Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Stand up, dammit!

No Kings: Americans standing in the way of bad history saying “Oh, Fuck No!”

All hail the time of the bunny!

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Let there be snark.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

They spent the last eight months firing professionals and replacing them with ideologues.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

T R E 4 5 O N

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / What Do Betty Cracker, Steeplejack, OzarkHillbilly and satby All Have in Common?

What Do Betty Cracker, Steeplejack, OzarkHillbilly and satby All Have in Common?

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This post is in: 

What do Betty Cracker, Steeplejack, OzarkHillbilly and Satby all have in common?

You get three guesses! You get 15 minutes to make your guesses. (15 minutes from the first guess.)

If you win, you get a hearty handshake and a pat on the back – the coveted prize for callers to WLS radio as I was going up.

Bonus question for the pedants among us: If it’s in a title is it more correct to include satby in upper case (because it’s in the title) or lower case out of respect for her nym?

mr. bear closeup

Reader Interactions

236Comments

  5. 5.

    SiubhanDuinne

    They are the four most prolific commenters by some completely arbitrary metric?

    I got nuthin.

  7. 7.

    Spinoza Is My Co-pilot

    “Woke” crackers fighting the good fight behind enemy lines in the old Confederacy?

    Only sometimes pedantic, I say lower case.

  11. 11.

    dmsilev

    They are, all four of them, separate earthly aspects of an eternal, prolific, yet somewhat confused, demigod?

  13. 13.

    Elizabelle

    They’re all knitting scarves for Penny Pearl duck too?  Secretly.

    Cuz we know MomSense is.

  15. 15.

    WaterGirl

    @Elizabelle: I know!  I was kind of worried when TaMara said she had just sent measurements for Penelope to MomSense, and I knew she had already finished one of the scarves.

    What if the scarf doesn’t fit? :-)

  24. 24.

    cope

    Since lower case satby is that person’s choice as a name, lower case it should be in a title.  Disclaimer: not a pedant.

  29. 29.

    WaterGirl

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Well, give us a hint. Do they share this commonality with any other jackals, or is the quality unique to these four?

    Those 4 are the only current jackals who have this particular thing in common.

  31. 31.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    Something to do with dogs? I’m so bad at identifying breeds that I always think of Badger as a “badger dog.”

  40. 40.

    WaterGirl

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: Someone referred to Badger as “Baxter” earlier this week, and I knew that wasn’t right, but it took a bit for me to remember the right name.

    I ❤️Badger.  When I was endlessly testing the new site before official testing got started, it got to the point where I would put a picture of Badger in my test posts to make it more bearable.

  41. 41.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    They all have dogs named after other species?

    ETA: I ❤️ Badger, too, and I’m not much of a dog person. Obviously. I mean, I wish other people’s dogs well, but from a distance.

  45. 45.

    Another Scott

    They were official testers of the beta version and filled out the forms correctly?

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  47. 47.

    WaterGirl

    @Another Scott:

    They were official testers of the beta version and filled out the forms correctly?

    I’m not sure there were 4 people, total, who did that.  (just kidding)

    That is not the answer I am looking for.

  51. 51.

    WaterGirl

    @Baud:

    They are all in fact highly evolved dogs?

    This could be true!  But not the answer I am looking for.

    Clue: But there have been 3 answers that are in the ballpark, so to speak.

  53. 53.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    My cousin has a dog named Daisy Duck. But since I have absolutely no idea how or why I’m even close to the right answer, Imma sit the rest of this out.

  63. 63.

    WaterGirl

    @satby: So sad that Baud talked earlier about letting the (shudder) snakes eat the mice at his house.  There went all my plans to propose to Baud on Valentine’s Day.

  65. 65.

    mrmoshpotato

    Can you guess multiple guesses?

    They’re all Juicers?

    They’re all American?

    They all live in the continental United States?

    ETA – Multi-syllabic nyms?

  69. 69.

    WaterGirl

    @Elizabelle:

    Cole is going to pick one of their names out of a hat and — “Hello, Thurston!”

    I am willing to accept bribes from any of those 4 who do not want to take the risk of Cole seeing your idea, so (sorry!) I would consider accepting baked goods in return for deleting your comment.  Even though it’s excellent!

  71. 71.

    Another Scott

    When their names are transliterated to Hungarian, they can be typed with just the left hand??

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  79. 79.

    debbie

    They’re the only four who haven’t screwed up a link or something similar and needed rescuing.

  82. 82.

    WaterGirl

    @debbie:

    They’re the only four who haven’t screwed up a link or something similar and needed rescuing.

    That’s a good one!  I am having fun.  Maybe we should play this game once a week.

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I think all four could be considered self-employed — but surely that’s true of a great many other jackals.

  103. 103.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    @la caterina: I would say they all failed geometry, but clearly that would make at least five people here who did.

     

    (I keed, I keed.)

  108. 108.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Sab: Ding ding ding ding WRONG. In my case anyway. If it wasn’t for my wife I would have found something productive to do with my time.

  112. 112.

    SiubhanDuinne

    It seems from WG’s hints and “you’re getting warm”s that the answer has something to do with pets. But what specifically it is that no other Juicer shares … I’m at a loss. (BUT DON’T TELL US YET!!)

  119. 119.

