Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / ‘Sure, Jan’

‘Sure, Jan’

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Ted Cruz is flying back from Mexico to frozen Texas with only the white hot outrage of that state’s suffering citizens to keep him warm:

Looking forward to reading the full statement so that I might assess the creative writing skills of Cruz’s flacks. I’m trying to think of reasons someone might take the time, expense and hassle of flying to another country to spend a single night, but “oops, busted, PR disaster” is really the only plausible explanation.

Open thread!

ETA: Well, damn — it was a joke? Unclear. Other outlets seem to confirm Cruz is returning, but maybe the statement thing is a joke. Unclear!

[Emily Litella voice] Never mind!

Reader Interactions

122Comments

  2. 2.

    Baud

    Statement to come: Senator Cruz was always flying back to Texas today. He merely accompanied his family for the night.

    Let’s see the original booking confirmation.

  4. 4.

    James E Powell

    Fortunately for Ted Cruz, by the time he’s up for re-election, the white voters of Texas will have forgotten all about this.

  6. 6.

    lofgren

    I’m thinking of when my dad was in politics and would often accompany us for whatever tiny amount of vacation he possibly could, sometimes driving hours to have lunch with us before going back to work.

    Never did it during a natural disaster, though.

  7. 7.

    rp

    Well, they blew up the Trump hotel and casino last night
    And Rush Limbaugh died too
    Down in Texas, they’re freezin’ cause of the right
    It ain’t the green new deal or a Jew

  8. 8.

    danielx

    He just wanted to make sure his family arrived safely before returning to battle the frozen wastes and bureaucracy on behalf of his constituents, amirite?

    Jaysus Mary and Joseph but it’s amusing watching Texas pols (Republicans in control for last thirty years, natch) trying to blame somebody – anybody – except themselves. Like, how did the dirty fucking hippies manage to infiltrate and control the state’s entire energy sector?

  9. 9.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    My sister is in Dallas and my niece is at Sam Houston State University. Both are having a miserable time. Also, too. Fuck ted cruz.

  11. 11.

    taumaturgo

    Ted -no defense – Cruz will try to bamboozle his constituents and he will most likely succeed, proving the power of the demonizing and smearing campaign by the GOP against Democrats. Even the most obnoxious and obtuse act by lying Ted is better than having a decent Democrat represent them in the Senate.

  12. 12.

    Leto

    @trollhattan: “Well my dad killed JFK, I’m the Zodiac Killer, so it’s perfectly plausible that my family doesn’t understand how planes work. Also my wife’s ugly. No further questions will be taken at this time.” – Full statement from Teddy Hascal Cruz

  13. 13.

    Jeffro

    The damage is done, Ted.  Beto’s been working non-stop for his fellow Texans, and TX Dems are calling for your resignation.

    Go start an insurrection somewhere, you’re all done here.

    As Jamelle Bouie noted earlier, a US Senate seat is (supposed to be) a public trust, not just a forum for shitposting, and there’s plenty of good Cruz could have been doing…if he were’t busy ahem ‘accompanying’ his family…

  16. 16.

    Leto

    @danielx: why with Obama’s magic time machine, of course! AOC borrowed it to travel back a decade, persuade lonely dude bro Republicans with her wiles to make a meager investment in renewable energy, JUST SO THAT IN FEB 2021 (when the worst winter storm in decades hits the state) EVERYTHING COLLAPSES!

    Check mate!

  17. 17.

    trollhattan

    @Jeffro:

    Cornyn must be thankful every day that he retains title of “second-worst senator from Texas” because he’s pretty fucking awful on his best day.

  19. 19.

    Jeffro

    @LurkerNoLonger: and it’s only Thursday morning!

    Limbaugh croaked, trumpov’s Atlantic City place was torn down, and now Cruz self-owns his way out of a job he never should have been trusted with (and never really did) in the first place.

    2021, you took a while to get going but this is turning out to be quite the comeback.  ;)

  20. 20.

    LuciaMia

    I remember when Chris Christie, then Gov., got a lotta flack for being in Florida while a huge blizzard was hitting New Jersey. But at least he was already there (vacation with e kids) and at least he flew back (Though he was very whiny about it.)

  21. 21.

