Another actor ruined by drugs and alcohol. pic.twitter.com/OM6YMlLNp9
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) December 14, 2019
I hear there’s a new one out:
counterpoint: you were going to think about failsons and the corrupt remains of a dying republic anyway, might as well think about the version with lasers and attractive people https://t.co/hc02gtML9b
— Starfish Who Sold Out Botswana to the French (@IRHotTakes) December 18, 2019
1. Exciting if somewhat safe adventure movie
2. Controversial sequel that makes bold choices in narrative and direction
3. Heavily commercialized, largely disappointing conclusionWow, they really did just remake the original trilogy.
— Geoff @ tired (@G0ffThew) December 18, 2019
Even if it wasn't the biggest franchise on Earth, how did they not make triple ultra sure the LOST guy had an ending this time?! https://t.co/paN96yhWd4
— Johnny McNulty, War on Christmas Strike Leader (@JohnnyMcNulty) December 18, 2019
Invoicing Disney $1.7 million for a memo that reads, in its entirety, "you will never be able to please the most unappeasable sour-patch franchise nerds, because they fundamentally cannot and do not want to be pleased." I'd expect them to ignore it, but I'd love that money.
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) December 18, 2019
Anyway, you all should just play tabletop RPGs so you can ruin your own fantasy adventures.
— Starfish Who Sold Out Botswana to the French (@IRHotTakes) December 19, 2019
James E Powell
It will be a bit before I see it – I don’t like crowded theaters. I assume that all important plot points will be spoiled before I go. I don’t mind too much. I don’t go to a Star Wars movie to see a cinematic triumph. I’m just looking for a couple hours distraction for the nightmare of Trump’s America. It will do.
Mike in NC
Saw the first Star Wars movie in 1977, I believe, and never wanted to see another. Mission accomplished.
Steeplejack (phone)
@James E Powell:
I don’t like packed theaters either, but I’d sort of like to see this one before all of the spoilers have spoiled it. The other night at dinner I told my probable viewing partner that we might have to look for a 6:00 a.m. showing somewhere next week. There probably is one!
dmsilev
Haven’t seen it yet, but probably will next week. I’m visiting family and I’m pretty sure my niece and nephew will want to go see it. Fair enough; I was just about their age when Return of the Jedi came out.
Yarrow
That top tweet cracks me up.
VeniceRiley
I think I’ll return to being a Trekker? But I did enjoy the Star Wars area of Disneyland. I’ll see the movie eventually … I’m just not excited or expecting anything exciting, profound, or even the least bit sensical. I am enjoying The Madalorian though! And I am delighted Disney didn’t have the foresight to get a baby Yoda toy out in time for Christmas.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Yarrow:
It is great.
HarlequinGnoll
Gonna go with “if you like fast and furious you’ll like #9, if you like star wars you won’t.”. I’m holding out hope the next trilogy script is all written before the first movie is filmed.
dmsilev
For slightly more down-to-Earth sci-fi, I’ve enjoyed For All Mankind, on Apple’s new streaming service. Alternate-history space race, starting in summer of 1969 with the Soviets landing a man on the Moon a couple of weeks before Apollo 11.
(Fans of absurd paper concept rockets should definitely watch the last couple of minutes of the last episode. Two words: Sea Dragon)
Major Major Major Major
Certainly won’t be paying theatre prices to see it. Might put it on if Disney ever deigns to allow it on streaming services. Looks pretty meh and the plot reads like fanfiction.
HumboldtBlue
Who needs Lucas when you have Craig Evans?
Delicious alien life-forms are better than fantasy.
NotMax
Kudos of a sort is due Amazon (I suppose) for current candor. Ordered a small smattering of sundries on Thursday and the checkout page listed guaranteed delivery in 9 days. Which is more realistically within the norm for shipping time to here than time frames they’ve previously proffered.
NotMax
@Major Major Major Major
As a tech-y person, you might enjoy skimming through this:
The 84 biggest flops, fails, and dead dreams of the decade in tech.
MisterForkbeard
@Major Major Major Major: I’m going to see it on Monday. But as you know, I’ve always figured JJ would screw it up and I don’t have high expectations.
I imagine it’ll be fun and hopefully it won’t make me angry.
Aleta
Major Major Major Major
@NotMax: ooh, thanks, that does look like a fun read!
@MisterForkbeard: I’m curious to hear what you think!
eclare
@Mike in NC: Same. I wonder if I was too young, but I came out of Star Wars just thinking, that is what the fuss was about?
eclare
Just checked, I can get Sexy Beast with Ben Kingsley on my cable. Saw it when it first came out (2000! How is that right?), will watch again tomorrow. Great movie.
