Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

The willow is too close to the house.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

This fight is for everything.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Trump Crime Cartel / Mitch McConnell Can Go Fuck Himself

Reader Interactions

65Comments

  1. 1.

    TaMara (HFG)

    I turned it off a few minutes in. But, I think he just handed Nancy all the reason she needs to hold back the impeachment from the senate.

    McConnel: “Most rushed and least thoroughly investigated impeachment in history”

    Nancy: Oh, yeah? Well let’s just see what else we can find then.

    Not a word in defense of Trump. Not one word.

  3. 3.

    Yarrow

    Nancy Pelosi’s decision to delay sending over the articles must be a good idea because Chuck Todd says it’s doing McConnell a favor. “McConnell does not want this trial.” Sure, Jan.

  4. 4.

    WaterGirl

    I completely agree with the sentiment, even though I have no idea what you guys were trying to watch.  What did I miss while I was sleeping?

    Or were you guys watching the rally from yesterday, which I cannot bring myself to watch?

  5. 5.

    Patricia Kayden

    He thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants and ignore Senate protocols and precedents.  If he won’t call any witnesses and hold a trial, Speaker Pelosi should do what she can to put pressure on him to take his duties seriously.

  7. 7.

    WaterGirl

    I just saw this in John’s twitter:

    Every time Mitch McConnell suggests Pelosi should send the articles of impeachment to the Senate so he can start the trial, she should just put on her sunglasses and say “Merrick. Garland.”

    Please please please make it so.

  9. 9.

    Patricia Kayden

    @TaMara (HFG): Trump refused to provide documents to the House and stopped key witnesses from testifying.  Schumer needs to give his own speech noting these facts.

  13. 13.

    Van Buren

    Well, West Virginia is closer to Kentucky than Long Island is, so John’s wait line at the grave will be much shorter than mine.

  15. 15.

    Betty Cracker

    He’s the worst. I know there’s almost no chance a Democrat can knock McConnell off in 2020, even though his own constituents despise him, but damn, it would be awesome if lightning strikes.

  18. 18.

    patrick II

    @Yarrow: 

    That is not the first time. They have called “their man”, on tv and in Russia’s Parliament. Putin laughs about it. Everyone there knows it. Trump, along with the Republican party, is bought and paid for.

  22. 22.

    BobS

    I can not wait until he is dead so I can go piss on his grave.

    I haven’t crossed swords since I was a kid, but give me a date and time.

  24. 24.

    Juju

    You made it a minute and a half longer than I did. I’ll let those better equipped than I piss in his grave, but I agree with the die already sentiment.

  25. 25.

    Baud

    He’s an aggravating troll, but the only checks on him are his caucus and the good people of Kentucky, neither of which I control. I try not to let them get to me.

  26. 26.

    BroD

    What kind of headline is THAT, John?  Have you no regard for the sensibilities of your readers?  The job of fucking McConnell is far too important to be left to himself.  WE have to do it. 11/3/2020.

  27. 27.

    Patricia Kayden

    Mitch McConnell voted to convict Bill Clinton on both articles of impeachment in February 1999 after the House took only 72 days to impeach him.Now Mitch McConnell refuses to hold a fair trial for Donald Trump after 85 days of House impeachment hearings. pic.twitter.com/1DAH3gbYw6— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) December 19, 2019

  29. 29.

    James E Powell

    @Patricia Kayden:

    He thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants and ignore Senate protocols and precedents.

    Because so far he has ignored them and he’s been rewarded with one political victory after another.

  30. 30.

    Chief Oshkosh

    @Patricia Kayden: Agree with the sentiment, but what Schumer should do is task that statement to a Senator who can deliver the speech effectively. Schumer is incapable of doing that. He’s a lousy public speaker who comes across as a whiny twerp and a lousy leader.

  32. 32.

    chris

    @Yarrow: 

    MOS­COW—Russ­ian Pres­i­dent Vladimir Putin blasted U.S. Democrats for im­peach­ing Pres­i­dent Trump on what Putin called “made up charges,” and said he ex­pects the U.S. pres­i­dent to survive the firestorm in Wash­ing­ton and re­main in power.https://t.co/rfyzvaQHQi— Andrew Restuccia (@AndrewRestuccia) December 19, 2019

  33. 33.

    James E Powell

    @Chief Oshkosh:

    That’s what I’m saying. I know there’s a senator from California whose schedule recently cleared up a bit.

    Times like these, I really feel the loss of Al Franken.

  34. 34.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    Why wait until McConnell is dead to piss on his grave?1??

    First step: burial alive.

    He’s earned it.

  36. 36.

    The Lodger

    There are still toll roads in Kentucky, right?
    The Commonwealth should build one right next to McConnell’s grave. It’ll be a definite moneymaker, just for all the people who drive by and piss.

  37. 37.

    Elizabelle

    McConnell is braying and whining because it’s all he’s got in his toolkit.

    Keep investigating, Dems. I wish the FTF Supreme Court had let stand the lower courts’ rulings on Trump having to produce his financial documents. They introduced a horrible delay into justice being served.

    I think things could go really, really bad for the Republicans. A lot of them are idiots, and they are enabling the worst “president” in history. All of life is not Fox News.

    I also don’t believe the cool kids who tell me that conviction in the Senate is absolutely impossible. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn’t.

    Delighted that Team Nancy Pelosi is playing hardball. Gonna enjoy the victory lap, keep working for Democrats and against Trump and Republicans, and hope that some enterprising team of journalists is investigating the NRA, illegal foreign money, and the McConnell-Chao family finances and there will be more bombshell and whistleblowing before long.

