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Welcome to day five of every-bit-as-bad-as-you-thought-it-would-be.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Quick Site Maintenance

Quick Site Maintenance

by | 175 Comments

This post is in: 

Will keep this brief, because Adam’s post below is far more important than this, but I wanted to keep you all up to date.

1.) We are going to darken the whiteness of the screen a little bit, and make the text a little bit darker. We will do it slightly, but we can not tailor the site to every individual person and we do not want to run into accessibility issues.

2.) If you have noticed, there are no ads running right now. This is because we were informed by the new ad provider (different from the old one) that we have been flagged for objectionable content. The two posts that flagged objectionable content were, hysterically, ones by Cheryl and Tamara, two of the LEAST offensive front pagers. I went through the posts, and what got flagged was ***NOT*** the actual post by either of those two, but you assholes going off in the comments. Superb work, folks. We are handling this in two ways. First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.” Similarly “objectionable” words will receive the same treatment. Never a dull moment with you people. Regardless, ads should hopefully reappear in a few days.

3.) While reading some of the complaints in recent threads, I thought it would be perhaps helpful (although I doubt it), if I once again noted that the website is not built for YOU and YOU alone. It’s built to serve the needs of the vast majority of people. Submitting tickets and endlessly posting about things you don’t *like* is not the same as posting about things that don’t *work*. The former is just a pain in the ass, the latter is actually helpful. Also, you codgers, *different* does not always mean *worse*. It just means different. Yes, I know pudding night was on Tuesday night on the old version of the site, but for a myriad of complex reasons, pudding night is now on Wednesday. Please bear with us.

Finally, I highly recommend f.lux for everyone. It makes your screen sync to the time of day, changing the brightness and warmth of the screen. I use it on every device I own. It’s outstanding.

Reader Interactions

175Comments

  1. 1.

    Mary G

    Going off in the comments is one of the chief benefits of the site. Are we supposed to use f#ck from now on too?

     

    ETA: I do love the new features now that I am used to them. Congrats to WaterGirl and you, and I hope you find new advertisers soon. If not, I will pay monthly if I have to to contribute to keeping the door open.

  4. 4.

    MisterForkbeard

    Yes, I know pudding night was on Tuesday night on the old version of the site, but for a myriad of complex reasons, pudding night is now on Wednesday. Please bear with us.

    I would like to register a bug that pudding night isn’t happening on both Tuesday AND Wednesday, thank you.

    ETA: All joking aside, the new site design is lovely and I like the amount of white and whitespace. I’ll deal with any other minor annoyances. Except for Pudding Night.

  5. 5.

    Central Planning

    Can’t believe ad providers will be cramping my f#cking style.

    Since I’m generally clueless to the ad serving business, are you saying that the ad providers are monitoring the sites where their ads go? And that they watch/care about f-bombs?

  6. 6.

    James E Powell

    but we can not tailor the site to every individual person

    Outrageous!  What kind of world are we living in?

  7. 7.

    Just Chuck

    we have been flagged for objectionable content

    What, just because we’re the #1 google hit for “skull fuck a kitten”?

  13. 13.

    chopper

    First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.”

    oh fuck that fucking shit.

  15. 15.

    The Dangerman

    There’s really less than a quarter million uses of the f bomb on the site?! Step it up, people!

  17. 17.

    The Pale Scot

    Well Fucking A

     

    Perhaps you can replace profanities with emotie images of the trump balloon

  19. 19.

    seefleur

    As a daily lurker, I have to say that this is fucking ridiculous – ANY blog site of this caliber should be allowed as many fucks as it’s followers have to give. And for the record, I really like the new site. Not that my opinion counts for even half-a-fuck, but I felt the need to put this out there in the land of the jackals. So there. Two thumbs up for this place/space and its’ minions.

  21. 21.

    Baud

    @seefleur:

    ANY blog site of this caliber should be allowed as many fucks as it’s followers have to give

    Can’t tell if insult or compliment.

  26. 26.

