Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Please don’t feed the bears.

I really should read my own blog.

Even though I know this is a bad idea, I’m off to do it anyway!

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

The words do not have to be perfect.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

Motown is Joe-Town!

It’s easier to kill a dangerous animal than a man who just happens to have different thoughts/values than one’s own.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

The jury literally has a bell they can ring to force Trump to show up on command. Greatest thing ever!

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Second rate reporter says what?

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / Late Night Insurrection Open Thread: GOP Scaff, Raff & Bob-Tail

Late Night Insurrection Open Thread: GOP Scaff, Raff & Bob-Tail

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The Beergut Putsch had me recalling that useful phrase of opprobrium, which a lazy google informs me originally meant professional beggars, streetcorner loiters, and sex workers of all genders. As the linking implies, those three groups tend to interlock quite a bit, depending on the individual Repub in question…

Here’s one up&coming young grifter who’s no doubt singing for the feds right now:

Longstanding congressional human chew-toys…

… and rising young gunbunny wanna-bes!

Another proud Queens native who can’t manage his money:

More GOP legends-in-their-own-minds…

At least Rep. Cawthorne has the (flimsy) excuse that he’s a home-schooled 25-year-old edgelord, which is apparently what his constituents were looking for…

Reader Interactions

106Comments

  5. 5.

    Mary G

    A law enforcement official confirmed to NPR that Norfolk FBI officials found specific threats against members of Congress, an exchange of maps of the tunnel system under the Capitol, & gathering places in KY, PA, SC where extremists were meeting before convoying up to Washington.— OLD IVORY (@oldivory) January 14, 2021

  6. 6.

    Comrade Colette

    @Ms. Deranged in AZ:   Nope, gunbunny is at least etymologically ungendered, whereas ‘hag’ is both sexist and ageist, as well as look-ist, so I’m going with … fucking dipshit asshole gun-humping moronic whackjob.

  7. 7.

    Feathers

    Cawthorne is really bad news. He needs to be destroyed, staked through the heart, and buried facing downward. He’s such a disaster that over 100 students from Patrick Fucking Henry turning-homeschooled-Christians-into-warriors-for-Republican-Jesus University signed a petition denouncing him when he was running for Congress! And he was somehow asshole enough to get his ass kicked out of said PHU. But he’s pretty, the right sort of Christian, and burns with a hatred pure, so it won’t be easy. But someone has to.

  8. 8.

    piratedan

    @Mary G: sounds like we’re gonna have to let all of those peeps that are currently taking up space for smoking weed and voting outside of their districts outta jail soon, we’re gonna need the room.

  9. 9.

    Anya

    Can we please ignore Lauren Boebert. Our attention will only give her status among the wingnuts. Let’s not give her any attention. If she wants to fight the law then the law will get her.

  10. 10.

    Anne Laurie

    @NotMax: Yes, that’s why I called her a gunbunny wanna-be.

    Aiming for cute, landing on slightly deranged by her personal failures.

  11. 11.

    piratedan

    @Feathers: isn’t he the “replacement” for that one GOP flack who got caught and had his election overturned because of committing actual voter fraud and instead of turning the race over to the Dem, they had a brand new election that allowed this whack job to sail thru…. He’s young, photogenic, and  disabled, so he’s like a mini-Abbott outta Texas.

  13. 13.

    gene108

    I don’t get the point of Eli Clifton’s Twitter thread. I don’t get the conspiracy. Fidelity Charitable funds, or Schwab charitable funds allow people to put their money into an account that earns a return on the capital, and make donations to charities. The companies do not control, which charities their investors donate to.

  15. 15.

    Anne Laurie

    @Anya: IMO, Boebert’s just a carnival geek.  The one to worry about is Marjorie Taylor-Green, who seems to be genuinely eager to be A Voice for the Qanon Cult.  (That’s why I didn’t include her in this particular line-up.)

  16. 16.

    Chetan Murthy

    @gene108: Perhaps [spitballing here] his point is that the use of these funds as intermediaries means that we never know who the actual donor is?  Just spitballing.

  17. 17.

