(see my comment last night about the great elevator-outage crisis at home. Final total: 3 service visits from elevator techs. 3 separate repair crews from the city power utility, including two brief shutdowns of an entire block, plus a couple of cops to handle traffic because of the powered-off traffic lights, 3 days start to finish.)
If it’s any consolation, elevator in Mom’s building was out of commission for three months shortly after the inspector told the building manager he would no longer be able to sign the placard displayed therein.
6.
dmsilev
@NotMax: Jeez, that’s awful. I was pushing this as fast as I could because a few of my neighbors have restricted mobility and without an elevator they’re either trapped or need another person to help them down the stairs. Three days wasn’t great, but it was survivable. Three months? Wow.
These 2 musicians are transcendently gifted, we are blessed with their presence among us. Together the blessing is magnified!
Thanks for sharing.
9.
Tony Jay
++++++++BREXIT NEWS++++++++BREXIT NEWS+++++++++
“THIS OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFETIME”
A bright good day to all you good, good people here on Planet Earth. And what a splendiferous day it is too. It’s all going off with oodles of bish-bang-a-bing-bong, isn’t it? Your own beloved resident president centaur-trotting ever closer to the brink of a fully-fledged nervous breakdown (nice!), the X-Men embarking upon the first polyandrous relationship(s) in mainstream comics (niche!) and over here in the land of rain and roundabouts Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was last-night elevated high into the firmament of God’s favoured children by 329 votes to 299, only to be cast down mere minutes later into an abyss of broken promises and jagged alternatives by 320 votes to 308 (nasty!)
Brexit. Fucking hell.
So, last night we had two votes in Parliament on Skanky Malfoy’s necrotic excuse for a Withdrawal Agreement specifying the terms on which the currently United Kingdom would exit the European Union. One to advance it to a 2nd Reading, at which point it would normally be opened up for amendments and breaking down into constituent clauses that MPs could chew over in Committee. The other to agree a ‘programme order’ for its passage on a much-accelerated timetable, giving MPs only three days in which to complete every stage of passage, pack in every minute of debate and hold every vote. Why so hasty? Well, frankly, because the slovenly fucker doesn’t want anyone reading it. He certainly hasn’t read it, which was proven beyond doubt when he was unable to answer questions about the new Import/Export regime he’d have to impose between Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK asked by his former allies in the DUP (current location: squashed flat under the wheels of Flobalob’s Bus of State) and was reduced to gabbling incoherently that everything was just fine and would always be fine as long as everyone agreed to “Get Brexit Done”.
In truth, nothing was fine, because the Withdrawal Agreement he’d returned to Parliament with is a mess and so chock full of poison pill clauses and contradictory claims the lawyers who drafted Melania’s pre-nup could only look on with wall-eyed respect. Johnson claimed triumphantly that no one had believed he could ever get the EU to remove the Northern Ireland ‘backstop’ provision that had crippled Theresa May’s multiple failed attempts to get a Brexit Deal over the line, but he’d done it. Huzzah for the Great Negotiator, eh? To which multiple commentators hastened to point out that, on the contrary, no one had believed he’d ever get changes to the backstop unless he broke his solemn vow never to capitulate to the EU’s three year old demands for Northern Ireland to have a separate status to the rest of the UK and thus forfeit the DUP’s 10 votes in Parliament. But he did, so he did, and now he actually wanted applause for being a dishonest sell-out? Habit of a lifetime and all that, but surely even he had enough intellectual honesty to appreciate that that wasn’t going to be forthcoming from… oh, right, no, forgot who we were talking about. ‘Intellectual’ and ‘honesty’ are two words notable by their absence from Flobalob’s internal lexicon, their spaces being taken up by variations on the word ‘totty’ and what he’d like to do to it if only she (or a friend) would just come into the bathroom with him for a few minutes.
Nevertheless, the battle-lines were drawn. If Johnson got the 2nd Reading and the curtailed timetable voted through he’d be able to show the EU that he was on his way to forcing a Brexit Deal through Parliament, so they in turn wouldn’t have to offer the UK the deadline extension that he’d been forced to ask for on Saturday night (another broken rung on the ladder of his credibility) and he could still use the threat of a No Deal Brexit to threaten/cajole (depending on their Brextremist leanings) MPs into supporting him, or else. Not content with that, his chief-advisor, Dominic “Unnamed Downing Street Source” Cummings had told the BBC’s ever obsequious Chief Political Stenographer, Laura Kuenssberg, that if MPs refused to agree on his timetable Johnson would immediately yank the entire bill and demand a General Election, a threat aimed straight at the heart of the few not-actually-insane Tory MPs and some “fuck, there’s a lot of scary racists around here isn’t there?” Labour MPs in heavily Leave-voting constituencies. Vote with me or explain to White Van Man and his Angry White Friends why you hate Inger-Land so much. Charming.
