Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

In my day, never was longer.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

Republicans do not pay their debts.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Usually wrong but never in doubt

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

I also would like a pony to improve my balloon juice experience.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about it’s history.”

You are here: Home / Healthcare / COVID-19 / It Could Be Worse (Gallows Humor, Kinda-Not-Really Respite)

It Could Be Worse (Gallows Humor, Kinda-Not-Really Respite)

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There are actually worse ways to respond to the epidemic than those attempted by serial sexual criminal and bankrupt Donald Trump. He’s bad; terrible. But Belarusan President Alexander Lukashenko is undeniably worse.

As death tolls have skyrocketed globally and many countries have closed their borders and shut down nonessential businesses, Lukashenko has advanced his own solutions to the crisis, urging citizens to drink vodka and visit saunas.

It Could Be Worse (Gallows Humor, Kinda-Not-Really Respite

Not for such a manly man (or his deeply unfortunate country) are vapid, bourgeois trifles like epidemiology and public health.  The measures undertaken by just about everyone else, including, however imperfectly, the US are to Lukashenko, “frenzy and psychosis.”

What to do, then, to lead la vida Lukashenko?

“It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees!” he told a reporter just before the game. “Sport, especially on ice, is better than any antiviral medication. It is the real thing.”

It isn’t funny, not really. Such insanity is a death sentence for too many Belarussians–a country that has seen way more than its share of misrule and misery.

But viciously, bitterly humorous? Maybe a little.

Open thread, especially for jokes of the oppressed.

Image: Annibale Caracci, Boy Drinking, 1582-1583.

Reader Interactions

97Comments

  1. 1.

    Gravenstone

    When I first read of his proposed ‘solution’ to corvid, I thought there would soon be an unfortunately large number of people who die while drunk and sweaty. That does not seem like an optimal choice.

  3. 3.

    RedDirtGirl

    Open thread? I just had a fright. The owner of my dog guest may be coming back to NY sooner rather than later. But turns out she is willing to leave her with my household for longer since she has a small child, and the pup is getting more attention here than she would at home. Soooooo grateful that my visitor isn’t leaving any time too soon!

  5. 5.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Related:

    Doctor Who Met Putin Days Ago Tests Positive for COVID-19, Reports Say

    They met face-to-face apparently, but I think Putin was in his bright yellow HAZMAT suit for the encounter. Nevermind, apparently he DID meet him without protective gear. And even shook hands with the guy! There’s a picture!

    Foreign Policy: In the Coronavirus, Putin May Have Met His Match: The Russian leader still wants to make himself president for life. But COVID-19 is fomenting new distrust in the state he built.

  11. 11.

    Martin

    Texas locked down. Their attempt to not be California has now failed. All Texans are now gay vegans. Enjoy your yoga. Yeehaw.

  12. 12.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @cain:

    Potentially. I’m sure if he did test positive, we’d probably never hear about it unless he died

  13. 13.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Martin:

    Now all we need is…. *checks notes*….. Alabama, Florida and probably a bunch of others I’m missing

  15. 15.

    CaseyL

    The painting illustrating this post fascinates me:  it has so many “painterly” elements, it could almost be something an art professor assigns advanced students to test what they know:  Fabric! rumpled and draped fabric!  lace!  flesh tones!  flesh tones through glass!  bone structure!  unusual head position!

    …whew.  Whole lot going on there.

  17. 17.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    A Doctor Who Met Putin Just Tested Positive, and Russia’s COVID-19 Crackdowns Could Get Real Ugly

    One of the most stunning moves was taken in Hungary, a member of the European Union, where the parliament passed a bill giving Prime Minister Viktor Orbán—one of Putin’s closest EU soulmates—virtually unlimited powers to rule by decree; suspending parliament; canceling elections; threatening up to five years in prison for those who spread “fake new” and rumors (read, criticism of the regime); and up to eight years in prison for those who break the quarantine. All this for as long as Orbán wants.