    West of the Rockies

    I’m a curmudgeon.  I don’t get the thrill of being first.

    OT, but is this Bongino guy as stupid as he looks?  He was Secret Service,  so he can’t be a stooge, but man he looks like the poster boy for ‘roid rage and toxic masculinity.

  21. 21.

    Anya

    @Anne Laurie: Good call. For some weird reason the wingers are obsessed with making liberals angry or creepily with ‘liberal tears’ and the more we highlight these lunatics the more we make them a thing.

  25. 25.

    Anya

    @West of the Rockies: The brief time I’ve watch the impeachment debate I was struck by the low quality the GOP bench. It was a parade of morons and douchebags. I don’t understand how anyone votes for these people. It kinda makes me despair.

  26. 26.

    Feathers

    @piratedan: And he lied about his car accident ending his dream of going to the Naval Academy. He had gotten the nomination from his congressman, but was rejected when he applied. The car accident was after that. He had to admit in his lawsuit against somebody involved in the accident that would not have been going to the academy, even without the accident.

    But lots of people think he is a veteran injured in action. Wonder why?

  27. 27.

    Yutsano

    @West of the Rockies: Secret Service does not necessarily equal intelligent. There are many aspects to the Secret Service that have nothing to do with guarding the President or his family. I pray he wasn’t involved in the financial crimes division. That would have been really useless.

  28. 28.

    Comrade Colette

    @Feathers: Ooooh, I like it  – with the understanding that the division is between ‘G’ and ‘unseelie.’ Let’s not tar the fair folk unfairly.

    ETA: I realize you meant a portmanteau of gun and unseelie. I’m just trying not to call attention from the spirits in question.

  31. 31.

    Feathers

    @Comrade Colette: I was thinking evil gun fairies. One thing I learned in my Irish childhood is that the fairies are to be feared. This Barbie shit is leading children astray.

  36. 36.

    West of the Rockies

    So a quick Wiki check revealed Bongino has an MA in psychology and an MBA.  No mention of football.  He sure has a bad case of RSF: resting stupid face

    As a former colleague would rudely say when encountering a notably homely person, “Man, the ugly stick has been working overtime!”

  39. 39.

    westyny

    Charlie Kirk’s flop sweat splashed through my computer. Eww. Also, hahaha, you are so f&cked.

  41. 41.

    Yutsano

    @Ivan X: That was their original job when they were created in 1865. They started protecting presidents under Cleveland part time going to full time after the assassination of McKinley. Until 2003 they were under the Department of the Treasury before being moved to Department of Homeland Security. They really need to go back to Treasury. DHS really tore them from their roots.

    EDIT: @Martin: I have links. I win. :P

  45. 45.

    NotMax

    @Martin

    Yup. Part of the Treasury Department from their inception up until the Rube Goldberg’s cube of Homeland Security was birthed.

    Trivia:

    Although providing presidential security wasn’t a part of their mission, it’s still kind of spooky that Lincoln signed the legislation creating the Secret Service the morning of the day of his assassination.

  48. 48.

    Kent

    @Anne Laurie:

    @Anya: IMO, Boebert’s just a carnival geek.  The one to worry about is Marjorie Taylor-Green, who seems to be genuinely eager to be A Voice for the Qanon Cult.  (That’s why I didn’t include her in this particular line-up.)

    None of them really need to be worried about.  They are side shows.  The ones who need to be worried about are the ones in swing districts that might swing the House.  And then the ones in power like McCarthy.

  49. 49.

    Kent

    @westyny:Charlie Kirk’s flop sweat splashed through my computer. Eww. Also, hahaha, you are so f&cked.

    Reminds me of the famous “Crying Nazi” after Charlottesville.

  50. 50.

    prostratedragon

    @Anne Laurie:  Back in the 60s there was a comic who referred to LBJ’s daughters, the hems of whose garments ought remain unsullied by the salutations of the one in question today, as “semi-beautiful.” What we got here is “semi-hot” or something.

  52. 52.