When it came to the votes, a nation held its breath and I took a bath. Playing the “Make the Shark eat the Pirate in a funny way” game with a six-year old beats waiting to see how spineless British politicians can be any old day of the week. So, it was only after the event that I saw 19 Labour MPs had broken the Labour whip to vote with the unified Tory Party and a mulch of headbanging Independents to get Johnson’s bill through its 2nd Reading, progressing Brexit further towards the finish line than Theresa May had ever managed. Five of them were no surprise since they were the long-term Brextremist true-believers who’d always voted with May and will still be voting for Brexit even as the dying Earth gets swallowed up in the Sun’s expanding corona. The other fourteen, however, were a mix of cowards who refused to challenge the Leave-voters in their areas, rabid Corbyn-haters with axes to grind, and possibly a handful who saw the Amendment phase as an opportunity to redeem their reputations slightly by adding in a Customs Union provision, for example. Nevertheless, forgive me if I’m blunt, but fuck you all and the backwards, bigoted mules you rode in on. You all voted against Theresa May’s deal at this stage, and at least her bill had the pretense of Worker’s Rights protections that Johnson had just deliberately stripped out of the legally binding Withdrawal Agreement and popped into the non-binding Political Statement folder for later discussion. So I hope you all get deselected by your constituency parties and have to go to work for a living picking chunks of sweetcorn out of horseshit for recycling into Vegan Hotdogs, and when you sit there whining about “intolerance for dissent” and “bullying of moderates”, I hope the unemployed former social-worker with three kids and no house because the Tories cut funding for their local authority and stopped her housing benefits because of a paperwork error sitting next to you at the Job Centre reminds you, forcibly, that you chose to vote against your Party and with the fucking Tories on the most important piece of society-wrecking legislation in British history, so shut the fuck up and eat your ration of dry toast.
On the other hand, they’re mostly anti-Corbyn, so I’m sure there will be a slew of ‘Think Tanks’ and lobby groups willing to reward them for their service to the great cause, if the Guardian doesn’t sign them all up as political columnists first.
After all that, it was with some surprise and a feeling of immense relief that I saw the majority of the Brexit 19 had voted against the programme order, which went down 320 to 308, much along the lines of the Letwin Amendment last week. Okay then, you can have jam on your toast, but you can still fuck off to deselection island and play with the turtles.
What all this meant, in an unnecessarily verbose nutshell, was that while Johnson’s deal could advance to the stage where MPs could start picking it apart with revisions and amendments, it couldn’t be barged through at a breakneck speed. And what this meant was that there was no way for the Bard of Brexit to hit his self-imposed deadline of 31st of October. There would have to be an extension, almost certainly to the end of January next year as specified in the Benn Act, and that would mean No Deal was 99.9% off the table, unusable as a convincing threat, but still very much alive as a propaganda weapon with which Nigel Farage and his foreign-backed Brexit Fighters could beat Flobalob Johnson about the hair and wattle during the now almost inevitable General Election campaign.
It’s always worth bearing in mind, despite the complete blackout on the topic imposed by British political media since Johnson succeeded to the leadership of the Tory Party, that his main attraction to Tory MPs was his Brexit bona fides. Only he had the necessary credibility with the Tory Party’s radicalised base allied to an intense, borderline-abusive relationship with the British Media to “Get Brexit Done” without losing too many right-wing voters to Nigel “Mr Innsmouth 1966” Farage and the Klan Brexit. Every time Johnson has suffered a defeat and set off, goalposts on his back, to establish another implacable red-line in the sand, Farage has indulged in a little stiletto-pointed needling, just enough to remind the 20% to 25% of Tory voters who are actually Brexit Partei entryists who the real Big Frog is on the Brexit Log, while not enough to stir the British Media into a counter-strike against their louche lothario’s tormentor.
But if Johnson fails at his task so utterly that he has to enter a General Election campaign relying on the easily dismantled claim that only he can ‘deliver’ the Brexit that Leavers voted for…. Farage is going to split him open from paunch to perineum and bathe in his pox-riddled blood. Unless the billionaire backers of Brexit hold him back to prevent a Labour victory (possible) Farage can have a field-day exposing the Tory Party as the incompetent Establishment self-abusers they in fact are and chew them up from the Right like, well, like Donald Trump through a field of Republican Presidential candidates. Farage, you see, doesn’t really – want – Brexit. There’s no money or perks or media exposure in him actually winning (see Farage, Nigel: 2016 to 2019), but the campaign, the crusade, the long, neverending story of one man’s brave struggle to free his country from the bonds of treason, occupation and collaboration… My God! There’s gold in them there shills, boy! Crucify Johnson, split the Leave vote, pin all the blame for Remain victory on the Tories, and he gets to emerge as the leader of the Endless Opposition to European Union membership, maybe even with a seat in Parliament, if he can finally get one.
