Here goes:
First and foremost, Balloon Juice is a community, so our commenting policy is a combination of objective standards as well as some more subjective community standards for decency. So while there will be some very clear lines over which not to cross, there will also be some fuzzy areas that we will deal with when we get to them. It’s not a black and white world, and this is a liberal blog, so you will just have to deal with some nuance.
Punishments:
First Offense: 3 day timeout
Second Offense: 1 week timeout
Third offense: 1 month timeout
Beyond that- Banned.Things that will get you an immediate timeout:
1.) Any of the ism’s- sexism, racism, homophobic outbursts, targeting marginalized groups, etc. We’re not going to put up with personal attacks beyond a joking nature, nor will we tolerate targeted harassment of commenters. Take your shit somewhere else.
2.) Explicit calls for violence. Obviously things said in jest such as “guillotines” or nonsense like that are recognized for the hyperbole they are. But direct, actionable threats or calls for violence are out, for obvious reasons.
3.) Targeted harassment of other commenters or front pagers.
4.) Posting links to inappropriate websites, or sites that compromise a user’s security.
5.) Divulging personal information about a commenter or front pager (real name, address, place of work, etc.)
6.) I am sure you idiots will think of something else so I will just leave this here.Things you should avoid that may lead to punishment:
1.) Just generally being a no life asshole who derails every thread with your own personal hobby horse. Yes, we have the pie filter, but some people don’t like to use it. They shouldn’t have to suffer because some idiot has come in and posted 75 comments on an 80 comment thread that has nothing to do with the original post.
2.) Repeated attempts to derail a conversation. Unlike yours truly, we have actual experts here- Adam, Cheryl, Dave, and others are good at what they do. Weare lucky to have them. When they are trying to have a serious conversation and you are just trolling or being a jerk, you take away from the rest of us. You are stealing a valuable asset- their time and wisdom. It’s selfish, irritating, and I don’t want to see it.
3.) Again, left blank here for other things you all will inevitably come up with.Process for Bans:
If you have been flagged for inappropriate behavior, one of the front pagers will spam your comment. Once that has been done, they will email me, give me a link, and I will figure out what to do. I will consult with them, but I will have the final say, so direct your venom and incoherent tweets and emails at me.A Closing Note:
I absolutely hate that I even have to have these policies, but there it is. I don’t expect it will be too big of a problem, because most of the people self select out and go somewhere else where their nonsense is appreciated (reddit incel forums? Red State? Who knows? Who cares?)
For the most part, you are free to talk about whatever you want. Just don’t be a dick. Treat people decently (I’d say treat them the way you want to be treated but I know some of you self-loathing idiots will take advantage of that), and you will find that people will be good to you in return. A lot of us have known each other for a good long while. We want new people to feel the same way. This is a community. Treat it like one.
This is subject to editing and changes.
Patricia Kayden
This doesn’t appear to be a very contentious blog so hopefully it will stay that way. Thanks to John and the other Frontpagers for an oasis of good politics, recipes and pet talk.
FelonyGovt
Seems very fair and reasonable.
hells littlest angel
Fair enough. But I wouldn’t want the job of deciding what is or isn’t a jest.
Raven
Say what?
Ben Cisco
I know you hated to do this, but good work, Cole. This is a solid framework, and well within reason.
604dman
Just a test with a song link
Take Back the Power
https://youtu.be/q7Ol-YDS4Jc
Edit just to test. ?
geg6
Oh, fuck off, Cole. ?
Sounds like a good common sense set of policies.
hueyplong
I hear there may be over 10,000 other options for people who can’t abide these rules.
Omnes Omnibus
If I may offer a suggestion…. You might want to give a warning to people doing the things to avoid before dumping them in the sin bin.
People sometimes get a little overwrought and may not notice that they are overstepping.
Jay
Gluon1, semi-competent lurker
Totally solid policy well expressed.
FYI that this came up blank beneath the header in Safari out of Twitter for me. No idea if this is my fault or helpful.
justawriter
David Gerrold (of Star Trek tribble fame) uses a trebuchet to eject obnoxious commenters from his site. Can we have one of those?
Roger Moore
A wise policy. Some asshole will always see a list of possible offenses as a challenge.
