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You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Site Maintenance / Alrighty, We Are Done

Alrighty, We Are Done

by John Cole|  November 14, 202010:27 am| 55 Comments

This post is in: Site Maintenance

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Ok, we have raised enough to pay server costs through the end of May, so we are closing down the fundraiser. Thanks to everyone! I also feel confident enough in our financial status that I will be working to remove the one banner ad from our mobile site that you fatfingered fuckers apparently simply can not tolerate, so YAY this means you will be happy and also I will be happy because I will not have to talk to Watergirl about it every week.

In all seriousness, thanks to everyone who gave! I am also not adding anymore ways to fund the site- if it can not be done with paypal, zelle, venmo, patreon, and snail mail, it just ain’t happening. Hell, I think the only thing left is an Onlyfans account.

Also, someone shit in the shower while I was sleeping and I did not notice until after I turned the water on and the steamy smell covered the entire second floor. Happy fucking Saturday.

I just know it was Thurston, the bastard.

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Reader Interactions

55Comments

  1. 1.

    Miss Bianca

    November 14, 2020 at 10:35 am

    Oh, dear, John! Sorry to LOL at your situation – or should it be “shituation”?

    I need to check my PayPal history and make sure I checked “money to a friend” rather than “services”. That will be my useful deed for the day.

  2. 2.

    jeffreyw

    November 14, 2020 at 10:36 am

    A new fragrance called Eau de Pepe will cut right through the dog poop odor.

  3. 3.

    Alison Rose

    November 14, 2020 at 10:37 am

    An OnlyFans account

    Starring Steve, of course.

  4. 4.

    Danielx

    November 14, 2020 at 10:40 am

    What a wonderful way to begin the day.

  5. 5.

    KenK

    November 14, 2020 at 10:40 am

    John, I was no where near to your home, let alone your shower…

  6. 6.

    Citizen_X

    November 14, 2020 at 10:41 am

    you fatfingered fuckers

    Needs to be a rotating tagline.

  7. 7.

    p.a.

    November 14, 2020 at 10:46 am

    Hell, I think the only thing left is an Onlyfans account.

    What about barter?

  8. 8.

    kindness

    November 14, 2020 at 10:47 am

    Autumn cold has finally arrived here in Ca and I’ve started closing the door from the kitchen to the garage.  Most the year it’s open & the kids go out the critter door in the garage to the back yard any time they please.  Now they have to wait till I get up to be able to go out.  They never like that, but they don’t pay my heating bills.

  9. 9.

    Omnes Omnibus

    November 14, 2020 at 10:47 am

    Are you that far removed from life in the Army?  It looks like you have a mad shitter.   According to a 1st Sergeant who explained the phenomenon to a few if us LTs who were disgust that someone had shat in the barracks shower:  One of of every hundred soldiers is affected, but it takes a variety of forms.  Some like ours and yours simply leave shits in unlikely places.  Others will use it ti write on walls.  Others – and he here he said we did not want to know – did other unspeakable things.  So, in conclusion, be happy yours is a shower mad shitter not an unspeakable one.

  10. 10.

    Betty Cracker

    November 14, 2020 at 10:47 am

    Oh Thurston, how could you? ?

  11. 11.

    Nicole

    November 14, 2020 at 10:48 am

    That’s great news; so glad to be a part of this community and help support it.

    Thinking this morning about how I originally started visiting here to try to get an idea of what the conservative point of view was.  Heh.

    Also, I have tiny squirrel paws but that banner ad at the top really does get tricky to make go away on mobile devices, so if that’s the one you’re axing, thank you (and if not, le sigh, but fine.  It’s a banner ad, not brain surgery).

  12. 12.

    WereBear

    November 14, 2020 at 10:50 am

    It’s a way of marking territory. Even in angry male soldiers, I guess.

  13. 13.

    different-church-lady

    November 14, 2020 at 10:50 am

    someone shit in the shower while I was sleeping

    How would Adam Sandler modify “MacArthur Park”?

    Inexplicably popular SNL Cast Members for $600, the Benevolent Spirit of Alex…

  14. 14.

    Leto

    November 14, 2020 at 10:54 am

    @Alison Rose: John passed on his OnlyFans career when he stopped nakkid shower mopping.

  15. 15.

    planetjanet

    November 14, 2020 at 10:56 am

    My check is in the mail!

  16. 16.

    Leto

    November 14, 2020 at 10:57 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: we had mad shitters at some of our deployed locations. The fact we had to have placards up in the bathroom trailers saying, “DON’T SHIT IN THE SHOWERS” was just a constant reminder to always have your shower shoes on, and to look on aghast/disbelief at the ones who didn’t.

  17. 17.