But that’s for the future. At present Johnson’s bill is officially ‘in limbo’ and going nowhere without buy-in from other Parties (of which, chances are properly fat). Both the Scottish and Welsh Nationalist Parties have officially informed the EU that their devolved assemblies withhold consent from any arrangement Johnson tries to work out, which actually kicks a few rungs out from under his claim to be speaking for the entire United Kingdom. An anonymous civil servant working on Operation Yellowhammer, the notorious Government planning assessment for how the country would deal with a No Deal Brexit, has given an interview with the Guardian in which they say:
“Heaven help us if no deal actually happens. Because, even with the best efforts of civil servants like me, Operation Yellowhammer won’t be enough, even with its enormous price tag. Not even close. And while – outrageously – there won’t be any economic analysis prepared by the government on the impact of the new deal, we already know – thanks to Office for Budget Responsibility forecasts – that the impact of no deal will make the £6.3bn spent this year on no-deal planning look like peanuts.”
Johnson invited Corbyn, his chief advisor and the Labour Chief Whip to a talk this morning on maybe working out a deal on the timetable, which sent the Circle-Jerk of Conservative Party trolls who infest the Guardian comment threads into an hour long onanistic flurry of “Betrayer!” and “Selling out Remain!” taunts before Prime Minister’s Question Time began (a rarity, since Johnson normally dodges these) and it turned out Labour had (shock horror) no fucks left to give for Johnson’s flaming Hindenberg of a Deal and just wanted to get the length and Government acceptance of an extension nailed down before getting its Election war-paint on.
Where do we go now? Well, the bad-guys are still bad-guys, so we should expect them to try and do bad things if only to win propaganda victories in the Media, but I see it only a few credible alternatives. Johnson promised an Election if his timetable was voted down, and though he’s backtracked from that like a Nicholas Brother in full 1920s funk-mode, that’s where we’re going. He could try and force an election with a One Line Bill that Parliament could vote on saying roughly “Notwithstanding the Fixed term Elections Act, let’s boogie”, but that would be amendable before passage, and Aged Tory Grandee Ken Clarke has already said he’d put forward an amendment lowering the voting age to 16, which would add millions of Remain voters to the electorate (but you still just voted with Johnson twice, didn’t you? You fucking Tory fake) so there’s no way they’re doing that.
Johnson could simply table a motion for 2/3 of the House to vote for a General Election, but that might run the risk of Johnson fucking with the election dates after Parliament has been dissolved for the Election. It would depend very much on what kind of extension the EU offers. Too short and we’re back in the slurry with Johnson demanding an Election and the Opposition not trusting him with the date unless he signs something legally binding. If it’s January 31st it’s hard to see how this minority Government slopes on past Christmas without Labour calling a Vote of No Confidence on them. After all, people are dying under this Government’s austerity, and if Johnson would order his MPs to join with Labour in making it happen…. We’ll find out very soon, I think.
Can’t wait. This is the only way Brexit gets done, and I mean that in the most violently fatal way possible. Oh, and while we’re waiting, here’s an interesting article by Peter Oborne, a former telegraph and current Daily Mail writer (so hardly a crazed Corbynite Leftist) on the sad state of modern British media and its slavish relationship to Johnson’s regime.
Enjoy Infrastructure Week!
10.
Jeffro
Would love to see him sometime, but whew, last tour those tickets were EXPENSIVE!
I was actually thinking about a sort of “never seen/wanna see in 2020” concert list earlier today…it’s not too long (yet!)
Seeing Avett Bros next week, that should be fun. =)
@NotMax: Elevator in my dad’s nursing home was out for ten days. They were having to hike the meals up the stairs two at a time instead of sending the tray cart up the elevator! And none of the staff quit. Angels or saints, whichever.
13.
Mary G
@Tony Jay: ??????
You really are a respite. At least we have Nancy Smash.
I love Emmylou Harris and Mark Knopfler and I love this song. They both have good distinctive voices.
I honestly can’t handle any more of Trumpov. I know that’s what Steve Bannon is aiming for but I just can’t deal with the crap they pull, his voice drives me nuts and just their plain assholishness and hypocrisy. I have really cut back on my MSNBC viewing. And Colbert and Meyers take way too many days off. I go on Twitter and the stuff just makes me mad and depressed. My outrage meter broke several months ago. I can’t even watch FOX for fun when Trumpov does something exceptionally stupid and indefensible. To top it off I am worried there’s going to be 5 more years of this.
16.
Patricia Kayden
Sigh.
This 11 year old girl was allegedly standing up on the bus and taking too much milk in the cafeteria at lunch.Farmington, NM officer Zachary Christensen has resigned from the police department but there will no criminal charges.She is 11 years old.pic.twitter.com/Lpy5VgCCaS— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) October 23, 2019
That Nancy knows her onions alright. Calm, calculating and completely confident in her competence. It amuses me no end that Donny Slowbrain simply can’t lay a tiny wee finger on her. Come on you greasy stain of a man, stroke out while strangling Dense Pence for insufficient grovelling and give the Lady from Baltimore a year in the hotseat.
18.
MisterForkbeard
I made a big mistake and read some of /r/politics on Reddit. WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF, I’d forgotten how many crazy Trumpsters there are there. The only good thing is that you can look through their comment history easily to see if they’re worth engaging or are blatantly racist, sexist idiots.
Hint: They’re all blatantly racist, sexist idiots.
19.
