Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Good lord, these people are nuts.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Let there be snark.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

I really should read my own blog.

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

No one could have predicted…

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Republicans in disarray!

Putin dreamed of ending NATO, and now it’s Finnish-ed.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night Open Thread: ‘Shooty McStarFace’ Wuz ROBBED

Late Night Open Thread: ‘Shooty McStarFace’ Wuz ROBBED

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A hundred years from now, historians (assuming such still exist) will be explaining that ‘Mike Pence’ was no more a real person than ‘Santa Claus’; obviously he was a cartoon figure invented to explain generic GOP risibility to small children…


(I’d have gone for an elaborate riff about Pence dying at the hands of an irascible bioengineered raccoon… which is one reason I’m not on twitter.)

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90Comments

  2. 2.

    Elizabelle

    That

    Heritage * Mission * Culture

    is kinda creepy.  “Heritage” is another word that has been appropriated by the whackaloon set, along with “freedom” and “liberty”.

    And “Culture” is downright amusing, because it’s the only type of war Pence or Trump would ever show up for.

  3. 3.

    JAFD

    Brainteaser for you jackals:

    You go into lobby of big fancy hotel.

    There’s a chess tournament going on there.  It’s between rounds, all the players are in the lobby, talking about their latest victories.

    What month of the year is it ?

     

     

    December, of course…

     

    …”Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer…”

  4. 4.

    Leto

    Avalune and I discussed this tonight and we both agreed, after the massive hacking that Russia has done to us over the past four years, what we need right now is a fucking cartoon “space farce”. We def didn’t need to take that money and put it into further cyber infrastructure, or standup an independent cyber command, nope, needed “SPACE FARCE!” Fucking kill it dead Jan 21st. Fold that shit back into the AF and move the fuck along.

  6. 6.

    Elizabelle

    @JAFD:   Saw a joke of sorts on a WaPost reader comments thread today.  Don’t recall which one.  It was:

    McConnell, Trump and Barr are drowning in a pond as you pass by on your way to lunch.

    What wine do you order with your meal?

  7. 7.

    JoyceH

    @Elizabelle: I noticed that too.  “Mission” is just noise until you know what the mission is, but “heritage” and “culture” sound more appropriate to a southern small town genealogical society than to a SPACE force. Guessing the first Space Force commissioned vessel will be the USS Robert E. Lee?

  8. 8.

    Elizabelle

    @Leto:  And focusing on threats from space, when we have a pandemic, a crashed economy, and, as you mention, a massive hacking we don’t know the extent of.

    This is going to be a long month.

  9. 9.

    lurker

    @JAFD: speaking as someone for whom that joke fits my personal sense of humor …

     

    you should consider counseling, 12 step programs (multiple)… really anything

     

    (not that I personally am getting any better about the daddest of dad jokes, but there might be hope for you ….)

  15. 15.

    Elizabelle

    @lurker:   I laughed.

    @LesGS:   Champagne was a definite choice.  Somebody might have said any wine went with that occasion.

    Wish I could remember which WaPost story it was.  Those villains appear in so many of them.

  16. 16.

    frosty

    @lurker: @JAFD: When did the worst, most groaner puns, morph into dad jokes? And are there other types of jokes that qualify?

    And yes, that chess joke was a stinker!

  17. 17.

    Jay

    @Elizabelle:

    it’s about militarizing space so that no other Nation can use it, and deploying weapons that can  “precision” strike anywhere on the planet in seconds.

    The logical end result, is that they will develop the weapons, eventually use them, and then any near peer opponent will then use their relatively crude “satellite killers”, creating a debris field that will forever bar humans and human technology from space.

  18. 18.

    SiubhanDuinne

    GUARDIANS:
    A NAME CHOSEN BY SPACE PROFESSIONALS, FOR SPACE PROFESSIONALS

    I can’t be the only one here who finds this, as a slogan, both preposterous and yet somehow quite perfect for the Space Farce project.

  19. 19.

    Elizabelle

    @Jay:  Sounds like a giant money suck and sop to defense contractors.  Galactic grifting!

    Biden needs to hit the “abort mission” button.

  20. 20.

    frosty

    @Jay: Wasn’t there a treaty somewhere way back that declared space would always be demilitarized? How did we get a Space Farce declared? Or am I just being a liberal la-la pollyanna again?

  22. 22.

    Leto

    @Elizabelle: I’m thinking just from a national security perspective here (all of what you listed qualifies), but cyber is the domain where we’ve transitioned most of our key communications/intelligence/assets. We’re digitally linked across every facet of our lives. Also you can’t control any of the space assets without a comm up/downlink. The majority of our military operations do depend on satellites working, but they’re not in danger of being shot down. All the spoofing/jamming equipment is here on the ground. It’s easier to do that (the Iranians did it when they brought down an RQ-170 about 6 years ago) than it is to shoot down a satellite.

