Know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away…
Failed ‘Money Heist’: Kitten tries to sneak off with a bundle of cash but gets caught twice pic.twitter.com/euUX4MxATF
— Reuters (@Reuters) July 23, 2020
That little dude is smarter than… well…
FDR: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
JFK: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
DJT: "Person, woman, man, camera, TV."— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) July 23, 2020
Oh my god. pic.twitter.com/hP3h20Oxuc
— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) July 23, 2020
Is an unwritten part of the cognitive test “does the subject seem preoccupied with talking about passing the cognitive test”?
— PersonWomanManCameraTVHat (@Popehat) July 23, 2020
“I took a cognitive test. But enough about that. Did you know I took a cognitive test?” https://t.co/5WOvHlBbPm
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) July 23, 2020
Trump portraying passing a cognitive test at the hospital like he just discovered the theory of relativity is completely beyond parody pic.twitter.com/YyYwu3yXik
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) July 23, 2020
Increasingly clear that every time he brags about passing the cognition test he thinks he's mentioning it for the first time.
— Zeddy (@Zeddary) July 23, 2020
my “i have passed a cognitive test and do not have dementia” t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt
— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) July 23, 2020
Trump 2020: I Absolutely Am Not Suffering From Dementia, Why Do You Keep Asking? https://t.co/Xo9ue2A6rQ
— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) July 23, 2020
Obama didn’t brag half as much about winning a Nobel Peace Prize as Trump is about passing a dementia test.
— Chris Lu (@ChrisLu44) July 23, 2020
Every time Trump speaks, I'm sure that one of us is having a stroke. It's like running over the alphabet with a lawnmower. https://t.co/7Ds6sL9NTv
— Mig Greengard (@chessninja) July 23, 2020
OzarkHillbilly
Thanx Mig, now all day long the dogs are gonna be looking at me like I’ve gone over the edge because I will just start giggling for no apparent reason all over again.
Baud
Baud
Baud
debbie
@OzarkHillbilly:
That is definitely an analogy to remember!
NotMax
Shutdown shaggy blues? One engineer’s solution.
May want to top up the coffee mug first as this runs about 13 minutes.
Baud
I’m glad Trump is bragging about his test. It’ll make his insanity defense less likely to succeed.
debbie
Isn’t it a hallmark of the guilty to recount events in stultifying detail?
Baud
Kristin Welker just did a serious need story in the “test” on the Today Show.
Betty Cracker
@Baud: I read an account elsewhere of how Andrew Bates — the Biden staffer who put together a pretty good Ukraine non-scandal explainer video months ago, IIRC — is going after Senator Johnson hammer and tongs. They’re on offense. Good!
RSA
For anyone interested, I’ve seen the cognitive test administered. A key aspect of the memory portion is that the items to be remembered are not obviously related to each other: penny — oak tree — hot sauce, etc. In Trump’s recounting of obviously related items, he’s successfully passed an even easier version than the real thing.
Kristine
@OzarkHillbilly: that is a great line.
prostratedragon
Coming attraction? The first reply on that Lincoln Project tweet is Sarah Cooper, wanting to know where there’s a transcript available.
MJS
” So I said to the doctor, it was Dr. Ronny Jackson…” 1) Jackson has not been Trump’s doctor for a couple of years now and 2) he’s the doctor who ridiculously claimed that Trump weighed only 239 lbs., which conveniently put him just under the BMI measure for obesity. So either Trump got the name of the doctor wrong, which adds to the cognitive decline theory, or we know not to trust the results of the test, because it was administered by Jackson.
Betty Cracker
@RSA: I wondered about that too. It almost seems like someone (a crooked doctor whose political ambitions could be advanced by the person taking the assessment?) concocted a test that would be especially easy for a media-obsessed person to pass.
Kay
I think Trump’s obsession with the test is because he didn’t pass it. It is completely in keeping with everything we have learned about him that he would loudly preemptively lie about passing this test, because he failed it.
Ken
It’s also a hallmark of senility, and possibly of narcissism. So we’re not lacking for explanations.
Baud
I’m looking forward to the dementia challenge in the debates.
“Mr. Trump: please spell “cat.”
“Mr. Biden: please solve the Navier-Stokes equation.”
Mary G
@Baud: Evidently the Congressional Republicans have decided to graciously continue the additional money for unemployment benefits – at $100 a week instead of the $600 a week that’s about to end and the Dems in the House already proposed to extend until the end of the year. When 20 million or so unemployed Americans have $2,000 a month yanked out from under them, the economy will sink like the Titanic.
Hildebrand
@RSA: I think he just used five words of objects he could see during the interview – no way he remembered the words from the actual test.
Danielx
@OzarkHillbilly:
It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!
RSA
@Hildebrand: That sounds exactly right.
Baud
I wonder if the U.S. will be banned from the Olympics next year.
Sm*t Cl*de
If Trump really passed the test, it was because he paid someone else to sit it for him.
OzarkHillbilly
@Kay: Dingdingding… We have a winner.
MJS
@RSA: I don’t believe the items he recited were the ones was presented during the test, which means he doesn’t remember the items he was presented, which means he may be suffering from cognitive decline. I think he named a few things near him or associated with things near him at the time (“man”, leads to “woman”; there was a camera present, he was on TV, etc.).
NotMax
“Identify these three animals.”
“Animal 1, animal 2 and – um, wait, I’ll get it – animal 3.”
Ken
@Betty Cracker: They may have given him a proper test with five unrelated items, but he made up his own easier list for his story since he knew he would be repeating it several times.
I am now wondering if he got through the interview on the first try, or if they had to do multiple takes.
JPL
John Berman on CNN did an excellent take down of the test.. Four score and seven years ago LINK
Sm*t Cl*de
Heist Kitty looks like an Abyssinian to me. They are sneaky little bastidges.
Baud
@Kay:
“Release the test!”*
* If it’s not being audited of course.
mad citizen
@Baud: I watched this report. Not sure what you mean by “serious need test”.
I don’t understand how the WH reporters continue to be stenographers. Welker simply repeats that trump says the last five or six questions are hard. They are not. They are questions like “What day is it?” “What month is it?” There are so so many followups that should be asked. How many times has trump taken the test? Why? What exactly happened at Walter Reed last year? Where are the pictures of him visiting soldiers there two Saturdays ago
For those that don’t look at twitter, know that “PersonWomanManCameraTV” is trending and trump is a laughingstock this morning. Look at the responses to Tom Joseph’s twitter for many interesting replies. Someone put a laugh track to the clip that makes it even better.
SFAW
@Betty Cracker:
Thank FSM no one like that would ever be brought in by any administration.
Baud
@mad citizen:
Need = news
Autocorrect has declared war on me.
Lapassionara
It is the word “acuity” that was the tell for me. I know Trump thinks he has the best words, but I don’t think he came up with that word by himself. And if Dr. Jackson administered it, then he took it several years ago.
Good morning, everyone.
Ken
@Baud: Reminds me of an Art Buchwald column, but that was about the literacy tests some states used to require of voters. The punchline did in fact involve spelling “cat”.
EDIT: Found it online. After the black voter had gotten through a dozen increasingly-insane questions and was only tripped up when he mis-translated a passage from the Dead Sea Scrolls, the white voter comes up, spells “cat” as “K-A-T”, and the poll worker says “you’re getting warm, try again”.
NotMax
@Baud
Yew no watt ewe did.
:)
Kay
@Baud:
Please. Something happened with that test! I took the same test as part of a CLE on dementia and estate planning and I never gave it another thought. It’s an ordinary diagnostic tool. There are lots of versions online. Tens of millions of older people have probably taken it. No one else is running around telling people “I passed!”
He had trouble taking that test.
JPL
@Hildebrand: Yesterday he stayed off twitter, I assume to prepare for the interview. The person that helped him memorize the five words, obviously didn’t expect trump to bring Ronny Jackson’s name up.
SFAW
@Baud:
Nicely done.
frosty
OMG. That transcript. Time to call Toomey again and ask if he’s proud of himself.
rikyrah
Good Morning, Everyone ???
rikyrah
@Kay:
You nailed it ?
Baud
@rikyrah: Good morning.
Frankensteinbeck
Lo and behold, 24-48 hours after the briefing supposed to give Trump a poll bump, he finds a way to fuck it up.
rikyrah
@mad citizen:
Uh uh uh?
rikyrah
They had a sale on Kindle Fires yesterday. Was in need of a new one. Unexpected purchase, but I am glad that I bought it ?
WereBear
I finished Mary Trump’s book. As fiction, it would be a wild mashup of the old prime time soap Dallas, as based on the Vanderbilts, done like The Sopranos.
Killah series potential for dark humor/crime fans!
Baud
Re: Dr. Jackson, apparently the test that Trump is bragging about was taken two years ago.
rikyrah
@WereBear:
That is quite a vision ??
rikyrah
@Baud:
So, before the mysterious trip to Walter Reed ??
Ken
I think the interviewer in this case was from Fox, and not Chris Wallace, so they would definitely not ask any really tough questions like “what is today’s date” or “draw a clock with the hands showing ten minutes past eight”. I’d love to know what the interviewer was thinking during that ramble, though.
Kay
Donald Trump lies about both his height and his weight. The lie about his height is easily observable because he often can’t avoid standing beside people who don’t lie about their height, like Obama for example. I think the lie about his weight is also glaringly obvious, but I suppose one could differ on that. But the height? It’s a lie.
The most likely explanation for why he keeps talking about this test -especially his ridiculous repeated assertion that it’s “hard”- is he’s lying about passing it or he struggled with it and is too stupid and insulated to know that tens of millions of people have taken it so thinks he can fool us into thinking it’s difficult.
JPL
@Baud: The president said that it was the last time he was at the hospital. We know that he went to Walter Reed last November.
We have to come to the conclusion that the man should not be in charge of nukes. There will be no controlling him if the polls remain in Joe’s favor.
Baud
@JPL:
Hard to know for sure, since the president lies like we breathe.
Danielx
@Betty Cracker:
“Crooked” does not adequately describe a physician who could put in writing that Trump weighs 239 pounds. I mean, look at pictures of him golfing – the shadow of his ass weighs twenty pounds all by itself.
Spanky
I’m disappointed one of the words wasn’t lamp. I love lamp.
JPL
@Kay: Yup. He obsesses about it. The obsession is what frightens me most. At the next briefing, he’ll have Ronny Jackson fly in to verify he’s the smartest of them all.
narya
Kitchen update! Surprise! No, it’s not done, though it is very close to functional. Yesterday the electricians were tidying up and re-hanging the ceiling fixture . . . and discovered that the gas pipe that used to be for lights WAS STILL FUNCTIONING. They uncapped it, nothing came out, so they went to cut it . . . which dislodged the crud, and suddenly the kitchen is being flooded with gas. They turned off the gas (so no stove yet), and they’ll come back today with the proper parts, but it made everyone nervous there for a minute. But sink, fridge, and presumably dishwasher and microwave work, and today I’ll get the rest of it. There are some painting touchups, but those are going to be delayed until the screen door and tile go in (they even left their equipment, piled neatly in the corner, along with the paint, etc.). The person who recommended these guys said that they work neat and clean, and I fully concur. And? it really looks fabulous. I think the tile colors are going to set it off very nicely.
mrmoshpotato
Epic fail, Reuters! Who doesn’t tell us how much cash the apprentice cat burglar tried to steal?
How else can we calculate how much pussy and catnip the kid was going to buy?!
(I am in no way sorry.)
Ken
@JPL: After Jackson’s testimonial, Trump will drink a glass of water.
Then he’ll spend the next two weeks complaining because the press didn’t break into applause and cheers, like the Tulsa quarter-crowd did.
JPL
@narya: It will be so exciting to see the pics. The gas leak had to be frightening..
Spanky
@Kay: I actually think he’s been told multiple times by his toadies/handlers that he passed it with the highest score ever. There’s no reason for anyone to tell him the sad truth.
NotMax
@narya
Run a hose and you’ll be able to crank out creme brulees by the gross.
:)
SFAW
@Baud:
“And can you tell me what the correct ignition timing would be on a 1955 Bel Air Chevrolet with a 327-cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carburetor?”
“Also: why does the porridge bird lay it’s egg in the air?”
JPL
@Ken: At that point we should all just curl up in the fetal position and pray.
Baud
@SFAW:
“That’s a bullshit question!”*
* Which I can totally see Biden saying.
mrmoshpotato
@Baud: Or what? They’ll really show Biden by not voting?
rikyrah
@Baud:
Recovery ???
Baud
@mrmoshpotato:
Who knows? It’s just a preference poll.
Kay
@Spanky:
Mary Trump said he’s always been “institutionalized” and I think that explains a lot of his bizarre behavior. He genuinely doesn’t know what is “ordinary”. He thinks ordinary events are extraordinary because he has exists inside a bubble constructed to protect him. That’s why he’s always saying “not many people know this…”
MomSense
@RSA:
Thank you. I finally saw this clip and called BS on this cognitive test. Because he’s such a liar we can’t know if he took a test, didn’t take a test, took a test and “failed”, took a simplified version, knows he failed and is lying about it, was told by the administrator that he “passed” even if he didn’t do well. What we don’t know is what test he took and what the results were. I’ve never seen a pass/fail cognitive test. That wouldn’t be of much use.
The big thing he doesn’t seem to understand is why was he given a cognitive test. There is usually a reason for it.
Ken
A couple of lines in that transcript fit with that theory. I’m particularly looking at:
mrmoshpotato
@RSA: I feel the need to brag about the memory part of the California Achievement Tests from grade school.
A gorp is still not a ball!
JPL
@Kay: Interesting. Mary is going to be on The View today, so I might tune in.
SFAW
@Baud:
And if Biden looked as good as Marisa Tomei did in that scene/movie (even with the big hair), I’d definitely vote for him.
narya
@JPL: Yup. One of the guys came through to where I was working, saying, do you have a fan? (Not realizing that an industrial-strength one was in the corner, with the other stuff that the carpenter had left.)
@NotMax: Or mini-smores tarts (graham-cracker crust, chocolate ganache, torched Italian meringue . . .); those are always a favorite around here. Though admittedly I still prefer to use a mini butane torch rather than, say, a pipe from the ceiling.
rikyrah
@narya: gas leak ????
germy
Interesting thread:
Ken
And of course both are preferable to letting the room fill with gas and striking a match.
Danielx
@Kay:
That, plus if he doesn’t see it on tv it doesn’t exist to him. Television IS his reality, and ratings indicate approval. Television ratings validate him.
SFAW
@narya:
“What does THIS button d- ?”
frosty
@narya: Gas pipe still functioning? You gotta love old houses!
Betty Cracker
@Kay: Like Mary Trump said, he’s been institutionalized all his life. If he had any perspective at all, he’d realize how ridiculous he sounds. It would also be pretty easy to lie about the test — he could say it was a “special” test given to presidents or something like that. But he has no idea how he sounds to normal people, and he’s surrounded by toadies who don’t have the guts to reel him in.
Danielx
@germy:
Whatever Justin Bieber is wearing on any given day?
Ken
@SFAW: Oh, gee, I’d forgotten the ignition timing line was from My Cousin Vinnie. I was wondering why Biden would call bullshit on solving the Navier-Stokes equations – had he developed a meta-proof?
mrmoshpotato
@Baud: And finally tell us the bigliest things your investigators found about Obama’s birth certificate.
You can’t sink his presidency anymore, and we want to believe, you Soviet shitpile mobster conman who lies about his own height.
Jeffro
@Baud: Yup. I saw this one too: Arizona vs New Mexico…they took different paths and ended up in the same spot, economically, for now.
I’m trying to remember: which party was it, again, that said we have to take care of the virus if we want to restart the economy?
NotMax
@germy
Snakeskin thongs. For men.
:)
Soprano2
If it weren’t Trump, I would feel sorry for him. But it’s Trump, so fuck him.
Jeffro
YEOWCH! ;)
(filing that one away for later use)
narya
@frosty: I know! I mean, on one hand they were surprised–and they had tested before they started hacking at it–but not completely baffled, either. In general I like running into oddities that tell me the story of the place (and I found another story yesterday that didn’t involve gas), but this one was a little more frightening. Yesterday I also had the electricians pull out the old alarm system, which has left a spot in the closet and two in the hall/dining room, where there’s old paint. Near the front door, however, there is this swatch of navy blue flowered wallpaper (!!). I think I’m going to put a little frame around it, on the wall, because I kinda like it.
Jinchi
Watching the video it’s pretty clear that Trump is just naming off things in his field of view as he’s being interviewed on camera by a man (a person) for TV. I’d lay odds there was a woman standing just off camera.
He would have been more convincing if he could have remembered (or even fabricated) the 5 words that were actually on his test.
Woodrow/asim
It’s like the false story of Bush in ’92 and the supermarket checkout, but actually real this time.
I think Obama mentioned “The Bubble” as well, a few times, and his attempts to break out of it while POTUS.
mad citizen
@Baud: Yes, if this story devolves like the Obama birth certificate into “Why doesn’t Biden take the test” I am going to scream. First, why is anyone (PRESS) taking anything coming out of trump’s mouth as fact. Let’s just start there.
I keep saying as a reminder to us all: The last time he was at the hospital was two Saturdays ago. The WH said he visited soldiers. The distraction story of course was “Look, he’s wearing a mask!”
No proof exists that he visited soldiers yet most of the lazy press reported it that way. He was there 40 minutes. Did he take the cognitive test again? Is that why it’s so fresh in his mind and why he keeps talking about it?
Jeffro
@germy: I saw that one! I thought the best two were “being able to speak a second language” and “wearing something extremely skimpy to a social event”
Dorothy A. Winsor
@narya: Wow. Scary moment! But it’s kind of cool that there’s still that bit of history in your ceiling.
@MomSense: Yes, the doc is unlikely to say “pass” or “fail” re that cognitive test. I remember when my mother took it. At the end, the doc said he thought she was in the early stages of Alzheimers, which is why she asked for the test.
I’ve never taken it, and frankly, my memory is getting so bad I’m not sure I could remember all five words! I guess I’d be paying attention instead of my usual multi-tasking, so maybe.
Anyway, if I did pass, I think I need a bunch of doctors to be standing around going ooh! and ahh! We’ve never seen anything like that.
I’m sure that’s how it works.
Freemark
And would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids
Soprano2
@narya: Holy cow! This is definitely an advertisement for why people have to have work like this inspected by someone from the city or county. You’re lucky something bad didn’t happen sooner. Scary.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@NotMax: Jesus Christ. Did you have to do that?
Ken
“We shouldn’t be stoking partisan divisions during this tragic time. Let us not look back, instead let us unite under President Trump’s brilliant plan to get control of the virus by using masks, which he came up with all on his own based on his incredible innate knowledge…”
– Fox News, any day now. And unfortunately, most of the rest of the media.
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
@Baud:
Recovery? My revenues are now flatlined in advance of the end of the $600 PUA, and the Countess’ travel sales through the end of the year are drier than Melanoma’s vag on date night with the deadbeat.
Kay
Hers’s the Institute of Aging urging ordinary people to administer the super dooper hard test that Donald Trump either passed or failed:
The “clock test” is on there too. Ordinary. Trump is just too stupid to know that.
mrmoshpotato
@Betty Cracker: If he had any perspective at all, he would’ve known running for President was going to put him under a microscope, and that the Presidency isn’t about everyone kiss his orange, manbaby, bulbous ass.
Ken
I was half expecting him to change the order the second or third time he repeated them. Maybe if the woman had moved to a different place, so the cues weren’t left-to-right….
Though on reflection, that’s too obvious a gag. Then again, the writers for this timeline haven’t exactly been subtle.
Jinchi
That’s a good point. Trump is the guy who stood grinning and giving a thumbs up in a photo op with a 2 month old orphan after the shootings in El Paso. He isn’t one to privately console sick and injured soldiers.
Chyron HR
@mrmoshpotato:
Oh, they’re not going to vote regardless.
Baud
@Kay:
What if you’re one of those people who mentally tunes out their loved ones?
mad citizen
@Baud: Reading the Wapo story, I love how this is casually tossed off after saying Nixon’s aides were concerned about his mental state in his final DAYS: “And during his last years in the White House, Ronald Reagan’s aides also grew concerned about his cognitive abilities. Reagan was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s five years after leaving office.”
Years!
Gin & Tonic
@MomSense: And the other problem is that he can lie about any of this medical stuff because, if he was evaluated by normal, ethical doctors, their code of ethics, not to mention HIPAA, prohibits them from saying anything. So he either has unethical doctors who lie to him and us, or ethical doctors whose lips are sealed. Win-win, from his perspective.
sanjeevs
I think Trump’s dementia must have been confirmed just before the troll farms started pushing the ‘Biden’s got dementia ‘ crap.
SiubhanDuinne
@Baud:
Trump: “P – U – S – S – Y“
Jager
@SFAW:
Biden: I have no idea because, in 1955, Chevrolet only offered a 265 cubic inch V8.
OzarkHillbilly
Heh. Surprising how often that is still true.
NotMax
@Dorothy A. Winsor
Look at it this way: if you weren’t wide awake before, you are now.
Also too, 2:30 a.m. here, still martini time.
;)
Jinchi
It looked like me like he’s picked up a mnemonic trick to help him in these situations.
mrmoshpotato
@Jinchi: Birds and snakes, an aeroplane, Lenny Bruce is not afraid
JPL
https://twitter.com/DougJBalloon
SFAW
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
Have you seen Sarah Cooper’s “How to cognitive”? It’s pretty funny.
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
“So Admiral Jackson comes to me, strong guy, smart, impressive. And he’s with the Joint Chiefs. And he says ‘sir’, and he’s got tears in his eyes, strong guy. And the generals are all crying, too. ‘Sir’, he says. ‘We noticed that you got all your doodies into the toilet two days in a row last week. However did you manage that? We’ve never seen that before.’ It was incredible. They’d never seen anything like it before, these big, tough guys, all standing there, crying. No president before me did that, and they were really amazed.”
SFAW
@mrmoshpotato:
Christ, I HOPE it’s not the end of the world.
Geminid
Congress got something good done yesterday when the House passed the Great American Outdoors Act, 310-107. Last month the the Senate passed the bill 75-25. The Act will fully and permanently fund the Land and Water Conservation Fund at $900 billion a year, paid out of federal offshore oil and gas royalties. The Act also appropriates $9.5 billion dollars for maintenance and repairs of National Parks, etc. It is thought that McConnell only let this bill on the floor because he knows Corey Gardner (CO) and Steve Daines (MT) face tough reelections and need help. Conversely, the Act will help freshmen Democrats like Jason Crow (CO) and Xochitl Torres Small (NM). Politics aside, this is a big win for the nation. It’s stimulus money well spent, and among other benefits will expand access to public lands. John Lewis introduced the House bill in March, 2019. The Great American Outdoors Act is another capstone in his legacy.
mrmoshpotato
@SFAW: Find another song yelling random objects. :)
Ken
Do you mean an aide standing out of camera range with the five words on a poster, written large enough that he can read them without his glasses?
Ken
We Didn’t Start the Fire
NotMax
@SFAW
No soap, radio!
:)
SFAW
@mrmoshpotato:
I’m more accustomed to yelling AT random objects.
mrmoshpotato
@Geminid:
Fascist McTurtle needs to be punched in all his bones.
Kay
The V Shaped Recovery people were as delusional as the Covid deniers. Since the financial crash of ’09, I have wondered- why is it acceptable for financial and economic people to be wrong so often?
Throwing a dart is as reliable as their predictions, yet every single time there’s a crash they’re trotted out to make these definitive pronouncements. You would think AT LEAST they would stop speaking with such certainty. The Covid scientists admit error and doubt. Why do none of the financial and economic people?
mrmoshpotato
@Ken: Not enough actual objects. :(
Spanky
@mrmoshpotato:
NotMax
@Kay
The secret is to buy gold.
Or sell gold.
Or eat gold. I forget.
;)
Amir Khalid
@Kay:
Mary Trump told Stephen Colbert that the very way Donald T talks about acing a dementia test raises her suspicion, as a professional psychologist, that he failed it.
It makes me wonder why the usual consequence of failing such a test did not follow for Donald Trump.
Amir Khalid
@Ken:
Or any song by Yes in their prog-rock pomp.
SFAW
@NotMax:
Maybe if the Murderer-in-Chief got
IvankaMelanie to PAINT him gold. All over.Amir Khalid
@NotMax:
Or do like Trump, and put gold paint on everything.
NotMax
@Ken
“The chair is not my son.”
– Michael Jackson
:)
SFAW
@Amir Khalid:
S-u-u-u-u-u-re it does
SiubhanDuinne
@Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:
Ewwww. And LOL. Both.
MomSense
On my drive home yesterday I received a call from a local number and answered it (hands free). It turned out to be a poll taker from Richmond Virginia. Because I was bored I decided to answer. It took the whole 30 minute drive home. The questions were all about Trump v Biden and Collins v Gideon. It was obviously a Republican poll because the framing of the questions was LOL funny at times – which I did.
Whoever commissioned that poll is obviously in major fucking denial.
Elizabelle
I am thinking of Angela Merkel, and the other world leaders, watching this from afar and thinking OMG. How are they securing the nukes? What treaty is he going to Godzilla his way over next?
Also, what is he divulging to “unfriendly” countries, in his attempt to convince them he is in full charge of his faculties?
@mad citizen:
Bingo.
rp
If he hasn’t taken this test, Biden needs to make an ad saying “I haven’t taken the test, because MY DOCTOR DOESN’T THINK I HAVE DEMENTIA.”
Kay
@Amir Khalid:
This is one of the areas of law I practice in and there are no “usual consequences” that I’m aware of- the whole issue is treated very carefully, really. There is a progression that happens if there’s real cognitive decline but it’s 99% initiated by family members. There is first an effort to put some oversight in on financial matters with something “least restrictive” like a POA, then there are the levels of guardianships. No one would base any determination on the test Trump took, because a guardianship is a profound loss of rights.
He’s exaggerating this test in every aspect- it’s not a hard test, it’s not an unusual test, and it’s not a conclusive test. It’s a simple, cheap evaluation tool and that’s all it is. It has no “consequences” because it isn’t precise or reliable enough to trigger those.
Which should make you wonder why he’s obsessing on it.
Amir Khalid
@Elizabelle:
Hmm. Interesting point. Why did he take the cognitive test again? Was he hoping for best two of three?
Kristine
@narya: Looking forward to the photos!
Kristine
@Amir Khalid: He probably wishes he could hire someone to take it for him.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
My theory is that he flunked that part and what is stuck in his mind is the five words he free-associated instead of the actual five words.
Jinchi
They’re like coronavirus tests. He gets them several times a day.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@SFAW: Yes! Sarah Cooper is one good thing to come out of this hell hole we’re in.
SFAW
@Jinchi:
For which he tests very well, very positive. Or negative. Or good. Or something. He didn’t seem to be very clear on whether he thought positive testing, or testing positive, for COVID was a good thing. Or whether he had tested negative, or if negative was bad.
Booger
@NotMax: Cremes brulee, please.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@SFAW: For a guy who says COVID is the sniffles, he’s fanatical about tests for himself and anyone who comes near him.
NotMax
@SFAW
Big beautiful test results. The biggest and beautifulest ever.
Gin & Tonic
@Booger: If you’re going to be pedantic, do it right: crèmes brûlée
Omnes Omnibus
@Booger: I am sorry we are all out. But the raspberry cheesecake is quite good.
Freemark
@Geminid: This is great news. It is well past time to get the park maintenance done. But I think you meant 900 million per year.
Luciamia
Heist Kittie has an Edward G. Robinson vibe.”You’ll never get me, coppers! “
Redshift
@SFAW:
It’s definitely “the end of the world as we know it,” but there’s still some hope we can rebuild.
Danielx
@Kay:
Well, how else are the likes of Larry Kudlow and Stephen Moore supposed to make a living? It’s not like an economic consulting firm known as Doucherockets and Idiots at Large LLC is going to draw a lot of business.
Elizabelle
The Guardian’s headline:
Repeatedly. LOL. And note that in the video, he slows during his telling of his feat, because he HAS to get them just right.
They’re easy words, from his world, what he loves the most. TV. Camera. Person, woman, man. Paying attention to ME.
evodevo
@Jinchi: Yeah, and knowing how people have complained about the swab test and the discomfort involved, I have a hard time believing he is being “tested” several times a day, given what a whining baby he is.
leeleeFL
@OzarkHillbilly: Me, as well! That was delicious!
evodevo
@Kay: That’s why they call economics “the dismal science” lol
Ken
@evodevo: My own suspicion is that they’re taking his temperature with one of those remote thermometers, and telling him that it’s a COVID test. For that matter they may just be pointing a TV remote control at his head and saying “all OK”.
Luciamia
@mad citizen: Why should Biden stoop? Didn’t Trump promise to release his taxes if E. Warren took that DNA test? Fuck him!
SFAW
@evodevo:
Has anyone thought to ask or check re: whether he got those little stickers that pediatricians give to toddlers when the toddler gets a shot? “No one has ever received so many of these stickers! Obama didn’t even get ONE! And I have, like, a skillion!”
SFAW
@Ken:
Outstanding!
Geminid
@Freemark: Thanks. You are correct. The Land and Water Conservation Fund will get $900 million a year. The additional funding for park repairs will be $1.9 billion a year for 5 years, total $9.5 billion.
NotMax
@SFAW
Stickers? Back in the day, we got lollipops!
SFAW
@Geminid:
Of course, all that money will be doled out in under-$10,000 increments. To Mar-a-Lago. Which has just been declared a National Park, a National Monument, and a National Treasure.
SFAW
@NotMax:
Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m sure you also had to walk up the 170 flights of stairs, both coming and going to/from the doctor’s office, in blinding snow, etc etc.
Anyway: too much sugar in lollipops.
NotMax
@SFAW
The point nine billion assigned to creating a fresh sculpture of Mount Rushmore in chopped liver daily.
Nicole
@mrmoshpotato:
“Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)”?
germy
Maybe they’re giving him the less invasive test, the one where he spits into S.E. Cupp.
germy
@Nicole:
John Lennon’s song “God”
etc.
Ken
@NotMax: I may be misremembering, but I think the dentists asked the doctors to cut down on the lollipops back in the 70s.
NotMax
@Ken
And it’s been downhill ever since.
:)
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Catching up on twitter an the comments, trump has claimed he took the test on his most recent trip to Walter Reed, given by the doctors there, which was last November (2019), IIRC the first part of a physical that hasn’t been completed yet, or at least they haven’t announced it, and he has also said he asked Ronnie “Dr Fun” Jackson to give him a cognitive test, at the White House. Per Wiki, Ronnie Jackson left the White House in March, 2018.
Looks like more questions than answers
ETA: On trump’s multiple (Covid) tests per day, my first thought was he commandeered some of the saliva tests that Scott Gottlieb has been saying for months will be available in a matter of weeks. No way is he getting the brain-stab every day, much less several times.
germy
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Ronny Jackson has been too busy to administer tests to trump:
Trump’s former physician Ronny Jackson wins GOP primary runoff for Texas congressional seat
Gin & Tonic
@NotMax: That’s because the dentists had bribed the pediatricians.
mad citizen
AOC live: https://www.c-span.org/event/?473963/house-representatives
germy
Jim, Foolish Literalist
also, no way in hell did trump know the word “acuity” before he heard other people describing the test they gave him
NotMax
@Gin & Tonic
Polio vaccine wasn’t administered on a saccharin cube.
Just sayin’.
;)
mrmoshpotato
@rp: (Ominous music)(Dump screams)”Why doesn’t Joe’s doctor think he has dementia?!”
Roger Moore
@germy:
Eating game meat. If you’re rich, it’s an exotic delicacy; if you’re poor, it’s because a hunting license is cheaper than the supermarket.
mrmoshpotato
@Luciamia: “Naaawwwww! Ya see!”
Denali
@Baud:
Biden has already committed to picking a woman. Now he is being pressured to pick a black woman. It is his decision, but to my mind, he should pick the person who will help him win the eleciton.
mrmoshpotato
@SFAW: Mmmmmmm I’m reminded of the lollipops that had a S molded into them.
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
It’s colloidal silver you’re supposed to eat.
germy
@Roger Moore:
Yes. Also, periodic fasting.
a thousand flouncing lurkers was fidelio
@Ken: The people in my office who are not able to work remotely are going through that when they come in, first thing. It’s not a COVID-19 test per se, but an elevated temperature is a sign further evaluation may be needed—and they aren’t allowed in until they have an actual negative COVID-19 test.
I wouldn’t be surprised that they are using that as a basic entry/no entry test for staff, including POTUS; it’s fast, easy, painless, noninvasive, and cheap.
NotMax
@RogerMoore
On the other hand….
;)
Ken
The sugar was an adjuvant.
Kay
The new presidential tone is going well I see.
If you know any Republicans make sure and give them shit about Trump’s goons occupying US cities. They’re incredibly defensive about it. Understandably.
Can you imagine being a Republican and having to defend this administration every single day? No wonder they’re irritable.
Roger Moore
@germy:
One that comes to my mind- and that I assume most Americans won’t think of- is broken rice. It started out as a poverty food in Vietnam, since the broken rice grains were cheaper (and needed less fuel to cook) than intact grains. Now there’s a whole cuisine built around it.
mrmoshpotato
Haha. Fuck ’em.
Gin & Tonic
@Roger Moore: Isn’t that the stuff that turns your skin blue?
Kay
Trump’s thugs are upset that the citizens they’re attacking and gassing brought protection.
Remember- this is the WORST they could come up – no weapons, no threat of any kind. It’s defensive gear to protect against an attack by Trump’s thug army.
Why do they need to be occupying Portland, again?
Jeffro
Ask ’em if it’ll be okay for President Biden to unleash his goon squads on blessed ‘Second Amendment activists’, or anti-abortion protestors.
Geminid
@Kay: Republican politicians like McSally in AZ and Gardner in CO, among others, have to pick their poison. If they vocally back Trump they lose suburban voters and independents. If they defy trump, there plenty of trump voters who will leave the Senate or House ballot blank. So they squirm, or try to change the subject.
mrmoshpotato
@Kay:
Too bad, so sad! It’s not like there’s another major party they could join!
Oh wait. Then they’d have to admit the Left was right about the Right all along! (h/t driftglass)
Elizabelle
@Kay: Fuck. Trump. Defeat. His. Ass.
Although I like Bill Kristol’s five words better (and whoever thought we’d be saying that?):
Technically Kristol has 6 words, but point made.
Ken
@Gin & Tonic: Skin, kidneys, gonads, retinas, …. There’s a couple pages on silver in The Poisoner’s Handbook.
Kay
@mrmoshpotato:
If you want to get under their skin, two things: federal police patrolling US cities and taking people into custody, skyrocketing debt and deficits.
The only thing that is left of “conservatism” is opposition to abortion. They traded everything else for the douchebag in the White House.
germy
mrmoshpotato
But Never Dumpers told us libtards that their party went to shit in 2016 and history doesn’t exist before then!
Gin & Tonic
So Derek Chauvin, the cop who murdered George Floyd, is a douchebag all the way through. Failed to report $464k of income from his security gig over six years, bought a $100k BMW in Florida and registered it there to avoid Minnesota sales tax, even though it was principally garaged and driven in Minnesota. Minnesota tax authorities are unhappy.
Elizabelle
@Gin & Tonic: I like Minnesota’s strategy. He goes down for tax evasion, even if a jury acquits him of murder.
This could be successfully used by most in Trump’s orbit too, I think.
Kay
@Geminid:
Local Republicans here (every elected official in this county is a Republican) are having a fight over loyalty to Trump. I think Democrats misunderstand what they’re really fighting about, though. The reason the loyal Trumpsters are mad at the people distancing themselves from Trump is not because of Trump. It’s because the loyal Trumpsters are now looking at Trump LOSING, and they are angry at the moderates because the moderates put some distance between themselves and the regime. THAT’S the charge- that the moderates covered their ass and the Trumpsters are exposed.
Trump himself is tangential to this fight. It’s a fight between people who decided to go down with the ship and the people who didn’t. The Trumpsters are demanding all Republicans stay on the sinking ship. That’s the loyalty test.
Kathleen
@Baud: Trump gets bonus points for saying “Cat”.
Elizabelle
@germy: We don’t know when the test was taken, and if it was only once.
And it is Trump who constantly brings it up. LOL.
Kathleen
@Mary G: McConnell is taking credit for PPP and saving the companies of the actors pretending to be constituents in his campaign ads.
Gin & Tonic
@Elizabelle: And as has been said, there is zero probability those were the five words.
Kay
@Geminid:
And that makes some sense politically, right? If you’re a Republican there’s no choice between a pro-Trump Republican and an anti-Trump Republican. As long as they don’t break ranks there’s no advantage to being an anti-Trump Republican. All Republicans are pro-Trump, so GOP voters have to back Trumpsters. They’re all at the same disadvantage.
But if they start to break ranks and Trump continues to lose? Then the anti-Trump Republicans have an advantage. That’s why they have to stick together. They’re handicapped by the douchebag, but they all have the same handicap. If that agreement breaks down then there’s a disadvantage to backing Trump.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Gin & Tonic: he looked around and named the first things he saw and played a little word association: human… man… woman [sees the camera] camera [what kind of camera?] TV…..
(anyone else having to re-enter their nym again?)
mrmoshpotato
@Elizabelle: Fire. Bill. Kristol. Into. Sun.
Roger Moore
@Elizabelle:
They claim the tax evasion investigation goes back to before George Floyd’s murder, so he might have gone down for this regardless.
Ken
@Roger Moore: Next exciting twist: George Floyd was a source for the information that Chauvin was concealing income from the club where they both worked.
Kay
This is what the constant lying does, though, right? The idiot lied about every aspect of this ten minute screen he took so now millions of people believe it’s some kind of hugely precise instrument that is also incredibly broad.
You cannot base anything on what he says. Every part of it is a lie. If Trump were a witness in a court you would have to take apart each one of his sentences and start with definitions of each word. There are people like that and he’s one of them. NO PARTS are true or reliable, including the nouns.
He says “I took a test”. Stop him there. Test. What is the test? THATS how close he must be monitored.
Roger Moore
@Kathleen:
Speaking of McTurtle- and happily acknowledging it’s a very minor point- am I the only one who thinks it’s a terrible look for him to be wearing a Washington Nationals mask? Masks are a great chance for politicians to engage in a bit of unspoken messaging. By choosing the Nationals instead of a sports team that’s relevant to Kentucky, he’s showing he’s an out-of-touch swamp creature rather than someone who cares about his home state.
Geminid
Virginia Republicans had nomination contest for House seats in the 5th and 7th districts. All the candidates portrayed themselves as Trump loyalists. That’s more or less mandatory at this point. The Chamber of Commerce types who used to call the shots are hanging back, hoping not to be too damaged in the train wreck. But the Virginia republican party is a train wreck in progress. From what I’ve heard the Ohio GOP is in a stronger position. But the scandal over the corrupt electric utilities bill passed last year is still unfolding, and it seems like it could take a real toll.
Just Chuck
I’m pretty sure Trump’s test words are: Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car.
mrmoshpotato
@Roger Moore: How about a mask of Putin’s Mitch being beaten with a Louisville Slugger?
SFAW
@Just Chuck:
At least Bucky was, underneath it all, a good guy, and one who fought bravely. The Traitor-in-Chief, not so much.
Kay
This is good news for Cohen but it’s bad news for Americans. It should absolutely terrify people that federal prosecutors are acting as agents to punish Donald Trump’s political enemies.
It’s much. much worse than we thought. Even if we get him out we have a BIG problem, because many of these folks are going to continue to be in our employ. These actions are not compatible with democracy.
We now have a federal police agency acting as Donald Trump’s enforcers along with federal prosecutors. Bad. Really bad. I’m not sure what more people need to become alarmed.
ballerat
@sanjeevs: I think you nailed it. It’s always projection with him.
Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog
@Gin & Tonic:
$464K over 6 years is about $77K annually … from his side hustle? How many hours a week could he possibly have worked an in-person (I assume – anyone know?) security gig, on top of his real job? 20?
Do bouncers typically make $75 an hour?
Unbelievable.
I mean, literally unbelievable.
SFAW
@Kay:
It gives them time to find a good spot for a big fire they can set, but then blame on the Socialists. They also need to translate the Nuremberg Laws into English for Traitor Turtle and Quisling McCarthy to propose.
Yutsano
@Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog: His wife (soon to be ex) was in real estate. There are probably lots of instances where she gave him money for “services” off the books that were still in her ledger. That happens a lot when the RE agent wants to hide from tax agencies how much income they actually have. Then he just doesn’t claim it as there’s no paper trail et voila! Instant small time money laundering!
Elizabelle
@Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog: Yeah, I wondered about that too. Sounded way on the high side.
SFAW
@Kay:
On “On Point” this morning, some DHS latter-day John Yoo was talking about the “National Protective Service,” and how they have the “authority” to pick up people off the street randomly, if those persons were within a mile (so to speak) of “criminal” activity. They don’t, of course, due to a 1979 SCOTUS ruling, but these fascists never let a decision they don’t like get in their way.
I find it interesting that “Schutzstaffel” can be translated as “Protection Squadron.”
Gin & Tonic
@Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog: Re-reading, it’s a little unclear, because I also see they failed to file *any* state returns in three of the years in question.