    “And there it is,” tweeted historian and columnist Anne Applebaum, “The European Union’s first dictatorship. None of these powers is needed to fight the virus. But they will help distract and deter opposition, especially when it becomes clear that the government has no better plan.”

  18. 18.

    MattF

    I guess we’re now going to have a real-time experiment in cognitive dissonance. Except… that presumes there’s cognition going on.

  19. 19.

    EthylEster

    Regarding “It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees!”

    From Catch-22:

    “Because it’s better to die on one’s feet than live on one’s knees,” Nately retorted with triumphant and lofty conviction.

    Old Italian Man: You have it backwards! It is better to live on your feet than to die on your knees.

  20. 20.

    Calouste

    I don’t know if Lukashenko is the worst. Bolsonaro has managed to get his posts pulled by both Twitter and Facebook, which really is an achievement considering the usual deference to right wing extremists by both. Of course the misinformation by the American Bolsonaro is still there.

  24. 24.

    delk

    Asshole holy roller David Green owner /ceo of Hobby Lobby is refusing to close his stores. God told his wife to tell their employees that they would be protected. I guess he needs to recoup all the money he spent on fake Dead Sea Scrolls he bought for his grift museum.

  25. 25.

    Ivan X

    I went to Belarus (well, Minsk) last year on a lark with a friend. Nice people, prettyish city (in a Soviet fashion; Stalin designed it as a “poster city” on the road to Moscow). Whenever we asked anyone about Lukashenko, they’d look side to side and quietly implore us to shut up.

    We also got to ride around on the top of an Afghan war tank at an outdoor artillery museum, and fire vintage machine guns, so there’s that.

  26. 26.

    AWJ

    Wow. The Atlantic just published a straight-up Francoist manifesto by some wingnut law professor named Adrian Vermeule:

    https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/03/common-good-constitutionalism/609037/

    This shit is juicy. Some choice quotes:

    “The hostile environment that made originalism a useful rhetorical and political expedient is now gone[…]Assured of this, conservatives ought to turn their attention to developing new and more robust alternatives to both originalism and left-liberal constitutionalism.”

    “These principles include respect for the authority of rule and of rulers; respect for the hierarchies needed for society to function[…]and a candid willingness to “legislate morality””

    “Its main aim is certainly not to maximize individual autonomy or to minimize the abuse of power (an incoherent goal in any event), but instead to ensure that the ruler has the power needed to rule well.”

    “[C]ommon-good constitutionalism does not suffer from a horror of political domination and hierarchy, because it sees that law is parental, a wise teacher and an inculcator of good habits. Just authority in rulers can be exercised for the good of subjects, if necessary even against the subjects’ own perceptions of what is best for them[…]Subjects will come to thank the ruler whose legal strictures, possibly experienced at first as coercive, encourage subjects to form more authentic desires for the individual and common goods, better habits, and beliefs that better track and promote communal well-being.”

    “The claim[…]that each individual may “define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life” should be not only rejected but stamped as abominable, beyond the realm of the acceptable forever after. So too should the libertarian assumptions central to free-speech law and free-speech ideology[…]”

    “As for the structure and distribution of authority within government, common-good constitutionalism will favor a powerful presidency ruling over a powerful bureaucracy[…]The bureaucracy will be seen not as an enemy, but as the strong hand of legitimate rule.”

    “[C]onstitutional law will define in broad terms the authority of the state to protect the public’s health and well-being[…]even when doing so requires overriding the selfish claims of individuals to private “rights.” Thus the state will enjoy authority to curb the social and economic pretensions of the urban-gentry liberals who so often place their own satisfactions (financial and sexual) and the good of their class or social milieu above the common good.”

  27. 27.

    Another Scott

    https://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/article/Exclusive-Captain-of-aircraft-carrier-with-15167883.php

    The captain of a nuclear aircraft carrier with more than 100 sailors infected with the coronavirus pleaded Monday with U.S. Navy officials for resources to allow isolation of his entire crew and avoid possible deaths in a situation he described as quickly deteriorating.

