Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Second rate reporter says what?

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

“woke” is the new caravan.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

People are weird.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / The Contest: Haikus, Limericks, Six Word Memoirs, and One-Act Plays

The Contest: Haikus, Limericks, Six Word Memoirs, and One-Act Plays

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This post is in: ,

I don’t know how many of you remembered, but tonight is the contest for:

Best Haikus
Best Limericks
Best Dirty Limericks
Best One-Act Plays, 10-minute variety
Best Six-Word Memoirs

But before we get to the main event, I have to share this.  If I didn’t grow up with this guy, I could have.

I can’t get enough of this guy!

Posted by Julie Viernow Siebel on Friday, March 27, 2020

Entries already submitted  are in the comments under Anonymous to keep things anonymous until voting is complete.  If there are further submissions in the comments, then I will change the nyms on the existing entries so we have a level playing field.  You may vote in the comments, by text (if you have my number) or  email.

*If someone submitted an entry and I missed it somehow, please let me know.

Edit: You’ll see that we have gotten started on the links in the sidebar that we talked about last weekend. I have not yet incorporated everything that was sent to me – but I will continue to fill out the list and the items on the list for anything that is still of interest.  It’s been quite a week for all of us, so speak up if you think that was a good idea at the time, but there is no interest.  Or if you are still interested!

Reader Interactions

154Comments

  3. 3.

    JanieM

    Balloon-Juice
    There once was a blog full of jackals
    Who often raised each other’s hackles
    They argued and fought
    Over topics so fraught
    That sometimes the air would just crackle.

  4. 4.

    JanieM

    John Cole
    There once was a blogger named John,
    Who never inspired a yawn.
    His posts were outrageous,
    And often courageous.
    His pet pics could not be foregone.

  5. 5.

    JanieM

    Adam Silverman
    There once was a blogger named Adam
    Whose brilliance we barely could fathom.
    His cogent analysis
    Cured our paralysis,
    Earning the status of mathom.

  6. 6.

    JanieM

    Betty Cracker
    There once was a blogger named Betty
    Who lived near a Florida jetty.
    Her posts were hilarious,
    And sometimes nefarious,
    But never was Betty too petty.

  7. 7.

    JanieM

    Anne Laurie
    There once was a blogger named Anne,
    Who said “Cover COVID I can.”
    She kept us informed
    As the pandemic warmed
    And the shortage of TP began.

  8. 8.

    JanieM

    WaterGirl
    There once was a blogger named Water-,
    who came when the blogmaster sought her
    to help redesign
    the blog’s visage online.
    And the –Girl made us glad that he got her.

  9. 9.

    Avalune

    There once was a West Virginian named Cole
    Who thought the president a giant butthole
    He gnashed his teeth
    And begged relief
    But the president continued to troll

  15. 15.

    WaterGirl

    Exciting news!  I am getting  huge grant to fight against COVID-19!

    You have been chosen to receive a grant of 550,000 USD from WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION for the fight against Covid 19 Pandemic .Send your reply to : [email protected]  for more details.
     
    Sincerely
    Dr Howard Benard
  18. 18.

    NotMax

    There once was a monk from Siberia
    Whose morals were somewhat inferior
    He done to a nun
    What he shouldn’t have done
    And now she’s a Mother Superior

  19. 19.

    piratedan

    there was an old man in a boat
    his arse kept barely afloat
    his skiff full of gear
    and three twelve packs of beer
    that you hardly noticed his goat

  23. 23.

    M31

    There once was a POTUS named Trump
    Whose face looked a lot like his rump.
    Whose mushroom-shaped weiner,
    And repellant demeanor,
    Belong in the farthest of dumps.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    There was a blogmaster named Cole
    Whose mustard went out for a stroll
    Alas and alack
    It never came back
    Cole’s cussing heard at the North Pole
    .
    Subaru in field
    Sun glinting bright off windshield
    To all things a time
    .

  29. 29.

    M31

    6-word memoir of the late American Experiment:

    Shithead Douchebag President? Sure why not?

  30. 30.

