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You are here: Home / Open Threads / If We Were All in Florida, and There was No Covid, How Would We Celebrate Betty’s Birthday?

If We Were All in Florida, and There was No Covid, How Would We Celebrate Betty’s Birthday?

by WaterGirl|  February 22, 20217:54 pm| 208 Comments

This post is in: Balloon Juice, Open Threads

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If We Were All in Florida, and There was No Covid, How Would We Celebrate Betty's Birthday?

If we were all in Florida, and there was no Covid, how would you want to celebrate Betty’s birthday?

I am torn between hanging out at the tiki bar – and if they don’t have one at the new place yet, we might have to help the Mister build it first – and having a modified Drunken Aunties cookie-making session. Oh, and doing some fun cooking together.  We might have to make it an entire weekend.

The real question, of course, is whether she would have us!

Open thread.

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Reader Interactions

208Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    February 22, 2021 at 7:57 pm

    Why don’t we get drunk and screw.

    Happy birthday, Betty.

  2. 2.

    debbie

    February 22, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    How nice would that be???

    ETA: And happiest of days to you, Betty!

  3. 3.

    WaterGirl

    February 22, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    @Baud: If I were the first person to read your comment, could I take that as a personal invitation?

    edit: I guess debbie has first dibs?  :-)

  4. 4.

    MazeDancer

    February 22, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    We would do whatever she commanded. Including stay away if she preferred.

    Happy Birthday, Betty!!

  5. 5.

    guachi

    February 22, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    I’d ask Betty Cracker to take me out birding.

  6. 6.

    dr. bloor

    February 22, 2021 at 7:59 pm

    The real question, of course, is whether she would have us!

    Well, bring a bottle just to make sure your welcome, but I imagine Betty would regard our reactions to snakes and gators crossing the deck during cocktail hour as being well worth the invasion.

  7. 7.

    Yutsano

    February 22, 2021 at 7:59 pm

    Birb watching, multiple snuggle sessions with Badger, gator dodging, and trying not to die in the humidity.

    At least I would think so.

  8. 8.

    Baud

    February 22, 2021 at 7:59 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    Debbie does have the coveted second spot.

  9. 9.

    WaterGirl

    February 22, 2021 at 8:00 pm

    @dr. bloor: I would be standing at the intersection of “gators only” and “snakes keep out” signs.

  10. 10.

    WaterGirl

    February 22, 2021 at 8:01 pm

    @Baud: I have never cared about the coveted second spot.  Until now.

  11. 11.

    Soprano2

    February 22, 2021 at 8:02 pm

    Happy birthday to Betty from a fellow Pisces. I turn 60 in two days, still hard to believe I’m that old.

  12. 12.

    debbie

    February 22, 2021 at 8:02 pm

    @Baud:

    She’s been so generous to all of us, I’d have to cede it to WG. Reluctantly.

  13. 13.

    Mike in NC

    February 22, 2021 at 8:03 pm

    When in Florida, I always have to get a Cuban sandwich or a fried grouper sandwich. Only Florida has the best of those.

  14. 14.

    frosty

    February 22, 2021 at 8:03 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty!

    We just left the Keys, in Naples now. I’m down with everything Yutsano recommended in #7. Except my gator reaction will be a yawn – I’ve lost count of how many I’ve seen in the last month. But I saw my first crocodile in the Everglades a couple of days ago! No Burmese Pythons though.

  15. 15.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    February 22, 2021 at 8:04 pm

    We could have a butter lamb making contest.

  16. 16.

    Citizen_X

    February 22, 2021 at 8:05 pm

    Someone would end up as gator chow.

  17. 17.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 22, 2021 at 8:05 pm

    How can you be torn between booze and booze and fresh-baked cookies? :)

  18. 18.

    dr. bloor

    February 22, 2021 at 8:08 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    We could have a butter lamb making contest.

    This has pay-per-view potential

  19. 19.

    Doc Sardonic

    February 22, 2021 at 8:08 pm

    @Mike in NC:  Por que no los dos. Hardest part is deciding which Cuban sandwich, the Tampa, the Miami or the Medianoche.

  20. 20.

    Miss Bianca

    February 22, 2021 at 8:08 pm

    Party drinks at the tiki bar would definitely be part of the equation. I like the birding idea too. Drunk birding?

  21. 21.

    Baud

    February 22, 2021 at 8:08 pm

    The real question, of course, is whether she would have us

    She’ll probably become a superspreader just to keep that from happening.

  22. 22.

    NotMax

    February 22, 2021 at 8:10 pm

    By forming a conga line to leave Florida, silly.

    :)

    Classic(al) happy birthday, B.C.

  23. 23.

    Alison Rose

    February 22, 2021 at 8:12 pm

    After my Grandma passed in 2012 and my Grandpa was moved up to an assisted living facility in Pennsylvania, I never planned on setting foot in Florida again, no offense to Betty or any other Floridian Jackals. The bugs, the humidity, the drivers, the humidity, THE FUCKING HUMIDITY I’M SORRY I’M FROM CALIFORNIA WHY IS YOUR AIR ALWAYS 98% WATER EVEN WHEN IT’S 90 DEGREES…

    But okay, in the fantasy land where I can travel ever at all, and end up back in Florida, I would want to talk about birds and maybe go to the flea market, my favorite thing there. No idea where Betty resides in relation to Delray Beach, but if you’re anywhere near The Boys, I’d say BITCH LET’S GO. I could–and did–spend nearly a whole day in that place more than once. It felt like a party to me, that’s for sure.

  24. 24.

    WaterGirl

    February 22, 2021 at 8:13 pm

    @Baud: Read the directions, dammit!  There is no covid, so she would have to try to get rid of us another way.