Raven
The Sanity Clause. . .
Cathie from Canada
Good rules.
Shorter: don’t be an asshole
laura
I guess i should feel bad about suggesting we grease the guillotine with the ceamy fat of Lloyd Blankfein earlier today- though i did not suspect it would violate a communty standard.
And yet, I’ll own that statement and take any consequences deemed appropriate by the blogmaster.
Also, the new shiny blog is beautiful and im grateful to all who made it so.
Baud
We want new people?
JaySinWA
@Omnes Omnibus: That generally happens now I believe, with most front pagers. By the time it gets to Cole, things have usually gone to hell. I am not sure it needs to be explicit.
Roger Moore
@Omnes Omnibus:
That’s why there’s a timeout for the first few offenses rather than a permanent ban.
Raven
Um ” Obviously things said in jest such as “guillotines” or nonsense like that are recognized for the hyperbole they are.”
Quaker in a Basement
Well considered and well stated, JC. I support this policy.
Butter Emails
Just go with it.
kindness
Good post. Shouldn’t have to be said but….well, the era is funny let’s just say.
JaySinWA
Wasn’t that a short SF story about retroactive abortions of kids that couldn’t learn algebra?
Baud
guillotines!
Patricia Kayden
And if they don’t agree to pay 500% more, then what? He’s going to abandon them to the whims of North Korea? Does he understand that the money won’t go into his personal bank account?
RSA
You’re a good man, John Cole.
@Patricia Kayden:
This made me laugh out loud. Nice.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus: I was thinking the same thing, I know Adam on occasion does say to tone it down, that seems like a good warning.
Raven
You can’t fool me, there ain’t no sanity clause
Yutsano
Like he would ever ban you.
Am also out of ICU and (Hopefully) done with hospitals for a while.
Jay
@Patricia Kayden:
yup, to #1…
nope, to #2…
?BillinGlendaleCA
John, you forgot to tell us that you hate us all and to fuck off.
Just One More Canuck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGErt4CfLD0
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Raven: You must be new here, there’s no sanity here.
Aleta
@Baud: Try that in magenta, see how funny it is.
Roger Moore
@Patricia Kayden:
You’re only hearing about the public statement. Privately, he’s sending Giuliani to tell them he’ll back down in exchange for a hefty bribe and/or a promise to manufacture dirt about the Democratic nominee.
The worst part about this comment is that I don’t know if it’s snarky or prophetic.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Yutsano: Ah, good to hear.
Jay
Olga Lautman @olgaNYC1211 · 6h @HouseIntel needs to look into this
Just One More Canuck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGErt4CfLD0
MomSense
Wait, what happened?! I hate hearing that you were in the ICU.
I hope you are on the mend and feeling much better.
schrodingers_cat
What constitutes targeted harassment?
Raven
Like when I bug you for dissin’ the military!
bluehill
Trump Towers Seoul can’t be too far off.
schrodingers_cat
I have been accused of being a hectoring bully.
How was your birthday celebration?
Felanius Kootea
Seems fair but consider all the people genuinely suffering from a Trump-induced agita since his election.
They too need to vent on a top 9,900 blog ;-).
In all seriousness, I’m glad you laid this out because the way certain front pagers and commenters have essentially been harassed off the blog never sat right with me.
Back to lurking.
--bd
Raven
@schrodingers_cat: Nah, you are just committed!
The party was really nice. About 100 folks came, the food was great and the music was just right!
thanks
--bd
Adam L Silverman
@Baud: Especially if they’re wearing pants!
Jay
https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/blogs/stateline/2019/11/12/states-hold-onto-federal-dollars-meant-for-needy-families?amp=1&utm_campaign=2019-11-12%20SD&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Pew&__twitter_impression=true
Felanius Kootea
@schrodingers_cat: The kind of racist invective that led ABL, etc., to vamoose from the blog, in my view.
I recall John mentioning having to read odious messages trapped in a filter that didn’t even make it to public view (in addition to the ones that did appear for everyone to see).
We can all occasionally have intemperate speech but there’s just a special kind of troll that ruins everything for everyone.
ThresherK
Phew. I was wondering if we were losing our Marxian collective wit.