    CaseyL

    @WaterGirl: He’s great.  I’ll go to any bar he’s bar-tending at :)

    Stuck here at home, my
    cats are delighted
    Work? What’s that?  they ask

    (…may not be the formal haiku form)

  33. 33.

    JanieM

    Six-word memoir:

    Math nerd from away came out.

    *****

    P.S. What’s going on with the nyms?

  35. 35.

    WaterGirl

    @JanieM: Not sure I understand your question.  I had them in as anonymous and then when other people started posting, i changed the ones that were sent by email to add the person’s nym.

  36. 36.

    Wileybud

    Mikey’s worth two cigs
    Bill Barr will go for a pack
    Donny?  A carton!

    (Updated from a Bush Admin vintage haiku from an unknown author)

  37. 37.

    NotMax

    The was a young man from Bel Air
    Who was screwing a lass on the stair
    The banister broke
    He quickened his stroke
    And finished the act in midair

  43. 43.

    oatler.

    A mathematician called Klein
    Thought the Moebius strip was divine
    He said “if you glue
    The edges of two
    You’ll get a weird bottle like mine!”

  45. 45.

    NotMax

    Shortest one act play.

    “Hi, guys, I’m here! Thanks for waiting. Boy, that traffic was murder.”

    “Hi, Godot!”

  48. 48.

    JanieM

    @WaterGirl: I missed the changeover. So that confused me (inattention, sorry). But then some of them had links attached to the nyms, so that confused me doubly.

    It’s all okay.

  49. 49.

    TJ (a long-time lurker)

    The following is an acrostic limerick.  The first letter of each of the five lines, taken together, spell out something about the subject of the limerick.

    It’s becoming increasingly plain:
    Donald Trump’s so-called “very good brain”
    Isn’t all it should be.
    On the contrary, he
    Tweets and rants like a man gone insane.

  51. 51.

    Hummus Where The Heart Is

    …by text (if you have my number)…

    Got it from Cole. Jenny, right? 8675 … ah, shit.

    How about a category for best Knock Knock joke? Winner gets the No Bell award.

    ETA: No Bell Prize. PRIZE. damn it all.

  52. 52.

    JanieM

    @WaterGirl: I laughed out loud through the whole thing. I lived in the Milwaukee area for four years long ago, and the accent really took me back.

  55. 55.

    WaterGirl

    So how do we want to vote?  Entries today, vote tomorrow?  Vote tonight?

    Choose the 5 best in each category, with ranked choice voting?

    ??

  56. 56.

    suezboo

    @NotMax:

    Brilliant, NotMax. We can all appreciate intellectualism because this blog is part of the East Coast Elite (that includes WV, right?

    Similarly, Hamlet : That’s my Dad’s ghost? Aaargh. Falls dead with a heart attack.

  57. 57.

    NotMax

    so speak up if you think that was a good idea at the time, but there is no interest. Or if you are still interested!

    Was under the impression we’d be getting individual limited in scope or genre “things to do” (i.e., idle worship) threads on a regular basis (daily? weekly?) until the suggestions for topics you received ran out.

  61. 61.

    Mustang Bobby

    A lady from Arlington Heights
    Shoved a rattlesnake up twixt her tights.
    Although it’s not chic
    Her twat is unique:
    It’s the only one that rattles and bites.

  64. 64.

    NotMax

    @realbtl

    Maybe two different dedicated threads on the same night? List was fairly long, might take six months to run through all of them if one a week.

  66. 66.

    Joseph A Miller

    Three Haikus (Ichi)

    Rippled mountains stand
    reflecting January’s light.
    We watch, mesmerized.

    Agonized thoughts fly.
    I wrestle with cruel doubts.
    Victory is mine.

    Memory rises.
    Ancient scenes encroach on me.
    I plunge in darkness.

    Three Haikus (Ni)

    A chance seeks me out,
    failure’s prospect frightens me.
    I sit paralyzed.

    Baby wakes, crying.
    She runs to my waiting arms.
    My role is sacred.

    I gaze back often,
    what could have been calls to me.
    I can’t bear to look.

