Thanks to everyone who donated, and, as promised, the first of pet pics. Our first contestant in “THE WHORING OUT OF COLE’S ANIMALS” is, of course, the camera hog, Thurston:
Lily is too comfortable under my desk to disturb, Steve has fucked off somewhere in the yard to stalk things, and Rosie hates me, so the easiest picture to get was Thurston. And, in fairness, summer is Thurston’s time to shine since he is such a shitty lapdog, but he is omnipresent when there is any activity outdoors.
And I am not saying that to be mean. He is just a horrible lapdog. He fidgets, he squirms, he’s denser than a medicine ball and puts off enough heat to service a small army base, any time he hears something he launches himself from my lap invariably kicking me in the nuts and scaring everyone in the god damned room, and on and on. But the summer is his time, because any time you are in the yard HE IS THERE. DOING THINGS. WATCHING YOU DO THINGS. GETTING IN THE WAY OF YOU DOING THINGS. SNIFFING THINGS. ROLLING IN THINGS. BARKING AT THINGS. DIGGING INTO WHAT YOU JUST PLANTED. The world is his fucking oyster from April to October.
Some bonus pics of the yard:
This summer is going to be an easy one- we are putting in the path, putting another coat of paint on the shed, and another coat on the deck. Other than that, not much to do but relax under the pergola. As you can see from the middle picture, Thurston was even kind enough to map out a desire path for the walkway.
raven
Remember when my friends moved to Morgantown and you knew the house they bought? She got promoted and tenured today!
Another Scott
That willow is very, very bushy and happy. It seems to be moving closer to the deck, too. I’d be worried if I were you – keep an eye open just in case.
Cheers,
Scott.
seefleur
John, you need a fire pit with a couple of Adirondack style chairs. Seriously. Your backyard is begging for a fire pit. And when the willow gets too big, you can start feeding parts of it to the pit… Just a suggestion from Maine. (We burn everything in “fire pits” – also called burn piles when they are more than 4 feet in diameter. Don’t ask what diameter a bonfire is – for those we use small tractors to shift the burnables.)
Your yard is lovely.
Omnes Omnibus
I think that willow might be too close to the house.
schrodingers_cat
@seefleur: Do you have any DIY fire pit project ideas? We just got a hammock from our neighbors have to set it up.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Omnes Omnibus: dammit! too late
I never get tired of that one
Jerzy Russian
Is it possible to have some kind of shield to protect the family jewels when Thurston is on your lap? It seems like it could be a good investment.
raven
@Jerzy Russian: Protecting the family mules.
Anne Laurie
@seefleur: All due respect, but… I’m not entirely sure I’d trust the Blogmaster with a Maine-style ‘fire pit’, given his propensity towards (amusing after the fact, for the rest of us) accidents.
But Cole, you *could” spend your spare time over the next few months happily researching the infinite variety of sturdy steel ‘fire pit’ (grill) contraptions available online. One of those would be lovely, in that back yard! And much safer than a ground-level open fire for Thurston & Steve, too…
NotMax
@seefleur
I find the lack of lanai furniture disturbing.
;)
@Omnes Omnibus
Obvious solution is to move the house.
:)
raven
@Anne Laurie: I sent you an article, hope you got it.
Yutsano
@Another Scott: @Omnes Omnibus:
I elect for nerdiness.
Jerzy Russian
@raven: That is objectively funny!
Kay
Rosie is my favorite. So crabby.
Anne Laurie
Cole: Thurston is not a lap dog, he is a foot dog. He is obviously designed to be a footstool — or at least a chill-season bed warmer, complete with built-in sleep-safe heater. Your mistake was not training him early enough to cuddle up next to your toes, instead of forcing himself into a more intimate proximity that doesn’t please either of you!
Anne Laurie
@raven: If it was the great pics from your lady wife’s garden, yes, I’m looking forward to using them this Sunday!
NotMax
@Kay
Rosie is part honey badger.
:)
raven
@Anne Laurie: No, I just sent this.
Steeplejack
@raven:
Link didn’t work for me. Fixed here.
seefleur
@schrodingers_cat:
We took a bunch of granite blocks that my husband had collected over the years, cleared an area in the appropriate size and made a bed of sand. Then we added gravel/crushed stone and smoothed it out. We built up a circular wall with the granite blocks (probably on average they were the size of pavers, only thicker) and we left openings between the blocks for air to get sucked in. The fire ring works because the sides are high enough to contain the wood, and having the “air holes” keeps the fire from being smothered. Having the base of sand and gravel allows for good drainage after a rain, so we don’t have a standing puddle of water in our pit. It was cheap, and has held up for several years now – we just rearrange the granite if anything sinks over the winter.
Bricks would probably work just as well. You’d probably want to make sure they were fairly heat resistant though. But you want to make sure that air can flow in at ground level to keep your fire going.
Anne Laurie
@raven: Ah, thanks — so I’ll use it tonight!
NotMax
@Anne Laurie
While we’re schmoozing, sent a photo your way yesterday.
Barbara
@seefleur: We bought a standalone fire pit from Lowes. You can use it as a grill. lowes.com/pd/Big-Horn-47-24-in-W-Black-Steel-Wood-Burning-Fire-Pit/1000180655
Miss Bianca
Aww, Thurston! Sausage dog with the Little Feet of Concrete!
btw, I think the funniest tweet I ever read was one of Cole’s a few years back, which simply read (caps original):
GOD DAMN IT THURSTON STOP BARKING
Could.not.stop.laughing.
