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You are here: Home / Food & Recipes / Food / Late Night Open Thread: Holiday Food Horrors

Late Night Open Thread: Holiday Food Horrors

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Me, I’ve no objection to an occasional holiday experiment, but…

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139Comments

  2. 2.

    Viva BrisVegas

    These names might not mean very much in the US, but vale Jonathan Miller and Clive James.

     

    Two of the most entertaining renaissance men of the late 20th Century.

     

    The world just got a little bit more witless today.

  4. 4.

    Ruckus

    How about oyster stuffing?

    An ex’s family served that to me one year. Not going to say what it tasted like. But they all acted like it was the best thing ever. It wasn’t.

    Will say that after seeing one of those canned cranberry logs every thanksgiving for the first 20 yrs of my life, that almost sends shivers down my spine.

  5. 5.

    Fair Economist

    Ginger-infused mandarin cranberry compote sounds pretty good. Peppermint candy corn sounds, well, at least *less* disgusting than regular candy corn (what is the flavor of regular candy corn anyway, transfat goo or something like that?). Pumpkin spice gouda cheese – now *that* is awful. If publicized widely enough it might end the pumpkin spice fad.

  6. 6.

    Aleta

    When future historians write papers about the decline and last days of the US Empire these foods will — no wait, there will be way too much else to cover.

  7. 7.

    RandomMonster

    I guess I’m some yuppie swine because I actually prefer the homemade cranberry sauce cooked with Grand Marnier to the quivering gelatinous blob (I mean the cranberry from a can, not the president)

  8. 8.

    Ruckus

    Also, couldn’t think what to have for dinner. Has been quite a while so went out for an In and Out. Of course it’s 46deg out tonight and it started raining when I walked out to get in the car. Shades of winter of 1969 in socal. At least it’s not supposed to rain for over a month straight. Not supposed to.

  12. 12.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @Ruckus: Per Weather Underground there’s a chance of rain for the next 10 days.  I just took a walk to the fancy pants mall to see the “snow”(they have snow blowers on the roof for Christmas and turn them on for about 5 minutes at 7pm and 8pm).

  13. 13.

    spudgun

    Engh, I like both kinds of cranberry sauce…it’s cranberry either way!

    Similar post at Bored Panda – some of those are truly disgusting.

    Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

  14. 14.

    brettvk

    My billionaire employers, for reasons best known to themselves, gave everyone in my workplace a free turkey this year. I’ve worked here for going on 13 years now and this is the first time this has happened. At first I thought about just not taking one; I’m single and although I have the holiday off my family does the family thing around Christmas (we wisely decided that the best family relationships are spread out over the year). Then my inner Martha Stewart, long dormant, rose up and convinced me that I really wanted the challenge of a turkey — and besides, the cats and the dog are more than willing to share in either the triumph or the disaster, so what the hell.

    So the turkey has thawed and is resting overnight in the fridge under a sage-orange peel dry rub. The pecan pie is also thawing there. Sweet potatoes have been baked, mashed, and combined with sour cream, brown sugar and balsamic vinegar and refrigerated. I’ll throw the dressing together in the morning and start the turkey after I return from my volunteer shift at the animal shelter in the afternoon. Green Giant sprouts in butter sauce and de-canning the cranberry jelly come last (Martha shrieks but I don’t care). This will be the second turkey I’ve roasted in my life; the first was to impress an SO when I was in my early 20s, but I quickly learned that game wasn’t worth the candle. This one is for me and the pets!

  16. 16.

    tomtofa

    Looking forward to seeing what my stepdaughter brings in the way of cranberry sauce (and green bean casserole) – how do the youngs prefer to do these things? Can’t wait to see. I do have crispy onion bits on hand in case the casserole is too au currant.

     

    Seen at the stores recently: pumpkin spice Cheerios and dog treats.

  17. 17.

    donnah

    No lie, I’ve made a different cranberry concoction every year for at least five years. Untouched. So I bring out the famous canned cranberry gel and artfully slice it on a plate, and it disappears. Some things are classic and cannot be changed.

  20. 20.