    The unusual plea from Capt. Brett Crozier, a Santa Rosa native, came in a letter obtained exclusively by The Chronicle and confirmed by a senior officer on board the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt, which has been docked in Guam following a COVID-19 outbreak among the crew of more than 4,000 less than a week ago.

    “This will require a political solution but it is the right thing to do,” Crozier wrote. “We are not at war. Sailors do not need to die. If we do not act now, we are failing to properly take care of our most trusted asset — our Sailors.”

    In the four-page letter to senior military officials, Crozier said only a small contingent of infected sailors have been off-boarded. Most of the crew remain aboard the ship, where following official guidelines for 14-day quarantines and social distancing is impossible.

    “Due to a warship’s inherent limitations of space, we are not doing this,” Crozier wrote. “The spread of the disease is ongoing and accelerating.”

    He asked for “compliant quarantine rooms” on shore in Guam for his entire crew “as soon as possible.”

    […]

    Sailors were screened prior to returning on board. The first three sailors tested positive 15 days after leaving Vietnam, officials said.

    The virus has been hard to contain on board ever since. Federal and military guidelines recommend individual quarantine, including no use of common areas.

    “Due to the close quarters required on a warship and the current number of positive cases, every single Sailor, regardless of rank, on board the TR must be considered ‘close contact,’” Crozier wrote.

    […]

    :-(

    It’s everywhere. Stay home! Wash your hands!!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  29. 29.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @AWJ:

    “Its main aim is certainly not to maximize individual autonomy or to minimize the abuse of power (an incoherent goal in any event), but instead to ensure that the ruler has the power needed to rule well.”

    Jesus fucking Christ. This is outright fascism. It’s so paternalistic and self-righteous, it makes me want to vomit

    even when doing so requires overriding the selfish claims of individuals to private “rights.” Thus the state will enjoy authority to curb the social and economic pretensions of the urban-gentry liberals who so often place their own satisfactions (financial and sexual) and the good of their class or social milieu above the common good.”

    This is pretty fucking rich. What does this fuck think rich and powerful conservatives do all day?

  30. 30.

    Tony Jay

    Meanwhile over here in Greatest Brexitania, NHS staff are reporting a swathe of gagging measures being brought in by Hospital Trust managers who are happy to make their doctors and nurses work without adequate PPE, but less happy when the staff have the temerity to tell anyone about it. From threatening e-mails to outright sending doctors home, the moneygrubbing ‘business managers’ who infest the NHS have been exposed as more interested in keeping up appearances than they are in the lives of the people on the front-line in this pandemic.

    This should be a scandal, but since it shines a bright light on the Government’s unforgivable refusal to do any planning or preparation for a crisis they were warned about months ago, it’s virtually certain that our shitty Media will confine itself to a couple of softball questions at the next Coronavirus Briefing that the latest man-baby Minister will brush off as isolated communications errors that they know nothing about but are sure will be dealt with appropriately… and that will be that.

    These fucking people.

  31. 31.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Another Scott:

    And wear a mask in public if you have them or can make one. The CDC is apparently reconsidering their earlier recommendations.

    I think universal mask wearing by the public is going to be necessary eventually to knock down the R0 of this virus below 1

  32. 32.

    Soprano2

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Missouri, you’re missing Missouri.  We’re still on the bullshit “county by county” system.  Even though we had the largest percentage increase in cases last week, our useless Governor Parsons won’t declare a statewide stay-at-home order.

  39. 39.

    cain

    @Soprano2:

     

    Calls for the governor to kneel before the virus were heard.

    Taim said, with his mouth twisted in a malevolent smirk, “Kneel Governor, or be knelt”

    On a day of violent smoking ruins, on the plains of war:

    The governor knelt under the COVID-19 sign – and the world was changed forever.

     

    Excerpts from The Dragon Reborn

  40. 40.

    mrmoshpotato

    @cain:

    So Putin is spreading it personally then..  look forward to the Putin Trump Summit. 