    Three Haikus (San)

    Cacophonous songs,
    Sea and sky harmonious,
    A tender morning.

    Two young strong lovers,
    Private longings now unleashed,
    Fierce passion entwined.

    Lost in reverie,
    A chiaroscuro day,
    Night slips in softly.

    Three Haikus (Shi)

     Little girl, unwell,
    pulls herself onto my chest.
    My love enfolds her.

    Sunlight paints our house,
    we exult in our blessing;
    winter means nothing.

    A storm-wracked planet,
    ancient sins predominate;
    there is still faint hope.

    Three Haikus (Go)

     I drift without aim;
    confused impulses take arms;
    I amuse myself.

    Old ties rekindled,
    I revel in happy times.
    Memory is kind.

    Restless spirits walk;
    I look at them absently.
    Their faces are mine.

    Three Haikus (Roku)

    Pictures of old days
    wrap their fingers around me.
    I hear faint echoes.

    A darting gecko
    seeks protection in our home;
    Kane shelters it.

    We bid fond goodnight;
    we embrace with practiced love;
    we are one spirit.

    Three Haikus (Shichi)

    Motionless I sit
    contemplating unreal dreams;
    the wan future shrugs.

    Swirling ghosts grimace;
    I laugh at their countenance.
    Their faces dissolve.

    Blessings fall quickly,
    the waiting land shares their joy;
    verdant smiles respond.

  67. 67.

    Hummus Where The Heart Is

    Anyone collect really good fortune cookies? I have a collection in my wallet. Hey, I like Chinese food.

    Winner has to text picture of the FC, of course. Trust but verify, dammit. Important for FC’s and ICBMs.

  71. 71.

    HinTN

    @Baud:

    That being the case
    The rest being too base
    You should just be more forward
    And get on toward
    The end where you just fuck yourself

  72. 72.

    Avalune

    @Hummus Where The Heart Is: While Leto was in the hospital, I’d sometimes order chinese and share the fortune cookies with my dog Bella.

    I have a picture of her with her fortune which read:

    If you chase two rabbits, both will escape

    (Terrier Breed. Loves chasing rabbits).

  74. 74.

    JanieM

    @Hummus Where The Heart Is:

    @WaterGirl:

    OMG fortune cookies, I got one once that was the story of my life. And I kept it, but the FSM only knows where it is now. I will start searching! It could have been the absolutely perfect found six-word memoir, except, alas, it had seven words.

  76. 76.

    Mohagan

    @NotMax: I live outside of Ukiah, CA (Mendocino County), and as you may have noticed, the name is haiku backwards. The town has an annual haiku contest inspired by that fact.

  77. 77.

    mrmoshpotato

    Oh shit!  Don’t want to get a zero for the assignment!

    Umm……Six Word Memoir

    My bones, they dance no more!

  81. 81.

    NotMax

    @JanieM

    Don’t have it but never forgot it. Must have been nigh onto 60 years ago.

    “Fu Manchu but many man smoke.”

  82. 82.

    Atticus Dogsbody

    There was a young man from Nantucket
    Who stored all his jizz in a bucket
    When it went brown
    He swallowed it down
    Then went off to church to upchuck it.

  84. 84.

    Hummus Where The Heart Is

    @JanieM:

    I will start searching!

    As self appointed Commissioner of the Fortune Cookie Alliance League Limited (FC ALL, which seems somehow fitting), we grant waivers easily. Unless you are bored and want to search.

  86. 86.

    The Dangerman

    @Mohagan:

    Ukiah, CA

    Ukiah. I know it well. My Uncle and Japanese Aunt lived just south of town. Top of a hill. Beautiful home. Where I was introduced to Ofuros (Japanese soaking tub) and Sukiyaki.

    You have to be really old to remember Mrs. Densons. That was a bakery on north end, just after the Casino that’s there now. Best cookies ever. She may have loaded them with some special local ingredients.

  91. 91.

    JanieM

    @Hummus Where The Heart Is: Well, since other people have quoted theirs, I’ll add mine, and maybe search later:

    “The whole story is long and complicated.”