    West of the Rockies

    @Kent:

    You might be the perfect person to ask… my daughter (19) is moving to Eugene to be a Duck.  She is majoring in psychology and queer studies.  Are there any streets or neighborhoods she should avoid as far as looking for a rental (house or apartment).

  53. 53.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    Crawthorn is a real person and not some actor playing a member of the evil frat in an Animal House remake?

  56. 56.

    Kent

    @West of the Rockies:

    @Kent:

    You might be the perfect person to ask… my daughter (19) is moving to Eugene to be a Duck.  She is majoring in psychology and queer studies.  Are there any streets or neighborhoods she should avoid as far as looking for a rental (house or apartment).

    Well, I grew up there but haven’t really been around much since.  Eugene is just about the whitest place you are ever going to find and it is pretty homogenous.  I’d say it is pretty much what you see is what you get.  There is an epidemic of homelessness like other west coast cities.  I’d advise just looking for what looks safe and secure, not so much which specific streets and neighborhoods are best.

    Closer you are to campus probably the better.  Then the more affluent neighborhoods spread out to the south into the hills.  The further north you go the closer to the river you get and the more homeless riffraff because there is so much green space and park land down there where they have encampments.  So if I was to make a general recommendation I would suggest looking south of campus rather than north or west.  But I wouldn’t stress it that much.  Eugene is Oakland or Chicago or some place like that with distinct neighborhoods that vary hugely between rich and poor and high crime vs low crime

    I haven’t looked at the student housing scene there.  It’s among the list of schools that my daughter has applied to and been accepted to. But she is holding out for UW I think, which is our in-state flagship and will be much cheaper than UO.  But my experience with my oldest daughter who went to Arkansas is that there are now lots of what are basically private dorms around these big universities that might be a good option to start with.  Usually decent amenities and safe.  My daughter lived in one in Fayetteville her sophomore year after moving out of the dorms.  I expect there must be the same around UO.

  60. 60.

    Mai Naem mobile

    @gene108: i may be completely wrong here but here goes.. Schwab was a big Trumper.  Both Fidelity and Schwab say they vet these organizations. Turning Point is a big Trumpov booster, especially among the younger set which the GOP is having a harder time recruiting. So they are either getting their investors unknowingly throw money at a right wing organization or knowingly throw money at a right wing organization but anonymize by making it just Fidelity and Schwab investors.

  64. 64.

    Starboard Tack

    @Kent:

    We’re aiming to make Boebert and Buck and Lamborn the dying embers of National Republican representation from Colorado.

  65. 65.

    Kent

    @Starboard Tack:

    @Kent:

    We’re aiming to make Boebert and Buck and Lamborn the dying embers of National Republican representation from Colorado.

    You should probably be able to squeeze some of them out through redistricting.  I imagine all the growth in CO since 2010 has been in the suburbs so you will end up with more suburban-centric districts and fewer rural ones.  That is what I expect for WA.  That isn’t even gerrymandering per se, just redrawing so that districts bordering on the suburbs become more suburban and less rule do to population growth.

  67. 67.

    Kent

    I wonder how empty the White House is going to be the next….[checks calendar]  4.5 business days.  I’m guessing a shitload of staff are going to be burning up remaining sick leave and vacation pay to avoid getting within eyesight of the orange monster.  Who needs that.  What are they going to do.  Fire you?  There is probably no one left to even do that.

  68. 68.

    Yutsano

    @Kent:

    That is what I expect for WA. That isn’t even gerrymandering per se, just redrawing so that districts bordering on the suburbs become more suburban and less rule do to population growth.

    We can’t gerrymander in this state anyway. We have an independent redistricting system. The effect will be the same as (from what I understand) we’re also gaining a district somewhere. So something will have to be drawn so that the growth around Vancouver and the I-5 corridor will allow a district to open up somewhere. There even might be a way to squeeze McMorris-Rodgers out of her seat. NOTHING would make me happier than that.

  69. 69.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    update! turning point says that kirk ended up only sending seven buses.

    “I was funded to organise 80 buses but I only paid for seven and pocketed the other 90%, so no harm done.”

  70. 70.