    Amir Khalid

    November 14, 2020 at 11:00 am

    @Citizen_X:

    Or a band name.

  18. 18.

    Betty Cracker

    November 14, 2020 at 11:00 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: I worked in an office building that had a mad shitter. He or she deposited turds into random trash baskets — in a break room, in people’s cubicles, in a conference room. The culprit was never apprehended, AFAIK.

  19. 19.

    dexwood

    November 14, 2020 at 11:00 am

    Happy to help out. I learn much, laugh a lot, find comfort here. Thanks for killing the banner ads.

  20. 20.

    Sloane Ranger

    November 14, 2020 at 11:01 am

    Also, someone shit in the shower while I was sleeping and I did not notice until after I turned the water on and the steamy smell covered the entire second floor. Happy fucking Saturday.

    Mr Cole, there is such a thing as TOO much information!

    Seriously, thanks for starting and keeping this site up and running. I note the fundraiser is over but I will be sending some more once my monthly pension arrives in a few days time.

  21. 21.

    frosty

    November 14, 2020 at 11:05 am

    @Omnes Omnibus:  Mad shitters. You learn something new every day, even at retirement age. Balloon-Juice – the full service blog!

  22. 22.

    WaterGirl

    November 14, 2020 at 11:07 am

    @ John Cole up top:

    I will be happy because I will not have to talk to Watergirl about it every week.

    In my defense, may I just say that I bugged john about the annoying ads no more than every 10 days, and sometimes longer than that.  So to say it is every week is a gross exaggeration.  :-)

  23. 23.

    Wapiti

    November 14, 2020 at 11:19 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: We had one when I was working with the Army Reserves in Houston. Only happened on drill weekends, so I don’t think it was the full-timers.

    Of course, after the reservists left the full-timers had to deal with the mess.

  24. 24.

    BruceFromOhio

    November 14, 2020 at 11:20 am

    At least it wasn’t at the bottom of the stairs. Or on the floor next to the bed.

    Glad to help, now on with the show.

    WaterGirl, can we order calendars yet? Solstice is coming…

  25. 25.

    narya

    November 14, 2020 at 11:27 am

    I’m currently signed up w/ PayPal-by-month, but I can switch to Patreon if that has fewer fees on your end . . .

  26. 26.

    Miss Bianca

    November 14, 2020 at 11:39 am

    @Betty Cracker: @Omnes Omnibus: Oh, man…the things I (happily) never knew existed! Mad shitters, forsooth!

  27. 27.

    Omnes Omnibus

    November 14, 2020 at 11:43 am

    @Miss Bianca: There are more things in heaven and earth, Miss Bianca, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

  28. 28.

    EthylEster

    November 14, 2020 at 11:49 am

    OT but… I put FireFox Focus on my iPhone 6 and everything loads fast. So I will be checking it out for a while.

  29. 29.

    MattF

    November 14, 2020 at 11:57 am

    Wikipedia covers a Japanese version of mad shitting, in great detail.

  30. 30.

    Miss Bianca

    November 14, 2020 at 11:58 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: 

    Yeah, and I obviously missed that minor classic of 16th-century dramaturgy when I was studying such, A Mad Shitter’s World, My Masters.

  31. 31.

    WereBear

    November 14, 2020 at 12:03 pm

    A sense a groundbreaking new American novel! Now, the title… It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad Shitter’s World?

  32. 32.

    Fair Economist

    November 14, 2020 at 12:06 pm

    An OnlyFans account could sure liven up Balloon Juice After Dark! Plus it fits with the site initials.

  33. 33.

    Mom Says I*m Handsome

    November 14, 2020 at 12:07 pm

    The Internet experience has gone whole hog towards a “free for users but besieged by ads” model, and it’s killing all of us slowly, for a myriad of reasons obvious and not-so.*  The fact that we as a community can self-fund our online presence in a few days says that people are willing to pay for good content & a pleasant experience (the “subscriber” model), and I for one would double my contribution if it meant the elimination of more ads — or at least the new one that stands between a front-page post and the comments.

     

    * Cory Doctorow wrote an illuminating essay about what he calls surveillance capitalism here: https://onezero.medium.com/how-to-destroy-surveillance-capitalism-8135e6744d59

  34. 34.

    Jay C

    November 14, 2020 at 12:30 pm

    I’m glad you didn’t shut the fundraiser down just yet: gave me time to get my donation in: paltry, but will probably have enough left over to buy a decent-size bottle of disinfectant for your shower.

    Keep up the good work!

  35. 35.

    debbie

    November 14, 2020 at 12:33 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    That was a disgruntled employee, which we’ve all heard so much about recently.

  36. 36.

    NotMax

    November 14, 2020 at 12:45 pm

    Also, someone shit in the shower

    Pictures or it didn’t hap–

    Never mind.

