• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

The revolution will be supervised.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Let there be snark.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Come on, man.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Quick Site Maintenance

Quick Site Maintenance

by John Cole|  December 4, 20197:58 pm| 175 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

Will keep this brief, because Adam’s post below is far more important than this, but I wanted to keep you all up to date.

1.) We are going to darken the whiteness of the screen a little bit, and make the text a little bit darker. We will do it slightly, but we can not tailor the site to every individual person and we do not want to run into accessibility issues.

2.) If you have noticed, there are no ads running right now. This is because we were informed by the new ad provider (different from the old one) that we have been flagged for objectionable content. The two posts that flagged objectionable content were, hysterically, ones by Cheryl and Tamara, two of the LEAST offensive front pagers. I went through the posts, and what got flagged was ***NOT*** the actual post by either of those two, but you assholes going off in the comments. Superb work, folks. We are handling this in two ways. First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.” Similarly “objectionable” words will receive the same treatment. Never a dull moment with you people. Regardless, ads should hopefully reappear in a few days.

3.) While reading some of the complaints in recent threads, I thought it would be perhaps helpful (although I doubt it), if I once again noted that the website is not built for YOU and YOU alone. It’s built to serve the needs of the vast majority of people. Submitting tickets and endlessly posting about things you don’t *like* is not the same as posting about things that don’t *work*. The former is just a pain in the ass, the latter is actually helpful. Also, you codgers, *different* does not always mean *worse*. It just means different. Yes, I know pudding night was on Tuesday night on the old version of the site, but for a myriad of complex reasons, pudding night is now on Wednesday. Please bear with us.

Finally, I highly recommend f.lux for everyone. It makes your screen sync to the time of day, changing the brightness and warmth of the screen. I use it on every device I own. It’s outstanding.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: «Black PSYOP IV: Rudy Giuliani's European OANN Adventure 1 Black PSYOP Part IV: Rudy Giuliani’s European OANN Adventure is the Black PSYOP’s Sixth Line of Operation
Next Post: Open Thread: Prezdint Snowflake Scampers Off to His Safe Space »

Reader Interactions

175Comments

  1. 1.

    Mary G

    December 4, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    Going off in the comments is one of the chief benefits of the site. Are we supposed to use f#ck from now on too?

     

    ETA: I do love the new features now that I am used to them. Congrats to WaterGirl and you, and I hope you find new advertisers soon. If not, I will pay monthly if I have to to contribute to keeping the door open.

  2. 2.

    Baud

    December 4, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    First, we are looking for an ad provider with different no standards

    Fixed.

  3. 3.

    Baud

    December 4, 2019 at 8:03 pm

    Can we replace fuck with duck instead?

  4. 4.

    MisterForkbeard

    December 4, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Yes, I know pudding night was on Tuesday night on the old version of the site, but for a myriad of complex reasons, pudding night is now on Wednesday. Please bear with us.

    I would like to register a bug that pudding night isn’t happening on both Tuesday AND Wednesday, thank you.

    ETA: All joking aside, the new site design is lovely and I like the amount of white and whitespace. I’ll deal with any other minor annoyances. Except for Pudding Night.

  5. 5.

    Central Planning

    December 4, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    Can’t believe ad providers will be cramping my f#cking style.

    Since I’m generally clueless to the ad serving business, are you saying that the ad providers are monitoring the sites where their ads go? And that they watch/care about f-bombs?

  6. 6.

    James E Powell

    December 4, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    but we can not tailor the site to every individual person

    Outrageous!  What kind of world are we living in?

  7. 7.

    Just Chuck

    December 4, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    we have been flagged for objectionable content

    What, just because we’re the #1 google hit for “skull fuck a kitten”?

  8. 8.

    Josie

    December 4, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Well, what if we just don’t like pudding?

  9. 9.

    Baud

    December 4, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    @Josie: 

    Who doesn’t like pudding?!?!?!

  10. 10.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    The gelatin lobby will be in contact shortly.

  11. 11.

    PJ

    December 4, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    Since this is an open thread: Julian Castro is 98% of the way to getting enough donations to participate in the next debate.  If you think he is an important voice which should be heard at the debate (and I think he has been notable in bringing up poverty issues), please consider sending a few bucks his way.  https://twitter.com/JulianCastro?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 8:17 pm

    @Baud</a.

    Cripes, weren't we just admonished NOT to talk about things we like or don't like?

    :)

  13. 13.

    chopper

    December 4, 2019 at 8:17 pm

    First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.”

    oh fuck that fucking shit.

  14. 14.

    terben

    December 4, 2019 at 8:18 pm

    @Baud: Any attempt to replace fucks with ducks will be resisted. This is a duck friendly space.

  15. 15.