    Kent

    @Yutsano:We can’t gerrymander in this state anyway. We have an independent redistricting system. The effect will be the same as (from what I understand) we’re also gaining a district somewhere. So something will have to be drawn so that the growth around Vancouver and the I-5 corridor will allow a district to open up somewhere. There even might be a way to squeeze McMorris-Rodgers out of her seat. NOTHING would make me happier than that.

    Yep.  Here in the WA-3rd, absolutely ALL of the growth has been in Clark County (almost 100,000 new residents in suburban Vancouver since 2010) and not all the far flung MAGA lands that sprawl from the coast to the crest of the Cascades and beyond.  So Herrera Beutler’s district is going to shrink dramatically and become more of a Clark-County centric district.  Clark County is a Biden +5 district in the last election.  So she might be very beatable this time.  She is getting lots of local Dem love for her impeachment vote on local social media.  I think that was strategic.  Plus, because of our jungle primary, all our GOP-ers can’t really be primaried from the right like in other states.  Which also explains why they are braver.  They only have to worry about electoral challenges from the left.  You can’t MAGA primary an incumbent in a jungle primary.

  71. 71.

    Kent

    FYI…we are at 393,928 Covid deaths today.  We will hit 400,000 by the weekend and be at about 410,000 by Biden’s inauguration.   US military deaths during all of WW2 were 416,800.  We might exactly hit that by the time Biden is sworn in.  We have no doubt already blown way past it due to all the uncounted deaths.  But the official toll could be very close to WW2.

  72. 72.

    mrmoshpotato

    So much to… wow.

    “They’re overplaying a lot of things, including the deaths of these people on Capitol Hill” — Rep. Darrell Issa

    Darrell, just give us a full-throated “Fuck the dead!”

    when you brought 80 buses of people to an insurrection and want your audience of republican millionaires to forget it

    Charlie, are you ok?  You sound scared and on the verge of tears.

    “My first thought was that the Iranians had followed through on their threat to strike the Capitol.”

    So many brown-skinned, Persian-speaking attackers on the 6th, Susie.  You can see from the videos that the white trash made of themselves.

    Dear @FBI You asked for help tracking down the terrorists who attempted to overthrow the govt. I give you Congresswoman @laurenboebert who actually live-tweeted @SpeakerPelosi‘s location to the rioters.

    Throw her out.  Literally throw her out.  Throw her out literally on her face.

    Biden has a historic opportunity to unify America behind the sentiment that our political divisions have gone too far

    Too far?  Out of nowhere I presume.  Launch yourself into the Sun, Little Shitbag.

    Cawthorn encouraged attendees to “call your congressman and feel free — you can lightly threaten them.”

    Retired Air Force colonel who’s also a retired judge or…  Fuck most of the voters in NC-11.

    No, sorry. You’ve got to carry this baby for the rest of your lives.

    Nothing to add here.

    Oh, and can Rand Paul’s neighbor make a trip to South Carolina?

  76. 76.

    Martin

    Looking at data about the insurrection districts, and it’s basically what I expected. Historically white, rapid growth of black, latino, and asian residents who are younger and climbing the economic ladder, so the youngs are changing the culture and the wealth gap between whites and POC is closing.

    The white people aren’t getting poorer – they’re simply having to share social status and don’t get to monopolize the local culture. No real economic loss, loss of jobs, loss of property value. Trump’s entire message was to protect them from this change.

  77. 77.

    Starboard Tack

    @Kent:

    We’re expecting that gerrymandering isn’t going to be possible. We instituted 2 independent commisions for this redistricting filled by random drawings from pools of Democrats, Republicans, and Unaffiliated.

  81. 81.

    Kent

    @Starboard Tack:

    @Kent:

    We’re expecting that gerrymandering isn’t going to be possible. We instituted 2 independent commisions for this redistricting filled by random drawings from pools of Democrats, Republicans, and Unaffiliated.

    You won’t have to gerrymander.  The state is rapidly becoming more urban, which should naturally make it more blue in the next redistricting.  The bright red MAGA counties are becoming a shrinking percentage of the total population with each passing year.

  84. 84.