    Kay

    Siobhan Houton Arnold
    @siobhanphilly
    Martin O’Malley just drove Ken Cuccinelli out of the Dubliner in DC w/ a passion-laced and shame-invoking tirade on behalf of immigrant refugee children!!!

    Kicking off the holidays in style.

  22. 22.

    Aleta

    Imho it all started with flavored coffee and should have been stamped out when they began using de-icing solvents to make the faked fragrance of Irish cream stick to the beans.  Let  the people spill blueberry syrup in their hummus and accidentally drop their pumpkin pie onto the gouda in a sandwich in the privacy of their own homes !!  We  have the right  to make our own mistakes without paying for them ahead of  time.

  23. 23.

    Barbara

    @spudgun: There are a lot of jello salads, but there is only one Bologna layer “cake.”  It definitely wins – or loses – for originality.

  24. 24.

    debbie

    The worst I’ve seen is pumpkin spice pasta in the shape of pumpkins. Seems tame compared to some of the stuff up top.

  25. 25.

    Ruckus

    @brettvk:

    Dad used to give away a turkey to each employee for thanksgiving. He also used to buy 4 or 5 cases of liquor to give to customers for xmas and one yr bought a box at Dodger stadium for the year. I got to go once. I’m not sure that it made the slightest bit of difference for business and at one point he just stopped doing all of that.

  27. 27.

    dnfree

    I actually bought pumpkin spice hummus to see what it was like. It was awful. Hummus is not supposed to be sweet. I thought maybe it would be more like spicy hummus. They also had chocolate hummus but I was on to their game when I saw that.

    We have three kinds of cranberry sauce—the traditional can, one with some kind of alcoholic flavor, and one made with raw cranberries, a whole navel orange, and pineapple. I think I’m the only one who likes the raw one, but I make it for me.

  29. 29.

    opiejeanne

    @Ruckus: You don’t have to eat that canned cranberry log. It’s been a running joke in my family since the kids were little.

     

    A few years ago I made cranberry sauce from a recipe that included port, and it was just great. I don’t usually like homemade cranberry sauce, too many memories of it from childhood, but this stuff was the bomb.

    Of course, no one would eat it. Some wouldn’t even taste it, they all wanted the cranberry jelly in the traditional mold, like the one above. I swear, if I scooped it out of the can and put it into a fancy mold, they wouldn’t eat it and they’d be mad at me for trying to get them to eat something new.

  31. 31.

    mrmoshpotato

    METH.  ALL OF THESE COMPANIES’ CONCEPT DIVISIONS ARE ON IT.

     

    Gingerbread humm….oh fuck you.

  32. 32.

    Redshift

    Growing up, we always had both homemade cranberry sauce (one of the few things my dad made) and the canned one (which my mom preferred.) I like both. If you don’t take the trouble to make sure it comes out in a can shape, you’re doing to wrong.

  33. 33.

    Martin

    @Ruckus: I’ve decided that a lot of ‘gourmet’ food is best described by ‘tastes like ass, but a refined palate should appreciate an unfamiliar ass, so I’ll say I like it’.

     

    I do the holiday cooking and I have a simple rule: the cooking isn’t about me, it’s about everyone feeling good about the meal. If that means vegan, then I cook vegan. If it means cranberry from a can, then fuck it, it’s cranberry from a can. I introduce new things as trials. If I want banana haggis stuffing, I can make it after the guests leave.

  36. 36.

    Martin

    All, cranberry sauce is stupid easy to make: 1lb of cranberries, 1 cup water, 1 cup sugar. Put it in a pot and boil until the cranberries break down. That’s fucking it.

     

    From that base you can experiment in a million different ways, but at its most basic its barely any harder than opening that can.

  38. 38.

    Gemina13

    I can’t stand the canned cranberry glop.  I tasted cranberry compote ten years ago and loved it.  But when it comes to the rest, I like my sweet potatoes savory (browned butter & sage), my dressing with sausage and peppers, my turkey basted with butter and cognac, and my pies either apple or French silk.  So I’m kinda crazy that way.

