Respite, you want?
Respite we got:
I bellowed at the punch line.
This thread (and–stay safe–not our towns and byways) is open.
This post is in: Not Politics, Open Threads
Respite, you want?
Respite we got:
I bellowed at the punch line.
This thread (and–stay safe–not our towns and byways) is open.
Comments are closed.
Dorothy A. Winsor
I just posted this downstairs too. It made me laugh. From Saturday Night on Broadway, “The Zoom Where It Happens.”
Dorothy A. Winsor
Also this. Now I’m waiting for the lightening to strike me. (Apparently I’ve been in too many Zoom meetings)
trollhattan
Good one. :-)
Steeplejack
Report from the coronasphere:
The tactical gear (pants!) has been getting a workout lately, as I have been driving my friend B. to and from work at Trader Joe’s in Clarendon (Arlington, VA). She was off yesterday, but I dropped her a little before 1:00 today and then went by the substandard Safeway on the way home. Somewhat grudgingly, because, although I am due for a big shopping expedition, I didn’t feel like doing it today. But I needed cat food—priority #1 here at the Threadkill Arms—and once I was in the store I decided to get some other things. Ran up an $85 tab, which is pretty big for me, but now I’m set until sometime next week.
Feature my surprise at finding that the store was pretty well stocked. It’s an old, small store in a not-trendy neighborhood, also apparently plagued with indifferent management, and there are (were) always inexplicable gaps in what’s available. (Gaps more explicable now.) I went up the paper-products aisle to find something else and was gobsmacked to see not only toilet paper but Great Northern toilet paper. Gold, Jerry—pure gold! Not a huge supply, maybe 20 six-packs or so. I joined another guy (six feet apart) and we just marveled at it in silence for a minute or two. I picked up one pack just to be sociable, and, based on the discussion in the morning thread, I figure I’m good for the rest of the year. Score!
The produce and meat sections were pretty well stocked, and I didn’t see any glaring shortages anyplace else. Oh, yeah, no Schweppes tonic water, which affects me greatly, and no Fever Tree either, which is my backup. Couldn’t bring myself to buy Canada Dry. One has standards even in a crisis.
Went by my local pub on the way home and took curbside delivery of a bacon cheeseburger and fries. I’ve been trying to support my local places. Had that with a Vienna Lager and will now subside into the afternoon routine. Picking up B. at 9:00 tonight.
The weather is fantastic today: partly cloudy, 49°, with blustery winds about 25 mph. Totally wacky for the season but very energizing.
Finally, I found the cheapo mask that I got in Las Vegas and thought I had lost. It was still in the pocket of my jacket. I didn’t wear it on the trip home but will start wearing it now. And the word on the street is that a friend is sending me a custom-made cloth mask. Looking forward to that. Should be here tomorrow.
chris
“…the surgical solution was surprisingly unpopular…”
UncomfortableLOL! Ya think?
Tom Levenson
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Awesome.
Also, Judas!
Steeplejack
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Okay, that’s funny!
MoCA Ace
Thanks for the warning… you saved my keyboard!
chris
@Steeplejack:Serious tactical gear right here.
via reddit. Captioned: Walmart never disappoints.
zhena gogolia
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
I just sent that to my minister.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@chris: At least the person wasn’t wearing the flippers.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@zhena gogolia: Then lightning will have to spread itself around to strike us all!
Steeplejack
@chris:
Oh, God, a friend sent me a whole thread of pictures like that. One of the funniest was a woman wearing one of those big, clear packages that quilts and comforters come in.
catclub
@zhena gogolia: My understanding is that performance of that version of the Miserere – by Allegri –
was only permitted – on pain of excommunication(?) at the Sistine Chapel. For some period of time back in the good old days when the Catholic Church was just the Church.
chris
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Maybe.
eclare
@chris: Heh, that’s innovative!
chris
@Steeplejack: Yep, all on r/peopleofwalmart. And, I assume, everywhere else. At least they’re trying.
Gin & Tonic
@Steeplejack:
I am delighted to see that the plague years have not destroyed all of humanity.
