From our resident cat-whisperer WereBear:
Who rescues whom?
There’s a common saying among rescue fans, expressed as, “Yes, they also rescued me.” This is a heartwarming sentiment. Right now, we can’t have too many of those.
In the span of my time in rescue, more-or-less my entire adult life, I have seen incredible advancement. I looked up some statistics to show how far.
When a lost, stray or abandoned pet entered an American city’s animal shelter 10 years ago, there was a good chance it would not leave.
But in a quiet transformation, pet euthanasia rates have plummeted in big cities in recent years, falling more than 75 percent since 2009. A rescue, an adoption or a return to an owner or community is now a far likelier outcome, a shift that experts say has happened nationwide.
Why euthanasia rates at animal shelters have plummeted in US
Now my area has no-kill shelters. These have entirely replaced the old-style shelters, where unwanted animals were treated like garbage to be disposed of. This is, no question, a humanitarian advance.
We adopted pair-bonded kittens a little over a year ago. Their story illustrates these developments. They were rescued from a large feral colony, spent time in a foster home for socialization, and then displayed at my vet’s office so more people could see them.
When I started in rescue, all of this was far less likely to happen at all. Best case scenario would have been a dedicated lone person whose home was already full. She might have been able to trap and neuter as she slowly shrank a colony humanely. The cuddly treasure, which is Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, would have stayed hidden.
These two kittens also created a rescue situation which was actually new to me. Unlike showing up at a local shelter because we had a slot open, we were already at four cats. Unlike a “me or a kill shelter” situation, these kittens had already been rescued, multiple times.
The danger was from the humane decision to keep pair-bonded cats together. I knew that was the right decision, even though it meant they would be highly likely to grow up in a cage. Their socialization gains would be dependent on a busy shelter making enough time for them. Waiting until someone was willing to go for the two-fer. With the additional gamble of the plea/warning of “they warm up fast.” According to the sign on their cage.
I moved on the anticipation that they would be delightful, and so they were. Mr WayofCats was initially in the camp named Are-You-Out-Ofyereverloving-Mind? But while coerced initially, he became a willing convert, within days.
He understood now. These were Magic Kittens.
But what I didn’t anticipate was how this move did not cause, but did accelerate, the regrettable and the inevitable. Which was the emergency re-homing of our other feral rescue, Mithrandir.
Looking back through my photo archives, I can see how the shy kitten transformed over six years. He slowly thawed into enjoying people. He quickly became eager to cuddle with our other cats. He evolved into utterly recovered-feral. To the point that he transformed into an Only Cat.
I did not see that one coming.
But I never argue with any cat’s true destiny. Now I can see how our other cats gradually dropped out of his photos as he journeyed to a long-coming maturity. Big cats take much longer, so he didn’t get off the train until the age of six. When he communicated his new status by turning into a bully of his former friends.
I thought he was just slow to adjust, due to his abundant Persian heritage, as seen in his mutant-sheep coat which required regular lion cuts. Once we realized how he was mean to the other cats when our back was turned, I was so shocked I got him an emergency vet visit. Working under the assumption that he had developed a neurological disorder.
Our long-time vet’s diagnosis made it all clear. “I think you should rehome him as an Only Cat.” Which we sadly did. I brought him up to date on everything medical that would make him utterly adoptable. Then I let the vet choose an emergency foster home.
Suddenly, a six-year relationship turned into an extraordinarily long fostering. Which, after all, did not fail. Someone is going to treasure the heck out of him. As we did.
The worst part is how we had to suddenly part ways. The good news is how we are all healing from the stress of Mithy’s constant sadness. Everyone is now happily settled in Kitten Country. Except for our tortie, Olwyn. But she is coming along, recovering her appetite, and rebuilding.
We have a diplomatic envoy in the person of our actual failed foster, Sir Tristan (pictured at top) First Lord of Pickledish, Duke of Gherkin. He was found in a field at the age of three weeks. He has become our Teen Cat Mentor. Whether he likes it, or not. But he mostly likes it.
