I don’t see anything new in it. Looks to me like you could attach an AI program to Daniel Dale’s file of Trump lies to produce something like this.
Anyhoo, it looks like we could use a separate thread to deal with today’s meltdown.
Update: Nancy Pelosi has sent a letter to her Democratic colleagues. It’s quite a contrast to Trump’s.
chopper
jesus, i really wish our president wasn’t a fucking maniac.
Hoodie
Just saw this on LGM, particularly liked “”More due process was afforded to those accused in the Salem Witch Trials.” Ok, if he wants due process, let’s do an ordeal by water.
Central Planning
I couldn’t get past the first page and I’m now dumber for reading that.
rp
As I noted below, I think this letter is significant because it shows that he cares deeply about impeachment. Getting impeached would be an enormous blow to his ego.
And while it’s true that we basically knew that already, this letter is like a flashing, 50 foot high neon sign.
randy khan
@Hoodie:
Well, with his BMI, he’d definitely float.
Dorothy A. Winsor
I liked the way he was offended by Pelosi praying for him. He says she’s lying or doing it in a “negative” way. Maybe he thinks she’s calling lightning down on his head.
WaterGirl
It’s like Trump is begging the House to add more articles of impeachment, so they can charge him with all the things he indicates would have made impeachment fair.
I can’t believe I am saying this, but why not give him what he wants? In just this one case.
Baud
@chopper: I’m sorry to lose your support.
Litlebritdifrnt
Batshit bugnut crazy. Period.
Baud
@rp: Agreed.
catclub
@chopper:
or was not an old man who had nothing to do but write angry letters to the editor and rant on twitter.
You would think there are other parts of the job.
Dr. Omed
@Hoodie: That came from Miller, not Trump. Trump is too ignorant of history to know about the Salem witch trials. Same with “Star Chamber. “
The Dangerman
@Hoodie:
Didn’t read it but that phrase strikes me as bullshit bingo barely held together with some some other random text; we have “witch” and “due process” there. Even without reading it, I can guess it has words like “hoax”, “deep state”, and “liberals hate me”. Well, 1 out of 3 isn’t bad (in baseball, at least)
MattF
I don’t believe that Trump could write a six page letter, even one as devoid of substance as this one. Looks to me like a typical threatening letter from a lawyer. And bear in mind that sending threatening letters from lawyers has always been a fundamental element in Trump’s business operations, so sending this sort of letter is part of Trump’s behavioral repertoire.
dmsilev
@Hoodie: Do we think Donald Trump weighs as much as a duck? A very very large duck?
Enhanced Voting Techniques
So moar Trump “I’m not the criminal, your the criminal” toddler logic. YAWN.
dmsilev
I think Pelosi should take inspiration from the classics and write back that “I feel that you should be aware that some asshole is signing your name to stupid letters.”
chopper
@catclub:
“p.s. i am not a crackpot”
Quicksand
@dmsilev:
Maybe a horse-sized duck?
Brachiator
@Central Planning:
You miss some of the best stuff. Near the end, Trump writes: “… I write this letter to you for the purpose of history, and to put my thoughts on a permanent and indelible record.”
“Purpose of history???”
Another Scott
@MattF: But, but, Donnie writes bigly letters all the time – in all caps.
HTH!!!
Cheers,
Scott.
(“Who has no interest in reading ‘his’ letter today.”)
Hoodie
@dmsilev: He wants yo to know that he is a very svelte waterfowl, thank you.
Mike in NC
Fat Bastard is not capable of reading, much less writing, a six page letter. Miller and some lawyers wrote it for him to sign after a verbal summary.
The Dangerman
@dmsilev:
…the symptoms for untreated syphi1is?
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Dr. Omed: And yet it called “Abuse of Power” as a reason for impeachment unprecedented. It was one of the articles of impeachment against Nixon as voted out of Judiciary.
oatler.
Hitler called from Hell advising him to be more coherent.
rp
@MattF: Even a semi-competent lawyer wouldn’t write anything that crazy. It looks equal parts Miller and Trump to me.
catclub
@Mike in NC: Miller and some lawyers wrote it for him to sign after a verbal summary.
i agree with that assessment, but I am impressed they kept it in character all 6 pages. The scary part is how those people, and Barr, have become true believers.
dmsilev
@Quicksand: We can start with this:
NotMax
“I am not a crook” worked so well with another president…
//
Renie
even his signature always looks so angry; it must be his permanent state of mind besides delusional
Dorothy A. Winsor
@NotMax:
For Trump, it’s “I am a crook. F you.”