     

    The pumpkin-spice Gouda is an abomination upon the earth, as far as I’m concerned.

  41. 41.

    Ruckus

    @opiejeanne:

    To be honest I don’t think more than one slice was ever taken in any one year. Mom and her sisters were just used to having it on the table, you know in case someone fell down and hit their head before dinner and forgot that it tasted like, well nothing else in the world, including cranberries. At some point mom stopped slicing it, just put it in a dish and let it sit there. I’m amazed it wasn’t stored in the fridge from year to year.

  42. 42.

    NotMax

    @Martin

    Even easier to forego the water and microwave the whole cranberries for 6 or so minutes (cover bowl loosely with waxed paper to avoid spatters and staining). Then mash them with a potato masher and stir in sugar or honey, orange juice, Grand Marnier (or Drambuie) and crushed pineapple to taste. Also chopped nuts, if that’s your thing.

  43. 43.

    opiejeanne

    @Ruckus: Haha! I seem to always have a can lurking in the back of the pantry from the previous year, because the kids bring me one, thinking I haven’t managed to find a can at the store.

     

    Oyster stuffing sounds disgusting. I make cornbread stuffing and cook it in a casserole, not in the bird. Alton Brown made a huge point about that a few years ago, and even though he later conceded and showed how to make it safe to stuff the bird with it AND not end up with an overdone bird, my way is a lot easier.  I hope someone else is bringing that and we don’t end up eating one of the experiments my daughter’s fiancé is fond of making.

    I spent this morning making pumpkin pies for tomorrow, and tomorrow morning I’ll make the pecan pie that someone important has requested.

    I think this is one holiday you don’t experiment with, but Christmas Eve you can run wild as long as there’s a standing rib, mashed potatoes, and Yorkshire pudding.

  44. 44.

    Ruckus

    @Martin:

    Sister was like that, cooked what she liked, you eat it or make your own. She was so good that most of the time you ate and were very happy.

     

    @opiejeanne:

    Am in CA, we have met a couple of times……

    I have no desire to eat cranberry anything at any time, holiday or starvation.

  45. 45.

    Kayla Rudbek

    My dad would always refuse to eat anything but the classic canned cranberry-apparently there was some big food poisoning problem with the whole cranberries when he was a kid in the 50s-60s.  Although the weird thing to my mind was that he also refused to eat any other kind of jelly/jam-type substance out of a jar.  So little Kayla grew up with peanut butter and butter sandwiches (and then branched out into hard salami with ketchup sandwiches, or chocolate sauce sandwiches).

  46. 46.

    CaseyL

    Just about any cranberry is good cranberry. A couple of years ago someone brought home-made cranberry sauce that was to die for.  Cranberry orange?   Something where you do the boiling part and then put the dish in the fridge overnight.  Just wonderful.

     

    And I find it hugely amusing that green bean casserole is almost universal, showing up at Thanksgiving no matter where in the country you are or what your local culinary traditions are.

  49. 49.

    frosty

    @Ruckus: Was that the SoCal winter of 68-69 when I believe it snowed or 69-70 the first year I was there. For an East Coaster, that one didn’t seem so cold. I could occasionally see my breath but that was about it.

  50. 50.

    Kayla Rudbek

    Also essential for Thanksgiving and Christmas as a child: candied apple  rings.  Out of a jar the way that Big Food/Ag intended. Nowadays I try to go lower-carb…

  51. 51.

    eclare

    My aunt once fixed pineapple casserole.  The two main ingredients were canned pineapple and cheddar cheese.  I refused to try it.

  53. 53.

    feebog

    We always have Thanksgiving dinner with the wife’s Brother and SiL.  This year the Missus is making butternut squash with cranberries and candied bacon.  Yummmmm.

  55. 55.

    Ruckus

    @opiejeanne:

    Disgusting hardly says enough.

    Mom used to cook some stuffing in the bird but most of it outside. I think her sisters used to do the same. If you like turkey it was amazing. Mom was actually a pretty good cook with a wide variety of styles. She made a mean enchilada dish, amazing potato soup, lasagna, eggplant…… Miss the old girl some days, as moms go she wasn’t half bad. Of course the other half…….