Like Reverend Jim, Olwyn, Tristan, Mithrandir, Bud, and Lou, we are all dependent on the kindness of strangers. That’s how people become no longer strangers. By connecting to fight cruelty and injustice.
Linking together to build an unbreakable chain of rescue love. For any being who needs it.
That, of course, turns out to be… everyone.
———
The Way of Cats first book (yes, +Follow me to know when the next one is published) is available with the choice of paperback or Kindle. Gift idea for the holidays! Get the paperback personalized and autographed. Get fast help for stubborn cat problems with my guide, Cat 911: Fixing Their Care, in an instant-download PDF. Visit the Way of Cats fun blog.
———
TaMara here – I love these missives from WereBear. And we can really use the respite. Sorry for the delay with this one, I actually received it right before the election, but things were so crazy I didn’t want it to get lost.
Someone asked about Gabe so here he is reviewing my latest chapter, while Zander looks on. He’s been here two years Nov 2 and he is now a 4-year-old. I have to say it took him almost the full two years to decide this was home. He and Zander are inseparable and he adores his dogs, but it always felt like he was holding himself back, in case we were going to give up on him. It was my first time having a rescue that took more than a few months to settle in, but that’s okay, he had permission to have whatever journey he needed.
WereBear will be around for any cat questions…
Immanentize
House Imm needs a new kitten, but the shelters are bare….
WereBear
One question I get asked a lot is “When will this cat get over it?”
My answer is, “When they are ready.”
Humans get impatient and forget they have much more information and a higher overview of the situation than our cat does, who are usually suffering from a broken heart from whatever situation landed them in the shelter. We can understand that trust takes time to rebuild.
I try to turn my impatience into confidence. I say to them, “I love you, anyway,” and we all know the power of that.
WereBear
@Immanentize: I find that astonishing. I once thought that was an impossible dream :)
greenergood
Thanks for felid photies! I’m sorry Mithy had to leave – he is so beautiful, and I remember when he first arrived at WearBear’s but I hope he is happier now. And TaMara thx for your felid photies – Zandar’s a handsome felid, but be glad I live an ocean and three thousand miles away, or I would cat-nap my cat-crush, the Gabe!
Benw
@Immanentize: we’ve always adopted adult dogs and cats. But when we were finally ready to adopt a puppy for the kids, we had to make 3 trips to the nearby SPCA shelter because they were adopted so fast! We finally got there before opening and staked out the pen of a pair of black labradane puppies, and we finally brought one home!
Dorothy A. Winsor
WereBear also has a guest post on my blog on overcoming writer’s block. Another post from her on how to thrive at NaNoWriMo goes up on Monday. She is on a writing streak! And I am lucky to have her as my blog guest.
TaMara, how are you feeling? Are your post-COVID symptoms easing?
WereBear
@greenergood: Thank you! Without our devoted socialization efforts, I don’t think he’d have ever found a home. So ultimately, it was a successful rescue :)
MagdaInBlack
My Gordita is definitely an only cat. We tried, this summer, taking a cat from the same folks who gave me her, one that she knew. Let’s just say it did not go well at all. Fortunately the door was always open at her old home, so we agreed she should go back. When I opened the carrier door, she went straight to her old room, up the cat tree to “HER” perch and began bathing. We knew that’s where she belonged.
Thats ok, I’m an only child, I get it. Gordita is happy with the situation, and so am I.
Immanentize
@WereBear: It seems to be a combination of the waning summer breeding months plus Covid adoption rates.
One shelter on Cape Cod is bussing in kitties from Georgia, Louisiana and other southern states that have had weather disasters. Waiting patiently. Well, waiting.
germy
@WereBear:
I went to our local “job lots” store and bought about six horizontal cardboard scratching posts.
Our little girl has not scratched a single piece of furniture or rug since that time.
Miss Bianca
Oh, dear, my eyes are all stingy now…
My experience with adoption is that two years has been the norm – seemed like it took two years for any weird undesirable habits – like Larry’s fear biting, Stella’s erupting into protective roars at the door, etc – to fade away and for my animals to really settle in and feel like this is home. Meanwhile, the Huskies I raised from puppies were extremely (perhaps over) confident about their place in the world.
Watson has been with us for two years now, and has only just managed to take a car trip without throwing up! Maybe after two years I can get Roxy to actually enter a car voluntarily! : )
ETA: And oh, how I miss having a cat! Alas, my current situation is not conducive…Imm, the next time someone offers me a kitten, maybe we can have another BJ kitten chain cross-country!
Immanentize
@Benw: I have an adult male cat who has been with us for 8 years. Introducing another adult (or male for that matter) seems like not the optimal plan.
Our cat, Toast, was a kitten rescue and my son, then 7, was getting so frustrated with the trips (5) to the shelters near Boston. But in the end, the wait led to the best cat possible.
Immanentize
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Just a question — but serious — do you believe “writer’s block” is a real thing?
John Cole
I want more cats. And a goat. And ducks.
Immanentize
@John Cole: Agree???
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Immanentize: I vary. I once couldn’t work on the book I was writing. I literally got sick at the thought of it. But I could write other things. Eventually I realized the book had gone wrong and some part of me knew it. I woke up one morning with an idea to change it, and then I could write it.
I admire the way reporters just sit down and write with no talk about writer’s block. They have a job to do.
TomatoQueen
@John Cole: A goat might keep the willow trimmed.
WereBear
@Immanentize: To jump in: not only is it a real thing, it has many different reasons to manifest.
My favorite book on the subject is sadly out of print: On Writer’s Block by Victoria Nelson. But available used.
Amir Khalid
My cat picked me. A kitten whom I would stop to greet en route to the bus stop decided I was her human and followed me home. That was 16 years ago, and she’s sleeping at my feet right now.
TaMara (HFG)
@John Cole: Llamas and emus for me.
Benw
@Immanentize: it’s fantastic that it’s so hard to adopt puppies and kitties! Does frustrate the young uns
;)
The Moar You Know
I would like another dog simply as it would be fair to my wife; I mean, who has ever heard of a golden retriever being a one person dog? But that’s what we got. A golden who loves people and loves the company of other dogs (we take him to doggie day care twice a week because we are those kind of people, and he gets to run around and brawl with about 20-30 other well behaved doggies) but who decided a long time ago when he was still a baby that he was MY dog. And the other problem; he loves other dogs, but we did enough puppysitting for Guide Dogs to know that he gets a lot less thrilled about other dogs if his humans are giving them equal treatment and he has to live with them.
Sadly, another decade will sort this out, as that is the heartbreaking tragedy of dogs.
WereBear
@Amir Khalid: I find those kinds of stories so delightful. They just know.
TaMara (HFG)
@Dorothy A. Winsor: It’s frustrating. I think I’m doing fine…and then wham! it feels like I got hit by a truck.
But the duration is shorter and the periods of feeling “normal” are longer. So I’ll take it. Thanks for asking.
raven
@The Moar You Know: We’re in the middle of that. Bohdi is doing as well as he can be for a 16 year old and we’re reluctant to think too much about another dog down the road.
Amir Khalid
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
As a reporter, I found it’s a bit easier to write when the story has already happened and you don’t have to figure out how it goes. There is also the added motivation of an editor (in the news context, a boss) breathing down your neck.
Virginia
I have a question for WereBear. I got a rescue cat at the end of February. He was supposed to be about three and had been abandoned at an apartment complex. He has relaxed over the past few months and has gotten on well with the dogs. He trusts me pretty well and while he will not sit on my lap, he will sit on the ottoman by my feet.