    Then sneeze all over one another, and conclude with a sloppy, wet kiss.  (Sorry not sorry, Dump sucks Kremlin ass.)

  42. 42.

    JPL

    @RedDirtGirl: Finches make the best dogs btw.   It’s a well known fact.

    Mentioned this before years ago, the young man next door saw Mr. Finch eating a worm, and said what do you expect after naming him after a bird.

  43. 43.

    zeecube

    @AWJ: Ouch.  My eyes hurt after reading that codswallop.  Does make me wonder how the Author would apply  “common sense constitutionalism” to interpreting the Second Amendment.

  44. 44.

    CaseyL

    @AWJ: I heard about that essay but didn’t have the stomach to read it.

    I also have an awful feeling this reasoning will evoked in future SCOTUS rulings if T* wins in November.

  46. 46.

    Greenergood

    • @Tony Jay: yes my friend’s SIL in the north of Engerland is a hospital nurse and has been told not to give details so as ‘not to alarm the public’.  I can understand the need to not cause panic, but I feel that they’re lying to us, not diverting us from panic.
  47. 47.

    Barbara

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Florida seems to be county by county.  South Florida (the Miami-Dade megalopolis) is now under a lockdown.  Basically, the governor of Florida was trying to hold out for spring break.  Just another homicidal sociopath who figured the sick ones would be leaving to be a problem in some other state soon enough, and yet who seems to have no problem blaming Nah Yawkers for bringing COVID-19 in from outside.

  50. 50.

    Splitting Image

    It appears that I’ve had a near miss with the Coronavirus. I found out yesterday that our plant just got shut down because one of my co-workers tested positive and they’re scrubbing the place down.

    I’m not in much danger because I’ve been working from home since the 13th, but if it hadn’t been for the shutdown orders and the fact that my job can be done from home, I’d be in quarantine now. Plant workers, who obviously had to go in to work, got the shaft as usual.

    I was already mad as hell at scofflaws who are flouting the social distancing rules and the scum who are trying to re-open businesses while the virus is still spreading, but this really drives it home.

  52. 52.

    kindness

    Open thread with jokes for the oppressed?  Where are the BernieBro jokes then?  There should be 1,000.  Those poor oppressed babies.

  53. 53.

    Robert Sneddon

    The current XKCD strip by Randall Munroe explains how the coronavirus will be defeated by pasta and hugs (and using our brains).

  54. 54.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):

    the urban-gentry liberals who so often place their own satisfactions (financial and sexual) 

    Wingnuts in the bedroom again.  Haha, I kid!  They never left!  St. Ronnie’s ghost watches all of our sexy times.

  55. 55.

    Jay

    The numbers of Billionaires pushing for everyone to go back to work, proves one thing, and one thing only.

    They don’t make their money.

    You do.

  59. 59.

    Mary G

    @AWJ:

     

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):

     

    @zeecube:

    That article is yet another step in the Republicans’ plan to use COVID19 to institute authoritarianism in America. They started with Bill Barr’s “I need to lock people up without a trial for as long as I feel like” and now this bullshit. It’s actually kind of good that Twitler is president, because only the 27% would think it’s a good idea to let him be dictator. If they were advocating  for Andrew Cuomo, they’d probably get a lot of “fuck, yeahs” from scared people looking for a strong daddy. I didn’t read the article, but I’ve seen a lot of ridicule and pushback against it, which is good.

  64. 64.

    Jay

    To hear us talk about it, you’d think a hospital was only populated with doctors and nurses… sometimes we will add on mention of “and other staff.” We can’t care for a single patient without those “other staff.” Here are a few (thread).— Esther “STAY HOME” Choo, MD MPH (@choo_ek) March 30, 2020

  65. 65.

    mrmoshpotato

    @kindness: Ok.

    What do you call a politician who got beaten like a rented mule in 2016, and is currently losing by 303 delegates?

  68. 68.