    Kattails

    Oh no being a good Democrat I feel I must apologize for boldly using the f-word without asterisks and whatnot on the new site. Now I feel bad. Thankfully I don’t have to apologize for using the word Baron or Barron in any context whatsoever. oh oops

  30. 30.

    Mary G

    There appears to be another mass shooting at the base on Pearl Harbor:

    UPDATE: At least three victims have been shot in what responders are calling a “mass casualty situation” at Pearl Harbor.

    The base is on lock down as the active shooter situation is still ongoing.

    — Travis Akers (@travisakers) December 5, 2019

    So fucking tired of this.

  31. 31.

    chopper

    Yes, I know pudding night was on Tuesday night on the old version of the site, but for a myriad of complex reasons, pudding night is now on Wednesday. Please bear with us.

    i’ll have a whiskey for pudding.

  33. 33.

    NotMax

    Maybe, just maybe, Comstock & Bowdler aren’t the right fit when it comes to partnering with an ad service.

  34. 34.

    Martin

    This is because we were informed by the new ad provider (different from the old one) that we have been flagged for objectionable content.

    Oh, fuck.

    The two posts that flagged objectionable content were, hysterically, ones by Cheryl and Tamara, two of the LEAST offensive front pagers.

    The fuck?

    I went through the posts, and what got flagged was ***NOT*** the actual post by either of those two, but you assholes going off in the comments. Superb work, folks.

    Fuck yeah!

    We are handling this in two ways. First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.” Similarly “objectionable” words will receive the same treatment. Never a dull moment with you people.

    Oh fuck. Er, fück.

    Regardless, ads should hopefully reappear in a few days.

    fuck

  36. 36.

    low-tech cyclist

    Speaking of the absence of ads, is there any way to enable us jackals to pay for an ad-free experience here?

     

    I’m aware of two sites that offer such an option.  One is TPM which you all know.  The other is, of all things, a message board running on software left over from the early 2000s.  (The Straight Dope Message Board, if anyone wants to look it up.  Started off in life as an adjunct of Cecil Adams’ weekly Straight Dope columns that appeared in alternative weeklies, but took on a life of its own.)

     

    My thought is that if the Dope (as denizens of that board call it) can manage this feat with its ancient software, it can’t be that tough, right?  And it might well raise more money for BJ than ads would.

  37. 37.

    Elizabelle

    we were informed by the new ad provider (different from the old one) that we have been flagged for objectionable content.

     

    What did they expect from a pack of vicious, vitriolic jackals?  That’s actually the funniest news I have heard all day.

     

    Do we need ads?  With all the fucking $$$ jackals pony up, why don’t we just do some rotating fundraisers and live without the ads?

  40. 40.

    Amir Khalid

    @chopper:

    In Malaysia we don’t say fudge, we say fish. Fish is a much healthier food.

     

    I agree that banning profanity runs counter to the spirit of Balloon Juice, which has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate. I hope you find a cussing-friendly ad provider.

  42. 42.

    Chris Johnson

    Pretty sure we could use the ol’ socialist dodge. Fuck! (sticking a bit of formatting in there so FYWP and/or ad servers don’t get wise to my nefarious plans)

  43. 43.

    WaterGirl

    @Elizabelle: Speaking just for myself, not having talked with Cole about this…

     

    I would say if anyone wants even a chance at that being a possibility, everyone who can afford to, and cares to, could pony up what they can – to show John what might be possible in terms of funds that could be raised in lieu of ads.  If it’s a goodly amount, it might get John’s attention, and if it is not, then it’s completely unlikely that that could ever be a solution, and at least that idea could be taken off the table entirely.

     

    Of course, timing is everything, and this is the holiday season, so this might be the worst possible timing for something like that.  It’s up to each person to decide.

     

    P.S. I don’t believe there would ever be an “I can afford to subscribe so I get an ad-free site but you can’t afford that you so get stuck with ads” solution.  But if everybody pitched in what they could, without subscriptions, who knows?

  45. 45.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Baud: What about ‘spuck’?

     

    ETA – “Woo hoo!  Tamara made an open thread about her fucks.  I ducking love these posts!” Hehe

  46. 46.

    frosty

    @The Dangerman:

    I spy with my little eye a fucking rotating tag.

