Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

As long as McCarthy is Speaker, the House will never be in order.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

The willow is too close to the house.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Battle won, war still ongoing.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Late Night Open Thread: It’s Hard Out There for A Conspiracy Pimp

Late Night Open Thread: It’s Hard Out There for A Conspiracy Pimp

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Maybe I’ve watched too many “news” interviews, but I have a feeling this clip may be a preview of Trump’s upcoming second impeachment trial — a very sombre legal team trying to argue that If the ‘president’ believes it, it is not a lie, while their client rants and preens for the camera…

The Democratic Party — hell, the United States of America — can’t sue for harm to our business. But what’s left of the GOP is liable to take a fatal torching, irregardless.

Reader Interactions

68Comments

  1. 1.

    lgerard

    I am very tired of people saying that “45 Senators voted that impeaching a president once he is out of office is unconstitutional”

    No they didn’t

    45 Senators voted in favor of a motion to hold a vote to decide whether or not that action was constitutional.

    There is a difference.

  2. 2.

    smike

    @lgerard: I agree, however I have a feeling we know why they wanted to vote that way, though. If successful, they wouldn’t have to go on record as to who their daddy is. Monsters there be, fer sure.

  3. 3.

    Viva BrisVegas

    Now Newsmax is part of “cancel culture”.

    Not that they ever weren’t.

    Will they now have a follow up segment on how they “canceled” the pillow guy?

  4. 4.

    mrmoshpotato

    If the ‘president’ believes it, it is not a lie

    That argument probably would make Tricky Dick climb out of his grave and punch a motherfucker.

  5. 5.

    Yutsano

    @Viva BrisVegas: ​
    Kan we haz damnato memoriæ naow plz? Kthxbai!

    Seriously, it’s like they had no idea what he was going to say. Newsmax had to be at least somewhat familiar with what happens with these idiots now. Did they just expect a nice normal interview just because he’s one of the Tribe?

    Wait…don’t answer that.

  7. 7.

    lgerard

    Well, he did say that he is revealing “all the evidence” on Friday, so we have that to look forward to.

  8. 8.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Yutsano: ​
     

    Did they just expect a nice normal interview just because he’s one of the Tribe?

    Oops! Got one of the nuttier squirrel turds!

  9. 9.

    Ruckus

    @lgerard:

    I didn’t listen to his dumb ass, was it this Friday? Or some unspecified Friday to be named at a later date, when he finds that screw that fell out. More like an entire box of screws but I’m not waiting for him to find them…

  11. 11.

    Chetan Murthy

    @Yutsano: To be a member of the Tribe, is to believe in a number of unhinged theories: cancel culture, stolen election, BLM are terrorists, climate change is a hoax, etc, etc.  When you’re paid for your work in Tribe media, you learn, I suppose, to treat each of those as separate, so if you’re told tomorrow to emphasize #2 and downplay #5, you do it.  If you’re told not to mention #5, you do it.  Maybe it’s like how committed Communists went from “anti-Hitler” to “pro-Hitler” to “anti-Hitler” depending on whether Stalin and Hitler were getting along or not.

    I suppose it depends on having a certain amount of intellect, to be able to pull it off.  But if you’re really stupid, then you can’t do it.  You can’t control your mouth-box, and you start spouting theory #5 even when it’s off-limits.  Even when you’ve already agreed to not spout it.

    Also, maybe Trump has some sort of hold over Lindell — kompromat ?  Trump is, after all, a mobster.  But I don’t think that’d be necessary.  I think Lindell is just not very smart, and he’s unable to control his squawker.

  12. 12.

    lgerard

    I’m assuming that it is this coming Friday, at least that was what it sounded like.

    Of course, goal posts have a habit of moving in mypillowland

  14. 14.

    ant

    They just wanted to cry about cancel culture, then canceled their guest right then and there.

     

    Gee, can’t imagine why twitter canceled this fuckin stupid psycho.

  15. 15.

    Chetan Murthy

    @ant: It was delicious, how the anchor just walked off the set, eh?  “I’m not gonna sit here and talk myself into the witness chair in a lawsuit, along with penury; fuck that.”

  16. 16.

    JoyceH

    @ant: 

    Gee, can’t imagine why twitter canceled this fuckin stupid psycho.

    First he got his personal account suspended, so he goes on the official My PIllow corporate account to continue his rants, and he gets that account suspended. At which point the One Fresh PIllow account taunted, “Tweet tweet tweetly tweet”, just to rub it in that THEY still had a usable Twitter account.

  19. 19.

    mrmoshpotato

    @JoyceH: At which point the One Fresh PIllow account taunted, “Tweet tweet tweetly tweet”, just to rub it in that THEY still had a usable Twitter account.

    LMAO!  Nice!

  20. 20.

    mrmoshpotato

    @RandomMonster: ​
     

    Interesting question: Will they try to get Trump to testify in court?

    Must Nazi TV?

    Seriously, I’m not going to watch any of this shitshow.

  21. 21.

