.
I like this. The unified moron theory. https://t.co/WH3jQv8zry
— Schooley (@Rschooley) October 4, 2019
There is a growing body of empirical support for Marcotte’s theory:
As one of apparently only a dozen people who bothered to read the Mueller report, what struck me as the likeliest explanation for the events in the Russia section was this: Russia agents did seriously consider looping Trump, who badly wanted in, to their conspiracy.
— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) October 4, 2019
The Russians then realized Trump’s people were a nest of idiots who were *definitely* going to get caught if they were included in the real conspiracy. So they decided, wisely, to go in another direction to install this idiot, who they had confirmed as idiot, as our president.
— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) October 4, 2019
This Ukraine scandal, Trump’s attempt to get in on a real conspiracy by making his own after the Russians iced him out, just proves that their caution in including him was well-earned.
Just a theory, but I think a good one.
— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) October 4, 2019
Further support:
I almost forgot. Those texts between Trump diplomats seeking dirt from Ukraine? They were sent not on State Dept email but on WhatsApp. https://t.co/Wzh9SuYx5Y
— Greg Miller (@gregpmiller) October 5, 2019
Backstory:
At every step, the conspiracy theory President Trump’s inner-circle believes has been debunked.
Its three parts don’t make sense together.
Yet Giuliani, Barr and Pompeo have been flying around the world, trying to retrofit evidence to fit its conclusion.https://t.co/CMMwlg8ScM
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) October 3, 2019
Calling All Authors In Our Midst: Submissions, Please
Raoul
Trump has certainly unified all the morons. And sadly, it appears that stupidity exceeds the crazification factor by about 10%.
SFAW
Seth Rich knew that Hitlary, no one else, was behind everything: Uranium 1, Skripal, the Russia-aided conspiracy to throw the election to Hitlary, Judge Crater, the Hindenburg, Teapot Dome, etc., and for that, she killed him, just the way she killed Vince Foster, Danny Casolaro, and Austin Tucker/Joseph Frady.
And the interesting thing about this is: I bet there are more than 10 people who would believe all of that.
NotMax
To borrow a term usually relegated to chess, the White House and maladministration are deep in zugzwang territory
Mary G
Well, they aren’t that bright and things got out of hand.
The idiots who chased bizarre theories about Benghazi for years so they certainly won’t give up on this one.
mrmoshpotato
@NotMax:
What does being a Soviet shitpile mobster conman crime family have to do with chess? Do you scream out, “Daddy Vladdy, Daddy Vladdy, interfere in this chess game, so I don’t go down as a fat, orange, fascist loser!”?
Just One More Canuck
It’s the Piranha Brothers
mrmoshpotato
@Mary G: Are you saying Hillary’s not a witch with basement-creating powers?
germy
Frankensteinbeck
@SFAW:
You forgot Epstein, and that one’s not a joke because they do actually think she killed Epstein to cover up Bill being one of the friends Epstein supplied underage girls to.
SFAW
@NotMax:
Except they’re playing 123-dimensional chess, libtard! This means all your zugschwinging macht nichts
Or something
Ruckus
@NotMax:
Not only there but stupid and clueless enough to only be able to make it even far worse with every subsequent move.
chris
Someone in the enormous thread downstairs asked about the shitgibbon’s drug use. The answer is… suda-fed. Thread.
Leto
@mrmoshpotato: When caught cheating, you scream, stand up, flip the table, then claim the table flipping never happened, but if it did you were within your rights because you were cheating, so you should “king me” and then take your marbles home. – Unified Moron Chess Theory
MisterForkbeard
@Frankensteinbeck: I heard that from some supposedly rational people, too. It’s amazing how WELL the Hillary-is-the-devil campaign worked.
chris
@NotMax: Nope, they’re just eating the checkers.
germy
@chris: But apparently it’s the UK version of sudafed, which doesn’t give the high drumpf is looking for. But maybe he didn’t know that.
SFAW
@Frankensteinbeck:
I didn’t forget Epstein, because I know the REAL truth, and … [sound of gunfire, off in the distance]
… uh, gotta run.
