Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

The willow is too close to the house.

The rest of the comments were smacking Boebert like she was a piñata.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Duck Blogging / Respite Open Thread: You Do The Crime

Respite Open Thread: You Do The Crime

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I TOLD you ducks were shady.

So, of course, this came across my FB feed yesterday:

Respite Open Thread: You Do The Crime

This guy is my new hero:

Mark Luther: For everyone inquiring, these two fellas, now named Denzil and Beau, were owner surrenders that were being rehomed to Oinking Acres Farm Sanctuary here in Indiana by a couple that recognized they were not equipped to care for them properly! With the owner unable to self-transport, I volunteered to go and pick them up! However, they were Jumbo Pekins (size of a Goose), and they wouldn’t fit in any carrier! So we got crafty and made a box seat for to keep them contained for the drive!

https://www.facebook.com/oinkingacres/

Seems he does this tranport a LOT:

Respite Open Thread: You Do The Crime 1

Oinking Acres Farm Rescue doing their best to rescue and educate:

More ducks!!! I got a call today about 3 ducks in need of rescue. We quickly arranged transportation, huge thanks to my friend Mark! He is becoming quite the expert in duck wrangling ? We definitely need more kind hearted, selfless people like Mark in the world.

These big babies were rescued off a neighborhood pond. Domestic ducks CANNOT fly. They are NOT a wild animal. They cannot survive on their own. Please please please stop dumping your ducks!! These guys were lucky enough to have been rescued before they were mauled or eaten by a wild animal.

Another big thank you to my friend Mark who has been transporting ducks for the third night in a row ????

Book ’em, Daffy!

Respite open thread.

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  2. 2.

    WereBear

    Book ’em, Daffy!

    LOL!

    One of the great things since I started rescuing cats is the explosion of support and the expansion of places where we can place the rescued animals.

  3. 3.

    Sasha

    Everyone thinks they’re such sweet little things

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Soft downy feathers and nice little wings

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    But there’s a poison I’d like to administer,
    You think they’re cuddly but I think they’re sinister.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    What are they doing at night in the park?

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Think of them waddling about in the dark.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Sneering and whispering and stealing your cars,
    Reading pornography, smoking cigars.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Nasty and small undeserving of life.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    They smirk at your hairstyle and sleep with your wife.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Dressed in black jackets and horrible shoes,
    Getting divorces and turning to booze.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Forcing old ladies to throw them some bread.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Who could deny they’d be better off dead?

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

    Look closer and you may recoil in surprise,
    At web-footed fascists with mad little eyes.

    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
    Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!

  6. 6.

    germy

    I find that a duck’s opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That’s the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I’d say, “Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!”  (Mitch Hedberg)

  10. 10.

    allium

    @germy: “Let me have the steak fajita sub, and don’t bother ringing it up – it’s for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!”

  13. 13.

    J R in WV

    When we were on a road trip to Asheville NC, and cruising on the Blue Ridge Parkway, we spent several hours in a crafts museum right on the Parkway.

    When we came out, we were very surprised to see a brand new red Mustang parked in the shade, with the windows cracked way down, full of a flock of big chickens. Really big rooster was clear up on the console between the front seats, most of the yard birds were in the back seat, which was kinda protected by towels or blankets.

    Yes, it was a chicken rescue, taking a short break at the museum… I hope  the birds didn’t wreck the interior of the very nice ‘Tang!

  14. 14.

    Skepticat

    Rescuing Royal Bahamian potcake puppies and doing a trap-neuter-release-pamper program for free-range cats have given me a deep appreciation for these heroes. Doubt I can find a duck-wrangling group in the Bahamas, but it looks like a good activity.

  15. 15.

    debbie

    I hope this doesn’t violate the rules, but “I will cut you if you muddy this thread” has to become a rotating tag.

  16. 16.

    Quiltingfool

    Speaking of birds in cars; one day I was leaving the grocery store and I could hear a chicken.  So, I looked around the parking lot thinking a chicken was under a car, but no.  This chicken was in a car (not a nice one, but okay), just roaming around and “talking.”  The chicken looked fine, and as a bonus, there was an egg in the ash tray!  I have raised chickens; all I could think was, “Whoo boy, gonna be some chicken doody in that car!”

    Another animal in car story – leaving Walmart, walked by an old truck, and saw a full grown (big) goat in the cab.  The kicker was that the goat was wearing a pink rhinestone collar.  The goat looked pretty happy.    It was strange, but, who am I to judge?  Not my truck, not my goat, lol!

  18. 18.

    A Ghost to Most

    Having been bitten several times by geese as a kid, though not ducks, I always carry a bit of malice towards geese, especially when I still golfed.

  19. 19.

    Quiltingfool

    This is OT:  I was looking at Twitter and saw a picture of the WH rose garden that Mrs. Ferret-headed Shitgibbon commissioned.  Seemed rather dull to me, will need our Garden Juicers to wade in so I can check my bias.  As quilting is in my wheelhouse, the garden rather resembled some borders I have put on quilts, only my quilt borders have more color and pizazz, frankly.  Seems that the Missus has a problem with color…unless it is white.  (double entendre?  You be the judge…) Heh.

