What do Betty Cracker, Steeplejack, OzarkHillbilly and Satby all have in common?
You get three guesses! You get 15 minutes to make your guesses. (15 minutes from the first guess.)
If you win, you get a hearty handshake and a pat on the back – the coveted prize for callers to WLS radio as I was going up.
Bonus question for the pedants among us: If it’s in a title is it more correct to include satby in upper case (because it’s in the title) or lower case out of respect for her nym?
Big R
Edit: on reflection, my guess was in poor taste and has been deleted.
Baud
They’re all people who have never been to my house.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Do I have to give partial credit to anyone whose statement is true, yet not the answer I was looking for?
WaterGirl
@Big R: I didn’t see your earlier version, so unless Baud saw it and plans to spill the beans, you are in the clear.
SiubhanDuinne
They are the four most prolific commenters by some completely arbitrary metric?
I got nuthin.
JanieM
Today’s their birthday?
P.S. I don’t know what anyone’s style manual would say, but I wouldn’t capitalize satby, even in a title.
Pause….
Obviously this is why I’m not the copy editor of Slate.
Spinoza Is My Co-pilot
“Woke” crackers fighting the good fight behind enemy lines in the old Confederacy?
Only sometimes pedantic, I say lower case.
hilts
They’re all carbon based life forms.
prostratedragon
Is it something to sing about?
Sab
They know how to work computers.
dmsilev
They are, all four of them, separate earthly aspects of an eternal, prolific, yet somewhat confused, demigod?
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: That’s a good one!
But not the one I am thinking of.
Elizabelle
They’re all knitting scarves for Penny Pearl duck too? Secretly.
Cuz we know MomSense is.
WaterGirl
You guys, I did not expect there to be so many good answers! (I should have had more faith.)
WaterGirl
@Elizabelle: I know! I was kind of worried when TaMara said she had just sent measurements for Penelope to MomSense, and I knew she had already finished one of the scarves.
What if the scarf doesn’t fit? :-)
WaterGirl
@prostratedragon: It is not.
WaterGirl
@prostratedragon: I’m not sure if it’s bigger than a breadbox. I guess it would depend on how you measure.
WaterGirl
If there’s one more vote for lower case satby, I am changing it.
satby
Shit, I hope someone knows, because I sure don’t ???
Edit: lower case por favor y gracias!
Elizabelle
They’re all sitting in front of their laptops in lingerie? This very moment?
cope
Hmm, 1 minute to go…what could it be?
frosty
lower case.
and they’ve all submitted nominations for rotating tags.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl:
Well, give us a hint. Do they share this commonality with any other jackals, or is the quality unique to these four?
cope
Since lower case satby is that person’s choice as a name, lower case it should be in a title. Disclaimer: not a pedant.
WaterGirl
@Elizabelle:
Is it wrong that I tried for a second to picture OzarkHillbilly in lingerie?
dmsilev
They all live their lives like a candle in the wind?
dmsilev
@WaterGirl: If that’s wrong, I don’t know what is right.
frosty
@Spinoza Is My Co-pilot: Nope. Steep is somewhere in NoVa. Which i heard someone from south of the Rappahannock call Occupied Virginia. Guess again.
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne:
Those 4 are the only current jackals who have this particular thing in common.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl:
I also vote lower case. I would extend that courtesy to e. e. cummings in a title, were I writing a book or paper about him.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
Something to do with dogs? I’m so bad at identifying breeds that I always think of Badger as a “badger dog.”
WaterGirl
@satby: fixed! I started with lower case but though it might have seemed [something not good] to have it be the only lower case word.
feebog
They have all been to Pittsburgh.
WaterGirl
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
I would have to say that what you wrote is not not true.
Sab
@feebog: Suzanne has done that, as has Cole, and other jackals live there.
WaterGirl
@dmsilev:
Let’s hope so!
WaterGirl
@feebog: I do not know if they have all been to Pittsburgh.
dmsilev
@feebog: “Pittsburgh” is a myth. How could any city possibly have so many as _three_ rivers?
la caterina
Okay, since guessing time is over, give us the answer!