    It’s hallmark Trumpov dumb. I’m still gobsmacked that it happened, even though I shouldn’t be. Defund it, send the appropriate components back to their respective branches/agencies, and never speak of this again (unless we’re pointing out how incredibly stupid this was).

  23. 23.

    Leto

    @frosty: If there’s not a permanent space station where we can station those dopes, then how can they call themselves a space farce? Navy has both ships and bases. There’s sea duty and land duty. Unless space farce has “space duty” they’re not a “space force”.

    @Elizabelle: No, those are totally not Star Trek uniforms. I know that commanders are in red, enlisted in yellow, medical in blue… but that’s totally not Star Trek… they’re space force right? Should be an all black uniform so they blend in with their natural environment. Or it should be an all grey uniform so it blends in with the equipment racks that most of these people spend the majority of their time around.

  24. 24.

    eddie blake

    @Leto:

    in post TOS trek, command IS in red, but gold/yellow is for security and engineering and blue is for medical and sciences.

  27. 27.

    Leto

    @frosty: Yes (and we signed on to it in 1967):

    The Outer Space Treaty at a Glance

    Treaty Terms

    The treaty forbids countries from deploying “nuclear weapons or any other kinds of weapons of mass destruction” in outer space. The term “weapons of mass destruction” is not defined, but it is commonly understood to include nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons. The treaty, however, does not prohibit the launching of ballistic missiles, which could be armed with WMD warheads, through space. The treaty repeatedly emphasizes that space is to be used for peaceful purposes, leading some analysts to conclude that the treaty could broadly be interpreted as prohibiting all types of weapons systems, not just WMD, in outer space.

    The treaty’s key arms control provisions are in Article IV. States-parties commit not to:

    – Place in orbit around the Earth or other celestial bodies any nuclear weapons or objects carrying WMD.

    – Install WMD on celestial bodies or station WMD in outer space in any other manner.

    – Establish military bases or installations, test “any type of weapons,” or conduct military exercises on the moon and other celestial bodies.

    Other treaty provisions underscore that space is no single country’s domain and that all countries have a right to explore it. These provisions state that:

    – Space should be accessible to all countries and can be freely and scientifically investigated.

    – Space and celestial bodies are exempt from national claims of ownership.

    – Countries are to avoid contaminating and harming space or celestial bodies.

    – Countries exploring space are responsible and liable for any damage their activities may cause.

    – Space exploration is to be guided by “principles of cooperation and mutual assistance,” such as obliging astronauts to provide aid to one another if needed.

  28. 28.

    Elizabelle

    Scrolling through replies to the official government twitter account, with the official government announcement.

    From Giant Military Cats:

    Did a dog write this?

  29. 29.

    Leto

    @eddie blake: thinking specifically about the AF, or Space Farce, those colors would fall right in line. Officers would be in red, most of the enlisted would be in yellow (most of our career fields are engineering oriented, especially in Comm; security forces (military cops) def yellow), and medical fits right in. Idk, we could give all the rest a nice shade of green.

    @Elizabelle: It is/was! Some dumbass suggested it to him, told him how great it would be in securing his legacy if he created a whole new branch of the military. Space farce! And Melania would have a hand in designing the uniforms, Javanka would use those new Chinese patents/contacts to manufacture said uniforms… the cheeto would get to say that those were “his generals”…

    I get really angry/annoyed any time someone mentions this shit show. I totally understand what you guys mean by wasteful military spending and this fucking nails it 1000%!

  30. 30.

    Jay

    @Elizabelle:

    It’s not a “grift”, it’s just an expansion of the Military-Industrial Socialism. Platforms already exist, and 99% of “Rods from God”, tech already exist, along with satellite “snooping”. ( That’s where in a guided close pass, the technology/sensors of a foreign satellite can be assessed.”

    @frosty:

    there is a global treaty “preventing” the Militarization of Space, other than, you know, comms, spies guidance system, ASat Weapons, etc,

    You know, one of those useless ones that only apply outside the G8 plus one.

  31. 31.

    Fair Economist

    Long ago a friend of mine ran a roleplaying game set in a fascistic world where the rulers prevented the souls of the dead from going to the afterlife by having the souls killed. The secret police that killed souls were called – Guardians. Has Trump been cribbing from his GM notes?

  32. 32.

    frosty

    @Leto: Thanks! So this whole Space Farce is against a treaty and Biden can kill it without worrying about anything but the RWNJs.

    I wonder why no one pushed back against Trump on this? Haha I slay myself.

