Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

I really should read my own blog.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Come on, man.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

A dilettante blog from the great progressive state of West Virginia.

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

In my day, never was longer.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night ‘Laugh to Keep From Crying’ Open Thread: Mission Accomplished!

Late Night ‘Laugh to Keep From Crying’ Open Thread: Mission Accomplished!

by | 57 Comments

This post is in: , , ,


Reader Interactions

57Comments

  1. 1.

    Jerzy Russian

    Christ, what an asshole!

    If we are leading the world in testing, does this mean the disease is not a hoax?

  2. 2.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    One of my local news stations aired a canned segment (from national NBC or AP?) about that press conference. It correctly noted that his own testing czar admitted that we weren’t testing enough, but there was no mention of the “ask China” comment or him running away.

    And no my news station isn’t owned by Sinclair. It’s locally owned

  3. 3.

    NotMax

    Will they take a cue from a previous R administration and bring out of storage the WIN buttons*?

    *This time for Whip Infection Now.

    //

  4. 4.

    Brachiator

    This banner seems… like a direct invitation to Photoshoppers everywhere

    The Revenge of Sharpie Pen…

  6. 6.

    Mary G

    Someone said a rock rolled down the hill and hit a bathroom we operate and suggested we might not be able to open it. I thought the latter was an overreaction until I saw the "rock" pic.twitter.com/0Vi7hqM35F— Coyoteblog (@Coyoteblog) May 11, 2020

    Moral of the story I guess is to never leave your scissors lying around on the ground— Coyoteblog (@Coyoteblog) May 11, 2020

  7. 7.

    NotMax

    Let’s look an assortment of real statistics. Tests per capita, per 1 million population:

    U.S. – 30,152
    Spain – 59,394
    Iceland – 150,147
    UAE – 151,662
    Luxembourg – 91,863
    Cyprus – 89,437
    Malta – 90,478
    Faroe Islands – 164,109
    Gibraltar – 129,136
    Bermuda – 71,079
    Lithuania – 68,870
    .

  8. 8.

    Another Scott

    TheAtlantic – 13 questions for Barr’s DOJ about the Flynn case:

    U.S. District Judge Emmet G. Sullivan probably has little choice but to accede to the Justice Department’s outrageous motion that he dismiss the case against Lieutenant General Michael Flynn—notwithstanding Flynn’s guilty plea to false-statements charges more than two years ago. Existing law provides him little discretion in deciding whether to let the case go. That said, he does not have to dismiss the case without comment.

    […]

    Good questions.

    Sullivan should definitely slow-walk accepting (if he must) this abuse of his court and the Constitution.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  9. 9.

    HumboldtBlue

    Why are the American flags in the background folded to look like klan hoods?

  10. 10.

    Chris T.

    Someone should respond with: Oh, so the crime was that Obama was good at Presidenting, when you’re bad at it?

  11. 11.

    Uncle Jeffy

    @NotMax: Well, shit! I can handle getting aced out by Luxembourg, but Malta? Cyprus? The friggin’ Faroe Islands?

  12. 12.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @NotMax:

    But we’re a bigger country! MAGA! Trump cannot fail he can only be failed! 12,500 people died under Obama’s watch in 2009! Don’t you care about those lives!? Obama saved that traitor Bowe Bergdahl!

    //These are real arguments I’ve encountered with delusional Trump supporters. Including the fucking Bowe Bergdahl one. Like who the fuck remembers or cares about Bergdahl in 2020 during a pandemic?

  13. 13.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Another Scott:

    U.S. District Judge Emmet G. Sullivan probably has little choice but to accede to the Justice Department’s outrageous motion that he dismiss the case against Lieutenant General Michael Flynn—notwithstanding Flynn’s guilty plea to false-statements charges more than two years ago. Existing law provides him little discretion in deciding whether to let the case go. That said, he does not have to dismiss the case without comment.

    This is absolute bullshit. The DOJ shouldn’t just be able to do this and the judge should be able to deny this dismissal

  14. 14.

    oatler.

    “Joe Biden is making a deadly mistake.

    I’m Donald Trump and I approve this message.”

    -from the land of Sinclair

  15. 15.

    lumpkin

    @Another Scott:

    Sullivan should definitely slow-walk accepting (if he must) this abuse of his court and the Constitution.

    I talked about this with someone I know who is a former US Attorney. He told me that after this fiasco every defense attorney who has a client that is charged or has been convicted of lying to the DOJ or FBI is looking at using Barr’s actions here to appeal the conviction or to get their case dismissed. The DOJ cannot apply different standards to different cases and they have just invalidated the basis for a LOT of prosecutions for lying/obstruction.

    This was a really corrupt, destructive act, far more so than it appears on the surface. Obama was not exaggerating the seriousness of what has happened here. Barr has undermined one of the most effective tools the government has to insure that people do not obstruct investigations.

  16. 16.

    Mai naem mobile

    The American flag on that banner should be upside down. We are in extreme distress/danger.