Mai naem mobile
@Baud: if you want to succeed with Baud2020 you better hope for new people.
NotMax
No running with scissors.
Nor with chainsaws, for that matter.
;)
?BillinGlendaleCA
@MomSense: Well if he’s getting out of the hospital and is still commenting, I look at that as a positive sign.
Nicole
@RSA:
And yet, it’s true! I spent years on a niche sports site but finally realized that I didn’t HAVE to spend time on a site where I got sexually harassing messages from one of the members. People can be AWFUL on the internet. B-J is… polite, all things considered. Props to Cole for running a politics-based blog for almost 20 years now that is filled with profanity, and yet pretty kind, for all that.
Mai naem mobile
@ThresherK: as long as I am getting my Soros money I will continue with my Marxian wit.
jeffreyw
@justawriter: Airlock ’em. I hear that is effective.
Adam L Silverman
@Patricia Kayden: He’ll order that US Forces Korea case its colors and pull all 30,000 or so US military personnel and the 10,000 or so US civilian personnel working for/with US Forces Korea. This would be the biggest gift to Kim and the DPRK possible. It is essentially stating: “we’re no longer going to bother with the armistice, because we’re unilaterally surrendering the peninsula to you”.
Dan B
@Yutsano: Glad to hear you are out of hospital! Will you be able to sleep without all the dings, and slooshes, and mechanical noises? And the nurses at all hours?
Raven
@jeffreyw: You’ve been a commenting machine lately!
schrodingers_cat
There are temples in south India where you can’t wear pants. Not kidding. If you are wearing pants you have to change or are not allowed inside.
Ruckus
Sounds like a reasonable process.
Kraux Pas
He’s working on it.
trollhattan
[rolls up sleeves]
I object!
[objection to be delineated later]
Jay
Mack Lamoureux @MackLamoureux · 10h Neo-Nazi accelerationist groups like The Base have been gaming meme websites, mainly iFunny, in order to recruit members. It’s been working. Here’s our story.
Mnemosyne
On my personal blog (which was WAY smaller than this one), my commenting rules were:
1. I am the sole arbiter of what can be posted.
2. See Rule 1.
But if I’d ever had more than 20 or 30 readers, I would have had to stop approving all comments myself.
LanceThruster
Works for me. Testing the waters was a bit stressful. Mostly dropped by just to show the colors. There’s more than a few contentious issues that I see things 180° from others here, and think there are facts that back that up, resident experts notwithstanding. Now that I’ve confirmed that my posting privileges are back, I’ll probabably only drop by now and then to weigh in on the bigger stories near and dear to me. On those comments of mine that were entirely copasetic, I got no respinses at all. I thought the open letter in the ruemara welcome thread to the people of Palestine was most heartwarming.
Thanks for letting my share thoughts and views here. See you around.
Mnemosyne
@Yutsano:
Yay! Hopefully your stomach will heal well and quickly. Was it the long-term NSAIDs, or something else?
Ruckus
@Yutsano:
Good to hear. I always like being checked out of the hospital.
Hope that everything is good or at least getting a lot better.
I do end up at the VA hospital a lot more than seems reasonable though because a lot of my outpatient care, like all of it, I get at the hospital. This week, next week, it’s almost like I work there.
Avalune
No targeting commenters? (Read Leto) No Trolling? (Again read Leto). No derailing discussion? (Unless it’s about Leto)… Wonder if I can make a troll Leto subreddit…
NotMax
@Kraux Pas
Betsy DeVos must have slipped him her brother Erik’s rate sheet.
jeffreyw
@Raven: I love the challenge, plus it’s cold outside!
Mike J
Fax my credenza!
Jay
@schrodingers_cat:
In Indonesia it is considered offensive to wear shorts or pants into a Hindu Temple. Sarongs are polite.
I am not sure how much of this is religious tradition, anti-colonialism or a reaction to Indonesian Muslim Nationalists.
Raven
Yea, those birds looked cold.
Adam L Silverman
@schrodingers_cat: Are those dedicated to the Baudidarma?//
Mnemosyne
@Nicole:
When a past troll who shall not be named was emailing me through my blog to say that he’d been banhammered, he was strangely polite and non-harassing about it. Even the regulars who are trolls are nicer here!
