Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

If you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom, it is privilege.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

Anne Laurie is a fucking hero in so many ways. ~ Betty Cracker

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Let there be snark.

People are weird.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

In after Baud. Damn.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Previous Site Maintenance / Alrighty, We Are Done

Alrighty, We Are Done

by | 55 Comments

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Ok, we have raised enough to pay server costs through the end of May, so we are closing down the fundraiser. Thanks to everyone! I also feel confident enough in our financial status that I will be working to remove the one banner ad from our mobile site that you fatfingered fuckers apparently simply can not tolerate, so YAY this means you will be happy and also I will be happy because I will not have to talk to Watergirl about it every week.

In all seriousness, thanks to everyone who gave! I am also not adding anymore ways to fund the site- if it can not be done with paypal, zelle, venmo, patreon, and snail mail, it just ain’t happening. Hell, I think the only thing left is an Onlyfans account.

Also, someone shit in the shower while I was sleeping and I did not notice until after I turned the water on and the steamy smell covered the entire second floor. Happy fucking Saturday.

I just know it was Thurston, the bastard.

Reader Interactions

55Comments

  1. 1.

    Miss Bianca

    Oh, dear, John! Sorry to LOL at your situation – or should it be “shituation”?

    I need to check my PayPal history and make sure I checked “money to a friend” rather than “services”. That will be my useful deed for the day.

  8. 8.

    kindness

    Autumn cold has finally arrived here in Ca and I’ve started closing the door from the kitchen to the garage.  Most the year it’s open & the kids go out the critter door in the garage to the back yard any time they please.  Now they have to wait till I get up to be able to go out.  They never like that, but they don’t pay my heating bills.

  9. 9.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Are you that far removed from life in the Army?  It looks like you have a mad shitter.   According to a 1st Sergeant who explained the phenomenon to a few if us LTs who were disgust that someone had shat in the barracks shower:  One of of every hundred soldiers is affected, but it takes a variety of forms.  Some like ours and yours simply leave shits in unlikely places.  Others will use it ti write on walls.  Others – and he here he said we did not want to know – did other unspeakable things.  So, in conclusion, be happy yours is a shower mad shitter not an unspeakable one.

  11. 11.

    Nicole

    That’s great news; so glad to be a part of this community and help support it.

    Thinking this morning about how I originally started visiting here to try to get an idea of what the conservative point of view was.  Heh.

    Also, I have tiny squirrel paws but that banner ad at the top really does get tricky to make go away on mobile devices, so if that’s the one you’re axing, thank you (and if not, le sigh, but fine.  It’s a banner ad, not brain surgery).

  13. 13.

    different-church-lady

    someone shit in the shower while I was sleeping

    How would Adam Sandler modify “MacArthur Park”?

    Inexplicably popular SNL Cast Members for $600, the Benevolent Spirit of Alex…

  16. 16.

    Leto

    @Omnes Omnibus: we had mad shitters at some of our deployed locations. The fact we had to have placards up in the bathroom trailers saying, “DON’T SHIT IN THE SHOWERS” was just a constant reminder to always have your shower shoes on, and to look on aghast/disbelief at the ones who didn’t.

  18. 18.

    Betty Cracker

    @Omnes Omnibus: I worked in an office building that had a mad shitter. He or she deposited turds into random trash baskets — in a break room, in people’s cubicles, in a conference room. The culprit was never apprehended, AFAIK.

  20. 20.

    Sloane Ranger

    Also, someone shit in the shower while I was sleeping and I did not notice until after I turned the water on and the steamy smell covered the entire second floor. Happy fucking Saturday.

    Mr Cole, there is such a thing as TOO much information!

    Seriously, thanks for starting and keeping this site up and running. I note the fundraiser is over but I will be sending some more once my monthly pension arrives in a few days time.

  22. 22.

    WaterGirl

    @ John Cole up top:

    I will be happy because I will not have to talk to Watergirl about it every week.

    In my defense, may I just say that I bugged john about the annoying ads no more than every 10 days, and sometimes longer than that.  So to say it is every week is a gross exaggeration.  :-)

  23. 23.

    Wapiti

    @Omnes Omnibus: We had one when I was working with the Army Reserves in Houston. Only happened on drill weekends, so I don’t think it was the full-timers.