    Mike in NC

    Switched on the TV and was presented with the bloated ugly face of Donald Fucking Trump being asked to comment on the death of Limbaugh. Grabbed the remote and hit the mute button in record time. He needs to be ignored and dismissed forever.

  22. 22.

    VOR

    @craigie:  Cruz isn’t up for re-election until 2024. This will probably be forgotten by then. If you didn’t already dislike Ted then this is unlikely to move the needle, IMHO.

  23. 23.

    Poe Larity

    There is no recall option for state positions, so Abbott and all are there to stay. Cruz could fly to the French Laundry and do an unmasked livestream to own some libs and return a hero.

  25. 25.

    Baud

    In fairness to Cruz, Cancun has electricity, running water, and is warm.  I hope Cruz mentions that in his statement.

  26. 26.

    MattF

    Just bear in mind that in the US Senate, the word’s greatest collection of preening assholes and prima donnas, everyone hates Ted Cruz. There must be some reason for that.

  29. 29.

    mrmoshpotato

    He merely accompanied his family for the night.

    C’mon! Ted!

    ETA – Damn, it’s a joke.  Ted Cruz can still go fuck himself.

  30. 30.

    brendancalling

    Reminds me of the old Cheech and Chong “stoned in court” routine. “It might seem suspicious that my client had on his person 24 pounds of marijuana, 5,000 LSD capsules, and a bottle of ripple wine. To the layman on the street, this WOULD seem suspicious. But there IS an excuse, your honor; there IS an explanation. My client had merely FOUND these drugs—and he was on his way to the police department to turn them in at the time of his arrest.”

  31. 31.

    burnspbesq

    @craigie:

    Cruz isn’t responsible for this (although if he’s held accountable for it, so be it). The original bad decision—not to join either of the big interstate grids to avoid Federal regulation—dates to the administration of “Ma” Ferguson in the 1930s. The more recent bad decisions—deregulation and, specifically, failure to require winterization of relevant infrastructure—are Rick Perry’s handiwork.

  32. 32.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @VOR:

    Cruz isn’t up for re-election until 2024. This will probably be forgotten by then. If you didn’t already dislike Ted then this is unlikely to move the needle, IMHO.

    Unless Dan Crenshaw (or George P Bush?) decides to move it

  33. 33.

    comrade scotts agenda of rage

    Is that *the* Lois Romano? The same godawful WaPo hack reporter that back in the early days of “blogging” the WaPo had their shitty political reporters (oops, double negative) do weekly chat sessions. Me and DougJ trolled them constantly.

    She was a godawful hack before the electrical teevee devices and their “news” programs began spitting out godawful hacks like Bash, Cilizza, Todd, et. al.

    I can’t remember if she retired from the WaPo or was forced out. She left during a time when her type of “reporting” was par for the WaPo so I thought she retired.

  34. 34.

    Old Dan and Little Ann

    @Uncle Cosmo: That’s got to be a Texan inside joke, yes?  Totally clueless until 5 minutes ago.  Urban Dictionary had to spell it out for me.  S.H.I.T.  lol….

  36. 36.

    Elizabelle

    Because if there is one thing a woman who worked for Goldman Sachs does not know how to do, it’s get on a plane.

    Wait?  What?

  39. 39.

    Mai Naem mobile

    Apparently Cruz’s office staff reached out to the Houston police to provide an escort to get Cruz out of the airport. I know i am not supposed to laugh at this stuff but I have been laughing at the Texas stuff. Don’t Mess With Texas indeedy.  Lol. Californians moving to AZ have their share of dbags but the Texas people are pompous prices. Oh, and Rick Perry was the fucking Energy Sec. Under Trumpov. You can’t make this shit up.

  41. 41.

    Ejoiner

    @Old Dan and Little Ann:

    Ha ha! I spent two wonderful semesters at SHSU back in ’88…mostly exploring the beautiful local state parks while experimenting with drugs for the first time. Just whacked out beyond belief! (Also, spent one memorable night with a Ouija board in the prison cemetery near our dorm…good times, good times….)

  42. 42.

    Elizabelle

    And Green Eggs and Ham Ted** has made a national NY Times “breaking news!” alert:

    BREAKING NEWS

    Senator Ted Cruz left for Cancún with his family as Texas was hit by a storm, sparking a fierce outcry. He was said to be planning to return Thursday.

