• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Second rate reporter says what?

We still have time to mess this up!

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Humorous / These Guys are Speaking My Language

These Guys are Speaking My Language

by John Cole|  December 28, 20207:36 pm| 158 Comments

This post is in: Humorous

FacebookTweetEmail

Great ad, or greatest ad?

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Repub Stupidity Open Thread: “Led By Rep. Louie Gohmert”
Next Post: On The Road – Origuy – Road Trip 2006 Part Two On The Road - Origuy - Road Trip 2006 Part Two 5»

Reader Interactions

158Comments

  1. 1.

    laura

    December 28, 2020 at 7:45 pm

    Great – but more of a Public Service Announcement.

  2. 2.

    Ruckus

    December 28, 2020 at 7:45 pm

    So now everybody speaks the language I learned in my childhood and understood was supposed to be said quietly.

    Of course that was before 2020 and the crappiest election of my life, electing shitforbrains as president.

    And of course I have to join in.

    FUCK YOU SHITFORBRAINS AND FUCK YOU 2020

  3. 3.

    Eunicecycle

    December 28, 2020 at 7:47 pm

    I think I’ve used some version of fuck more often this year than in my whole life before. Usually in reference to Trump or some other asshole. It’s just such an all-purpose word to express anger and exasperation.

  4. 4.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 28, 2020 at 7:48 pm

    @Eunicecycle: Same.

  5. 5.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 7:52 pm

    Meh.

  6. 6.

    Wyatt Salamanca

    December 28, 2020 at 7:55 pm

    Great PSA!

    Fuck Trump, Pence, Moscow Mitch, brain dead Kevin McCarthy and, last but not least, fuck that goddamn asshole Giuliani.

  7. 7.

    AnotherBruce

    December 28, 2020 at 7:57 pm

    @Ruckus: 2020 is full of assholes, you can smell the shit!

  8. 8.

    laura

    December 28, 2020 at 7:59 pm

    @Wyatt Salamanca: Hey! Now is Not The Time to be stingy – there’s plenty enough fucks to go around for every last fucking fucker. Fuck all of those trump adjacent fuckers.

  9. 9.

    PaulWartenberg

    December 28, 2020 at 8:00 pm

    FUCK YOU MASKLESS PROUD BOY/KAREN TRUMP-WORSHIPPING ASSHOLES!

  10. 10.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 8:00 pm

    Guess this provides opportunity to make mention of History of Swear Words, arriving on Netflix January 5th.

  11. 11.

    Baud

    December 28, 2020 at 8:01 pm

    @AnotherBruce:

    you can smell the shit deuce!

  12. 12.

    satby

    December 28, 2020 at 8:05 pm

    To answer the question: greatest ad

  13. 13.

    prostratedragon

    December 28, 2020 at 8:05 pm

    Sympathetic as I am to each and every one of those fuck yous (if I think about it I can probably add some that they missed), it was the woman with the laptop that made me howl.

  14. 14.

    Cameron

    December 28, 2020 at 8:06 pm

    https://youtu.be/EFsZRQL6QdI

  15. 15.

    Roger Moore

    December 28, 2020 at 8:10 pm

    @Eunicecycle:

    I remember getting to work one day this year and saying very loudly- I don’t think it was a shout, but someone else might disagree with me- “2020 can fuck right the hell off”.  I am not the kind of person who said that at work before this year, and my workplace is not the kind of place where people would have said it, but this year nobody batted an eye.  I don’t even remember what specifically triggered it, but this is the kind of year where somebody could act that way and everyone would understand.

  16. 16.

    burnspbesq

    December 28, 2020 at 8:12 pm

    A-fucking-men.

  17. 17.

    debbie

    December 28, 2020 at 8:13 pm

    I can’t figure out what that masked-up man is saying at the very end.

  18. 18.

    raven

    December 28, 2020 at 8:13 pm

    Two fish in a bucket
    Just say fuck it
    Two snakes in the grass
    Kiss my ass

  19. 19.

    Inspectrix

    December 28, 2020 at 8:15 pm

    After reading the comments, I think I’d better save this one for after the kiddos go to bed!

  20. 20.

    Mike in NC

    December 28, 2020 at 8:18 pm

    As we wrap up a ghastly year and contemplate the evil and stupidity of Donald J. Trump and his henchmen and henchwomen, many people are compiling their Top Ten (or Top 50, maybe) lists of the most insane shit that we had to endure from this grifting lunatic. I plan to collect and savor them all.

    A personal favorite was his deranged interest in buying Greenland from Denmark, and selling Puerto Rico to Mexico or whoever he could scam into making an offer. Trump’s downfall may eventually be directly traced to the Battle of Lafayette Square, where he tried to pretend he was his idol and mentor, Vladimir Putin. Millions of us responded responded with, “Are you fucking kidding us?!?”

  21. 21.

    natem

    December 28, 2020 at 8:19 pm

    Yes fuck the Republicans but FUCK BERNIE TOO DAMMIT!

  22. 22.

    sherparick

    December 28, 2020 at 8:20 pm

    I am sure the driver of this firetruck feels just this way about 2020.

     

    https://twitter.com/i/status/1343702163034431489

    Double fuck you 2020 and for Trump and all the MAGA Trumpsters, don’t let the door hit your backsides on the way out.

  23. 23.

    Eunicecycle

    December 28, 2020 at 8:27 pm

    @Roger Moore: Before this year, 2016 was the year that could fuck off. The Cleveland baseball team lost the World Series after being up 3-1; my father died after a long cancer fight; and Donald Trump was elected, all within about 4 weeks. Little did I know…

  24. 24.