  58. 58.

    joel hanes

    Says here that candy corn is supposed to taste “like” a combination of vanilla and marshmallow.   But all the flavorings are artificial.

     

    My great-aunt used to bring a jello-mold salad to festive occasions: lime jello made with flat ginger ale, pineapple chunks, sliced pimento-stuffed green olives, and pecans.   We always ate a couple bites because we loved her, but that was a holiday tradition that was allowed to die some years after she passed., because no one really liked it.

  59. 59.

    Ruckus

    @frosty:

    Not the cold, it used to often get rather cold in the winter here, at least relative to the days but I’ve lived where it would be in single digits for days on end so even 46 isn’t that cold. I have worn long pants the last two days. No it was the time it rained and rained and…. I recall it was over 30 days straight. The LA river was nearing it’s limit and many of the bridges in the eastern San Gabriel Valley had water occasionally hitting the bridge and splashing over the road. Homes in Glendora were up to the eves in mud.

  62. 62.

    mrmoshpotato

    @joel hanes:

    Says here that candy corn is supposed to taste “like” a combination of vanilla and marshmallow.   But all the flavorings are artificial. 

    That sounds even worse.

  63. 63.

    Peej01

    I have never had green bean casserole.  I don’t consider that I’ve missed anything.  Cranberry sauce out of the can for me, but I prefer the whole berry kind.

  66. 66.

    Tenar Arha

    Love hearing about what people have for dessert. I like pie, though I prefer French style tarts or a cobbler, but my extended family is really not that into pies.

    Of course I ended up in charge of the sweet desserts. Another cousin does the fruit. Anyway—years ago when I’d bring the whipped cream, ice cream, pecan pie, & apple pie, I’d have two hardly touched leftover pies (literally didn’t matter where I bought them from), & no ice cream left at all.

    So I just gave into the inevitable & my family has a chocolate & vanilla ice cream turkey cake with a chocolate crunchies layer, and small selection of nicer lactose-free cookies. That’s now a tradition.

    ETA typo

  67. 67.

    hervevillechaizelounge

    I’m about three threads late with this—I only hit the Juice after dark—but someone was looking for a free link to People Will Talk.

     

    https://ok.ru/video/261499194019

     

    Ok.ru has pretty much every classic film available, for free, no sign-up.  Russians hacked our democracy and they laugh at American copyright laws; if I have to suffer through the former I’ll avail myself of the latter—it’s only fair.

  73. 73.

    frosty

     @Ruckus: Rain rings a bell. We flew out for college tours in January of ‘69 and it rained the entire time. There were a few other really wet winters when I lived in SoCal in the 70s

  79. 79.

    Ruckus

    @Ruckus:

    If you google, check the images. One of the pics is the LA river with water up to the bridges. That picture is misleading in that channel is about 25 feet deep and about 200 feet wide and it’s full. And it stayed that way for a very long time. Here’s the picture.

  83. 83.

    Greenergood

    @Viva BrisVegas: Oh no! Not BOTH of them! Such witty, acerbic, canny blokes  – I’m sorry to read about them, All you people upset about gingerbread hummus, etc. – well I’ve been fomenting for years about St Patrick’s Day disgusting green beer, bagels and milkshakes but did you listen?? No: and the result is abominations like gingerbread hummus, etc. Happy Turkey Day – Hope a minimum number of jackals are  affected by snow/wind/other forces of nature. I’m in the closing stages of moving my mom from her house  In NY she lived in for 60 years to assisted living in PA near my bro, because I’ve  lived in the UK for 35+ years and she doesn’t want to go there!!  I’ve never been so tired and unsettled in my life – but the place, the staff, the residents, the food are all fantastic. As a long-term UK resident, the US health care system is labyrinthine and  scarey – and I am SO lucky that my Dad left my Mum enough money to be safe (because I don’t have any).  I keep coming across older people in stores like Stop and Shop, or Walmart, etc., who are OLD and INFIRM, who shouldn’t be working but they must. I’ve asked them point-blank – and a few say they want to keep seeing people, but most say they have to keep working to EAT. In the wealthiest country in the world …

  85. 85.