    Thursday, February 18, 2021 11:41 AM EST

    As Texas was battered by an icy storm and widespread power losses that left millions of residents freezing and fearing for their safety, Senator Ted Cruz of Texas left the state on Wednesday and traveled to Mexico for a previously planned family vacation, according to a person with direct knowledge of the trip.

    Mr. Cruz’s office has not responded to inquiries about his whereabouts.

    ** soon to be known as “How was Cancun, dickhead?” Ted Cruz.

  43. 43.

    Ken

    So he is still flying back, he’s just not claiming (yet) that he’d always planned to just stay one night?  I wonder what his eventual excuse will be.

    Come to think, wasn’t part of the rush to finish the impeachment because some of the Senators had vacation plans for this week?

  46. 46.

    jonas

    If a Democratic politician had done this, we’d be at DEFCON 1 right now. I mean, California basically lost its collective shit and launched a recall campaign when Gavin Newsom ate out at a fancy restaurant during the lockdown. But a Republican chooses a fancy family vacation while his state suffers through one of the worst natural disasters in recent memory? Oh, sure, there’s some tut-tutting, but nobody’s going to call for his resignation. We’re not going to see weeks of blaring headlines like “Is Cruz Out of Touch With Texans?” or “Elitist Senator Angers Citizens Boiling Water in Dark.” Radio drive-time djs arent going to be dragging him for weeks with sound-effects and bad jokes.  Republicans being elitist dicks who clearly don’t give a shit about their constituents is just another a dog-bites-man story.

  47. 47.

    VOR

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Ted irritates the Libs. That’s all the excuse they need to vote for him. Yeah, he’s useless as a legislator and doesn’t give a crap about his fellow citizens. How is that different from other Republican politicians? He’ll do something to “own the Libs” by 2024 and will blame the kerfuffle on AOC controlling his travel or something.

    I think this is a bigger deal if he runs for President again. People in other states may not be as forgiving

    We are talking about a guy who didn’t understand the moral lesson of a Dr. Seuss story.

  53. 53.

    dmsilev

    @Elizabelle:

    Green Eggs and Ham Ted

    You have to admit, it takes a certain special talent to be able to either not get all the way through or completely reverse the moral of a Dr. Seuss story.

  54. 54.

    Jeffro

    @VOR: it’s certainly a nice opening for (future Senator?) Dan Crenshaw or any other hungry Texas Republican to primary Cruz.

    Guy’s gonna have a lot of D and R knives in his back come 2024, that’s for sure.

  57. 57.

    Jeffro

    @Salty Sam: Yeah, I guess we’ll just have to see how it shakes out.  It was a pretty epic storm and a lot of people suffered/are still suffering.  I don’t think anyone down there’s going to forget…

  58. 58.

    artem1s

    @Elizabelle:

    The poets tell how Teddy fell
    While we were blowing up Trumpy’s cheap hotels
    The desert’s frozen with a Cleveland cold
    And so the story ends, we’re told

    Teddy needs your prayers, in Cancun
    Dense used his all for Rush, it’s true
    He only did what he had to do
    And now he’s on the run

    All the Federales say
    They could have had him any day
    They only let Zodiac slip away
    Out of kindness, I suppose*

    *apologies to Townes Van Zandt

  59. 59.

    Jeffro

    @TaMara (HFG): snowballing on him now, and his lies/flimsy excuses will be even worse.  But go on Fox and tell us it was all Hunter Biden’s fault, or something, Ted.

  65. 65.

    Elizabelle

    @ Artemis.  @ rp:  You guys are hilarious.  Love the lyrics.  Keep it coming.

    FledCruz and Cancruz.  Memorable.

  67. 67.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Another Scott:

    My favourite memes are invariably the ones where an existing, almost overexposed meme, takes on new life through intersecting with a new meme (can’t post images, but examples include T**** on WH lawn yelling at sunbathing Chris Christie or cold Bernie; cold Bernie on beach with sunbathing Christie; now CanCruz with sunbathing Christie). I’m sure before the day is done, CanCruz will show up in a “Real Housewife Screams at Salad-Eating Cat” image, and I am there for it.

  69. 69.