Mnemosyne
For my fellow mustelid fans who need a respite, there’s an animal refuge where you can swim with small-clawed Asian river otters, which are tiny and adorable:
You have to travel to Louisiana, but I’m almost tempted …
20.
mrmoshpotato
@Mai naem mobile: If you want to somewhat keep up on the shitshow, I recommend Seth Meyers’ A Closer Look segments. But only after subtitles are added, so you can mute when needed.
21.
HumboldtBlue
Well if it’s music you want, let me remind you that the Philadelphia 76ers kick off their NBA campaign against the green bastards from Boston in a moment.
Sleepy now. Feel free to arrest as many Republican performance-artistes as you can humanly manage while I’m a’bed. And notice that’s ‘humanly’, not ‘humanely’. Don’t let me spoil your fun.
23.
MisterForkbeard
For a real piece of respite, I took a few hours off from my fairly brutal job schedule with my new boss and tons of new responsibilities. I used them to have a tea party with my just-turned-five daughter. We pretended to eat beef, ham, pie, and then I went and got us a real soda.
Then we made treats for the cats and let them eat out of our hands. Being a dad is just great.
Come on you greasy stain of a man, stroke out while strangling Dense Pence for insufficient grovelling and give the Lady from Baltimore a year in the hotseat.
@Tony Jay: Night. Thank you for the updates and educating us about the insanity happening.
27.
JoyceH
I posted about this earlier, but for night owls who miss the early morning threads, I’ve published my new book! It’s book 3 of my Regency Mage series, and you can see it here – Mary Bennet and the Beast of Rosings Park For P&P fans, it’s got Mister Collins AND Lady Catherine de Bourgh, PLUS a night marauder with long sharp claws – what’s not to like?
28.
chris
@Tony Jay: Woohoo! I’m almost sorry I quit smoking after that one. Thank you so much!
A cop justifying the use of excessive force by claiming that an 11 year old girl who was a special needs student was stronger than him?
The girl’s mother is suing the police and school.
32.
Ohio Mom
@MisterForkbeard: I get my dose of crazy right-wingers reading the Cincinnati paper. Some days I want to take a red pen and make corrections, and then send it back.
@Tony Jay: But, but, the BBC reporting told me that Boris scored a great victory!!11
:-/
Fabulous screed that has the benefit of being true!
Your countrymen and women are missing out if you don’t have a well-visited home across the pond to post things like this. If that is indeed the case, it needs to be remedied stat!!
Thanks very much.
Cheers,
Scott.
34.
TS (the original)
@Tony Jay: This is such stuff that dreams are made of (to paraphrase a little Shakespeare)
‘If This is Goodby” from that album is insanely good. Inspired by last phone calls on 9/11.
My famous last words
Are laying around in tatters
Sounding absurd
Whatever I try
But I love
And that’s all that really matters
If this is goodbye
If this is goodbye
Your bright shining sun
Would light up the way before me
You were the one
Made me feel I could fly
And I love you
Whatever is waiting for me
If this is goodbye
If this is goodbye
Who knows how long we’ve got
Or what were made out of
Who knows if there’s a plan or not
There is our love
I know there is our love My famous last words
Could never tell the story
Spinning unheard
In the dark of the sky
But I love you
And this is our glory
If this is goodbye
37.
Ohio Mom
@Mandalay: The school should definitely be sued. It is their responsibility (according to federal law) to describe problem behaviors in the IEP and to develop a plan to address the behaviors, including providing the supports needed (for example, an aide) to mitigate those behaviors.
Come on you greasy stain of a man, stroke out while strangling Dense Pence for insufficient grovelling and give the Lady from Baltimore a year in the hotseat.
Oh please, oh please. Exquisite writing as usual, and kudos for recognizing that Nancy D’Allesandro Pelosi is our Baltimore girl.
Playing the “Make the Shark eat the Pirate in a funny way” game with a six-year old beats waiting to see how spineless British politicians can be any old day of the week.
Your kid is going to be one funny/twisted individual, and I mean that in the best.possible.way.
Live for your Brexit updates, if only because misery loves (funny) company.
Can some moderator rescue my (rather long, but heartfelt) comment from not long ago. Please? I started typing post-chris @ 42 and, well, I’m slow. Was mostly complimenting Tony Jay
48.
SectionH
Or not… it was a long comment, and obviously I didn’t have a chance to edit it either…
49.
Uncle Cosmo
@frosty: Single “l”, friend: D’Alesandro. Because if we don’t get it right, who from anywhere else will?
(NB I think she’s saving a little extra “L” to give the Thugs.)
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Mary G
Love them separately and together.
NotMax
Amusing respite: meal merriment.
debbie
Emmylou is a national treasure. She can even make me love Christian hymns.
dmsilev
At about 7:30 this morning, I texted this to my neighbors: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuoKNZjr8_U
(see my comment last night about the great elevator-outage crisis at home. Final total: 3 service visits from elevator techs. 3 separate repair crews from the city power utility, including two brief shutdowns of an entire block, plus a couple of cops to handle traffic because of the powered-off traffic lights, 3 days start to finish.)