He is a biter though. When petting him he will bite and bite hard. I have been trying to discourage this by pushing into his mouth a bit when he bites. Is that a good idea at all? What is the best way to get him to stop biting?
laura
We took a pair of feral kittens in 2 years ago. We were game for A cat, but not two. But the idea of leaving the runt of the litter to fend for itself – and the household where the feral litter resided was moving. And so we adopted a pair of wild, desperate to escape tabbies. Now they’re confident young ladies. Spotty is a very big cat with an enormous tail. She’s a shoulder cat – just happy to hang out relaxed as can be. Chiona (mexican slang for crybaby) is still a tiny bit of a kitty – always ready to eat. She’s still very shy and on alert for stranger danger. But in the morning, after a breakfast, she makes a Beeline to the bed for cuddling and petting. Little tiny kitty wants and needs her whole belly held and naps for a good long while. Spotty loves to have her whole head rubbed like a baseball.
Chet the used weinie dog barely tolerates the attention focused on “not Chet” and will inevitably come poking around and run off the kiki.
All three love to be sung to and so I try and make a song for them about whatevers going on in the moment. It’s a mostly peaceable kingdom here at the casita de amor, but spouse is wistful about the fact that these cats may be our last as we get older.
Faithful Lurker
@Amir Khalid: We lived in KL for 2 years in the late 80’s. I was fascinated by the cats in the food courts with kinked tails. Does yours have that interesting trait?
Amir Khalid
@Virginia:
I am not Werebear, but as I understand it’s a kitten-play thing some older cats still need to outgrow. You could try yelling in exaggerated pain when he does it. He might catch on and realise he’s unintentionally causing you pain, and thus learn not to do it.
Amir Khalid
@Faithful Lurker:
Yes, she does. It’s very common in cats in Asia. Food courts like we had in the 1980s are no more, alas.
WereBear
@TaMara (HFG): Glad to hear!
WereBear
If this happens when you are petting him, I would flip it. Sit passively and let him pet himself. Hang a limp hand over the arm of the chair, hold out the Fist of Friendship and keep it still, lie on the floor and let him rub against whatever part of you he likes while you talk sweetly to him.
I have more tips here:
Dear Pammy, I’d like to pet my kitten more!
Also, what’s happening here is that he’s still wary, and completely not meaning too, it all becomes “too much.” We can easily miss their signals because they are having a good time… until they aren’t! It can happen suddenly, too.
So letting them set the pace avoids all that, and keeps us looking trustworthy and adorable :)
Virginia
@Amir Khalid: Thanks, I will try this.
Virginia
@WereBear: Thank you. I have been doing this some of the time. When he’s on the ottoman, I put my feet near him and he will put his feet on my leg. I think he was really traumatized early on as he is far warier than any cat I have ever had.
WereBear
@Virginia: Hand shy is sadly common. Sounds like you only need to adjust a little bit to make him happier. He’s biting to signal you, but you didn’t know what he meant.
Miss Bianca
@Dorothy A. Winsor: This reporter gets writer’s block! But it’s mostly procrastination – when I go *smunch* up against a deadline I can pull it out all right!
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Amir Khalid: @Miss Bianca: I will continue to admire you anyway!
Faithful Lurker
@Amir Khalid: Oh no! Did the virus put an end to the Courts or did the relentless gentrification that was just getting up steam while we were there do it. It seemed like all the interesting parts of KL were disappearing before our eyes and turning into sanitized perceived value boring westernized areas. I loved the night markets and the food courts and still miss the food.
Zelma
I reported four weeks ago that a sweet feral cat that I had been feeding for years decided to walk into my house one rainy day. I hadcalled him Piggy because he was such an enthusiastic eater, but I have decided to rename him Percy; it seems nicer.
Piggy/Percy retreated first to the top shelf of my utility closet and then, when my back was turned, under the bed in my guest room where he has remained. He uses the litter box without fail and comes out to eat, although I never see him do either during the day. Every night about 11:00, he comes out into the dining room. This is about the time I usually give a can of cat food to my deck ferals.