    Chetan Murthy

    @mrmoshpotato: It’ll be almost a month since Biden took over: a month of seeing our President not-much, and always working, with stuff getting done.  To see Shitler re-emerge, and almost-certainly do his old schtick, but with added cray-cray …. well, that’s gotta turn off a lotta non-deplorable Republicans, I would think.

    Maybe like: having left your abusive boyfriend a few months ago, and then when you’re out with your mom & dad, you see him with a new girlfriend, doing the same things to her, that he used to do to you.

  23. 23.

    NotMax

    Yes, it’s true. The paper filed by Dolt45’s counsel du jour misspells “United States.”

  27. 27.

    West of the Rockies

    @sab:

    I think it was “Unites States”.

    Also, too, Lindell really does bark and slobber while speaking.

  30. 30.

    Chetan Murthy

    @TriassicSands: Ehh, I kinda put a lot of the suburbanites who went Dem these past two cycles, into that bin.  Maybe with a few more cycles’ worth of voting Dem, they’ll get solid, but right now, I don’t count them as solid Dem votes.  It wouldn’t take all that much to scare ’em back into the GrOPer camp, I fear.

  33. 33.

    West of the Rockies

    It wasn’t long ago that Lindell just seemed to be a jovial knucklehead with a popular product.  Now he’s a cretinous loon with a tail-spinning company.

    One hopes MTG soon returns to being just a lecherous, bleached-out bigot.

  34. 34.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    I can just imagine Newsmax’s legal department calling the control room: “You know how we warned that if we fought the Dominion lawsuit, we’d all get our asses sued off? That was NOT A METAPHOR.”

  36. 36.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    Q. And may I finally ask whether the President has made a decision on keeping, or keeping the scope of, Space Force?

    MS. PSAKI: Wow. Space Force. It’s the plane* of today!

    MS. PSAKI: It is an interesting question. I am happy to check with our Space Force point of contact. I’m not sure who that is. I will find out, and see if we have any update on that.

    * during the first week, the idiot press corp kept asking her if Biden would reverse Dump’s proposed changes to Air Force One’s color scheme, to which she had to repeatedly say Biden doesn’t care.​​

  37. 37.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    Q. And then, on the meeting with the Republican senators, you said the word “reiterate.” I think in the statement last night, it had the word “reiterate” three separate times. Like, it’s very clear where you guys —

    MS. PSAKI: We like that word. It’s a good word.

    MS. PSAKI: It’s a solid word.

  41. 41.

    Kristine

    Said it before, and I’ll say it again. So glad that I never bought one of those damned pillows.

  42. 42.

    Chris T.

    a very sombre legal team trying to argue that If the ‘president’ believes it, it is not a lie, while their client rants and preens for the camera…

    Hm… and/or use the Kryten-defending-Rimmer approach? “Our client is so stupid, he even objects to his own lawyers… you can’t charge him with sedition, he’s an IQ-45 moron!”

  43. 43.

    Patricia Kayden

    Trump's lawyers are on very weak ground with this "an impeachment trial is unconstitutional once the president has left office" defense. Nothing in the Constitution backs them on that.— Matt Murchison ?? (@MattMurchison) February 3, 2021

  44. 44.

    Amir Khalid

    @Kristine: Do MyPillows have a unique selling point, or are they just plain old pillows? The site doesn’t mention any special features.

  47. 47.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    @Amir Khalid: they’re worse than plain pillows.  NY Magazine did a review and they said it was unsleepable as it had hard lumps through out.

    I replaced my normal pillows with them anyway and didn’t tell my boyfriend until he asked, while closing his eyes, why it felt like he was sleeping “on a bed of rocks.”
    ***
    By the second night, my boyfriend had apparently forgotten about our conversation of the night before. “What is this?” he said, poking at the pillow. “It’s like a sack of potatoes.”  (link)​​​​

  48. 48.

    JWR

    Patricia Kayden:

    Trump’s lawyers are on very weak ground with this “an impeachment trial is unconstitutional once the president has left office” defense.

    Agreed, but Isn’t this the rationale used by John Roberts in not hearing the case? (Not that Mr. Balls ‘n’ Strikes would allow that pesky Constitution keep him from striking out on this one.)

    PS. Hope my mostly forgotten HTML-fu worked, cuz commenting is still borked for me.

  49. 49.

    trnc

    @lgerard: 

    I am very tired of people saying that “45 Senators voted that impeaching a president once he is out of office is unconstitutional”

    No they didn’t

    45 Senators voted in favor of a motion to hold a vote to decide whether or not that action was constitutional.

    There is a difference.

    There really isn’t. It’s part of their kabuki. Find the last time the senate voted to decide whether a senate action or proposed bill was constitutional. I doubt you’ll find much because that isn’t their job. That’s the Supreme Court’s job. Most, if not all, senators in office before 2021 have voted directly on bills they know could be found unconstitutional by the SC.

    A good faith argument would be that it isn’t constitutional but there’s precedent for it, so they’ll vote but they’ll ask SCOTUS to review. The 45 senators are not known for their good faith, so there’s no reason to give them any cover.