WaterGirl
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: Someone referred to Badger as “Baxter” earlier this week, and I knew that wasn’t right, but it took a bit for me to remember the right name.
I ❤️Badger. When I was endlessly testing the new site before official testing got started, it got to the point where I would put a picture of Badger in my test posts to make it more bearable.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
They all have dogs named after other species?
ETA: I ❤️ Badger, too, and I’m not much of a dog person. Obviously. I mean, I wish other people’s dogs well, but from a distance.
WaterGirl
Do you guys really want the answer already? You are getting closer.
Sandia Blanca
Does it have anything to do with butter sculptures?
WaterGirl
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
I am fairly certain that they have all been in the company of dogs that have been named after other species. In one sense, at least.
Another Scott
They were official testers of the beta version and filled out the forms correctly?
Cheers,
Scott.
Baud
@WaterGirl:
They are all in fact highly evolved dogs?
ETA: Never mind. Ozark is not highly evolved.
WaterGirl
@Another Scott:
I’m not sure there were 4 people, total, who did that. (just kidding)
That is not the answer I am looking for.
frosty
@WaterGirl: Well if they’re the only four then my rotating tag guess is wrong. Rats.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl: NO! Please let us keep guessing! This is fun.
Jim Parish
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: You think they’re a dachshund?
WaterGirl
@Baud:
This could be true! But not the answer I am looking for.
Clue: But there have been 3 answers that are in the ballpark, so to speak.
PJ
@WaterGirl: do they all still use aol email addresses?
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
My cousin has a dog named Daisy Duck. But since I have absolutely no idea how or why I’m even close to the right answer, Imma sit the rest of this out.
WaterGirl
@frosty:
Sorry, I missed that one earlier. Excellent thought! But, no.
mrmoshpotato
Re: satby
Leave her name as written.
schrodingers_cat
They all have birthdays in March?
dmsilev
@Baud: Well, they’re on the Internet so, as we all are aware, it’s a very possible theory.
satby
@Baud: if I was invited I would arrive with a dessert of
yourmy (tbh) choice. Mmmm, dessert!WaterGirl
@PJ:
Oh, I hope not. That would be sad.
Elizabelle
Cole is going to pick one of their names out of a hat and — “Hello, Thurston!”
satby
@PJ: you’re on the list.
geg6
@Baud:
That would be awesome.
WaterGirl
@satby: So sad that Baud talked earlier about letting the (shudder) snakes eat the mice at his house. There went all my plans to propose to Baud on Valentine’s Day.
JoeyJoeJoe
They’ve never been in Cliff Clavin’s kitchen?
mrmoshpotato
Can you guess multiple guesses?
They’re all Juicers?
They’re all American?
They all live in the continental United States?
ETA – Multi-syllabic nyms?
Baud
@WaterGirl:
I guess I shouldn’t tell you how I deal with the snakes.
schrodingers_cat
Their pets are featured on the same month of the BJ calendar
frosty
Best respite thread ever. Thanx WG!
WaterGirl
@Elizabelle:
I am willing to accept bribes from any of those 4 who do not want to take the risk of Cole seeing your idea, so (sorry!) I would consider accepting baked goods in return for deleting your comment. Even though it’s excellent!
debbie
@Another Scott:
That was my guess!
Another Scott
When their names are transliterated to Hungarian, they can be typed with just the left hand??
Cheers,
Scott.
satby
@WaterGirl: would you be included if it wasn’t your game?
Baud
@schrodingers_cat: Good guess.
Mnemosyne
They’re all going to be front pagers?
I mean, may as well go big with guesses.
schrodingers_cat
@Baud: If you invite we will come
WaterGirl
@schrodingers_cat:
Hmm. I don’t think so, but I will have to go look.
WaterGirl
@schrodingers_cat: But you are getting warmer.
schrodingers_cat
They are all gingers
debbie
They’re the only four who haven’t screwed up a link or something similar and needed rescuing.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Let’s never speak of them again. If so, maybe I can just postpone my plans for a year.
OzarkHillbilly
I’m afraid to ask.