  24. 24.

    germy

    An old Buddy Hackett joke:

    A hunter shoots a duck. He and his dog run off to retrieve it. Finds the duck just inside a farmer’s field, farmer standing there chewing hay looking at it. Hunter says “Excuse me, that’s my duck, I just shot it.” Farmer says, “Sorry, friend, it’s inside my fence line so it’s MY duck.” After some bickering, the farmer suggests a groin kicking contest for ownership of the duck. Hunter agrees, and steels himself for the first blow. Farmer draws back a leg and heaves hunter in the groin so hard the hunter drops like a stone, tears in his eyes, wind driven from him. After five minutes the hunter manages to haul himself to his feet and mutters, “okay, now it’s my turn.” Farmer says, “Nah. Keep the duck.”

  29. 29.

    CaseyL

    Many of you probably know I watch YouTube instead of TV, and regularly fall down rabbit holes exploring new cultures and subcultures, the most recent being Full Time RVers.

    Well, I found another minor obsession: homesteading farmers. Particularly, a very nice couple who relocated from city life to rural Vermont, where they have a waterfowl farm: Gold Shaw Farm.

    Lots of ducks and geese, and a few chickens (Morgan, the owner, found out the hard way that he is allergic to duck eggs, so if he wanted eggs, he had to raise some chickens). Also two barn cats and a Livestock Guardian dog.

    Morgan is an excellent story teller, happy to discuss his mistakes as well as his triumphs. As much as he values and appreciates his animals, his wife Allison is the one who goes all melty for them, for instance hand-nursing an injured hen (who, alas, did not survive) and cuddling the newly-hatched ducklings and chicks.

    They also make a point of highlighting their neighbors and other homesteading farmers, all across the country, including one fellow who raises Scottish Highland cattle.

    I love ducks, and every so often think about having some. And then I think maybe I’d like some goats, too; maybe the little dwarf goats who are incredibly cute. And maybe some rescued horses? … Then I pull myself back to reality. I’m single, nearing retirement age, and not a handyperson by any stretch.

    But it is nice to dream!

  31. 31.

    Kent

    Long ago my wife and I were out walking the wetland trails around Juneau one fall with our then 3-year old daughter.  We ran across some duck hunters on the trail and our daughter asked them what they were doing.

    “Duck hunting!” was the answer.

    You mean Jack, Kack, Lack, Mack, Nack, Ouack, Pack, & Quack!?!? shouted our horrified daughter.

    Those two poor hunters didn’t know how to respond.  Hah!

  35. 35.

    Eunicecycle

    @Eunicecycle: I did find a closer picture and there are indeed roses there. But they are all soft colors so they don’t show up well. I also found out it was paid for with private donations. At least no tax payer dollars paid for it.

  36. 36.

    trollhattan

    Top pic will endure. Ducks manage to look pleased with themselves, even when being hauled off to the hoosgow.
    My baby’s got the most deplorable taste,
    But her biggest mistake
    Is hanging over the fireplace.
    She’s got ducks, ducks on the wall,
    Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall.
    My lady’s got a sort of strange fascination,
    An obsessive fixation
    For cheap decorations
    She’s got ducks, ducks on the wall.
    Ducks, ducks, hanging on the wall.
    Wo-wo-wo I love her so but if she doesn’t move the ducks,
    I think my mind is gonna go.
    Ducks ducks on the wall.
    Ducks ducks, hanging on the wall.

  38. 38.

    Sloane Peterson's knee therapist

    Some years ago down by our unpopulated river my Lab, Skip, spotted a white duck and a white goose floating down the river together. They were obviously breakouts from someone’s poultry yard somewhere upstream. Well, a Lab being a Lab, Skip dove into the river and swam upstream after them. The goose flew away from Skip about 50 yards downstream to a large and deep swimming hole area and just waited there. As Skip neared the remaining duck the duck dove under the water. Skip became very confused. Couldn’t figure out where the duck went. Sure enough, about a minute later, up pops the duck right there where the goose waited and the two of them resumed their pleasant adventure of freedom together floating downstream.
    Skip finally gave up, came back into shore and we went home.

  42. 42.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Quiltingfool: She ripped out the Crabapple trees that were planted by Jackie Kennedy, way to shit on a legacy.  The result is the epitome of “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot”.  It is basically vandalism.

  43. 43.

    Alex

    I hear the Untitled Goose Game is getting a free update to simultaneous two player next month— maybe they were practicing!

  44. 44.

    Miki

    Some neighbors across the street and down the alley have a couple of Pekins, a mallard, at least 4 red chickens, and a black chicken. (St. Paul allows chickens, but not roosters.) It used to be I would hear them occasionally, but recently  they’ve figured out how to liberate themselves, and the flock itself has appeared waddling down the alley. A young man usually comes after them and herds them home with assistance from a mini dachshund.