    Eunicecycle

    December 28, 2020 at 8:30 pm

    @Mike in NC: What about when he wanted to nuke the hurricane? That’s a personal favorite of mine.

  25. 25.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 8:32 pm

    Long-ish read of note in The New Yorker.

    The Plague Year
    The mistakes and the struggles behind America’s coronavirus tragedy.

    .

  26. 26.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 8:33 pm

    I miss efgoldman.

    SuzMom keeps saying, “I feel like something bad is going to happen before the end of the year” and I just cannot deal with the fucken stress. I am super-anxious and magical thinking really really badly because FUCK THIS FUCKEN YEAR and I am in no mood to be a sounding board for others.

  27. 27.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 8:34 pm

    @NotMax: That piece was incredible and I came here to share it but y’all got there first.

    I feel like printing out hundreds of copies of it and smacking Trump supporters with them.

  28. 28.

    Mezz

    December 28, 2020 at 8:35 pm

    @burnspbesq: Dit-fucking-toe

  29. 29.

    debbie

    December 28, 2020 at 8:37 pm

    @Eunicecycle:

    Injecting disinfectant is the clear winner.

  30. 30.

    satby

    December 28, 2020 at 8:38 pm

    @Eunicecycle: Yeah, 2016 was a personally bad year for me too. Lost a job in January, tree smooshed the garage at the house I still owned on paper in Chicago in Feb., my mom died in April, in June another tree fell on and structurally damaged my residence in MI which was listed for short sale before foreclosure. The coup de grace was the election of an idiot as president*. 2016 gave 2020 a real contest for worst year, but 2020 is still ahead in total sucktitude.

  31. 31.

    Barbara

    December 28, 2020 at 8:38 pm

    @NotMax: No mistake was more important or consequential than waiting 46 days to have a workable diagnostic test for the virus.  Thailand had a test in a matter of days.  It wasn’t the kind of evil “mistake” we saw time and again from Trump, or Republican governors, but certainly, it made it all but impossible for the places that were hit earliest to mount a strong response.

  32. 32.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 28, 2020 at 8:44 pm

    @natem: I hate Bernie’s guts and liver, but I’m not sure that’s a bad thing

  33. 33.

    wvng

    December 28, 2020 at 8:44 pm

    @Barbara: I am still trying to understand how the CDC could make such a massive mistake. I better understand why it wasn’t aggressively corrected, because Trump.

  34. 34.

    artem1s

    December 28, 2020 at 8:46 pm

    @debbie:

    Injecting disinfectant is the clear winner

    I gotta go with the q-tip factory inspection that resulted in an entire day of production having to be thrown out.

  35. 35.

    OzarkHillbilly

    December 28, 2020 at 8:49 pm

    I gotta giggle. Of course, I also got an infinitude of “Fuck you!s”

  36. 36.

    Barbara

    December 28, 2020 at 8:51 pm

    @wvng: Washington Post had an article that tried to explain.  Basically, the two people who came up with the test became fixated on their test design and resisted changing it, even though there were clearly problems.  Those problems were compounded by contamination of the manufacturing facility, and the initial belief that COVID was unlikely to be much different from SARS and MERS and so did not generate sufficient urgency among leaders of either the CDC or its parent agency.  The article names a lot of names and I am sure it is painful reading for many CDC employees.

  37. 37.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 28, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    @Baud: That’s sooooo last thread, Baud.

  38. 38.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    December 28, 2020 at 8:53 pm

    It’s too short, hopefully there are more episodes before the year is over. :)

  39. 39.

    sab

    December 28, 2020 at 8:56 pm

    @Eunicecycle: I can’t believe I had forgotten all about that.

  40. 40.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 8:58 pm

    @Barbara

    One can dissect gradations of error/failure until the cows come home but to me it’s the sheer bulk of stubbornly (and most often deliberately) compounding mistake upon mistake, whether as dedicated policy or by way of laissez faire-itude, which is the most dreadful to look back upon.

    Have been saying for nearly a year now that the Dolt 45 administration has insistently viewed and treated it as a public relations crisis rather than a public health crisis and if pressed to designate a single #1 mistake, that would be it.

  41. 41.

    Ohio Mom

    December 28, 2020 at 9:00 pm

    Odie Hugh Manatee,
    Oh don’t worry, there will be plenty to yell Fuck 2021 about. The reverberations from this year are going to well, reverberate for a while.

  42. 42.

    kindness

    December 28, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    Who else remembers when one of the Ad companies didn’t want to cover this web site because cuss words were used some? They’d be dying right now if they took it.

  43. 43.

    Mo Salad

    December 28, 2020 at 9:03 pm

    I recognized Sudekis at the end. Were there others I should have recognized?

  44. 44.

    AnotherBruce

    December 28, 2020 at 9:05 pm

    So many Karens and Kens, hey what happened to that couple? The way she was holding that gun, I’m surprised that she didn’t shoot her titty.

  45. 45.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 9:05 pm

    @Ohio Mom

    “Roger Corman presents Son of 2020, coming to a socially distanced venue near you.”

    :)

  46. 46.

    dmsilev

    December 28, 2020 at 9:06 pm

    @wvng: The Post had a long story about the CDC test failure a few days ago. Capsule summary: They tried to be too fancy and tried to produce an overly sophisticated test, and the upper management was also asleep at the switch.

  47. 47.

