliani is a brave secret agent man, with nerves of steel. He won’t be afraid to come and dig into the mean streets of W by God VA.
jl
@Another Scott: “What I do is enormously exciting.”
I’d find raking in millions and millions of dollars for peddling BS enormously exciting too. Except the breaking the law part, I guess Giuliani and I differ there.
jayjaybear
@Chris Johnson: That’s Archie Goodwin. Saul Goodman is the seriously ethically-challenged lawyer on Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul.