Ken Starr arriving at the Capitol for the impeachment trial:
Major Toht arriving at Marion’s bar to seek the headpiece of the Staff of Ra in Raiders of the Lost Ark:
Same energy!
I’m not a lawyer, and I’m also not watching the Trump lawyers’ presentation in the impeachment hearing. But my husband is watching it in the other room, so thanks to our open floor plan, I’ve absorbed some of it.
I am puzzled by the Trump legal team’s choice to defend Giuliani’s antics. You’d think the less said about Giuliani, the better, from Team Trump’s perspective. Giuliani is allegedly the target of a federal investigation, and one of his indicted henchmen is routinely providing damaging information to the media. Seems like demoting Giuliani to coffee boy would be the smart play here.
Did Trump himself demand a defense of Giuliani’s activities? Do the lawyers think they have to address it because the Democratic House managers covered Giuliani in all his crackpot glory? Do they just suck at their jobs? It’s a mystery.
Open thread!
Ben Cisco
I think I see your problem…
J R in WV
I too am reluctant to watch or hear the Republican case being put forth by Trump’s criminal minions.
But my Wife the former news hound is a major news junky, and is watching/listening in the Kitchen, just 20 feet away from me. I guess I could reset the router? but that would be mean…
At least the slow bandwidth means they are more halting and stuttering than normal.
But still ~!!~
Hildebrand
I think Paul Waldman at the Post has the right take – its all trolling. Trump’s team knows the Republicans will let him get away with everything, so their play is to shitpost.
cope
They do, indeed, suck at their jobs. Perhaps that is somewhat justifyable since their “job” is to turn chicken shit into chicken salad.
Now back to my recorded show about mass extinctions.
Immanentize
Yes
Yes and
Yes plus
Splitting Image
“We must, indeed, all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.” – attributed to Ben Franklin.
Also, what Ben Cisco says above.
zhena gogolia
Aaron Rupar has been adding laugh tracks to some of the testimony, to hilarious effect:
zhena gogolia
JaySinWA
@J R in WV: Surely there are errands to run or dogs to walk?
What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?
Looking forward to further drops from Parnas and others that “blindsided” GOP Senators. You know what would keep you from being blindsided? Actually investigating the crimes thoroughly… y’know, like, if you want to be willfully blind, you gonna get blindsided pretty much non stop.
burnspbesq
It’s impossible to defend Trump’s conduct. It’s beyond dispute that he did all the things alleged in the articles of impeachment, and several of those things are felonies.
It’s also unnecessary to defend his conduct, because this proceeding is a sham and everybody knows it.
The defense’s job is to fire up the base. If that requires them to egregiously violate applicable rules of professional conduct for lawyers in the states where they are admitted to practice, then so be it. It’s highly unlikely that they will be held accountable.
Emma from FL
Thank God my office is isolated because those images had me cackling like a demented chicken. Can the man be more bufoonish?
FlipYrWhig
“They got this all screwed up. ‘Expert on fighting, corruption.’ Oops, shouldn’t have this Bar Association logo here either.”
delk
That’s a very ill-fitting hat. It’s as out of proportion as Brad Parscale’s beard.
clay
The fact that Rudy went around telling everyone he was the personal representation of the president should make everyone ask well what personal business did Trump have in Ukraine?
Yeah, I’d keep mum about all that if I were them.
MattF
Trump’s lawyers have to be completely shameless, and Giuliani has shown the way. Attacking him would betray an attitude of ingratitude and annoy the Client.
jimmiraybob
Have they gotten to the “If it doesn’t fit you must acquit!” portion of their defense yet?
MazeDancer
Following Elie Mystal on Twitter is always worthwhile.
But his learned savagery of the Trump team is outstanding.
His handle is @ElieNYC
http://www.twitter.com/elienyc
Amir Khalid
What is the simplest explanation? I think it is that Trump’s fingerprints are all over Giuliani’s bizarre doings and utterances. And Trump’s lawyers realise, anything that looks bad for Giuliani looks worse for Trump.
Major Major Major Major
Honestly I haven’t been watching any of the senate proceedings at all. Can’t stand a stage with >50% villains
mrmoshpotato
@zhena gogolia: All too frequently? Well, Kenny… – or should I call you Blowjobfinder General?
These fucking people…
different-church-lady
In which Lawyers, Guns and Money officially becomes unreadable due to a compulsion to take despair porn, give it an intellectual sheen, and dial the
trolling“provocation” up to 11.mrmoshpotato
Ok, which one of you jokers photoshopped that picture of Ken Starr to make him look ridiculous? ‘Fess up!