    Mary G

    December 28, 2020 at 9:07 pm

    Officials describe a frightening scene at LA hospitals: With no available beds, multiple ambulances are parking outside hospitals and doctors are treating the patients inside the ambulance. Patients are also being treated in conference rooms and gift shops at hospitals.— Soumya (@skarlamangla) December 28, 2020

  48. 48.

    dmsilev

    December 28, 2020 at 9:09 pm

    @Mike in NC: It’s really small-bore, but the time he insisted on looking straight at the Sun (during the eclipse) without any protective glasses was good.

    Also, Sharpie Moves Hurricane was, in retrospect, an omen of the whole “Trump’s will triumphs over scientific fact” thing.

  49. 49.

    dmsilev

    December 28, 2020 at 9:10 pm

    @Mary G: And yet, the shopping malls were crowded last week.

    Sigh.

  50. 50.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 9:13 pm

    @Mary G

    Gift shops? In a hospital? Is that a California thing?

    “We’ve covered Rodeo Drive and nothing caught my eye. How about we head over to the hospital?”

  51. 51.

    Gemina13

    December 28, 2020 at 9:14 pm

    2016 can definitely go fuck itself.  I spent most of that year in a crappy job, working with my SO to keep a house of 4 adults and 2 kids going (and only two of us were working).  I got a new job, and was laid off a week before Trump stole the election.  2016 was a trash fire.

    2020 was worse – not for me, but for people around me.  Several friends have lost loved ones to COVID-19; some have lost jobs; others have been hit with other medical disasters.  And along with the plague stalking the land, there’s been Trump and all his supporters.

    Fuck you, 2020.  Fuck you sideways with a rusty chainsaw.  And fuck every MAGAt, Trumper, Proud Boy, III %er, and All Lives Matter-supporting shitheel.

  52. 52.

    prostratedragon

    December 28, 2020 at 9:14 pm

    I remember mentioning to a couple of people in summer 2016 that, if we were so foolish as to elect Trump, they’d eventually be both appalled and awed by the lack of a bottom. One in particular scoffed; I’m tempted to look him up and say, “How you like me now?”

    As for me personally, not a great year, but the worst has not affected me directly as much as some here, so far; there was one cousin who had to quarantine, and another who died unexpectedly of a massive stroke. The latter was in the NoCal area just as the virus was kicking off. Never found out whether they checked him for covid. Late 2019 was an ominous prelude, as several weeks after my mother’s funeral found me spending Christmas in the hospital as a critical patient with a bleeding ulcer. I tottered out just before New Year’s and just in time to sprain my knee doing nothing much, just as the out-of-town family had left. Started feeling better right about the time to start preparing for lockdown.

  53. 53.

    M31

    December 28, 2020 at 9:15 pm

    @NotMax: teddy bears, flowers, stuff to cheer up the hospitalized person you are visiting, seen them here on the east coast

  54. 54.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    December 28, 2020 at 9:18 pm

    @Ohio Mom:

    As I age I’ve noticed that there are more “fuck insert year” years.

    I think it’s called experience…

  55. 55.

    MisterForkbeard

    December 28, 2020 at 9:19 pm

    @NotMax: It’s pretty normal in most hospitals, that I knew of.

    Basically, a small shop where you can buy flowers or a small gift to bring upstairs when you’re visiting someone. It also can have things like tylenol, advil, etc. And lately they also have things like baby swaddles and so on with the hospital’s name on it.

  56. 56.

    Amir Khalid

    December 28, 2020 at 9:20 pm

    @NotMax:

    I can see people buying get-well cards and gifts for patients they’re visiting that help them pass the time. Plus, I don’t know, X Medical Center souvenir T-shirts and key chains?

  57. 57.

    raven

    December 28, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    @MisterForkbeard: He’s just being a grump, he knows damn well they are in every hospital.

  58. 58.

    prostratedragon

    December 28, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    @NotMax:  No, not that rare. I’ve seen them at UMMC (Ann Arbor), Mercy (Chicago), and Northwestern (Chicago). Conveniences for patients and their visitors: Get Well cards, little games and trinkets, and t-shirts or other simple clothing, mostly.

  59. 59.

    bjacques

    December 28, 2020 at 9:23 pm

    @Amir Khalid: same in Amsterdam hospitals. Plus overpriced candy and snacks.

  60. 60.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 28, 2020 at 9:24 pm

    @Amir Khalid: phone chargers, my parents each had a couple extended hospital stays. I think I bought three phone chargers

    one hospital had a nice charging station in the family waiting room

  61. 61.

    raven

    December 28, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Maui Health Gift Shop

  62. 62.

    dmsilev

    December 28, 2020 at 9:25 pm

    Dana Milbank:

    To all those who would divine in the president’s floundering a grand strategy, or even a small one, let me offer some caution: If you go rummaging around in Trump’s brain right now, you’re going to emerge empty-handed.

    (he’s got to be in the running for Most Improved Pundit over the last few years)

  63. 63.

    MisterForkbeard

    December 28, 2020 at 9:26 pm

    @raven: Evidently I am not the only person that completely missed this :)

  64. 64.

    PsiFighter37

    December 28, 2020 at 9:27 pm

    From the FTFNYT about the NDAA bill:

    But attempts to quickly pass it in the Senate could be complicated by Senator Bernie Sanders, independent of Vermont, who said on Monday that he would delay consideration of the military bill unless lawmakers voted on a separate bill — one that would increase the size of individual stimulus checks to $2,000.

    Don’t really love the optics of this, but again Wilmer himself and his acolytes have never shown the best political instincts. Gives the GOP a nice little cudgel to tar Ossoff and Warnock with – “these guys stand with socialist Bernie Sanders to hold up military benefits”.