  35. 35.

    MoCA Ace

    Sweet Jebus, I can see it now… like the trial scene from Monty Python’s The life of Brian!!

    (smartass GOP intern furiously waving hand)  I know, I know… lets call them guardians (stifles laugh).  Only to have Pence or one of Emperor Tang’s idiot henchmen latch on to it.  After a few more meetings said intern is too fucking embarrassed to admit it was just a joke so here we are!

    Guardians of the Galaxy… only in this fucking timeline they work FOR Thanos!

  36. 36.

    Frankensteinbeck

    ‘Heritage’ and ‘culture’ are white supremacist slogans and do not belong any-fucking-where near any American military branch’s motto.

    EDIT – I don’t know why this, specifically, infuriates me so much, but it does.

  40. 40.

    Jay

    @frosty:

    It’s against the “spirit” of the Treaty,

    It’s not against the letter of the Treaty.

    Biden will probably “kill” the Space Farce, but more so because it’s a usurpation of projects/programs/missions/assets that the USAF has had since Ronald Raygun.

  41. 41.

    Steeplejack

    January: Space Dudes
    February: Space Dudes and Space Dudettes
    March: Spacepersons
    April: Spacetroops
    May: Spaceforcers
    June: Spaceketeers
    July: Starmen and Starwomen
    August: Groots
    September: Grootians
    October: U.S. Starines
    November: Stardustians
    December: Guardians

    — southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) December 18, 2020

  45. 45.

    NotMax

    Attention, insomniacs. TCM airing The Silent Partner at 4 a.m. Eastern. Rarely shown heist film (remake of an earlier Danish movie) with Susannah York, Elliott Gould and Christopher Plummer. Also a very young John Candy.

  46. 46.

    patrick II

    Everyone else has probably already figured this out — but it just struck me that because early shipments of a two-step vaccine are late, there is more to it than just some people not getting shots now, but later — can you trust that you can keep your schedule for the second shot or will be they not be on time?  Should you slow down your local vaccination rate locally even if you currently have more vaccine to assure that when the second shot is due there is enough vaccine?  Or do you go ahead and give the first shot, betting on the dependability of the Trump government sending enough vaccine for all of the second shots on time?

    The inconsistency may slow things down more than is apparent.

  48. 48.

    Jay

    But quickly you’ll realize something: You’ve been left in the lurch. Bad actors have been building fantastical, tremendous tales with truly villainous bad guys. Entire cinematic universes. A hydra of Ruby Freemans, whose actual identities they’ve shucked and discarded for fame and profit. And you have no defense.

    The news should be providing that defense.

    A lot of America slipped into conspiracy thinking during this pandemic, and they got there from yoga Instagrams and NFL forums and private church choir Facebook groups that were systematically invaded by QAnon and anti-vax recruiters. It’s going to be a rude awakening in the next few months as we find out which of our friends got sucked into truly astonishing tales of New World Orders and Great Resets that helped them cope — and just so happen to be spectacularly wrong.

    https://www.niemanlab.org/2020/12/we-need-to-learn-how-to-talk-to-and-about-accidental-conspiracists/

  49. 49.

    Kent

    @patrick II: NPR was talking this morning about theorizing by some doctors/scientists that one dose may provide adequate protection and that they should be considering ongoing trials of one dose of Pfizer and Moderna to test their efficacy in the event that we can perhaps alternatively switch to giving everyone a first dose now and then the booster in 6 months or so as a way of bringing the pandemic to a quicker end.

  50. 50.

    Sloegin

    Zero out all the budget lines, deny all promotions and end recruitment, let the Guardians suck vacuum.

  51. 51.

    Steeplejack

    Watching Secret Agent on one of my fourth-tier cable channels, and Patrick McGoohan is lurking in a cabaret in Beirut as an impoverished artist while a chanteuse (Jeanne Roland) does a jazzy version of the Zombies’ “She’s Not There” in French. Trippy. And pretty good.

  55. 55.

    lgerard

    Expect trump to issue another EO to create some type of Space Force Advisory Board and appoint a bunch of unqualified wingnuts and religious cranks to it this week

  57. 57.

    Kent

    @patrick II: Remember that the drug companies don’t really have a big incentive to test the efficacy of single dose regimes because that would cut their potential profit in half.  So this is something that the FDA or other organizations might need to do themselves.  Pfizer has no incentive to spend lots of $$$ on another phase 3 trial of just one dose if it means cutting their long-term potential profit in half.

  61. 61.

    mrmoshpotato

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  63. 63.

    Jay

    @NotMax:

    that was “Trek after Dark” wear,

    it’s always dark in space.

    Shatner’s “to go where no man has gone before” uniform.