    Tony Jay

    @Greenergood:

    If the simple fact that the analscabs are trying to threaten NHS staff to keep them silent about the dangers they face wasn’t bad enough (and make no mistake, it is machete-hello bad) the slimy, two-part way they’re phrasing some of their threats makes my veins bulge. Doctors and nurses sharing pictures of the jury-rigged PPE they’ve had to make up in the absence of proper masks and gloves is considered “unprofessional behaviour” and “likely to make the public question their adherence to the standards expected of NHS staff”. The cheeky fuckers.

    Tumbrils. Lots of ’em. Stat.

  69. 69.

    Kattails

    @RedDirtGirl: I understand, but there are like a gazillion animals in shelters who would be thrilled to bits to be your bestest buddy in the whole world..

  70. 70.

    Jay

    My aunt has epilepsy and mental health disorders and has been institutionalized for most of her adult life. The conditions where she is are terrible. She’s had a fever for 5 days and the ny dept of health says they’re not coming back.

    Everyone is going to die in there.— Imani Gandy ☄️?? (@AngryBlackLady) March 31, 2020

  71. 71.

    Jay

    We’re in the middle of a pandemic, so when nobody was looking, Idaho made it illegal for trans people to update their birth certificates because of course they fucking did.— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) March 31, 2020

    Idaho won’t be the last state to do stuff like this, either. And it won’t be limited to just attacks on trans people. Look at how certain states are using the pandemic as an excuse to try to ban abortion or the federal government rolling back environmental protections.— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) March 31, 2020

  72. 72.

    Tony Jay

    @mrmoshpotato:

    NHS England are, of course, giving their fullest support to the medical staff.

    Nah. If course they’re not. Instead they’re claiming that there simply can’t be a problem with threats and censorship because, look, there’s doctors and nurses all over social media freely saying how shit things are and how badly they’re being treated. So everything is golden, yah?

    And the ‘serious’ Media are simply not interested. They’re far too busy queing up for the latest honkathon of easy identified lies and blame shifting put on by Funny Fat Man’s underlings.

    This country is fucked. Where’s the wine?

  73. 73.

    Duane

    @CaseyL: Your comment made me go look at the painting again. Normally I glance at the painting and move on. Also one hand is the lower front, one in the upper back of the painting. What I know about art consists of little and nothing. You made me think. Thanks.

  74. 74.

    Jay

    This morning, we talked about that call Donald Trump had with the governors, where Montana’s Steve Bullock told Trump in no uncertain terms that they didn’t have the damn coronavirus tests they need to avert catastrophe there. In response, Trump said he just hasn’t heard anything about testing problems lately, and if he hasn’t heard about it, it must not exist.

    The New York Times reported on that too.

    “ Trump suggests that lack of testing is no longer a problem.

    Governers Disagree.”

    Oh for God’s sake.

  76. 76.

    Jay

    @Tony Jay:

    sorry Tony.

    walked down to the Hospital last night for the 7pm noise.

    PPE isn’t a problem here. There was a surge created shortfall, but people stepped up, and the system has backfilled the shortage.

  77. 77.

    Tony Jay

    @Jay:

    Send us your precious things!

    We’ll send you sexy goats in return. How is that not fair?

    ps) Also send wine

  78. 78.

    Duane

    @Soprano2: Governor Parson is a coward. He’s afraid to buck his rural Trump loving base, overwhelming evidence, numbers, expert pleading be damned. He has a phone number. 573-751-3222. Give the un-elected dumbass a call.

  79. 79.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Here’s the list of states that weren’t locked down as of yesterday: North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Utah, Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, Florida, Maine.

    Source.

  80. 80.

    Jay

    @Tony Jay:

    Sorry but, spare Canadian PPE is being shipped to the disadvantaged countries that need it due to economic circumstances, not First World Nations suffering from Idiocracy.

    Wine is for sale, but it’s pricier than Alberta Tar Sands,….