LivinginExile
I think if the history of the human race had been left in the hands of the conservative members of the tribe we would still be squatting in front of caves eating raw monkey meat. Fire! We don’t need no stinking fire! My daddy never had that there fire! His daddy never had nun of it That there fires dangerous!
Leto
@Frankensteinbeck: If there’s anyone to suspect, it’s the Queen. Whose finger prints did they not find in the cell? She wears gloves all the time. Just sayin’… *adjusts metallic head warmer more firmly
chris
@germy: Both kinds the way I read it.
piratedan
@SFAW: pretty close, but you forgot the one-armed man, who is in cahoots with both the Illuminati and the Rothschilds….
mrmoshpotato
@Leto: AND I’M TOTALLY SITTING DOWN, ACTUALLY RECLINING!, AND NOT SCREAMING, YOU LIBTARDS! SAD!
germy
@chris: He definitely self-medicates.
He’s trying to fix something broken, but not doing a very good job of it.
mrmoshpotato
@MisterForkbeard:
Decades of Clinton ratfucking will do that.
NotMax
@Ruckus
Thanks you for understanding I was applying the term and was not intimating chess was being played.
(Plus it’s fun to say “zugzwang.”)
mrmoshpotato
@Leto:
LOL
scav
They’re sharpying the King
JamesDonald as we type1 The song of songs, which is Donoldmon’s.
2 Let him grab puss with the grabness of his hands: for thy crowd is bigger than ever.
3 Because of the biglyness of thy good ratings thy fame is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the models love thee.
4 Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy crowd more than ever: the upright love thee.
5 I am orange, but comely, O ye daughters of Redmerika, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Donoldmon.
6 Look not upon me, because I am orange, because the sunbed hath looked upon me: my mother’s children were angry with me; they made me the keeper of the country; but mine own country have I not kept.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
If he was only using his own money on this crap — no, strike that, he never uses his own money— if he was only using the money of Fox-addled marks, it would be one thing.
But by using DOJ and misappropriated DoD money and other government agencies for this BS, he is making me and you pay for it.
And that really gnaws at me.
Jay C
@mrmoshpotato:
Not yet, but that will probably be next week’s appeal…..
But seemingly, judging by the no-doubt-entirely-spontaneous-and-in-no-way-coordinated response(s) from various Republicans today, this week’s talking point is that Trump’s requests to foreign countries to investigate the Bidens for “corruption” were all just “jokes” and “shouldn’t be taken seriously”. No really, Rep. Jim Jordan actually said that. On the record.
I guess that’s the basic Republican fallback position (today)? Trump isn’t a crook, or a sellout, or incompetent: just a comedian (or idiot) who shouldn’t be given any credibility? And THAT’S what they think is an argument against impeachment??
mrmoshpotato
@NotMax: You just can’t see that they’re playing chess, and are geniuses*.
*For very small percentage of genius. I mean 0.000000000000001% of each of their brains is tremendous bogly geenious.
mrmoshpotato
@Jay C:
And Chuckles Todd will find a way to blame the Democrats.
Leto
@mrmoshpotato: You could network their brains together and an abacus could still outperform them.
MattF
@SFAW: Oops…I just got a Jgram from the Council of Alte Kakers demanding that this thread stop immediately.
Raoul
The call was perfect. But Rick Perry made him do it. So, uh, what?
As for calling his ask of China being a joke? As always, Trump doesn’t joke. Also, too, why would Barr and Pompeo be flying around on these missions if the China thing was a joke?
It’s just preposterous.
Leto
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: And that’s conservative ideology in practice. Siphoning off public funds to private entities, with no accountability and nothing to show for it. Which in turn causes people to lose faith in government, yet they continue to send back the very same people that are causing the problems. Same issues we’ve covered before.
Yutsano
Since we’re open thread, this article about the IRS pissed me off. For all his faults, Rettig is right. The IRS needs money. Right now we’re grabbing people from other divisions just trying to forestall a complete collapse.We need bodies. Young bodies. The IRS needs the dosh and soon. Or something is going to break.
Ella in New Mexico
@scav: OMG that’s frigging priceless! lolol
Uncle Cosmo
Last time I looked, we were calling this “UkraniumOne,” not “UrkrainiumOne”.
