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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / The Youtube Videos Made It Seem So Easy

The Youtube Videos Made It Seem So Easy

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Because I love my pets so much, it was driving me crazy that I could not get Steve a lion cut in April like I normally do, so I tried on my own a couple weeks ago and it was a complete failure. Undeterred, I ordered special clippers and a cheap grooming table from the great online Satan, and today was spa day:

The Youtube Videos Made It Seem So Easy

Because this is a full service blog, I even paused for videos:

He is not totally perfect like the groomers do, but it will do until it is safe to get him in for an appointment. He has (well, had) a lot of hair:

The Youtube Videos Made It Seem So Easy 1

He was actually pretty well behaved, although he did not like the clippers near his nether regions, but really, who does (NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW MIND YOU). Bathtime was a different story:

The Youtube Videos Made It Seem So Easy 2

I think that picture speaks for itself. I am going to go shower and then soak my arms in bacitracin.

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  2. 2.

    Nicole

    This is why I’m glad I own a shorthair dog.  Cutting my son’s hair was traumatizing enough for me.

    (I think you did a good job on Steve, btw.  Better than I did on my son.)

  11. 11.

    catclub

    Those videos that made it look easy, ….were on the Darwin Awards website.

  15. 15.

    rikyrah

    Cole

    Cole

    Cole……

     

    You better not go to sleep tonight…

     

    If you know what’s good for you…

    Mannnnnnnnnnnnnn……

    Steve is plotting….

  17. 17.

    DCrefugee

    That last pic of Steve looks like Hobbes as he’s about to rumble with Calvin

  18. 18.

    hueyplong

    JFC, Cole skinned his poor cat.

    If Steve has any self respect at all, he is honor-bound to kill Cole. Tonight.

    No jury would convict.

  20. 20.

    Laura Too

    You made a shitty day bearable. Thanks John. And I too loved the part about your own haircut. My husband tried to do his own as well. Lets just say it took me about 10 minutes to quit laughing…oh hell, who am I kidding, I’m still laughing.

  22. 22.

    phein60

    We’ve got a cock-a-poo (in Australia, they call them spoodles, which I think is a little more dignified) whom we need to shave (don’t even ask why; if you have one of these dogs, you know why).  We got a cheap Wahl pet clipper which had no success cutting her thick curly hair.   Does anyone out there have a recommendation for a good pet hair trimmer that doesn’t cost a fortune?

  24. 24.

    Patricia Kayden

    Steve is gorgeous.  It’s so soothing to read about his shave and bath. A good note to end the day on.

  26. 26.

    CaseyL

    My god, that plaintive little meow.   And the way he’s licking himself on the freshly shaved areas – “Where’d all my hair go?  Why don’t I taste like myself anymore??”

  32. 32.

    Elizabelle

    He’ll forgive you and snuggle in tonight.  Cuz he might be cold.

    Gonna be a chilly weekend.  You don’t even want to think about putting him in a sweater.

  33. 33.

    Tazj

    Poor Steve! I don’t know what he will do later, but it looks like he was pretty good during the whole procedure except for a few minor complaints.

  34. 34.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Pro tip: Clip the claws first, THEN the fur.

    Cole, you’re the only person I know of who approaches my wife’s level of pet pampering.

  35. 35.

    Zelma

    I have a Lhasa apso who has not been groomed since early February.  He does not like to be brushed.  He looks very fluffy but I’m not sure he can see where he’s going.  I’m not sure when I can get him to a groomer.  We’re closed till June 5.  What kind of clippers did you get, John?  Inquiring minds want to know.  Please.

  36. 36.

    RedDirtGirl

    Thank you for that. Felt like I was there, without risking my skin’s integrity

  39. 39.

    LarryB

    “The YouTube videos made it look so easy” is the new “Hold my beer”

  40. 40.

    Barb 2

    Such a good kitty. And then the last photo!

    we had poodles years ago. I can see why short hair dogs are popular. Plus short hair cats are nice.

  42. 42.

    MomSense

    Pobrecito.  He looks so forlorn in the bath.

    I don’t know what is up with my pup, but she barely said hello to me when I got home after 12 hours at work.  She’s probably giving me the silent treatment because I wasn’t with her all day.

  44. 44.

    Grover Gardner

    Jeebus, that was brave.  We have a tiny, one-year-old tabby who, in these cramped times, we finally decided to let out into the back yard because he was driving us crazy.  Man, I almost lost an arm trying to get a teeny little collar on him.

  48. 48.