  65. 65.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 9:27 pm

    @MisterForkbeard

    It also can have things like tylenol, advil

    “Such a bargain. Upstairs they’re a hundred bucks a pill.”

    //

  66. 66.

    catclub

    December 28, 2020 at 9:28 pm

    @dmsilev: Also, Sharpie Moves Hurricane was, in retrospect, an omen of the whole “Trump’s will triumphs over scientific fact” thing.

     

    The worst part of that was:  The bureaucracy will try to make Trump right. And those who object are punished.

     

    ETA: Like this:

    Dr. James Phillips, an emergency room doctor at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, has been removed from his duty after publicly criticizing President Donald Trump’s drive-by around the hospital after his coronavirus diagnosis.

  67. 67.

    raven

    December 28, 2020 at 9:28 pm

    @MisterForkbeard: He got everyone going down the rabbit hole.

  68. 68.

    catclub

    December 28, 2020 at 9:29 pm

    @dmsilev: he’s got to be in the running for Most Improved Pundit over the last few years)

     

    ummm, Rubin is a pundit. Beats him by many miles.

  69. 69.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    @raven

    It was — ah say — it was a joke, son.

    ;)

  70. 70.

    WaterGirl

    December 28, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    @Mary G: Fuck.

  71. 71.

    PsiFighter37

    December 28, 2020 at 9:32 pm

    @catclub: Shocking how much has changed. Jennifer Rubin used to be a spectacularly hacktacular pusher of bullshit GOP tropes.

  72. 72.

    WaterGirl

    December 28, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    @NotMax: I’m sure you’re kidding, but the gift shop is the “oh, I wanted to bring them something, I can get balloons, magazines, stuffed animals, flowers, etc on the way up” place.

  73. 73.

    raven

    December 28, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    @NotMax: We watched the Bee Gee’s doc last night. “I started a joke, that started the whole world laughing. . . ”

     

    Actually I prefer the Airplane

    Shared a Little Joke

  74. 74.

    Mike in NC

    December 28, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    @Eunicecycle: That’s making it to some lists, along with the sharpie to change the direction of another hurricane. Also raking the California forests.

    I can’t get past the fucked-up bromance with the brutal dictator of North Korea. They had what, four or five playdates to win a ‘Noble Prize’? What did that cost us taxpayers?

  75. 75.

    danielx

    December 28, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    @NotMax:

    Totally normal, at least in larger hospitals, carry a little bit of everything. Heavy on the stuffed animals where there are pediatric units.

  76. 76.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 28, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    @catclub: she certainly travelled more metaphorical miles

  77. 77.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 9:34 pm

    @raven

    Last time set foot in a hospital was forty-plus years ago. Lesson learned which stuck was to never again order the Salisbury steak in the cafeteria.

  78. 78.

    danielx

    December 28, 2020 at 9:35 pm

    @NotMax:

    I’ll bet it stuck.

    ETA: you are most fortunate. I’ve spent a shit ton more time in them than I care to think about – family and friends, not me so far.

  79. 79.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 28, 2020 at 9:36 pm

    @NotMax:

    I think it’s an everywhere thing. Don’t believe I’ve ever been in a decent-sized hospital that didn’t boast a gift shop (so visitors don’t show up empty-handed).

  80. 80.

    dmsilev

    December 28, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    @catclub: That’s fair. As bad as Milbank was at his nadir, Rubin was worse. She’s certainly come a long way.

  81. 81.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 28, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    @PsiFighter37: wasn’t she the original yard-sign-counter for Romney in 2012?

    @NotMax: I was struck by how hard it was to get anything healthy in the hospital cafeteria, other than the very limited salad bar, and the longest line in the multi-station kitchen was for cheeseburger. Lot of scrubs in that line.

  82. 82.

    raven

    December 28, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    @NotMax: Having spent two months in Grady Memorial in the spring of 1975 I can testify that they had gift shops even then.

  83. 83.

    prostratedragon

    December 28, 2020 at 9:38 pm

    @PsiFighter37:  “Shut up, Bernie.” (Hole. Digging. Enemy. Don’t interrupt.)

  84. 84.

    FlyingToaster

    December 28, 2020 at 9:38 pm

    @PsiFighter37:

    Gives the GOP a nice little cudgel to tar Ossoff and Warnock with – “these guys stand with socialist Bernie Sanders to hold up military benefits”.

    Not really.

    Anyone who would fall for that is not going to vote for a Democrat anyway.

    Right now, every damn thing is about getting out the vote.  Not about convincing people to vote for you over the other guy, but to make sure everyone who hates Trump and his ilk shows the fuck up.

  85. 85.

    prostratedragon

    December 28, 2020 at 9:41 pm

    @NotMax:  Brings back fond memories of the beef tongue which was a weekly special at the Cornell Medical Center employee cafeteria back in the day. I can only hope that they never added to the burden of those with someone in the hospital by putting it on the public menu.

  86. 86.

    Brachiator

    December 28, 2020 at 9:42 pm

    Definitely a great ad.

    I want to add an extra, mighty fuck you to all the asswipes who insist that they have some goddam divine and constitutional right to eat at restaurants that have been asked to close, strut around without masks and in general do all kinds of stupid shit to spread the virus, especially as hospitals are collapsing under the strain.

    A couple of fuck you’s to the Supreme Court.

    More forever fuck you’s to the GOP and to the right wing plutocrats for sowing another year of dissension and misery.

    Oh, I  got plenty of fucks to give.

