SiubhanDuinne recently came across an article which said this:
“Would it be too much to pray for a day when the Bible gets a ‘Book of Trump,’ much like it has a ‘Book of Esther’ celebrating the deliverance of the Jews from ancient Persia?” Miriam Adelson wrote in a column published July 6 in the Las Vegas Review-Journal, a newspaper owned by the Adelsons.
THE BOOK OF TRUMP
Chapter One
1 In the beginning was the Drumpf. And the Drumpf was called Friedrich. And in those days, Friedrich did dwell in the Kingdom which men called Bavaria.
2 And emissaries from the Kingdom of Bavaria came to him, and said, Friedrich of Drumpf, you shall fight for Bavaria; and for Bavaria shall you be a soldier; and for Bavaria mayhap you will die.
3 And Friedrich said, Nay, nay, not so but far otherwise. And he said, I shall not fight and die for this Kingdom of Bavaria, but shall travel to a distant land, beyond the land men call Canada, and there shall I seek my fortune.
4 So Friedrich of the Tribe of Drumpf journeyed for forty days and forty nights, and his journeying did take him to the territory known as Yukon.
5 And Friedrich fell upon his knees, and blest the land which was Yukon. And lo, he gazed upon the men of many strange tribes, who sought gold there, and he spake these words:
6 Yea verily these are men of lustiness, and these lusty men do wish for a place to sleep, and a meal to eat, and a fine woman to share bed and board.
7 And he raised them a house, in the Land of Yukon. And he gave name to the house, and the name of the house was Bordello. And he procured many fine women to warm the beds of the prospectors of gold.
8 Men do say that Friedrich of the Tribe of Drumpf was possessed of a cat, and the name of the cat was also called Bordello. 9 And lo, men said, What is this thing, that both a house and a cat are called Bordello? And how may we know the one from the other?
10 And from henceforth unto all generations, the house that Friedrich built in the Land of Yukon has been called Cat House, yea even until the fourth generation.
11 And the Cat House did make Friedrich a wealthy man; and he journeyed eastward for many days and nights until he came to the Land of New York, called Queens, and he married a woman named Elizabeth, and begat a son, Frederick; and Friedrich did perish of a plague brought from Spain.
12 And his son Frederick of the Tribe of Trump grew to manhood and built a mighty city, and it was a city of what men call Apartments. And he was a builder of great determination, and on every seventh day, he made a visitation upon each Apartment; and he spake unto each resident, saying, Render unto Frederick that which is Frederick’s, and render unto Trump that which is Trump’s.
13 Now it came to pass in those days that Frederick of the House of Trump did beget three sons and two daughters upon his espoused wife Mary Anne, of the land of the Scots.
14 And the daughters were named Maryanne (after the manner of her mother), and Elizabeth (after the manner of her grandmother).
15 And the sons were named Frederick the Younger, and Donald, and Robert.
16 And these sons and daughters grew to manhood and womanhood, and great riches were theirs; but the sons and daughters of Trump did argue and fight amongst themselves; and as the years passed they were rent asunder; and the family of Trump was cleft in twain.
17 Now Maryanne the elder daughter was a mighty judge. But lo, near the close of her days, after she had attained her fourscore years, she spake when she ought not to have spoken, and she spake many words that she ought not to have said; and there was great consternation. 18 And the words that she spake, she said unto her niece, the daughter of Frederick the Younger, named Mary; though she knew not that Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.
19 And of Elizabeth her sister, men know little; though they do seek knowledge of her.
20 And the youngest son of the House of Trump, named Robert, was a loyal man but a weak man; and Robert did die, and was soon forgotten.
21 But the eldest brother, named Frederick the Younger, was visited by a dream as he slept; and this dream came to him also when he woke; and he spake, saying, What manner of dream is this?
22 For behold, I was seated in a smooth machine of silver, with wings on each side, and a tail. And in the dream, I did touch a wheel, which was inside of the silver machine, and at my touch the machine did move.
23 And the machine and I rose as one into the sky, and were as the birds of the air. And behold, it was good.
24 And Frederick the Younger did fly in silver machines; and the dream was manifested; and Frederick the Younger was content.
25 But Frederick his father and Donald his brother laughed at him; and they mocked him; and his dream became as ashes; and bitter were his thoughts.
26 And Frederick the Younger did thereupon taste of the grape, and he did taste of the grain; and the grape and the grain overmastered him, and there was no health in him; 27 and his spirit departed him, and he did die.
Here Endeth Chapter One.
WaterGirl
Earlier today,Subaru Diane was chagrined that she had not thought of calling a group of Trump supporters a Klandemic.
mrmoshpotato wondered what we are paying her for, if not to come up with things like that.
This is what we’re paying her for!
WaterGirl
Chapters 2-5 will be up over the next 4 days at ~ 8pm.
Baud
Damn. SiubhanDuinne is a prophet.
docNC
I’m sure this is great. I’m too exhausted to read it all.