I give Percy some canned food and for the past few nights he has allowed me to pet him. But he is very skittish and always keeps himself between me and the bed so he can retreat. I think he is afraid I’ll put him out. He is also leery of my dog who had great fun barking at the deck cats and chasing them if he got the chance although Bandit got along fine with my indoor cat Simmons who left me just a few weeks before Percy waltzed in.
I am wondering how to deal with the situation. Percy seems perfectly content to live under the bed, but I’m not sure whether I should just be patient or whether I should do something. There is the possibility that someday I will again have guests. Any advice would be appreciated.
WereBear
@Zelma:
He’s telling you all kinds of things, moving past his fear to do so. I’d relax, and then he’ll relax, and you will move towards each other, faster.
Let him be, and let you be, and meet in the middle.
Amir Khalid
@Faithful Lurker:
It was the gentrification. While the parking-lot food courts were a great culinary adventure at night, they stank to high heaven in the daytime thanks to improperly disposed-of food waste. Plus, those parking lots were turned into office buildings and malls as KL got built up.
Faithful Lurker
@Amir Khalid: Well, I can understand that from a sanitation view but there was some great food coming from those food carts. I still grieve for garlic and black pepper coated fish grilled in banana leaves. I’m glad we were there when we were.
The Moar You Know
@raven: I’ll be chronologically good for one more; I’m in my mid fifties. Not going to EVER have a situation where a pet outlives me. As to whether I’ll ever be able to emotionally deal with another dog after this guy, well, I simply don’t know. His world has one lodestar and that’s me. I don’t know if I could deal with that again.
Man, Bodhi. 16 years. That’s a long, long time for a dog. May everything be as easy as possible for you and him.
suezboo
dear werebear, this rescue kitty has been with me since january. spayed girl. 2 years old. in that time, she has never sat on my lap or snuggled on or with me. i don’t think she hates me . she allows head and body pets and nose boops. the only time she touches me is if she needs my leg as a jumping point en route to somewhere. i really would like a more cuddly cat. is that possible?
Amir Khalid
@Faithful Lurker:
I miss ikan bakar too.
Quiltingfool
My sweet Baby was a rescue, sort of. I already had a cat, Miss Thing, and she ruled the roost. I was fine with that, but thought about having an outdoor cat. Well, one morning I get a call from my husband – one of the workers had a kitten in the back of his truck, with the truck bed topper down, so as to kill the kitten (summer, extremely hot, no water for the kitty). Supposedly it was his roommates’ kitten and was not wanted anymore. My husband was not happy about it, told me if I wanted the kitten to come get it. I was thrilled, but was wondering how Miss Thing would be with a kitten. He, not being very cat-knowledgeable, said she’s gonna have to get over it. Well, got the kitty, she was so thirsty and covered with fleas, but just wanted to be loved. Miss Thing hated her, but Baby really didn’t care. They tolerated each other, but never hung out together. The closest they got to each other was hanging out on the ironing board, carefully spaced apart, because I was sewing and they wanted to be around me. Miss Thing has passed on, so Baby now rules the roost. She is the boss!
WereBear
Maybe. Cats consider their mere presence to be a gift, and not all of them like merging physical boundaries — this much.
However, we might be sending the wrong signals that we don’t realize are turning our cat away from the extra cuddling we’d like. Some cats like closeness, but not movement. Some cats like petting, but only in certain places.
Here’s some tips to test drive some lap cat action:
Dear Pammy, My cat is a lap cat now!
WereBear
Why we need no-kill shelters. And humane animal laws.
Faithful Lurker
@Amir Khalid: I bought an agate bracelet, like the jade ones that Chinese women wear and wear it still. It won’t come off. It makes me think of Malaysia and SE Asia. I loved it and am really glad I had the chance to live there and not just be a tourist.