    The Dangerman

    December 4, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    There’s really less than a quarter million uses of the f bomb on the site?! Step it up, people!

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 8:22 pm

    @terben

    We could make mock of Facebook by using zuck.

    Two birds with one stone.
    ;)

  17. 17.

    The Pale Scot

    December 4, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    Well Fucking A

     

    Perhaps you can replace profanities with emotie images of the trump balloon

  18. 18.

    Josie

    December 4, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    @Baud:

    It was sort of a rhetorical question.  I actually do like banana pudding.

  19. 19.

    seefleur

    December 4, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    As a daily lurker, I have to say that this is fucking ridiculous – ANY blog site of this caliber should be allowed as many fucks as it’s followers have to give. And for the record, I really like the new site. Not that my opinion counts for even half-a-fuck, but I felt the need to put this out there in the land of the jackals. So there. Two thumbs up for this place/space and its’ minions.

  20. 20.

    patrick II

    December 4, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    I know  what Bunk and McNulty  would say about this.

  21. 21.

    Baud

    December 4, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    @seefleur:

    ANY blog site of this caliber should be allowed as many fucks as it’s followers have to give

    Can’t tell if insult or compliment.

  22. 22.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    efgoldman would be very, very, very sad.

  23. 23.

    different-church-lady

    December 4, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    Well shit, that fucking sucks.

  24. 24.

    Baud

    December 4, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    @NotMax:

     

    Good point.  We have to stop this.  Efgoldman would never say f#ckem.

  25. 25.

    different-church-lady

    December 4, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    @NotMax: Come sit next to me.

  26. 26.

    Kattails

    December 4, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    Oh no being a good Democrat I feel I must apologize for boldly using the f-word without asterisks and whatnot on the new site. Now I feel bad. Thankfully I don’t have to apologize for using the word Baron or Barron in any context whatsoever. oh oops

  27. 27.

    chopper

    December 4, 2019 at 8:36 pm

    @Baud:

     

    fuck a duck, man.

  28. 28.

    chopper

    December 4, 2019 at 8:37 pm

    @NotMax:

     

    “fudge em” just doesn’t have that…zing.

  29. 29.

    different-church-lady

    December 4, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    @Josie: Then we don’t have to eat our meat!

  30. 30.

    Mary G

    December 4, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    There appears to be another mass shooting at the base on Pearl Harbor:

    UPDATE: At least three victims have been shot in what responders are calling a “mass casualty situation” at Pearl Harbor.

    The base is on lock down as the active shooter situation is still ongoing.

    — Travis Akers (@travisakers) December 5, 2019

    So fucking tired of this.

  31. 31.

    chopper

    December 4, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    Yes, I know pudding night was on Tuesday night on the old version of the site, but for a myriad of complex reasons, pudding night is now on Wednesday. Please bear with us.

    i’ll have a whiskey for pudding.

  32. 32.

    seefleur

    December 4, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    @Baud:  Both?

  33. 33.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    Maybe, just maybe, Comstock & Bowdler aren’t the right fit when it comes to partnering with an ad service.

  34. 34.

    Martin

    December 4, 2019 at 8:42 pm

    This is because we were informed by the new ad provider (different from the old one) that we have been flagged for objectionable content.

    Oh, fuck.

    The two posts that flagged objectionable content were, hysterically, ones by Cheryl and Tamara, two of the LEAST offensive front pagers.

    The fuck?

    I went through the posts, and what got flagged was ***NOT*** the actual post by either of those two, but you assholes going off in the comments. Superb work, folks.

    Fuck yeah!

    We are handling this in two ways. First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.” Similarly “objectionable” words will receive the same treatment. Never a dull moment with you people.

    Oh fuck. Er, fück.

    Regardless, ads should hopefully reappear in a few days.

    fuck

  35. 35.

    Yarrow

    December 4, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    @Baud: Tick Tock, Motherduckers just doesn’t have the same ring.

  36. 36.

    low-tech cyclist

    December 4, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Speaking of the absence of ads, is there any way to enable us jackals to pay for an ad-free experience here?

     

    I’m aware of two sites that offer such an option.  One is TPM which you all know.  The other is, of all things, a message board running on software left over from the early 2000s.  (The Straight Dope Message Board, if anyone wants to look it up.  Started off in life as an adjunct of Cecil Adams’ weekly Straight Dope columns that appeared in alternative weeklies, but took on a life of its own.)

     

    My thought is that if the Dope (as denizens of that board call it) can manage this feat with its ancient software, it can’t be that tough, right?  And it might well raise more money for BJ than ads would.

  37. 37.

    Elizabelle

    December 4, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    we were informed by the new ad provider (different from the old one) that we have been flagged for objectionable content.

     

    What did they expect from a pack of vicious, vitriolic jackals?  That’s actually the funniest news I have heard all day.