JPL
Nightmares were made from this.
Baud
@WaterGirl: Holy cow!
WaterGirl
@docNC: That’s okay. If you’re not exhausted tomorrow night, you can click on “The Book of Trump” category at the top of the post, and you can read both of them then.
WaterGirl
@Baud:
You say that like you didn’t know that already!
Miss Bianca
So, do we now have the Apostle Subaru Diane? : )
dmsilev
@Baud:
She predicted that you would say that.
Jerzy Russian
This is brilliant.
Also, too: what the fuck is going on inside the “minds” of the evangelicals out there?
Omnes Omnibus
There is a non-remote possibility that this is from an actual Satanic Bible.
Jay
@Miss Bianca:
the Book of Revelations was not written by Apostles. Apostles after all were acolytes and salespersons for the religion.
what what have here is dark soothsaying and dark snark.
japa21
Glad you, or John, have kept her on retainer all these years. Good stuff.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus: Heresy!
Mike in NC
The words “Trump” and “book” can rarely be found in the same sentence since he reads nothing, especially the daily intel briefings.
WaterGirl
@Jay: Wait til thou doth readeth Chapter Two! Much fun.
Jon Marcus
Preach, sister!
dmsilev
@Omnes Omnibus: Satan has higher standards for his pawns.
Jay
@WaterGirl:
looking forward to it.
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus:
Yeah, one wouldn’t this the “Good Book.”
OMG, maybe this is what’s in the Bible if you hold it upside outside a church!
Baud
@dmsilev:
I hear that Satan has a rigorous ramp test.
mrmoshpotato
@WaterGirl: Wait. What? You’re paying her? I. Was. Joking!
?
Ken
Does Judaism have a mechanism for excommunication? Other than all the little old ladies tsking and turning their backs when a shonda fur die goyim walks in the room.
Miss Bianca
@Jay: Last I checked, the Apostle John of Patmos is, in fact, the accepted author of the Book of Revelations.
So, not sure what your point is. But it’s not exactly worth pursuing.
Benw
Now the people of Balloon Juice gazed upon the words of the prophet SubaruDiane, and they saw that the words of the prophet SubianDionne were good, and their visages were cleared by the words of the prophet SubiunneDiunn, and their hearts were opened by the words of the prophet SarahDysonne, and they did correct multitudes of typographical errors in their minds and comments.
LesGS
This is marvelous!
And now I want to name my next cat Bordello…
WaterGirl
@mrmoshpotato: I grew up in Chicago, where if you won the call-in whatever you won “a hearty handshake and pat on the back”. So sure, if we’re speaking loosely, we’re paying her. :-)
SiubhanDuinne
@Benw:
LOL
Keith P.
Isn’t it sacrilegious to suggest that the Bible isn’t complete?
Baud
@Benw:
The BJ Trinity!
dmsilev
@Ken: You know the famous statement “I’m not a member of any organized political party; I’m a Democrat”? Judaism is like that, but for religions. There’s not exactly a Pope with formal kicking-out authority.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Who gets to be the ghost for Halloween?
Baud
@Keith P.:
It’s pretty clear that Jesus isn’t much of an “enforcer.”
WaterGirl
@Baud: Where’s our mob enforcer? :: looks around ::
mrmoshpotato
@WaterGirl: Ok. Chapter 1 was quite good.
Baud
@WaterGirl:
There were three nyms in the comment I linked to. Pick one.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
he said this in the same speech (or later on):
So…everybody remember Trump’s “very fine people” comments after Charlottesville? Got into a pissing match on Tumblr with some right-wingers and found to my surprise that he said this in the same speech (or later on):
They said I had “misquoted” him and cited the above as evidence. As if that made the equivocation okay
The person I was debating also made a “shot through the heart and you’re to blame” meme about one of the shot Kenosha protesters. This is the AnCap idiot I’ve talked about before. I reported it.
Jay
@Miss Bianca:
Interesting, John who might have written Revelations and may or may not have been an Apostle.
I was always taught that the only Apostles were the original 12. Anyone who took the nym afterwards, were posers.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Too bad we can’t get someone like Sarah Cooper to make a video of her reading this using her Trump voice. Inclusion of this into the bible would get me into a church at least one time just to hear it read out loud…lol!
Benw
@SiubhanDuinne: :)
@Baud: Baud, the Duinne, and the Holy Cole?
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@WaterGirl: Hey, she’s featured in a front-page post on an almost top-10000 blog. That’s about as high an honor as you can get.
Or you could give her a BJ Associate Producer credit.
trollhattan
This gets all the upvotes, for ever and ever, selah.
mrmoshpotato
@WaterGirl: Haha
Elizabelle
Subaru Diane! Excellent.
Although I was a little concerned where the cat named Bordello was going …
Jay
@Benw:
what, no Willow????????
WaterGirl
So who thinks this is what the crazy lady married to the rich guy had in mind?
Alison Rose
I am shooketh.