WaterGirl
@WereBear: You are nicer than I am. My first thought was:
Step 1: rescue the kitty
Step 2: put the asshole in the truck in the same circumstances and see how he likes it.
greenergood
@Quiltingfool: @WereBear: I read this and thought ‘who would do this to a kitten?’ Like if you’re pissed off at the human you live with, then you’d take revenge by killing a kitten? And then I thought, ‘Well, yes, how many children are killed in the world because their dads are pissed off (more numerous, but sometimes desperate), or their moms (less numerous, but often desperate) . And then I thought of cows and pigs and chickens in feedlots in the centre of America – when it gets really, really hot – and the livestock. whether two-footed or four-footed – live through horrendous conditions – and probably lots of them die and get turned into cat and dog-food. I’m not a vegetarian, or a vegan -though my diet is very diminished in animal protein – but people have eaten two-legs of the avian persuasion and four-legs of the fur persuasion for a million years or more. But if we want to keep eating animal protein, we need to cut right back, close the ridiculous markets, stop the antibiotics, lived like our ancestors did – when animal protein was a precious resource, not a $1 burget at McD’s. A feedlot of miserable cows, born to eat grass, that live on corn that gives them stomach lesions, so they have to eat antibiotics to reduce the stomach lesions (and ‘fatten’ them up): is this really the beef you want to eat? The whole animal-human inter-relationship needs to be looked at – we are happy now that cats and dogs are better treated in shelters – and are more readily adopted – but there’s a whole lot of animals out there that need to some better attention too
Aleta
@suezboo: Like you, I really wanted a lap cat. I had one cat who would only make body contact when I was lying down. She’d only lie on top of me. And was happiest then than any other time.
The one I have now: for many years she’d curl up once a night, briefly when I lay down, and leave as soon as I moved slightly. About 2-3 years ago, she changed into a near-lap companion. Wants closeness and tolerates a lot more petting. She used to have sensitive ripply skin and anxiety, which made her sensitive to touch—she’d ask to be petted, then hiss and lash out. She’s changed now.
Experiment-wise, I’ve noticed two things that made my cats temporarily more affectionate and come closer. 1– receiving an extra good thing to eat (a piece of pure meat, a dab of butter, etc.). 2– when the house gets cold. The colder it gets, the closer to the lap they come.
The extra-good piece of food made them temporarily settle down closer, washing their face. If it has that effect on your cat, you could try making a ritual of it, at the same time of night/day. She might wait for it and want the ritual.
You could also try putting a wool thing (or clean laundry) or a cat heating pad 2-3 feet away from your lap on a chilly night.
(Funny story: We used to have cats who hated to be near each other. But if the power was out and house getting cold, they’d start to drift into the same room … suddenly togetherness was no problem. Eventually they’d all be sleeping on the couch within a foot of each other. When ‘survival’ was the issue they seemed to drop their territory issues.)
A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)
Zelma: It sounds to me like Percy is doing well. He is letting you pet him, which for a feral is a big deal. In my experience, he will come out from under the bed when he is ready to. Just have patience,.
satby
@laura: I too get a bit wistful thinking that the members of this crew are probably the last pets I’ll have, because I don’t want to leave any elderly, infirm companions to fate if something happened to me. I’m not that old, only mid-60s, but the youngest street cats I took in will easily get me close to age 80 if they live a reasonable kitty lifespan. And if I take in any more dogs after these two, it will be senior dogs only.
randy khan
How a new cat changes the dynamics of a household really is fascinating.
A new (totally adorable, of course) kitten arrived in our house over the summer, joining 4 other cats. The one she’s bonded with (and who has bonded equally with her) is the scourge of the other cats, to the point that we had been keeping him in a cage much of the time so that they get some peace. (He is perfectly fine in the cage – the other cats walk by and he doesn’t do anything more than nod at them.) But she and he chase each other all over the house, happily tussle on the floor, and sleep together. It’s been good for him because what he now has an object of his attention, and good for the other cats because, well, he now has an object for his attention.
Meanwhile, the kitten is working on cat #2, who seems to have decided the kitten may not be a close buddy, but at least is tolerable. It may take a while longer for #3 and #4.
