I haven’t had much to say about the complete shitshow that is the Senate impeachment trial because I really have nothing to add and I am aware that my abject cynicism regarding what I consider the inevitable outcome of this farce is offputting to others, but the whole thing is just fucking ridiculous. The House Impeachment Managers presented a clear a case for the removal of Trump as was possible given the “rules” of the trial set by that fucking traitor Mitch McConnell, and everything else is a sad fucking joke on the rest of us, from the Senators being unable to stay in their god damned seats to the oh fuck it why bother, you’re watching the same god damned thing.
When I was a young man, growing up in a college town, I spent a great deal of time at the college radio station. I got my FCC license when I was 14 back when that was a thing, and I had my own shows with my own time slots but I also spent a great deal of time serving as the engineer for the Monday Night Oldies show and for the Ashborne Hour (which was actually three hours) on Tuesday nights playing classical music. This was back when everything wasn’t automated and you actually had turntables and otari reel-to-reels, and my purpose was to control the show while the two older gentleman who hosted the shows chose the music and did the talking.
The fellow who did the Monday Night Oldies show was a fellow named John Graham, and he was kind of a big deal in the Pittsburgh Music scene (I’m friends with his son and still am, and his wife just died two weeks ago), and he loved to take me to the old reunion tours of 50’s music stars. So I got to go to a lot of those old reunion tour shows you see being played at sad venues that usually accompany a complimentary dinner of swiss steak and lots of mashed potatoes. At any rate, I saw a lot of the old last hurrah tours of people like Jimmy Beaumont and the Skyliners, etc. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was precisely the kind of music that a 16 year old stoned deadhead would have as his first choice for entertainment, but, you know, it is experiences like that that made me who I am today.
Why am I telling you this? Because that is what the Trump defense reminds me of- the last hurrah tour of old white douchebags from the 80’s and 90’s gathered together for one last rendition of Blue Moon or Pennies from Heaven or Frankie Valli’s greatest hits (he is STILL alive, fwiw). You’ve got panty-sniffing serial leaker Ken Starr, who graduated from the Clinton trial to covering up sex crimes at Baylor, you’ve got serial predator and Martha’s Vineyard outcast Alan Dershowitz, perennial lunatic Jay Sekulow, and a cadre of other shitstains and ne’er do wells stinking up the joint and collectively making the American people dumber.
Imagine a murder trial where the prosecution is not allowed to introduce forensic evidence, talk to the witnesses, interview the police, examine the murder weapon or the autopsy report, followed by three days of the defense screaming “the prosecution provided no evidence.” Meanwhile the accused is sitting in his chair screaming that he is going to do the same thing to the prosecutor that he did to the victim and threatening the jury pool, and no one seems to notice or care. There’s the Trump impeachment in a nutshell.
The Bolton book apparently has some of the Senators slightly freaked out about just how fucking bad history is going to judge them, so now they are baking up some half-cooked idea that will get lots of media time but never come to fruition:
Sen. Patrick J. Toomey (R-Pa.), an influential conservative in the Senate, has spoken with several colleagues in recent days about possibly summoning just two witnesses to President Trump’s impeachment trial, with one called by Republicans and one by Democrats, according to three Republican officials.
Toomey has confided to GOP senators that proposing a “one-for-one” deal with Senate Democrats may be necessary at some point, particularly with pressure mounting for witnesses to be called, according to the officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private conversations. He has argued that such an arrangement could force Democrats to accept a Republican witness against their wishes or else risk having Republicans move ahead to acquit Trump, the officials said.
Toomey has spoken about his idea with Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) and others, the officials added.
Why does there need to be a one for one? Are we this obeisant to the God of both sides that we need to “balance out” the witnesses? Why not just bring the witnesses who have something relevant to say, and if they don’t, well, don’t bring them. If that means the prosecution has 10, and the defense has only two, or vice versa, so be it.
But you know the answer, don’t you? BECAUSE HE’S FUCKING GUILTY, that’s why.