I’m trying to make sense of what this goober pooped out of his oral cloacal noise maker, but I’ll be god damned if I can. Trump is Jesus, but Nadler is Pilate (since he gave Donald Jesus Trump the opportunity to defend himself)?
I guess this is the kind of dumbfuck that you get to represent you when you live in a R+17 district in Georgia. My condolences to any readers who are represented by this guy. Open Thread.
Update: Is anyone surprised this this guy didn’t vaccinate his kids?
Yutsano
They just know if they spout the Gospel According to Drumpf they will keep the fundigelicals happy. It’s not supposed to make sense to anyone outside that world. Plus it makes Loudermilk look like he’s pwning the libz.
dmsilev
They’re whining that the Democrats, primarily Schiff and Nadler, didn’t let the Republicans gum up the works.
Still, I can’t wait for John McNaughton’s The Passion of the Donald painting.
dmsilev
The thought of Trump spending the next week or two fuming about today while waiting for whatever farce of a trial Mitch McConnell cooks up is almost enough to make up for said farce of a trial.
Carol
This is the way the goobers campaign for office, don’tcha know? Plus, you forget trump is God’s chosen one.
dmsilev
“Was it over when the Romans bombed Pearl Harbor?”
oatler.
Collins gabbles faster than Megen McCain.
cmorenc
NONE of the GOP talking points make sense for one or more of the following reasons:
dmsilev
Twitter’s current trends:
Man, I know we’re coming up on the season finale, but the scriptwriters really need to go easier on the spiked eggnog.
The Dangerman
Is it OK to be surprised that someone found him worthy of being a Father?
Yutsano
@cmorenc: You are aware that none of this matters right? Their base could not care less. They’re standing up and being loud for Dear Leader. That counts a pwning the libz to them. Substance is irrelevant.
EDIT: blog is borking a bit more than usual today. Comment took three refreshes to show up for me.
Leto
Bit more accurate.
LeeM
Typical northwest Georgia politician, of a type with Doug Collins.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Yutsano: Did you do a “hard refresh”? Just hitting refresh usually doesn’t work for me.
donnah
Schiff sounded great, as usual, making all of the Republicans sound like chattering monkeys. I’m so tired of all of the testimony, counter-testimony, and shit-flinging by the Republicans. I can’t wait for this process to be over. ITMFA
dlw32
hmmm, I’m wondering if they really want to invoke the biblical justice system where adulterers get stoned to death (Leviticus 20:10)…
Duane
@Leto: My sympathies to his children.
Jay
42 twitter rants in the first hour, on track to break the previous record.
dmsilev
@donnah:
Chattering-Monkey Anti-Defamation League is holding for you on line 3.
karensky
@dlw32: excellent point
Anne Laurie
What Loudermilk means, I’m afraid, is “The Jews (like Nadler) want to kill Our Savior (Trump).”
Always keep your ear cocked for the dogwhistle…
chopper
this guy’s personal motto should be “it’s derp o’clock somewhere”
Jay
Btw, 15 flushes counts as “work” and we have found the ideal install, trial run for the “tilted toilet”,…..
Baud
And thus Jesus sayeth unto Pilate, “More due process was afforded to those will hath been accused in the Salem Witch Trials.”
Enhanced Voting Techniques
What’s Loudermilk’s point? Jesus never claimed Pilate was abusing the law when Pilate condemned Jesus to death for insurrection. The whole point of Crucifixion under Christianity was it was to atone for the sins of humanity in general and not an example of Roman oppression.
As they say, Evangelicals are the last people to read The Bible.
dmsilev
@Jay: Look, for Trump, sending out unhinged Tweets is work, or at least the closest to work that he can get.
All I’m saying is that by the standards of Trumpian Press Secretary Statements, this one is about as close to “true” as we can reasonably hope for.
gene108
So we get to crucify Trump, instead of having a trail (and acquittal) in the Senate?
Jay
feebog
By the time he was done, I thought Loudermilk was recommending crucifixion instead of impeachment. Rather harsh, even by Republican standards.
dmsilev
@Baud: I still think the Democrats should propose throwing Trump into the Potomac to see whether he sinks or floats and thereby determine his witchitude.
dmsilev
@gene108: Mel Gibson is shopping around a script treatment as we speak.
Baud
@dmsilev:
The risk is, he might float.
Jay
raven
Georgia 11 not 17.
Mike Furlan
“I’m trying to make sense of what this goober pooped out of his oral cloacal noise maker…”
Keep it simple, to paraphrase another GOP great, “A noun, A verb, Jebus.”