WaterGirl
@debbie:
That’s a good one! I am having fun. Maybe we should play this game once a week.
mrmoshpotato
@WaterGirl: Is it something to dance about?
SiubhanDuinne
I think all four could be considered self-employed — but surely that’s true of a great many other jackals.
O. Felix Culpa
Just popped in to say I’m enjoying this thread. Carry on, my wayward friends.
WaterGirl
@OzarkHillbilly: Go put on your lingerie, and then you can ask.
West of the Rockies
@WaterGirl:
Felony arrest warrants?
satby
@frosty: I agree! Now if I just had a clue about what WG is talking about ?
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: I think you could be right about self-employed. Ozark can tell us for sure. But that is not the answer I am looking for.
debbie
They’re the only four who don’t have a smartass bone in their bodies?
schrodingers_cat
@WaterGirl: Their pets are on the cover of the BJ calendar
mrmoshpotato
@Elizabelle: I…..ummm…. hahahhaha!!
WaterGirl
@West of the Rockies:
Just Ozark, for the lingerie thing, I think.
WaterGirl
@schrodingers_cat:
Nope. But you are getting warmer.
OzarkHillbilly
@Big R: Not gonna say about the others but if it was in poor taste it probably fit me like a glove.
la caterina
They’re in a four-way love triangle?
satby
@debbie: definitely not that.
WaterGirl
@debbie:
I would have to say that is not correct!
dexwood
They’re getting the band back together?
WaterGirl
@satby: Looks like you beat me by a second on that one!
satby
@la caterina: I think that was Big R’s ?
Steeplejack (phone)
I didn’t think that this is the form my 15 minutes of blog fame would take.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@la caterina: I would say they all failed geometry, but clearly that would make at least five people here who did.
(I keed, I keed.)
WaterGirl
@mrmoshpotato: Nothing to dance about. Sorry!
dmsilev
@WaterGirl: The Fashion Police are having another crackdown?
dexwood
They’ve had a pet in every calendar?
germy
@WaterGirl: They all keep chickens?
OzarkHillbilly
@Sab: Ding ding ding ding WRONG. In my case anyway. If it wasn’t for my wife I would have found something productive to do with my time.
satby
@Steeplejack (phone): honestly, I’m a wee bit worried about what it is ?
debbie
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
(Geometry was the only math-adjacent subject I breezed through.)
WaterGirl
@satby: No, I would not be included if this wasn’t my game. But I might have been included had I made a different choice while editing a file in December.
SiubhanDuinne
It seems from WG’s hints and “you’re getting warm”s that the answer has something to do with pets. But what specifically it is that no other Juicer shares … I’m at a loss. (BUT DON’T TELL US YET!!)
WaterGirl
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: Geometry was my least favorite math course. I loved the rest.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@la caterina: If it’s four-sided it’s not a triangle, it’s a quadruped.
/internet pedant
satby
Threads and answers like these are why this is the best blog anywhere.
OzarkHillbilly
@Elizabelle: HEY! WHO TURNED ON THE FUCKING CAMERA???
piratedan
METH!!!!! They’re on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne:
You are getting warmer.
Felanius Kootea
It’s clearly something to do with pets but I can’t figure out what. They’ve all had a pet with the same name?
Medicine Man
All three are lovable liberal rednecks? :)
WaterGirl
@satby:
It is not x-rated.
OzarkHillbilly
@WaterGirl: Very wrong. Tho I do look pretty damn good in red.
debbie
They had winning rotating tag suggestions?
Elizabelle
@OzarkHillbilly: WaterGirl! She sees everything.
You look … fetching.
dmsilev
@OzarkHillbilly: Painter’s tape over the lens. For everyone’s sake.
Baud
@Medicine Man:
There. Are. Four. Juicers.
The Dangerman
What are 4 people who have never been in my kitchen?
/cliff
ETA: Only missed it by 63.
/maxwell
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@Medicine Man:
Uh-oh. The blog just broke mathematics altogether.
WaterGirl
Do you guys want another clue?
