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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

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Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

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We still have time to mess this up!

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

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I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Infrastructure week. at last.

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Technically true, but collectively nonsense

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You are here: Home / Civil Rights / ‘Season of Giving’ Open Thread: Spare A Thought for the Locally-Grown, Artisanal Bigots & Hypocrites

‘Season of Giving’ Open Thread: Spare A Thought for the Locally-Grown, Artisanal Bigots & Hypocrites

by Anne Laurie|  December 6, 20199:18 pm| 84 Comments

This post is in: Civil Rights, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Republican Venality, All Too Normal, Assholes, Riveted By The Sociological Significance Of It All

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At a Pizza Hut. https://t.co/VfbFviFzbf

— Malarksist Revolutionary (@agraybee) December 5, 2019


The multinational big-box kleptocrats, with the Oval Office Occupant as their spokesthing, are making it impossible for the traditional regional hatemongers to get the earned media (free publicity) they rely upon to survive!

Take, for instance, newly-minted reparative-justice advocate and unindicted insurance-fraud Republican Darrel Issa:

"Are we better off spending $60,000 a year to put him behind bars or are we better off with him doing community service and going on with his life with the likelihood of him committing a crime in the future being pretty low?” https://t.co/6PSwYON1sk via @TPM

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) December 6, 2019


“If the soulless legislative middle managers are gonna keep a stand-up guy like Duncan Hunter from voting with us, just because he’s pled guilty to robbing wounded veterans to pay for his golf fees, cigar bars, and at least five extramarital liaisons with lobbyists and staffers… who’s gonna be left to accuse the Democrats of immorality and lawlessness? (ME!, that’s who)”

… In August, Issa announced that he had launched an exploratory committee to consider a potential bid for Hunter’s seat, which prompted him to withdraw his nomination by Trump for a trade post.

The Union-Tribune noted that unlike other challengers running for Hunter’s seat, Issa has not criticized the embattled Republican congressman.

On Thursday, the House Ethics Committee urged Hunter to “refrain from voting on any question at a meeting of the House or of the Committee of the Whole House,” citing a House rule regarding convicted lawmakers…

Not to mention the sad status of favorite blog chewtoy Little Prince Rand, who can’t get any front-page MSM attention for the kind of puke-funnel performance that used to be worth thousands from his donors / voters…

I know we're all used to it by now but it's still pretty crazy there's no political penalty to be paid for just pretending the facts are completely different from what they are anymore. https://t.co/rhVsNbBofT

— Andrew Egger (@EggerDC) December 4, 2019

How rad is it that a GOP that's spent weeks going absolutely ballistic about the fact that the whistleblower was seemingly in brief contact with Schiff is going to care not one bit that Nunes was in contact with one of Giuliani's hilariously shady goons

— Andrew Egger (@EggerDC) December 4, 2019

https://t.co/KpqT1KyxnP

— Robert Rikard (@rgrikard) December 4, 2019

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Reader Interactions

84Comments

  1. 1.

    Martin

    December 6, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    Are we going to just gloss over Trump tasking the EPA with figuring out why his KFC poopies don’t go down the gold potty on the first flush?

  2. 2.

    Mary G

    December 6, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    I don’t want to think about zombie Issa, who is laying ground to lobby for Twitler not going to jail. So here’s a lovely short animated film by Matthew Cherry about a man learning to do his daughter’s hair. Some funny, some sad, and a sweet tear jerking ending, with an excellent cat.

    #HairLove is live! It’s an animated short film about an African American father learning how to do his daughters hair for the first time. Written & Directed by me, co-directed by @BruceAlmighteee @Mr_Scribbles & stars @IssaRae. pic.twitter.com/RRlh2Ncol1— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) December 5, 2019

    Well worth spending 6:48 minutes of your life on.

  3. 3.

    Mary G

    December 6, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Well. I just finished bragging on the site rebuild thread that I had not been in moderation since the changeover and now I am. Too many links and hashtags. Trying another way:

    If you haven’t seen this yet, it’s the best 6 minutes and 48 seconds you could watch of anything today. So beautifully done. https://t.co/dgchjA1Qks— Dan Slott (@DanSlott) December 7, 2019

    It’s a lovely short animated film by Matthew Cherry about a man learning to do his daughter’s hair. Some funny, some sad, and a sweet tear jerking ending, with an excellent cat for comic relief.

     

    ETA: Sorry for the duplication, and thanks whoever let the original out of BJ jail so quickly.