NotMax
@dmsilev
If it’s any consolation, elevator in Mom’s building was out of commission for three months shortly after the inspector told the building manager he would no longer be able to sign the placard displayed therein.
dmsilev
@NotMax: Jeez, that’s awful. I was pushing this as fast as I could because a few of my neighbors have restricted mobility and without an elevator they’re either trapped or need another person to help them down the stairs. Three days wasn’t great, but it was survivable. Three months? Wow.
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: “It’s 7:30am. Calm down, Colin.”
J R in WV
These 2 musicians are transcendently gifted, we are blessed with their presence among us. Together the blessing is magnified!
Thanks for sharing.
Tony Jay
++++++++BREXIT NEWS++++++++BREXIT NEWS+++++++++
“THIS OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFETIME”
A bright good day to all you good, good people here on Planet Earth. And what a splendiferous day it is too. It’s all going off with oodles of bish-bang-a-bing-bong, isn’t it? Your own beloved resident president centaur-trotting ever closer to the brink of a fully-fledged nervous breakdown (nice!), the X-Men embarking upon the first polyandrous relationship(s) in mainstream comics (niche!) and over here in the land of rain and roundabouts Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was last-night elevated high into the firmament of God’s favoured children by 329 votes to 299, only to be cast down mere minutes later into an abyss of broken promises and jagged alternatives by 320 votes to 308 (nasty!)
Brexit. Fucking hell.
So, last night we had two votes in Parliament on Skanky Malfoy’s necrotic excuse for a Withdrawal Agreement specifying the terms on which the currently United Kingdom would exit the European Union. One to advance it to a 2nd Reading, at which point it would normally be opened up for amendments and breaking down into constituent clauses that MPs could chew over in Committee. The other to agree a ‘programme order’ for its passage on a much-accelerated timetable, giving MPs only three days in which to complete every stage of passage, pack in every minute of debate and hold every vote. Why so hasty? Well, frankly, because the slovenly fucker doesn’t want anyone reading it. He certainly hasn’t read it, which was proven beyond doubt when he was unable to answer questions about the new Import/Export regime he’d have to impose between Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK asked by his former allies in the DUP (current location: squashed flat under the wheels of Flobalob’s Bus of State) and was reduced to gabbling incoherently that everything was just fine and would always be fine as long as everyone agreed to “Get Brexit Done”.
In truth, nothing was fine, because the Withdrawal Agreement he’d returned to Parliament with is a mess and so chock full of poison pill clauses and contradictory claims the lawyers who drafted Melania’s pre-nup could only look on with wall-eyed respect. Johnson claimed triumphantly that no one had believed he could ever get the EU to remove the Northern Ireland ‘backstop’ provision that had crippled Theresa May’s multiple failed attempts to get a Brexit Deal over the line, but he’d done it. Huzzah for the Great Negotiator, eh? To which multiple commentators hastened to point out that, on the contrary, no one had believed he’d ever get changes to the backstop unless he broke his solemn vow never to capitulate to the EU’s three year old demands for Northern Ireland to have a separate status to the rest of the UK and thus forfeit the DUP’s 10 votes in Parliament. But he did, so he did, and now he actually wanted applause for being a dishonest sell-out? Habit of a lifetime and all that, but surely even he had enough intellectual honesty to appreciate that that wasn’t going to be forthcoming from… oh, right, no, forgot who we were talking about. ‘Intellectual’ and ‘honesty’ are two words notable by their absence from Flobalob’s internal lexicon, their spaces being taken up by variations on the word ‘totty’ and what he’d like to do to it if only she (or a friend) would just come into the bathroom with him for a few minutes.
Nevertheless, the battle-lines were drawn. If Johnson got the 2nd Reading and the curtailed timetable voted through he’d be able to show the EU that he was on his way to forcing a Brexit Deal through Parliament, so they in turn wouldn’t have to offer the UK the deadline extension that he’d been forced to ask for on Saturday night (another broken rung on the ladder of his credibility) and he could still use the threat of a No Deal Brexit to threaten/cajole (depending on their Brextremist leanings) MPs into supporting him, or else. Not content with that, his chief-advisor, Dominic “Unnamed Downing Street Source” Cummings had told the BBC’s ever obsequious Chief Political Stenographer, Laura Kuenssberg, that if MPs refused to agree on his timetable Johnson would immediately yank the entire bill and demand a General Election, a threat aimed straight at the heart of the few not-actually-insane Tory MPs and some “fuck, there’s a lot of scary racists around here isn’t there?” Labour MPs in heavily Leave-voting constituencies. Vote with me or explain to White Van Man and his Angry White Friends why you hate Inger-Land so much. Charming.