    Mary G

    I remember the 1969 rains in So. Cal. – it poured for nine days straight. They finally decided to send us home from school when the mudslides started. I was going to a junior high in the next town over and to get home we had to cross a bridge across a creek that was being converted to a flood control channel that was almost always dry and in a usual spring might get up to three inches deep across the middle 10 feet of the 100-foot wide channel. The bus got to the bridge and the whole channel was full all the way across and a good twenty feet high up to the bottom of the bridge. The cops were trying to decide whether to close the bridge or not and finally starting letting the buses go across one at a time. There were whole trees and pieces of houses bashing into the bridge at about 50 mph, and it was shaking like there was an earthquake, but it held up. Right after my bus went over they closed it.  Super exciting!

     

    My friend’s mom met us at the stop and took me to their house, because my mom was working. The phones in town were all out and my mother got hysterical when she couldn’t get hold of me, because she was sure I’d gone to the beach and had a house on the cliff collapse on me or been washed out to sea. We had a ginormous fight, because I’d tried to call elebenty times and felt it was an Act of God or my friend’s mom, certainly not my fault.

  86. 86.

    gwangung

    Well, damn…I REALLY like homemade cranberry sauce, when it’s done well. Bits of orange peel, not too much sugar….going over to a friend’s and she just dazzles her family with it.

  87. 87.

    Ruckus

    @Greenergood:

    I’m 70 and still working. Mostly for the money but also some for something to do. And every day I get a noticeable bit closer to actual retirement because there is only so much work that one lifetime can or wants to accomplish. If I hadn’t lost almost everything in the last republican caused recession my plan had been to be retired before now. Best laid plans of non republicans. Oh wait, the rich fuck everyone equally, it’s just that some of us see that they have the financial concepts of 2+2= PROFIT.

    It may be in total the wealthiest country but it’s only because a few greedy fucks have most of it.

    Think what it could/would be like if they didn’t…….

  88. 88.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    @Ruckus: I have no desire to eat cranberry anything at any time, holiday or starvation.

    It’s remotely possible this could change your mind – it’s the best pie EVER, and I say that as a longtime baker of and enthusiastic consumer of pies. I started making it for the year-end holidays rather than Thanksgiving, but as more of my family and friends try it, it’s in greater demand the rest of the year. I have to buy extra cranberries while they’re available and keep them in the freezer to meet year-round demand.

     

    I just finished making the first pumpkin pie and the croutons and dressing for Caesar salad. Dinner rolls coming up tomorrow morning.

  90. 90.

    Schmendrick

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    I believe I may have been in the same fancy-pants mall of which you speak this afternoon.  I came out of retirement to spend the next month in LA at a seasonal job.  I can’t say what it iws, but it involves wearing a lot of red and a big white beard.  After checking out the fit of my red suit (at Griffith Park) I had lunch at the Glendale Galleria food court — which is a fancy-pants mall if ever I saw one.  I, too, avoided buying pants of any kind – fancy or not.

  93. 93.

    Schmendrick

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    I believe I may have been in the same fancy-pants mall of which you speak this afternoon.  I came out of retirement to spend the next month in LA at a seasonal job.  I can’t say what it is, but it involves wearing a lot of red and a big white beard.  After checking out the fit of my red suit (at Griffith Park) I had lunch at the Glendale Galleria food court — which is a fancy-pants mall if ever I saw one.  I, too, avoided buying pants of any kind – fancy or not.

  94. 94.

    Schmendrick

    About that double post — My first comment was in moderation, because I typed my email address incorrectly. I went back to try to fix that by correcting my email, but I could not expunge the original, and someone apparently freed it from purgatory. The good news is, this should not happen again because henceforth my email is being pre-loaded. So that is another thing to thank Watergirl for — less redundant posts from moi.