    :)

  37. 37.

    geg6

    November 14, 2020 at 12:51 pm

    That’s okay.  Lovey had the runs in the dining room late last night and then climbed back into bed as we slept and got dog poop detritus all over the sheets and my pillowcase.  At least the shower is easy to clean and you didn’t have a smear of poop on your cheek when you woke up.  She is getting a bath when my John gets home from cutting the grass at our camp.  Jesus, what a morning I had.

  38. 38.

    Suzanne

    November 14, 2020 at 12:52 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Anytime someone tells me that the military represent the best of America, I will reflect on what you just told me.

  39. 39.

    glc

    November 14, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    @Nicole:

    Thinking this morning about how I originally started visiting here to try to get an idea of what the conservative point of view was.  Heh.

    @Nicole: (I still do, but don’t tell anyone.)

  40. 40.

    WhatsMyNym

    November 14, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    @Mom Says I*m Handsome:

    I for one would double my contribution if it meant the elimination of more ads

    Many of us use ad-blockers, so John wants to make us feel guilty if we don’t pay up.

  41. 41.

    WhatsMyNym

    November 14, 2020 at 1:06 pm

    In Moderation –

    typo in Nym

  42. 42.

    Omnes Omnibus

    November 14, 2020 at 1:12 pm

    @Suzanne: I would posit that, if you gather 100 people together for a length of time, one of them will show mad shitting tendencies.  It’s not unknown in college dorms, for example.  But you do what you want.  Although, I am surprised to see you kink shaming.

  43. 43.

    SFBayAreaGal

    November 14, 2020 at 1:27 pm

    Dang, I must have got lucky, never had a mad shi*tter while I was in the Army. That included basic training, advanced training and where I was stationed.

    Things I learn from all of you.

  44. 44.

    WaterGirl

    November 14, 2020 at 1:39 pm

    @WhatsMyNym: fixed!

  45. 45.

    WaterGirl

    November 14, 2020 at 1:42 pm

    You guys can always donate whenever you want.  The PayPal link is always there in the sidebar, and I have added a link for Patreon and a link for Venmo and Zelle (they provide the info you need in order to add John/Balloon Juice as someone you pay).

    That would save John having to do the ask for the fundraiser, which can’t be any fun at all.  I can shamelessly promote it because it’s not my ask.  :-)

    Also, are you guys all aware that if you click on the Amazon link – and then order your stuff from Amazon – then John gets a tiny cut of the money you spend?

    I order from Amazon all the time and never do it through the BJ link, which is really dumb.  I plan to do better, and maybe some of you can join me in that if you buy from Amazon.

  46. 46.

    MomSense

    November 14, 2020 at 2:05 pm

    A John Cole plus menagerie Only Fans sounds awesome.

  47. 47.

    Suzanne

    November 14, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Is mad shitting a kink? I’m thinking this is more akin to sabotage.

  48. 48.

    There go two miscreants

    November 14, 2020 at 2:44 pm

    I guess I lucked out: was in an all-male dorm in college — communal bathroom — and never encountered that. It had one big shower area with many showerheads, so that might have been a deterrent (altho there were many occasions when I had the shower to myself).

    I’ve been in for a monthly contribution for a while; continuing.

  49. 49.

    Origuy

    November 14, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    Christmas is coming, Maybe it’s El Caganer!

    (A figurine of a man depicted in the act of defecation found in Catalan nativity scenes.)

  50. 50.

    jackson

    November 14, 2020 at 3:07 pm

    Oh John, I do love you. Too bad you’re too young for me. Otherwise perfect.

  51. 51.

    Omnes Omnibus

    November 14, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    @Suzanne: No, there is a big difference between someone doing it as revenge or the like and being a mad shitter.  It is more of a compulsive thing.  From what I understand, when mad shitters are caught, they tend to be good soldiers, seemingly well adjusted otherwise and popular with their peers.  The army usually seeks to get them help or eliminates them for medical reasons if that doesn’t work as opposed to punishing them.

  52. 52.

    The Lodger

    November 14, 2020 at 4:27 pm

    @Leto: Wasn’t that a big hit for Alternate Universe Petula Clark?

  53. 53.

    EmanG

    November 14, 2020 at 9:32 pm

    hey, @watergirl or @johncole, if I click the ad links does that give you like .oo1 cents or something? Will gladly click links all day if it helps out.

  54. 54.

    WaterGirl

    November 14, 2020 at 9:34 pm

    @EmanG: I think that most of our ads are based on page views not clicks.  But John handles all the ad stuff, so I could be wrong about that.

  55. 55.

    PJ

    November 14, 2020 at 11:51 pm

    @Origuy:  isn’t El Caganer a poster here?

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