    Is Betty a “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” person?

  25. 25.

    lowtechcyclist

    February 22, 2021 at 8:15 pm

    Booze and Buffett!!

    @Baud: 

    I’m going with “The Weather Is Here, I Wish You Were Beautiful” which is the song I always play when we head off to Anna Maria Island, FL.

    And maybe a Cheeseburger in Paradise to keep the booze company. :^)

    Happy birthday, Betty!

  26. 26.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 22, 2021 at 8:17 pm

    @Miss Bianca: ​
     

    Drunk birding?

    Puking in the swamp? Seasickness on an airboat?

  27. 27.

    Cameron

    February 22, 2021 at 8:18 pm

    @WaterGirl: Maybe it’s just “how can we miss you if you won’t go away?”

  28. 28.

    Roger Moore

    February 22, 2021 at 8:19 pm

    I think a butter lamb would have to be involved one way or another.  Also, too, colorful anecdotes.

  29. 29.

    VFX Lurker

    February 22, 2021 at 8:19 pm

    Happy B-Day, Betty! ???

  30. 30.

    Van Buren

    February 22, 2021 at 8:20 pm

    Am I the only one who wants to watch otters?

  31. 31.

    MagdaInBlack

    February 22, 2021 at 8:20 pm

    Happy Birthday, Betty.
    I’d be content on the porch with a glass of ice tea, and my feet up on the rail.

  32. 32.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 22, 2021 at 8:21 pm

    @lowtechcyclist: ​
     

    The Weather Is Here, I Wish You Were Beautiful

    LOL

  33. 33.

    WaterGirl

    February 22, 2021 at 8:21 pm

    @Van Buren: No you are not!

  34. 34.

    WaterGirl

    February 22, 2021 at 8:22 pm

    @MagdaInBlack: Even iced tea is more fun at the tiki bar.

  35. 35.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    February 22, 2021 at 8:22 pm

    The happiest present for Betty that I could give is not showing up.  Since Floriduh is not a Prius drive away, bets are pretty good on that one.

  36. 36.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 22, 2021 at 8:22 pm

    @Van Buren: Am I the only one who wants to watch otters?

    Nope.

  37. 37.

    lowtechcyclist

    February 22, 2021 at 8:23 pm

    @Mike in NC: ​

    When in Florida, I always have to get a Cuban sandwich or a fried grouper sandwich. Only Florida has the best of those.

    You’re absolutely right about the Cubans. Anywhere else, they try to gussy them up, and whatever the result is, it’s not a Cuban.

    Also baked goodies involving guava. When we get off the plane in Tampa (my wife grew up in Plant City and still has family there), first thing we do is swing by La Segunda bakery in Ybor City for Cuban sandwiches and guava turnovers.

    I’ve somehow missed out on the fried grouper sandwiches, but since you know about Cuban sandwiches, I’m inclined to trust you on the grouper sandwiches. I think I’m gonna have to try one the next time we’re down, which I hope will be this summer.

  38. 38.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 8:24 pm

    I’d cook y’all my ribs, SWMBO would make mojito’s, and after the third one, would turn to me and say, “okay, I see why you like this place,”

    Happy Birthday Betty.

  39. 39.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    February 22, 2021 at 8:24 pm

    Why, with a big birthday cake of course! Happy Birthday BC!

  40. 40.

    trollhattan

    February 22, 2021 at 8:24 pm

    Wishing you the best birthday ballkicking of Ron DeSantis in the history of Florida Man. Recommend Doc Martins.

  41. 41.

    Beautifulplumage

    February 22, 2021 at 8:24 pm

    @Soprano2:  I turn 60 tomorrow and am having the same reaction.

    Happy Bday Betty & Soprano2!

  42. 42.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 22, 2021 at 8:25 pm

    @WaterGirl: ​
     Damn this iced tea packs a punch! What the LI mean?

  43. 43.

    dww44

    February 22, 2021 at 8:25 pm

    @guachi: I second that.  Happy Birthday, Betty.

  44. 44.

    zhena gogolia

    February 22, 2021 at 8:26 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    A relative of my ex-husband asked me if I liked Florida. I said I’d never been there. She exclaimed, “Oh! We have to get you to Florida!” He said, “Don’t you think there’s a reason she’s never been there? She doesn’t want to go to Florida.” I’m afraid that’s still true.

  45. 45.

    lowtechcyclist

    February 22, 2021 at 8:27 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: ​
     

    You laugh, but Buffett turned that corny old line into one of his best songs. My personal favorite, actually.

  46. 46.

    WaterGirl

    February 22, 2021 at 8:27 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: hahahaha

    Took me a second because of the way the L and the I line up together in this font.  I have tried those twice and they sure never tasted like tea to me. :-)

  47. 47.

    NotMax

    February 22, 2021 at 8:29 pm

    @lowtechcyclist

    Cheeseburger in Paradise

    With the traditional umbrella and pineapple smiley slice!

    ;)

  48. 48.

    scav

    February 22, 2021 at 8:30 pm

    I think I’d be somewhat off in the corner, plotting ways in which to subtly frighten and/or disturb the neighbors. Also angling for lessons in wine capsule art and actively contributing to the production of raw materials.

  49. 49.

    Mustang Bobby

    February 22, 2021 at 8:31 pm

    I would love to share the good cooking that I know others are capable of (and I most assuredly am not) and bring along my Peterson’s Field Guide to the Birds to add some of the central Florida birds to my life list.

  50. 50.

    DivF

    February 22, 2021 at 8:32 pm

    Happy birthday to the silver-tongued Ms. Cracker! A BC invective-laced screed always makes my day.