  4. 4.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 6, 2019 at 9:34 pm

    @Martin: I think it’s the hambenders.

  5. 5.

    Mike in NC

    December 6, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    Funny how both Kentucky senators are deeply compromised by and indebted to the Russians.

  6. 6.

    debbie

    December 6, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    @Mary G:

    I think Issa’s laying the groundwork for himself for when his time comes.

  7. 7.

    Baud

    December 6, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    @Martin:

     

    I vote for glossing.

  8. 8.

    David ??Booooooo?? Koch

    December 6, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    No wonder Baby Doc’s neighbors kicked his ass.

  9. 9.

    eclare

    December 6, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    @Mary G:  That was so touching.

  10. 10.

    Bill Arnold

    December 6, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    @Martin:

    Trump tasking the EPA with figuring out why his KFC poopies don’t go down the gold potty on the first flush

    Trump apparently does not believe in American ingenuity, but these Penn State researchers might deliver anyway: New, slippery toilet coating provides cleaner flushing, saves water (November 18, 2019)

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    December 6, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    What leads Darrell Issa to conclude that Duncan Hunter is unlikely to commit any more crimes?

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    December 6, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    @aAmir Khalid
    His trusty Magic 8-ball. Can’t argue with science.

    ;)

  13. 13.

    David ??Booooooo?? Koch

    December 6, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    @Martin:

    Dump has always been a four flusher.

  14. 14.

    Baud

    December 6, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    Are we better off spending $60,000 a year to put him behind bars

    Yes.

  15. 15.

    David ??Booooooo?? Koch

    December 6, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    On a related note, the ? Ducks are just crapping on Utah

  16. 16.

    James E Powell

    December 6, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    @Baud:

     

    I’d bet a Go Fund Me would raise ten years expenses in less than ten hours time. Who’s with me!

  17. 17.

    Raven

    December 6, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    @David ??Booooooo?? Koch: Yea, I’ll watch the second half in the morning. It’s going to be a long day at the Benz!

  18. 18.

    James E Powell

    December 6, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    @David ??Booooooo?? Koch:

     

    Pac 12 is a joke. Really want to see UGA beat LSU tomorrow.

     

    And of course, Go Buckeyes!

  19. 19.

    trollhattan

    December 6, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    UCLA improbably up 1-0 against Stanford.

  20. 20.

    MagdaInBlack

    December 6, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    @Mary G:

    6:48 minutes well spent. Thank you

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    December 6, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    Aaand, Stanford equalizes.

  22. 22.

    Mary Ellen Sandahl

    December 6, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    I’m snickering so hard over “spokesthing” I can’t read the rest of the post properly…

     

    Wasn’t Issa the one who came out with that remark about weird amoral liberals and  intimate relations with snapping turtles or somethinag, back in Bush 2’s time? Or was it somebody else?

  23. 23.

    WaterGirl

    December 6, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    @Mary G: That was me, and you are most welcome!

  24. 24.

    David ??Booooooo?? Koch

    December 6, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    @trollhattan: College game hasn’t been the same since Sonnett left Virginia.

  25. 25.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    December 6, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    King such a dumb ass he things Western Society happened in isolation and not part of the greater culture of EuroAsia? More specifically, is Steven King so stupid he can’t read a map?

  26. 26.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    one of Giuliani’s hilariously shady goons

    LOL

  27. 27.

    The Dangerman

    December 6, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    @Martin: 

    Are we going to just gloss over Trump tasking the EPA with figuring out why his KFC poopies don’t go down the gold potty on the first flush?

    I’m calling schenanigans; Trump likely thinks his poopies are potpourri (with emphasis on the pot in this case, I suppose) and he only flushes after Melania makes him.

    If I’m reading things right, the Supreme Court has made Friday the 13th as the day that they may decide to make Trump cough up his taxes. If the USSC says turn them over, I wonder if he just says, fuck it, I’m outta here, I resign as long as Pence pardons me for everything (so unlikely, I know, but better to call it a day than to end up in jail, and his taxes must be radioactive).

  28. 28.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    @Martin: We can talk about that, but let’s remember that Dump is a Soviet shitpile mobster conman.  Because how he poopoos isn’t impeachable.

  29. 29.

    NotMax

    December 6, 2019 at 10:13 pm

    OT.

    Heh. 91-year-old Mom is one with it hepcat. The entirety of the response which showed up in my inbox to a historical photo of something in her town which I had sent by e-mail:

    “Very cool!”