  96. 96.

    opiejeanne

    @CaseyL: I never made it for Thanksgiving, nor solicited it from relatives coming for dinner, and then one year, it just appeared and has been a fixture since. I didn’t like it as a kid; I can just tolerate it now.

    I used to make stewed pearl onions every thanksgiving because my mom did every year, and no one will eat them but me. I don’t remember eating them as a kid, but I missed them when I grew up.

  98. 98.

    opiejeanne

    @Ruckus: I was in college at Cal Poly Pomona, and the new girls dorm had mud up against the back of the building. I didn’t have dry socks for more than half an hour, for six weeks. That was the year Rainbow street (lane?) in Glendora was inundated by a mudslide and people died in their homes.

  99. 99.

    Aleta

    @opiejeanne: My cousin carries on the creamed pearl onions that my grandmother made.  No one else has the patience to peel them. My mother used to make her mother’s Christmas Eve oysters for herself—only for herself, which she was fine with.  I was oblivious to her ritual,  but now I remember.

  103. 103.

    Ruckus

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:

    I’ve tried cranberry everything, including that pie made from that recipe.

    Not for me.

    And any more I’m trying to be an actual good boy and attempting to keep my A1C number in the safe zone. I take enough pills for things I have no control over, at least I can attempt to keep the pill count in the horrifying number range and not push it into the needs a pharmacist license level.

  105. 105.

    Redshift

    @Aleta: Mmm, my mom still makes creamed onions because they’re her and my favorite thing at holiday meals. I think she’s always used canned onions, no peeling. Mom and I like all the same things; we’re the only two in the family with a serious sweet tooth. But I also like the things she doesn’t, like seafood and spicy food.

  106. 106.

    Schmendrick

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Where I come from they both qualify as fancy-pants malls, but now that you mention it, I was at the Americana a few years ago and as I remember it was extremely fancy.  Therefore I defer to your judgment.

  107. 107.

    Amir Khalid

    You go to see Springsteen, you damn well better hear Born to Run.

    I suppose so,but I wouldn’t mind also hearing Jersey Girl, featuring Mr and Mrs Springsteen having a romantic dance.

    The tales of Thanksgiving culinary horrors have been entertaining. They are cheering me up, which I need because when the XXL-size sweatshirt I ordered online arrived today, the size label said S. (Small pout.)

  110. 110.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    ???. I especially love the nocturnal snacks like this where I think it’s the usual 4:30 or so, but no.

  112. 112.

    tomtofa

    A decent cranberry sauce is probably 2nd to stuffing/dressing in the list of best Thanksgiving sides. Maybe a tie with gravy. Sometimes canned is good enough. Sometimes canned with berries included, sometimes artisanal. Does it depend on the political bent of the participants? Maybe, who knows.

  113. 113.

    WereBear

    @Major Major Major Major:

    So excited to do the next draft of my novel, I definitely leveled up.

    Wicked good! I am drafting my first horror novel with MindMeister, and it’s amazing how well it is gelling.

    However, considering the subject and our times, this idea has been marinating for ages.

  114. 114.

    Ruckus

    I keep getting a gateway error. Not the first time.

     

    Oh and just a by the by.

    Shit for brains has been having his buddies fuck with the VA, so they can make it better……..

    Some vets, like me, pay co pays if you aren’t a combat vet and make enough to buy food. I’m OK with that, I’m glad I didn’t get wounded/disabled/killed. The billing used to be handled by the billing dept, but of course now it’s handled by a private company, which sucks money from vets and fucks up and over bills stuff. Or doesn’t send a bill at all. So two months in a row they’ve made mistakes, all not in my favor of course. And those now unnecessary people who worked in the billing office, yeah those jobs seem to have disappeared.

    So nice to see a government system that works well get fucked by useless fucks that couldn’t find their heads with both hands, unless they were scratching where the sun don’t shine. Which by the way seems to be not so much any more, that sun not shining there, if twitter is even close to right. The posts have been pulled. Shame you couldn’t see people getting an all inner tan.

  115. 115.