  51. 51.

    Beautifulplumage

    February 22, 2021 at 8:33 pm

    @Doc Sardonic: Oooooh, around Puget Sound we have the one “cubano” sandwich: pork + ham + pickles + mustard. Now I shall go do some research on these different types!

     

    What bread/roll is the best for the base?

  52. 52.

    westyny

    February 22, 2021 at 8:36 pm

    Happy Birthday, Betty!  My favorite artist!  Or one of them, anyways.

  53. 53.

    lowtechcyclist

    February 22, 2021 at 8:36 pm

    @NotMax:

    My wife and I ate there when we were out in Maui, celebrating my 50th birthday.

    I won’t mention how long ago that was!

  54. 54.

    Redshift

    February 22, 2021 at 8:36 pm

    Happy birthday! I vote for birds and booze and pups and getting the hell out before she gets sick of us.

  55. 55.

    Carolina Dave

    February 22, 2021 at 8:37 pm

    I would Bring (and pay) my excellent contractor to do some work at Betty’s house after previously stopping off at the Walgreens to buy a bottle of booze so we can Do some birding over drinks. I love reading her posts, the turns of a phrase I can only imagine being that creative.  I’ll start reading a Balloon Juice post without noticing the author, halfway thru I’ll laugh and say to myself, Betty Cracker wrote this. Happy birthday from a descendent of other Florida crackers who has the good sense to live elsewhere, but treasure  my visits to the Sunshine state

  56. 56.

    J R in WV

    February 22, 2021 at 8:37 pm

    @Mustang Bobby:

    I think Betty is west coast swamp area, around Tampa Bay perhaps.

    Rum drinks at the Tiki Bar, fer sure!

    The grouper sandwiches were great when we were in Key West almost 50 years ago now. Thin sliced, breaded and quick fried…

  57. 57.

    Danielx

    February 22, 2021 at 8:37 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    both kinds of sandwiches and margaritas!

    happy birthday BC!

  58. 58.

    TomatoQueen

    February 22, 2021 at 8:37 pm

    Ah, the trick is to be patient and wait for the cursor to turn up. Happy Birthday, Betty.  May the limpkins shaddup briefly. May Badger calm down for a minute. May the otters frolic.

  59. 59.

    Patricia Kayden

    February 22, 2021 at 8:38 pm

    Happy B’Day to our favorite Floridian!!

  60. 60.

    Sure Lurkalot

    February 22, 2021 at 8:39 pm

    Happy birthday to a wise and witty woman whom I’ve never met but who makes me laugh, sometimes at things that make me want to cry. Still have to admit, I tend to agree with Alison Rose #23 about Florida and I grew up in humidity. But I’d go there to meet Betty and see those beautiful birds. A cubano, grouper sandwich and some cold brews would be nice after this cold snap.

  61. 61.

    Hoodie

    February 22, 2021 at 8:40 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Florida is one of those places that has been loved to death.  It’s full of ridiculous feral people and other crimes against nature, but there are parts that are sublime, even with all the overdevelopment.   I always wonder what is was like when it wasn’t covered in nail salons and theme parks.   Kind of like my dad’s description of pre-war S. California.

  62. 62.

    AnotherBruce

    February 22, 2021 at 8:44 pm

    Drugs

  63. 63.

    Ruckus

    February 22, 2021 at 8:44 pm

    @Soprano2:

    60 isn’t that old.

    Not when it’s rapidly receding in the rear view mirror.

  64. 64.

    UncleEbeneezer

    February 22, 2021 at 8:49 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty!

  65. 65.

    schrodingers_cat

    February 22, 2021 at 8:51 pm

    Happy Birthday BC.

  66. 66.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 8:51 pm

    Happy birthday Betty!

    Never knew we shared 2/22 (along with Drew Barrymore, George Washington, and Teddy Kennedy) . I had a milestone today myself. Ugh.

    DMV and dash in and out of Big Lots (I had a momentof feeling frisky in my Pandemic life)

    I miss all of our old lives.

    Toasting us all with strong Sazeracs..  rye not bourbon, real absinthe,  1/2 sugar cube, lemon peel. Straight! ?

  67. 67.

    FlyingToaster

    February 22, 2021 at 8:51 pm

    Alas, I suspect that Betty feels about Massachusetts the way I feel about Florida*, so I think we should stay in our respective corners.

    Happy Birthday, Betty!

    *This Weather is WRONG, humans aren’t designed to live in this, and why am I sneezing all the damn time?  30 years since my parents retired down there, and I can’t stand it.

  68. 68.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 8:51 pm

    I’d catch her some nice pomps and grill em up!

  69. 69.

    Doc Sardonic

    February 22, 2021 at 8:52 pm

    @Beautifulplumage: The difference is that the Tampa has Genoa Salami added, both are on Cuban bread. The Medianoche or Midnight sandwich is the same just on a sweeter egg bread, think Cuban Challah.

  70. 70.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 8:52 pm

    Wow, Cubano sandwich wormhole leading to bread.

  71. 71.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 8:52 pm

    @frosty: Did you take the ferry?

  72. 72.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 22, 2021 at 8:53 pm

    a virtual hunt for exotic Florida bugs

    happy birthday, Betty

  73. 73.

    Wyatt Salamanca

    February 22, 2021 at 8:53 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBcFjNUzFJ0

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeOHAzjxLhk

  74. 74.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 22, 2021 at 8:54 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: Okay, I think somebody needs to make a butter gator

  75. 75.

    Mike in NC

    February 22, 2021 at 8:55 pm

    @Doc Sardonic: Mine was in Ybor City. Devine!