This is fucking brilliant.
Jay
@Elizabelle:
up onto the counter to push stuff off, of course.
WaterGirl
@Baud: I only saw two.
Avalune
Looooool. Glad I decided to check in this evening.
mrmoshpotato
@Odie Hugh Manatee:
Did she actually make up a voice for Dump now? I’ve only seen her lip syncing his deranged horseshit.
WaterGirl
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: Good one.
Baud
@WaterGirl:
Actually, four.
Ken
@Jay: Do you mean Dark Willow? She was quite a powerful entity.
WaterGirl
@trollhattan: I was expecting an “amen” at the end of that.
Baud
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
He’s had plenty of opportunities to clarify his stance. Including today.
WaterGirl
@mrmoshpotato: We need the other guy who does the voice. He’s quite good.
Redshift
So, check me on this, there Adelsons are still Jewish, right? It really highlights the cult nature of conservative evangelicals that someone who is not a member of their religion could suggest amending their holy book and presume (correctly) that this would appeal to them. I guess if you’re willing to sell out your own religion to their apocalyptic vision, it gets you a lot of cred.
WaterGirl
@Baud: My mistake, I thought some of those were the same person. But maybe that’s how it works with the trinity. Catholic grade school was a long time ago.
Jay
@Ken:
nope, The Willow Too Close To The House, to use her full name.
wvng
This is marvelous. I do hope, at some point in the book of Trump, we will learn more about Fiederich dying in a pandemic.
SiubhanDuinne
@WaterGirl:
I was actually thinking of sending it to her. But she’s nutty enough to want to hurt me, and rich enough to carry it out, so I decided against it.
Benw
@Jay: didn’t fit the rhyme scheme?
Actually I don’t know this one, sorry! :(
Roger Moore
@Mike in NC:
But he has paid ghostwriters to write books under his name.
SiubhanDuinne
@wvng:
Maybe in the Revised Standard Version.
WaterGirl
@Redshift: Personally, I thought her suggestion was bonkers.
Cameron
What kind of religion is this? Where’s the pool boy?
WaterGirl
@SiubhanDuinne: Earlier today, I thought for half a second that maybe you should send it to her and then immediately thought, no. Bad idea. It might encourage her to try to have someone do it for reals.
Jay
@Benw:
the Holy Trinity here is Naked Mopping, Good Mustard and The Willow Is Too Close To The House.
prostratedragon
Glad we are that her heart hath indited this great news. When come the musicians, that we shall declaim it with timbrel and harp?
WaterGirl
@wvng: I can’t wait to hear how the story of the Donald ends. Hoping it ends relatively soon.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Baud:
None of that mattered to the AnCap or his followers. He saw nothing wrong with what Trump said (though he claims to not be a Trump supporter).
When called out on the disgusting meme, this is how he characterized what happened in Kenosha:
It was very discouraging, I guess. They made me feel like I was crazy because they live in an alternate reality and even said as much about me
When reblogging somebody else, this is what the AnCap said:
“Unquestioning obedience to the dogmatic tenets of the ideology and universal subjugation to state power.”
I mean, WTF? I naturally reacted angrily and told him to fuck off. That he didn’t know what I actually believe in and asked who fuck he thought he was.
They thought they had “pegged me” correctly.
Completely disingenuous asshole
Jay
@Cameron:
you only get St. John Naked Mopping, and you will like it.
Benw
@Jay: ooh that Willow! I got as far as the classic movie starring Warwick Davis and then blanked out
Peale
@Jay: The Apostles were also those who were present at the Great Commission when Jesus preached post resurrection. 70 in total. Paul gets in somehow, because he received teachings directly from his vision of Jesus. Who thought it was so important that he also sent Ananias to teach him. The Apostles in general are those who received their instruction from the source.
bucachon
Bravo! So great. Looking forward to the next chapters!
zhena gogolia
Hilarious, SD!
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
OT – Tom Wine, the Louisville prosecutor who recused himself from the Breonna Taylor shooting says that the plea offer to Glover (the dealer) that offered him leniency in exchange for naming Taylor as a co-conspirator was just a part of negotiation but never actually offered. Local bar is enraged at the thoughtlessness and poor judgment displayed by that.
CaseyL
Lovely archaic way of saying “recorded every word and thought about writing a book.”
This is really good. Chapter 2 should be *lit*.
zhena gogolia
@mrmoshpotato:
She only lip syncs. She does not do an impression of Trump. Amazing how many people don’t get this.
Benw
@WaterGirl: the Klandemic chapter is going to be more depressing than the Book of Job!
Baud
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
Perhaps the kid should have stayed home with his loaded gun.
WaterGirl
@CaseyL: You are correct, madam. Chapter Two is most definitely lit.
mrmoshpotato
Ummm……
zhena gogolia
@WaterGirl:
My hero, J.-L. Cauvin!
WaterGirl
@zhena gogolia: The other guy whose name I don’t know does an impression of Trump, plus he writes his own material, which is very Trump-like.
Baud
@Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:
What kind of negotiation doesn’t involve offers?
Dahlia
@Ken: Yes there is one, sort of.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herem_(censure)
WaterGirl
@Benw: Living it is certainly quite depressing at times.
Ken
prostratedragon gave away the ending, just above your comment: Tumbrels.
EDIT: I’m being informed I misread his comment, but I like my version better.
Redshift
@WaterGirl: Well, sure, it’s bonkers no matter who suggested it. But it seems especially bonkers for someone who’s not even Christian to suggest it.
scav
Um, doesn’t believing there are prophets and bible chapters after those of Jesus necessarily make those Evangelical (Post-) Christians sort of Muslimish?
WaterGirl
@zhena gogolia: Yes! I should learn his name.
Redshift
Particularly since she’s clearly suggesting adding a book to the Old Testament.
MoxieM
Brilliant!! Only a single, teeny-tiny nit to pick: Friedrich of Drumpf came from Bavaria (Rhineland-Palatinate), not Prussia. No way that dude was a Prussian. I say that as a descendant of not-Prussians myself (phew.) (well, one Junker step dad, but. he’s dead Jim.)
Redshift
@scav: or Mormon.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Baud:
Ken
@mrmoshpotato: Surprisingly (because it’s Trump) that’s actually normal procedure. It’s a short-term use of the 25th Amendment, I think, with the President authorizing the VP to act as President during the medical procedure.
Danielx
@dmsilev:
So let it be written, so let it be done.
WaterGirl
@zhena gogolia: I assume all the players he “randomly” listed were the only white basketball players?
zhena gogolia
@WaterGirl:
J.-L. Cauvin. Not only does he write his own material, he ad libs it. He has gotten inside the mind of Trump. It is uncanny. He can also do a great Pence imitation, and he did a 5-second Michael Cohen impression that never fails to crack me up, I’ve watched it 1000 times. I do not understand why he doesn’t get any of the attention (and lucrative deals) that Sarah Cooper has gotten. She’s amusing, but he is a genius. I think people don’t realize he’s a person of color (Haitian-Irish-American), so they don’t get the poignancy of what he’s doing.
WaterGirl
@Baud: “What if we offered you…?” Hypothetical offers, maybe?
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Baud:
Oh, they have a response to that too: he was a hero! He was there just protecting people and property because the authorities didn’t care enough to do so, so vigilantism was necessary! Oh and one of the victims was a pedophile so it’s ok and really they were attacking Rittenhouse so it was actually self-defense!
Any argument you can think of they’ve already pooh-poohed
WaterGirl
@Redshift: I never made it past off-the-chart bonkers, but you are quite correct.
mrmoshpotato
@zhena gogolia: I figured. That’s why I was thrown for a loop.
Benw
@WaterGirl: ooof yeah. That makes me wonder: what’s the best bible chapter to live through? I’m going with Song of Songs
zhena gogolia
@WaterGirl:
I assume so, but I only know Larry Bird.
He’s something of a fanatic sports type, so I don’t always get all his jokes.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Ken: They used that when the President is under general anesthesia not just going for a checkup.
WaterGirl
@zhena gogolia: I don’t understand it either. I can’t watch Sarah Cooper.
zhena gogolia
@WaterGirl:
The first two or three were funny, but it got kind of repetitive.
WaterGirl
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Who was it who said to one of his constituents that he might as well be arguing with a table?
What he said. You can’t understand their twisted logic, you’ll never convince them. It’s a waste of time.
mrmoshpotato
@Baud:
The kind that start (and end) with you flipping over the table and storming out, because you’re a fucking orange assclown who knows his dad was right about you being a moron.
raven
@WaterGirl: Barney Frank
zhena gogolia
@WaterGirl:
Barney Frank.
Miss Bianca
@WaterGirl:
Not me, but I don’t think that should stop you from sending it to her with that question in mind
@SiubhanDuinne: Damn, and here I am thinking you ought to go for it!
trollhattan
@Mike in NC:
“Throw the book at this orange perp, Trump.”
TS (the original)
@mrmoshpotato: Rachel is talking about it
Ruckus
I can’t tell if this is the best or worst version of the bible that I’ve read.
Best because it’s true. And funny, and wonderful.
Worst because, well it’s true. And fills you with remorse in that you have lived to see the tale unfolding to it’s illogical conclusion.
zhena gogolia
@WaterGirl:
And since we’re doing Bible study, he did a week of Trump Bible study on YouTube that was hilarious:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o43QUDV3MkE
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
Snickering loudly.
Baud
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
Not trying to convince them. But if the protestors are the heros, then he’s the villain.
SiubhanDuinne
@MoxieM:
You know, I meant to check that out but neglected to do so when it crossed my mind, and then just forgot about it. Consider it corrected; future editions will say Bavaria.