Sister Golden Bear
Reposting from downstairs…
The Hoarse Whisper, who’s an expert on narcissists, has a great take.
https://mobile.twitter.com/HoarseWisperer/status/1207031162344005635
Short version, a calm narcissist thinks they’re winning; an emotionally out of control narcissist knows they’re about to be publicly shamed and there’s nothing they can do about it — which for them literally is a fate worse than death.
If they don’t take his phone away, the coming Tweetstorm is gonna be lit.
Alexa, order all the popcorn. With butter, because it’s a special occasion.
different-church-lady
@WaterGirl:
Ksmiami
@dmsilev: Can’t we just put a ton of stones in his pockets then dump him in the middle of the Atlantic if he floats he gets to come back
Lee
Are we sure this is legit?
I mean…
Quicksand
@dmsilev: I had no idea those were all different ducks.
I see there’s some favorable precedent for this duck treatment.
Betty Cracker
I look forward to Pelosi’s reply. My guess is it will be as voluminous and substantive as that 6-page pants-pooping, pavement-pounding temper tantrum from Trump warrants. An eye roll, perhaps.
dmsilev
@Brachiator:
Sharpies are indelible, so I suppose that checks out.
mrmoshpotato
*takes a guess*
“Uuuhhh Nancy! You’re a total loser! No teeth falling out! No teeth falling out! You’re teeth falling out! My hands are enormous and my penis is tremendous – and not orange, Little Marco!”
Baud
@Betty Cracker:
?
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Betty Cracker: My guess is that Pelosi’s response will be an impeachment.
dmsilev
@Betty Cracker: The only response she needs to give is the one that will come tomorrow, when she gavels the House into session to call the vote.
mrmoshpotato
@Central Planning: I saw it was 6 pages long, and NOPE! I’d rather re-read Nathaniel Hawthorne – the wordy bastard.
zhena gogolia
I tried to read it, I really did.
Tall Tom
So there’s this new idea that when the House finally does vote to impeach, they won’t send the impeachment articles to the Senate, because the Senate has already determined the outcome. Then, the House can keep investigating & keep adding adding additional impeachment articles all summer long. This frees up Dem senators to run for President, instead of keeping them in DC for a sham trial. Good political idea or bad political idea?
?BillinGlendaleCA
@zhena gogolia: I’m sorry.
trollhattan
@Hoodie:
From the same LGM thread, is this eye-opener.
“Not a dime’s worth of difference” one might well observe.
cckids
@MattF: It looks to me as though he dictated it, and demanded that his immortal thoughts be set down as spoken. And that he checked it over to be sure there were enough exclamation points and Random Capitalization.
If I’d turned in such a rambling, poorly-puntuated missive in 5th grade, Sister Rosalita would have smacked the back of my head and made me start over.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Tall Tom: Once the House votes, there is nothing to prevent the Senate from holding a trial. You can point to current Senate rules, they can be changed by a majority vote in the Senate.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Betty Cracker: if they ask her about it, Madame Speaker should just hold up her rosary
but I get the impression she’s sincere in her Catholicism and wouldn’t use it in snark.
Roger Moore
@Mike in NC:
I suspect he dictated a list of grievances and then somebody else drafted it into a slightly more formal letter. I thought the airing of grievances wasn’t until December 23rd.
trollhattan
@cckids:
Quite a few words in it that clearly are not part of Trump’s vocabulary and other bits are him to a T. I believe a blender set to Frappe was involved.
The Truffle
@dmsilev: That is perfect! Also you know he didn’t come up with a list of those “accomplishments” himself.
trollhattan
@mrmoshpotato:
I bogged down somewhere in p3, and could use a counselor or exorcism or nap right about now.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Roger Moore: he published a book-like product in the middle of the ’16 general campaign, I believe, and that’s how he “wrote” it, just talked into some kind of recording device or to an intern with an iPhone, then I suspect one of his less-illiterate sidekicks– Bongino or the ex-caddy or Ivanka– turned into what they thought were coherent paragraphs.
Betty Cracker
Torrential rains and tornado watches in my neck of the woods, so I think I won’t join the county’s other two Democrats for the impeachment rally. :(
trollhattan
@Betty Cracker:
Eyeroll, golf clap, then don the shades.
dmsilev
(ten Internet Old Fart points to anyone who recognizes the source of that without resorting to Google etc.)
trollhattan
@Betty Cracker:
Why are tornadoes legal in December? I don’t understand the rules. It’s fvcking snowing all over the place.
debbie
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
NPR interviewed a Trump supporter who in fact made fun of her “alleged” religiosity (as he implied).
mrmoshpotato
@catclub: Those “other parts of the job” are only for Democratic presidents.