Ivan X
Juicers, I’m having a crisis. I’m at a bar, and the hearings are on with closed captions. Everything the Democrats say sounds well reasoned. Everything the Republicans say sounds insane, disingenuous, and corrupt. And yet they say it with conviction. I think some of them believe what they’re saying. I didn’t watch the Clinton impeachment so I have no basis for comparison.
What is objective reality? Are the Republicans actually insane, or full of bad faith, or both, or am I so influenced by whom I align with that I can’t be fair? I feel like I’m losing my mind, what they’re saying is so stupid and disheartening.
BC in Illinois
Actually, Impeachment is a win for Donald Trump.
dmsilev
@Baud: As I understand it, that would then mean that he’s a witch and should be burnt at the stake.
OzarkHillbilly
@dmsilev: Just see if he weighs as much as a duck.
Baud
@Ivan X:
I think, therefore I’m Baud.
dmsilev
@OzarkHillbilly: I considered that approach, but it’d be terribly cruel to the duck in question.
Jay
Baud
@OzarkHillbilly:
Like we know anyone with a duck….
Wait a minute…..
OzarkHillbilly
@dmsilev: Good point, just think of the damage to the poor duck’s self esteem if it weighed as much as trump.
JPL
So I stayed away from the speeches. When is the actual vote?
The Moar You Know
Just wow. I am not (and never have been) any sort of Christian, but both the spoken and the one unspoken assertions are stone-cold false.
1. Jesus was rightfully accused of treason and accepted this fully;
2. Pilate did not give Jesus the opportunity to “face his accusers”
3. Trump ain’t Jesus.
gene108
@dmsilev:
With the amount of body fat Trump has, he would definitely float*, proving he is a witch.
* Heard somewhere, probably Science Channel documentary, that the reason float versus sink was the test for witches was to protect men accused of cavorting with Satan. Men have more muscle mass, on average, which is denser and would cause men to sink more versus women.
OzarkHillbilly
@The Moar You Know: Ssssssshhhhhh… he might hear you.
raven
@JPL: Fuck, who knows?? I’m sure the pukes will try to make it “under the cover of darkness”!
Azelie
Tall buildings shake, voices quake…
What a great song and album.
Another Scott
A good non-impeachment opinion piece at Al Jazeera:
Not really surprising, except for the scale of it. But it’s a good read – it’s a cautionary tale for the next 11 months.
Cheers,
Scott.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@raven: I think that’s the goal, it certainly was in the Judiciary committee.
FlyingToaster
@Ivan X:
Por que no las dos?
The modern GOP consists of an unholy combination of true-believers, grifters, and outright whack-jobs (e.g. Gohmert). And some of them are all three (e.g., Gaetz).
You can’t hear the dog-whistle, so it all sounds incredibly bonkers to you. And me. And anyone with time to pay attention and brain cells remaining.
Go do something else for an hour. Dishes. Laundry. Something that has a measurable objective. These assholes aren’t worth going nuts over.
Hopefully that’ll help recharge your reality meter.
Jay
@Ivan X:
some are true believers, the 3rd Generation of ReThugs who grandparents started drinking the Faux/Koch/Xtainist koolaide meant only for the Gullibillies to drink, but instead they served it at every meal.
some are just cynical grifters, who saw which way the Tea Party was blowing and climbed on the gravy train because it’s the easiest job they will ever have, good pay, great bribes, amazing heathcare, lot’s of double dipping opportunity and if you can get a “profile”, keep your nose pressed to the right assholes, post career wingnut welfare that will give you a lifestyle the Rich and Famous would like to become accustomed to.
Mary G
We’ve had the Crucifixion, Pearl Harbor, Star Chamber, and Salem Witch trials so far. Waiting for one of them to claim that Democrats want to gas all 63 million plus Twitler voters at an American Auschwitz.
raven
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Right but I think Smash has a plan for that!
WaterGirl
OT, maybe. I just got this message from the University of Illinois Student Body president. This kind of thing never happened when I went to school here and it certainly never happened when I worked there. It’s all directly traceable to Trump, and I am disgusted beyond words.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@raven: So did Nadler.
JPL
@WaterGirl: He unleashed a world of hate and I’m not sure what happens going forward.
Capri
I don’t get the folks who keep saying none of this matters. Haven’t they noticed the results of the 2018 election and all the elections since? The GOP is losing in places they have held for decades – from senator to dog catcher. Americans know Trump is a crook and they are pissed as hell that he’s being enabled by a party that should know better. It’s too bad that for every MAGA Cletus that is found in some tiny town diner by the press there aren’t 10 anti-Trump soccer moms from the Houston suburbs interviewed to balance things out.