RSA
A few months after “WhatsApp reveals major security flaw that could let hackers access phones”.
Just Chuck
@Leto: I think “He’s not hurting the right people” says everything you need to know about why they keep returning these assholes.
Leto
@Yutsano: Starve the beast, baby! Starve the beast! 40 years of, “the government is the problem; run it like a business!” Has resulted in most agencies undermanned and underfunded. And just these three years is showing that, if you’re a competent/smart/driven young person and you go to work for the government: 1) you might not get paid on time (continual government shutdown threats) 2) you might get fired if you do your job and 3) you might have to work for morally/ethically corrupt individuals. Not to mention that you won’t really get raises, you might be moved to some out of the way out way city due to politics… Conservatives have made government/public service so unattractive that young professionals are steering clear. This is a multi-generational problem we’re facing.
sdhays
@Leto: And important functions are privatized to contractors.
Matt McIrvin
@Jay C:
This is the Internet troll maneuver known as “Schrödinger’s Douchebag.” You say all sorts of outrageous things, and whether you were joking or not depends entirely on the reaction to what you said.
WaterGirl
@Mary G: OT but did you see my reply to you yesterday?
Bill Arnold
@RSA:
or Volker released his end of the messages, which he did. These encrypting messaging apps are only as secure as the union of the endpoints (phones, usually, though some like signal support computers as endpoints). A lot of the FUD surround them about how they’re breakable is FUD, IMO, to encourage people to give up and use insecure messaging. (I might not want to trust my life to e.g Signal, but I’d trust it a lot more than SMS.)
MattF
@Matt McIrvin: However, the cat is definitely dead.
Leto
@sdhays: Exactly. Most of the military has been contracted out. What I had to go through to get my radio’s serviced in a war zone… most of us predicted the problems but, you know, we’re just enlisted so it doesn’t really matter what the people with first hand knowledge of all this shit think. There’s $$$ to be made; they’ll just adapt/overcome.
Bill Arnold
@chris:
LOL!!
There are meds and etc that would help a brain like his quite a bit. Sudafed is not one of them.
chris
@Bill Arnold:
Lightly edited because FYWP
Another Scott
@chris: Cocaine these days would probably kill him. It has killed much, much younger people.
:-(
Cheers,
Scott.
MattF
@chris: And here’s a discussion of Trump’s pupil size:
medium.com/@DrGJackBrown/body-language-and-medical-analysis-4221-why-are-donald-trumps-pupils-interm…
Bill Arnold
@chris:
It means that between the drugs and redlining[0], he is doing progressive damage to his brain, in part because of its age.
[0] No really; his (flabby) elderly brain is being pushed too hard.
Jay
SFAW
More good news: TPM is reporting that Lindsey Graham is threatening to subpoena the whistleblower, to have him testify “so that the American people can judge his credibility” or some such. Former JAG-off icer Graham also wanted to know how close the whistleblower was to noted non-Republican-and-therefore-traitor John Brennan.
Where the fuck are those highly targeted meteorites when you need them?
mrmoshpotato
@Leto:
Ruckus
@Leto:
It did rather amaze me that most every function on a base was done by military personnel. From what I understand now almost all functions are done by contractors, except in forward bases, in actual combat. And being the military there were bodies to do most everything. Some civilians but nothing like today.
mrmoshpotato
@Uncle Cosmo: Yer da Urkrainium puppet!
Bill Arnold
@MattF:
Maybe it’s pharmaceuticals (or illegal drugs). That piece focuses on the medical, but there are other factors involved in pupil size. (And scientific literature; a few papers recently.) E.g. as a kid, I figured out how to dilate my pupils at will, and can still do it. (There’s also related arcania, for those so inclined.)
Jay
Philbert
@Yutsano: This! Budget increase and hiring! Getting rid of compliance has been a quieter goal along with the popular lowering of taxes.
Jay
Ladyraxterinok
@Leto: Didn’t Art Bell’s show under one of later moderators have caller or link that claimed queen is head of the aliens who centuries ago took over the world. Pretty fun when some of them called in.