MomSense
@seefleur:
I have the other kind of Maine fire pit. Someone put one in front of their house next to the road and put a free sign on it!
Chief Oshkosh
Pikers.
The willow tree obviously ate the mustard. It’s not that it’s to0 close, it’s that it moves.
On its own.
With intent.
NotMax
@Barbara
Ah, if I had the scratch for it.
Villago Delenda Est
I’ve missed Thurston. He’s such a (fill in the blank) dog.
Yard looking very good, John. A pleasant space to chomp on just barbecued chicken on a June evening.
Yutsano
@NotMax: Hahaha yeah…my car costed less than that.
seefleur
@Barbara:
That looks way too sophisticated for the likes of us – just kidding. My spousal unit is all about doing things on the cheap. He’s an engineer, so that and being cheap/frugal is an interesting combination in our yard and household stuff. (Dear FSM, all I want for my next birthday is a construction dumpster to get rid of all the “stuff that might come in handy at a later date”…)
gkoutnik
Long, long term mostly lurker. On the road all day so missed the first appeal today. Just did my part to keep this site running.
Like so many, I’ve had more time during the pandemic, and have spent it in places I haven’t had time for before. One of the most satisfying and rewarding being the BJ comments. What a great community – impassioned, informed, connected. The very stuff of democracy. And an unbelievably diverse and talented group of front-pagers who enrich my life from so many directions.
We need to keep on keeping on. Thank you all for being there. Six hours on the road today, and drove by at least three signs that said “We’re all in this together.”
Villago Delenda Est
@Chief Oshkosh: It’s a whomping willow?
seefleur
@Barbara: That@Barbara:
That looks way too sophisticated for the likes of us – just kidding. My spousal unit is all about doing things on the cheap. He’s an engineer, so that and being cheap/frugal is an interesting combination in our yard and household stuff. (Dear FSM, all I want for my next birthday is a construction dumpster to get rid of all the “stuff that might come in handy at a later date”…)
@MomSense: We had one of those – but I think we were probably at least the third owners… it didn’t last long. Sigh. It also left all kinds of schmutz in the back of our then-truck. Who knew that soot is so hard to get rid of?
zhena gogolia
@gkoutnik:
Nice comment — stop lurking!
NotMax
@Yutsano
But have you used it as a cooker?
;)
Omnes Omnibus
@Miss Bianca: Thurston is related to Elvis Costello?
Miss Bianca
@Villago Delenda Est: Yard is looking good! Everything looks so greeeen…here in the central mountains we are already at a Stage Two fire ban because of anemic snow fall this year, and it’s only May!
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus: Eh? *head tilt
Duane
When you’re sitting under the pergola with not much to do, don’t turn your back on the willow. I don’t trust its intentions.
Omnes Omnibus
@Chief Oshkosh: Is it a huorn or is it from Birnam Wood?
Omnes Omnibus
@Miss Bianca: One of EC’s pseudonyms besides EC was Little Hands of Concrete because of his propensity to break strings.
Aleta
@MomSense: “the other kind of Maine fire pit”
Where I am, that’s the metal drum out of an old dryer.
(Which seems to work well.)
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus: Heck, how did I not know that? One of my oldest friends from Chicago was a (very short-lived) guitar tech for EC – got canned when he didn’t have a guitar ready for him fast enough one night! I’ll have to ask him!
Omnes Omnibus
@Miss Bianca: Look at the credits on King of America.
ETA: One of my favorites of his ‘nyms on album credits is “Nick Lowe Not To Blame For This One.”
Kattails
Yard looks great. The willow… perhaps you could take up basketweaving….
Miss Bianca
@Omnes Omnibus: I will do that.
NotMax
@Kattails
Or homemade aspirin.
;)
geg6
I love Thurston and I love Rosie. Both were wonderful, sweet pups when I visited. You slander them, Cole! Slander, I say!
Miss Bianca
@geg6: I do think Thurston is freaking cute. His little face! With those cinnamon eyebrows!
geg6
@Kay:
But she’s not crabby at all! She was all about getting scritches when I met her. And she was kind to Koda, which isn’t hard. And also to Lovey, which is. She was very social and happy.
Omnes Omnibus
@geg6: Well, yeah. You didn’t spend 90% of your time telling another dog that she was the best dog ever and all other dogs suck. Rosie isn’t dumb; she knows she isn’t the favorite.
Brachiator
I’m looking at the photo of Thurston and thinking, “You know, that pose and background would make a pretty good painting.”
NotMax
Gawd, Brian Williams is such a bone-headed doofus. He’s talking with the dean of Stanford’s school of medicine and asked him what Stanford football games will look like this fall.
BruceFromOhio
New tagline?
Mike in Oly
I love your animals, and your back yard is lovely, but for the love of gawd could you please align that raised bed at the back left with the other lines in the garden? It is so jarring. How can you live with that? It’s mentally painful to look at. Unlike those cute faces of your pets. That’s a respite we can all get into.
Cathie from Canada
On a side note, does anyone remember Game of Thrones anymore?
And has there ever before been a TV show that inspired and fascinated people around the world for season after season, and then disappeared so utterly and completely from our social consciousness as soon as it was over?
Betty Cracker
The description of Thurston’s deficiencies as a lap dog are an instant classic of the genre.
Betty
@seefleur: Are all engineers like that? I despair of ever seeing my husband agreeing to get rid of the junk. Well, junk to me anyway.