CaseyL
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Those are great! I’ve seen quite a bit of hilarious getting-through-the-lockdown stuff on YouTube. Andrew Cottle, the British sportscaster whose color commentary of his dogs eating went viral, posted a second Dog Sports video:
Game of Bones
Roger Moore
@Steeplejack:
You need to try making homemade tonic water. It’s not that hard if you can get the ingredients.
Steeplejack
@Gin & Tonic:
Inorite. Stiff upper lip and all that, what?
patroclus
The other thread is dying, so I’ll re-post it:
Biden 2020: Vote Joe if You Want to Live
Trump 2020: Making American Graves Again
Biden 2020: He Can Read
Trump 2020: It’s Mourning in America
Dorothy A. Winsor
@CaseyL: The commentary is hilarious.
Steeplejack
@CaseyL:
They’re both hilarious. The eating one: “Focused, relentless. Tasting absolutely nothing.”
Here’s a link to Nick Heath’s #LifeCommentary videos. Equally hilarious. (Note: On my computer the fast-forward hangs at video 16, so you have to manually select the one(s) after that.)
raven
We just got our instantcart order from Aldi. The young lady was totally on top of it, chatted with me about substitutions while she shopped and got here in about 10 minutes. I hit a “review” site for it last night and it really had me nervous. Review after review screaming about the “shoppers” stealing their groceries and all kinds of nasty shit. Maybe being in a smaller town matters.
Ben Cisco
@patroclus: They’re all good but this:
That’s museum-quality right there.
Thanks for the laughs!
Steeplejack
@Steeplejack:
You have to manually fast-forward past “Giro de Tooting.”
Steeplejack
@Roger Moore:
I’m having enough trouble sourcing Cheez Whiz and Vienna sausages. I can’t be looking for tree bark!
Steeplejack
@Steeplejack:
“Dogging” not in the list, for some reason.
chris
@Steeplejack: just dissolve ‘some’ hydroxychloroquine in your gin. Gotta be close, right?
Steeplejack
@chris:
Excellent suggestion.
patroclus
@Ben Cisco: Twitter has so much more…
Biden 2020: He Won’t Grab Your Pussy
Trump 2020: If You’re Not White, Say Goodnight
Biden 2020: Blue Wave
Trump 2020: Flu Wave
Trump 2020: What do You Have (Left) to Lose?
scav
@patroclus: Biden 2020: Don’t let the Virus win.
Booger
That’s a noble effort on the Choir’s part.
evap
@Steeplejack: really enjoyed reading this post because I lived in Arlington (Ballston) for 2 years while working at NSF and I used to shop at that Trader Joe’s and even at the Safeway occasionally. I have very fond memories of Arlington.
Carry on!
Dorothy A. Winsor
It could be worse. I grew up on Vernor’s
opiejeanne
@raven: I just got notification that our order is being shopped, and it looks like he/she is finished.
All of our shoppers have been very nice. We’ve been using them for about three weeks now. I don’t know why the shopper would steal people’s stuff, unless it was toilet paper, and/or they were stupid.
Our first one got some of our stuff confused with the other order he was shopping, and drove back after about ten minutes to give it to us and get the stuff for his other customer that he mistakenly left with us.
Yes, we wanted the oranges, no we didn’t need any canned soup. It was our first time using the service and it all worked out.
catclub
That one will sting.
Ben Cisco
@patroclus: OMG ?
BellyCat
Definitely advise against making your own tonic. I did so a few years ago and once it runs out one can never be satisfied by an over-the-counter G&T. ?
senyordave
I think Grandpa Simpson would have taken any solution for young Homer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmX18C3PBq0
Dorothy A. Winsor
@catclub:
Assuming people register the spelling. Trump wouldn’t.
Brachiator
@raven:
I’ve never used Instantcart and may give it a try if it is available where I am. How do you pay for the groceries?
Sounds like a positive experience. I just glanced at a sad news story about people putting in a large tip in advance for the shopper (in one case $55) and then cancelling the tip after the delivery has been made.
Catherine D.
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Ptui, ptui, ptui! That stuff is nasty!
opiejeanne
@Dorothy A. Winsor: I never had Vernor’s until I was an adult. I liked the stuff but I always forgot not to inhale over the glass.