    Another neighbor has a pot-bellied pig that she walks with her puggle.

    East Side Pride.

  45. 45.

    The Moar You Know

    I was looking at Twitter and saw a picture of the WH rose garden that Mrs. Ferret-headed Shitgibbon commissioned.  Seemed rather dull to me, will need our Garden Juicers to wade in so I can check my bias. 

    @Quiltingfool:  That looks like garbage.  Amazing how Clinton used to get the hot “white trash in the White House” takes for changing nothing at all, while these people, who manage to take the work of skilled craftsmen and make everything they do look like it came out a WalMart, get crickets.

  46. 46.

    Sab

    My dad’s nursing home has a big pond with a path around it and a little bridge, and ducks. Before Covid I used to wheel him around it to see the ducks. He just got upgraded from memory care to assisted living, so now his window overlooks the duck pond.

    I called them to ask of I was allowed to stop by, feed the ducks kale and wave at Dad. They said no, since they feed the ducks. And they have a little duck house they get locked up in every night. I had no idea. I just took the ducks for granted.

  48. 48.

    MagdaInBlack

    @The Moar You Know:

    You know, that’s pretty much what I was thinking of it. There is a certain type that tears out beautiful trees and landscaping and they are that type.

    Granted, I wouldn’t like anything she did, but still, it’s not appealing.

  50. 50.

    mrmoshpotato

    @germy: Still hideous.

    @Steeplejack (phone): Ok then. I say we start a GoFundMe to “renovate” the White House lawn so it reads “Trumps are Soviet shitpile traitorous trash.”

    Also, I wonder what laws were broken for accepting private donations for this color palette of “Blah.”

  51. 51.

    Sab

    @Quiltingfool: White flower gardens are really nice for dawn and dusk and after dark. Perfect for people who have day jobs and only see the yard before and after work. Pretty boring mid-day.

    Current FLOTUS does like a bland palette.

  55. 55.

    Redshift

    When I first got involved in rabbit rescue, the big public-information campaign (other than “don’t buy baby bunnies for kids at Easter”) was about how domestic rabbits don’t know how to survive in the wild, because idiots would dump them assuming that because there are wild rabbits, their rabbit would be fine. I hadn’t really thought about the same being true of ducks.

  56. 56.

    Ohio Mom

    Well of all the vandalism committed by the Trumps, correcting what Melania did to the Rose Garden will be the simpliest to accomplish.

    That’s my half-full comment for today.

  58. 58.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @The Moar You Know:

    Amazing how Clinton used to get the hot “white trash in the White House” takes for changing nothing at all, while these people, who manage to take the work of skilled craftsmen and make everything they do look like it came out a WalMart, get crickets.

    The Clintons were viewed as hicks from Arkansas, the Trumps are(were) from New York.

  60. 60.

    Sab

    @mrmoshpotato: Does she ever wear bright clothes?

    Michelle Obama, the Harvard lawyer, has exqusite taste. Melania, who started archotecture school, and later had a jewelry line, has meh taste. Go figure.

  62. 62.

    MagdaInBlack

    @Sab:

    Keep in mind, those trees were blocking us from viewing his orangeness as he parades by.

    I notice they added a sidewalk, easier for twinkletoes to walk on, I suppose.

  65. 65.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Sab: Glowing endorsement. “Melanie Dump’s “renovations” look like the garden was overrun by animals.” ?

  66. 66.

    Ken

    @A Ghost to Most: My malice toward geese is because of the time a Canada goose (Branta canadensis, not the clothing line) took off and flew right into the side of my car, breaking the side mirror and denting the door panel.  The only humor was that the insurance adjuster didn’t doubt me at all, since this apparently happens often.

  67. 67.

    Ken

    @CaseyL: a very nice couple who relocated from city life to rural Vermont

    Just last week for the first time in over fifty years I watched an episode of Green Acres.  My younger self had no appreciation for how surreal that show was.

  68. 68.

    Ken

    @mrmoshpotato: Why do I have a feeling Jackie’s trees went straight into the woodchipper?

    I expect the trees, roses, and everything else that was removed will show up either at Mar-A-Lago or on eBay.

  69. 69.

    Ken

    @dr. bloor: Duck Life. Elect Biden, and these monsters are going to invade the suburbs, mom.

    And if we defund the police, who’s going to capture and transport them?

  71. 71.

    WaterGirl

    @Sab: I love white in the garden for contrast, and it is stunning at dusk.  But contrast requires, you know, other colors.  Someone forgot to tell Melanie.

  72. 72.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @germy: There’s a funny passage in “Good Omens” about the ducks in some London park where the only visitors are spies feeding the ducks and pretending to be visitors, and the ducks prefer some countries’ spies over others because of the quality of the treats they bring.

    Too lazy to find my copy and get the exact quote.

  77. 77.

    oldster

    All cops are mallards?

    All cops are bustards?

     

    I’m pretty sure there’s a joke in the neighborhood, but I’m damned if I can find it.

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