When it came to the votes, a nation held its breath and I took a bath. Playing the “Make the Shark eat the Pirate in a funny way” game with a six-year old beats waiting to see how spineless British politicians can be any old day of the week. So, it was only after the event that I saw 19 Labour MPs had broken the Labour whip to vote with the unified Tory Party and a mulch of headbanging Independents to get Johnson’s bill through its 2nd Reading, progressing Brexit further towards the finish line than Theresa May had ever managed. Five of them were no surprise since they were the long-term Brextremist true-believers who’d always voted with May and will still be voting for Brexit even as the dying Earth gets swallowed up in the Sun’s expanding corona. The other fourteen, however, were a mix of cowards who refused to challenge the Leave-voters in their areas, rabid Corbyn-haters with axes to grind, and possibly a handful who saw the Amendment phase as an opportunity to redeem their reputations slightly by adding in a Customs Union provision, for example. Nevertheless, forgive me if I’m blunt, but fuck you all and the backwards, bigoted mules you rode in on. You all voted against Theresa May’s deal at this stage, and at least her bill had the pretense of Worker’s Rights protections that Johnson had just deliberately stripped out of the legally binding Withdrawal Agreement and popped into the non-binding Political Statement folder for later discussion. So I hope you all get deselected by your constituency parties and have to go to work for a living picking chunks of sweetcorn out of horseshit for recycling into Vegan Hotdogs, and when you sit there whining about “intolerance for dissent” and “bullying of moderates”, I hope the unemployed former social-worker with three kids and no house because the Tories cut funding for their local authority and stopped her housing benefits because of a paperwork error sitting next to you at the Job Centre reminds you, forcibly, that you chose to vote against your Party and with the fucking Tories on the most important piece of society-wrecking legislation in British history, so shut the fuck up and eat your ration of dry toast.
On the other hand, they’re mostly anti-Corbyn, so I’m sure there will be a slew of ‘Think Tanks’ and lobby groups willing to reward them for their service to the great cause, if the Guardian doesn’t sign them all up as political columnists first.
After all that, it was with some surprise and a feeling of immense relief that I saw the majority of the Brexit 19 had voted against the programme order, which went down 320 to 308, much along the lines of the Letwin Amendment last week. Okay then, you can have jam on your toast, but you can still fuck off to deselection island and play with the turtles.
What all this meant, in an unnecessarily verbose nutshell, was that while Johnson’s deal could advance to the stage where MPs could start picking it apart with revisions and amendments, it couldn’t be barged through at a breakneck speed. And what this meant was that there was no way for the Bard of Brexit to hit his self-imposed deadline of 31st of October. There would have to be an extension, almost certainly to the end of January next year as specified in the Benn Act, and that would mean No Deal was 99.9% off the table, unusable as a convincing threat, but still very much alive as a propaganda weapon with which Nigel Farage and his foreign-backed Brexit Fighters could beat Flobalob Johnson about the hair and wattle during the now almost inevitable General Election campaign.
It’s always worth bearing in mind, despite the complete blackout on the topic imposed by British political media since Johnson succeeded to the leadership of the Tory Party, that his main attraction to Tory MPs was his Brexit bona fides. Only he had the necessary credibility with the Tory Party’s radicalised base allied to an intense, borderline-abusive relationship with the British Media to “Get Brexit Done” without losing too many right-wing voters to Nigel “Mr Innsmouth 1966” Farage and the Klan Brexit. Every time Johnson has suffered a defeat and set off, goalposts on his back, to establish another implacable red-line in the sand, Farage has indulged in a little stiletto-pointed needling, just enough to remind the 20% to 25% of Tory voters who are actually Brexit Partei entryists who the real Big Frog is on the Brexit Log, while not enough to stir the British Media into a counter-strike against their louche lothario’s tormentor.
But if Johnson fails at his task so utterly that he has to enter a General Election campaign relying on the easily dismantled claim that only he can ‘deliver’ the Brexit that Leavers voted for…. Farage is going to split him open from paunch to perineum and bathe in his pox-riddled blood. Unless the billionaire backers of Brexit hold him back to prevent a Labour victory (possible) Farage can have a field-day exposing the Tory Party as the incompetent Establishment self-abusers they in fact are and chew them up from the Right like, well, like Donald Trump through a field of Republican Presidential candidates. Farage, you see, doesn’t really – want – Brexit. There’s no money or perks or media exposure in him actually winning (see Farage, Nigel: 2016 to 2019), but the campaign, the crusade, the long, neverending story of one man’s brave struggle to free his country from the bonds of treason, occupation and collaboration… My God! There’s gold in them there shills, boy! Crucify Johnson, split the Leave vote, pin all the blame for Remain victory on the Tories, and he gets to emerge as the leader of the Endless Opposition to European Union membership, maybe even with a seat in Parliament, if he can finally get one.
But that’s for the future. At present Johnson’s bill is officially ‘in limbo’ and going nowhere without buy-in from other Parties (of which, chances are properly fat). Both the Scottish and Welsh Nationalist Parties have officially informed the EU that their devolved assemblies withhold consent from any arrangement Johnson tries to work out, which actually kicks a few rungs out from under his claim to be speaking for the entire United Kingdom. An anonymous civil servant working on Operation Yellowhammer, the notorious Government planning assessment for how the country would deal with a No Deal Brexit, has given an interview with the Guardian in which they say:
“Heaven help us if no deal actually happens. Because, even with the best efforts of civil servants like me, Operation Yellowhammer won’t be enough, even with its enormous price tag. Not even close. And while – outrageously – there won’t be any economic analysis prepared by the government on the impact of the new deal, we already know – thanks to Office for Budget Responsibility forecasts – that the impact of no deal will make the £6.3bn spent this year on no-deal planning look like peanuts.”