(Yes, it was BiP.)
justawriter
Nope, it was about using Santa to suppress children’s psychic abilities. (It’s True. https://books.google.com/books?id=Gv5PCgAAQBAJ&lpg=PA308&ots=m2d6bGE43e&dq=%22ho%20ho%20ho%20chi%20minh%22%20sanity&pg=PA304#v=onepage&q=publishhed&f=false )
Raven
The birds looked cold.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@schrodingers_cat: Ah the Baudist temples of South India.
Omnes Omnibus
BiP was an Elvis Costello fan so he couldn’t have been all bad.
Dan B
@Nicole: Not only are the FP’s and Jackals polite, and kind (it’s a four letter word after all, like the way Randy Rainbow is kind…) but the comments are often as illuminating as the post. I don’t know of another blog that has so much finely tuned snark, genuine emotion, and breadth of wisdom and knowledge. The diversity is pretty good and with Ruemara promises to get better.
schrodingers_cat
No idea. I was just visiting. The South is more religious and conservative than where my family is from. I thought it was odd.
In Maharashtra no one cares. You have to leave your shoes outside that’s all.
NotMax
@Jay
But wear only one.
Two sarongs do not make a rite.
trollhattan
schrodingers_cat
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
@Adam L Silverman:
Indeed. Jay Shree Baud.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: This is your first and only warning.//
Jay
Kacper Rekawek @KacperRekawek · 8h Ok, some news. #Poland arrests two who allegedly prepared a #Breivik #Christchurch attack. Buried beneath this is that one had a link to an alleged plot to bomb the parliament back in 2012.
RSA
@Nicole: You (and Patricia Kayden) are correct as well, of course.
Martin
What good is an army if you can’t turn a profit on it?
In other idiocy…
If I was in high school in Ohio, I’d found a religion that disavowed odd numbers and vowels
[edit] I take that back. Disavow consonants so they can only give me ‘A’s as the other letter grades don’t exist.
Jay
@NotMax:
groan,……
trollhattan
Was his picture in the paper being rhythmically admired?
[Possibly best opening lyric of any debut album.]
jeffreyw
@Martin: Irregular verbs, for sure.
Villago Delenda Est
Rule number six: there is no rule number six.
Villago Delenda Est
I never use the G word. I talk about tumbrel rides.
Jay
Jennifer Bendery @jbendery · 3h Oh man. Anti-Kavanaugh protesters are shouting “I believe Dr. Ford! I believe Anita Hill!” right in the faces of Federalist Society members as they’re stuck waiting in line for their gala to start. For who knows how long. #awkward
Gin & Tonic
@Mnemosyne: Polite? BiP? Maybe in e-mail, but he called me a Nazi here in the comments.
Villago Delenda Est
@Martin: For example, those members of the Ohio House who passed that moranic law need to be put on tumbrels for “processing.”
HeleninEire
tl/dr:
Can I say Fuck??%
FlyingToaster
https://www.youtube.com/embed/b7eQNcZxEM0?start=2298&end=2327
If you’re talking about Sanity Clauses…
J R in WV
@Patricia Kayden:
You haven’t been here very much for very long, have you?
Can be raw naked contention here with old fellow commenters~!!~
trollhattan
Only in a charming accent.
Well?
Yutsano
I’m an old band kid. I really can sleep anywhere.
What was bad was the hospital and EMT staff who recognised me from the last visit. Maybe I should see if there’s a frequent discount club.
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
That’s atrocious. I salute you!
Villago Delenda Est
@Adam L Silverman: Kim will get what he’s been demanding. The “de-nuclearizaton” of the entire peninsula.
Then the order to roll is issued.
Another Scott
It seems like a good list, thanks.
But I agree with OO that some sort of warning should be available too.
Also, I don’t want to name names, but some of our present and departed old friends can be very, very gruff at times. And I’m haunted by seeing an online conversation long ago where one participant thought he was doing some good-natured picking-on and the recipient was not in the frame of mind to take it that way at all. Both were regulars with a long history at the site, but even then there was a misunderstanding of the boundaries, and the consequences were tragic… :-(
I don’t know where the line is; “don’t be an asshole” covers a lot but maybe not quite enough. We really don’t know who’s on the other side of the screen.