It seems kind of like they have dumbed it down now, compared to what it used to be like. Yes, you can get a good coughing jag going with the current stuff, but not as readily.
Also, why doesn’t root beer burn your nose like it did when I was a kid? Could it be that I’ve learned not to burp while drinking it?
opiejeanne
@Brachiator: For Instacart we use our debit account.
https://www.instacart.com/help/section/200761924
Steeplejack
@evap:
Thanks. To be clear, my substandard Safeway is the one on Wilson Boulevard just past George Mason Drive, across from Pupatella. (Excellent pizza, but it does not travel well; has a half-life of about 10 minutes. I wonder how they’re making out in the shutdown.)
raven
@Brachiator: It’s pretty seamless with both the website and the app. You put in a CC # and it gives you a running tally with fees and tip. We signed up for a month of “express” for $9.99 and that get’s you “free” delivery. There is a place for tips and you enter a % so it saves it. I did %15 and dropped another sawbuck on the young lady. The app allows you to communicate with them as they shop so, when something is out of stock, they give you alternatives and you can just say no as well. Our Instantcart does Kroger, Aldi, Publix and CVS. There also is a notice about whether or not the prices are the same (they aren’t but they aren’t horrible). I figure it’s worth it for me to spend some of the stimulus money to try to keep another people afloat .
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@opiejeanne: I don’t remember that experience with root beer, but maybe all the root beer I’ve had has been artificially-flavored crap.
Ever had ginger beer? I love it but it’s quite an intense experience.
raven
@Brachiator:
I just glanced at a sad news story about people putting in a large tip in advance for the shopper (in one case $55) and then cancelling the tip after the delivery has been made.
I don’t know what to do with that. Maybe someone just put the wrong amount in. I didn’t get the sense that our “shopper” chose whether or not to to it based on the tip but I don’t really know. The reviews of users and employees that I found were not good but my local peeps on FB and our neighborhood listserv are positive. YMMV
Ben Cisco
@Dorothy A. Winsor: We’ve got one here called Red Rock – it’s no joke!
Booger
@Steeplejack: Know it well! Bought the makings of a last-minute Thanksgiving dinner there and at the 7-11 nearby many decades ago. Loved that pizza joint as well.
Interesting that you’d have to specify WHICH substandard Safeway in Arlington. I assumed the one on Lee Highway in Cherrydale.
Gin & Tonic
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: There were once ginger Altoids. I never had them, but a guy at work did. He left the tin on a cabinet where people occasionally put candy or baked goods to share, with a sign saying “I Dare You.” I don’t care for ginger, so I didn’t try. Not sure if anyone else did.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@opiejeanne:
When I was a Camp Fire Girl, we dug up sassafras roots and boiled them to make sassafras tea, which tasted like root beer.
raven
@Dorothy A. Winsor: THE bubble gum song!
Hot Smoke and Sassafras!
Ceci n est pas mon nym
I was musing today about stuff that I’m apparently not going to see till things return to something like normal, and how being deprived is making me kind of think obsessively about those things. Steaks and hamburgers for instance. Our diners are closed, and so far when we’ve put it in a grocery order we’re told there’s none available.
Also wine. Not a thing I normally keep in the house, but since finding out how hard it is to get (illegal to deliver or ship in PA, and the beer/wine stores seem to be closed), I’ve started craving a glass. Just one glass.
And just one big chocolate chip cookie. My wife is an excellent but usually very healthy cook. She’s actually offered to make me cookies or brownies but I feel kind of silly taking her up on it just to satisfy my silly craving. And it might make it worse if I remember what it is to get a sugar rush.
I remind myself that in WW2 people survived for years without coffee, eggs, sugar or meat.
sdhays
@Steeplejack: I was at an H-Mart (big Korean grocery store chain for those not familiar) yesterday, and while it wasn’t empty, it was not at all busy, even though pre-COVID-19 it was pretty much always uncomfortably busy. The produce was rich and plentiful while the Wegmans was only slightly above the disaster zone it was last week. Safeway has been better. I can’t find yeast for the life of me, though.