Rethuglicans get to twit all day, play dress-up on aircraft carriers, read about goats to children, start wars on black people..sorry “drugs”, and talk to paintings.
Another Scott
@dmsilev: I remember!!
Danke.
Cheers,
Scott.
debbie
@Dr. Omed:
Then Miller needs a refresher course on the Salem Witch Trials. Due process, my ass.
chris
Gah! That’s quite the letter. Nancy must recite Voltaire’s one and only prayer. “O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.”
mrmoshpotato
@NotMax: “I’m not a traitorous, Soviet shitpile, mobster, conman, carnival barker! My daddy Vladdy said so!”
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Dr. Omed: well, I don’t think the word “Crucible” would mean anything to trump, but I’d bet he saw some of those Bewitched episodes when an evil witch sends Samantha back in time, and Darren and Endora, and sometimes Aunt Clara, have to team up to save her. They did three or four of those every season.
James E Powell
@Betty Cracker:
Speaker Pelosi ought to have a staff member reply with a letter like the Cleveland Browns general counsel wrote to a complaining season ticket holder.
Also, hot tip for any Democrat appearing on the TV for the next week or so. No matter why you’re there or what you’re asked, respond with, “Did you guys read that letter? Was that crazy or what? Did you guys ever think a president would come apart like that?” And no matter what they do or say, just keep responding with how crazy the letter is. Include a quote and start laughing.
mrmoshpotato
@Ksmiami: His trip to the Atlantic is for his hanged body only. (Though I doubt bin Laden was dumped there.)
Roger Moore
@dmsilev:
Is that from Ludwig Plutonium?
John Revolta
Dan Scavino, the guy who writes a lot of this stuff, is Trump’s former golf caddy. He’s also been known to challenge people to fights if they say the wrong thing about Hair Furor.
mrmoshpotato
@Betty Cracker: Just her now-signature Fuck you clap.
Martin
@Roger Moore: No, I think it was the UFO dude. At least, that’s the context I remember it from. No idea what his name/handle was.
Jay
I’ll wait and read the Gollum J. Trump summary on twitter instead.
Martin
@John Revolta: I mean, what more do you need from a caddy, really.
[edit] I mean, other than a hat that will cut people’s heads off.
Betty Cracker
It was in the 70s today. Supposed to plunge into the 40s after the storm. High tomorrow is in the 50s! Brrr!
Another Scott
@Tall Tom:
RollCall:
(More at the link, including Manchin’s comments about wanting to hear witnesses.)
HTH.
Cheers,
Scott.
chris
dmsilev
@Roger Moore: Close. Robert McElwaine.
mrmoshpotato
@trollhattan: LOL! How about someone counsels you about exorcism while you take a nap?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Another Scott:
I’ve been wondering how much we can’t count on Squirrelly Joe these days
mrmoshpotato
@Betty Cracker: :( But will Badger enjoy nature’s car wash and the sky booms?
Jeffro
@Betty Cracker:
Actually, an eye roll ? emoji would be perfect
By tweet
trollhattan
@mrmoshpotato:
I like it. It will conclude with them shouting “Devil, get out!” While smacking me with a rock cod.
And then, cocktails.
patrick II
Do you know what would be a big help to due process? If all of the evidence and testimony you are holding back was brought into the process. Barring that, we go with what we got.
The really sad thing is he believes everything he says. President ID. (In the Fruedian sense).
mrmoshpotato
@trollhattan: The twisters want you to have a holly, jolly trip to Oz?
(Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.)
Jim, Foolish Literalist
OT: I guess this is better than a total cop-out
mrmoshpotato
@trollhattan: How much dancing will be involved with this fish slapping?
patrick II
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
He resents Nancy praying for him because it is more difficult for him to paint her as evil in his own mind. He has to keep fooling himself to keep going.
trollhattan
@mrmoshpotato:
If you’re a Spongebob aficionado, envision one of Squidward’s interpretive dances. Something like that.
Sebastian
@MattF:
Exactly. Followed by a lawsuit.
Redshift
@chris: As always with Trump, every accusation is a confession.