    In other news i just saw the first Trumpov ad on the local news. I don’t watch local news a lot so don’t know if it’s been running a while. Anyhoo it’s an attack ad ripping Biden for being a China supporter, sending American jobs to China and giving China favored nation status along with a clip of Biden with Xi. Shouldn’t be hard to reply to this ko d of stuff as long as Biden has the $$$ to do it. Jist show Made In China Trumpov clothing.

  19. 19.

    cain

    @NotMax:

    I have never heard of Faroe Islands – just looked it up – I have a new place to visit – and I’ll dress up like the Witcher and run around there for awhile.

  20. 20.

    West of the Rockies

    I think it will take the deaths of 3 or 4 high-profile Republicans to begin to quiet the militia LIBERATE! morons.  A cabinet-level person, a senator, a Fox personality of some serious note, for instance.

    Can I start a wish list?  McConnell, Devos, Hannity, and let’s throw in Columnist and Human Unsalted Saltine Hugh Hewitt.

  21. 21.

    cain

    @lumpkin:

    Well, you know that’s pretty much how it is going to go for a lot of things. Destroying the rule of law. The only thing might give them pause if a shit ton of black people got out of jail or “those people”.

    In the end, I don’t know where we are going to be heading when this is all over. But this administration and its people have fucked us over.

  23. 23.

    lumpkin

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):

    Can the genie be put back in the bottle so to speak with a new administration

    Not really. The basic idea is that the standard for prosecution should not change from one administration to the next.

    It’s hard to say how much impact this will have. It doesn’t have the precedent setting impact of a court decision but it’s hard to square other prosecutions for far less egregious behavior than Flynn’s with this move by the DOJ. If you will recall, Martha Stewart was convicted and imprisoned for lying to the FBI about her stock trades. Even though the lie was not material to the investigation she was convicted. Flynn’s behavior was far worse and its potential impact was vastly more harmful than Stewart’s. By the newly current standard Stewart would never have been prosecuted. There are many similar situations out there. And going forward it’s going to be easier to lie to investigators and get away with it.

  25. 25.

    West of the Rockies

    So Ted Cruz and Rand Paul are now sporting beards… Maybe Collins should give it a go; it might give her the illusion of having gravitas.

    And best of luck on your boards, Goku!  Please remind me what you’re pursuing.

  26. 26.

    scav

    I’m somehow reading the banner as “AMERICA LEADS THE WORLD IN TEXTING” which is certainly all the Dumpster-in-Chief seems to accomplish.

    ETA.  The typo would be par for the course for this lot.

  29. 29.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @lumpkin:

    Not really. The basic idea is that the standard for prosecution should not change from one administration to the next.

    While it should not change from admin to admin, I still don’t see why this can’t simply be reversed and codified in law with a new admin. Trump’s admin is obviously corrupt, was illegitimately elected, and therefore decisions like these by his cronies shouldn’t count going forward

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    Thanks Bill! ?

  30. 30.

    Aleta

    Now tell us how many Americans waited weeks for a test because Kushner & Friends saw a chance to profit off the suffering.

  31. 31.

    Mary G

    Welp, since the MAGATs have been running all over Orange County protesting for a couple of weeks now, today we hit the highest numbers of people in both hospital and ICU since the shit started. Also, testing has fallen off a cliff, from a high of 2,721 a day last week to 399 today. It’s so discouraging.

  32. 32.

    JoyceH

    @Another Scott: I’m not sure the judge has to accept it. Saw some lawyer talk on Twitter that the guy who was the only signature on the filing was the interim US Attorney, wasn’t cleared (or whatever they call it) to file in that court, and the bar number under his signature was his predecessor’s number. So the judge could probably call it an invalid filing, and at least force Barr to get someone to sign the thing who was an authorized signer.

  34. 34.

    Anne Laurie

    @cain: I have never heard of Faroe Islands – just looked it up – I have a new place to visit – and I’ll dress up like the Witcher and run around there for awhile.

    The Faroes are an ‘autonomous territory’ of Denmark… which puts them, per my native-Faroese friend, approximately in the same relationship as Puerto Rico has to the United States.

    I understand it’s a lovely place, but the population is extremely white, even by Scandinavian standards.  Which may be why, friend’s American-expat husband complains, the food staples are mutton and herring.  On the other hand, after a decade of raising kids there, he still hadn’t needed to learn more than the simplest sentences in Faroese, because everybody was willing to speak English with him…

  37. 37.

    SWMBO

    I have a WTF question.  Didn’t Jarvanka and kids and Secret Service go to Daddy’s NJ golf resort for the start of Passover?  And since Ivanka’s assistant has tested positive for C19, and over 11 Secret Service agents are testing positive for C19, have they done adequate testing, tracing and quarantining?

    Has anyone decided who is the disease vector in this place?

  38. 38.

    Amir Khalid

    @West of the Rockies:

    I think it will take the deaths of 3 or 4 high-profile Republicans to begin to quiet the militia LIBERATE! morons. A cabinet-level person, a senator, a Fox personality of some serious note, for instance

    You really don’t want to go there. Incitements to violence are not well-received here.

  39. 39.