I have noticed that only H-Mart seemed to be providing masks to its employees. All of the employees at H-Mart had surgical-style masks and gloves. I’ve been to Wegmans and Safeway over the last few weeks and the standards are still pretty sloppy and clearly driven by personal choice rather than corporate directive.
Sister Golden Bear
@Steeplejack:
I’ve also found my smaller neighborhood markets — as well as the Hispanic and Asian markets — to be not too crowded and reasonably well stocked. Yesterday, I walked into m
I do go to the fancy old-money/techno riche neighborhood grocery store occasionally, since they carry some items I can’t find elsewhere.
schrodingers_cat
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: There is a place in the Capitol Market that makes their own crab cakes and root beer. Both are excellent!
raven
This shit will kill you
Blenheim Ginger Ale
Ceci n est pas mon nym
Another weird little sign of the times: The cash I had on hand when we came home for good, I still have on hand. I think I made an ATM withdrawal on Mar 9 or 10, and all of it is still in my wallet, along with every penny of change I had in my pockets that day.
I’ve also got a bunch of commuter train tickets that are going to expire before I’m ever on a train again.
Joy in FL
I just joined Instacart over the weekend. I’ve had two perfect orders from Sprouts from 2 different shoppers. Some things were out of stock, but I got almost everything on my orders.
I don’t have to leave my house for a month if I don’t want to and that makes me happy.
I did grocery shopping for Shipt a few years ago when I retired. So glad I don’t have that job in this environment.
eclare
@raven: Is that where the peach butt is?
dmsilev
@Ceci n est pas mon nym:
Suggestion: take her up on the offer (or bake them yourself; both are easy even if you’re a baking klutz). Satisfying a silly craving now and again will help you stay sane through this.
Tinare
raven
@eclare: No the Peach Butt is on 85 not far from Cowpens. Blenheim is near South of the Border on 95.
raven
@Tinare: Great info! I don’t know if it’s best to leave the %15 in and then hit them with lagniappe when they come or just bump it up?
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Ceci n est pas mon nym:
The free beer and wine cart will come through my building again today from 4-5. Not that I’m smug about it or anything. :-)
M31
@catclub: hahaha yes, no one was allowed to see or have the music, but of course when Mozart was a little kid he went to hear it and then promptly went home and wrote the whole thing down
Brachiator
@opiejeanne:
@raven:
Thanks for the tips on setting up and using the service. I just may give it a go!
ETA: I tend to NOT use my debit card for much. It is easier to challenge and get a correction when using a credit card.
I just pay balances quickly.
Tinare
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: Hey, I’m in PA, you can have wine from an online wine club delivered in PA. UPS needs to see you when they deliver, they aren’t making anyone sign, but they are just making sure you’re not underage.
M31
@BellyCat: second the recommendation to make your own tonic water — only one ingredient (cinchona bark “Jesuit’s bark”) is hard to source, the rest is nice fragrant whatever you like (lime peel, allspice, etc).
I believe it is slightly poisonous but so bitter you would never drink enough to cause harm. Plenty of recipes online
Steeplejack (phone)
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Condolences. On the other hand, don’t Vernor’s and other Northeastern brands have exotic drinks like “ginger soda” and 20 flavors of seltzer? That whole genre is a mystery to me. As a Saltine-American I was exposed more to Nehi orange drink and RC Cola at the outer boundaries. Fresca!
eclare
@raven: Thanks! For some reason I was thinking it was on 85.
Tinare
@raven: cash is nice because you get it right away, but they do pay out to shoppers weekly so it’s not a long wait.
raven
@Tinare: I was just thinking about my buddy who runs a restaurant and told me to tip in cash so the server really gets it.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Steeplejack (phone):
I grew up in Detroit which is where Vernor’s was made. Also Faygo. I went to grad school with the daughter of the two brothers running Faygo.
Ben Cisco
@raven: “Is it strange that I want it even more now?”
JPL
@patroclus:
Love it but I’m not sure his voters would get it.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Booger:
I don’t like the Safeway in Cherrydale, and it’s not really on my hunter-gatherer circuit, so I haven’t been there in a long time. I contrast the Wilson Boulevard substandard Safeway with the “cool,” modern Safeway closer to me at Seven Corners.