Johnson invited Corbyn, his chief advisor and the Labour Chief Whip to a talk this morning on maybe working out a deal on the timetable, which sent the Circle-Jerk of Conservative Party trolls who infest the Guardian comment threads into an hour long onanistic flurry of “Betrayer!” and “Selling out Remain!” taunts before Prime Minister’s Question Time began (a rarity, since Johnson normally dodges these) and it turned out Labour had (shock horror) no fucks left to give for Johnson’s flaming Hindenberg of a Deal and just wanted to get the length and Government acceptance of an extension nailed down before getting its Election war-paint on.
Where do we go now? Well, the bad-guys are still bad-guys, so we should expect them to try and do bad things if only to win propaganda victories in the Media, but I see it only a few credible alternatives. Johnson promised an Election if his timetable was voted down, and though he’s backtracked from that like a Nicholas Brother in full 1920s funk-mode, that’s where we’re going. He could try and force an election with a One Line Bill that Parliament could vote on saying roughly “Notwithstanding the Fixed term Elections Act, let’s boogie”, but that would be amendable before passage, and Aged Tory Grandee Ken Clarke has already said he’d put forward an amendment lowering the voting age to 16, which would add millions of Remain voters to the electorate (but you still just voted with Johnson twice, didn’t you? You fucking Tory fake) so there’s no way they’re doing that.
Johnson could simply table a motion for 2/3 of the House to vote for a General Election, but that might run the risk of Johnson fucking with the election dates after Parliament has been dissolved for the Election. It would depend very much on what kind of extension the EU offers. Too short and we’re back in the slurry with Johnson demanding an Election and the Opposition not trusting him with the date unless he signs something legally binding. If it’s January 31st it’s hard to see how this minority Government slopes on past Christmas without Labour calling a Vote of No Confidence on them. After all, people are dying under this Government’s austerity, and if Johnson would order his MPs to join with Labour in making it happen…. We’ll find out very soon, I think.
Can’t wait. This is the only way Brexit gets done, and I mean that in the most violently fatal way possible. Oh, and while we’re waiting, here’s an interesting article by Peter Oborne, a former telegraph and current Daily Mail writer (so hardly a crazed Corbynite Leftist) on the sad state of modern British media and its slavish relationship to Johnson’s regime.
Enjoy Infrastructure Week!
Jeffro
Would love to see him sometime, but whew, last tour those tickets were EXPENSIVE!
I was actually thinking about a sort of “never seen/wanna see in 2020” concert list earlier today…it’s not too long (yet!)
Seeing Avett Bros next week, that should be fun. =)
NotMax
@Tony Jay
If no one else has yet used The Corbynite Maneuver for something involving the Brexit bollix, go for it.
;)
(Original ref.)
Sab
@NotMax: Elevator in my dad’s nursing home was out for ten days. They were having to hike the meals up the stairs two at a time instead of sending the tray cart up the elevator! And none of the staff quit. Angels or saints, whichever.
Mary G
@Tony Jay: ??????
You really are a respite. At least we have Nancy Smash.
Tony Jay
@NotMax:
Having it. Loving it.
Mai naem mobile
I love Emmylou Harris and Mark Knopfler and I love this song. They both have good distinctive voices.
I honestly can’t handle any more of Trumpov. I know that’s what Steve Bannon is aiming for but I just can’t deal with the crap they pull, his voice drives me nuts and just their plain assholishness and hypocrisy. I have really cut back on my MSNBC viewing. And Colbert and Meyers take way too many days off. I go on Twitter and the stuff just makes me mad and depressed. My outrage meter broke several months ago. I can’t even watch FOX for fun when Trumpov does something exceptionally stupid and indefensible. To top it off I am worried there’s going to be 5 more years of this.
Patricia Kayden
Sigh.
Tony Jay
@Mary G:
That Nancy knows her onions alright. Calm, calculating and completely confident in her competence. It amuses me no end that Donny Slowbrain simply can’t lay a tiny wee finger on her. Come on you greasy stain of a man, stroke out while strangling Dense Pence for insufficient grovelling and give the Lady from Baltimore a year in the hotseat.
MisterForkbeard
I made a big mistake and read some of /r/politics on Reddit. WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF, I’d forgotten how many crazy Trumpsters there are there. The only good thing is that you can look through their comment history easily to see if they’re worth engaging or are blatantly racist, sexist idiots.
Hint: They’re all blatantly racist, sexist idiots.
Mnemosyne
For my fellow mustelid fans who need a respite, there’s an animal refuge where you can swim with small-clawed Asian river otters, which are tiny and adorable:
https://www.boredpanda.com/swim-with-otters-barn-hill-preserve-louisiana/
You have to travel to Louisiana, but I’m almost tempted …
mrmoshpotato
@Mai naem mobile: If you want to somewhat keep up on the shitshow, I recommend Seth Meyers’ A Closer Look segments. But only after subtitles are added, so you can mute when needed.