Elizabelle
@SiubhanDuinne: Does the Las Vegas Review-Journal have a local competitor?
Why yes, it does. The Las Vegas Sun. It is owned by the Greenspun family, and claims it is wholly independent of the Adelsons’ paper — separate editorial staff and content — even though they are printed and distributed in a joint operating agreement.
You have your answer.
Roger Moore
@Benw:
To be pedantic, the Song of Songs is a book, not a chapter. If you’re going to limit it to a single chapter, I might like to live through Genesis 5, since it would mean I got to live to be about 1500 years old.
mrmoshpotato
Good point.
catclub
Various sects have decided there will be no more revelation of God’s Word via books of some new Bible. Also, large denominations often say things like ‘The bible contains all that is necessary for salvation.’
TS (the original)
@TS (the original):
Tried to edit – too late
This is all about a book from a NYT reporter who should have reported what he knew at the time – rather, he kept his inside information to make money from a book. They are trump’s best helpers.
Roger Moore
@TS (the original):
I don’t understand why the Times lets them get away with this stuff. If they get something really newsworthy like this, it should go into the paper, not into their own book.
Mallard Filmore
@Baud: quoted this
and said this: “What kind of negotiation doesn’t involve offers?”
Can one of you criminal lawyer types please explain how this non-offer came into the position of the defense lawyer?
Miss Bianca
@WaterGirl:
Now, *that* might be getting into Revelations territory.
Maybe the Apostle SubaruDiane of Georgia could sketch us a little scene, a la the death of Antichrist at the hands of the Archangel Michael in The Coming of Antichrist:
Antechriste, nowe ys common this daye.
Reigne no lenger nowe thou maye.
Hee that hath led thee alwaye,
nowe him thou must goe to.
Benw
@Roger Moore: sure. The book of Genesis (or most chapters within) would be grand, intense, and awe inspiring, but Song of Songs has kissing ;)
Jay
@Baud:
living on stolen lands, cleared with genocide, in an economy built by the stolen labour of stolen people,…….
what’s a little looting compared to that?
Ever read Disaster Capitalism?
If it was BlackBlock LLC doing it, they would be fine with it.
Enzymer
@MoxieM: Thanks, I was going to point this out, but felt bad because it is a minor flaw in a gorgeous piece.
Roger Moore
@Benw:
Genesis 5 has lots of begetting.
scav
@Benw: There are those chapters with absolutely nothing but begats no? — someone’s got to do all the begetting.
JCJ
@Baud: Who is this Sarah? Is this Sarah, Proud and Tall?
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Roger Moore: Kay has said that quite often. What is the FTFNYT paying them for if the best stuff ends up in a book and not the FTFNYT.
Miss Bianca
@WaterGirl: “having a conversation with you is like arguing with a dining room table.”
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Baud:
I saw this in another thread in response to the “he shouldn’t have been there in the first place”:
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@WaterGirl:
I get that. Sometimes I just can’t help myself
piratedan
wonder if we can call the apostles the same names as the lectroids from Planet 10 in the Buckaroo Banzai movie, because I think it would be neat to have Apostles named John Smallberries, John YaYa and John Bigbootie….
Jay
@Benw:
@Roger Moore:
@scav:
Sadly, all the begetting is left to the imagination,…..
Miss Bianca
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): He killed people. In the name of “defending private property” that wasn’t his. That’s some moral compass they’ve got, these folks. Not sure it’s worth making the asshats go even further in defense of that BS.
prostratedragon
@Benw:
Maybe. And quite a contrast to this thread. The music for this should include bass kazoos or something.
Baud
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
Right. All their theories depend on first correctly identifying the good guys and the bad guys. Having identified him as a good guy, it becomes the bad guys’ responsibility to avoid getting shot by him.
Ruckus
@mrmoshpotato:
I’ve never had any procedure during a physical, in my entire life, including a very, very complete one that I had upon entering the VA system, which took most of a day, that required any kind of being out. I’ve had a colonoscopy that I was put out for and an angiogram which I wasn’t put out for. Otherwise it was only actual operations.
So I’m wondering about this. Something smells a lot worse than fishy.
SiubhanDuinne
@Miss Bianca:
Wow! Where’d you find that? Wonderful!
ETA: Has the flavour of a mediæval carol.
Jay
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
there is a full wingnut whurlitzer cranked up to make the kid a martyr du jour. A fire hose of disinfo and circular arguments.
sadly, Y’all Quida will drop him like a hot potato and pretend he never existed, just like countless others.
What these people are showing you, is who they are.
Fuckin Nazis.
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
@Baud:
It is an amazing puzzlement. The questions bouncing all over the city among lawyers town are:
1. Whose idea was this in the first place. Follow that with how it made it to upper echelons of the Commonwealth Attorney’s office.
