My mom is asking me how to use Zoom.
Zoom is officially Facebook now.
— Hamza Shaban (@hshaban) March 30, 2020
Remember the old days* when Michael Bloomberg regularly bought up TV time for campaign ads? Or when candidates like Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobuchar were competing for the presidential nomination?
* that was this month. Time is moving in strange ways.
— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) March 30, 2020
Some upcoming events of possible interest:
Join @HelenBranswell of @statnews, @laurahelmuth of @washingtonpost & new ed-in-chief of @sciam, and me for a @reddit AMA about #COVID19 and journalism. Monday, 12pm EDT https://t.co/f5XFvjO1NB Proof– pic.twitter.com/0y2jqhX3ow
— Carl Zimmer (@carlzimmer) March 29, 2020
Wow! These really are two of the smartest disaster historians out there. (Tried to get my former institution to hire both of them, in fact.) Will look forward to this interview on Monday. https://t.co/PN58YrsHNi
— Monica H Green (@monicaMedHist) March 28, 2020
You've got questions, we've got answers. Join Kristen Bell & special guests for the #KidsTogether Town Hall on all things Coronavirus this Monday at 7p/6c pic.twitter.com/Pw9miJ6FaR
— Nickelodeon (@Nickelodeon) March 27, 2020
David Dobrik will join other celebrity guests in a 1-hour Nickelodeon special about COVID-19. â#KidsTogether: A Nickelodeon Town Hallâ hosted by Kristen Bell will air Monday, March 30th at 7pm PT/10pm ET. pic.twitter.com/FmhG66mTgP
— VlogSquadReporter (@vlogsquadreport) March 28, 2020
And this guy, in the future, will confine his off-hour hobbies to “… building shelves, making furniture and doing some tiling”:
âAn Australian astrophysicist has been admitted to hospital after getting four magnets stuck up his nose in an attempt to invent a device that stops people touching their faces during the coronavirus outbreak.â https://t.co/muBspygUke
— Hamza Shaban (@hshaban) March 30, 2020
Immanentize
BLECH
rikyrah
Good Morning, Everyone ???
debbie
Jesus, insanity has infected even the astrophysical crowdâŠ
debbie
I think the NIckleodeon town hall is a great idea. Kid are also suppressing their worries and will have an opportunity to express them and get answers. Yay, Kristen!
OzarkHillbilly
@debbie: The article at the Guardian is hilarious. I am still laughing my ass off.
Especially this part:
Steeplejack (phone)
@rikyrah:
Good morning. ?
Baud
@rikyrah: Good morning.
Immanentize
@debbie: I wish instead that the astrophysical would infect the Jesus crowd.
Baud
If you put the magnets in your nose backwards, your hands will be attracted to your face. Major potential for operator error.
debbie
@OzarkHillbilly:
OMG. “At this point I ran out of magnets.â ?
Immanentize
@debbie: It sounds more like he ran out of mescaline.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Baud: Only if you have a magnetic personality.
Sloane Ranger
I see that Dominic Cummings has developed COVID 19 symptoms.
If he has indeed caught the virus, it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
OzarkHillbilly
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Ouch. And NotMax isn’t even here yet.
satby
@rikyrah:Â @Steeplejack (phone):Â @Baud: weird, it lost the good morning, but I added it back in.
@Immanentize:Â ?
satby
@Sloane Ranger: it is so unfair that British stupid leaders have caught it but ours haven’t.
satby
@?BillinGlendaleCA: oy!
satby
@OzarkHillbilly:Â if I was her, I would totally have done the same thing.
Melusine
????????????????????????????????????????????
How the fuck do magnets work anyway???
Lapassionara
Good morning, everyone. So the ad at the top of the page this morning, at least for me, is for a provider of hospice care. Hmmmm. Does my iPad know something I donât know?
debbie
For NotMax: Oy.
AN OPEN LETTER TO DR. ANTHONY FAUCI ASKING FOR PASSOVER SEDER ADVICE
Betty Cracker
The D. Diamond tweet about warped perceptions of time in a single eventful month is so true. Was just reviewing something work-related from the first week of March that touches on the economy. It’s an artifact from another era now.
Baud
@satby:
If I were him, I would have said nothing and lived with the magnets.
debbie
@Immanentize:
Sometimes an inquiring mind is the last thing one needs.
OzarkHillbilly
@satby: Me too.
Ian R
@Sloane Ranger: the Johns Hopkins tracker says it’s happened to 735,558 nicer guys. And Rand Paul.
Betty Cracker
@debbie: Tangentially related:
OzarkHillbilly
@Baud: I have been “him”. It helps to be able to laugh at one’s foibles. Everybody else will. Might as well join in.