HumboldtBlue
Well if it’s music you want, let me remind you that the Philadelphia 76ers kick off their NBA campaign against the green bastards from Boston in a moment.
Go Sixers! Clap your hands, everybody!
Tony Jay
Sleepy now. Feel free to arrest as many Republican performance-artistes as you can humanly manage while I’m a’bed. And notice that’s ‘humanly’, not ‘humanely’. Don’t let me spoil your fun.
MisterForkbeard
For a real piece of respite, I took a few hours off from my fairly brutal job schedule with my new boss and tons of new responsibilities. I used them to have a tea party with my just-turned-five daughter. We pretended to eat beef, ham, pie, and then I went and got us a real soda.
Then we made treats for the cats and let them eat out of our hands. Being a dad is just great.
mrmoshpotato
@Tony Jay:
You have a way with words, sir. :)
HumboldtBlue
@Mary G:
I believe it was you who posted about Duluwat Island yesterday, here’s a very good article on the impact.
JPL
@Tony Jay: Night. Thank you for the updates and educating us about the insanity happening.
JoyceH
I posted about this earlier, but for night owls who miss the early morning threads, I’ve published my new book! It’s book 3 of my Regency Mage series, and you can see it here – Mary Bennet and the Beast of Rosings Park For P&P fans, it’s got Mister Collins AND Lady Catherine de Bourgh, PLUS a night marauder with long sharp claws – what’s not to like?
chris
@Tony Jay: Woohoo! I’m almost sorry I quit smoking after that one. Thank you so much!
oatler.
@NotMax: “We were at the Academy together.”
LuciaMia
‘Duck Soup’ on TCM tonight. Can we replace Trump with Rufus T. Firefly? He’d be less desturctive.
Mandalay
@Patricia Kayden: Wow. That was tough to watch.
This is what the cop stated in his report:
A cop justifying the use of excessive force by claiming that an 11 year old girl who was a special needs student was stronger than him?
The girl’s mother is suing the police and school.
Ohio Mom
@MisterForkbeard: I get my dose of crazy right-wingers reading the Cincinnati paper. Some days I want to take a red pen and make corrections, and then send it back.
@JoyceH: Congrats!
Another Scott
@Tony Jay: But, but, the BBC reporting told me that Boris scored a great victory!!11
:-/
Fabulous screed that has the benefit of being true!
Your countrymen and women are missing out if you don’t have a well-visited home across the pond to post things like this. If that is indeed the case, it needs to be remedied stat!!
Thanks very much.
Cheers,
Scott.
TS (the original)
@Tony Jay: This is such stuff that dreams are made of (to paraphrase a little Shakespeare)
Mary G
A Venn Diagram for the ages:
RAVEN
‘If This is Goodby” from that album is insanely good. Inspired by last phone calls on 9/11.
My famous last words
Are laying around in tatters
Sounding absurd
Whatever I try
But I love
And that’s all that really matters
If this is goodbye
If this is goodbye
Your bright shining sun
Would light up the way before me
You were the one
Made me feel I could fly
And I love you
Whatever is waiting for me
If this is goodbye
If this is goodbye
Who knows how long we’ve got
Or what were made out of
Who knows if there’s a plan or not
There is our love
I know there is our love
My famous last words
Could never tell the story
Spinning unheard
In the dark of the sky
But I love you
And this is our glory
If this is goodbye
Ohio Mom
@Mandalay: The school should definitely be sued. It is their responsibility (according to federal law) to describe problem behaviors in the IEP and to develop a plan to address the behaviors, including providing the supports needed (for example, an aide) to mitigate those behaviors.
Sign me, Veteran of 17 years of IEP meetings
BruceFromOhio
@Mary G: This, absolutely.
Ohio Mom
@Mai naem mobile: Take all the breaks you need, the bottom line is showing up to vote. Which I am sure you always do.
Patricia Kayden
frosty
@Tony Jay:
Oh please, oh please. Exquisite writing as usual, and kudos for recognizing that Nancy D’Allesandro Pelosi is our Baltimore girl.
chris
@Mary G:
TS (the original)
Heartbreaking discussion on Chris Hayes at the minute – re the Kurds and trump giving them to Turkey.
mrmoshpotato
@LuciaMia: Insults would be better too. Poor Mrs. Teasdale!
Miss Bianca
@Tony Jay:
Your kid is going to be one funny/twisted individual, and I mean that in the best.possible.way.
Live for your Brexit updates, if only because misery loves (funny) company.
Miss Bianca
@LuciaMia: And funnier.
SectionH
Can some moderator rescue my (rather long, but heartfelt) comment from not long ago. Please? I started typing post-chris @ 42 and, well, I’m slow. Was mostly complimenting Tony Jay
SectionH
Or not… it was a long comment, and obviously I didn’t have a chance to edit it either…
Uncle Cosmo
@frosty: Single “l”, friend: D’Alesandro. Because if we don’t get it right, who from anywhere else will?
(NB I think she’s saving a little extra “L” to give the Thugs.)