  87. 87.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 9:45 pm

    @prostratedragon

    One of the joys of a good kosher deli is an overstuffed sammich of tongue on rye.

  88. 88.

    WaterGirl

    December 28, 2020 at 9:45 pm

    This is like a Festivus thread.  It’s cathartic.

  89. 89.

    Delk

    December 28, 2020 at 9:46 pm

    Fuck last week. Two of my friends died. Both were 58, neither death was Covid-19 related.

  90. 90.

    WaterGirl

    December 28, 2020 at 9:46 pm

    @NotMax: comments about that particular food should come with a trigger warning!  :-)

  91. 91.

    UncleEbeneezer

    December 28, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    The only problem with that video is the “I don’t care WHO you voted for…” part.  Otherwise, I love it.

  92. 92.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 9:51 pm

    @WaterGirl

    cathartic

    Easier to spell than albigensitic. (ref.)

    :)

    /semi-obscure history humor

  93. 93.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    @NotMax:

    Gift shops? In a hospital? Is that a California thing?

    Those are really common, yo. All over the country. They sell flowers, balloons, stuffies, candy, tchotchkes, cheesy jewelry. Less for patients and their families, more for the staff.

  94. 94.

    UncleEbeneezer

    December 28, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    @Delk: So sorry to hear it.  I know two people who lost parents last week to Covid.

  95. 95.

    prostratedragon

    December 28, 2020 at 9:53 pm

    @NotMax: Served on a plate, like a hamsteak. Tastebuds and all. Mind, I did manage to eat it, being about 19 and all. Wouldn’t have minded the camoflage of bread, mustard, and pickle.

  96. 96.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 28, 2020 at 9:54 pm

    @NotMax: That made me chuckle, but not quite LOLlard

  97. 97.

    Mike in NC

    December 28, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    @NotMax: I hate hospitals but every one I’ve been in had a gift shop, to buy get well cards and flowers and stuffed animals and related shit. They ought to sell booze but don’t.

  98. 98.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 9:57 pm

    @Delk: Fuck. I’m so, so sorry.

    This year has just run me ragged. Nothing personally bad, but the stress of the world is a thing. You’ve got a much worse situation. I’m sorry.

    I hope this place is a bit of solace.

  99. 99.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 9:59 pm

    @Mike in NC: I hate hospitals, which is why I design them. They’re fascinating, terrifying, miraculous, mundane places.

  100. 100.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 28, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Hospitals have gift shops, but not bars.

  101. 101.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 10:02 pm

    @Suzanne

    “It’s no sweat to get there from here. Just follow the green line on the floor.”

    “But I’m color blind.”

    ;)

  102. 102.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 28, 2020 at 10:02 pm

    @Brachiator:

    Oh, I got plenty of fuckits,
    And fuckit’s plenty for me.
    I got no drat,
    Got no heck,
    Got no goodness me.…

  103. 103.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 28, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    @Delk:
    I’m so sorry. That’s a blow. 

  104. 104.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    @NotMax: You laugh, but wayfinding in a hospital is one of the most difficult aspects of the interior design. The buildings can be so big that travel distances (walking) are sometimes measured in miles. And the corridors get samey-same. So we do all these strategies to try to help people find their way through. Some are more effective than others.

  105. 105.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 28, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    ???

  106. 106.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne

    The sun in the morning, moon at night ditty from Annie Get Your Gun would lend itself admirably for lyric tweaking in this vein, also too.

  107. 107.

    NotMax

    December 28, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    @Suzanne

    Put in mind of the color-coded strips for each level on the corridor walls in Babylon 5.

    “Who designs a space station with a purpose built slum?”

    :)

  108. 108.

    Gravenstone

    December 28, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    @kindness: They probably ended up dropping every political site like this from their portfolio if that was a legitimate issue for them. Because fuck has to be among the most prevalent words used on such sites in 2020.

  109. 109.

    Gvg

    December 28, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    @NotMax: people buy things for relatives in the hospital. Comfort things, and you just run down the elevator. Magazines and puzzles and PJ and nightgowns because we often arrive at the hospital unplanned from events in daily life like car accidents and heart attacks. I bought one of the best phone chargers I ever found at the hospital gift shop while waiting for moms surgery to be over and realizing I hadn’t brought mine. Also a lot of magazines while waiting for various relative surgeries to be over.

    all hospitals have gift shops.

  110. 110.

    prostratedragon

    December 28, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    @Suzanne:  The main UMMC is so sprawling that they’ve invested in scooters that patients or visitors can borrow (if available) to get around on. It’s possible to have internal medicine and cardiology appointments on the same day that are over a quarter mile apart. But the wayfinding on the second floor concourse is pretty well laid out. Can’t say the same for the labyrinthine basement, for which one needs a guide. The farthest linear distances that I know of at Northwestern are under a quarter mile, but of course it’s a much more vertically constructed, downtown type facility.

  111. 111.

    Gravenstone

    December 28, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    @NotMax: There have been small gift shops in almost every midwest hospital I’ve ever been inside. I can only think of one that didn’t and they were less than 50 beds.

  112. 112.

    Delk

    December 28, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    Back in the day, the AIDS ward I was in had a smoking lounge. They figured everybody was going to die, might as well let the smokers smoke.

  113. 113.

    Ruckus

    December 28, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    @raven:

    OK I think you got the intended response from me. I LOL.

  114. 114.

    dmsilev

    December 28, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    The Post has a story up about the effort to coax Trump into signing the stimulus bill yesterday. I can’t wait until headlines like this are once more a joke rather than reality: ‘A day on the golf course helped change Trump’s mind on the stimulus bill.’