     

    Do we need ads?  With all the fucking $$$ jackals pony up, why don’t we just do some rotating fundraisers and live without the ads?

  38. 38.

    Mo MacArbie

    December 4, 2019 at 8:47 pm

    Man, we finally free the penis, and now this? #YWP

  39. 39.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 4, 2019 at 8:49 pm

    @low-tech cyclist: The host has always been against this.

  40. 40.

    Amir Khalid

    December 4, 2019 at 8:50 pm

    @chopper:

    In Malaysia we don’t say fudge, we say fish. Fish is a much healthier food.

     

    I agree that banning profanity runs counter to the spirit of Balloon Juice, which has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate. I hope you find a cussing-friendly ad provider.

  41. 41.

    The Dangerman

    December 4, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

     

    …has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

     

    I spy with my little eye a fucking rotating tag.

  42. 42.

    Chris Johnson

    December 4, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Pretty sure we could use the ol’ socialist dodge. Fuck! (sticking a bit of formatting in there so FYWP and/or ad servers don’t get wise to my nefarious plans)

  43. 43.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 8:57 pm

    @Elizabelle: Speaking just for myself, not having talked with Cole about this…

     

    I would say if anyone wants even a chance at that being a possibility, everyone who can afford to, and cares to, could pony up what they can – to show John what might be possible in terms of funds that could be raised in lieu of ads.  If it’s a goodly amount, it might get John’s attention, and if it is not, then it’s completely unlikely that that could ever be a solution, and at least that idea could be taken off the table entirely.

     

    Of course, timing is everything, and this is the holiday season, so this might be the worst possible timing for something like that.  It’s up to each person to decide.

     

    P.S. I don’t believe there would ever be an “I can afford to subscribe so I get an ad-free site but you can’t afford that you so get stuck with ads” solution.  But if everybody pitched in what they could, without subscriptions, who knows?

  44. 44.

    Shantanu Saha

    December 4, 2019 at 8:57 pm

    I have no more fucks to give.

    But I could throw in a few bucks to get rid of the ads.

  45. 45.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 4, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    @Baud: What about ‘spuck’?

     

    ETA – “Woo hoo!  Tamara made an open thread about her fucks.  I ducking love these posts!” Hehe

  46. 46.

    frosty

    December 4, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    @The Dangerman:

    I spy with my little eye a fucking rotating tag.

    So nominate it! We can do that now and WaterGirl said there were only three in the queue, a little while back.

  47. 47.

    dmsilev

    December 4, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    Somewhere, buried deep in the server, is a site fuckmeter, and the numbers are spinning by so fast that they’re just a blur right now.

  48. 48.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    @Amir Khalid
    Suddenly reminded of a recurring name now and again mentioned on the old Vic And Sade radio show, the gentleman discussed always being referred to as “Rishigan Fishigan from Sishigan, Michigan.”

    :)

  49. 49.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 4, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    @NotMax: Zuck Mark Fuckerberg.

  50. 50.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    @frosty: We are up to 8 now!

  51. 51.

    Roger Moore

    December 4, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    @low-tech cyclist:

    I’m aware of two sites that offer such an option.

    Linux Weekly News also offers an ad-free option.  I don’t know how well it would work here at Balloon-Juice, though.  All those sites require accounts on the system to control who has access to the ad-free content, and John has always been against having any kind of account system.

  52. 52.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    @frosty: Of course, this might be the wrong week to place a bet on John approving that one!  :-)

  53. 53.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 4, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    @NotMax: And probably very, very, very fucking mad.

  54. 54.

    Amir Khalid

    December 4, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    While we’re all focusing our attention on this one naughty word, let’s have some appropriate music.

  55. 55.

    Roger Moore

    December 4, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Somewhere, buried deep in the server, is a site fuckmeter, and the numbers are spinning by so fast that they’re just a blur right now.

    And I thought Balloon-Juicers were all out of fucks to give!

  56. 56.

    artem1s

    December 4, 2019 at 9:06 pm

    First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.”

    gotta say, I’m skeptical of content police that object to f-bombs.  Generally the fundagelical types who get their panties in a twist over language and what they consider to be ‘family friendly”, but who don’t have a problem with gun fetishists or misogynistic advertising in general, don’t impress me as the type of advertisers who can relate to the branding of this  jackal infested blog. Can we find an advertiser who encourages F-bombs and flags grammar police instead?

  57. 57.

    FelonyGovt

    December 4, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Balloon Juice, which has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

    You win the Internets for today.

  58. 58.

    Raven

    December 4, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    WTF-K?

  59. 59.

    dmsilev

    December 4, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    @Roger Moore: Still plenty of fucks left to sell though.