FlipYrWhig
@different-church-lady: Loomis gotta Loomis
mrmoshpotato
@Emma from FL: There’re non-demented chickens?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@FlipYrWhig: Rudi was bragging about the great job Raskin did defending him, in public
Humdog
So I read that Rudy Colludy’s henchmen were arrested by SDNY, not to actually have Barr’s “Justice Dept” actually crack down on laundering foreign money in US elections but to dirty Parnas up so his testimony, notes and recordings are not taken seriously. Tracks with Parnas’ lawyer complaining that the prosecutor will not meet with him.
As to the subject of this thread, Rs do not care to have persuasive arguments. Certain white men can never be held accountable. Period.
satby
@burnspbesq: I was under the impression that anyone has standing to make a complaint to the relevant bar association? If I was an attorney with the ability to cite the specific offenses against the bar these jokers are committing I’d already be sending those complaints over.
Ruckus
@Amir Khalid:
The simple explanation is that anyone in any way aligned with trump will do as he says or does, and whatever is the worst thing to say or the worst course of action, that’s what he says or does. It’s as predictable as the sun rising and setting. Of course in a billion years that might change.
Martin
So,
a) These guys are idiots.
2) These guys aren’t trying to convince the Senators, they’re trying to convince Trump. Trump already has a bag under his bed holding all republican testicles, so it’s just about keeping the boss happy – as usual. They have no idea if the dear leader schtick will break or not. But what’s worked so far…
brantl
What’s the difference between Ken Starr and a lying sack of shit? The suit, the underclothes, the tie and the sack.
jl
The Tsumpster defense strategy seems to be to turn the gaslights up to the ‘maximum flamethrower’ setting and burn the sucker down.
I think old fashioned theater gaslights had a ‘maximum flamethrower’ setting. Kind of like the 11 on the Spinal Tap speakers. Except this is at least a 110,
different-church-lady
@FlipYrWhig: I find myself thinking: here’s a guy who watches Doctor Zhivago, sees the ridiculous caricatures of socialists turning Zhivago’s neighborhood into a slum, and rather than saying, ‘Wow, what ridiculous caricatures’ instead says, ‘Yeah! We need more of that!’
MCA1
@Hildebrand: That could certainly be it. The specific messages of some of these people are so on the nose, in terms of them being literally the worst possible messengers, that it does seems designed. There’s also the possibility, though, that it’s internal trolling. A ritual humiliation of these damaged people to keep them in line. “Hey, Ken, thanks for joining the team. It would be a shame if the story of you washing away all that bad stuff that went down under your watch at Baylor were to pop up again in every mainstream news outlet, wouldn’t it? Why don’t you go give the country a 90 minute lecture on why impeachment should be expunged from the Constitution?” Then they sit back and laugh at him pissing away any semblance of respectability by turning his back on the most consequential work of his career in front of the whole world.
Same thing with Bondi. They corrupted her, and now they own her, so they can f with her by forcing her to go make a big speech about fighting against corruption.
different-church-lady
@mrmoshpotato: Poe’s law: works pictorially just as much as verbally.
burnspbesq
@different-church-lady:
That’s just Loomis. Don’t tar all the LGM front-pagers with that brush.
Yutsano
@different-church-lady: I love how a problem that affects pretty much only the west side of the state makes all of Washington suspect. Our big issue is fixing our regressive tax system. And it’s BAD. But that’s fixable. And if we get off our duffs we can get to fixing the housing issue too.
jl
Will Starr dare open the Ark of Bolton!!??
We need a test of whether the neocon god is bigger than the Trumpster god. Will be exciting C-Span for a change.
Betty Cracker
@different-church-lady: I almost never comment at LGM because commenting here is enough of a time-suck, but it’s a highly readable blog, IMO. Thought-provoking even! :)
burnspbesq
@satby:
There will undoubtedly be complaints filed, but the disciplinary authorities will hide behind the lawyer’s obligation to zealously represent his/her clients, and conclude that lying right in the face of the Chief Justice of the United States isn’t really all that bad. Letters of reprimand are possible; suspensions highly unlikely, and no fucking way anyone gets disbarred.
I’d love to be wrong about this, but I don’t think I am.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
different-church-lady
@Yutsano: I like how the whole hot-take is “This state has problems that have not been solved, therefore it is failed.” Yeah, big brains doin’ big brain stuff there.
different-church-lady
@Betty Cracker: I used to think it was highly readable. Something seems to have cracked their brains.
Bill Arnold
@MCA1:
I’m liking this theory. Make her deny it. (Gah, that’s unethical, sigh. Unless it is true.)
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Bill Arnold
@different-church-lady:
On LGM, just be careful to note the byline before reading.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Holy crap– switched on MSNBC on line in time to hear this idiot trying to stammer out a trump campaign commercial about lower taxes and secure borders. Audience of one syndrome strikes again
ETA: Eric Herschmann, somebody said earlier on twitter he’s from the Kassowitz firm.