    So nominate it! We can do that now and WaterGirl said there were only three in the queue, a little while back.

  47. 47.

    dmsilev

    Somewhere, buried deep in the server, is a site fuckmeter, and the numbers are spinning by so fast that they’re just a blur right now.

  48. 48.

    NotMax

    @Amir Khalid
    Suddenly reminded of a recurring name now and again mentioned on the old Vic And Sade radio show, the gentleman discussed always being referred to as “Rishigan Fishigan from Sishigan, Michigan.”

    :)

  51. 51.

    Roger Moore

    @low-tech cyclist:

    I’m aware of two sites that offer such an option.

    Linux Weekly News also offers an ad-free option.  I don’t know how well it would work here at Balloon-Juice, though.  All those sites require accounts on the system to control who has access to the ad-free content, and John has always been against having any kind of account system.

  55. 55.

    Roger Moore

    @dmsilev:

    Somewhere, buried deep in the server, is a site fuckmeter, and the numbers are spinning by so fast that they’re just a blur right now.

    And I thought Balloon-Juicers were all out of fucks to give!

  56. 56.

    artem1s

    First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.”

    gotta say, I’m skeptical of content police that object to f-bombs.  Generally the fundagelical types who get their panties in a twist over language and what they consider to be ‘family friendly”, but who don’t have a problem with gun fetishists or misogynistic advertising in general, don’t impress me as the type of advertisers who can relate to the branding of this  jackal infested blog. Can we find an advertiser who encourages F-bombs and flags grammar police instead?

  63. 63.

    WaterGirl

    I would like to poke my head up for a second to say that nearly all of the site feedback submissions have been respectful and constructive and helpful, so I hope you will all continue to use that in the same way that you have been.

    I might, however, have to agree with John that repetitively posting about things you don’t care for isn’t necessarily any of the things I listed above.

  65. 65.

    WaterGirl

    I ❤️pudding, but it has to be homemade, from scratch.  And by from scratch, I mean no boxed pudding, and no pudding from the dairy case.

    I will eat homemade pudding any day of the week every day of the week.

  66. 66.

    Martin

    Oh, this should make a fun news cycle.

    A massive trove of documents, data, and recorded phone calls showing how British company Formations House works to hide money for the superrich is being reported on by journalists all over the world, with the first stories dropping at midnight on Wednesday.

  68. 68.

    WaterGirl

    @mrmoshpotato: I am a pudding snob!  I never thought about it that way, but I really am.

    I just use the standard Betty Crocker recipe – ha (!) I wrote Betty Cracker at first, without thinking!

    milk

    egg yolks

    salt

    sugar

    cornstarch

    chocolate (or not, depending)

  69. 69.

    DanR2

    The entire mainstream internet uses a f#cking white background. Why? Contrast = legibility. A WHITE background it not an issue on a website. I watched you torture yourselves with the last modifications to settle on some weird gray background. People have the ability to turn down the brightness of their browsers/devices.  Why do you let — what, one, two?–complainers with their screens jacked up to surgery-level brightness dictate readability for the rest of the world? Gray = Less contrast. Don’t do it. It’s good.

     

    Make the text a bit heavier, sure. That’s never a bad plan, but you’re well within the realm of readability as it is.

     

    You’ll never please everyone, but this new refresh is looking pretty damn good, IMO.

  70. 70.

    Martin

    In case anyone forgot what a complete fucking asshole looked like

    George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watch volunteer acquitted of homicide charges in the 2012 fatal shooting of unarmed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, is suing Martin’s family, prosecutors and others involved in the case he claims rested on false evidence, according to a copy of the suit sent to the media Wednesday.

    Zimmerman is represented by Larry Klayman, a high-profile legal crusader tied to conservative causes and the founder of Judicial Watch before splitting with the activist group.

    Suing for $100M.

  71. 71.

    NotMax

    @WaterGirl

    On the other hand it’s a handy and ready way to gauge whether any others share those opinions/tastes/preferences (or may experience them as functional shortcomings), not an attempt to impose them.

  77. 77.