  60. 60.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 4, 2019 at 9:11 pm

     

    @Elizabelle: Whadda ya think this place is?  Wonkette?

  61. 61.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 4, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    @dmsilev:

    Somewhere, buried deep in the server

    It must be in Ukraine, all servers are in Ukraine.

  62. 62.

    Amir Khalid

    December 4, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    @artem1s:

    Can we find an advertiser who encourages F-bombs and flags grammar police instead?

    Now wait one damn minute there.

  63. 63.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    I would like to poke my head up for a second to say that nearly all of the site feedback submissions have been respectful and constructive and helpful, so I hope you will all continue to use that in the same way that you have been.

    I might, however, have to agree with John that repetitively posting about things you don’t care for isn’t necessarily any of the things I listed above.

  64. 64.

    TaMara (HFG)

    December 4, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    It was my dick post wasn’t it?  You post one dick instead of duck and all hell breaks loose. That’s ducking ridiculous.

  65. 65.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    I ❤️pudding, but it has to be homemade, from scratch.  And by from scratch, I mean no boxed pudding, and no pudding from the dairy case.

    I will eat homemade pudding any day of the week every day of the week.

  66. 66.

    Martin

    December 4, 2019 at 9:20 pm

    Oh, this should make a fun news cycle.

    A massive trove of documents, data, and recorded phone calls showing how British company Formations House works to hide money for the superrich is being reported on by journalists all over the world, with the first stories dropping at midnight on Wednesday.

  67. 67.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 4, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    @WaterGirl: Well look at you!  Being a pudding snob with no recipe to back it up. :)

  68. 68.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: I am a pudding snob!  I never thought about it that way, but I really am.

    I just use the standard Betty Crocker recipe – ha (!) I wrote Betty Cracker at first, without thinking!

    milk

    egg yolks

    salt

    sugar

    cornstarch

    chocolate (or not, depending)

  69. 69.

    DanR2

    December 4, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    The entire mainstream internet uses a f#cking white background. Why? Contrast = legibility. A WHITE background it not an issue on a website. I watched you torture yourselves with the last modifications to settle on some weird gray background. People have the ability to turn down the brightness of their browsers/devices.  Why do you let — what, one, two?–complainers with their screens jacked up to surgery-level brightness dictate readability for the rest of the world? Gray = Less contrast. Don’t do it. It’s good.

     

    Make the text a bit heavier, sure. That’s never a bad plan, but you’re well within the realm of readability as it is.

     

    You’ll never please everyone, but this new refresh is looking pretty damn good, IMO.

  70. 70.

    Martin

    December 4, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    In case anyone forgot what a complete fucking asshole looked like

    George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watch volunteer acquitted of homicide charges in the 2012 fatal shooting of unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, is suing Martin’s family, prosecutors and others involved in the case he claims rested on false evidence, according to a copy of the suit sent to the media Wednesday.

    Zimmerman is represented by Larry Klayman, a high-profile legal crusader tied to conservative causes and the founder of Judicial Watch before splitting with the activist group.

    Suing for $100M.

  71. 71.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    @WaterGirl

    On the other hand it’s a handy and ready way to gauge whether any others share those opinions/tastes/preferences (or may experience them as functional shortcomings), not an attempt to impose them.

  72. 72.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 4, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Don’t most OS’s come with a night mode built in?

  73. 73.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 4, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    @DanR2: Look, when you’re doing surgery you need surgical level brightness on your monitor. //

  74. 74.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    @NotMax: outside agitator!

  75. 75.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 4, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    @Martin: Discovery should be a hoot.

  76. 76.

    Doug R

    December 4, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    Might as well get this out of my system:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqqgmO8VNyU

  77. 77.

    Martin

    December 4, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    @DanR2: With a little bit of effort, people can tweak the site styles in a local stylesheet on most browsers. Set the background, font size, font style, etc. however you want.

     

    Every time you come back,  your local styles will override the site settings. That’s basically how adblockers work.

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    @dmsilev: Great.  Now we will be flagged for prostitution.

  79. 79.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    @DanR2: I agree with most of what you said.  I feel compelled to mention, though, that the current color is not actually WHITE.

  80. 80.

    kindness

    December 4, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    The people who sell digital advertising have standards for the comments in a blog?

     

    I’ll be damned.

  81. 81.

    Ohio Mom

    December 4, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    I am still having lots of trouble commenting and also, getting to edit function to work. And the back arrow doesn’t work for me. I have an ancient iPhone 5 though, so maybe that’s the problem.

     

    I can manage but I do worry that we are losing commentators who aren’t as determined as I am to deal with the new quirks. Oh well. It’s still nice not to have to type my Nym in constantly.

  82. 82.

    randy khan

    December 4, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    Well, at least it wasn’t my fault.

     

    But it is time for me to toss a few shekels in towards upkeep.