Thanks for making this place for us, JC.
Cheers,
Scott.
Central Planning
Can I get a list of those websites? You know, for research. Unless they are ones like fox news, red state, town hall…
Adam L Silverman
@Villago Delenda Est: Yep. And we will have betrayed and abandoned another ally.
Elizabelle
I see the pie filter works, but I miss all the cute pie sayings. Some of them were hilarious.
Stan
Maybe it’s better that guillotines, pitchforks, etc. are banned too? Yeah, it’s “hyperbole” but, (1) is it? and (2) is it really “obvious?”
I mean, yeah, we are in a crisis and people get worked up. That’s to be expected. But talk of guillotines can never really be helpful, whatever the stakes.
David ??Booooooo?? Koch
Phew!
I can live with this.
At least it’s not “no shoes, no socks, no service”
That would have been impossible to live with
Fourten
Am I here
Raven
Bah.
Adam L Silverman
@David ??Booooooo?? Koch: Socks with sandals will get you banned. With no warnings.
TS (the original)
@Adam L Silverman:
And befriended yet another dictator.
Miss Bianca
@Jay:Fuck. There it is – mercenaries for hire. Adam warned us.
Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)
@Elizabelle: We learned in Watergirl’s tour earlier today, that if you click on the cherry tart and open the pie filter dialog box, then setting you can select the pie sayings instead of pictures.
Omnes Omnibus
@Adam L Silverman: Duh.
Adam L Silverman
@Miss Bianca: You people never listen! And, frankly, I’m sick of it!//
jl
What constitutes targeted harassment?
@schrodingers_cat: “What constitutes targeted harassment?”
We can’t make fun of Cole anymore?
Dan B
@Villago Delenda Est: I was a Buckeye, Akron area, for the first 20 years of my life. The public schools were very good. The GOP hated unions, helped factories move to right to work states and later out of the US This devastated the hundreds of small cities that had a factory. Rural folks blamed liberals. Now there seem to be christianists that will render a high school diploma suspect.
My cousin sent a diagram of the solar system suitable for a textbook. Every planet was round except the earth. It was flat.
Who will be envious of Ohio? I have some guesses.
Oh, and the Reply is wonky. The dialogue box is to the right of the comment sorta off the page. And the number 1. is at the bottom of the comment box. Mobile Samsung Android
dexwood
What the ever loving fuck, Cole. are you advocating common sense?!
Elizabelle
@ Mike S:
Thank you.
And delighted to see you have a Democratic congressperson. It’s a good feeling, innit?
Barbara
SC: You stand up for yourself without demeaning others or engaging in ad hominem attacks.
Sally
Love the new site, thanks to all whose hard work made it possible.
schrodingers_cat
@Gin & Tonic: He called me a CIA agent or something to that effect.
(((CassandraLeo)))
These look good to me, apart from a typo: “Weare” in #2 of the “Things to avoid” should be “We are”. Proofreading is literally about 20% of my job (and at least another 30% is basically whatever the audio transcription equivalent of that is), so I feel compelled to make note of it. Overall, these rules are well thought out and well written, and I can’t see any problems with them.
Ceterum censeo factionem Republicanam esse delendam.
lowtechcyclist
You can’t fool me, there ain’t no Sanity Clause.
– Chico Marx
Miss Bianca
@Mnemosyne: BiP emailed you *on your blog* to say he’d been banhammered here?!
Good God Almighty, I don’t know whether to laugh or scream into my pillow at the thought!
schrodingers_cat
@Barbara: Thanks.
Miss Bianca
@Adam L Silverman: I’m sorry, what did you say? I promise I’ll pay attention this time. //
Martin
It probably sounded nicer in the original russian.
Barbara
@Another Scott: Don’t make people your verbal punching bag when having a bad day. I try to sign off when things get too heated but that’s harder than it seems like it should be.
chopper
i was a nazi and a homophobe. or a homophone, still can’t remember.