Steeplejack (phone)
@Elizabelle:
I am currently clad in, uh, “loungewear.” You all know that I follow the efgoldman philosophy that tactical gear (pants!) is for going outside.
zhena gogolia
They were at Harry and Meghan’s wedding.
Sorry, I just keep getting these e-mails from People about Harry and Meghan and I can’t think about anything else.
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
Might not be wrong for you, or many of the other commenters but it would be wrong for me, on so many levels. Besides I wouldn’t know where or how to start. And no I don’t want to know.
dmsilev
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: At Balloon Juice, pi(e) is four.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mnemosyne: Betty is already a front pager, though. Which is not to say I wouldn’t love to see the other three as FPs.
WaterGirl
@OzarkHillbilly: Red is good! Just not orange-red. Fire engine red, cherry red, those are good.
satby
@WaterGirl: wait, on Valentine’s Day? Pretty sure Subaru or O Felix got Baud that day… Let me check the Baudies schedule.
@Baud: (psst…act surprised)
zhena gogolia
@debbie:
Uh, Betty Cracker is included, in case you didn’t notice.
Sab
@WaterGirl: Of course we do.
WaterGirl
@dmsilev:
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that is most likely true. But that is not the answer I am looking for.
trollhattan
Big consumers of oxygen, the lot of ’em. What do I win?
Programming note: US and Canada women play in a “friendly” Concacaf final in a few minutes. Friendly, because they’re already the tournament’s two teams that qualify for they Olympics, having won their groups Friday. Canada really underperformed against Costa Rica so may have more motivation than the cruise control Yanks.
WaterGirl
@dexwood:
That is a most excellent guess, but I do not know whether that is true or not. But you are getting warmer.
satby
@WaterGirl: aha, I think I know.
mrmoshpotato
@WaterGirl: ☹️???
WaterGirl
Here’s a clue:
They are not on the cover of the pet calendar.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@WaterGirl: It doesn’t look good with the yellow bunny slippers though.
Ruckus
@debbie:
Everyone has a smart ass bone.
Some just know where their’s is and how to make it function.
WaterGirl
@satby: You might have more inside information than others do.
satby
@WaterGirl: is calender a clue?
Edit, so I won’t guess.
pat
Did they have something to do with the quotes in the calendar from jackals who are no longer with us?
WaterGirl
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: Everything looks good with bunny slippers.
WaterGirl
@pat:
You are quite warm.
OzarkHillbilly
@WaterGirl: Naw, I never got arrested for that. There are people who think I should have.
Baud
@WaterGirl:
So their pets are not in the same month and not on the cover? And it relates to a file you edited?
mrmoshpotato
@dmsilev: For large versions of 3.14.
pat
@WaterGirl:
AHA! They all have quotes responding to the jackals who are no longer with us!
OzarkHillbilly
@satby: You should be.
WaterGirl
@Baud:
So their pets are not in the same month
Ding.
and not on the cover?
Ding.
And it relates to a file you edited?
Ding.
WaterGirl
@pat:
Oh, so close, but not quite correct.
Miss Bianca
I won’t say they all have black kitties, because I know we would have heard about Betty’s if that’s the case!
Maybe they’ve all got their Pets of Balloon Juice 2020 calendars? I just got mine and found to my delight that it’s not only lovely in thought and design, it fits in my laptop case!
Baud
THIS GAME SUCKS!
[flips over blog]
WaterGirl
@Miss Bianca:
All 4 have not ordered calendars.
WaterGirl
@Baud: laughing out loud.
You and pat are so close. One of you can surely bring this home.
Ruckus
@WaterGirl
They all have quotes in the calendar and aren’t gone yet?
mrmoshpotato
They all walk around with spooky skeletons inside of them?
satby
@Baud: ROTFLMAO
WaterGirl
@Ruckus:
This is true:
And this is not QUITE true:
pat
@WaterGirl:
Close enough for me. I’m off for the second glass of red wine.
;)
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
OK what the hell aren’t you telling us…..
This is vital information, all this political crap can wait….
WaterGirl
All 4 have quotes in the calendar:
either corresponding with a jackal who has gone on before us
OR
talking about a jackal who has gone on before us.
dexwood
They all submitted an efg fuck ’em quote? The same quote?