Yes, there was a period a few yrs ago when I was awake most of the nite, listening to that show
Jay
Leto
@Ladyraxterinok: Haha, I’m not sure but I do know that the lead singer for Muse honestly believes that whole lizard earth ruler conspiracy theory. Some of their songs are about it. Great songs, but cray cray!
@Ruckus: Most functions on base were still done by us even when I came in (1997). It was a slow creep, but by ten years in a lot of support functions were at least 50% civilian/contractor. Most foward bases are still all military, but the mega bases are heavily contractor. Harris, who has the prime contract for most tactical radios, has major service centers at most mega bases. In my case, I was at a smaller but growing base and when one of my radio’s faulted, we had to send a guy back to the mega base for him to turn the radio in, wait 24 hours, and then come back. We had to coordinate the flights to get him there and lose him for 48-72 (or longer because he was a lower priority mission for movement) hours. I can’t imagine what the guys out in the remote FOBs had to deal with to get radio’s replaced because they’re all under warranty so we can’t open them up, and because they’re under warranty for the next twenty years, we don’t have spare parts for them. A large portion of my career field turned into FedEx officials.
Like so many of these programs, they were billed as cost saving measures but they aren’t. In numerous ways. I’m also not advocating for us not to change/adapt/implement cost saving measures.
Jay
Another Scott
@Bill Arnold: I used to love teasing our cats to make their pupils get huge (as they do when they’re hunting). I’m jealous that you can do it to yourself!
Cheers,
Scott.
mrmoshpotato
@Jay: I’m not seeing a theme.
Bill Arnold
@Another Scott:
That’s one reason cat lovers love cats.
It’s a similar thing really; roughly a fully focused, emotionally aroused mind. Try it with a mirror; you may be able to work it out. (I’ve found it’s related to a “flow state” of mind.)
jimmiraybob
@MisterForkbeard:
It’s also amazing how WELL the Donald-is-the-God-annointed ruler campaign worked. It’s a whole package.
Ruckus
@Leto:
One of the things I “liked” was fiscal year end. The ship had a total budget – I was told of $5,000,000./year. Pay/fuel/food/standard amounts of munitions/parts/tools/yard maintenance/dry docking/IOW everything outside of combat stores/munitions. At the end of the fiscal year we were told to go to the tool/standard hardware store on base and spend all we wanted so that the budget would not be lowered for the next year because of course we weren’t allowed to go anytime during the year, and with the level of most tools available we had to stock up or go without. Specialty tools were ordered like spare parts, and there were a number of specialty tools for some gear. There is a lot to improve in the military but cost cutting without concurrent mission reduction is just wrong. It’s much tougher on equipment, the people and the mission.
Ken
@Bill Arnold: Either than, or you’re a cat person. I don’t mean the usual kind – I should have said one of the Cat People.
Ken
@Uncle Cosmo:
You didn’t see that Jaleel White is now implicated? It’s amazing how that one little piece of the puzzle brings together all the threads. Either that or I’ve accidentally OD’d on the Sudafed I’ve been taking for my “sniffles”.
Leto
@Ruckus: That practice is still alive and well, and equally hated by everyone involved.
Ruckus
@Leto:
Yeah, it’s the way it works, don’t mess with it.
And really if you think about it, given the mission, and at least the navy, there isn’t much other way. We backed into the mud at Gitmo once, not aground, but after that we had to go into drydock to have the rudders/props, shaft stays inspected. I have no idea how much that cost but I’d bet it wasn’t cheap. Could a smaller budget work with a side of emergency funds? Probably but the money would still have to be accounted for, taxes collected and overall spending controlled. I’ve run two small business, one with major machine costs and money is always the limiting factor. And one never knows when a machine will break down or an earthquake will hit. And if you had enough money to never have to worry about it, you probably wouldn’t run a machine shop, or a 6 day a week bicycle shop.
Dev Null
@mrmoshpotato:
Didn’t see a (serious) response to the question – apologies if there’s a response and I missed it – but should there be anyone left who hasn’t figured it out: “zugswang” means it’s your move, your position would be fine were you allowed to pass (but chess being chess, that’s not allowed), and no matter what move you make, your move will cost you material or even the game.
Dev Null
@Leto:
Nimzovich actually did this.
The first part, anyway.
And screamed “why must I lose to this idiot?”