Amir Khalid
@satby:
I’m not so sure that they won’t. I have a hunch that they aren’t very careful about social distancing and all that in the Trump White House.
Baud
@debbie:
“If I put lamb’s blood on my front door, will coronavirus pass over me?”
zhena gogolia
Checking the BJ overnight threads used to be my fun first-thing-in-the-morning activity. I guess that has to end. Along with everything else, I suppose.
Baud
@OzarkHillbilly:
Me too, if you replace “nose” with “ass.”
Baud
@zhena gogolia:
What happened overnight?
debbie
@Betty Cracker:
Heh, if my family decides to try teleSedering, they’ll all rush to their doors to welcome Elijah. Half will probably forget to wander back to their screens.
OzarkHillbilly
@debbie: Heh.
Baud
@Betty Cracker:
B.C. Before Covid.
OzarkHillbilly
@Baud: I’m an ass all the time, just ask my wife.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: When looking into space, no one can keep you from sticking magnets up your nose.
JPL
@debbie: haa
mrmoshpotato
@OzarkHillbilly: “Denies further magnets” LMAO
mrmoshpotato
@Melusine: Dunno. Ask an astrophysicist.
mrmoshpotato
@Baud: Baud! 2020! Live with magnets on your nose!
satby
@Amir Khalid: they should already have it ?. One of Pence’s aides tested positive about a week ago.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Not a lot of the aforementioned fun, and lots of coronavirus.
mrmoshpotato
@Baud: So let it be written, so let it be done.
WaterGirl
@Baud: I call it “in the before times”, but your’s is definitely shorter.
Unfortunately, B.C. also stands for Betty Cracker, so if I were her I’m not sure I’d want to go with that one! :-)
JPL
First thing this morning I read this..  Epstein is the person the right is using as validation that we are overreacting to the virus.  All I can say is wow.. what a trumpian jerk. Oh, and the journalist makes him look like the idiot that he is.
The Contrarian Cornavirus Theory that Informed the Trump Administration. Â
debbie
@Amir Khalid:
He probably demands they stand too close to him just to prove it’s all a Democrat hoax. //
debbie
@JPL:
He should not have been allowed to record the call. Just imagine what O’Keeffe will do with it.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: “I’m luxurious and tremendous, and the Coronavirus is a total loser! Now come close enough to kiss my ample orange ass.”
rikyrah
@satby:
How do we know that they haven’t?
rikyrah
Baud
@WaterGirl:
Thanks.
JPL
@debbie: I like the part when Epstein brags about Gates agreeing with him, and then Gates comment is read to him…Â Â The guy just says well I misread it, like it was no big deal.
Spanky
Having known more than a few astrophysicists in my time, I’ll just say that I’m totally unsurprised.
zhena gogolia
@Baud:
Anne Laurie posts 3000 tweets, and the news is not good.
Dorothy A. Winsor
The phrase “It ain’t astrophysics” takes on a whole new meaning.
WaterGirl
@rikyrah: It’s appalling, isn’t it, that our leaders are so awful that we can’t just dismiss the idea that they know damn good and well that they are killing people with their lies and misinformation about coronavirus, but they feel it’s worth it because they can kill people in the blue states by not giving them the resources they need?
Anne Laurie
Remember the old joke about why lawyers are safe from sharks?
Professional courtesy!
Betty Cracker
@JPL: I read that this morning too. Amazeballs. It’s unsurprising that a Hoover Institution hack has an unscientific “contrarian” take on the virus, but that his crackpot ravings came so close to driving public policy changes is alarming. Also unsurprising because Trump.
Chotiner is a devastating interviewer. I sure wouldn’t want to go up against him for a stupid thing I’ve said. Did you read his take-down of Bret Easton Ellis? Brutal.
NotMax
Links which might be of aid to those experiencing strain from the new regimen.
How to keep your sanity when you feel like the world is going crazy
How to Work From Home Without Losing Your Mind
Dorothy A. Winsor
More lovely music to brighten your morning.
Soprano2
I’m trying hard to control my impulse to post something to Facebook like “Now that their god has said COVID-19 is serious, perhaps all his worshipers will take it seriously”. I’ve got friends and family members among those sycophants, and I don’t want to alienate them, but I’m about done with worrying about hurting their little fee-fees. Our karaoke DJ was told a week ago that she most likely has it, but she can’t get a test to make sure because there aren’t enough tests because of their fucking “god”, so she’s sitting at home self-quarantined and not knowing for sure. I just mentioned to my boss that the guy who cleans all the offices could be a problem; they’ve divided us up into groups and sections, and we’re supposed to stay in our section of the building as much as possible. The guy we have who cleans the buildings goes everywhere! What if he gets it, we’re completely screwed. I told the boss’ boss he should hire a cleaning service before he hired this last guy, but he likes having someone to do his little projects for him.