  115. 115.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    @prostratedragon: I did some work at one very large urban hospital that did the most organ transplants in the state. So they tracked the travel distances for that patient. By the time they registered, got prepped, went to surgery, went to PACU, then got taken to their actual room for however-many-days, they had traveled approximately 1.1 miles. There’s a hospital in Tucson that is gigantic, but all on one story. Apparently it has (or had) the largest roof in the world at one point.

  116. 116.

    jeffreyw

    December 28, 2020 at 10:29 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Belter dialog from The Expanse?

  117. 117.

    Argiope

    December 28, 2020 at 10:34 pm

    @Suzanne: I’m local-ish to the blocks-spanning Cleveland Clinic main campus.    During my mom’s many visits for cancer treatment, my sister and I began referring to the miles of hallways and bridges between buildings as the habitrail.

  118. 118.

    Ruckus

    December 28, 2020 at 10:37 pm

    I spent 2 months in a hospital in Long Beach, CA which I don’t believe had a gift shop.

    Said hospital no longer exists, it was torn down 25 yrs ago.

  119. 119.

    Amir Khalid

    December 28, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Kuala Lumpur Hospital would probably be your idea of a nightmare hospital design. The British built it in colonial times as a cluster of single-storey buildings, and that cluster grew after independence into a huge cluster spread over an area as big as a midsized town, with departments haphazardly sited in separate buildings a considerable distance apart. My late father was head of radiology there in the 1970s; when the Health Minister was quoted in the paper calling the hospital’s sheer size was something to be proud of, he told teenage me that it was something to be ashamed of.

  120. 120.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 10:44 pm

    @Argiope: The firm I work for designed some of that habitrail. That’s a weird client. Everything is aggressively white white white. They hired a C-suite-level Design officer to make sure their buildings are adequately cool-looking.

  121. 121.

    laura

    December 28, 2020 at 10:45 pm

    @Delk: Delk please accept my condolences on your loss.

  122. 122.

    jeffreyw

    December 28, 2020 at 10:46 pm

    A SERIES OF GOOD BIRDS I MET IN 2020: a vital thread (1/376)— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) December 29, 2020

  123. 123.

    Suzanne

    December 28, 2020 at 10:50 pm

    @Amir Khalid: Eh, buildings evolve into gigantic things for a whole host of reasons. Sometimes the original building can’t be easily expanded (like it’s a circle), sometimes the soil can’t support anything tall, sometimes there’s height restrictions from the city or town, sometimes there’s an adjacent landowner who’s making things difficult, sometimes there’s not enough physical infrastructure to the site (power, sewer, whatever), sometimes you have to keep one thing open before you tear something else down. Hospitals are often on the same site for centuries and I wouldn’t say it’s anything to be ashamed of to have a sprawling campus. It is certainly more difficult to navigate, but it’s typical in most of the world for the facility to grow over years and get a bit weird.

  124. 124.

    lahke

    December 28, 2020 at 10:53 pm

    I gave up my TV during the whole OJ Simpson thing, and managed to avoid most TV since, with the occasional visit to someone’s house convincing me that I wasn’t missing much.  But 2020 broke me, and now I’m watching things on Amazon Prime  and Netflix after (checks date) 26 bleeding years of innocence.   Which is a very long intro to a question, after having viewed Bridgerton:  they really show all of that sex on the TV?  When did that happen?  I mean, as a single middle-aged woman in lockdown I am definitely appreciative that the show caters to the female gaze, and I don’t even have to scrub my browsing history; it’s just the culture shock, because the definition of porn seems to have really shifted.  Amazing.

    Edited to apologize for going way off thread, and to share condolences with all.  Takes me so long to write a comment that I often give up and delete them once I see their actual context.

  125. 125.

    laura

    December 28, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    Hey Lahm36 – thinking about you and hope you are faring well.

  126. 126.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 28, 2020 at 11:08 pm

    @lahke:

    Edited to apologize for going way off thread

    I enjoyed it. Funny to think of coming back to TV after so long. You resisted all the much ballyhooed “Golden Age” TV?  I can’t speak to Bridgerton, but on the streaming services, you don’t have any of the old censorship rules of the networks, and I hardly watch any network TV anymore so I couldn’t say. I believe a few years ago, AMC had to pay some kind of fine for broadcasting an F-bomb on Breaking Bad, basic cable. HBO– the Sopranos, Deadwood, Rome– showed just about anything that would’ve brought an R rating back when I was young. Was NC-17 more or less restricted than R? Can’t even remember now. Been a while since my friend and I had to get my brother to pretend he was my dad on the phone and tell the theatre manager we could go in to Body Heat.

  127. 127.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 28, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    @Ruckus:

    Said hospital no longer exists, it was torn down 25 yrs ago.

    Obviously, since it didn’t have a gift shop.

  128. 128.

    Winston

    December 28, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    Seems like all along we have been ignoring Cuba. Population 11M, cases 11K, deaths 143. vs Polk County Fl population 725K, cases 36k, deaths 767.

    So what are they doing that makes their heath care so great?

    My Doctor who is from Cuba  when I asked about Ivermectin, said they use it in Cuba. Funny that. But she can’t prescribe it because FDA.

  129. 129.

    rikyrah

    December 28, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    @raven:

    ??????

  130. 130.

    CarolDuhart2

    December 28, 2020 at 11:26 pm

    @NotMax: We have them here in Cinci as well. Great for getting last minute flowers, housecoats and underwear.

  131. 131.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    December 28, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    @NotMax: Cedars Sinai is Beverly Hills adjacent.