    Betty Cracker

    @West of the Rockies: Agree with Amir on this. It’s a fine line, and I have no standing to be judgey because I’ve been hoping these vile shit-stains will spontaneously combust for three-plus years now. But given the sheer volume of unhinged people out there, it’s probably not a good idea to suggest death as a solution and name names. We know you’re being snarky about disease transmission, but it could be interpreted as incitement to violence.

  40. 40.

    Sloane Ranger

    @Amir Khalid: To be fair to West of the Rockies, I think they meant 3 or 4 prominent Republicans dying from the coronavirus, not from an act of violence.

    More generally, I haven’t been following the Flynn case closely, but hasn’t he already pled guilty? If he has, surely the matter’s out of the Prosecutor’s hands and into those of the Judge?

  42. 42.

    Amir Khalid

    @Sloane Ranger:

    That’ a distinction, but does it make a difference? It’s still wishing aloud that someone you dislike suffer an untimely death.

  43. 43.

    Anne Laurie

    @West of the Rockies: I think it will take the deaths of 3 or 4 high-profile Republicans to begin to quiet the militia LIBERATE! morons. A cabinet-level person, a senator, a Fox personality of some serious note, for instance.

    Can I start a wish list? McConnell, Devos, Hannity, and let’s throw in Columnist and Human Unsalted Saltine Hugh Hewitt.

    If you’re thinking of a parallel to Rock Hudson (or Roy Cohn) dying of AIDS… you’re probably right.  But it also demonstrates how far the GOP has sunk, celebrity-wise, in just 30 years!

    (Of course, I also remember the tshirts at the college mall:  Use a condom, no matter how MAGIC you think your JOHNSON is!  Glad to remember that Mr. Johnson is still among the living… )

  45. 45.

    tokyokie

    @Amir Khalid: When I read Sloane Ranger’s post, I took it to mean that only the deaths of a few famous right-wingers from Covid-19 would convince large numbers of the militia crowd that the disease isn’t a hoax. But then he had to go and list requests.

  46. 46.

    Betty Cracker

    @Amir Khalid: Here we part company; I wish untimely death on people all the time. I hope Trump strokes out on the can while rage-tweeting this morning. There! I said it!

  47. 47.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    @Anne Laurie:

    On the other hand, after a decade of raising kids there, he still hadn’t needed to learn more than the simplest sentences in Faroese

    Probably just as well. Danish (as other Scandiwegians will tell you) is not a language so much as a throat disease, and I can’t imagine the Faroese variant being any better.

  50. 50.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Uncle Jeffy: The friggin’ Faroe Islands?

    Please use the official full name of the territory: The Sam-The-Sham-And-The-Faroes… ;^p

  51. 51.

    Gvg

    @Amir Khalid: that wasn’t an incitement to violence. It’s an observation. The idiots are spreading a disease that is going to kill people. The republicans are not protecting themselves.

    However I think he is wrong because I think the liberate idiots are totally self absorbed and not really invested in Republican law makers. The senators may think they control the loons, but IMO they don’t anymore, so if some Senators get sick and die, the liberate selfish morons won’t shut up.

  52. 52.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Sm*t Cl*de: Danish (as other Scandiwegians will tell you) is not a language so much as a throat disease…

    Very close friend, born in the Netherlands, who married a Swede, then a Dane, & lived out his last two decades (RIP) in Denmark, used to relate to me some of the intra-Scandi sniping:

    Dane to Swede (in mocking sing-song): Why must you Swedes always sing-song everything?

    Swede to Dane: Why do you Danes talk like your mouths are full of potatoes?

    And (just FTR) everyone dumps on the Norgies…

  53. 53.

    bemused

    @rikyrah:

    Happily the voters of those countries had those amazing women run for office and win as opposed to South Dakota voters choosing the horrendous Kristi Noem for governor.

  54. 54.

    randy khan

    It’s nice to see a three-day decline in deaths, but we had one of those last week, too, and then they went back up.  Also, it’s pretty clear that yesterday’s total was out of line with the number of new cases reported two weeks ago, so it’s likely it’s a reporting artifact.

  55. 55.

    Tenar Arha

     

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Congrats & good luck! And re your comment…

    James E Powell:

    I’ve found that unless you follow the news, watch the late night monologues, or have read a full transcript of one of his “interviews” (or even the rallies) people have no idea how unhinged verging on incompetent he was and has become.

    “The President said” reporting  standard not only cleans him up, it makes it sound like he’s coherent. Example: Seth Myers on this past Monday’s Closer Look segment quoted verbatim his response to the 3 Fox dolts on a couch at home when they asked him what he wanted to say to Mothers on Mother’s Day. Like the hugest softball of softball questions & he never mentioned mothers at all in his response really & started talking about the military. And worst of all it’s still hard for me to read that verbal brain blurt scrolling up the screen in a frame that looks like a Mother’s Day card & believe it’s real, and I’ve done the research that tells me that’s exactlywhat he sounds like!

     

    ETA typos

  57. 57.

    ziggy

    Very late to the thread, but thanks for a good laugh–those photoshops are hysterical!

Comments are closed.