The fact he still has followers means nothing – Lyndon LaRusch has followers, too.
Jay
Frankensteinbeck
@Ivan X:
Varying amounts of both. The thing is, their values don’t make sense to you. From their perspective, this is an existential war. Obama was elected, they failed to vote him out, then Democrats nominated Hillary. I can’t sufficiently emphasize how apocalyptic this is to bigots. All the nightmares they were warned of when segregation passed are coming true. Kids are abandoning religion. Their daughters are marrying black men. Women are working, and men get in trouble for sexual harassment. Gays are allowed and accepted in society. This is a race and culture war, and for all we see the political power they hold now, they see the social and demographic changes and they know they’re losing. They’re in scorched earth mode. No compromise is acceptable. They are the good guys fighting to survive and anything that works is not merely acceptable, but praiseworthy. It’s a cold race war, and like the cold war, not all that cold. Look at it from that perspective, and the entire Republican Party, voters and elected officials, will make sense.
 
Jay
even Brian Molrouny knew that the bribes were supposed to be kept in a paper bag, not as pocket flash.
zhena gogolia
Schakowsky was moving.
Jamie
@Capri: Thank you for this. It’s good to have a periodic reminder.
Jay
Jay
Booger
@Ivan X: Thank you for asking this question because it gives me the opportunity to put down in writing what I have been thinking.
This squid-cloud defense is the ultimate product of the candidate breeding program the GOP began after Nixon failed, boosted along by Gingrich et al in the 90’s.
Run candidates in every contest for every office in every place. Select those with the optimally bland white guy features, newscaster haircut, lapel well suited for flag pins, and an unfaltering ability to absorb whatever Frank Luntz pukes out in the morning telegram/fax/email/tweet.
Embed Cleek’s Law into their Prime Directive operating system.
Program unfaltering devotion and focus on two issues utterly meaningless to the well being of the nation as a whole–embryos and guns. Nothing else matters, just two issues selected to inflame and divide above all else.
No history, no policy, no principles, no governing, just a 100% focus on staying on message without hesitation, conscience or second guessing, plus a singleminded focus on winning anything regardless of the cost.
The Congressman in ‘Parks & Recreation?’ We took that as a mocking joke; they took it as a suggestion.
We are so screwed.
Jay
JaneE
Is that even accurate at all, according to the gospels?
It would be a more accurate metaphor if you said Jesus stonewalled Pilate and the Jews – except that Jesus told Caiaphas to ask his followers what He had said and didn’t try to prevent them from talking to the authorities.
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: How does the recurring earthquake at 1600 Pennsylvania always shake the seismograph the same way?
ola azul
@Ivan X:
An inneresting, tho in the final analysis, an academic question. True, the “stupid or lying?” conundrum will be with us always, but in the end, does it really matter? Also, too: being stupid or actively lying are not, strictly speaking, mutually exclusive.
If I hadda guess (and I do!), I’d say what we’re witnessing is a tortuous extinction-burst exercise in selfish mean-spirited spite that is representative of the saying: “It’s true if you believe it.”
The feral clap-louder caucus is showing their boil-covered asses, but I expect most of em believe the happy horseshit they are saying.
Blinkered self-justification is a helluva drug;
Jay
@JaneE:
ReThugs and Xtianist’s, like the Mueller Report, haven’t gotten around to reading the Bible yet.
Villago Delenda Est
@Jay: It’s only a matter of time before they wear armbands.
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: What Russthuglican Trump trash brought up Pearl Harbor?
Villago Delenda Est
@Jay: “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
debbie
Someone actually found a way to top the Salem Witch Trial comparison. //
mrmoshpotato
Both. Allow me to enter the past 40+ years as evidence. Also, pay special attention to Spicymustardgate, Tansuitgate, the theft of a Supreme Court seat, Blowjobgate and Ronnie’s trickledownbullshitonomics.
mrmoshpotato
@zhena gogolia:
?
WaterGirl
@JPL: I’m not sure, either. I hold out hope that somehow the pendulum will swing and all those people will be shunned by polite society.
Thomson
@The Dangerman: “Loudermilk, chairman of a science subcommittee”… Oy.
Ivan X
@Frankensteinbeck: This was a really helpful response. Thanks! (And thanks to others who answered.)
Jim
His Higness Mr Dictator Trump is White – Jesus and His people were Olive skinned . If they were to walk into America , they would be thrown into jail .