    On reflection, I can make it a 6-word memoir by adding a contraction, but that takes away a bit from the fortune cookie tone:

    “The whole story’s long and complicated.”

  92. 92.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @WaterGirl: Those are my people.  Although I am not sure why he bothered to check the expiration date on the V8.  Either you bought it yesterday or it’s been in the ‘fridge long enough that it has to be expired.  No one has it for an intermediate time.

  94. 94.

    randy khan

    Oh, nuts, I forgot.  Not enough time to write that all-haiku one-act, I guess, so just some haiku:

    Social distancing:
    A chance to watch spring blossom.
    Corona-bonus!

    From six feet away
    You can see smiles, hear laughter,
    Make a connection.

    Anthony Fauci,
    The smartest guy in the room.
    How can he stand it?

  99. 99.

    The Dangerman

    Anthony Fauci,
    The smartest guy in the room.
    How can he stand it?

    I think we can close THAT contest.

  100. 100.

    pat

    Six word biography:  ( I heard this on NPR many years ago and came up with this:)

    I have always been very lucky.

  102. 102.

    p.a.

    @Gin & Tonic: oh yeah I remember him/her.

    There was a (IIRC woman) commenter from Maine who disappeared almost immediately on trump’s election.  Redshirt?

    3/25 was efg’s 1 year anniversary.

  103. 103.

    Adam Lang

    • A dashing midshipsman, MacLeed,
    • Though accused of harassment, was freed.
    • See, on the flight deck
    • When she said ‘Got a sec?’
    • He replied, ‘All the secs that you need!’
  107. 107.

    WaterGirl

    There’s a lot of talent here!

    So no one responded to my question about voting at #55.  Does that mean we want T-ball rules here, everybody’s a winner?  Participation trophies for everyone?

    I really don’t care either way – it’s been fun reading all of them.  What do you guys want?

  108. 108.

    JanieM

    @p.a.:

    There was a (IIRC woman) commenter from Maine who disappeared almost immediately on trump’s election.  Redshirt?

    Yes indeed. S/he was one of the first people I interacted with when I started reading/commenting here, and I paid particular attention because I too live in Maine. Redshirt said bye bye either the night of the election or the next day, and hasn’t been seen since (at least by me).

  111. 111.

    JanieM

    @WaterGirl: I would be hard put to it to choose, there are so many good ones. Ranked choice would help somewhat, but isn’t that a lot of work for you?

    As for me, I’d be happy just to enjoy them all.

  114. 114.

    Mustang Bobby

    Contact:
    Philip Middleton Williams

    A Moment of Clarity

    A Play by
    Philip Middleton Williams

    CHARACTERS:

    CLYDE: A man in his eighties. Dressed casually in slacks and a sweater, wearing a light winter coat.

    DAN: His son, in his sixties. Similarly dressed.
    SCENE:
    The waiting area at a pharmacy inside a supermarket. Two chairs. TIME:
    The present.

    A Moment of Clarity was first produced by Still Got It Players South at Magic Curtain Productions in Orlando, Florida, as a part of the Short Attention Span Play Festival on December 7, 2016. It was directed by Debbie DeCeco Lannen:

    Copyright © 2016 by Philip Middleton Williams

    2

    A Moment of Clarity

    By
    Philip Middleton Williams

    The setting is the waiting area at a pharmacy inside a supermarket. There are two chairs center stage. At rise, CLYDE is sitting in one of the chairs. A cane rests on his lap. After a moment, DAN enters. He sits next to CLYDE.

    DAN: The pharmacist says it’ll take about ten minutes. She’ll let us know when it’s ready.

    CLYDE: Good. (Reaches for his wallet.)
    DAN: It’s okay, Dad, I got this. The insurance will cover the rest of it. CLYDE: You sure?
    DAN: Yes.
    CLYDE: Okay. Where’s your mother?
    DAN: She’s down there in the produce section looking over the honeydews. CLYDE: The honeydews?
    DAN: Yeah, Dad, you like those.
    CLYDE: What about the cantaloupes?
    DAN: They’re not very good this time of year.
    CLYDE: Oh. What day is today?
    DAN: It’s Monday.
    CLYDE: July?