    Anne Laurie

    Did Steve bark like a seal, Cole? The one ‘Maine-type’ cat I’ve ever had to bathe (there had been an incident involving a half-full bottle of barbecue sauce that the other roommate should *never* have left open on the kitchen counter) made seal noises I’ve never heard from any other cat. Possibly because the human holding him while I handled the soap & water was even bigger (& 20 years younger) than J.G. Cole…
    If you haven’t already fastidiously disposed of the fleece, I vote you mold it into a vaguely Steve-shaped figure, and see how much you can terrify Thurston with it.

  49. 49.

    MomSense

    @Anne Laurie:

    I watched a video the other night of a spinner who incorporated cat fur with her wool and made yarn.  It was wild.  She knits sweaters and shit from her cats.

  51. 51.

    Barbara

    @Robert Sneddon: I was visiting a relative in West Seattle and walking around the neighborhood when I saw a storefront of some kind of artsy shop with a book prominently displayed: Crafting With Cat Hair. I got a picture.

  52. 52.

    Anne Laurie

    @MomSense: I watched a video the other night of a spinner who incorporated cat fur with her wool and made yarn.

    I was told, many years ago, that cat hair is too brittle to be much use as yarn unless it’s heavily ‘assisted’ with a sturdier wool.  (Dog hair, yes; cat hair, no.)  But it does felt beautifully!

    (Of course, the idea of Cole with a felting needle is… terrifying, frankly.  But Maine Coon hair/fur can probably be molded like fibrous putty, if one has the hand strength.)

  53. 53.

    lahke

    So why did Steve need a bath once you’d shaved off his hair?  Were there fleas?

  55. 55.

    Anne Laurie

    @lahke: So why did Steve need a bath once you’d shaved off his hair?

    I’m guessing Steve didn’t need one, but Cole did!

    (Poor cat’s feet probably stank, from sheer terror.  And Cole’s got that Germanic fastidiousness.)

  56. 56.

    MomSense

    @Anne Laurie:

    The only good thing about needle felting is being able to stab something a thousand times.  These times are made for needle arts.

  57. 57.

    Joy in FL

    That last photo!
    I feel so bad for laughing. But I really appreciated the laugh.

  58. 58.

    SWMBO

    @phein60:

    @Zelma: Whatever clipper you get make sure it doesn’t get too hot. Put it on the inside of your wrist.  If it’s too hot for your skin, it’s too hot for theirs. They used to make a product called Kool Klip that you sprayed on the blades to cool them down. We also had quick detach blades that could be swapped out and keep going.  If you don’t want to spring for a table, you can use a leash on a chair or table or counter(don’t really recommend a counter but if that’s what you’ve got). Start at the neck and go toward the tail. Keep the blade flat against the skin. Do the bum last if they are cooperating. Hold the tail straight up and go down each side of the butthole. There are little ligaments that you can mess up without trying if you go up instead of down.
    On the face, hold the eyebrows down and don’t use the clippers on those muscles. Use scissors to see their eyes. Leave eyebrows a decent length. It gives character and expression to their face. If you have to use clippers on the face, go from the ear to the nose. Don’t ever go towards the eyes.

  59. 59.

    ziggy

    John could gather up that fur and send it to Tamara, and she could make little duck hats or something.

  68. 68.

    dww44

    Thank you, John, for this. I needed the Steve pictures and your commentary for the lighthearted respite from my sheer sadness and anger engendered by Trump, Barr, and all his minions today, made worse by a call from my Fox watching brother wanting me to agree with him that the FBI did indeed lie in the Flynn matter and that the latter didn’t sell out his country to the Russians, that this was a good thing that Barr did today. Sad because I can’t make him see the obvious. Angry because Barr is so corrupt and Trump doesn’t really care about the thousands of Americans who have died.

  71. 71.

    Anathema Device

    You’re braver than me, but fortunately my two lovelies are short-haired cats. Neither would tolerate a buzzing thing anywhere near them. I haven’t had to bathe them either. The older one, a beautifully behaved and elegant black cat, would just be miserable and resigned, but the dark tortie we lovingly refer to as “the buzzsaw” would cover me from one end to the other with painful, probably close to fatal wounds. She does her best to kill me when I pet her if she’s in the wrong mood, bless her furry little psycho brain.

    Love them both, but I know their limits. And mine.

  72. 72.

    singing truth to power

    Save Steve’s fur for a cap (or six)!    https://www.designboom.com/design/ryo-yamazaki-nukege-hats-cat-hair-07-24-2019/

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