Around here Giant has the same dichotomy between really great stores and ones that are two steps above “food desert” quality. They just opened a brand new one at Seven Corners that is getting into the Wegmans zone. Nice!
debbie
@Steeplejack:
I’ll take Canada Dry over Schweppes any day!
Steeplejack (phone)
@debbie:
Infidel!
debbie
@Gin & Tonic:
I loved them. They had the same kind of bite real gingeroot has.
JPL
@raven: fyi Sunday sounds like a fun day. I do hope they are wrong because I really don’t want anymore tree damage.
debbie
@Steeplejack (phone):
I’m even worse: Diet!
JPL
@debbie: What about Pepsi or Coke.. kidding
Steeplejack (phone)
@sdhays:
Yeah, I’m noticing a general uptick in mask use among both customers and staff, but the use at Safeway is still about 50% among the workers.
My friend says Trader Joe’s is going to supply them with masks, but it hasn’t happened yet. I don’t know if they’re allowed to wear their own. I’ll ask her tonight.
debbie
@JPL:
I’ll go thirsty before I take a sip of Pepsi!
Steeplejack (phone)
@debbie:
Now you’re dead to me!
JPL
@Steeplejack (phone): My local one had pretty good distancing protocols though. Gloves were voluntary, but I will say most of the workers are new.
debbie
@Steeplejack (phone):
Sigh. One must always stand on principle, no matter the pain of the consequence.
raven
@JPL: You got a Safeway up there?
Steeplejack (phone)
@JPL:
Good point. The substandard Safeway is doing everything else pretty well. They have markers on the floor showing proper distancing, they’ve got signs at the door, and they are limiting the number of customers inside. (I have never seen a line.) And almost always there’s a yoot cart wrangler swabbing down the handles with sanitary wipes.
Maybe individual employees are just choosing not to wear a mask.
A Ghost to Most
I have little doubt several of you have been there.
A Ghost to Most
@raven: Is that like Vernor’s? That stuff was strange.
jeffreyw
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
We used to by it at the corner grocery – little bundles of split roots. It went away over a cancer scare.
Ladyraxterinok
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Did that in summer of 58 while camp counselor at Camp Fire camp for CFG of Grand Rapids.
How far did you go? I got Torchbearer in Indian Lore
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Ladyraxterinok: I don’t remember to be truthful.
prostratedragon
@Ben Cisco:
I concur. Unless mighty inspiration strikes, that’s going to be my campaign motivator this year.
prostratedragon
@opiejeanne: If you want that old sting, try Gosling’s ginger beer. I normally drink Vernor’s because it’s cheaper, but could see a preference for the older stuff. (Lousy mixers, though; probably don’t play well with others.)
NotMax
@Dorothy A. Winsor
Never been much of a soda drinker, however when the soda whim strikes there are a few I kind of miss having access to from the years of ascending in height on the northern half of the east coast: birch beer (the clear (“white”) type, not the red type, thank you very much), Frank’s wishniak and Dr. Brown’s celery tonic.
ixnay
@Gin & Tonic: Ginger altoids were the best. Mr. ixnay and I mourn their loss.
Kayla Rudbek
@dmsilev: Mr. Rudbek has been baking banana bread since the start of lockdown. So far we’ve had chocolate, nut, and vegan with blackberry versions. Now we need to come up with a non-banana bread recipe to use two Granny Smith apples…
OzarkHillbilly
Thank you. That is all I can say. Well, that and “much”.
WaterGirl
@raven: I LOVE the pink cap Blenheim ginger ale!
They stopped selling it around here, so if I want it now I have to order from Blenheim directly.
OzarkHillbilly
@Kayla Rudbek: Google “Apple Praline Bread” Even if you don’t settle on the recipe i use, you should find something acceptable.
Kayla Rudbek
@OzarkHillbilly: hmm, I guess we Rudbeks get to find out how well the non-dairy “sour cream” works for baking. It should be interesting (most likely similar fat content but not similar protein content, and probably the pH is a bit different as well). Food science is fun and makes me wish that I was a better organic chemist.
Kayla Rudbek
@OzarkHillbilly: and we also have frozen cranberries, so maybe it’s time for more apple cranberry crisp/casserole/bake.