    Another Scott

    @Baud:

    Spoke to a source at United Airlines, Senator Ted Cruz rebooked his flight back to Houston from Cancun for this afternoon at around 6 a.m. today (Thursday). He was originally scheduled to return on Saturday.https://t.co/QV9xgibIQ9

    — Edward Russell (@ByERussell) February 18, 2021

    FWIW.

    (via nycsouthpaw)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  71. 71.

    burnspbesq

    @geg6:

    Somehow, I don’t think many of my neighbors are comforted by the fact that they are “benefiting” from the absence of Federal regulation this week.

  74. 74.

    Patricia Kayden

    A friend who is homeless in Dallas due to the power outages just told me that hotel rooms that normally cost $100/night are going for $700/night there. This is evil.— MZS (@mattzollerseitz) February 18, 2021

  82. 82.

    burnspbesq

    @germy:

    one of the rare times Cruz has been right about anything. That was an egregious own goal by Adler, who should have known better. Even Pravda on the Lake (the Austin American-Statesman) ripped him a new one for that.

  85. 85.

    L85NJGT

    AOCs green electrons bring all the GOP boys to the substation yard. They should take a cold shower, like the fine citizens of Tejas.

    Shutting down the refineries will require a political scalp. I’m guessing Abbott, on account of him being a complete idiot.

  88. 88.

    randy khan

    I have to say that I read that tweet by Romano as a joke/prediction, not a statement of fact.  I certainly laughed when I read it.

  94. 94.

    artem1s

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    “Seven Minutes to Mars”

    the seven minutes of terror landing is pretty impressive.  but my favorite has to be the bouncing ball system NASA used for Exploration and Pathfinder missions. The Planetary Society podcasts have the NASA mission PIs and designers on all the time. It’s so cool to get to hear from people who do stuff like design the parachutes.

    they are hosting a watch party today with Bill Nye

    https://www.planetary.org/watchparty 

  95. 95.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    King fucked up on that. A modern day Stillson would be celebrated as indispensable enough to justify him grabbing a small child to use as a shield. Ingraham and Carlson would find several nutjobs to explain it away.

  97. 97.

    Geminid

    @L85NJGT: The ordeal Texans are going through now will not be easily forgotten. The current suffering is bad enough, and the water damage to houses alone will take months to repair. A lot will not be insured, and owners who do not lose the homes outright may be paying the repair bill for years. We will not know how consequential this disaster is politically until next year, but I think the effect will be substantial.

    And Texas has been trending blue. Obama lost Texas by 16 points in 2012, Clinton lost by 9 in 2016, and Biden closed the gap to 5.6% last November. Cruz matched Romney’s 16 point lead in his first election in 2012, but he only beat O’Rouke by 2.6% in 2018. O’Rourke mobilized a lot of new Democratic voters, and I think they are staying mobilized.

    Texas Republicans will do their best to gerrymander the state legislative districts that will be contested next year. But gerrymandering has its limits in the face of demographic changes and political shifts. In 2017 Virginia Democrats flipped 14 House of Delegate seats on a map drawn by Republicans, and they gained six more last year. In 2018, Virginia Democrats flipped 3 Congressional seats, again on a map drawn by Republicans.

  98. 98.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    I knew someone who had one of the old t-shirts for SHIT. Had the state of Texas on it and a big arrow pointing to (corrrection) Huntsville, home of SHIT.

    He wore it to traffic court once and got away with it.

  101. 101.

    patroclus

    @burnspbesq:Sort of.  The Federal Power Commission was created by the Federal Water Power Act in 1920 and it was granted the authority to regulate hydro-electric power plants.  That was amended in 1935 by the omnibus Federal Power Act, as part of the Public Utility Holding Company Act of 1935, which broadened the authority of the FPC to  all electricity and their transmission facilities.  (The FPC was later restyled as the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (“FERC”).

    As a response to the FPA, various Texas utilities began to make agreements amongst themselves to operate independently so as to avoid direct FPC regulation and to preserve what they regarded as the low-cost high profit system occasioned by the advantage of being so close to the energy production sites.  This process accelerated during WWII as the demand increased from lower Depression levels.