  83. 83.

    Tim C.

    December 4, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    That post literally made me sing out loud the opening song from the South Park Movie.

     

    Which is now 21 years old.

     

    Damn….

  84. 84.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    Thread demands a dollop of Nilsson.

    :)

  85. 85.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    @FelonyGovt: Someone should definitely nominate that one.

    How many hundreds of times have we all written “I nominate this to be a rotating tag”, and now that we can actually do it, there have only been 8 nominations.  it’s shameful! :-)

  86. 86.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    @kindness: That’s just their day job.  At night they are all vying to be president of their respective HOAs.

  87. 87.

    frosty

    December 4, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    @WaterGirl: I see the confusion. He suggested this and I thought he should nominate it:

    …has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

  88. 88.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    OT:  I am waiting for Indian food to be delivered (although I am sure it is not authentic enough for s_c) and I found that I have lost over 10 pounds since I joined a gym in September.  So there.

  89. 89.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    @Ohio Mom: I promise you, those are all on the list and have not been forgotten.

  90. 90.

    Ruckus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    You want me to not say f#ck you are going to have to get rid of trump.

    Because every day I wake up and that shit is not locked up the first word out of my mouth or keyboard is f#ck. And typing # really doesn’t make my day better. F#CK.

  91. 91.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 4, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    @WaterGirl: Haha

  92. 92.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    @WaterGirl: I am doing my best.

  93. 93.

    Raven

    December 4, 2019 at 9:43 pm

    @Ruckus: fuckina

  94. 94.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 4, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    Glad it wasn’t me always calling Dump a Soviet shitpile mobster conman. ?

  95. 95.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 4, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    @WaterGirl: so, can we reverse the “comments” and “post + comments” buttons?  When I get to the “post + comments” button, I’ve already read the post and I just want to read the comments!

  96. 96.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 4, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Hope it’s not Gym Jordan’s gym.

  97. 97.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    @frosty: Well, shit.  I went to the list of nominations and was going to publicly shame you in good fun :-) for not having submitted a nomination, but you were the first.  Triple shit, actually, because I saw that I had submitted two of the 8, and they will, sadly, probably never be approved by Cole now:

     

    “Trump is going to draw a dick on that dog with a Sharpie before this is all over, isn’t he?”  (Betty Cracker)

     

    “Fuck these fucking interesting times.”  (Omnes!)

  98. 98.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: No.  Dear god no.

  99. 99.

    Ruckus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    @NotMax:

    Always a good tune to hear.

    F#CK.

  100. 100.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 4, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    mmm…maize

  101. 101.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    @WaterGirl: Ahem.

  102. 102.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: Sadly/amazingly, you are the second person to ask for that.  It took me awhile to figure out what the first person was asking for, but I got there eventually.

    Unless you submitted site feedback under and assumed name???

  103. 103.

    Amir Khalid

    December 4, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    @frosty:

    I just nominated it myself, because

    • I want my moment of internet fame, and
    • to try out the rotating-tag nomination form.
  104. 104.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: What are you Ahem-ing about? :-)

    edit: I actually thought that might have been you, but I didn’t want to credit the wrong person, in case I didn’t have it right.

  105. 105.

    Ruckus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Balloon Juice, which has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

    This is why I’ve been coming here for so long. My f#cking speech is finally accepted some place besides the navy.

  106. 106.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    @Amir Khalid: And there it is!  Good job.

    edit: did you read the “thanks for submitting that” message on screen?

  107. 107.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    You kids play nice.  I am off to eat my food and watch Inspector Lynley.

  108. 108.

    Percysowner

    December 4, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    @WaterGirl: I try to remember to throw some money Cole’s way. I just set up a recurring payment to help out. It makes me feel better about using adblock here.

  109. 109.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 4, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    @WaterGirl: I also post under the names “BillinGlendaleCA”, “Amir Khalid”, and “MomSense”

  110. 110.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: ha!

    was that a serious request above, or were you kidding?

  111. 111.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 9:52 pm

    @Percysowner: Much appreciated!

  112. 112.

    Amir Khalid

    December 4, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    Only after submitting my own self-nomination.

  113. 113.

    Ruckus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:55 pm

    First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.”

     

    All that for just my last months comments?

  114. 114.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 4, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    @WaterGirl: dead serious request

  115. 115.

    Ruckus

    December 4, 2019 at 9:58 pm

    @Raven:

    Doesn’t convey the same pent up rage as the original.

    Fuckina.

    Fuck.

    Nope, not really the same concept.

  116. 116.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    @Raven

    May as well get one in while you can.

    LBJ

  117. 117.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    @Ruckus: That reminds me of the movie Heaven Can Wait, where Warren Beatty is an athlete who was taken from his body prematurely by a rookie angel who thought Beatty was going to die– and a more experienced angel is working with Beatty to find another body that he can go into.