Martin
@WaterGirl: Don’t give up, Future First Lady WaterGirl!
WaterGirl
Everyone’s a winner!
pat
@pat:
OK, I don’t know if this has already been mentioned, but they are the only living jackals whose words of wisdom are in the calendar?
dexwood
@WaterGirl: Do we get participation trophies?
WaterGirl
@Martin: If I wait a year, we can get married in the White House!
jeffreyw
OT, but while we are talking about calendars – Watergirl told me that I ordered a 2019 calendar and did I mean to do that?
Ooops!
So I ordered the 2020 version. I due course the first one came and LO! It was a 2020 calendar! Alas, with last year’s pets. Still, it is a perfectly accurate 2020 calendar.
WaterGirl
@dexwood: You get a trophy, and you get a trophy, and you get a trophy!
pat
@WaterGirl:
picky picky
West of the Rockies
@WaterGirl:
That was an unfortunate decision on his part, admittedly.
Oh, I know! They’re were all on Nixon’s enemies list!
OzarkHillbilly
If it has anything to do with the calendar, IT’S NOT MY FAULT! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! I didn’t even send in a picture.
WaterGirl
satby poses a question to efgoldman, about fuck ’ems and ef replies
Betty Cracker is talking about Schlemezal talking about being at the march in 2016
OzarkHillbilly is talking about Schlemezal
Steeplejack poses a question to efgoldman, and ef replies
Elizabelle
@WaterGirl: Way cool.
chopper
@WaterGirl:
my answer is “they are not on the cover of the pet calendar”
West of the Rockies
@Elizabelle:
Or like something that was fetched.
frosty
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: Ahem. Quadrilateral.
/math pedant
WaterGirl
@pat: Hey! You said “replied to” and in two cases it was the other person who had replied them.
I said you were very warm. If I had said you were hot, you could have gotten me for harassment!
HRA
They all have more than one pet.
satby
Great fun thread! Thanks WaterGirl!
Llelldorin
They all have previously undisclosed careers in literary criticism? Or international espionage?
(Checks clues in thread.)
They all have previously undisclosed careers in Balloon Juice pet calendar criticism? Their careers in international espionage were cut short when their notes on their Balloon Juice pet calendars were discovered
Edited to add: Ah, and I see it was guessed correctly before I responded. Great thread!
J R in WV
Will we see a 500 comment thread for this quiz???
I forget the technical Intertubes term for that…. Wait, TBogg unit of comments!!!!
delk
Calendar centerfold?
OzarkHillbilly
@WaterGirl: I didn’t have a whole lot to say then, and I still don’t have anything more to say now.
pat
@WaterGirl:
OK, that was from a quick reading of the calendar which hangs in the mudroom where the litter box is and where I record the pees and poops so I was not paying so much attention as if I had it on the desk in front of me.
But I think I came in second! Yay me.
(don’t tell me if I’m wrong about that.)
JanieM
@Ceci n est pas mon nym:
@frosty:
I thought “quadruped” followed by “/internet pedant” was a joke….
/pedant pedant
WaterGirl
@delk: Nope! Not sure what # you’re at, but you won’t see the answer until #169.
SiubhanDuinne
This was great fun to play and even more fun to read! Please think of making BJ Quiz a weekly feature.
LongHairedWeirdo
@SiubhanDuinne:
You know, the Slate article above links to this:
http://faculty.gvsu.edu/websterm/cummings/caps.htm
… which suggests it was in-poem, not in RL.
I guess I’m glad I’ve never been famous enough to have a minor legend grow up around me that would spread and become better known than, well, just about anything else about me.
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
So did I win?
And if so, what? I win so seldom that when it happens it’s like a heart attack, you aren’t expecting it, you’re pretty sure it won’t be fun, and you aren’t sure it’s worth the effort to collect the prize
It could also be like my health, just as I get good news, something else goes kabluee so I’ve decided that good news is no news.
LeftCoastYankee
Winning is overrated. Can we just keep guessing?