    Steeplejack

    Twitter comment on that Madison Cawthorn “Hitler enthusiast” picture: “Dress for the job you want, not the job you’ve got.”

  86. 86.

    Yutsano

    @Kent: Going off of that…I wonder what the repercussions will be for Newhouse for his yes vote for impeachment are going to be. He’s going to get bum-rushed HARD in the jungle primary next year to the point where he might get forced out. And depending on the MAGAtude of the replacement that could possibly mean a Democrat gets elected to the 4th District for the first time since Inslee was the representative here.

  87. 87.

    Starboard Tack

    @Kent:

    Boebert’s district is about the western fourth of the state and southern third east to the plains. I expect the district to shrink and may become even more white if it loses Pueblo. Diane Mitsch Bush came close to winning as it was. As soon as the districts are set we’ll know where to organize to get rid of Freakshow.

  88. 88.

    Kent

    @Yutsano:@Kent: Going off of that…I wonder what the repercussions will be for Newhouse for his yes vote for impeachment are going to be. He’s going to get bum-rushed HARD in the jungle primary next year to the point where he might get forced out. And depending on the MAGAtude of the replacement that could possibly mean a Democrat gets elected to the 4th District for the first time since Inslee was the representative here.

    That would shock me.  He would have to place 3rd in the jungle primary which would be shocking for an incumbent.  If a MAGAt makes it into the top two he should cruise to victory in the general with the bulk of the Dem and non-crazy GOP vote.  If a Dem takes second in the primary it will be a repeat of 2020.

    The jungle primary makes it orders of magnitude harder to mount a primary challenge from the right.

  89. 89.

    Amir Khalid

    @Starboard Tack:

    Lindsay Graham’s not really that hard to grok. McCain was his daddy. Now McCain is gone, and he’s made Trump his daddy. When Trump is gone, he’ll start looking for another daddy.

    Graham will take any amount of shit from a daddy. Trump gives him more shit than McCain did, but he doesn’t mind that as long as Daddy Trump keeps him around.

  90. 90.

    opiejeanne

    @Kent: Today the Worldometer for Covid said that over 10,000 Americans died today of it. That’s more than twice the highest single-day deaths in the U.S.

  93. 93.

    Martin

    Just saw that one of these real ‘murica insurrectionists wore a Burberry coat to storm the capitol.

    They are getting ID’ed fast. The Parler dump has really sped up the citizen investigators.

  94. 94.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Starboard Tack:

    I’m amazed at Lindsey Graham. That much debasement and humiliation would kill an ordinary human being. 

    Yeah.  It’s a sight to behold – a sickening sight.

  95. 95.

    Martin

    @opiejeanne: Puts on data science hat.

    Almost certain that’s an error. In social datasets you rarely see jumps like that, and if you see a 2x or some other clean integer multiple of what you expected to see, that usually indicates that a dataset was double-loaded, or two days worth of data were combined, maybe the changed the reset time for how they bin the data and got two reporting sets into one bin, etc.

    I’d assume we’re still in the 4K range and seek confirmation at another site. I would think that 10k would be the largest font headline on any day other than a day when the president is impeached (again).

  96. 96.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Martin: I would think a single-day national 5000+ death increase would have every decently-run state yelling emergency alerts at everyone.

  97. 97.

    TriassicSands

    @Anne Laurie:

    Greene is apparently planning on calling for the impeachment of Biden (abuse of power) on the 21st. I guess it’s part of the GOP’s efforts to “heal.”

  98. 98.

    TriassicSands

    This made me laugh:

    Lauren Boebert is the Matt Gaetz of Jim Jordans

    And here I thought she was the Marjorie Taylor Greene of Sarah Palins. Live and learn.

  99. 99.

    randy khan

    About Melania Trump’s statement, leaving aside the excruciating level of self pity, I am trying to remember a single American political figure who included the names of the 9/11 terrorists in any list of the names of the people to be mourned.

  100. 100.

    SFAW

    @Kent:

    None of them really need to be worried about.  They are side shows.