  30. 30.

    eclare

    December 6, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    @The Dangerman: I’m thinking if the USSC says to turn over his taxes, he’ll say fuck it, make me.

  31. 31.

    Mary G

    December 6, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    @The Dangerman: He and Melania have always had separate bathrooms, and I doubt he ever flushes himself. Probably rings for the $10/hour undocumented maid to do it.

  32. 32.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    @Mike in NC: Sounds like a reason to kick both to the curb.

  33. 33.

    Anne Laurie

    December 6, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    @Amir Khalid: What leads Darrell Issa to conclude that Duncan Hunter is unlikely to commit any more crimes?

    It takes a far more skilled scammer than Nepotism Hire Duncan Hunter Jr to convince people to vote for him *after* he’s pled guilty to stealing from both his donors and his ‘charities’.

    If he’s not an elected official any more, he can’t skim campaign funds to support the lifestyle to which he believes he’s accustomed.

    And his wife is divorcing him, so he can’t even be accused of adultery!

  34. 34.

    Kattails

    December 6, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Because wealthy white boyz. Of course. That’s why we never need to lock any of them up.

  35. 35.

    Anne Laurie

    December 6, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    @Martin: I spend quite enough time writing about that turd Trump; I am NOT going to waste any on Trump’s turds.

  36. 36.

    Jeffro

    December 6, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    Heading to the ACC championship game tomorrow with the family, very exciting stuff!

     

    We’ve been practicing our cheers:

    • “let’s keep ’em a three touchdown lead or less, Hoos!”
    • “Clemson only wins because they’re really good!”
    • “Don’t hate…our blue state!”
  37. 37.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    @James E Powell: Mushroom, mushroom

  38. 38.

    Jeffro

    December 6, 2019 at 10:21 pm

    @The Dangerman: If I’m reading things right, the Supreme Court has made Friday the 13th as the day that they may decide to make Trump cough up his taxes. If the USSC says turn them over, I wonder if he just says, fuck it, I’m outta here, I resign as long as Pence pardons me for everything

     

    I doubt that his taxes show more (on the surface, at least) than he ain’t worth a dime.  Now he can try to play that off to his base…”I only make it LOOK like I’m poor, ’cause that’s how I defraud the government and convince them that I owe no taxes!”…but (obviously) that’s not the greatest argument to be making publicly.

  39. 39.

    The Dangerman

    December 6, 2019 at 10:21 pm

    @eclare:

     

    I’m thinking if the USSC says to turn over his taxes, he’ll say fuck it, make me.

    A definite possibility, but the taxes are coming from the accountants, not Donald himself, and I don’t think the accountants are paid enough to risk doing the hokey POKEY (put your left foot in … put your right foot in … hear the jail door slam behind you … that’s what it’s all about) for Donald.

  40. 40.

    hells littlest angel

    December 6, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    @Amir Khalid: He was charged with 60 felony counts, and pled guilty to only one count. With that kind of ROI, I’d be out committing crimes every day.

  41. 41.

    Kattails

    December 6, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    @The Dangerman: “…and his taxes must be radioactive”

    Chernobyl-grade would probably be about right.

  42. 42.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:31 pm

    @The Dangerman: ?Throw the Trump trash, never let the Trump trash out, throw the Trump trash in, and punch them all about, Lady Justice’s pissed at all these criminals, and that’s what it’s all about!  You stupid Trump trash!?

  43. 43.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:33 pm

    @Kattails: The Kremlin stink can probably strip the paint off a car.

  44. 44.

    Kattails

    December 6, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: $1000 car? $10,000 car? I’m getting my threads mixed up.

  45. 45.

    Mary G

    December 6, 2019 at 10:38 pm

    When he was in high school, “Peter Buttigieg” won a JFK Profiles in Courage Essay award for a piece about how great Bernie Sanders is because he brings the two parties together. Not worth quoting any of it, but the picture of him with Caroline is pretty funny. He’s evidently had this play to both sides strategy since he was a baby.

  46. 46.

    Jay

    December 6, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    No one would be shocked by Nikki Haley's comments in 2019 if there hadn't been so much effort since 2015 to engage in revisionist history & erase the role civil disobedience played in the Confederate flag coming down in SC. She never led on issues of racism, quite the opposite.— Bree Newsome Bass (@BreeNewsome) December 6, 2019

    Y’ll might remember Miss Bree Newsome Bass as the woman of power, who climbed the flagpole at the NC Legislature and ignobly dragged that relic of slavery down,….