2. What processes entered the decision to ask it on a prosecutorial level.
3. What are the moral and ethical implications of smearing a dead woman with a family pursuing a wrongful death claim.
4. How thoughtless it is to invite mass feelings of rage on the local, national and international stage by doing something so unnecessary, so petty.
randy
The gossipy soap opera of the Bible begins in Genesis and rarely lets up.
prostratedragon
From Finian’s Rainbow,
SiubhanDuinne
My thanks to all of you for your kind comments and welcome corrections and suggestions. And special thanks to WaterGirl for her enthusiasm and encouragement and setting up the posting schedule. I hope you all enjoy the remaining chapters this week.
BruceFromOhio
@Miss Bianca: I thought it was spelled with two n’s. Do I get kicked out of Valhalla now?
Odie Hugh Manatee
@mrmoshpotato:
@zhena gogolia:
Aah, I thought I had seen one that she did using her own voice… I guess Trump just sounds like a woman to me…lol!
BruceFromOhio
@Benw: Oh great. Pedant jackalytes.
We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
raven
@Odie Hugh Manatee: How’s it hangin?
Miss Bianca
@SiubhanDuinne: The Coming of Antichrist, the Dyers’ Play from the Chester Mystery Cycle – it would have had the last of its original performances around 1572, when Elizabeth I banned the mystery plays as being too “popish”. Told the (Biblical) history of the world from Creation to Last Judgement. Chester is the only one of the major English cycles to include two Antichrist pieces before the Last Judgement.
I have thought about this play often in the days of Trump’s ass-cendancy, believe me…
Viva BrisVegas
If you are into that sort of thing:
Proverbs 30:5-6
“Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.”
BruceFromOhio
Yes, it would be too much. Next question?
J R in WV
@Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:
“Tom Wine, the Louisville prosecutor ” who attempted to frame the deceased (and unable to defend herself) Breonna Taylor by offering a bribe to Glover, the accused (but not convicted) dealer, is a despicable piece of law violating shit, who attempted to cover up murder committed by police working for him. I assume he (or an employee of his) wrote the warrant application that resulted in Breonna’s death.
Frankly, those who participated in preparing for the faulty 3 am raid are as guilty of murder as the cops who conducted the completely illegal and murderous raid on an innocent person’s apartment.
Shooting blindly into a room, come on, who does that? No one obeying the law!
WaterGirl
@raven: @zhena gogolia: Yes!
Jinchi
Are you sure we can’t just end it right there?
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Miss Bianca:
They’re absolute scum. They laugh at ghoulish memes of the shooting victims in Kenosha. Whether they were good people or not is besides the point. You don’t make light of people’s deaths like that. It’s disgusting
And don’t worry, I’m done with them
Jay
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): BFD, Trump’s always talked out of both sides of his face.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Jay:
I’ve seen it first hand and it’s disturbing
Jay
@Jinchi: story continues to Jan. 20, 2021.
Origuy
@WaterGirl: I thought it was “a laurel, and hardy handshake”.
Doug R
@Baud:
He did whip the merchandisers out of the temple.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@Baud:
You’re correct. It just disturbs me how sure of themselves they are
Miss Bianca
@BruceFromOhio: Nah. I’m pretty sure there’s only one way to spell it in runes.
cain
Well shit – it’s about time the anti-Christ got his own book.
Kattails
@Baud: All their conclusions depend on it being correct to personally administer the death penalty to anyone at all who does something they think is not cricket, whether that’s eating Skittles or damaging property. It all merits the death penalty. So, logically applied, without further ado bring on the tumbrels.
@SiubhanDuinne: OH wonderfully done! I am only bummed that I missed, for the second time in recent posts, bits about Lord Peter from the dead thread a couple of hours ago.
SiubhanDuinne
@Miss Bianca:
Thanks so much. I’ve heard of the Chester Mystery Cycle, but am not* at all familiar with the texts. Beautiful! Will seek them out.
*Idle, O/T thought: I’ve often wondered why we (English speakers) don’t use “amn’t” as a contraction of “am not.”
scav
@Jay: Well, then, do beget imaginatively!
WaterGirl
@Miss Bianca: Thanks for that. I had forgotten how “out there” that lady was.
Kattails
@Baud: revenge/dish/cold I believe is the gist of things.
ballerat
I think you might be misreading this piece by M. Adelson.
I see it as Adelson’s casting of Trump as Esther, that is, as a vessel by which God acts. Which is by association godly enough to them.
Trump is cast as a divinely inspired chronicler of the deliverance of White people from the threatening Other.
This is very much in line with how evangelicals have viewed Trump. He’s just a conductor (or as they see it, a flawed vessel) of the power of God to be used in His service.
Which of course is for the advancement and privilege of White people.
Despite what rational people would conclude, being flawed makes Trump even more legit. Apparently God likes nothing better to do, among all the other things an omniscient might consider doing, is to give the middle finger to rational thinking in general and Libs in particular.
If nothing, it makes the shitty human beings that are evangelicals feel smug about themselves: if a dirtbag like Trump can catch the fancy and favor of and be an historic vessel of God, then they are worthy too.