Avalune
That’s twice now that I tried to read it and I just can’t. Not because I’m incapable of reading but because I’m not convinced it’s worth my time. Someone might make the argument that I must read it but I would be inclined to respond with “must I though?”
Am I the only one that kind of feels like there are too many exclamation marks in what is meant to be a solemn letter? And am I for really real reading that the defense is: I said to do “US” a favor not “ME.” Seriously? And for the love of God can someone remind him he lost the popular vote so this everyone voted for me and you just can’t accept it bullshit is just that?
And the witch trial…more due…like I can’t even bring myself to type it. In addition to record highs in things like corruption and nepotism, the level of hyperbole in this administration is probably their crowning achievement. I never want to hear “the most x in [insert history, since Lincoln, ever, other nonsensical timeline] again.
Baud
OT: Aren’t we still waiting for Bernie’s?
mrmoshpotato
@Avalune:
Trying to fry both eyes, eh? :)
Cheryl Rofer
I’ve updated the post with a letter from Nancy Pelosi to her Democratic colleagues.
debbie
At least the letter came out early enough for Colbert to talk about it on tonight’s show.
Cheryl Rofer
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@debbie: somebody on twitter said they want to watch Anthony Atamanuik read the whole thing aloud (edited, dammit). I think that would be a good use of Lawrence O’Donnell’s airtime. Or better yet, Brian Williams. Give Parson Meacham the night off to be smug and platitudinal with his wife and kids.
Edited to give the correct name of the comedian who does trump
trollhattan
@Cheryl Rofer:
Clearly, the Speaker is unhinged. Could she not at least fill a few more pages? I want my money’s worth!
Roger Moore
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I think Trump’s letter deserves the full William Shatner treatment.
trollhattan
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Shatner. It deserves Full Shatner Treatment.
trollhattan
@Roger Moore: Jinx!
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: Colbert and Meyers will have a ball with it.
dmsilev
@trollhattan: Is Gilbert Gotfried available?
Elizabelle
@Roger Moore:
With bongo drums.
NotMax
@trollhattan
“Woman, thou has hit me with a fish!”
– Stinz Löwhard
:)
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@dmsilev: if only Crazy Guggenheim were still with us. He could sing the last couple of pages
different-church-lady
I find your proposal acceptable.
Matt McIrvin
@dmsilev: I loved the one about the decades-long secret US-Soviet space war (both sides run by BOL$HEVIKS) carried out with antigravity-driven COSMOSPHERES.
Some antisemitic stuff in there too, if I recall correctly–he’d fit right in with QAnon today.
Avalune
@different-church-lady: Does this mean that if we determine him guilty we can burn him at the stake? Pretty please?
Immanentize
That really pwnd the Libs, didn’t it?
Baud
Astute Reddit comment
debbie
@Baud:
I think a sizable percentage of his frenzy is because of her gender. He CANNOT stand that a woman is doing this to him.
Baud
@debbie:
“Who does SHE think she is?!”
Roger Moore
@debbie:
It is certainly notable how much Trump likes to focus his ire on women, people of color, and non-Christians, even when white Christian men are doing the same stuff.
Jay C
@Immanentize:
Well, from a bit of what I’ve heard reported on the Intertubes, there is a non-trivial bloc to starboard who are celebrating exactly that: cheering their Idol for “telling it like it is”.
Of course, what he’s telling them (and the world) is either “I’m Nuts!” or “I’m Guilty!” – or some amalgam of both, but never mind….
HuCat
@Hoodie:
…then by fire.
JDM
So what you’re saying is both sides sent letters. And you’re trying to tell me there’s any difference…
Just One More Canuck
@Hoodie: Does he weigh the same as a duck?
West of the Rockies
@dmsilev:
He’s the voice of Jared.
StringOnAStick
I read it (ugh), and I tried to read it from the winger or centrist POV; it’s convincing for the former and for the non political latter it’s basically gobbledygook and lies but they would only know that if they pay attention to politics so there’s a bit of a problem there. To me that’s more evidence that pursuing white working class embarrassed R voters is a waste of time, and getting out the vote in the marginalized, disenfranchised and all diverse communities is the highest leverage move. For R voters this letter is tRump ‘s greatest hits and they know it chapter and verse thanks to FOX.
To a normal and politically at least semi-aware person it reads like the sort of thing you write when spitting mad, but never, ever actually send and never intended to send. I think Nancy’s response was perfect with just tell right notes of dismissive and pitying.
It includes a tick list of all the great tRump accomplishments, including recognizing the Golan heights as a permanent part of Israel. That’s when I knew that Miller wrote it, and I’ve since read it was him and two fellow Renfields.