    Felanius Kootea

    It’s clearly something to do with pets but I can’t figure out what. They’ve all had a pet with the same name?

  127. 127.

    The Dangerman

    What are 4 people who have never been in my kitchen?

    /cliff

    ETA: Only missed it by 63.

    /maxwell

  130. 130.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Elizabelle:

    I am currently clad in, uh, “loungewear.” You all know that I follow the efgoldman philosophy  that tactical gear (pants!) is for going outside.

  131. 131.

    zhena gogolia

    They were at Harry and Meghan’s wedding.

    Sorry, I just keep getting these e-mails from People about Harry and Meghan and I can’t think about anything else.

  132. 132.

    Ruckus

    @WaterGirl:

    Might not be wrong for you, or many of the other commenters but it would be wrong for me, on so many levels. Besides I wouldn’t know where or how to start. And no I don’t want to know.

  140. 140.

    trollhattan

    Big consumers of oxygen, the lot of ’em. What do I win?

    Programming note: US and Canada women play in a “friendly” Concacaf final in a few minutes. Friendly, because they’re already the tournament’s two teams that qualify for they Olympics, having won their groups Friday. Canada really underperformed against Costa Rica so may have more motivation than the cruise control Yanks.

  149. 149.

    pat

    Did they have something to do with the quotes in the calendar from jackals who are no longer with us?

  159. 159.

    Miss Bianca

    I won’t say they all have black kitties, because I know we would have heard about Betty’s if that’s the case!

     

    Maybe they’ve all got their Pets of Balloon Juice 2020 calendars? I just got mine and found to my delight that it’s not only lovely in thought and design, it fits in my laptop case!

  169. 169.

    WaterGirl

    All 4 have quotes in the calendar:

    either corresponding with a jackal who has gone on before us

    OR

    talking about a jackal who has gone on before us.

  173. 173.

    pat

    @pat:

    OK, I don’t know if this has already been mentioned, but they are the only living jackals whose words of wisdom are in the calendar?

  176. 176.

    jeffreyw

    OT, but while we are talking about calendars – Watergirl told me that I ordered a 2019 calendar and did I mean to do that?

    Ooops!

    So I ordered the 2020 version.  I due course the first one came and LO!  It was a 2020 calendar!  Alas, with last year’s pets.  Still, it is a perfectly accurate 2020 calendar.

  180. 180.

    OzarkHillbilly

    If it has anything to do with the calendar, IT’S NOT MY FAULT! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! I didn’t even send in a picture.

  181. 181.

    WaterGirl

    satby poses a question to efgoldman,  about fuck ’ems and ef replies

    Betty Cracker is talking about Schlemezal talking about being at the march in 2016

    OzarkHillbilly is talking about Schlemezal

    Steeplejack poses a question to efgoldman, and ef replies

  186. 186.

    WaterGirl

    @pat: Hey!  You said “replied to” and in two cases it was the other person who had replied them.

    I said you were very warm.  If I had said you were hot, you could have gotten me for harassment!

  189. 189.

    Llelldorin

    They all have previously undisclosed careers in literary criticism? Or international espionage?

    (Checks clues in thread.)

    They all have previously undisclosed careers in Balloon Juice pet calendar criticism? Their careers in international espionage were cut short when their notes on their Balloon Juice pet calendars were discovered

    Edited to add: Ah, and I see it was guessed correctly before I responded. Great thread!

  190. 190.

    J R in WV

     

    Will we see a 500 comment thread for this quiz???

    I forget the technical Intertubes term for that…. Wait, TBogg unit of comments!!!!

  193. 193.

    pat

    @WaterGirl:

    OK, that was from a quick reading of the calendar which hangs in the mudroom where the litter box is and where I record the pees and poops so I was not paying so much attention as if I had it on the desk in front of me.

    But I think I came in second!  Yay me.

    (don’t tell me if I’m wrong about that.)

  196. 196.

    SiubhanDuinne

    This was great fun to play and even more fun to read! Please think of making BJ Quiz a weekly feature.

  198. 198.

    Ruckus

    @WaterGirl:

    So did I win?

    And if so, what? I win so seldom that when it happens it’s like a heart attack, you aren’t expecting it, you’re pretty sure it won’t be fun, and you aren’t sure it’s worth the effort to collect the prize

    It could also be like my health, just as I get good news, something else goes kabluee so I’ve decided that good news is no news.

  205. 205.

    Kay (not the front-pager)

    @debbie: They’re the only four who don’t have a smartass bone in their bodies?

    Have you met Betty Cracker? :-)

  206. 206.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @LongHairedWeirdo: I once became the subject of an urban legend. It was so far from the truth the guy telling it was over 5 mins into the story before I realized it was about me. I think my 15 mins lasted about 30 seconds.

  220. 220.

    LongHairedWeirdo

    @SiubhanDuinne: In point of fact, I hesitated to post the response, for that very reason, except, I knew I’d rather know.  (Either that, or I was sharing the misery, perhaps – I was also caught off guard by a surprising amount!)

  230. 230.

    WaterGirl

    @BruceFromOhio: Too bad you’re not part of an improv troupe, or better yet going to an improv performance.  That might be a challenge for them.

    Just to be clear, I was just teasing about people not being good guessers.

  233. 233.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @JanieM: It was.

    Along the lines of “all grammar nazi corrections will contain a grammar or spelling error”.

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