    Martin

    @DanR2: With a little bit of effort, people can tweak the site styles in a local stylesheet on most browsers. Set the background, font size, font style, etc. however you want.

     

    Every time you come back,  your local styles will override the site settings. That’s basically how adblockers work.

  79. 79.

    WaterGirl

    @DanR2: I agree with most of what you said.  I feel compelled to mention, though, that the current color is not actually WHITE.

  80. 80.

    kindness

    The people who sell digital advertising have standards for the comments in a blog?

     

    I’ll be damned.

  81. 81.

    Ohio Mom

    I am still having lots of trouble commenting and also, getting to edit function to work. And the back arrow doesn’t work for me. I have an ancient iPhone 5 though, so maybe that’s the problem.

     

    I can manage but I do worry that we are losing commentators who aren’t as determined as I am to deal with the new quirks. Oh well. It’s still nice not to have to type my Nym in constantly.

  82. 82.

    randy khan

    Well, at least it wasn’t my fault.

     

    But it is time for me to toss a few shekels in towards upkeep.

  83. 83.

    Tim C.

    That post literally made me sing out loud the opening song from the South Park Movie.

     

    Which is now 21 years old.

     

    Damn….

  85. 85.

    WaterGirl

    @FelonyGovt: Someone should definitely nominate that one.

    How many hundreds of times have we all written “I nominate this to be a rotating tag”, and now that we can actually do it, there have only been 8 nominations.  it’s shameful! :-)

  87. 87.

    frosty

    @WaterGirl: I see the confusion. He suggested this and I thought he should nominate it:

    …has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

  88. 88.

    Omnes Omnibus

    OT:  I am waiting for Indian food to be delivered (although I am sure it is not authentic enough for s_c) and I found that I have lost over 10 pounds since I joined a gym in September.  So there.

  90. 90.

    Ruckus

    You want me to not say f#ck you are going to have to get rid of trump.

    Because every day I wake up and that shit is not locked up the first word out of my mouth or keyboard is f#ck. And typing # really doesn’t make my day better. F#CK.

  95. 95.

    Steve in the ATL

    @WaterGirl: so, can we reverse the “comments” and “post + comments” buttons?  When I get to the “post + comments” button, I’ve already read the post and I just want to read the comments!

  97. 97.

    WaterGirl

    @frosty: Well, shit.  I went to the list of nominations and was going to publicly shame you in good fun :-) for not having submitted a nomination, but you were the first.  Triple shit, actually, because I saw that I had submitted two of the 8, and they will, sadly, probably never be approved by Cole now:

     

    “Trump is going to draw a dick on that dog with a Sharpie before this is all over, isn’t he?”  (Betty Cracker)

     

    “Fuck these fucking interesting times.”  (Omnes!)

  102. 102.

    WaterGirl

    @Steve in the ATL: Sadly/amazingly, you are the second person to ask for that.  It took me awhile to figure out what the first person was asking for, but I got there eventually.

    Unless you submitted site feedback under and assumed name???

  103. 103.

    Amir Khalid

    @frosty:

    I just nominated it myself, because

    • I want my moment of internet fame, and
    • to try out the rotating-tag nomination form.
  104. 104.

    WaterGirl

    @Omnes Omnibus: What are you Ahem-ing about? :-)

    edit: I actually thought that might have been you, but I didn’t want to credit the wrong person, in case I didn’t have it right.

  105. 105.

    Ruckus

    @Amir Khalid:

    Balloon Juice, which has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

    This is why I’ve been coming here for so long. My f#cking speech is finally accepted some place besides the navy.

  108. 108.

    Percysowner

    @WaterGirl: I try to remember to throw some money Cole’s way. I just set up a recurring payment to help out. It makes me feel better about using adblock here.

  113. 113.

    Ruckus

    First, we are looking for an ad provider with different standards, while we are also going through and replacing all 245,435 instances of the word “fuck” with “f#ck.”

     

    All that for just my last months comments?

  117. 117.