Winning a lotto jackpot becomes sooo too a realistic possibility. The more unlikely the more it means God wanted it to happen; The science of probability is but an apostasy.
Jay
@BruceFromOhio:
we have a boat?
Miss Bianca
@SiubhanDuinne: I think I read somewhere – but am far too lazy to look it up right now – that “ain’t” is actually intended as a form of “amn’t” – easier to say, and all. Which is a theory I personally enjoy, on the grounds of being able to say ” ‘I ain’t’ IS TOO good grammar!
ETA: But of course, I DID TOO look it up.
WaterGirl
@BruceFromOhio: I wasn’t interested in any Book of Trump that the Adelson lady would have wanted, but I love Subaru Diane’s!
MoCA Ace
In my best Pumba voice…
“Your Majesty, I gravel at your feet!”
ETA: on further reflection it could use more verily’s… verilies??
SiubhanDuinne
@Miss Bianca:
As a little girl, I learned the jingle There ain’t such a word as “ain’t,” ‘cause it ain’t in the dictionary!
Jay
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
the trick to being so assured that you never admit you were ever wrong, never look backwards, always look forwards.
James Fields Jr after all, was going to be acquitted on self defence.
Instead, life plus 419 years.
marklar
@Ken:
“Ven di Bubbe zogt “feh” drei mal, du is geschickt tsu di goles”
(my best effort…only 3 years of Yiddish in High School)
Miss Bianca
@ballerat:
“CALL ME ‘SKY DADDY’, AND ASK WHY PEOPLE OUGHT TO BELIEVE IN ME, WILL YOU? I’LL SHOW YOU!”
ETA: I’d laugh, but it’s a little too close to how I picture the Evangelicals’ God actually reacting in their little heads.
Jay
Benw
@prostratedragon: bass kazoos are the soundtrack of lovin’
@BruceFromOhio: an ark, if you will
ballerat
@ballerat: Ah, never mind. “Yes it would be too much”. Yes it would indeed.
But the original is not about a biblical book written about Trump or the Trumps. It posits a biblical book written by Trump.
It’s really horrifying the evangelicals are elevating him to the level of the authors of the bible, among who are the apostles.
Steeplejack
Book of Revelation, people. Singular.
Renie
So I guess these trump supporters now believe it is ok to kill people to protect a building. Strange philosophy from the pro-life group.
Jay
zhena gogolia
@Steeplejack:
Peter Strzok.
Gin & Tonic
@zhena gogolia: Michael Bennet.
randy
@SiubhanDuinne: “amn’t”
Because “ain’t” is more traditional
Jay
@Renie:
“Stuff happens and it’s untidy, and freedom’s untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.” (April 11, 2003)”
Gin & Tonic
@zhena gogolia: And a nice play on words from Belarus – after Lukashenka referred to the protesters as “drug addicts and prostitutes” some of the women protesters, who have been absolutely fearless here, havе taken to calling themselves “протестутки.”
James E Powell
@Jay:
Paul is called an Apostle and he wasn’t one of the original 12. Maybe it’s like the Ramones, when you join the band, you’re an Apostle.
Patricia Kayden
Odie Hugh Manatee
@SiubhanDuinne:
I heard it as “Ain’t ain’t a word because ain’t ain’t in the dictionary.”
Uncle Cosmo
Bingo. That’s the fundamental purpose of the 25th Amendment: to ensure that someone is officially authorized to exercise the powers of the Presidency when POTUS is unable to do so. In the past it’s been invoked when the President is unconscious (e.g., under general anesthesia for a medical procedure).
(NB In The West Wing Sorkin had Bartlett voluntarily [& temporarily] step aside in favor of the Republican Speaker of the House [John Goodman] when his daughter was kidnapped by terrorists [so as not to be subject to extortion involving things only POTUS can do]. Not entirely sure that’s kosher but it made for interesting viewing.)
Jay
Patricia Kayden
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Odie Hugh Manatee: my grandmother’s version was “Don’t say ain’t cause ain’t ain’t proper and ain’t ain’t in the dictionary”
Jay
FredW
I’m old enough to remember The Begatting of a President about the 1968 election. I had the book and later the album — which was read by Orson Wells. Got an A in my high school speech class project reciting it. Of course I cheated, I just copied how Orson Wells did it :)
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I think of Lindsey Graham and all the others who said the world saw Obama as weak and feckless, and other nations no longer respected us (which just about every poll said was the opposite of true in just a bout every country except IIRC Israel and Russia)
I wonder if Palin saw the submarine from her house?
Jay
Jay
cain
@Jay:
Racism is expensive. Raise taxes – I bet they’ll raise it if it is to keep the brown and black people down.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
In which trump goes so far into the weeds of conspiracy fantasy it’s almost too much even for Laura Ingram
cain
It’s unfortunate that this book did not include the great crowd during his inauguration.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
trump: “shooting the guy in the back many times, I mean, couldn’t ya have done something different, couldn’t ya have wrestled him…”, he also says there are some bad people, seems like he means on police forces
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
She squeezed one more ain’t into it than my version. For more “ain’t” how about “You ain’t supposed to say ain’t because ain’t ain’t proper and ain’t ain’t in the dictionary”
The more cowbell version…lol!