  132. 132.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 28, 2020 at 11:35 pm

    @NotMax:

    One of the joys of a good kosher deli is an overstuffed sammich of tongue on rye. 

    Overstuffed sammich – yes.

    Tongue – no.  Just no.

    Club sammich me!

  133. 133.

    Frankensteinbeck

    December 28, 2020 at 11:35 pm

    @Suzanne:

    wayfinding in a hospital is one of the most difficult aspects of the interior design.

    I have worked in a hospital and have two family members who have worked in other hospitals.  They are mazes.  I’ve never been in any other kind of building so complicated to navigate.

  134. 134.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 28, 2020 at 11:37 pm

    @Delk: I’m sorry, Delk.

  135. 135.

    Ruckus

    December 28, 2020 at 11:39 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    Exactly!

    Except it really wasn’t. It was the Long Beach Naval hospital and without the base nearby, closed about the same time, no reason for it to be there.

  136. 136.

    TomatoQueen

    December 28, 2020 at 11:51 pm

    The gift shop at the hospital that did my hip joints in September has a dearth of the usual sundries, and a fine selection of artisanal wares, which aren’t cheap. Hospital gift shops are little fund-raising centers in some places.

  137. 137.

    StringOnAStick

    December 28, 2020 at 11:53 pm

    @jeffreyw:  Loved the birds, excellent explanations.

  138. 138.

    Lyrebird

    December 29, 2020 at 12:06 am

    @Suzanne: and you put all that work in and then they stick your building onto another building so that the floor numbers don’t match when you walk on certain corridors!

    That’s true at CHOP, but it’s actually really nice. I wish grownups could go to hospitals that had nice hangings and giraffes painted on the walls.

     

    I bet the work you do makes a big difference.

  139. 139.

    Origuy

    December 29, 2020 at 12:07 am

    Stanford opened their new hospital last year or so. It’s a little hard to navigate but not terrible once you’ve been there a few times. The whole Stanford Medical Center complex is huge; they have sites all over the Peninsula. The new gift shop has been closed since Covid, but it’s about the size of a mall store.

    Suzanne, is it the architect that decides on the pavement outside the hospital? Because why would they put a rough stone surface where a lot of people are going to be in wheelchairs?

  140. 140.

    hitchhiker

    December 29, 2020 at 12:16 am

    @prostratedragon:

    100%.

  141. 141.

    Fair Economist

    December 29, 2020 at 12:26 am

    @Winston:

    My Doctor who is from Cuba when I asked about Ivermectin, said they use it in Cuba. Funny that. But she can’t prescribe it because FDA.

    That’s a lie. A doctor can prescribe any approved medication for COVID, regardless of what the approval is for. “Off-label usage” is routine for many drugs.

    They don’t prescribe it because the doses needed to get an effect against COVID are lethal to humans.

  142. 142.

    Suzanne

    December 29, 2020 at 12:27 am

    @Origuy:

    Suzanne, is it the architect that decides on the pavement outside the hospital? Because why would they put a rough stone surface where a lot of people are going to be in wheelchairs? 

    Sometimes it’s the architect, sometimes a landscape architect or civil engineer. We do hardscapes of different textures for different reasons. Often it’s because it’s a detectable warning for blind people. Sometimes it’s because of how rainwater falls or flows on the site—concrete with exposed aggregate is more robust and lasts longer. Sometimes aesthetics.

  143. 143.

    hitchhiker

    December 29, 2020 at 12:27 am

    @NotMax:

    since everybody’s talking about hospital gift shops, I might as well stick my 2 cents in.

    they’re a lot like airport stores where you buy travel stuff you forgot, or snacks, drinks, candy, reading material.

    there’s a weird similarity between hospitals and airports — both places filled with strangers, some having the very worst day of their lives, some having the best, and most just milling around trying to figure out where the fuck they’re going.

    also the lighting is horrendous in both, so that everyone you see looks their absolute worst.

  144. 144.

    Suzanne

    December 29, 2020 at 12:31 am

    @Lyrebird: One of the projects I worked on (that is actually just finishing up, delayed by COVID) is the start of a hospital replacement. The lowest floor is G in the old buildings (that will be mostly demolished). In the new building, the lowest floor is 1. So part of the project is a full rename/renumber strategy.

    I used to work on airports. Those buildings are a total cornflake.

  145. 145.

    CaseyL

    December 29, 2020 at 1:10 am

    I can’t stop watching the ad. It is SO cathartic!

    My 2020 wasn’t so bad, on a personal level; but my heart keeps breaking for everyone else.  Except anyone who supports the GOP.  Fuck ’em.

    Hospitals as labyrinths:  The first time I worked for UW Medicine (a complex that at the time consisted only of the Medical Center and the Health Sciences Building) there were color-coded wayfinders to guide you to specific departments.  I thought it was charming, and a good idea.  This was back in the late 80s-early 90s.

    UW Medicine now consists of the Medical Center, the Health Sciences Building, the Surgical Pavilion,  more than a dozen Neighborhood Clinics, plus about a dozen hospitals and outpatient clinics cattered all over the region (formerly independent; UW Medicine bought them up).  The color-coded wayfinders disappeared a long, long time ago – possibly because attempts to keep them up would have run out of colors altogether (at least, the ones humans can see) and line graphics more suited to an Escher print.  I honestly don’t know how patients find their way around; even employees can get hopelessly lost.

  146. 146.

    danielx

    December 29, 2020 at 1:20 am

    @hitchhiker:

    also the lighting is horrendous in both, so that everyone you see looks their absolute worst.