    WaterGirl

    @Ruckus: That reminds me of the movie Heaven Can Wait, where Warren Beatty is an athlete who was taken from his body prematurely by a rookie angel who thought Beatty was going to die– and a more experienced angel is working with Beatty to find another body that he can go into.

    At some point, after Beatty rejects one great body after another, James Mason, the older and wiser angel, says something like:  “I’m not suggesting that you lower your standards, so much as broaden them.”

    We don’t need advertisers with lower standards, just broader ones.

  118. 118.

    Mary G

    Pool reporter @katierogers gives this description of Trump's flight back from the NATO summit: "POTUS appeared to spend much of his time tweeting about impeachment and also Maureen Dowd’s brother."— Ben Jacobs (@Bencjacobs) December 5, 2019

    I don’t even want to know about Dowd’s brother.

  126. 126.

    delk

    Kind of funny but ever since I had my hip replaced in August I have been using the word ‘fudge’. Sort of went with having to use a cane.

  130. 130.

    dexwood

    Or, you know, you could just not have fucking ads leading to censorship. I’m not alone in my willingness to make a regular donation to this wonderful fucking site. Fuck me, John, but does this mean you’ll be moderating your fucking language? Your place, though, fully understood, but it’s a real haven for many.

  131. 131.

    delk

    @WaterGirl: it’s been ditched. About three weeks ago it stopped being a cane and started being a crutch. I’ll miss getting a seat on busy public transportation.

  135. 135.

    Barbara

    @Mary G: I think she has several, and I honestly haven’t read her for years, but I remember her mentioning one named “Kevin.”  Who very well might be a Trumper by the way she described him.

  137. 137.

    WaterGirl

    Before I sign off, I wanted to mention that the deadline for photos for the BJ Pet Calendar is coming up very soon.

     

    For details, check out the link to Pet Calendar Info, right under the balloon guy in the header.

  139. 139.

    Don K

    I try, in my comments to blogs, to moderate my language based on the usage of the frontpagers. No fuck from the posters, then no fuck from me. I took John’s effusive usage of the word to mean that he didn’t give a fuck and that fuck was AOK. Oh well, then f*ck it is, I guess.

  140. 140.

    dexwood

    @WaterGirl: Thanks. Didn’t see it because I dropped to the bottom to comment after reading John’s post. Catching up now. I realize contributions would be unequal, and, possibly drop off over time. Worth a try, maybe, if an ad provider that doesn’t censor content can’t be found.

  141. 141.

    trnc

    @chopper: “fudge em” just doesn’t have that…zing.

    One of my favorite instances of dubbing an R rated movie for tv was Die Hard. “Yippee kai yay, Mr Falco.” So I’ll just start going with that.

  148. 148.

    debbie

    I apologize for my language. I know how to write around forbidden words. I also apologize to those who may be offended by my workaround. I will now use ? in place of naughty words.

  149. 149.

    Manxome Bromide

    I don’t have a lot to add to this thread other than to note that f.lux is in fact the business and I have it (or the “Night mode” equivalent) on every device I own as well. It’s done wonders for my sleep schedule.

  152. 152.

    Another Scott

    There’s always “FCUK” if JC was serious about a replacement.  (It’s a clothing store.)

     

    Any ad server that has a dictionary of bad words can be similarly gamed so it seems like a stupid policy for them to have.

     

    Oh well, we’ll live with whatever is necessary I guess.

     

    Cheers,

    Scott.

  153. 153.

    John Revolta

    So lemme see if I got this straight. John fucking Cole is complaining because We, the Jackals, are saying “Fuck” too much in the comments? ‘Cause statistics show that at least 60% of all the “fucks” in this joint come outta Cole hisself!

    Just fuckin’ sayin’.

     

    P.S. At LEAST!

  154. 154.

    joel hanes

    @Baud:

    Can we replace fuck with duck instead?

    IMHO, we should use “joke” in place of “fuck”.

    Because joke them if they can’t take a fuck.

  155. 155.

    joel hanes

    In the before-time (Usenet), it was customary to use the name of the file system check program in place of the vulgar imperative.

     

    fsck

  156. 156.