    At some point, after Beatty rejects one great body after another, James Mason, the older and wiser angel, says something like:  “I’m not suggesting that you lower your standards, so much as broaden them.”

    We don’t need advertisers with lower standards, just broader ones.

  118. 118.

    Mary G

    December 4, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    Pool reporter @katierogers gives this description of Trump's flight back from the NATO summit: "POTUS appeared to spend much of his time tweeting about impeachment and also Maureen Dowd’s brother."— Ben Jacobs (@Bencjacobs) December 5, 2019

    I don’t even want to know about Dowd’s brother.

  119. 119.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 4, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    @WaterGirl: Serious requests from Steve are delivered by a process server.

  120. 120.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: yep, the other person, also. I will have to ponder that one.

  121. 121.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Good one!

  122. 122.

    Ruckus

    December 4, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    @Martin:

    Now that’s an asshole.

    OK both of them are assholes, zimmerman and his lawyer.

  123. 123.

    Mike J

    December 4, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    This is hilarious because the main reason I don’t read Chuck Pierce is that he doesn’t know how to spell the word fuck.

  124. 124.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    @Mike J: And here I thought it was the bean counters who rule the world!  Only to find out that it’s the fucking advertisers.

  125. 125.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    @Mike J: Don’t go away mad!  Don’t go away at all.

  126. 126.

    delk

    December 4, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    Kind of funny but ever since I had my hip replaced in August I have been using the word ‘fudge’. Sort of went with having to use a cane.

  127. 127.

    NotMax

    December 4, 2019 at 10:08 pm

    @WaterGirl

    Remake of Here Comes Mr. Jordan, with Robert Montgomery and Claude Rains.

  128. 128.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    @NotMax: Yep.  Though it’s hard to top James Mason.

  129. 129.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    @delk: That’s kind of sad. Will you get to ditch the cane?

  130. 130.

    dexwood

    December 4, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    Or, you know, you could just not have fucking ads leading to censorship. I’m not alone in my willingness to make a regular donation to this wonderful fucking site. Fuck me, John, but does this mean you’ll be moderating your fucking language? Your place, though, fully understood, but it’s a real haven for many.

  131. 131.

    delk

    December 4, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    @WaterGirl: it’s been ditched. About three weeks ago it stopped being a cane and started being a crutch. I’ll miss getting a seat on busy public transportation.

  132. 132.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    @dexwood: For what it’s worth, that’s why I wrote what I did at #43.  Money talks. Or so they say!

  133. 133.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    @delk:

    “started being a crutch?”

  134. 134.

    James E Powell

    December 4, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    @Martin:

     

    No doubt he was put up to doing this in order to animate the racists for the 2020 campaign.

  135. 135.

    Barbara

    December 4, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    @Mary G: I think she has several, and I honestly haven’t read her for years, but I remember her mentioning one named “Kevin.”  Who very well might be a Trumper by the way she described him.

  136. 136.

    zhena gogolia

    December 4, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

     

    Oh, where can you get Inspector Lynley?

  137. 137.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    Before I sign off, I wanted to mention that the deadline for photos for the BJ Pet Calendar is coming up very soon.

     

    For details, check out the link to Pet Calendar Info, right under the balloon guy in the header.

  138. 138.

    delk

    December 4, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    @WaterGirl: as in relying on it too much.

  139. 139.

    Don K

    December 4, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    I try, in my comments to blogs, to moderate my language based on the usage of the frontpagers. No fuck from the posters, then no fuck from me. I took John’s effusive usage of the word to mean that he didn’t give a fuck and that fuck was AOK. Oh well, then f*ck it is, I guess.

  140. 140.

    dexwood

    December 4, 2019 at 10:27 pm

    @WaterGirl: Thanks. Didn’t see it because I dropped to the bottom to comment after reading John’s post. Catching up now. I realize contributions would be unequal, and, possibly drop off over time. Worth a try, maybe, if an ad provider that doesn’t censor content can’t be found.

  141. 141.

    trnc

    December 4, 2019 at 10:33 pm

    @chopper: “fudge em” just doesn’t have that…zing.

    One of my favorite instances of dubbing an R rated movie for tv was Die Hard. “Yippee kai yay, Mr Falco.” So I’ll just start going with that.

  142. 142.

    Pete Mack

    December 4, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    1. F#ck 2. F#ck 3. F#ck…

    Man it is going to take a while to get to 245,000.

  143. 143.

    JaySinWA

    December 4, 2019 at 10:52 pm

    @WaterGirl: John needs to tell those bon of a stitching fum duckers to go back of in their own jackyard.

  144. 144.