  76. 76.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 8:55 pm

    @lowtechcyclist: Mine is “gotta stop wishin, gotta go fishin down rock bottom again, just a few friends. . . “

  77. 77.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 8:56 pm

    @Doc Sardonic:

    Miami also has the Mixito, where they add lettuce and tomato.

  78. 78.

    Faithful Lurker

    February 22, 2021 at 8:57 pm

    Where is Betty, by the way? It’s strange to be talking about her and she not responding forcefully.

    Somebody start a wellness check.

  79. 79.

    citizen dave

    February 22, 2021 at 8:57 pm

    “I’ll start reading a Balloon Juice post without noticing the author, halfway thru I’ll laugh and say to myself, Betty Cracker wrote this”

    Same for me, it’s a delightful feeling.  Happy Birthday to my favorite Florida Woman.  I’ve been to Florida 2 or 3 times, but not in the 21st century.  Oh I take that back, just recalling flying through Jacksonville and Orlando on flights, so only the airports.  Orlando happened to be spring break, so not good Southwest choosing on my part.  I think I went NOLA-Orlando-Indianapolis.

    I would have actually visited Orlando in December for work meetings, but there are good things about the virus, I guess.

    I would celebrate with Betty by telling her about our runt cat named Betty (adopted with littermate Lulu) who lived 15.5 excellent years.

  80. 80.

    Ken

    February 22, 2021 at 9:03 pm

    Is this one of those parties where the host provides everything, or do we bring food and drink?

  81. 81.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 9:04 pm

    @lowtechcyclist: “The Weather Is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful.”….

    Pure poetry. ?

    Now, my serious side recommends Buffet doing “Stars Fell on Alabama.” Think it was off of “Coconut Telegraph” album also. ’80/81.

  82. 82.

    RobertDSC-Mac Mini

    February 22, 2021 at 9:05 pm

    Dress up as a giant cockroach and scream “Squash that bug! Squash that bug!”

    Happy B-day, Betty. Thank you for everything you do.

  83. 83.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:07 pm

    @Quinerly: “The cannons don’t thunder there’s nothin to plunder I’m an over 70 victim of fate. . . ” He used to play the Ruby Gulch in Champaign, just him and his axe, no coral reefers.

  84. 84.

    Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)

    February 22, 2021 at 9:07 pm

    I second the libations and sammiches, and raise you some Key Lime pie.

    Also, not worried about the gators, don’t have to be faster than them

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETTY!!

  85. 85.

    Kattails

    February 22, 2021 at 9:07 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty! What to do?  Whatever the b’day girl wants FFS, you follow along smilingly and note how gorgeous and witty she is. Fellow Piscean here.

  86. 86.

    The Moar You Know

    February 22, 2021 at 9:10 pm

    Ham, weed and tequila, as my religion demands.

  87. 87.

    MomSense

    February 22, 2021 at 9:12 pm

    Happy birthday, Betty!

  88. 88.

    geg6

    February 22, 2021 at 9:12 pm

    Sitting on the dock in the swamp with the pups, drinking wine and admiring the lovely wine foil animals that the birthday gal has so cleverly created.  Maybe some charcuterie with some crusty bread and a butter lamb

    Happy birthday, Betty!????

  89. 89.

    frosty

    February 22, 2021 at 9:15 pm

    @raven:  Nope, roads, towing a trailer. Didn’t even think to check the ferry.

  90. 90.

    UncleEbeneezer

    February 22, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    @Faithful Lurker: Her Twitter says binge-watching Twin Peaks.  Not a bad choice.  Never finished it, but always loved the score, the vibe and the first season.

  91. 91.

    frosty

    February 22, 2021 at 9:18 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:  Butter gators, yes!!

  92. 92.

    The Moar You Know

    February 22, 2021 at 9:18 pm

    THE FUCKING HUMIDITY I’M SORRY I’M FROM CALIFORNIA WHY IS YOUR AIR ALWAYS 98% WATER EVEN WHEN IT’S 90 DEGREES…

    @Alison Rose: I too am from the Golden State and attended a Microsoft conference in Orlando in September, which I thought might be habitable but fuck no, it was not.  95+ every day with 98% humidity.  The difference between outside (walking to and from said conference) and inside was at least 35 degrees and as a result, I was violently ill by the second day.  Apparently they’d been doing it at this time of the year for almost a decade, which explains why it is that Microsoft does not seem to learn from their mistakes.  The next year someone finally got a clue and held it in November.  I wasn’t there.

  93. 93.

    HeleninEire

    February 22, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY Betty.

    ?And many more ?

  94. 94.

    CaseyL

    February 22, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor:

    We could have a butter lamb making contest.

    Combine this with a Margarita-Making Drinking Contest, and we have the social event of the year!​
     

    Happy Birthday, Betty!

  95. 95.

    Another Scott

    February 22, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    We could have Tuna and Jello Pie!!

    What??

    Oh, Cracker!

    Happy Birthday Betty!!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  96. 96.

    cain

    February 22, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    This seems like monsoon season in India – so I’m kind of used to that kind of weather.

  97. 97.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    @frosty: I didn’t know there was one until we went fishing in 10,000 Islands. No car ferry though.

  98. 98.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 9:20 pm

    @raven: ??

    He played my old college (East Carolina University) in the late ’70’s. He and his band would end up at Patana Bob’s after the shows and continue on. I need to dig out those pics of Mr. Buffet at the bar.

  99. 99.

    bystander

    February 22, 2021 at 9:20 pm

    Happy Birthday, BC!

    That said, Covid or no, too many yucky things about Florida to make me spend $$$ there.  Sorry but too many blue places to vacation in.