SiubhanDuinne
@LongHairedWeirdo: Well, that’s interesting (by which I mean slightly upsetting, as it flies in the face of a long-cherished belief). But thank you.
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: I thought it ended up being super fun, too!
WaterGirl
@LeftCoastYankee: Absolutely!
Martin
@WaterGirl: Have the ceremony in Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden. Only invite our pets.
BruceFromOhio
Yes.
Kay (not the front-pager)
@debbie: They’re the only four who don’t have a smartass bone in their bodies?
Have you met Betty Cracker? :-)
OzarkHillbilly
@LongHairedWeirdo: I once became the subject of an urban legend. It was so far from the truth the guy telling it was over 5 mins into the story before I realized it was about me. I think my 15 mins lasted about 30 seconds.
EthylEster
@Ceci n est pas mon nym:
their pets are NOT in the calendar?
low-tech cyclist
They’ve never been to heaven, but they’ve been to Oklahoma?
WaterGirl
@Ruckus: Yes, you did!
I would say that you and pat were the big weiners.
WaterGirl
@Kay (not the front-pager): Or satby!
WaterGirl
@BruceFromOhio: If your “yes” means it should be capitalized, you are in the minority. Is that what you meant?
edit: in the end, I changed it because satby said that was her preference.
WaterGirl
@Martin: I love an outdoor wedding. How about if I invite everyone, but only feed the pets?
edit: I wonder if Baud gets a say in this?
WaterGirl
@Ruckus:
As I said up top, you win a hearty handshake and a pat on the back.
WaterGirl
@pat: I think you and Ruckus were the big Weiners!
WaterGirl
@OzarkHillbilly: I’m not sure what you mean. Did you check the calendar for what you wrote about Schlemezel?
Omnes Omnibus
@dmsilev: Milwaukee does. The Milwaukee, the Menomonee, and the Kinnikinnic.
WaterGirl
@jeffreyw: Maybe a family member would like the one with last year’s pictures?
WaterGirl
@mrmoshpotato: I missed this one in real time. Good one!
WaterGirl
@Felanius Kootea:
That was an excellent guess! (No.)
LongHairedWeirdo
@SiubhanDuinne: In point of fact, I hesitated to post the response, for that very reason, except, I knew I’d rather know. (Either that, or I was sharing the misery, perhaps – I was also caught off guard by a surprising amount!)
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
Thank You!
I imagine it is better than the second heart attack……
WaterGirl
@Another Scott:
Damn! That was the alternate question I was going to ask.
WaterGirl
@Ruckus: I would mark that statement as absolutely true.
BruceFromOhio
@WaterGirl: teased that one out long enough, ya big tease.
Another fun thread, many laughs, and thanks to all.
WaterGirl
@BruceFromOhio: ?♀️?♀️?♀️?♀️?♀️
It’s not my fault that you guys aren’t better guessers. :-)
BruceFromOhio
@WaterGirl: neither, sadly. More like, decide for yourself.
My pedant fu is .. not strong.
SWMBO
@WaterGirl: Good lord no. The mothers-in-law get more say than just about anyone. The groom is just supposed to show up and be charming.
BruceFromOhio
@WaterGirl: Perhaps, but now I have “OzarkHillBilly in lingerie and tape on the camera lens” for some go-to lyrics when I need em.
WaterGirl
@SWMBO: Baud is already charming.
WaterGirl
@BruceFromOhio: Too bad you’re not part of an improv troupe, or better yet going to an improv performance. That might be a challenge for them.
Just to be clear, I was just teasing about people not being good guessers.
BruceFromOhio
@WaterGirl: I find your ideas compelling, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Medicine Man
@Baud: I just want to capitalize Satby’s nym now. :)
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@JanieM: It was.
Along the lines of “all grammar nazi corrections will contain a grammar or spelling error”.
NotMax
I was told there would be no pop quizzes.
WaterGirl
@NotMax: I suppose that’s why you are late to class, young man!
:: best schoolmarm impression ::
TriassicSands
@WaterGirl:
Not when the answer is not original…as in this case.
People have been fired from universities for less.