  47. 47.

    Ruckus

    December 6, 2019 at 10:41 pm

    @The Dangerman:

    I wonder if his accountants are the only thing besides his lawyers that he actually pays for. In his case they are the two groups that can do him the most damage.

  48. 48.

    The Dangerman

    December 6, 2019 at 10:44 pm

    @Ruckus:

    I wonder if his accountants are the only thing besides his lawyers that he actually pays for.

    True enough. I’d add Dr. Feelgood to the “paid well” list.

  49. 49.

    zhena gogolia

    December 6, 2019 at 10:47 pm

    @Martin:

     

    I’ve been pushing this story all day, but nobody’s bitten.

     

    It’s the only video snippet of Trump that is truly funny. Horrifying, of course, but also funny. “as opposed to once” is my favorite phrase in the video.

  50. 50.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:55 pm

    @Kattails: Both.  And a Rolls Royce, tank, battleship, zebra.

  51. 51.

    The Dangerman

    December 6, 2019 at 10:55 pm

    @zhena gogolia:

    I’ve been pushing this story all day, but nobody’s bitten.

    Hold on. I had to go look it up. He was really complaining about low flush toilets (I had to go look it up)? He must have help to make himself that big of an asshole.

  52. 52.

    zhena gogolia

    December 6, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    @The Dangerman:

     

    For him, the EPA exists to undo all regulations and to make sure we take no measures to safeguard our air, water, or environment in general.

  53. 53.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 6, 2019 at 10:57 pm

    @Mary G: Oh c’mon!  I rolled my eyes out of my head this morning already!

  54. 54.

    Gvg

    December 6, 2019 at 10:58 pm

    @The Dangerman: Actually,I have been kind of surprised the accountants haven’t already complied with the court order…and then I realized that the tax returns probably reveal they are in on illegal acts too and their other clients probably don’t want the attention. It won’t be the taxes alone that show lawbreaking, it will be the taxes combined with other documents to show fraud or lies. The taxes are just the real beginning of following the money. Trump wouldn’t choose a law abiding accounting firm.

  55. 55.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 6, 2019 at 11:02 pm

    @Martin: Please.

  56. 56.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 6, 2019 at 11:06 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: “I hate when that happens”.

  57. 57.

    Mary G

    December 6, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    Adam Florida Man alert!

    Lamborghini spotted by my brother-in-law in Miami. pic.twitter.com/IOgHh5U5oJ— Alexander Nazaryan (@alexnazaryan) December 7, 2019

  58. 58.

    Mary G

    December 6, 2019 at 11:25 pm

    Not a lot of detail, but per WaPo PG&E has agreed to cough up $13.5 billion in a wildfire settlement:

    The California electric utility, which has drawn sharp criticism for its role in the massive wildfires that have ravaged parts of the state, announced the settlement late Friday. PG&E said the settlement, which needs to be approved by a bankruptcy court, would be a final step toward resolving claims against the utility. It follows two other settlements, totaling $12 billion.
    This is a developing story. It will be updated.

    I’m guessing this is from the Paradise fires, not this year’s?

  59. 59.

    Martin

    December 6, 2019 at 11:32 pm

    @The Dangerman: I take this as episode a zillion of Trump wanting to tear down anything and everything about California. He basically went  down the list of the 2016 water reduction standards:

    Under the new rules — which will be the toughest in the country — toilets cannot use more than 1.28 gallons per flush. Federal standards are 1.6 gallons per flush. Residential bathroom faucets cannot exceed a 1.2 gallons-per-minute flow rate. Urinals can use no more than 0.125 gallons per flush, and kitchen faucets must use just 1.8 gallons per minute. Beginning next year, all plumbing fixtures sold in California must meet these standards.

    What’ll blow his mind is that most of the urinals where I am use no water at all.

  60. 60.

    Martin

    December 6, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    @Mary G: This is from Camp, Tubbs, Ghost Ship, and Wine Country fires, so a few years worth.

     

    There’s been no action on Kinkade and others from this year. There are some legal provisions they’re trying to navigate around where suits brought when a company is in bankruptcy need to be paid out before suits prior to bankruptcy. They didn’t want Kinkade victims paid out before Camp victims.

  61. 61.

    cthulhu

    December 7, 2019 at 12:11 am

    The most ironic element of Issa’s comment is how does that not apply to just about every convicted criminal having the same sentence. Imprisoning people is expensive! Most do not re-offend. What a jerk.