    Fluorescent lit Moria.

  147. 147.

    prostratedragon

    December 29, 2020 at 1:26 am

    @Suzanne:
    all on one story

    Wow!

  148. 148.

    grammypat

    December 29, 2020 at 1:32 am

    FUCK 2020:

    The first “stimulus” check was eaten up when my indoor cat, Mi’ja, got outside and apparently was attacked.  In an attempt to escape the attacker(s), she got locked in somewhere for nearly 3 days (I did not expect to see her again), acquired a warble and an infection, and 2 weeks after coming home was so sick that she almost died.  Over a month of antibiotics and steroids, and >$1k in vet bills later, she recovered and the “stimulus” money was gone.

    Now, with the expectation of a $600 “stimulus” check, my water heater just sprung a leak from corrosion and has to be replaced.  The cost?  ~$500 for the heater and >$100 labor.

    One step forward  ….  FUCK 2020 !

  149. 149.

    prostratedragon

    December 29, 2020 at 1:41 am

    Two (maybe 3) nice features of University (Mich) Hospital: The concourse areas, at least, have plenty of light from skylights and windows; there is much art on the walls both in open areas and patient rooms, with regular public displays of various plastic and graphic art and sometimes live music in the open areas. Helps all those decidedly non-cheery aspects of the business there.

  150. 150.

    Leto

    December 29, 2020 at 1:43 am

    Fuck 2018 (my accident and what it put my family through), and fuck 2020 for what it’s done to so many people. I’m not sure if I could navigate Abington Hospital (where I spent 6 weeks) but maybe if I was lying on my back staring at the ceiling tiles I could do it. Abington is a fairly large hospital and I was able to visit a lot of different departments in it. I believe they had a nice gift shop, and the dining facility wasn’t too bad.

  151. 151.

    Winston

    December 29, 2020 at 2:20 am

    @Fair Economist: My doctor can’t prescribe it for use against Covid because it isn’t approved here in the good old USA for humans. That is not a lie. But if your dog has heart worm, your vet can prescribe it for your dog. Idiot. That they use it for humans in Cuba seems to escape you, despite the statistics, is all I’m sayin.

  152. 152.

    Winston

    December 29, 2020 at 2:44 am

    @Winston: Cuba seems to be doing a helluva lot better job of dealing with this virus than the USA. If you don’t wonder why you might wonder why.

  153. 153.

    Elvis Nightingale, Esq. (frmly Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn)

    December 29, 2020 at 3:05 am

    It’s like Cole had this ad custom made specifically for this site. Wuvvit.

  154. 154.

    JAFD

    December 29, 2020 at 3:31 am

    @NotMax: Well, most of the Pa & NJ hospitals I’ve been thru have had little shops off the lobby – sometimes run by the Ladies Auxiliary – seling newspapers / magazines / flowers / stuffed animals / snacks / etc

  155. 155.

    satby

    December 29, 2020 at 6:25 am

    @Winston: Ivermectin is used as a parasite medicine, like for heartworm, because it kills the worms. I used it frequently for one dog as a miticide, because she had an autoimmune disease that allowed mites normal on a dog’s skin to grow out of control. Ivermectin kills the things it’s prescribed to treat, and has warnings about using too much because it’s toxic. I’m familiar with it, and I sure wouldn’t take it as a treatment for covid. Third world countries make do with alternative medicines because they’re often unable to obtain newer ones. Doesn’t mean it’s a good choice.

  156. 156.

    Miss Bianca

    December 29, 2020 at 10:15 am

    @lahke: So funny, my friend who’s watching it right now said the exact same thing! Like, “this would have been considered *pr0n* back in the day!”

  157. 157.

    Kayla Rudbek

    December 29, 2020 at 10:29 am

    @Winston: The question is, of course, can the reported statistics from Cuba be trusted?

  158. 158.

    Ben Cisco

    December 29, 2020 at 1:17 pm

    Way late, but just to read it into the record for prosperity:

    FUCK 2016 now and forevermore. Lost Mrs. Cisco, Dad started the decline that would result in his death a year and a few days later, vulture capitalists finally started their process with my old job (decapitate senior management tier, buy out most of the junior management + longest-term non-managers, cut expenses so deep that the bones had nick marks on them, claim numbers from all previous steps as PROFIT! for to make sale). And all of that was BEFORE Ol’ Leaginous Bastard rode the wave of dimwits, halfwits and fuckwits to the Oval.

    For all that 2020 has been, I’ve been spared the brunt of it. Moved home, have a great job that I got to keep, been closer to remaining relatives, and daring to allow myself to FEEL again. That last one has been both the biggest surprise and the biggest joy. Maybe now that we’ll have a sentient president again things will continue to improve.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • Carlo Graziani on War for Ukraine Day 402: Putin Has Signed a New Foreign Policy Concept. (Apr 1, 2023 @ 11:41pm)
  • Frankensteinbeck on Saturday Afternoon Open Thread (and reminder, BJ zoom tonight at 7 pm) (Apr 1, 2023 @ 11:40pm)
  • dr. luba on War for Ukraine Day 402: Putin Has Signed a New Foreign Policy Concept. (Apr 1, 2023 @ 11:24pm)
  • dr. luba on War for Ukraine Day 402: Putin Has Signed a New Foreign Policy Concept. (Apr 1, 2023 @ 11:17pm)
  • Jackie on Saturday Afternoon Open Thread (and reminder, BJ zoom tonight at 7 pm) (Apr 1, 2023 @ 11:14pm)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup coming up on April 4!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!