  100. 100.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:20 pm

    never mind

  101. 101.

    cain

    February 22, 2021 at 9:20 pm

    oh yeah -happy birthday Betty – I hope you have as good a glass of wine as I am having! Have a wonderful evening! I assume it is Boxer is one that is going to get spoiled not you :D

    ETA – whoooooaaaa — the second time today that I got a binary number – last time it was 111, now it is 101! LUCKY – comment #5 y’all!

  102. 102.

    Amir Khalid

    February 22, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    Happy birthday, Betty C. Wish I could be there too.

  103. 103.

    geg6

    February 22, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    @lowtechcyclist:

    Anna Maria Island is one of the very small number of places I might consider going back to in FL.  My John’s daughter and granddaughter live in Bradenton, so that is where we’ve stayed in the past.  Feels like quirky old Florida to me, like it’s in a time warp from before Florida got so over commercialized and went completely insane.

  104. 104.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    I assume someone has mentioned that 2/22 is also National Margaritaville Day too.

  105. 105.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 22, 2021 at 9:24 pm

    @geg6: Maybe some charcuterie with some crusty bread and a butter lamb

    aw, that sounds so good
    I could devour an entire charcuterie board right about now

  106. 106.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:24 pm

    @geg6: The Saints of Old Florida.

     

    A collaboration between Melissa Farrell, Christina McDermott and Emily Raffield. We invite you to get lost in Old Florida, a place where a genuine essence of simplicity, adventure and community thrive. All of these saints are shared in Saints of Old Florida through personal stories, written contributions by area locals, meaningful recipes, vintage relics and authentic photography.

  107. 107.

    la caterina

    February 22, 2021 at 9:25 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty!

  108. 108.

    zhena gogolia

    February 22, 2021 at 9:27 pm

    @Hoodie:

    There’s a good John Sayles movie about it.

  109. 109.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 9:28 pm

    @Beautifulplumage:

    Cuban bread, a good baguette if you can’t get Cuban bread.

  110. 110.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    February 22, 2021 at 9:28 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    95+ every day with 98% humidity.  The difference between outside (walking to and from said conference) and inside was at least 35 degrees and as a result, I was violently ill by the second day

    That was my experience at Disney World when I was 6. Had lunch at an air conditioned park restaurant, went outside to watch a parade where it was like 100 F w/ 99% humidity, then got sick and threw up in the restaurant’s bathroom ?

  111. 111.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:29 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Beach Lady is in it!

    The history of American Beach is fascinating. It was the only African American beach on the east coast at one time.

  112. 112.

    Cowgirl in the Sandi

    February 22, 2021 at 9:31 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty!

    From Tin Cup Chalice:
    Give me oysters and beer for dinner every day of the year
    And I’ll feel fine, I’ll feel fine…

  113. 113.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 9:31 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    A key trick in hot climes, is to avoid the AC.

    You acclimatize, and avoid all the “bugs” spewed out of the AC.

  114. 114.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 9:32 pm

    @raven: I’m inspired… Listening to “White Sport Coat and Pink Crustacean” right now.

    Will move on to “Last Mango in Paris.”

    ?

  115. 115.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 22, 2021 at 9:34 pm

    Sorry to be so late (was zooming a thing from the Chamber Music Society of Lincoln Center until a few minutes ago), but HIPPO BIRDIES TWO EWE, Betty C!

  116. 116.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:34 pm

    The fact you don’t hear MaVynee Oshun Betsch mentioned alongside conservationists like John Muir, Aldo Leopold, and perhaps Rachel Carson says more about who we enshrine in history books than Betsch’s remarkable contributions to the environmental movement and her valiant campaign to save a landmark of Black history.

  117. 117.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:35 pm

    @Quinerly: I have a good many in my rotation for my aqua belt water running tunes!

  118. 118.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    February 22, 2021 at 9:36 pm

    @Hoodie:

    Based on my scholarly viewings of Boardwalk Empire, Florida in the 1920s at least was extremely underdeveloped. Much more swamp and Everglades I’d imagine

    Kind of like my dad’s description of pre-war S. California.

    Which reminds me of the opening narration of L.A. Noir:

    The City on the verge of greatness. A new type of city based not on the man, but on the automobile. The car, the symbol of freedom and vitality.

    Where every man can own his own home and have room to breath and not be overlooked by his neighbors. The city where a man’s home is his castle. A quarter acre of the dream made possible by victory. The city of opportunists. The city of dreams where Hollywood will shape the thoughts and desires of the entire planet.

    The city of pioneers. The city of dreamers. A city of undercurrents where not everything is as it seems. A 20th century city that will become a model for the world. The city that has no boundaries that will stretch as far as the eye can see.

    Always gives me goosebumps. I love the word choices and tone. It reads like a classic noir film/novel but with the prescience of the present

  119. 119.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 9:38 pm

    @raven:

    how’s grilled pompano?

  120. 120.

    drunkenhausfrau

    February 22, 2021 at 9:41 pm

    I’d risk seeing a snake to celebrate with birds, Tiki bar, and cooking! Happy birthday!

    ???

  121. 121.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:41 pm

    @Jay: Awesome, you just gut it, score it, rub some lemon and olive oil and jam on! There are only a few really big bones in them so they are a breeze to eat.

  122. 122.

    susanna

    February 22, 2021 at 9:43 pm

    Happy Birthday, you witty, llvely and lovely woman.   I hope you’re off having a memorable celebration.  Thanks for all you bring to this site.

  123. 123.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:43 pm

    @Jay: And they are so pretty right out of the water! 

  124. 124.