    “I hope Trump is the nominee, people will see what a train wreck he is and Hillary will win a LANDSLIDE.”

  101. 101.

    SFAW

    @TriassicSands:

    Greene is apparently planning on calling for the impeachment of Biden (abuse of power) on the 21st. I guess it’s part of the GOP’s efforts to “heal.”

    Is “being a fucking moron/asshole” a reason for expulsion from the House? I guess it probably isn’t, since there seem to be so many Rethugs who still have their seats.

  102. 102.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    @SFAW: Isn’t the proper legal term “aggravated Gingrichery”? He was sort of the ur-example of the antidemocratic Republican thug legislator, after all.

  103. 103.

    J R in WV

    @Starboard Tack:

    Boebert’s district is about the western fourth of the state and southern third east to the plains. I expect the district to shrink and may become even more white if it loses Pueblo. Diane Mitsch Bush came close to winning as it was. As soon as the districts are set we’ll know where to organize to get rid of Freakshow.

    I suspect you won’t have to worry about the Boebert freak in the next election.

    It has traditionally been very hard to run for re-election from a federal prison.

  104. 104.

    lowtechcyclist

    The pro-life movement must make it clear: Donald Trump does not represent us.

    Funny how they could have easily said “Donald Trump does not represent us because the coronavirus killed 400,000 Americans while Trump not only did nothing to stop it, he even got in the way of those who tried.”

    Oddly enough, the premature ending of those 400,000 lives didn’t even rate a mention from this “pro-life” group.  That’s how much they care about human life: zero.

  105. 105.

    Chris Johnson

    Some of you folks such as Anya are wrong, and here is why:

    We have to keep track of people being groomed to be the new Trump, or the Trump of four or eight or sixteen years from now, and we have to be particularly careful of one thing: the ones who are stoking extreme right-wing populist batshit insanity WHILE NOT BELIEVING IT THEMSELVES. Trump’s big handicap is that he believes his own crap, and that’s probably saved us… to some extent. It’s certainly doomed him, he’s extremely fucked and the question is, what’s happening to his horde?

    So we do in fact have to keep track of people like the QAnoners in Congress, because they are looking to martyr themselves, being true believers. But they believe total madness and get so worked up that they become ineffective, they’re the canonical Trump Fleet that sinks because they’re stressed and delusional and can’t interact with reality without telegraphing how crazy they are. They can’t hide, they can’t plan well.

    All my instincts are absolutely screaming that Madison Cawthorn is a liar: not sure how stupid he is, but one of the things about Nazis is that you cannot take them at face value. This holds for the whole alt-right, and is itself stressful to deal with (there’s good videos on this from ‘Innuendo Studios’ on youtube). You absolutely cannot ‘debate’ or negotiate with people like this on the basis that they will say what they mean: it’s always a tactic, you are the enemy, ANYTHING they do or say is a chess move to get in a position where they can kill you and the other enemies. They really enjoy this, it’s about the only thing they do enjoy.

    That means, you can scorn them, in a sense you can ‘ignore’ them, but you do NOT ignore them in the sense that you’re not paying attention and begin to take their assertions at face value. Some people just fundamentally lie and con and manipulate. Ignore that, and you’re enabling them. You have to call out their untrustworthiness and THEN write ’em off if you like. You do not write them off and then go ‘I’m sure they’re sincere but’… because they are actively violating every norm of civilized society as intelligently as they can in order to conquer it and start killing you.

    Madison Cawthorn is all of this, trying to establish himself as the next alt-right heir apparent. If I was him I would be FAKE in a wheelchair as a tactic. “Mein Fuhrer! I can walk! I can also murder key liberal politicians with a concealed handgun, surprising them since I told them I couldn’t even rise from the wheelchair!”

    Some of these people, do NOT ignore. Ever.

  106. 106.

    taumaturgo

    These POS traitors who couldn’t or refused to summons the dignity and courage to carry their oath of office to protect and defend the constitution by getting rid of the seditious lying MF in the WH should have the label traitor follow them for the rest of their terms. “For what purpose is Mr or Mrs xxxx  the Traitor from Texas seeks recognition?”

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