    No One You Know

    @Duane:@Redshift:  I’m so tired of orange this year, so green beans had a Merger-and-Acquisition with cranberries.  Culture shock treatment consists of black pepper, almonds, and bourbon-bacon glaze. What do you mean, overkill?

  116. 116.

    Mel

    @opiejeanne: Would you share your recipe?  I’d love to try the port version

    I’ve tried the making the version with orange juice and zest, and the version with Gran Marnier. Both were good,  but not so good that they got made more than once or twice.

    I’d love to have a “so good you make it every time” recipe..

  118. 118.

    WereBear

    I think something cranberry belongs on the Thanksgiving table, since it is utterly colonial America. A gift of the new world. And it helps that I like cranberries :)

  121. 121.

    Van Buren

    @opiejeanne: Oyster stuffing is, I believe, a Tidewater Virginia thing, and can be damn good.

    But it is best not to experiment with new recipes on Turkey day.

  123. 123.

    Sab

    @opiejeanne: We always used to have those, and no one but Mom would eat them. Then finally, twenty years into it I finally tasted them and they were delicious.

    I decided tomake them a few years back, and bought a bag of frozen pearl onions. I expected to find the recipe on the bag, as always. But it wasn’t there anymore!

    Yay google.

  124. 124.

    Barbara

    @opiejeanne: I have a recipe for pearled onions that are braised in a balsamic vinegar sauce, that has a touch of chocolate and ancho chile. It takes a while to make snd is pungent while cooking, but it goes well with turkey. I suspect prior generations were just trying to use up surplus produce.

  125. 125.

    Juju

    @Van Buren:  I have a seafood allergy and if there are oysters in the stuffing I can’t eat the stuffing or the turkey that has been stuffed with oyster stuffing. My brother does this every Thanksgiving. I haven’t had Thanksgiving dinner with him or his family in decades. My mother always made dressing, which means it was not cooked in the bird. It is much better than anything with oysters. Even if I could eat oysters I would not.

    As for cranberry sauce I have one my aunt gave my mother that is a cooked sauce and has orange, lemon and apple, peels and all, along with one deseeded chopped jalapeño, cranberries and caramelized sugar. I have never in my life liked any form of cranberry in my life, but I love the auntie cranberry sauce recipe, and make it and freeze a bunch to use all year. It’s also good on ham and chicken. Just be glad your family never made cranberry pudding, which doesn’t seem like a pudding as much as nasty boiled cake. Ick.

  127. 127.

    debbie

    @joel hanes:

    My grandmother made a jello salad with bing cherry jello and pitted bing cherries, each with a pecan half inserted into the cherry. We loved it, and if I could ever figure out how to successfully pit cherries (with that special tool), I’d make it again.

  130. 130.

    Citizen Alan

    Cranberries are okay, I guess. With vodka. And if you don’t mind your buddies mocking you for having a “chick drink.” But something about the quivering cranberry tower has made me nauseous every Thanksgiving for nearly 50 years.

     

    So to face my fears, this year I’m bringing a cran-apple cobbler for the desert. A can of cranberry sauce and a can of apple pie filing mixed together and baked into a cobbler. We’ll see how it goes.

     

    No one I know here in Mississippi would stuff a turkey. It’s all about ma-maw’s chicken & dressing.

  131. 131.

    Shantanu Saha

    I’m making my mother’s cranberry chutney recipe on Friday when my friends come over. Sadly, when I visit her today, she won’t be making it because the family demands jellied cranberry sauce sliced into coins.

     

    one pint water

    1 package fresh cranberries

    two apples, peeled and diced

    1/2 cup brown sugar

    2 tbsps mustard seed

    In the pan, heat up the mustard seed over medium heat. Some of the seeds may pop.

    (optional) rehydrated raisins, 1/2 cup

    Add in water and sugar, bring to a boil.

    Add in the rest of the ingredients, bring back to a boil.

    Reduce heat, simmer until the fruit softens and the sauce thickens.

    Put into refrigerator until ready to serve.

  132. 132.

    J R in WV

    @Mary G:

     

    There were whole trees and pieces of houses bashing into the bridge at about 50 mph, and it was shaking like there was an earthquake, but it held up. Right after my bus went over they closed it. Super exciting!