Dan B
@Adam L Silverman: I was trying to think of another ally that would be feeling concerned about US support being pulled. But we’ve got a couple hot spots: Kurds, Hong Kong, South Korea. Is Colombia going to go the way of Brazil and Equador, not directly targeted but somewhat abandoned to right wing Christian millionaires?
Then I frlt reassured that we’re building a wall on the southern border. It will slow down the US invasion. Oh, nevermind. We can fly over and sail around. How about Canada? Should the Canadians be nervous?
The GOP is the worst tragicomedy.
Cacti
@Martin:
Would have saved me a lot of heartburn on math tests if I could have just answered:
x = Jesus
Spanky
That’s redundant, since making changes is editing. You might want to change that. Or edit it.
Kamala.Harris.2020
“1.) Any of the ism’s- sexism, racism, homophobic outbursts, targeting marginalized groups, etc. We’re not going to put up with personal attacks beyond a joking nature, nor will we tolerate targeted harassment of commenters. Take your shit somewhere else.”
Do racism and sexism include repeatedly referring to people as “white males” count as racism or sexism?
I mean I love the repeated (and oh so clever) formulation so often employed by certain front-pagers and I just want to make sure that I can join in as a commenter.
Thanks.
dmsilev
One suggestion I’ll float: some transparency into the process. Maybe not for the first two warnings, but for people who make it to the third warning and the final ban, some way of communicating to the rest of us that some commenter is on a long timeout/has been banned might be helpful particularly for excessively contentious/abusive behavior.
Could be a net negative as well (such an announcement easily could itself spark arguments), but maybe worth thinking about.
Martin
I volunteer to be a proxy for any references to mediocre white men, if needed.
Dan B
Although the commenting dialogue box is suddenly very wonky. The entire post and comments are covered in a translucent dark gray. The box is wider than the screen. It’s off to the side and below your comment. And I have to enlarge to fit it into the screen then reduce to get to Post Comment.
And you might see the misalignment of the left side indent. Samsung Mobile Android
Omnes Omnibus
@Kamala.Harris.2020: Just off hand, how are white males marginalized? Okay, no one wants to see me dance, but I don’t think that counts.
Martin
@dmsilev I would be tempted to have a ‘timeout’ tab in the pie filter of people on the 3rd (or maybe 2nd) timeout. That would give you a place to see why someone vanished. It would also make it easier for people offended by those in timeout to filter them if they wanted.
Kraux Pas
@Kamala.Harris.2020:
Depends. Are the people in question white males? Is their race meaningful with respect to what is being discussed? Do these white males show identitarian proclivities?
Context matters my trollish friend.
debbie
@Yutsano:
Great news!
Central Planning
@Adam L Silverman: I agree. Another reason to ban people: low-cut socks with dress shoes/pants.
Martin
@Omnes Omnibus: I don’t think one needs to be marginalized to be stereotyped.
Ok, Boomer?
debbie
@Martin:
It will be interesting to see if that is extended to the students who are atheists. I’d bet not.
Leto
The Darwin Awards are full of those types. They don’t seem to be running out of successful candidates.
Jay
hend amry @LibyaLiberty · 10h IS PIZAZZ A KIND OF PASTA WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT I DONT EAT FOREIGN FOOD
Omnes Omnibus
@Martin: Do you want to see me dance?
Leto
@debbie: Avalune originally hails from Ohio, and when I read that I turned to her and said, “What the hell is wrong with your state???” We both do this quite often, as I’m originally from SC, but it’d be really nice if we could stop.
O. Felix Culpa
@Omnes Omnibus: Love you, but no.
JaySinWA
@Martin:
Aspiring to mediocrity?
J R in WV
@Omnes Omnibus:
I’m pretty sure he was NOT telling the truth about that~!!~
Dan B
Debbie;
I’d like to see how this goes over in Jesuit schools. -Darwin was a satanic atheist!!- might not fly.
And there will surely be students objecting to math due to Al Gebra and Muslim numbers.
Fun times ahead!
Omnes Omnibus
@O. Felix Culpa: That’s all I’m saying.
David ??Booooooo?? Koch
The NRA tweeted out attacks of Elizabeth Warren, Kamala, and Biden today.
Oddly enough they didn’t attack Wilmer.