    3

    DAN: No, it’s December, Dad. Christmas was three days ago.

    CLYDE: Oh, that’s right. (Pause.) Thank you for coming.

    DAN: Forget it. Happy to do it. I like driving Mom’s car. Not too many people in their eighties have a Mustang GT convertible.

    CLYDE: No, I mean coming here for Christmas. It’s a long way from… Where are you now?

    DAN: Miami.

    CLYDE: That’s right. How do you like it there?

    DAN: Oh, it’s okay. Weather’s nice. Gets a little humid in the summer, kinda like here.

    CLYDE: And your job? What are you doing now?

    DAN: Still doing financial work. You know; numbers and all that.

    CLYDE: Good, good. (Pause, then looks off to the pharmacy counter.) Wonder what’s taking so long?

    DAN: Well, they probably have to check to make sure the new meds don’t mess up what you’re taking now.

    CLYDE: I take so many now it’s hard to keep up. Blood thinner, pain, cholesterol. Kind of a miracle I don’t rattle when I walk. When I can walk at all.

    DAN: I’m sure they’re checking. CLYDE: All right.

    (Beat.)

    DAN: You know what this reminds me of? Sitting here next to you, waiting.

    CLYDE: What does it remind you of?

    4

    DAN: Erie Marsh. Duck blind number seven. Early morning in October, the first day of duck season, just as the sun’s coming up, putting out the decoys, shivering, waiting for the ducks to come in. I was twelve. You showed me how to shoot a four-ten single shot. It wasn’t much next to your twelve-gauge, but…

    CLYDE: I remember.
    DAN: And you with your silly duck call.

    (Mimes holding a duck call to his mouth, imitates the call.) CLYDE: But it worked.

    DAN: Yes, it did. (Takes the cane, shoulders it like a shotgun.): Look, here come some now! Pow! Pow! Look, I got one!

    CLYDE: Great shot, Dan. Go on, Tuffy! Fetch! Good dog! (They both chuckle at the memory.)

    DAN: Those were good times.
    CLYDE: They were, weren’t they?
    DAN: Hard to believe that was fifty years ago.
    CLYDE: I guess so. I’m glad you were there.
    DAN: Me too.
    CLYDE: You don’t do that anymore, do you?
    DAN: Hunting? No. I only did it with you.
    CLYDE: How come?
    DAN: Well, I’m not much for that kind of thing. I don’t own a gun.

    5

    CLYDE: You were good at it. You knocked down two teal on your first time out. DAN: Beginner’s luck.
    CLYDE: Whatever happened to your four-ten?
    DAN: That was yours. You sold it. You remember. When you moved here. CLYDE: I guess.

    DAN: You did. Along with… a lot of other things. CLYDE: All right.

    (Beat. DAN looks at his watch.) CLYDE: I know what’s happening to me. DAN: What?

    CLYDE: I know what’s happening. I know I’m losing my memory, that I’m starting to slip away. But every now and then, I have these moments where the fog lifts and I can remember where I am and what’s going on and I can see…. I’m having one now. We’re sitting in the pharmacy section of the Kroger in Cincinnati, a mile or so from the place where your mother and I now live and we’re all settled in to that “life-enriching community.”

    DAN: Dad, that’s…
    CLYDE: I want to tell you something. DAN: What?

    CLYDE: There were times when I didn’t understand you. I couldn’t figure out what was going on with you, with your…what do you call it… coming out… And your moving around the country, trying to “find yourself,” whatever that meant.

    DAN: Well, Dad, it was…

    6

    CLYDE: I was worried you would never settle down. Find a place. Find someone.