Gin & Tonic
@SFAW: I’ve also seen commentary that Chad Wolf is not legally Acting Secretary, because you can be “Acting” for only 210 days. Not that anybody is likely to do anything about it, but it would be interesting to see a legal challenge from one of the kidnapped persons alleging that his orders have no basis in law.
Obvs, IANAL.
Yutsano
@Gin & Tonic: 120 days is the norm although you can be re-upped. It’s what they did with my temporary boss when we needed one after the old boss retired.
EDIT: I don’t know if this is different for the political appointees but I wouldn’t think so. My understanding is they still operate under OPM rules.
mrmoshpotato
Haha, Tom didn’t know Chuckles Todd the Assclown was so hated.
Kathleen
Captain C
@Baud:
Trump: M-A-G-A
Moderator: Close enough. You’re obviously smart.
Biden: [solves the problem with a brilliant solution in 3 minutes; Fields Medal Committee jumps for joy at its elegance]
Moderator: Sorry, that took too long. Besides, it doesn’t look right to me, what with all those squiggles. [Narrator: Moderator failed Algebra and never took another math class, also can’t balance his checkbook, ever]
Roger Moore
@Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog:
If he was working the door at a popular club he probably had a good chance of getting “tips” in exchange for letting people jump the line.
Roger Moore
@Captain C:
Nit: though people like talking about it that way, the Fields Medal is not the mathematical equivalent of the Nobel Prize. It’s an early career award that’s limited to people under the age of 40. The Abel Prize is closer to the Nobel. Solving the Navier-Stokes equations would also win one of the Clay Mathematics Institute’s Millennium Prizes. /pedant
Kay
@SFAW:
The true tell is how they make shit up to defend this horseshit.
Trump’s thugs made the situation in Portland WORSE. They harmed. The city. The public. People acting in good faith would GTF out of there on that alone.
They aren’t acting in good faith. They’re throwing all this dust up so no one ever reaches the fact that they are making things worse. Is that the job of Homeland Security? Is that why we pour billions of dollars into that corrupt, wasteful behemoth? So they can make our cities worse? You’re all paying for this. You’re footing the bill for Donald Trump’s employees to work on behalf of Donald Trump and to the detriment of the public who pay them.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Roger Moore: speculating as I’ve never been directly involved in something like this, but I can imagine some kind of contractor’s surcharge (kickback) he got from the club owner or other cops he recruited to work there, percentages of the gate for special occasions– concerts, NYE, St Patricks Day, Mardi Gras. People will pay a lot of money to drink and sweat in the right uncomfortable crowd, I’ve noticed
Cameron
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Maybe he thought they said “a cutie.”
Kay
@SFAW:
There has to be some kind of reckoning if we get out of this. Their loyalty is to Donald Trump and the Trump Family. In no sense do they work for the public. I no longer want to pay the salaries of the people who went along with this.
Cameron
If this isn’t overturned on appeal, we might find out some interesting things were true that we already suspected.
https://www.bradenton.com/news/state/florida/article244432782.html
SFAW
@Kay:
I’ve been talking about a Truth and Retribution Commission for a few years. I think this would fall under their purview.
artem1s
@Hildebrand:
I assume there was a staff person just off camera holding a cue card with pictographs
artem1s
@Baud:
they should be banned over the sexual abuse scandals and treatment of women athletes anyway.
Elizabelle
@Cameron: Excellent news. CNN has it too:
Judge rules to unseal documents in 2015 case against Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged accomplice
Although the young womens’ health records will remain sealed, and their names, if they wish to remain anonymous, will be redacted.
Roger Moore
@artem1s:
If you banned every country that abuses its athletes, there wouldn’t be anyone left. Not that ending the Olympics would necessarily be a bad thing. The whole Olympic movement is deeply corrupt, both in the treatment of the athletes and in the way the higher ups in the IOC and the national committees are siphoning off money for themselves.
J R in WV
@OzarkHillbilly:
Our farmhouse had a really full set of gas pipes running everywhere, because when we bought the farm, the gas was free, because of the functioning wells on the farm. Chicken house had a gas stove, old garage had a gas stove, root cellar had a gas stove.
I put a lot of work into taking all that dangerous shit out and installing central heat, running water, an indoor toilet, etc. House was first built in 1895 according to newspapers used in it’s construction, added to twice, but poor people. It’s gone now, built on 8 rocks, and the upper corner was so close to the ground there was no way to stop the termites and mold.
New owners of the O&G business shut down all the wells where farms had free gas and drilled new wells on property with no residential gas rights. Didn’t make a big difference to us, but the old farmers with $3,500 annual cash income, a new gas bill really hurt!
Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
@Roger Moore:
Nah, my bad. I wrote without having checked around for the news item, and when I did it turned out that Chavin and his soon-to-be-ex wife are said to have understated their joint income (she’s a real estate agent) over six years — in half of which they didn’t file a return at all. So the whole of the amount isn’t derived from his nightclub side gig — just some of it.
James E Powell
@mad citizen:
Because that’s what their bosses want them to be. If they do anything else, they will be replaced.
The Lodger
@Betty Cracker: Those weren’t the actual five words on the test. Trump just said five words that sounded random to him. Does anyone think he’d have remembered the real five words long enough to repeat them to a reporter
ETA: OK so I wasn’t awake at 4:30 am Pacific when everybody else made the same point I did.
MaryRC
@MJS: I agree, he was giving examples of 5 words at random. He doesn’t remember the original 5 words. What’s interesting is that he doesn’t remember the name of the test either, although his doctor told him. I don’t know if this is an example of cognitive decline, or just his extreme indifference and lack of curiosity. He doesn’t need to remember anything, he has people to do that for him.
J R in WV
Actually, I’m sure there are multiple commercial versions of such a test. Wife and I take them every year during our annual complete physical, so our family doc has a baseline to compare subsequent tests results with.
I think I passed, the nurse would have given it away if I flunked. Same nurses all the time, some become quite friendly.
He has lots of really elderly patients.
Warblewarble
Also sprach tRUMP