Major Major Major Major
I’m doing xmas with the in-laws in San Jose this year, and SJ will never not be bizarre to me. This three-bedroom, one-story 1950’s tract house with no amenities, view, or public transit is probably worth two million dollars.
Ok, there’s a pretty good filipino restaurant in the nearest strip mall, but that’s about it.
The Dangerman
I remember the first Star Wars commercial I saw (circa 76 or 77, I guess); I remember thinking something along the line of “screams flop”.
Yeah, I’ve been bigtime wrong more than once in this life (dating a Lawyer, egads), but that might be the biggest
ETA: Loved the Original. Waited for 7 and 8 to come out on DVD; I was verrrrrrrrry unimpressed. I might have to do this one in a theater.
Yarrow
@eclare: Looks like we’ve started a Sexy Beast fan club here at Balloon-Juice! It’s a very good film and Ben Kingsley is just out of this world good in it.
eclare
@Yarrow: Yep!
Mary G
I saw the original the day it opened, missed 2 & 3 for years before they came on TV, watched the horrible 4 & 5 (that one reeked) in theaters, then gave up and have seen the rest on TV again. I liked the one the fan bois hated.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@dmsilev:
Christ all mighty, were chuds pissing all over For All Mankind. “Go woke go broke”.
I’m not sure how believable the premise is. The Soviets were not anywhere close to getting the N1 launch ready, IIRC. They tried into the early 70s to get it to work, but couldn’t.
I have to wonder if NASA might do what the Soviets did in our timeline: pursue crewed satellites instead of going to the moon. Or perhaps might decide to go to Mars even to one up the Soviets.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Major Major Major Major:
Two million!? That’s crazy! As much as Ohio sucks, COL is much lower. Still, Christmas in SJ should be nice. Beautiful weather, right?
Anyway, I got your email from a few days ago. I’m going to mull over a few short story premises I have and try to write something up within the next few weeks. I know rewrites are common for most writers, but I’ve tried writing stories before (w/dialogue) and it’s been an embarrassing mess
Leto
Just came back from it. All I’m going to say is 1) script? Hahahaha, yeah… 2) about half way through the movie I was done and wanted to leave 3) if you’re going to copy Return, be more subtle about it and finally 4) I’m glad The Mandolorian is quality. I look forward to more of that and less of whateverthefuck the Mouse has planned for the franchise. JFC…
Jay
If you saw the first in the franchise, in the theatre in the day, it was kinda hard to top that.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2RDWuA0F7yU
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Why oh why must the edit button disappear?
Mary G
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
*sigh* “Crewed satellites” should be “space stations”.
Major Major Major Major
Honestly you should expect at least five drafts.
Jay
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/meghara/the-badass-afghan-pilot-who-went-massively-viral-is-now
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Mary G:
I have no idea why they used Trump in Home Alone 2. He literally added nothing of value to the plot. He was really getting around in the early 90s. He and his then wife made a cameo on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air too where Carlton of course geeked out over him. I’d love to hear the stories from the cast on set that day
Jay
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Major Major Major Major:
Got it. Would you want me to write up a few drafts first before sending one to you to review? This will pretty much be the first time I’ve attempted something like this before.
I want to thank you again for taking the time to do this. I really appreciate it : )
Mary G
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): I think he owned the Plaza Hotel where it was partly set & filmed. Doubt he gave them a break on the rent though.
Jay
Jay
Jay
David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): They filmed a scene at the Plaza Hotel in 1991, which he held title to before he went bankrupt. He forced the producers to include him as condition of usage.
Major Major Major Major
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): couple drafts would be appreciated; after you’ve figured out the ideas you really want to lay out, and then think you’ve done an adequate job doing so. IMO extensive polishing is best after feedback so you aren’t trying to perfect something that’s got other issues.
The Dangerman
@Leto:
2 is my biggest fear; I hear this comes in at around 2:25, and if a movie is that long, it had best be brilliant (3 doesn’t shock me in the least, as 7 rips off the plot from 4 to the point that I thought, come on, hire some writers).
lgerard
@NotMax:
The number one fail is dead on
Cermet
Watched it and the threater had, maybe, three dozen people (3:30 PM time frame.) If your surprised by anything in that show, then you must be an orange fart cloud voter – i.e. mostly brain dead.
Leto
@The Dangerman: It was def long and it felt it. Like I hate writing something like this because I want a successful franchise but it is what it is. It’s the same as The Last Jedi: I thought it suffered from poor writing. The concepts it was trying to introduce were good, enjoyed the new characters, but the writing sucked. What can ya do?