  50. 50.

    JWR

    @Amir Khalid: ​

    Several years ago, somebody gave me one of those things. I tried it for a few days, it gave me a headache, so I gave it back for the refund. I also found out I had an old one, so I checked the insides, and the filling looked like slightly darker, standard issue pillow stuffing to me. I’ve long thought the whole thing was some sort of mail order scam.

  51. 51.

    Anne Laurie

    @Amir Khalid: Do MyPillows have a unique selling point, or are they just plain old pillows?

    According to Olivia Nuzzi, who did a report for NYMag, they’re filled with chunks of foam and ‘cotton’ lumps — and they’re really uncomfortable!

  52. 52.

    trnc

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques: ​
     

    wait, isn’t Newsmax the frothing Hard Right, POWNing the libertads at Fox News?

    Yes, but they’re under the threat of a very real defamation lawsuit by Dominion. Now, you and I might think that bringing on a guy who helped bring on that lawsuit would not be the best way to start working yourselves out of that lawsuit, but that’s why we don’t work for wingnut media.

  53. 53.

    S. Cerevisiae

    The pillow yutz says he is going to run for governor of Minnesota, it should be great entertainment.

  55. 55.

    trnc

    https://twitter.com/richardmerren/status/1356696978848112640

    It’s kind of ridiculous to debate it. He was impeached, the constitution specifically says the Senate has sole authority to try ALL impeachments, and they have decided to do so. The trial is happening–that’s not a matter for debate.

    This is a point I’m not sure I’ve seen before, and sounds to me like the bad faith constitutional argument slayer. There is no exception for an official who timed his or her crimes so that they could squeak out the door right afterward, and in particular someone who actually was impeached while in office. I hope the managers will make this point and prebut Rand Paul’s ridiculous eminent rants by saying that any senator of his ilk needs to explain their definition of the word “All.”

  56. 56.

    Dopey-o

    @RandomMonster:

    I will eagerly watch a second Dump trial.

    I will gladly pay you next Tuesday to let me watch a 2nd Trump trial, esp. if he is called. It will be joy to watch him squirm, calculate and calibrate his lies. Can he go 11 hours in the hot seat like Hillary?

    He will embarrass himself, contradict himself, and probably blurt out incriminating details that will get forwarded to NYC for use in his future trials.

    Last year I heard someone refer to the 1st impeachment as “the World Series of Politics.” With Trump on the

    stand, it may be the Super Bowl AND the World Cup this time.

    Hoping and praying for injuries….

  59. 59.

    sab

    My husband just ordered me to inform Anne Laurie that irregardless is not a word, regardless of what Merriam Webster’s people think.

  60. 60.

    SFAW

    @Dopey-o:

    Can he go 11 hours in the hot seat like Hillary?

    Hell, he couldn’t even go 11 minutes without doing something stupid or lying. But what’s the over/under for 11 seconds?

    it may be the Super Bowl AND the World Cup this time.

    Looking forward to the myriad own-goals that the Murderer-in-Chief would spew under questioning.

  62. 62.

    Jerry

    @lgerard:

    Well, he did say that he is revealing “all the evidence” on Friday, so we have that to look forward to.

    Will he also have proof of Obama’s birth in Kenya in that evidence dump?

  63. 63.

    karen marie

    @Patricia Kayden: Trump was still president when he was impeached. Republicans chose to wait till after Biden was sworn in to have the trial. Trump’s defense is that he’s still president. The constitutionality claim has no legs. Why is it still walking around?

  64. 64.

    Boris Rasputin (the evil twin)

    @RandomMonster: Trump testifying before the Senate would be the most unhinged thing since Captain Queeg in “The Caine Mutiny.” Bonus is someone whispers “the strawberries” to him just before he starts.

  65. 65.

    Wapiti

    Trump testifying in the impeachment trial would be a bad idea, even for Trump.

    The impeachment is merely about whether he is removed from office and whether he is banned from ever running again. This is not a criminal trial about his guilt in inciting a mob in insurrection against the United States. That trial could still happen, and his testimony here could be used against him.

    I bet he doesn’t testify under oath in the Senate trial.

  66. 66.

    dnfree

    @Anne Laurie: certainly Walt Kelly used a lot of words that weren’t really words and will never be found in the dictionary!

    If you’re a lifelong fan as I am, you should look into the books now being released that contain all the daily and Sunday cartoons. It has been a labor of love, started by his daughter and others. The daughter has sadly since died but they are carrying on.

  67. 67.

    There are those who call me...tim... (Still posh)

    @Jerry: No, because the Obama Thing is so much that old stupid thing. Trump does this one stupid thing, before ya know it, there’s been 100 more stupid things. Who can keep up? Sometimes I think he actually knows what he’s doing.

  68. 68.

    There are those who call me...tim... (Still posh)

    @Jerry: No, because the Obama Thing is so much that old stupid thing. Trump does this one stupid thing, before ya know it, there’s been 100 more stupid things. Who can keep up? Sometimes I think he actually knows what he’s doing.

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