Jeffro
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: same interview, he talks about “planes full of ‘thugs’ wearing black clothing” presumably on their way to Portland and ‘dark forces’ controlling Biden.
In other words, “I’m rubber and you’re glue”. Or projection. Same thing, really.
Stroke out, dime store hitler – save us all a lot of court expenses!
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Jeffro: I linked to that at 212 @Jim, Foolish Literalist: even Ingram’s like “Where was this plane?” “I’ll tell you someday”
Even after all this time, I still can’t believe so many people are dumb enough to think this is a smart ma
ETA:
a place that’s not so good… they’re campaigning on the idea that Joe Biden can’t complete a sentence
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I had this discussion with a fellow photog(not a Trumper)…”He’s rich so he’s smart”.
I said this is wrong on two levels: first, he’s not rich, he owes more than he’s worth, and second, I’ve know quite a few rich folk that are as dumb as a rock.
Ohio Mom
ballerat @179
I just got here — googled the original article (in USA Today) and started skimming tne comments.
You are right, Miriam Adelson sees Trump as a hero and savior to the Jewish People (shudder).
I can imagine Trump included in a Purim celebration, as the butt of the Speil. I would look forward to drowning out his name, even as the usual Purim racket sets my ears ringing. I will bring earplugs.
Jeffro
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: my bad for not clicking on the link ;)
What. A. Loon.
Hey, whenever you’re ready, GOP, just let us know… (eyeroll)
Jeffro
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
@?BillinGlendaleCA: so many reasons to choose from but it’s his utter stupidity that offends me the most, and always has.
Higher standards next time around (and every time after that) America!
Spanky
@piratedan: That’s “BigbooTAY”!
Jeffro
You know what’s funny question not in a humorous way, but in an “OMG, I hate this insane reality” kind of way?
despite all of the trumpov administration officials who have come forward after their service to publicly state that Trump is a toddler and a maniac and a moron…
… All it would take to send the mango madness crashing down to 27% support or lower would be for Laura Ingraham to go, “I’m sorry but this is one crazy, unfit MF”
it doesn’t matter how many national security officials or diplomats or intelligence officials come forth: let ONE Fox talking head come out against this clown, hard, and he would be toast.
no, I don’t expect it would happen of course… but y’all have to admit, that is what would do it.
cain
You see that fox news interview with Laura Ingraham? He’s too crazy for Laura! haha :D
Jinchi
Apropos of nothing. The moon high in the sky in California right now is a beautiful blood orange. It’s like looking at Mars.
smedley the uncertain
@SiubhanDuinne:Thanks. Looking forward to the sequel.
Aleta
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Seems like he’s talking about what his camp is doing. Since his accusations are often admissions of his own crimes or behavior, or projections.
Said Obama (when president) had mental health issues. (Trump’s are endless.) Dems were rigging the election for Hilary. (While he was rigging the election.) Hilary didn’t (now Biden doesn’t) have the stamina to be president. “Low IQ” “Sleepy J” (Trump needs naps at least twice a day. )
Said Biden if elected will gut programs and not even know he’s doing it. Biden’s in cognitive decline, can’t pass the test. Wants Biden to take a drug test.
Today: Biden ignores “left-wing political violence in cities.” And “When you surrender to the mob you don’t get freedom you get fascism. That’s what happens in all cases … Biden is using mafia talking points — the mob will leave you alone if you give them what you want. That’s what it is.”
So thugs in black are working behind the scenes to help Biden? It’s hidden, out of Biden’s control? People in the dark shadows are pulling Biden’s strings? Confirmation of what we suspected about the Trump camp.
Amir Khalid
@Ken:
When George Herbert Walker Bush got sick at a state dinner in Japan and barfed on the PM, Dan Quayle was roused from bed and brought to the White House just in case.
Sloane Ranger
@Jay: I was taught that Paul was an Apostle although not among the original 12. The Apostle to the Gentiles
During his Road to Damascus experience he is said to have met Christ. That’s what I was taught
J R in WV
@Elizabelle:
This is really common, since printing presses and the associated plant are really expensive. The sharing of the physical plant usually has nothing to do with any commonality of editorial content whatsoever.
Locally we had a really right wing paper (The Charleston Daily-Mail) sharing a plant with the Charleston Gazette, a very progressive, environmentalist paper. Until recently, when print media began to suffer from online competition.
Now the single daily paper is the Charleston Gazette-Mail, with a new owner who also owns some other papers in the area.
A modern rotary press for a large newspaper is millions of dollars. They shake the earth when they spin up! A shame they are nearly functionally obsolete due to the innertubes.