Ruviana
@different-church-lady: For Loomis I think it was getting tenure. He’s been a lot more cranky and humorless since then.
dmsilev
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:Now, now, it’s vital to distinguish between “repercussions” (fine, no problem) and “pikes” (terribly uncivil, fainting couches and pearl-clutching ahoy!).
oatler.
@different-church-lady:
“That’s some quality brainin’ there, Chief.”
WereBear
Many of you are assuming they think. Facts not in evidence.
FlipYrWhig
@Ruviana: To be fair he was always cranky and humorless.
MattF
OT. Dow down 450 points.
Ruckus
@different-church-lady:
Could you really blame any of us if our brains went on strike for the duration? Not that that’s a good thing but still, some of us don’t drink.
Immanentize
@different-church-lady: but but. That’s their niche!
trollhattan
Unable to drag myself into it, excerpts will have to do.
And with that, does it matter–at all–what the Trump team says or who says it? Could they dust off Ted’s copy of “Green Eggs and Ham” and have Falwell Jr. read it serially for a few hours and accomplish what they’re there to do? Wouldn’t Joni Ernst chime in that in a mere few pages, this Seuss fellow has “utterly dismantled the Democrat charges”?
Willard et al will remain silent when the question of witnesses arises and a vote will be taken. Trump will Tweeter Huzzahs and Vindications. Hannity’s hair will slightly quiver.
trollhattan
@MattF:
The Kobe effect.
Immanentize
@Humdog:
This has happened to me. Easy solution. File a motion for a hearing and have your meeting in front of the Judge. What Parnas is doing is the time honored effort called “grey-mailing.”. You won’t talk and give me a deal, then we will explain publically why you should. Grey-mailing also includes sending subpoenas to confidential informants and making requests for classified/intelligence material that clearly would help your client.
Ella in New Mexico
@zhena gogolia: Those are awesome
Bookdragon
There a resemblance in the pictures, but I think my daughter is right: it’s Mulvenay who makes me think of Major Toht.
Bill Arnold
The fact checkers will need to do a very long piece on today’s “defense” presentations. It’ll be like fishing with dynamite in a barrel.
debbie
I listened to Starr at work. I swear he sounded like he was about to start crying at the end. Was he?
Immanentize
@satby: Bar associations are very weak regulatory agencies. They exist to help lawyers, not sanction them. There is a huge inherent conflict in that structure.
debbie
@Ben Cisco:
Rudi Giuliani is no Clarence Darrow. Jesus, I almost drove off the road when I heard that snippet.
Immanentize
For those following at home, many know of my burning un-resprct of Dershowitz. As G&T said, his mind was a victim of 9/11. That is true but Douche-owitz long lurked inside Dershowitz….
That said, this is one of the most true things ever said about criminal justice by Alan D. before he was a total scab in 1982:
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: How DARE Adam Schiff repeat a threat that someone else said?!?!?! The incivility of both sides!
mrmoshpotato
@trollhattan: Sorry, this is different. It calls for Go Dog Go.
And I do not like your hat.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
the assumption is that this is Toomey’s version of the Ted Cruz Bolton-for-Hunte
ETA: Why is Chris Matthews still with MSNBC? with us at all?
mrmoshpotato
@Bill Arnold: Trying to kill fact checkers with exhaustion, eh?
“Make a button that just yells ‘Bullshit!'”
“What if we break the button?”
“Make 50 of ’em!”
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: You’re driving while listening to this?!
geg6
@different-church-lady:
Agreed. But I just can’t give up “Erik Visits an American Grave.” It’s his best stuff. Otherwise, lately he’s been a bit unreadable.
debbie
@mrmoshpotato:
I thought it would make me stronger. I was wrong.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@debbie:
one of trump’s lawyers said that?
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Immanentize:
That’s weird to me. Lawyers are a very important profession. State Boards of Nursing have the force of law on their side and they can and will suspend or revoke an RN license if violations have occurred. Which makes sense considering that life and death decisions often happen in healthcare. Still, I think bar associations should have stronger regulatory powers
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@different-church-lady:
I think LGM is too depressing to read myself. The comments are the worst. “We’re all doomed and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.”
Immanentize
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): They have strong powers. But, regulatory capture by the members.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: Haha
chopper
@different-church-lady:
forget it jake, it’s erik loomis.
debbie
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I was typing too fast. She said Rudi embodied all the qualitiesClarence Darrow wanted in a defense attorney.
Of course, Rudi’s never been a defense attorney.
hilts
I don’t need to hear lectures about law, civics, or any other subject from America’s most infamous panty sniffer Ken Starr.
Carol
Giuliani probably has enough dirt on trump to put him jail for a long time. Gotta be nice to rudy.
West of the Cascades
Oooh – does this movie end with Ken Starr’s face melting when he opens Bolton’s book??