I’m sure it was just an oversight.
Avalune
I kind of wish I could attach a photo with this fancy new box. The amount of sputtering going on next to me is worthy of capture.
Austin Bailey
Great new look. My go to site every morning. New face, same great content.
J R in WV
@Villago Delenda Est:
“I never use the G word. I talk about tumbrel rides.”
I have trouble speling the G word…. And if you don’t have a clue, spell check isn’t much help!!!!!
Jay
Newsweek @Newsweek Three judges suspended after drunken White Castle gunfight
the Harold and Kumar sequel looks interesting,….
West of the Rockies
First rule of Balloon Juice…
You know the rest.
Leto
@Yutsano: Just now reading through comments but saw this: oh man, don’t know what happened but I’m glad you’re out!
You and me both! :)
Martin
Aspiring? I think I’ve mastered mediocrity.
Miss Bianca
@debbie: Or Satanists. Can it apply to process, too? “I know that cheating’s supposed to be wrong, but…The Devil Made Me Do It, so what are *you* gonna do about it?”
Kelly
There’s a great old joke that applies here. I think it was Gallagher. When you get you drivers license they issue you a dart gun with three shots. The darts can only be removed by a judge. If another driver behaves rudely you shoot a dart onto the rudenicks car. If you have three or more darts stuck to your car the cops pull you over and give you a ticket for being an asshole.
Jay
Shehla Rashid شہلا رشید @Shehla_Rashid · 8h “Even if Narendra Modi is bad for democracy, they say, his pro-business philosophy is good for the economy. But, as our special report argues, that argument no longer washes. India’s economy is incompetently managed and doing badly.”
SFAW
@NotMax:
Puns are THE LOWEST form of humor. I’ll give you an hour to stop that. No more than two hours. OK, I’ll make it 10. Or so.
[In other words: that was outstanding. ]
Miss Bianca
@Avalune: Get a room, you two! Oh, wait…
J R in WV
You guys are upholding the finest standards of BallooN-Juice this evening!!!
Thanks John for the standards document!
Thanks everyone for all the snark. No better snark ANYWHERE!!!
Miss Bianca
@SFAW: One of the things I loved most about “True Blood” the second time round is when Bill the Vampire tells his girlfriend Sookie that vampires love puns…”Vampires are very old. Once upon a time, puns were considered the *highest* form of humor.”
Or words to that effect.
Jay
DPRK News Service @DPRK_News · 1h “War on Christmas” begins early in Hong Kong. Starbuck Coffee expected to escalate.
Kamala.Harris.2020
–eta: supposed to be a reply to someone but that got lost.
Cool. Maybe you could give me a context in which it is NOT OKAY to refer to a person’s race and sex using the “white guy” formulation? Would “another mediocre white guy” be okay for a description? I mean, I think it is since I see it so often from front pagers but – at the same time – I recoil from the idea of seeing something like “another mediocre black woman”. Number 1) cause it just can’t be. They are all fabulous!!! And B) because how intellectually lazy do you have to be that the best description of someone you can come up with the most obvious thing imaginable? Oooh – so very edge lordy. Well, that’s not quite true. I guess one could say “another non-deceased human.” That would be perhaps even more obvious and unnecessary but, for some reason, that phrase just doesn’t provoquer frisson, ya know what I mean.
So looking forward to some guidance on this.
Jay
@Miss Bianca:
only form of humour,
then Ugg tripped on a rock and landed in some fresh, steaming mastadon duty,….
Jay
@Kamala.Harris.2020:
we are fine with “mediocre white guy” and all it’s variations as long as it is a recognition of the white male patriarchy, white nationalism or white supremacy,
or a descriptor of Steve in the Where’s Waldo Now,…..
Amir Khalid
@Miss Bianca:
I for one still consider puns the highest form of humour.
ETA: Does that make me a vampire?
Miss Bianca
Jesus Christ, Cole does ONE LITTLE blog re-design, and it’s all shiny and new and pretty and happy, and then all the trolls come swarming out from under their bridges to stink the place up. Gah.
Omnes Omnibus
@Kamala.Harris.2020: So you want to see me dance?