    Governors of Texas have little power and Ma Ferguson didn’t really have much to do with it.  It was more a private sector initiative and ERCOT’s predecessor was regulated by the Texas Railroad Commission (as presumably is ERCOT), which when run by Democrats (up until the 90’s), was a fairly well-regarded state regulator.  Since the Republicans took over the state, the Railroad Commission has been very free market hands-off and hasn’t really required anything (like weatherization) despite numerous FERC recommendations.

  102. 102.

    Geminid

    @Steeplejack (phone): The joke about the joke for satirists like Blair Erskine and Brent Terhune is that their satire is taken as serious by some viewers. This occurs often enough when Terhune puts out material about Nascar banning the confederate flag, or the sinking boat parade in Texas, that he gets to tell credulous commenters, “You’ve been Terhuned.”                 Those who missed it should check out Terhune’s “A Message from Q-Anon.” That one is wacky enough not to be taken as real.

  103. 103.

    Geminid

    @NotMax: Political trends do not neccesarily go in straight lines, and someone did prove once that Achilles could never actually outrun the tortoise. Pessimism can guard one from disappointment. But I personally am not pessimistic, partly because I experience no real harm in disappointment. I know I’m wrong plenty enough in both hopeful and fearful predictions.

  106. 106.

    Jeffro

    @germy:

     

    @LurkerNoLonger:

    She’s busy tweeting about this – trumpov snubs Haley – saying this is what trying to have it both ways gets you with the orange moron.

    Duh, Habs…the issue is, which GQP pol can do this with the trumpublican voter base and capture them?  “We thank president* trumpov…and yet, he has his issues…so, we must honor him by carrying the banner of trumpism forward…even as he deals with several lawsuits and criminal proceedings…but we thank him tremendously for promoting American values…”

    Back and forth, back and forth.  It’ll help if the pol in question has no spine ;)

  107. 107.

    Jeffro

    @Geminid:The ordeal Texans are going through now will not be easily forgotten. The current suffering is bad enough, and the water damage to houses alone will take months to repair. A lot will not be insured, and owners who do not lose the homes outright may be paying the repair bill for years. We will not know how consequential this disaster is politically until next year, but I think the effect will be substantial.

    truth

    Slightly related (maybe)…looking forward to that desperate GQP rush to get rid of the Electoral College, the moment Dems flip Texas  ;)

  111. 111.

    Booger

    I hope that in Cancun they let Rafael eat cake. He’s got a kinda Antoinette vibe to him, don’t he?*

     

    *I know this story is apocryphal, but it fits well.

  112. 112.

    Morzer

    “Are you tired of being warm in winter and able to charge your phone at home?  VOTE REPUBLICAN!”

  113. 113.

    Melville

    Here’s how another Texan was able to be with her daughter.

    https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/why-didnt-austin-energy-shut-down-some-of-its-biggest-customers-until-tuesday/

    “I had to put my mattress in the kitchen and kind of turn on and off my stove,” said Samantha Reyes. She says she knows that wasn’t safe but was desperate, going through two days without power with her kids. “I know people say it’s dangerous,” Reyes said. “I had to do what I had to do — you know, I don’t have any heaters.” While thousands of people like her faced outages, the single mom wonders why some big companies were allowed to operate. “I have a two year old, you know,” she said. “This whole time I’ve been having to cuddle with her and do all that, but then a major corporation is able to have lights and all that stuff.”

    Substitute “asshole” for “corporation” and you have it about right.

  115. 115.

    Elizabelle

    @Steeplejack (phone):   “Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

    Laughing.  That works on so many levels.  Electricity.  Water.

    Ted Cruz’s absence is merely an annoyance, as is his presence.  Coming or going.

  118. 118.

    mrmoshpotato

    @NotMax:  Trump’s bitch will claim he’s Canadian, he was never a US Senator, will claim his wife is the Zodiac killer and his kids killed JFK.

  119. 119.

    JML

    Cruz Flew and Abbott Knew…Turk 182?

    (it’s not exactly the same meaning from the movie, but it still kinda fits…)

  121. 121.

    Richard

    @craigie: no, they will probably keep him. These are the same people who were talking about seceding from the United States if trump lost. Good luck with that. I wonder what style of Spanish that Cruz even speaks? He used to be an ok “pork barrel ” politician, but now he is an embarrassment. What a stupid man.

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