  38. 38.

    kindness

    I want to run a beer concession at MoscowMitch’s gravesite so people will be able to pay their full ‘respects’ to the man.

  40. 40.

    Yarrow

    There’s a lot to work with in Kentucky for a good Democratic candidate and dedicated PACs. Both Paul and McConnell are up to their eyeballs in all sorts of Russian treason. McConnell’s got the China stuff via his wife, too.

    And then there’s the Deripaska stuff:

    Two of the three votes needed to maintain the sanctions against goons like Deripaska came from senators representing a state into which his company was pumping money he’d obtained god knows where or how, and one of whom is the Majority Leader of the U.S. Senate into whose PAC Deripaska’s partner dumped $3.5 million between 2015 and 2017. Oddly, one of the stories that has sunk like a stone over the past few years is the story of how much Russian ratfcking money went into Republican campaigns generally over the past few cycles.

    Link.

  41. 41.

    danielx

    Thinking of adjectives to describe McConnell: I like “loathsome” best, but “despicable” wins an honorable mention.

  42. 42.

    Yarrow

    Can someone contact DougJ to set up a fundraiser for vulnerable Dems in the House who chose to vote for impeachment? We need to thank them for their vote.

  47. 47.

    The Golux

    @danielx:

    Thinking of adjectives to describe McConnell…

    The adjective and noun that always come to mind for me are “malevolent shitstain”.

    I know that can be used for any Republican, but especially him.

  48. 48.

    Lavocat

    Pissing on graves is for pussies. Now, SHITTING on graves, THAT is an entirely different matter altogether. No one can ignore a large fecal mound. That’s turning things up to eleven, my friend.

  49. 49.

    ElegantFowl

    Lots of Americans, probably a majority, don’t know that administration principals including Bolton, Mulvaney, Pompeo are refusing to testify.  And right now 71% want and expect them to testify.  That is the crux House leadership needs to apply leverage to McConnell.

  50. 50.

    James E Powell

    @Elizabelle:

     I wish the FTF Supreme Court had let stand the lower courts’ rulings on Trump having to produce his financial documents. They introduced a horrible delay into justice being served.

    Pretty sure that was the plan.

  51. 51.

    J R in WV

    @Yarrow: 

    Oddly, one of the stories that has sunk like a stone over the past few years is the story of how much Russian ratfcking money went into Republican campaigns generally over the past few cycles.

    This is why I frequently (not quite always) call them the Russo-Republicans. They have been bought, and dare not cross their pay-masters lest those pay-masters open up the books on the donations, which have to be illegal and money-laundered!!

  52. 52.

    mad citizen

    Funny, last night I was also thinking about this exact thing.  I concluded there will probably be cameras, etc.,  and why get arrested for this.  A fake gravestone with beer sales sounds like a good business idea, though.  Add in a graffiti wall.

  53. 53.

    James E Powell

    @Yarrow:

    I know this is tin-foil hat thinking, but how much Russian cash would it take to convince key decision-makers in the press/media to keep that story out of the news?

  54. 54.

    Paul Begala's Pink Tie

    @James E Powell: 
    I miss Franken as well, and I guess it makes me a terrible feminist but so be it. Every time his name comes up I want to relitigate, which is fruitless, but I still feel shocked that he resigned in disgrace while a confessed sexual assaulter is president. I *really* miss Paul Wellstone.

  56. 56.

    Jay

    So… Jim Jordan used anti-Muslim activist Laura Loomer’s email list to fundraiser on impeachment. https://t.co/emgn0BBJBy— Caroline Orr (@RVAwonk) December 19, 2019

    With Nancy Smash holding on to the Articles of Impeachment, I’m gonna take a lap on all those who strenuously argued she couldn’t according to “The Constitution”,……

  58. 58.

    Yarrow

    @James E Powell: That is not tinfoil hat thinking at all. If Russians and other enemies of ours want to influence our society they won’t just buy and/or get kompromat on politicians. They’ll also buy/get kompromat on media people–high level news folks would be very useful–,religious leaders, university professors and other leadership, etc. As Adam says, it’s penetration at all levels.

    Look at the relationship between male high profile news people who got caught up in MeToo and lost their jobs and how they treated Hillary Clinton during the 2016 campaign. Now consider that their bosses knew these guys were vulnerable or at least Russia did. How could that info be useful to get them to frame their reporting, interviews, etc.?

  62. 62.

    Luigidaman

    John, please let me know when you’ll be pissing on McConnell’s grave. I’d like to go along. The more, the merrier.

  63. 63.

    Mike S (Now with a Democratic Congressperson!)

    @Patricia Kayden:

    Schumer’s been giving lots of speeches on the floor and to the news media, but it isn’t reported. here is just one of his tweets.

    Today on the Senate floor, Sen. McConnell complained about the impeachment process and made partisan accusations.

    But in his 30-minute speech in Pres. Trump’s “defense,” he didn’t defend the president on the merits.

    A damning reflection on the state of Pres. Trump’s defense. pic.twitter.com/W4nzs733kx
    — Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) December 19, 2019

  64. 64.

    Jake Gibson

    MoscowMitch and RussiaRand are my senators. So I hope I live long enough to get the opportunity.

  65. 65.

    West of the Cascades

    I’ll be the first to send money to Erik Loomis at LGM so he can do an “Erik Visits an American Grave” with a crowd of hundreds around McConnell’s tombstone, um, “paying their respects.”

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