    Sounds just a wee bit TOO exciting to this old fart. Floods are nothing to take for granted, they kill way too many folks here in the mountains.

     

    Speaking of bridges and things banging into them in floods, we had the epitome of flood disaster video not long ago. House floating downstream and jamming under bridge, but on fire !! Amazing combination of disasterious video, fire and water. But not cold, so no ice.

     

    And now for my latest food horror, which was shared on Balloon Juice in real time. Going next door to neighbor’s regularly scheduled annual fancy  holiday dinner, for which I had settled into a pattern of making cranberry orange relish and a really big skillet pineapple upside down cake, which was always a big hit. Huge iron skillet, so a bit of a feat of manliness flipping the cake over in that nearly foot and  a half skillet.

     

    Anyways, on to the disaster part… I’m posting on a holiday thread much like this one, and tell the B-J world that I’m going to try using a fresh pineapple I picked up the day before for the famous upside-down cake. Then I get up from the computer and proceed to slice that bad boy, and oh boy does the fresh pineapple taste good! Meanwhile Cheryl R adds a serious warning to the thread behind my back, informing the Balloon Juice world that using a fresh pineapple to bake with is serious bad news — there are enzymes in fresh pineapple that digest parts of your batter.

     

    I put the giant skillet containing the cake into the oven and return to the computer, where I see Cheryl’s friendly and concerned warning, 45 minutes way too late. I go ahead with the baking, might as well see the experiment out to its inglorious finale…

     

    It is unbelievably disgusting, liquid. Slimy, smells bad. Oh My Gawd !!! Never do this!!

     

    I thanked Cheryl for her helpful advice on the thread. Describe the ruin. Make the cranberry sauce not experimenting, have already done way too much experimental cooking.

     

    And oysters in dressing are really great if you like oysters. if not, then don’t go there.

     

    ETA:

    Nothing big today, happy my knee is doing well after ‘scope procedure Tuesday. Will make a nice pot of soup this evening, have good wine. Can walk, carefully. Thankful for all that, warm and comfy. And thankful for all the jackals !

  133. 133.

    Juju

    @Steeplejack: Here’s the cranberry with jalapeño sauce recipe. I’m sorry I didn’t post it earlier but I took the dogs out and then took a nap. While I was sleeping it turned beautiful in  OBX. I forgot that you actually have to peel the apples. I hope you have a food processor, it makes it a whole lot easier to prep.

     

    Cranberry Sauce with Jalapeño

    2 apples
    1 orange
    1 lemon
    1 jalapeño
    1 3/4 cup white sugar
    2 cups cranberries

    Peel and dice apples, seed and dice but do not peel lemon and orange, seed and chop jalapeño.

    Cook sugar on medium high heat until sugar melts and turns deep golden brown color. Carefully stir in rest of ingredients except for cranberries. Reduce heat and simmer for 8-10 minutes, stirring constantly. Stir in cranberries and cook 10 or so minutes longer, it can take as long as 30 minutes. You will know it’s heading into done when the cranberries start to soften and pop open. You may need to help them along by mashing with wooden spoon. Remove from heat and cool. Taste and add more sugar if sauce needs it.

    If you have a food processor, cut and seed oranges, lemon, and seeded jalapeño and process until a medium chop. Add apple eighths and pulse until apples are medium chop and mixed. Then continue with rest of recipe directions.

    I hope you like this as much as I do.

  136. 136.

    Another Scott

    @NotMax: Some people have entirely too weird imaginations, and entirely too much time on their hands!!

     

    Thanks.

     

    Cheers,

    Scott.

  138. 138.

    Mo MacArbie

    It occurs to me now that one could make one’s fancy pants cranberry sauce and chill it…in a clean can. Would that work?

  139. 139.

    Mohagan

    @opiejeanne: Growing up my aunt always had broiled peach halves filled with mincemeat which I’ve never seen anywhere else for T-day. My cousin says it was a Southern thing (my mother and aunt had grown up in Roanoke VA in the 30s)

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