Aleta
@Baud:
That’s interesting. It also resembles something an abuser writes when (in this case) ‘he’ realizes the subject has escaped his control — so he needs to convince allies to help get the situation (‘her’) back under control.
joel hanes
@dmsilev
I think Pelosi should take inspiration from the classics and write
“I refer you to the reply made in the case Arkell v Pressdram”
joel hanes
@dmsilev:
I’m apparently _really_ an old fart, because I remember that .sig clearly, but my brain won’t quite deliver the correct name. I always come up with Ted Holden, but he was the talk.origins Velikovskian …. ahq!
McElwaine!
Remember Stefan Hartman and the Testatika Free Energy Machine? Or Ludwig Plutonium? Or Kibo? Or Matt Weiner? Or Alexander Abian, and his supposed refutation of relativity?
LongHairedWeirdo
@Dorothy A. Winsor: No offense intended, but, just in case this is a cultural referent going over your head, “I’ll pray for you” is a common way for a Christian to say “I think you’re doing something horribly wrong, or are horribly misguided.”
In the south, it’s considered okay to say something negative, but people often follow it up with “bless his/her heart” to show there’s affection. “My sister can be a bit of a bully, bless her heart,” means I love her, but if you feel she ran over you like a Mack truck, I hear you, and sympathize.
Nowadays, you might also hear it used as a joke, because a person can quite easily turn that on its head – not “I love them, but, wow, what a painful or troublesome issue;” no, they use it to say “what terrible people they are, bless their hearts, see, I was polite, and blessed their heart(s), so you can’t attack me for what I said!”
So “Bless his/her heart” is now also a joking way of saying “I really want to say something extremely unkind”. “I’ll pray for you” is the Christian variant. It’s important to realize that both meanings can apply. Honestly, I think Nancy Pelosi can quite sincerely pray for DJT, if only because she knows full well how much damage the poor sorry bastard can do, until the GOP finally decides to put him out of our misery (referencing getting him out of power, since that’s why he makes us miserable).
Cameron
I demand: trial by covfefe!
J R in WV
@mrmoshpotato:
While Nate Hawthorne is a little verbose, he pales in comparison to Herman Melville, who took a little fable about an angry whale and turned it into a monster pile of words.
NOTE: I got no Visual Tab offering when I did this reply comment, just bang into Text version, which is OK, I’ve taken some classes in HTML, a very long time ago.
Jay
Yup, @J R in WV, it does that sometimes, it also sometimes drops remembering a nym up to ( maybe more than) 3 times in a row in the same comment thread.
It also sometimes drops, ( disappears into the ether, ethering?) a comment when you leave the tab for somewhere else and return.
J R in WV
@J R in WV:
Still stuck in Text mode… also no edit period offered for the original reply comment I added about Melville.
Wanted to add, I will probably read the Trump letter to Pelosi eventually, after the whole saga is over, just to be aware of that stage of his illness. I’m not about to right now, just not in the mood for more fictitious BS from a malignant piece of crap like our current very ill President.
Tom Levenson
@dmsilev: unabomber, right?
H.E.Wolf
@NotMax:
Delighted that there’s somebody else here who knows Stinz! :)
jimmiraybob
Who’s the puppet?
Shalimar
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
That is the opposite of what I would have thought. The complete obstruction blocks Congress from exercising it’s constitutional duties. You can’t pretend it isn’t happening like they pretend the abuse of power was within Trump’s authority.
Ruckus
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
Doesn’t the house have to specifically and officially send the notice to the senate? As they do with everything else.
The actual signed information. I’d bet they do, so that there is an official record of it happening.
And yes, just for the record I have been wrong, once or twice I think it was…….
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Ruckus: That’s the way it would normally happen, but I’m just saying that the Senate really has no Constitutional obligation to wait until the House “sends it over”. But you know how Moscow Mitch is a sticker about norms.
Neldob
Don the conman. I think I will ignore him and write a few Republican senators high sounding letters about party over country and oaths to the constitution.
Bill Arnold
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Well, she could be praying that he gains deep, persistent empathy that can’t be turned off, particularly for those who he has harmed, for him to develop and use skills of critical introspection, for him to develop the habit of humility, etc.
If he thinks that’s negative, well.
Bill Arnold
@LongHairedWeirdo:
I feel dirtier knowing that. Ugh.
Is it possible that NP (Catholic) doesn’t know this usage?