    (((CassandraLeo)))

    @trnc: That’s great, but first place definitely goes to:

     

    Here you go, Larry. You see what happens? You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens? This is what happens, Larry! You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps? This is what happens! You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens, Larry? This is what happens when you feed a stoner scrambled eggs! This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you fool a stranger—

     

    And I can’t decide whether second place goes to the Die Hard line or to:

     

    Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!

     

    I am 100% against censoring “fuck” on this blog, because as others have noted, efgoldman would not have typed “f#ckem” or “f*ckem” or even “fu¢kem” or similar. I’m now curious if “fuсk” with a Cyrillic с (which is actually pronounced s) would would fool the advertisers’ searches, though. (A more accurate transliteration would be фук… moderately, since I’m not really sure what the correct vowel sound is.)

     

    If we have to censor ourselves and the Cyrillic letter won’t suffice, I’m also in favour of using fsck, as joel hanes suggests.

     

    Ceterum censeo factionem Republicanam esse delendam.

  157. 157.

    JaySinWA

    @WaterGirl: You may need your snark-o-meter re-calibrated, or I need my snark generator reconditioned.

    OTOH when your advertisers are dictating content, you do need new advertisers. I don’t really give a f*ck about using four letter words, but your advertisers need to be reasonably well aligned with the content they are supporting. The analogy to platforms banning content because of nation state restrictions is just as apt for capitalist enterprises as well. Will problems arise with support for H#ng K#ng if our advertisers are doing business there?

  158. 158.

    FlipYrWhig

    @trnc: One of my favorites was, I think, from the censored version of the movie Quick Change:  “Are you out of your Vulcan mind?”

  161. 161.

    joel hanes

    Cole skrev :

    We are going to darken the whiteness of the screen a little bit, and make the text a little bit darker.

    Excellent.

    Thank you.

  163. 163.

    JaySinWA

    @JaySinWA: Too clarify, I don’t give a Sh*t care much if John wants to restrict some forms of swearing on his blog. It isn’t something I normally do. But I am concerned that advertisers language police can become restrictive in ways that can kill this blog. What other speech is going to trigger them? The fact that this came as a surprise makes me think there are other landmines in this advertisers contract that we may not understand yet. Are reproductive rights a problem? Uyghurs? Crimea? Fracking? Vaping? FaceBook? Historic Nude Portraits?

  166. 166.

    orchid moon

    I was enjoying the site without adverts.  Rather rare in the Intertubes these days.  Love the new site, fucks and all.

  167. 167.

    Just One More Canuck

    From Johnny Dangerously– “You cork sucking bastiges- you farging iceholes “

  168. 168.

    sherparick

    Apparently back to the seven words one cannot we cannot write on this blog, eh. Fortunately there are lots of effing ways around that and will just call on to be more creative as we spread the manure around this site.  Hope this link does not get the blog red flag:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqvLTJfYnik

     

    P.S.  John, thanks for the suggestion about f.lux.

  169. 169.

    Avalune

    Submitting tickets and endlessly posting about things you don’t *like* is not the same as posting about things that don’t *work*.

    I don’t like this post.

    Am I doing it right? Where shall I submit my ticket?

  170. 170.

    Nancy

    @JaySinWA: You raise good points, thanks for thinking big picture. I was stuck in remembering the time some duckin’ guy wrote, f*ck s*ckity f*ck f*ckin f*ck.” What was his f*ckin name again?
    Probably didn’t give duck enough of a try out this time. Maybe it would grow on me.
    And I like the new site.

  172. 172.

    mere mortal

    I want to say something nice.

     

    The button that expands the post on the main page is quite excellent.  In the previous version, I often had to scroll down because twitter captures were bigger than the site understood.

     

    Good on your tech team, and I do try to pass through your link whenever I shop Amazon (unless I get there by one of the bargain alert sites).

  174. 174.

    xjmuellerlurks

    Goldarnit Cole,

    of all the things you had to change on this blog you chose pudding night!  What the H-E-double hockey sticks???  Tuesday wasn’t good enough was it?  Now I’m stuck with both pudding and spaghetti on Wednesdays.  F#ck that stuff!!!!

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