JPL
@Betty Cracker: OMG… Chotiner is good..  Thank you for the link…
You came to the defense of Roseanne Barr, saying that she denied, after tweeting racist stuff about Valerie Jarrett, knowing Valerie Jarrett was black.
Did she say that? That she didnât know she was black?
You say it in the book.
Yeah, right, I quoted her.
JPL
@Betty Cracker: The right wing has to go with the whackos they have not the ones they wish to have.
Geminid
@JPL: The Covid-19 crisis has provided many examples of smart people like Tom Friedman saying dumb things. The New Yorker interview of Richard Epstein that you cite is a doozie.
Betty Cracker
@JPL: Wasn’t that a thing of beauty? It sounded to me like Ellis wrote a really stupid, ill-conceived book to externalize a tedious, ongoing argument with his boyfriend, and damn, did Chotiner smash every premise to pieces. Made Ellis look like a gibbering moron. :)
NotMax
As for the astrophysicist, no secret that people will go to ridiculous lengths attempting to make themselves more … attractive.
Dorothy A. Winsor
I know I’d be happier if I could make a loose schedule for myself to structure my day. Stuff like morning and afternoon walk (30 minutes each), writing time (2 hours), housework, cooking, maybe pick some project to learn, etc. It would take my mind off possibly getting very unpleasantly sick or possibly dying and lessen the time I spend surfing the web getting more and more anxious and angry. But I’m having trouble making myself do it.
Partly I’d be at loose ends right now anyway since I just finished a book. I usually need a little break before I start a new project.
Amir Khalid
@Geminid:
Tom Friedman â smart people
OzarkHillbilly
I prefer to use the phrase, “Lord and Savior…” especially with the atheist among them.
OzarkHillbilly
@NotMax: Double Ouch.
ETA: good thing I don’t need magnets.
Spanky
Wait. what?
scav
@Amir Khalid: That’s certainly the set theory I’m familiar with.
OzarkHillbilly
@Dorothy A. Winsor: You could do what I did. Buy some acreage and vow to garden every available inch.
NotMax
Weirdest thing yesterday – had a fleeting, deeply intense, gnawing craving for (of all things) salt water taffy. Lasted all of one minute and then was gone. Not that I keep it in the house, anyway, and haven’t eaten any for many decades.
Gin & Tonic
@Amir Khalid: Ooh, I just love set-theoretic notation.
zhena gogolia
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Do you have Zoom? I try to schedule a Zoom meeting with some good friend every day. The telephone would probably work just as well, though.
Geminid
@JPL: I think you live Va. like I do. Curious: Do you think Gov. Northam will need to order a full lockdown? From my observation people in rural Greene County and in Charlottesville are taking taking social distance guidance very seriously, and most businesses have closed. I drove a long country route home Friday afternoon and at 5pm the roads were almost empty. But I can only guess how things are in other places. Do you think Northam should pull the trigger on a full scale lockdown?
OzarkHillbilly
@Betty Cracker: I have to say, I am about halfway thru that interview and the pain is getting unbearable.
ETA
Yeah, we know.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@OzarkHillbilly: I could! My building also has these raised garden beds that residents can sign up to use, but it snowed last week, so it’s a little early to use that as a project.
@zhena gogolia: I do have zoom. My writer group has been using it to meet every Wednesday night at our regular time. That bit of my old life is still happening, which is very comforting. I should make the effort to phone people too. I keep meaning to and then the day slips away with me doing nothing much.
Jeffro
@debbie: I read too quickly the first time through and saw it as ‘Nickelback town hall’.
I was like, “Why would anyone want Nickelback hosting a town hall?” Â But then again, in this crappy timeline, anything’s possible…
OzarkHillbilly
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Snow-schmo, just another challenge to overcome. :-)
Jeffro
@Geminid:
@JPL: I’m here in central VA and while I think people are taking social distancing well, a) they need to take it more seriously (I’m still seeing all kinds of groups congregating in parks, on trails, on the Lawn, etc) and b) it’s not just Northam – all governors/the entire country need to do this for the entire month of April if we really want to ‘flatten the curve’.
It’s deadly serious and people need to think of how they might bring it home to their loved ones, and/or what will happen if enough docs, nurses, cops, and EMTs get it (which they are starting to here). Â Not good.
NotMax
As someone who is not fond of using the phone and does so only reluctantly, Zooming would drive me completely round the twist.
OzarkHillbilly
@NotMax: Yo tambien, amigo.
zhena gogolia
@NotMax:
Oh, man, a Zoom meeting with you where we discuss mediocre 1930s movies would be so great.
zhena gogolia
So has anyone discussed Emma (2020) yet? We rented it and watched it last night. It is a trip.