    Jay

    December 4, 2019 at 10:58 pm

    We don't need another postmortem on Senator Harris's campaign, but we do need to examine how legacy media attacked it from day one. https://t.co/GQFwqLMcQx— DAME Magazine (@damemagazine) December 4, 2019

  145. 145.

    smike

    December 4, 2019 at 11:07 pm

    Is this why The Rude Pundit cleaned up his act so much? Ads?

  146. 146.

    WaterGirl

    December 4, 2019 at 11:10 pm

    @JaySinWA: With serious hosting fees, this blog isn’t going to pay for itself

  147. 147.

    Jay

    December 4, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    This is Dustin. His legs work fine. He just prefers to scoot. 13/10 please clear the runway. He has places to be pic.twitter.com/SdswhOeiZL— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) December 2, 2019

  148. 148.

    debbie

    December 4, 2019 at 11:21 pm

    I apologize for my language. I know how to write around forbidden words. I also apologize to those who may be offended by my workaround. I will now use ? in place of naughty words.

  149. 149.

    Manxome Bromide

    December 4, 2019 at 11:34 pm

    I don’t have a lot to add to this thread other than to note that f.lux is in fact the business and I have it (or the “Night mode” equivalent) on every device I own as well. It’s done wonders for my sleep schedule.

  150. 150.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 4, 2019 at 11:49 pm

    @Manxome Bromide: alas, some of us are iPhone users….

  151. 151.

    Betsy

    December 4, 2019 at 11:55 pm

    @NotMax: I believe you mean “two cakes in one oven.”

  152. 152.

    Another Scott

    December 4, 2019 at 11:58 pm

    There’s always “FCUK” if JC was serious about a replacement.  (It’s a clothing store.)

     

    Any ad server that has a dictionary of bad words can be similarly gamed so it seems like a stupid policy for them to have.

     

    Oh well, we’ll live with whatever is necessary I guess.

     

    Cheers,

    Scott.

  153. 153.

    John Revolta

    December 5, 2019 at 12:10 am

    So lemme see if I got this straight. John fucking Cole is complaining because We, the Jackals, are saying “Fuck” too much in the comments? ‘Cause statistics show that at least 60% of all the “fucks” in this joint come outta Cole hisself!

    Just fuckin’ sayin’.

     

    P.S. At LEAST!

  154. 154.

    joel hanes

    December 5, 2019 at 12:21 am

    @Baud:

    Can we replace fuck with duck instead?

    IMHO, we should use “joke” in place of “fuck”.

    Because joke them if they can’t take a fuck.

  155. 155.

    joel hanes

    December 5, 2019 at 12:23 am

    In the before-time (Usenet), it was customary to use the name of the file system check program in place of the vulgar imperative.

     

    fsck

  156. 156.

    (((CassandraLeo)))

    December 5, 2019 at 12:35 am

    @trnc: That’s great, but first place definitely goes to:

     

    Here you go, Larry. You see what happens? You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens? This is what happens, Larry! You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps? This is what happens! You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens, Larry? This is what happens when you feed a stoner scrambled eggs! This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you fool a stranger—

     

    And I can’t decide whether second place goes to the Die Hard line or to:

     

    Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!

     

    I am 100% against censoring “fuck” on this blog, because as others have noted, efgoldman would not have typed “f#ckem” or “f*ckem” or even “fu¢kem” or similar. I’m now curious if “fuсk” with a Cyrillic с (which is actually pronounced s) would would fool the advertisers’ searches, though. (A more accurate transliteration would be фук… moderately, since I’m not really sure what the correct vowel sound is.)

     

    If we have to censor ourselves and the Cyrillic letter won’t suffice, I’m also in favour of using fsck, as joel hanes suggests.

     

    Ceterum censeo factionem Republicanam esse delendam.

  157. 157.

    JaySinWA

    December 5, 2019 at 12:47 am

    @WaterGirl: You may need your snark-o-meter re-calibrated, or I need my snark generator reconditioned.

    OTOH when your advertisers are dictating content, you do need new advertisers. I don’t really give a f*ck about using four letter words, but your advertisers need to be reasonably well aligned with the content they are supporting. The analogy to platforms banning content because of nation state restrictions is just as apt for capitalist enterprises as well. Will problems arise with support for H#ng K#ng if our advertisers are doing business there?

  158. 158.

    FlipYrWhig

    December 5, 2019 at 12:49 am

    @trnc: One of my favorites was, I think, from the censored version of the movie Quick Change:  “Are you out of your Vulcan mind?”

  159. 159.

    JaySinWA

    December 5, 2019 at 12:52 am

    @Betsy: Zuck is having twins?

  160. 160.

    JaySinWA

    December 5, 2019 at 12:56 am

    @FlipYrWhig: We are going to need a euphemism generator addition to transcode comments into advertiser approved terms.  What can we do with Free Tibet?