    Lapassionara

    February 22, 2021 at 9:45 pm

    @Quinerly: LOL. Hope you are doing ok. Good to see you here. Maybe soon in STL.

  125. 125.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    February 22, 2021 at 9:45 pm

    @raven:

    Wow, did you make that dish? That looks tasty. Awesome presentation if you did

  126. 126.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 9:46 pm

    @raven:

    thanks for the links and history.

  127. 127.

    Yutsano

    February 22, 2021 at 9:47 pm

    Does this count as a present? Gym Jordan not gonna like this one.

    George Clooney and Smokehouse Pictures are set to produce a new docuseries based on an October 2020 Sports Illustrated story by @Jon_Wertheim, about a decades-long abuse scandal in the athletic department at Ohio State Universityhttps://t.co/5R9OiR7b4N— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) February 23, 2021

  128. 128.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:48 pm

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Oh yea, we got the butter beans, okra and maters in Cordele on the way down and it was a matter of catching the fish. Pomps are fun, they are small but they hit hard and will take your rod right out of the spike.

  129. 129.

    Yutsano

    February 22, 2021 at 9:48 pm

    @raven: ​ Who’s that ol’ codger behind the fish? :P

  130. 130.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:49 pm

    @Jay: I was fortunate enough to meet her with a friend who did a documentary about her. Her sister in Jonetta Cole, famous educator.

  131. 131.

    raven

    February 22, 2021 at 9:49 pm

    @Yutsano: Shit that was probably 5 years ago!

  132. 132.

    BruceFromOhio

    February 22, 2021 at 9:50 pm

    If We Were All in Florida, and There was No Covid, How Would We Celebrate Betty’s Birthday?

    Pitch a tent, bury a pig, tap the keg. Later, crocodile races. Maybe set something on fire.

  133. 133.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 9:50 pm

    @raven: I used to know all his lyrics by heart up to about 2000 releases. I’m a lyrics chick… Check out “Fruit Cakes” album… Think his cover of an old Patsy Cline song.. with a twist… is on it… “She’s Got You.”

  134. 134.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 9:52 pm

    @Lapassionara: some day….

  135. 135.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 22, 2021 at 9:54 pm

    @Quinerly:

    Haven’t read the thread, so perhaps missed it, but Happy Birthday to You, too! How cool is that, that Quinerly and Betty Cracker share a birthday?!

  136. 136.

    John Cole

    February 22, 2021 at 9:54 pm

    I’d be hanging out with her dogs trying to figure out an excuse to leave early, tbh.

  137. 137.

    Nicole

    February 22, 2021 at 9:57 pm

    Happiest of birthdays, Betty, and wishing you a glorious year ahead.

    I would have brought over our karaoke machine, so we could sing all the 1980s songs. All of them.

  138. 138.

    NotMax

    February 22, 2021 at 9:58 pm

    @raven

    Pompano en papillote. Mmmmm. Luscious aroma wafts up when the bag is slit open.

  139. 139.

    Kayla Rudbek

    February 22, 2021 at 9:58 pm

    Tour of Kennedy Space Center and/or Key West, with drunken cookie-making and drunken crafting session (and as long as we keep the butter out of the yarn everything will be fine). Happy birthday, Betty Cracker!

  140. 140.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 9:59 pm

    @raven:

    I have seen them on the reefs, and in the freezers at T&T, but never eaten them.

    And thank you so much for introducing us to American Beach, and MaVynee Oshun Betsch, may she rest in power.

  141. 141.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 10:00 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: thanks!!!

    Very cool indeed.

  142. 142.

    Betsy

    February 22, 2021 at 10:01 pm

    Happy birthday from one native to another!

  143. 143.

    p.a.

    February 22, 2021 at 10:02 pm

    Happy ? Betty!

  144. 144.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 22, 2021 at 10:03 pm

    @debbie: ​
     Baud is not a damned piece of meat to be passed around at whim. Or is he?

  145. 145.

    JanieM

    February 22, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    Yay, Betty! Hope it’s been a great day!

    You, Quinerly, George Washington, and Doctor J……quite a 2/22 crew.

  146. 146.

    Rob

    February 22, 2021 at 10:06 pm

    Happy birthday, Betty!

  147. 147.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 10:08 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    just until the majickal #100,

    then he needs a nap.

    It’s part of his whole campaign.

  148. 148.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 22, 2021 at 10:08 pm

    HBD, BC. I have to say that I am more likely to Zoom than go to Florida, so you are reasonably safe. You are welcome.

  149. 149.

    Quinerly

    February 22, 2021 at 10:12 pm

    @JanieM: ??

    2/22…pretty cool….

  150. 150.

    zhena gogolia

    February 22, 2021 at 10:14 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek:

    I was thinking about you today. I hope you’re doing well.

  151. 151.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 22, 2021 at 10:15 pm

    @NotMax:

    Amongst my all-time favourite dishes. It’s been a good 45 years since I’ve had pompano papillote, but I can smell and taste it in memory!

  152. 152.

    Nicole

    February 22, 2021 at 10:15 pm

    @Quinerly: Happy birthday to you, too, by the way!  Also wishing you an excellent year ahead.

  153. 153.

    Spanish Moss

    February 22, 2021 at 10:16 pm

    Happy birthday Betty! My family is from Florida, both sides, and though I grew up in AL and live in MA now I still love to visit. You had me at “anyhoo”.

  154. 154.

    The Thin Black Duke

    February 22, 2021 at 10:16 pm

    Happy Birthday, Betty. Thanks for Everything.

  155. 155.