  81. 81.

    debbie

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    Maine appears to be up to other stuff

    A group of Maine residents apparently tried to forcibly quarantine their neighbors by cutting down a tree and blocking a roadway out of fear they might have the coronavirus.

    A man who lived on Cripple Creek Road in Vinalhaven on an island off Maine left his residence to check on disrupted cable service when he came across a downed tree in the road, according to a Facebook post Saturday from the Knox County Sheriff’s Office. He told police that when he got out of his car to inspect the tree, a group of people, some with guns, gathered around him and told him he needed to be quarantined.

  83. 83.

    Yutsano

    @Robert Sneddon: I still want to know why he uses a bacteriophage as his spokesvirus. We WANT those. They’re probably our best saviour from the bacterial apocalypse. I mean other than they’re kind of cute.

  84. 84.

    Tony Jay

    @Jay:

    Shakes fist. “If it wasn’t for us you’d all be speaking French! Or American!”

    You’re dead right about the issue facing this pissed-up carpark catfight of a country. Idiots at every level rubbing shit all over the walls and demanding we call it bunting.

    I’ll have a glass of tar-sands, please.

  87. 87.

    prostratedragon

    @AWJ:  Incomplete without a discussion of the purity of our bodily fluids.

     

    Remark: words ending in “-ism” or “-ist” are instant mind-dullers.

  88. 88.

    Yutsano

    @Tony Jay:

    Also send wine

    If he doesn’t send you wine we’ll give you some from Washington state. We have plenty. And ours is better.

  91. 91.

    Duane

    @Jay: Hobby Lobby screws their employees and they want their company property back. What could it be, a couple of shirts? Tell them their lousy crap is in God’s hands now. Unbelievable assholes.

  92. 92.

    Tony Jay

    @Yutsano:

    Offers made on the Interwebs are like legally binding contracts, and last time I was in your fair State I discovered the difference between “pisswater American beer” and the actual craft ales they sell in suburban Seattle sports-bars. If the wine is anywhere near as good I am so there.

    Eventually. Unless the wankers manage to screw this up even worse than they already have.

  93. 93.

    J R in WV

    @zeecube:

    Does make me wonder how the Author would apply “common sense constitutionalism” t/11o interpreting the Second Amendment.

    Everyone should be issued a sidearm at birth, taught to use it in kindergarten, issued a long gun in middle school, drafted into the Marines/Army/AF/USN after graduation to be taught to obey orders. Simple answer to a simple question.

    Common sense constitutionalism, right?!!?!!

    //s

  94. 94.

    Yutsano

    @Tony Jay: When things do open back up, please come visit us again! We’ll give you a proper Seattle meet-up. With green balloons and everything! Plus we’re really all a bunch of delightful jackals up this way. Even MikeJ is kind of okay.

  95. 95.

    JAFD

    Good morning, fellow jackals!
    Re: 5.Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)   March 31, 2020 at 4:13 pm

    “Related:  Doctor Who Met Putin Days Ago Tests Positive for COVID-19, Reports Say” 

    One thing about being secluded, I get out of sync with the world, sleep and wake odd hours, fall asleep at 4:30, get up at midnight, and read this as

    ‘Doctor Who’  Met Putin Days Ago Tests Positive for COVID-19, Reports Say

    and get discombobulated trying to ccomprehend this bit of ‘science fiction meets reality’

    I am too old for this kind of departure from consensus reality…

     

  96. 96.

    WaterGirl

    @JAFD: I first read that as “Doctor Who” in the light of day yesterday, so it’s not just you.  It’s that both words were capitalized, so of course we recognized Doctor Who.

  97. 97.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @WaterGirl: I first read that as “Doctor Who” in the light of day yesterday, so it’s not just you.

    Well of course you did!

    “Doctor Who Met Putin Days Ago, Tests Positive for COVID-19, Reports Say”

    Though ‘twould be a shame were the Good Doctor to come down with this crud.

    (In an undisclosed hunkerdown location, the author of Eats Shoots and Leaves is smiling knowingly….)

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