    Of course, after the reservists left the full-timers had to deal with the mess.

  24. 24.

    BruceFromOhio

    At least it wasn’t at the bottom of the stairs. Or on the floor next to the bed.

    Glad to help, now on with the show.

    WaterGirl, can we order calendars yet? Solstice is coming…

  25. 25.

    narya

    I’m currently signed up w/ PayPal-by-month, but I can switch to Patreon if that has fewer fees on your end . . .

  28. 28.

    EthylEster

    OT but… I put FireFox Focus on my iPhone 6 and everything loads fast. So I will be checking it out for a while.

  32. 32.

    Fair Economist

    An OnlyFans account could sure liven up Balloon Juice After Dark! Plus it fits with the site initials.

  33. 33.

    Mom Says I*m Handsome

    The Internet experience has gone whole hog towards a “free for users but besieged by ads” model, and it’s killing all of us slowly, for a myriad of reasons obvious and not-so.*  The fact that we as a community can self-fund our online presence in a few days says that people are willing to pay for good content & a pleasant experience (the “subscriber” model), and I for one would double my contribution if it meant the elimination of more ads — or at least the new one that stands between a front-page post and the comments.

     

    * Cory Doctorow wrote an illuminating essay about what he calls surveillance capitalism here: https://onezero.medium.com/how-to-destroy-surveillance-capitalism-8135e6744d59

  34. 34.

    Jay C

    I’m glad you didn’t shut the fundraiser down just yet: gave me time to get my donation in: paltry, but will probably have enough left over to buy a decent-size bottle of disinfectant for your shower.

    Keep up the good work!

  37. 37.

    geg6

    That’s okay.  Lovey had the runs in the dining room late last night and then climbed back into bed as we slept and got dog poop detritus all over the sheets and my pillowcase.  At least the shower is easy to clean and you didn’t have a smear of poop on your cheek when you woke up.  She is getting a bath when my John gets home from cutting the grass at our camp.  Jesus, what a morning I had.

  39. 39.

    glc

    @Nicole:

    Thinking this morning about how I originally started visiting here to try to get an idea of what the conservative point of view was.  Heh.

    @Nicole: (I still do, but don’t tell anyone.)

  42. 42.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Suzanne: I would posit that, if you gather 100 people together for a length of time, one of them will show mad shitting tendencies.  It’s not unknown in college dorms, for example.  But you do what you want.  Although, I am surprised to see you kink shaming.

  43. 43.

    SFBayAreaGal

    Dang, I must have got lucky, never had a mad shi*tter while I was in the Army. That included basic training, advanced training and where I was stationed.

    Things I learn from all of you.

  45. 45.

    WaterGirl

    You guys can always donate whenever you want.  The PayPal link is always there in the sidebar, and I have added a link for Patreon and a link for Venmo and Zelle (they provide the info you need in order to add John/Balloon Juice as someone you pay).

    That would save John having to do the ask for the fundraiser, which can’t be any fun at all.  I can shamelessly promote it because it’s not my ask.  :-)

    Also, are you guys all aware that if you click on the Amazon link – and then order your stuff from Amazon – then John gets a tiny cut of the money you spend?

    I order from Amazon all the time and never do it through the BJ link, which is really dumb.  I plan to do better, and maybe some of you can join me in that if you buy from Amazon.

  48. 48.

    There go two miscreants

    I guess I lucked out: was in an all-male dorm in college — communal bathroom — and never encountered that. It had one big shower area with many showerheads, so that might have been a deterrent (altho there were many occasions when I had the shower to myself).

    I’ve been in for a monthly contribution for a while; continuing.

  49. 49.

    Origuy

    Christmas is coming, Maybe it’s El Caganer!

    (A figurine of a man depicted in the act of defecation found in Catalan nativity scenes.)

  51. 51.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Suzanne: No, there is a big difference between someone doing it as revenge or the like and being a mad shitter.  It is more of a compulsive thing.  From what I understand, when mad shitters are caught, they tend to be good soldiers, seemingly well adjusted otherwise and popular with their peers.  The army usually seeks to get them help or eliminates them for medical reasons if that doesn’t work as opposed to punishing them.

  53. 53.

    EmanG

    hey, @watergirl or @johncole, if I click the ad links does that give you like .oo1 cents or something? Will gladly click links all day if it helps out.

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