    RandomMonster

    February 22, 2021 at 10:16 pm

    I’d bring calico beans that would win the hearts of everyone with a functioning palate. Then I’d have two beers but leave so I would have no worries about being over the limit.

  156. 156.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 22, 2021 at 10:19 pm

    @raven:

    Johnnetta Cole had the most extraordinary speaking voice. Decades ago when she was at Spelman, I called her office about something or other. She phoned me back, left a message, and I was so knocked out by her voice that I never erased it. I met her a few years later and told her about that. She was very gracious.

  157. 157.

    TaMara (HFG)

    February 22, 2021 at 10:21 pm

    Going out on the river/swamp…

    Happy B-day,  Betty!

  158. 158.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 22, 2021 at 10:21 pm

    @Quinerly: Your b-day too?  Have a happy one.

  159. 159.

    Martin

    February 22, 2021 at 10:22 pm

    I’d build her a tiki bar so she could host us properly. Maybe even a little cabinet to hold the wine foil origami zoo.

    I lived on the east coast long enough to not be phased by the humidity. I’d not enjoy it, but I’d be ready for it.

  160. 160.

    Tazj

    February 22, 2021 at 10:24 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty! I hope you have enjoyed the day.

  161. 161.

    Keith P.

    February 22, 2021 at 10:25 pm

    If We Were All in Florida, and There was No Covid, How Would We Celebrate Betty’s Birthday?

    I’d probably spring for a mariachi band to celebrate the life and times of Rush Limbaugh at his grave site.

  162. 162.

    Yutsano

    February 22, 2021 at 10:26 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: ​
     

    It’s not like you to kinkshame. :P

  163. 163.

    sfinny

    February 22, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    Happy Birthday Betty!
    I would want to go kayaking and see the wonderful wildlife you show us.

  164. 164.

    Omnes Omnibus

    February 22, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    @Yutsano: I am just trying to help Baud out.  They were talking as though they weren’t going to pay.

  165. 165.

    JanieM

    February 22, 2021 at 10:32 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I had never heard of Johnetta Cole, but because you mentioned her voice I wondered if she could be found on YouTube.

    Indeed, there’s lots over there! E.g. this one, which I’m bookmarking to listen to tomorrow.

    Thanks for the pointer.

  166. 166.

    NotMax

    February 22, 2021 at 10:34 pm

    @Quinerly

    Q 2-22 too? Celebrate!

  167. 167.

    Denali

    February 22, 2021 at 10:34 pm

    Happy Birthday, Betty!

    But her lambs for all!

  168. 168.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 10:37 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    pay as in “own up” to the flirt,

    or pay as in Baud 2024 has a whole new Campaign Fundraising method?

  169. 169.

    Benw

    February 22, 2021 at 10:37 pm

    Happy birthday Betty.

    We should pick you up some Krispy Kremes and some Publix key lime pies and meet you in the carport.

  170. 170.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 22, 2021 at 10:37 pm

    @JanieM:

    And thanks for that link!

  171. 171.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    February 22, 2021 at 10:40 pm

    @Keith P.: has he been buried? I’m not much for dancing, but I’ll make an exception in his case

  172. 172.

    NotMax

    February 22, 2021 at 10:44 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Preferably with a back-up stake also firmly embedded. Can’t be too careful.

    ;)

  173. 173.

    debbie

    February 22, 2021 at 10:45 pm

    Heh. George Clooney is producing a documentary about the OSU wrestling abuse scandal costarring Gym Jordan. Perfect!

  174. 174.

    Major Major Major Major

    February 22, 2021 at 10:50 pm

    Trick question. Why would I be in Florida?

    Happy bday Betty!

  175. 175.

    tybee

    February 22, 2021 at 10:52 pm

    from a native floridiot (leon county), happy birthday.

  176. 176.

    Mary G

    February 22, 2021 at 10:54 pm

    I would like a butter lamb workshop, followed by a birding boat tour.

  177. 177.

    jl

    February 22, 2021 at 10:55 pm

    Aren’t those two living in a tiny paradise out the middle of some impenetrable hell swamp, completely surrounded by savage beasts? The tiny paradise is guarded by the Cracker super dogs, of course.

    Can’t be no covid there. The fire breathing alligators burn it up. They can do as they please.

    So, happy birthday.

  178. 178.

    Yutsano

    February 22, 2021 at 10:56 pm

    Going with the in all honesty thing…

    I’m with M⁴. You couldn’t catch me in Florida no matter the reason or the season. Heck I’m not even my loud brash Jewish Cubana sista from another motha could do that. Well maybe but she lives in Miami.

  179. 179.

    Kayla Rudbek

    February 22, 2021 at 10:58 pm

    @zhena gogolia: tomorrow afternoon is biopsy day, and I have been on edge since about noon today. I should have gone for a walk and done my yoga. Oh well.  Tomorrow morning or yoga tonight if I can’t fall asleep.

  180. 180.

    Brachiator

    February 22, 2021 at 11:01 pm

    There’s a party going on?

    Happy birthday, Betty!

  181. 181.

    Yutsano

    February 22, 2021 at 11:01 pm

    Guess who’s coming baaaack???

    Seriously. Are both the washed up former Republican Senators just glutton for punishment?

  182. 182.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 22, 2021 at 11:03 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek:

    Have been, and will be, thinking of you. May it all go well for you tomorrow. You have a huge cheering section here (which, of course, you well know!)

  183. 183.

    Morzer

    February 22, 2021 at 11:05 pm

    Happy Birthday, Betty Crackerdile!

  184. 184.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 11:06 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek:

    good thoughts and best wishes for the best result, going out.

  185. 185.

    tinare

    February 22, 2021 at 11:07 pm

    Happy Birthday! I vote for a butter lamb carving party.