MTC
I adopted 3 cats over the summer and have had problems with 2 of them getting along. Mainly the issue seems to be that Hamish (approx. 6 years old and an impressive 15 lbs.) often stalks and sometimes attacks Fae (approx. 1 year old and only 8 lbs.). Given the size differential, the attacks can be brutal and Fae’s come away with some scrapes and now largely avoids him, while Hamish is super sweet with me and only rarely attacks the other kitty Alice (who at 5 years old and 12 lbs. is better able to defend herself). The vet and shelters they were adopted from think this could be stemming from the fact that Fae was recently fixed after having a litter of kittens and could still be going through hormonal changes that he’s picking up on and that it could take some months for the physical changes to work themselves out. Based on their suggestions, I’ve installed Feliway diffusers in 2 rooms and have a calming collar on Hamish, all of which has seemed to help a little. I mostly separate them into different rooms or keep a close eye on where they are in relation to each other and have just purchased a large playpen that I can put Hamish in when he’s getting aggressive so that he’s still in the room, but unable to hurt Fae. Any other suggestions that you have for how to discourage Hamish from stalking and attacking Fae would be greatly appreciated.
WereBear
If Fae is new, I don’t see anything wrong with Hamish’s playpen arrangement, as long as he is cool with it. It gives each of them a break.
I think policing their interactions would also reassure both of them. I call it Boss of Cat Town. We enforce fairness. And I agree about the hormones triggering such behavior.
I’ve come to see how the close quarters of even a large house is not the same mental and physical distance as it would be in nature. Some of cat harassment is how this messes up their instincts. Territory would expand but in homes they are on top of each other and each is wondering why the other is crowding them.
But creating a territory just for Hamish “shrinks the world” he feels responsible for. He calms down, she calms down. I’ve seen it happen with cats who would go in and out of their quarantine room. They would move into the bigger space and the concerned cat would explore their quarantine room.
It gives them mental boundaries, and more room — in their minds.
My number one advice for such cat conflicts is patience. How quickly would we adapt to some stranger on the doorstep, being introduced as our New Lifetime Roommate?
I think we’d be a bit wary for a while :)
WereBear
@randy khan:
I am just wrapping up a new post about Sir Tristan’s up and down relationship with his Biggest Fan, the teen cat, Bud Abbott. I just negotiated a disagreement, and they are eating from bowls side by side again.
I think hurt feelings are the biggest motivator in cat conflicts. Having one’s friendship overture rejected always hurts.
WereBear
@MTC: Also, if Hamish is super sweet with you, it might be that he would benefit from some special attention from you, away from the other cats. I take such a cat into a room with a closed door and love them up.
He might not relax into it if other cats are there to see him all mushy.
MTC
@WereBear: thank you for the advice and reassurance. I’ve been closing Hamish in the bedroom with me at bedtime and he enjoys several minutes of snuggle time before finding a spot nearby to curl up for the night. I’ve also tried to spend some extra time just playing with him because while he does seem to enjoy playing, he tends to do so roughly, sometimes because he doesn’t appear to understand his own strength. Fae has also found several safety spots where she can keep an eye on him during the day and at night, she and Alice seem to love playtime together when he’s in the other room. Again, thank you for your expertise and encouragement.
Sab
@satby: My thinking exactly. Cats live 20 years, so at 66 I am too old for more young ones. That’s okay. We have five.
Our last remaining dog died suddenly a couple of months ago. She was only ten. We still have my uncle’s cocker (who loves being the only dog, since that is how he was brought up.)
Our shyest cat is pining for the rottmix dog, who was her best friend and protector.
We need a new dog, but it must be medium/largeish, and middle-aged, and cat friendly, and up for adoption. Hard combination to find. People keep those.
When we were younger adoptable pets just turned up on our doorstep all the time. Not so much anymore. I guess our human kids are becoming responsible adults.