  161. 161.

    joel hanes

    December 5, 2019 at 1:00 am

    Cole skrev :

    We are going to darken the whiteness of the screen a little bit, and make the text a little bit darker.

    Excellent.

    Thank you.

  162. 162.

    Villago Delenda Est

    December 5, 2019 at 1:21 am

    Objectionable words? F&ck that sh#t.

  163. 163.

    JaySinWA

    December 5, 2019 at 1:30 am

    @JaySinWA: Too clarify, I don’t give a Sh*t care much if John wants to restrict some forms of swearing on his blog. It isn’t something I normally do. But I am concerned that advertisers language police can become restrictive in ways that can kill this blog. What other speech is going to trigger them? The fact that this came as a surprise makes me think there are other landmines in this advertisers contract that we may not understand yet. Are reproductive rights a problem? Uyghurs? Crimea? Fracking? Vaping? FaceBook? Historic Nude Portraits?

  164. 164.

    John Revolta

    December 5, 2019 at 1:41 am

    @(((CassandraLeo))): Mayor Daley (the REAL Mare Daley) always said that the film of him at the ’68 Convention showed him yelling “Fake” and “You Faker” at Sen. Ribicoff.

  165. 165.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 5, 2019 at 2:37 am

    @(((CassandraLeo))): Find a stranger in the Alps. ????????

  166. 166.

    orchid moon

    December 5, 2019 at 7:11 am

    I was enjoying the site without adverts.  Rather rare in the Intertubes these days.  Love the new site, fucks and all.

  167. 167.

    Just One More Canuck

    December 5, 2019 at 7:34 am

    From Johnny Dangerously– “You cork sucking bastiges- you farging iceholes “

  168. 168.

    sherparick

    December 5, 2019 at 9:03 am

    Apparently back to the seven words one cannot we cannot write on this blog, eh. Fortunately there are lots of effing ways around that and will just call on to be more creative as we spread the manure around this site.  Hope this link does not get the blog red flag:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqvLTJfYnik

     

    P.S.  John, thanks for the suggestion about f.lux.

  169. 169.

    Avalune

    December 5, 2019 at 9:04 am

    Submitting tickets and endlessly posting about things you don’t *like* is not the same as posting about things that don’t *work*.

    I don’t like this post.

    Am I doing it right? Where shall I submit my ticket?

  170. 170.

    Nancy

    December 5, 2019 at 9:12 am

    @JaySinWA: You raise good points, thanks for thinking big picture. I was stuck in remembering the time some duckin’ guy wrote, f*ck s*ckity f*ck f*ckin f*ck.” What was his f*ckin name again?
    Probably didn’t give duck enough of a try out this time. Maybe it would grow on me.
    And I like the new site.

  171. 171.

    Nancy

    December 5, 2019 at 9:13 am

    @joel hanes: Agreed.

  172. 172.

    mere mortal

    December 5, 2019 at 9:55 am

    I want to say something nice.

     

    The button that expands the post on the main page is quite excellent.  In the previous version, I often had to scroll down because twitter captures were bigger than the site understood.

     

    Good on your tech team, and I do try to pass through your link whenever I shop Amazon (unless I get there by one of the bargain alert sites).

  173. 173.

    mere mortal

    December 5, 2019 at 9:58 am

    @Just One More Canuck:

     

    Deported to Sweden, though he protests “he’s not from there”.

  174. 174.

    xjmuellerlurks

    December 5, 2019 at 11:11 am

    Goldarnit Cole,

    of all the things you had to change on this blog you chose pudding night!  What the H-E-double hockey sticks???  Tuesday wasn’t good enough was it?  Now I’m stuck with both pudding and spaghetti on Wednesdays.  F#ck that stuff!!!!

  175. 175.

    leeleeFL

    December 5, 2019 at 12:15 pm

    @NotMax: like this very much

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

2023 Pet Calendars

Pet Calendar Preview: A
Pet Calendar Preview: B

*Calendars can not be ordered until Cafe Press gets their calendar paper in.

Recent Comments

  • Omnes Omnibus on Medium Cool – Who Almost Got the Part Instead? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 9:34pm)
  • SpaceUnit on Medium Cool – Who Almost Got the Part Instead? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 9:32pm)
  • WaterGirl on Medium Cool – Who Almost Got the Part Instead? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 9:32pm)
  • WaterGirl on Medium Cool – Who Almost Got the Part Instead? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 9:30pm)
  • zhena gogolia on Medium Cool – Who Almost Got the Part Instead? (Feb 5, 2023 @ 9:29pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Favorite Dogs & Cats
Classified Documents: A Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Front-pager Twitter

John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
ActualCitizensUnited

Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice   

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!