  62. 62.

    NotMax

    December 7, 2019 at 12:38 am

    Sigh. Tumbleweed City hereabouts. Balloon Juice After Dark ain’t what it used to be.

  63. 63.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 7, 2019 at 12:44 am

    @NotMax: Can I interest you in some volcano insurance?

  64. 64.

    The Dangerman

    December 7, 2019 at 12:45 am

    @Martin:

    What’ll blow his mind is that most of the urinals where I am use no water at all.

    Obviously, you don’t work at the Madonna Inn (San Luis Obispo).

     

    For those that don’t know, there (or, at least, was, it’s been a while) is a urinal there that is kind of a jungle waterfall and women go in all the time to take a picture while men are, um, taking care of their natural needs (I know as I have been there when it has happened).

  65. 65.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    December 7, 2019 at 12:48 am

    @NotMax:

    Any thoughts on why it’s been so slow?

  66. 66.

    NotMax

    December 7, 2019 at 12:55 am

    @mrmoshpotato
    Plebeian in comparison to some other policies.

    ;)

  67. 67.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 7, 2019 at 12:56 am

    @The Dangerman: I just found a video of that, and it’s weird.  Too easy to pee on your shoes.

  68. 68.

    NotMax

    December 7, 2019 at 12:57 am

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    You go first.

  69. 69.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 7, 2019 at 12:58 am

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Everyone’s busy flushing their toilets.

  70. 70.

    NotMax

    December 7, 2019 at 1:01 am

    @mrmoshpotato

    “Alexa, flush!”

    :)

  71. 71.

    Doug R

    December 7, 2019 at 1:02 am

    How does that saying go?

    “We must all hang together or we shall all hang separately”>

  72. 72.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 7, 2019 at 1:02 am

    @NotMax: Finding the Loch Ness Monster insurance

  73. 73.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 7, 2019 at 1:06 am

    @NotMax: Gene Finds The Mysterious Friendly Toilet

  74. 74.

    NotMax

    December 7, 2019 at 1:27 am

    Culled from questions which pass through the gray matter during insomniac hours:

    Why don’t liquor bottles have child-poof caps?

  75. 75.

    Martin

    December 7, 2019 at 1:33 am

    @The Dangerman: Madonna Inn is still in business? Man, they’ve run that gimmick for a long fucking time.

  76. 76.

    JaySinWA

    December 7, 2019 at 1:56 am

    @Martin:

    Are we going to just gloss over Trump tasking the EPA with figuring out why his KFC poopies don’t go down the gold potty on the first flush?

    Surely people who can master a long press for electronics can figure out how to hold down a toilet lever for solid waste. Is this not commonly understood?

  77. 77.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 7, 2019 at 2:24 am

    @NotMax: Oh those would be fun to deal with while getting sloshed.

  78. 78.

    JaySinWA

    December 7, 2019 at 2:31 am

    @mrmoshpotato: A true hold my beer moment. Finding new ways to open a container while impaired.

  79. 79.

    thalarctosMaritimus

    December 7, 2019 at 2:33 am

    @Mary G: I’d be surprised if he’s even able to wipe himself anymore.

    And now, excuse me, please–I need the brain bleach like you wouldn’t believe.

  80. 80.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 7, 2019 at 2:37 am

    @JaySinWA: Red arrow to red dot, or red dot to red arrow?   Hmmm…..

  81. 81.

    thalarctosMaritimus

    December 7, 2019 at 2:37 am

    deleted as duplicate–I still haven’t gotten the hang of the new site yet

  82. 82.

    JustRuss

    December 7, 2019 at 2:39 am

    @Martin: When I was a kid in the 70s we’d always stop at the Madonna Inn to have a sundae and pee in the waterfall.  I stayed there once in about 2000, my wife and I were having breakfast in the cafe and the owner stopped by and chatted with us for a bit.  Nice guy, I felt like I was meeting a legend.

  83. 83.

    JaySinWA

    December 7, 2019 at 3:16 am

    @mrmoshpotato: More like break the neck off the bottle, I would guess.

  84. 84.

    Tehanu

    December 7, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    @Martin: Madonna Inn is still in business?

    The food in the cafe is good and it’s a perfect stopping place, midway on the long drive from LA to Frisco.*

    *Those offended by my calling that freezing Rustbeltish blob on the face of California by its nickname can, um, be offended.

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