  186. 186.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 11:12 pm

    @Yutsano:

    Loffler’s PAC launch is pretty pathetic.

    Tech Bro’s found a new mark.

  187. 187.

    Steeplejack

    February 22, 2021 at 11:12 pm

    Let us note that Mr. Cracker’s birthday was last Friday (if my Balloon Juice notes are correct).

  188. 188.

    mrmoshpotato

    February 22, 2021 at 11:13 pm

    @Yutsano: ​

    You couldn’t catch me in Florida no matter the reason or the season.

    Would you do it for a Scooby snack the treason?

  189. 189.

    SWMBO

    February 22, 2021 at 11:14 pm

    @Quinerly: Happy Birthday!
    @Betty Cracker:   Happy Birthday!​

  190. 190.

    SWMBO

    February 22, 2021 at 11:17 pm

    @Kayla Rudbek: ​
      Good luck and know our thoughts are with you…

  191. 191.

    Jay

    February 22, 2021 at 11:17 pm

    Ah, whoops. The "America Uncanceled" @CPAC conference just engaged in cancel culture and deplatformed someone for their "reprehensible views." I'm sure sincere defenders of free speech will write many sternly worded op-eds and tweets about this decision. https://t.co/fNIYp9kajT https://t.co/S3iTf4y6gv pic.twitter.com/v7OaQiqTjK— Nick Martin (@nickmartin) February 22, 2021

  192. 192.

    Dan B

    February 22, 2021 at 11:24 pm

    @Doc Sardonic: There was a place near us, in the neighborhood where artists fled from bazillionalire galleries and rent, that had Cubano like you describe.  It tasted sublime as the jets shook the rafters a couple hundred feet from the runway. Sadly departed but not from falling Boeing bits.

     

    And…Happy Birthday Betty whose descriptions of miscreants and their antics are in a league of their own!

  193. 193.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 22, 2021 at 11:27 pm

    @Yutsano:

    Yeah, Perdue declared a few days ago, but for Warnock’s seat in 2022. Either Loeffler runs against Perdue in the primary, or waits until 2026, or runs for a different office. Or none of the above.

  194. 194.

    CaseyL

    February 22, 2021 at 11:30 pm

    @NotMax: ​
      My god, that sounds delish.

    When we first moved to Miami Beach, back in ’69, we used to go fishing off Haulover Pier every so often. Caught pompano, red snapper, bluefish. Dad cleaned them at the beach, Mom cooked them at home, and they were the Best Things Ever.

  195. 195.

    Sebastian

    February 22, 2021 at 11:36 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETTY!!

    I am just a day after you. How about we get plastered for 48 hours

  196. 196.

    Just One More Canuck

    February 22, 2021 at 11:37 pm

    Happy birthday Betty

  197. 197.

    Ruckus

    February 22, 2021 at 11:40 pm

    Was away for a bit and didn’t wish Betty a happy B day. But I ended up being able to add Quinerly to the B day happy wishes so all was not lost.

    @Kayla Rudbek:

    Best of luck tomorrow.

  198. 198.

    rikyrah

    February 22, 2021 at 11:45 pm

    Happy Birthday, BC?????????

  199. 199.

    Betsy

    February 23, 2021 at 12:11 am

    @Carolina Dave:

    So funny because that is EXACTLY how I feel when I read Betty’s posts.

    And like you I’m a Florida cracker descendant in Nockalina.

    I love her way with words, and appreciatively steal her material when it’s apropos enough to something in my own life.

    Just for example, I can’t  recall how many times I’ve called someone “crazier than a sprayed roach” in the last few years.

  200. 200.

    Carolina Dave

    February 23, 2021 at 12:15 am

    We are still waiting for our queen Betty to acknowledge her birthday wishes.

  201. 201.

    Carolina Dave

    February 23, 2021 at 12:17 am

    @Betsy: So glad to be a part of this community

  202. 202.

    BruceFromOhio

    February 23, 2021 at 1:03 am

    So she’s not even been on this thread. I hope she enjoys it after the hangover subsides.

  203. 203.

    JAFD

    February 23, 2021 at 4:01 am

    Belated felicitations on your natal anniversaries, Betty and Quinerley !

    Good luck, Kayla !

    And meself – using Waterfox Classic 2021.01.1 64 bit with Win 10 – couldn’t bring cursor into comment box on first try.  Cured by reloading page.  Minor problem, but thot I’d mention

  204. 204.

    bjacques

    February 23, 2021 at 4:58 am

    It’s already the next day in this foreign speaking land, but

     

    HB BC!

  205. 205.

    PaulWartenberg

    February 23, 2021 at 6:42 am

    I would just politely wave hello from the front door of Bartow Public Library and then go back to work screaming at patrons who refuse to cover their noses with the damn masks.

  206. 206.

    Betty Cracker

    February 23, 2021 at 8:21 am

    Awww, thanks y’all! The mister and I had a fine time, just the two of us sharing a bottle of decent claret, leftover roast chicken, a spectacular sunset and then binge-watching Twin Peaks (the birthday monarch gets to control all media in this house). The big party will have to wait until next year! Sincerely appreciate the birthday greetings. :)

  207. 207.

    cope

    February 23, 2021 at 8:29 am

    @Betty Cracker:  Once this post started rolling downhill and picking up speed, I decided to wait until it came to a halt at the bottom to say happy natal day, Ms. Cracker so “happy natal day, Ms. Cracker”. Thank you for your service.

  208. 208.

    Betsy

    February 23, 2021 at 7:28 pm

    @Carolina Dave:  Golly, yes.

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