    DAN: Sometimes it takes a while. I was in my own fog for a while. But I did. And now I’m…

    CLYDE (cutting him off): Where’s Adam?
    DAN: Adam?
    CLYDE: Your … partner. Boyfriend. Where is he? DAN: Dad, we broke up years ago.
    CLYDE: I know. I remember. But where is he? DAN: In Chicago. He works for an ad agency. CLYDE: Do you keep in touch with him?
    DAN: Sure, every now and then we talk on the phone. CLYDE: How’s he doing?
    DAN: Good.
    CLYDE: What happened?
    DAN: What do you mean?
    CLYDE: Between you and Adam.
    DAN: We just… It didn’t work out.
    CLYDE: But you were together for…
    DAN: Twenty years.

    CLYDE: Twenty years. You know how long your mother and I have been married?

    7

    DAN: Sixty-five years next June.

    CLYDE: That’s right. Sixty-five years.

    DAN: Some people are lucky like that, Dad.

    CLYDE: It wasn’t luck. I don’t know what it was, but…Any chance you and he will get back together?

    DAN: No, Dad. He’s met someone. They’re getting married soon. CLYDE: Oh. Well, good. (Beat.) Are you seeing anyone?
    DAN: Well, no.
    CLYDE: I hope you find someone. I want to know that you’re happy. DAN: I am, Dad.

    CLYDE: That’s what I wanted to tell you. I love you, I’m proud of you, and all I ever wanted for you was to be happy. You know that, don’t you?

    DAN: Yes, Dad. I’m happy.
    CLYDE: You’re sure?
    DAN: Yes. Very sure. I’m fine. Dad, it’s time for me to tell you something. CLYDE: What? I already know you’re gay. What else is there?

    DAN: You know all those mornings we got up in the dark and drove out to Erie Marsh and sat in that damned Number 7 duck blind and drank that horrible coffee and waited for those stupid ducks to come in?

    CLYDE: Yes, I do remember that. DAN: Well, Dad, I hated it. CYLDE: You hated it?

    8

    DAN: Every damn minute of it. I hated being out in the cold, I hated the smell of the marsh, I hated shooting a duck, seeing it explode in midair and fall into the water. I even hated eating them just to prove that it wasn’t for the sick sport of shooting a bird.

    CLYDE: Then why the hell did you go? I could have taken your brother. Steve would have at least enjoyed it. Why didn’t you say something back then?

    DAN: Because I saw how much it meant to you. It was also the one chance I had to do something with you that didn’t require natural athletic ability like Steve. And…I loved being with you. That meant more to me than anything.

    CLYDE (pats DAN on the shoulder): Thank you for telling me. I will try to remember that.

    DAN: I hope you do, too.

    CLYDE: Good. As long as you’re … happy. (Beat.) I’m afraid.

    DAN: It’s all right, Dad.

    CLYDE: No, it’s not. I know what I’m putting you through… what I’m putting your mother through. It’s only going to get worse.

    DAN: She can handle it.
    CLYDE: But when she can’t?
    DAN: Then we’ll be here for you. CLYDE: You know what the worst part is? DAN: What, Dad.

    CLYDE: The worst part is that I won’t even know it. The fog will roll in and the moments of clarity will be gone and someday they may never come back and I’ll be… and I won’t even know what I’m putting you through, what I’m putting your mother through. That is the cruelest thing.

    9

    DAN (trying hard to maintain control): It’ll be okay, Dad. CLYDE: If you say so.

    (Off stage a small bell rings.)
    DAN: Your prescription’s ready. I’ll be right back. CLYDE: Thank you.

    (DAN exits. CLYDE settles in the chair, cane in his lap. A moment later DAN re-enters carrying a small paper bag.)

    DAN: We’re all set, Dad. Why don’t we just wait here for Mom to come back, okay?

    CLYDE: Okay. Where is she?

    DAN: Oh, she’s probably moved on to the meat department by now, getting some of those chops you like.

    CLYDE: Good. (Beat.) What day is today?
    DAN: It’s Monday.
    CLYDE: Oh. It’s July, right?
    DAN: No, Dad. It’s December. Christmas was three days ago. CLYDE: Oh. (Beat.) Thank you for coming.

    DAN: Happy to do it, Dad. Happy to do it.
    END OF PLAY.