  64. 64.

    patrick II

    @Kent:  that sounds right, but trials take a while even though there are plenty of “volunteers” right now, no one is receiving blanks (I hope) as a control. In the meantime, we may find out whether one-shot works from necessity, not choice, forced upon us by incompetence.

    And I am embarrassed by this.  I worked in Army logistics for 20 years, and one thing I thought the Army could do is logistics. (they are using the military aren’t they?)

  66. 66.

    Jay

    @patrick II:

    as far as we know, the Military are managing part of the logistics.

    pretty sure that when they get direction to manage shipment from point a to b, they do.

    Who is managing direction?

  72. 72.

    Geminid

    @Amir Khalid: there is a “Space Force March”, so the space opera already has an overture.                                The Space Force motto is “Semper Supra”, Always Above.

  73. 73.

    Craig

    @NotMax: thanks. West Coast bonus. That was, singular? Genuine weird heist movie, that I couldn’t predict. Dug it. Curtis Hanson as a writer makes sense.

  75. 75.

    Tony Jay

    @SiubhanDuinne: 

    GUARDIANS
    A NAME CHOSEN BY SPACE PROFESSIONALS FOR SPACE PROFESSIONALS

    I don’t know about you but to me that tag-line encapsulates everything worth knowing about Pettygrift’s backalley storefront of an Administration.

    “Yeah, sure, it’s totally ripped-off from a more successful fictional franchise, but we couldn’t be bothered taking it seriously and anyway, don’t blame us, it was totally the ‘space professionals’ fault. Respect their Service!”

    Even the advertising blurb is a ripped-off movie template. Shameless, lazy huckstering in service of one babyman’s collapsing ego, thrown-up out of shoddy materials with no expectation it will have to last more than a few weeks.

    Trumpy.

  79. 79.

    NotMax

    @J R in WV

    No joke, that’s real close to an accurate description of the original design proposed for the uniformed contingent of the Department of Homeland Security during the Bush/Cheney administration.

  80. 80.

    evodevo

    @patrick II:  Yes.  This.  Especially among suspicious covidiots…when they have the normal flu shot-type reaction, i.e. slight fever, malaise, etc. for 24 hours, they will claim they were given covid (like they claim the flu shot gave them the flu), and never go back for the second shot…I work among these people, and this would be the game-ender for them…

  81. 81.

    Anomalous Cowherd

    Heck, I believe that “Mike Pence” is none other than “Otto Pilot” from the movie Airplane!  I mean, both have identical emotional gamuts.

  83. 83.

    Chief Oshkosh

    @Frankensteinbeck: Totally agree. For anyone not experienced with the South, heritage and culture mean white supremacy. Sadly, the use has spread since Reagan, but heritage and culture is all about hate.

    Plus, how the fuckity fuck fuck can a brand spankin’ new organization have a heritage? Heritage of what, for fuck’s sake?

  84. 84.

    kindness

    Modern conservative dogma is so telling.  They say stuff that anyone with a passing notion of history would react by pulling back in horror.  But the essence of modern conservatism is all there.  They refuse to recognize history and absolutely believe they are the chosen special ones, so they will pass off warmed over royal/dictator notions without even seeing what they are doing.  Russia is bad but these folk are the biggest threat our Republic faces.  The phone calls coming from inside the house.

  85. 85.

    Ken

    @matt the somewhat reasonable: Imagine how bad the names they rejected must have been.

    The official announcement does say it involved the general public.  You’d think they’d have learned from the IAU’s experience with “name an exoplanet”. XKCD captured the flavor of the results; many of the actual suggestions were unprintable, even for this nearly-top-10000 blog.

    Explain XKCD notes a couple of other orgs that got burned this way, including:

    [PepsiCo] had to shut down the contest in order to avoid naming the new beverage “Hitler did nothing wrong” which was the current leader at the time and only marginally the most inappropriate of the top ten voted suggestions.

  86. 86.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Steeplejack: You mean he wasn’t

    Swinging on the Riviera one day
    And then lying in a Bombay alley next day“

    ? :^D

    (FWIW I consider “Secret Agent Man” the best song Johnny Rivers ever cut.)

  88. 88.

    Just Chuck

    @Fair Economist: 

    Long ago a friend of mine ran a roleplaying game set in a fascistic world where the rulers prevented the souls of the dead from going to the afterlife by having the souls killed

    So in other words he was a Scientologist

  89. 89.

    Just Chuck

    Honestly I dont want Biden to kill the Space Force.  I just want him to lower its budget to just enough space to rent out a single office in a strip mall.  Furniture not included.  Personnel budget being minimum wage for one member.  That person can be the Space Force.

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