PsiFighter37
This is the first SW movie that I was old enough to attend that I did not go and see on opening weekend. The last movie (The Last Jedi) completely ruined the whole thing for me…should have simply put the Thrawn Trilogy on screen, and folks would have been hugely pleased. Throwing out the Expanded Universe was a terrible mistake on Disney’s part as well.
The only new movie that I’ll bother considering as SW canon is Rogue One – that was extremely well-done. Otherwise…George Lucas probably wishes he never sold.
Major Major Major Major
interesting, the prequels ruined it for me, and I liked TLJ a lot for rejecting that kind of storytelling.
Edmund Dantes
It was a Star Wars film. With all the warts and things that come with that. It’s also a JJ Abrams film. So it’s a bit of a double whammy.
Not a great piece of cinema, but none of them really were (closest being Empire).
It’s still good for what it is. And a perfectly fine end to the Skywalker saga.
It was never going to please a lot of “Star Wars” fans as too many of them have gone a bit misty eyed about the movies of their youth, and don’t recognize the same problems are still there. But the same fun is also there.
Most annoying thing was the shitting on Last Jedi scene. It involves Luke and a light saber both times. As I did like where Last Jedi was trying to go with the whole meta “let the past die”.
evodevo
@Major Major Major Major: YES. We’ve had more than a few people cash out their CA property and come to KY to be astonished at what a huge amount of property 700k or more will buy around here…lol – you could purchase a goodly portion of the nearest town for that…
Ken
So did Randall Munroe’s spoiler generator get anything right?
Citizen Alan
Maybe if enough people are dissatisfied with Star Wars, Warner brothers will wake up to what they have collecting dust the basement and plunk a few 100 million dollars into a 5 picture Babylon 5 reboot.
kindness
I saw Star Wars yesterday. The new one I mean in an Imax. Imaxs are always too loud but I survived. It’s certainly a Disney film. It’s sappy and sugary sweet. The story took pains to thread in actors and parts from the first 3 movies I guess to try to mesh story lines. It kinda worked. No it isn’t the best movie ever and yes the plot is somewhat unbelievable but it is a fantasy adventure sci-fi so I’m not going to quible too much about it being impossible. It was 1/3 Lucas & 2/3 Disney. It was nice in that you leave with a positive feeling (no spoilers but the Force turns out OK).
@Citizen Alan: Babylon 5 worked because as a TV show you didn’t expect wild computer graphics or Game of Thrones type Panorama. I’m not sure the story would translate all that well to the big screen. I loved Babylon 5. Campy. Good story arc.
kindness
@Major Major Major Major: If you like NY style thin crust pizza go to Giovanni’s Pizza. It’s just off 101 at the Lawrence Expressway. The rest of their Italian stuff is great but since I can’t really get good NY thin crust out here I always buy pizza when I’m there. They sell slices to so you can see if you like it. Most my California friends don’t understand thin crust with just tomato sauce and cheese but it’s what I grew up with so….
J R in WV
@The Dangerman:
Strongly recommend Ford v Ferrari which does have neat cars, but more importantly has great strong characters which clash hard. Caroll Shelby and Henry Ford II, and one of his henchmen MBA asses, not to mention Enzo Ferrari V Caroll Shelby…
Plus lots of mis-1960s icons, like PanAm and TWA, all those 50s and 60s cars on the streets, and the sports cars and race cars –Wife loved it and shs isn’t really a gear head..
gwangung
Saw it Thursday. As expected, thoroughly mediocre, making all the obvious choices, and executing it in the most unimaginative ways. Does poorly for anyone except Rey and Kylo (ugh!), and pays way too much attention to fanboi wailing (with with at least one plot point mindnumbingly dumb and irrelevant).
WaterGirl
@Major Major Major Major: Let’s hope your in-laws don’t read BJ!
Robmassing
I remember when I was a kid and after the first one which was called Episode 4 I heard there were going to be 9 of them and I thought no way! Quite a let-down, 30 plus years later, to think eh I’ll probably skip the 9th one. (Though I did skip Episodes 2 and 3 after Episode 1 was so God-awful.)
Fair Economist
@Citizen Alan: I loved Babylon 5 – I think it was the last TV series I enjoyed – but for me at least the draw was gradually watching the story be revealed over time. A movie series wouldn’t provide that (or, really, any reboot, now that we know what was going on.)
Jinchi
So Kylo is Rey’s father?!
Jinchi
I disagree. The special effects look very dated now, but at the time they were considered pretty impressive.
Gemina13
@Major Major Major Major: Agreed. I loathe the prequels – I pretend they never happened.
I liked TLJ as well, and found TROS to be a fun, if unsurprising, ride. Then again, I’ve learned not to expect much from Abrams.
Gemina13
@Robmassing: Believe me, 2 and 3 were progressively worse. George Lucas is a marketing machine, not a storyteller.