    10

    The Playwright

    Philip Middleton Williams received a Bachelor of Fine Arts in drama from the University of Miami, a Master of Fine Arts in playwriting from the University of Minnesota, and a Ph.D. in theatre from the University of Colorado. His first play, The Hunter, was produced at the University of Minnesota in April 1977 as a part of his master’s degree requirements. Dark Twist was staged by the Actors Ensemble Theatre of Boulder, Colorado, in 1986. The Purer, Brighter Years premiered at the Old Town Playhouse in Traverse City, Michigan in 1992. Here’s Hoping, commissioned by Northern Michigan Planned Parenthood for the Troupe Teen Theatre Company, was presented in Petoskey, Michigan in 1994. Other works include All Together Now, winner of The Playgroup LLC New Play Contest in 2016; Ask Me Anything and Other Short Plays, a collection of ten- minute plays that include Ask Me Anything directed by William Roudebush, A Moment of Clarity directed by Debbie DeCeco Lannen, Last Exit and A Life Enriching Community directed by Jerry Jensen, and Which Way To The Beach directed by Steven A. Chambers, at the New Theatre’s Miami 1-Acts Festivals. His work has also been seen in the South Florida One-Minute Play Festivals.

    Can’t Live Without You was his first play to receive a New York production, at the Manhattan Repertory Theatre in January 2008.

    He has written numerous articles on the works of Inge and Lanford Wilson and contributed to The Facts on File Companion to American Drama edited by Jackson R. Bryer and Mary C. Hartig. His doctoral thesis, A Comfortable House – Lanford Wilson, Marshall W. Mason and the Circle Repertory Theatre, was published by McFarland and Company in 1993.

    He has been a member of The Dramatists Guild since 1984. He presently lives in Miami, Florida.

    11

  117. 117.

    Gin & Tonic

    In the every cloud has a silver lining department, I’ve seen a report that James Dolan has tested positive for COVID-19.

  119. 119.

    mle

    Dirty limerick (can insert name for “He”)

    He is to the hilt Captain Cool
    He shits ice cream as a rule
    Though he’s a bit frosty
    He’s no Mister Softee
    With his jewel of a Popsicle tool

  125. 125.

    Renie

    We interrupt your regular programming here:

    Judge Jeanine was on air completely hammered tonight.   So funny.

    Back to your regular programming.

  129. 129.

    Fair Economist

    @WaterGirl: Ask for votes through your email or other private channel and act based on what you get. Give a couple days and drop a reminder into respite threads now and again.

  133. 133.

    Tom54

    formerly livinginexile        There once was a network called Fox                                                                                                that infected  the country with Pox                                                                                                                      if one lie would do                                                                                                                                                  they made sure to tell two,                                                                                                                                  while strutting and crowing like cocks.

  134. 134.

    WaterGirl

    @Tom54: Progress!  You were in SPAM, not deleted this time.  Is this a new IP address?

    edit: looks like the same IP.  Try posting another comment to see if the 2nd will go through?

  135. 135.

    Tom54

    I tried a new nym and new e-mail.  I’m a computer idiot so don’t know about IP address.                         It worked!!!!!

  143. 143.

    WaterGirl

    @Tom54: Yay!  While we’re both here, you could try your old nym with the new email.  I would have to approve the first one, but we could see if the second one will go through without problem.

  146. 146.

    Viva BrisVegas

    There once was a POTUS called Trump
    Who would only sit on his rump
    While the nation bore pandemics
    He demanded panegyrics
    From governors who couldn’t give a hump

  151. 151.

    WaterGirl

    I have added this thread to the new No Cabin Fever For Us! section in the sidebar, for easy access so everyone who is interested can check out all the great entries in this thread.

    Heading for bed.

  154. 154.

    WaterGirl

    I stole this from John Revolta on the other thread.  Not exactly a haiku or limerick, but I thought it was fun and it fits well enough.

    To the tune of Guantanamera, of course.

    One ton o’mayo
    With a big hunk o’tomato
    Give me one ton o’mayo
    On my bacon, lettuce and tomato

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