JPL
@Geminid: I live in GA  There is a strong value in locking down the entire state because it would alleviate the pressure on individual mayors to make all the decisions.  Locally the mayor is being fed Richard Epstein type of garbage about the need to open up the restaurants and then on the other side those complaining about kids gathering together on sidewalks and in grassy areas.
One of the areas here that folks are congregating at is a location where city property butts up against a national park.
O. Felix Culpa
@zhena gogolia:
A trip as in good and worth watching or as in don’t take the brown acid? Inquiring minds want to know.
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
See that it includes Miranda Hart, so a plus right there.
Joey Maloney
@Geminid:
Is this a joke?
zhena gogolia
@O. Felix Culpa:
Well, if you’re a Jane Austen fan it might not be your favorite adaptation of Emma — it’s rather cold, at least in the first half. But as a film it’s very enjoyable, with fantastic costumes, settings, and music. And Bill Nighy.
@NotMax:Â She’s one of the best things in it.
Fair Economist
@Sloane Ranger: Looks like the entire Tory party leadership got it. Take it in the chin, indeed.
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
Watched the quirky, silly 40s B-film One Body Too Many yesterday, worth it primarily for seeing Bela Lugosi dipping his toes into comedy.
Each time he asks “Anybody want a cup of coffee?” it becomes more humorous.
Geminid
@JPL: Sorry, now I remember that you have spoken of Georgia matters often. I have friends in Atlanta who are very much hunkered down, as well they should be. Sorry about your idiot governor; he doesn’t seem to have a lot going on upstairs.
zhena gogolia
@NotMax:
Sounds great.
Geminid
@Jeffro: Thanks. I work outside and alone, and I don’t need to talk in person to my customers, but it is non-essential work and I think I’d better wrap up what I can this week, at least in Charlottesville.
Betty Cracker
@zhena gogolia: Haven’t seen it yet, but it’s on my list.
cliosfanboy
@Geminid: i lean against him doing it but he may have to.
Fair Economist
In terms of time being strange, I was wondering yesterday what the unemployment numbers were this week. Then I realized the 3.3 million number had been released only 3 days before. 5 fold times any before and 3 days later it feels like ancient history.
zhena gogolia
@Betty Cracker:
We’re big fans of Johnny Flynn, who plays Mr. Knightley. He also wrote and sings the song that plays over the end credits. He first caught our eye as Dobbin in the recent Vanity Fair adaptation — he’s a very soulful actor.
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
Shame that Pete Postlethwaite is no more.Would have been a natural to fit into Austen adaptations.
(Opportunity to recommend seeing him in Dickens’ Martin Chuzzlewit, available on Prime.)
japa21
@Fair Economist: The new numbers are supposed to be out Friday. Wonder if they will be suppressed.
Miss Bianca
@zhena gogolia: We were supposed to be showing it next month at the movie theater. Le sigh. So it’s already out on DVD?
WaterGirl
@JPL: I just finished that article. Â My main takeaway is that Richard Epstein was talking out of his ass, with his own made-up theories, stating things as facts that simply are not true, and not identifying his theories as his own pure speculation.
And Trump listens as if it’s pure gospel.
NotMax
@WaterGirl
Dolt 45 may be an undercover Pakled. It would explain a lot.
;)
joel hanes
@Geminid:
Tom Friedman is not a smart person.
The next six months will be critical in demonstrating that fact.
joel hanes
@WaterGirl:
Richard Epstein was talking out of his ass
Richard Epstein thinks he’s using “evolution” to justify his desired conclusions, but judging from his remarks, Richard Epstein knows very little about evolution, and most of what he knows is wrong.  Some of it is not even wrong.
laura
@JPL: that’s what Chotiner is known for – allow the subject to hoist themself up on their own petard.
WaterGirl
@joel hanes: Absolutely. Â He not only makes stuff up, but he extrapolates from situations that are very different from the current one and applies it to the current situation as if it were known fact.
God/Dog save us from charlatans, sociopaths, and arrogant idiots.
JPL
@laura: It’s fascinating to me that someone like Epstein thinks so much about his personal brilliance, that he just assumes he can sell his crap to anyone.  Especially if that person is Chotiner.
Geminid
@joel hanes: Well, I’m guessing Friedman tested well, but I’ve never thought intelligence was as important as good sense, which seems to be distributed independent of IQ.
Just Chuck
@Baud: You could call it a “Facepalm Assistance Device”. Normally I need Twitter for that.
Just Chuck
@joel hanes:
ISWYDT
zhena gogolia
@Miss Bianca:
No, I rented it on Amazon Prime.
brantl
@Betty Cracker: It isn’t very hard to make a clay pot look like a clay pot………