Avalune
@Miss Bianca:
He shouldn’t be trip trapping over our bridge.
Omnes Omnibus
@Amir Khalid: How do you feel about garlic?
Miss Bianca
@Avalune: I was trying to think of how to get a Three Billy Goats Gruff reference in there!
Amir Khalid
@Jay:
Did Ugg have his furry boots on?
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
@Miss Bianca: They want to help us get our pie filters set up again.
laura
Ooh, Leto after dark ?
Miss Bianca
@Amir Khalid:
If the coffin fits…
Kamala.Harris.2020
But here’s a cute putty tat.
Amir Khalid
@Omnes Omnibus:
I like it fine. But there do exist vampire myths that say vampires are okay with it.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus: Sure Omnes.
Kamala.Harris.2020
@Omnes Omnibus:
Could you dress up like Bill Murray in “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou” and eat a giant cruller while you do it?
If so, then the answer is hellz yeah!
Omnes Omnibus
@Amir Khalid: Do you like with stakes?
Geeno
Jeez – he didn’t even tell us to go fuck ourselves.
Is this really John?
LeftCoastYankee
De-lurking to “here here” the proceedings from the back bench.
And to strenuously object to the dearth of pet pictures today. It’s a Sham-mockery!
I yield the floor….
Ps good job by the tech team.
O. Felix Culpa
@Omnes Omnibus: Groan. Time out for you!
Amir Khalid
@Omnes Omnibus:
Garlic goes great with steaks. So yeah, I do.
Omnes Omnibus
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Don’t associate me with Leo Sayer.
@Kamala.Harris.2020: I don’t take requests.
Dollface
Hello everyone. I’ve been a lurker for many years, and this is my first comment. I just want to say that I love the blog, I love the new site, and I love the Balloon Juice community. I’ve laughed a lot, cried a little, and learned a lot while reading this blog. I have four cats so I’m legit. Best wishes from Durham, North Carolina.
Omnes Omnibus
@O. Felix Culpa: Homophones are fun.
@Amir Khalid: I am deeply disappointed.
O. Felix Culpa
@Omnes Omnibus: It’s good to have goals.
Jay
Red T Raccoon @RedTRaccoon · 6h If you went to a @MomsDemand meeting in the last few years but haven’t been back, go back please. We need to take action.
JWR
Yeah, it is, (I’m with Judy Chu), but damn, how can I write nasty “letters to your congresscritter” when I agree with her positions 99% of the time? ;)
Jinchi
Wow you really do know this crowd.
Another Scott
More mockery, please. It works.
Cheers,
Scott.
(Who went to HS in Dayton and grad school in Cincy.)
Genine Tyson
As rules go, they’re pretty simple.
CarolDuhart2
You can still write to your Congressperson. Attaboys are always welcome in an office that a lot of times gets only complaints:))
I wish it was me. I could have had Aftab Pureval. O well..maybe Steve Chabot will retire….
Good timing on the redo. Right now, there is only ordinary traffic, and unless Orange Cheeto drops dead or something, it will be well seasoned by the time it gets really heavy traffic like the primaries/General Election.
Hopefully there was a stress test for that sort of thing included in the re-do of the site.
JWR
Thanks for the reminder! That’s easy to forget when things are going well. Well, not well, especially these days, (or on days ending in Y), but I hope you catch my drift. ;)
Mnemosyne
@Gin & Tonic:
Yeah, he either called me a Nazi or a Nazi sympathizer, too. But he didn’t threaten to murder or rape me even via email, so that’s still better than other online encounters I’ve had.
CarolDuhart2
@JWR: I do catch your drift. I get email recommendations that I write/call my congressperson, but I’m reluctant regarding old Steve, who is an institution around here.
JWR
@CarolDuhart2: I know how you feel. Or, I remember feeling how you feel, as I was once represented by former Clinton impeachment manager James Rogers, (before Adam Schiff finally rid us of that particular monster.) I once sent Rogers a nice, very mean, and very very rude letter about his policies regarding the Contras in Nicaragua, and all I got was put on his damn mailing list. But I’ll write Ms Chu a *truly* very very nice thank you note, and soon. ;)
Mike Furlan
The filter is a wonderful addition. Thanks.