Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

The words do not have to be perfect.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

People are complicated. Love is not.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

We still have time to mess this up!

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Democrats are back in array!

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

When they say they’re pro-life, they don’t mean yours.

It’s not hopeless, and we’re not helpless.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

So many bastards, so little time.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

This blog will pay for itself.

I did not have this on my fuck 2024 bingo card.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Contest: 7 Words or Less

Contest: 7 Words or Less

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Let’s have a *contest.  Describe Trump in 7 words or less.

Don’t complain about him, don’t worry about him.  I suggest we limit ourselves to just derision and mockery.

I am including my spirit animal for inspiration.

Open Thread, 60 Minutes, I Will Vote Concert

*Inspired by The Moar You Know, who who included the description “second generation slumlord” in a comment in the previous thread.

 

Reader Interactions

136Comments

  5. 5.

    David Hunt

    I’ve always liked “Collection of cancerous cysts inside human skin”

    But “Seventy-four year old toddler” might be more accurate, if less emotionally satisfying.

  7. 7.

    daryljfontaine

    Enormous, mendacious, disembodied anus.

    A braindead person’s idea of effective leadership.

    D

  8. 8.

    Boris Rasputin (the evil twin)

    “Midas in Reverse”

    Though the Scottish invective “Ya Tangerine Ballsac!” has its charms.

    “Something Wicked This Way Comes” works too.

  13. 13.

    WaterGirl

    @Baud: I really wanted to find an image of Paul Lassiter (from Spin City) making the loser sign.  I loved that he was proud of it – when people would make the loser sign at him, he thought it was the “L” from Lassiter, and meant as a compliment.

  19. 19.

    eric

    The answer is simple.  In the same way “hoover” is a presidential insult, the word “trump” is going to be far worse.  It will be used whenever some shithead is a mendacious, narcissistic, and destructive loser.  Basically “Newt” on steroids.

  28. 28.

    West of the Rockies

    “Sociopathic” is a personality  disorder, so does it reduce Trump’s culpability to some degree?  I don’t want to describe him in a way that is just petty or inaccurate or has to do with something  beyond  his control and making…

    Soulless, heartless, greedy, dishonest, predatory, shallow buffoon.

  30. 30.

    TomatoQueen

    I see moshpotato  hasn’t been here yet.

     

    Under-educated, badly dressed, social-climbing deadbeat PRICK.

  34. 34.

    JanieM

    “second third generation slumlord”

    And from brothels (maybe) to Epstein..

    PS I’ve referred to him as Clickbait since 2016 so as not to provide him with clickbait by typing his name. But I like Baud’s suggestion at #1 the best.

  40. 40.

    dmsilev

    @eric: Friend of mine was telling me that his seven year old daughter uses “Trump” as a playground insult. Usage: “You’re such a Trump!”.

    I, of course, congratulated him on his parenting skills.

  41. 41.

    AirSpencer

    I went looking for the name of the magazine that dubbed him “short fingered  vulgarian” (SPY) and found this glorious graf from 2015(!) containing several excellent qualifying entries:

    And of all the SPY celebrity villains, it was Donald Trump, the “short-fingered vulgarian,” they loathed most of all in those early years. Trump was also described as “Queens-born casino operator”; “ugly-cuff-link buff”; “well-fed condo hustler”; “joyless punk millionaire”; “employer-of-white-people”; “tiresome punk infidel”; “the wife-dumping Atlantic City strongman”; and I’m sure a dozen or more other descriptions I’ve missed in those glorious archives.

    https://pando.com/2015/07/23/short-fingered-vulgarian-cometh/

    “wife-dumping Atlantic City strongman” may be my favorite.

    (first time, long time)

  49. 49.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Baud: This is, in fact, the fucking answer.

    I’d also submit “Whiny Ass Titty Baby” and append “Loser” at the end of that.

  51. 51.

    pat

    Say it really fast, like we did in school…

    dirty rotten evil mean and nasty

     

    dirtyrottenevilmeanandnasty

  58. 58.

    different-church-lady

    @WaterGirl:  Screw the leftover words: what did you fix today that improved loading times so drastically on this 12 year old Mac? (I ought to go to the 6 year old iPad and see if the same thing happened…)

  60. 60.

    There's no such thing as a good Republican

    Sociopathic, narcissistic, outrageously stupid, Adderall-addicted toddler.

  67. 67.

    mrmoshpotato

    Traitorous orange Soviet shitpile mobster conman manbaby.

    How’d you know, suggestive text?

  76. 76.

    Frank Wilhoit

    Infantile; therefore, sadistic, paranoid, and credulous.

    This also describes his enablers and supporters, with the debatable and obscure exceptions of those who are only looking for opportunities to steal.

  83. 83.

    Almost Retired

    @Jim Bales: Festering colonic Abbess?  I think you meant “festering colonic abscess.”  Unless you’re suggesting that he’s some sort of nun with an appointment with a gastroenterologist?  That works too…..

  86. 86.

    Another Scott

    Racist, demented, ugly American, father of Birtherism.

    (Now to read the other replies…)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  87. 87.

    Tony Jay

    No, but I can do it in eight.

    Grifter, traitor, loser, failure, racist, poor man, deadbeat, thief.

  91. 91.

    Ajabu

    As a tribute to The paternal heritage of my forever president I offer:
    Nguruwe mzungukeni. (Swahili)

    Colloquially – Go around the pig.

    literally – pigs around you.

    Works either way…

  92. 92.

    Juliet

    I always think of so many descriptions but “asshole” is the only word I end up uttering. Simple and to the point!

  94. 94.

    Skepticat

    An evil, narcissistic, infantile smellfungus (someone who always finds fault with and criticizes everything).

  120. 120.

    Glidwrith

    @Glidwrith: 

    Greedy, vainglorious, slothful, spleen-venting, lustridden, preening, gluttonous

    I wish to amend:
    Greedy, vainglorious, slothful, spleen-venting, lustridden, preening glutton

  123. 123.

    Uncle Cosmo

    Stupid, callous, fragile, classless, crooked, vile, atrocious.

    (or has that already been taken?)

  124. 124.

    Dr. Omed

    Imagine Melania holding thumb and forefinger a quarter inch apart: “Eets theess beeg, theess beeg!”

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