Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

We will not go back.

“But what about the lurkers?”

The willow is too close to the house.

In my day, never was longer.

So very ready.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

This fight is for everything.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

So many bastards, so little time.

T R E 4 5 O N

So fucking stupid, and still doing a tremendous amount of damage.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / CPAC Malign Clown Car Open Thread: Burning Man Resentment

CPAC Malign Clown Car Open Thread: Burning Man Resentment

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CPAC Clown Car Open Thread: Burning <del>Man</del> Resentment

(Jeff Danziger via GoComics.com)

CPAC’s always been a grift bazaar — excuse me, celebration of capitalism. But until a couple years ago, it was also a gathering where the old pros could parade their laurels and the young hopefuls could strut their stuff, like a right-wing political ComicCon. Post-Trump, it’s reduced to one of those flea-market-adjacent ‘popular culture shows’ where you can buy signed photos with Scott Baio’s understudy, two of the recurring characters from the Dukes of Hazzard, or Clint Eastwood’s orangutan wrangler…

Best twist on that viral (as in, diseased) opening clip:

The NYTimes hired Elaina Plott as their Trumpist whisperer, now that Maggie Haberman is busy steno’ing from Marred-A-Largo working on her book. Plott does not stint the shovelling!

Reader Interactions

69Comments

  3. 3.

    Spanky

    Trump loyalists spurn ‘failed Republican establishment of yesteryear’

    and opt for “failed Republican establishment of today.

    ETA: Turd!

  5. 5.

    patrick II

    Have all members of Congress been immunized? Do they get to walk among those people not wearing a mask as if it isn’t important knowing that they themselves are safe, but risking the spread of disease among others?

  7. 7.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    You guys already do Hegseth? I used to keep a pretty good scorecard in my head, but I grow old. Hegseth is  a professional “As a veteran of the armed forces…” on Fox, right? I think he’s wearing boat shoes for this performance.

    Right Wing Watch @RightWingWatch · 3h
    Pete Hegseth says that when he sits down with real Americans at diners across this nation, “they’re not talking about esoteric things that the Ivy League talks about.” They’re talking about things like the Bible, standing for the national anthem … and the 10th Amendment.

    Jonathan Martin @jmartNYT
    Pete Hegseth on @CPAC stage lamenting decline of biblical values Also Hegseth: “During his marriage…Hegseth had a daughter with Fox executive producer Jennifer Rauchet, with whom he was having an extramarital relationship, in August 2017

    ETA: from his wiki page, which also tells me he married Jennifer Rauchet as soon as he divorced the mother of his other children

    Hegseth is a former Army National Guard officer and former executive director of political advocacy groups Vets For Freedom and Concerned Veterans for America. The latter, a conservative advocacy group funded by the Koch brothers, advocates for greater privatization of the Department of Veterans Affairs. He was considered to lead the United States Department of Veterans Affairs in the Trump administration, but major veterans’ groups objected to the potential pick. In January 2017, David Shulkin was selected instea

  9. 9.

    NotMax

    Hey, don’t knock the pop culture meet-and-greets. They provide a better (and in many cases, for those on limited income, salutary) boost to finances than the occasional residual check for 31 cents.

  11. 11.

    bjacques

    Roger Stone has the same sloping forehead as Spiro Agnew and in that getup he looks like the portrait the eternally young Alex P Keaton keeps in the attic.

    EDIT: 11th! That’s 2nd in Roman numerals!

  15. 15.

    Urban Suburbanite

    Oh wow, it’s Kurt Jantz, aka Forgiato Blow, aka DJ Failson. I spent waaaaayyyy too much time getting baked and trolling that tubby dork on Facebook until he got banned. I wonder where his meteoric rise to irrelevancy had led him.

  16. 16.

    dmsilev

    Speaking of Madison Cawthorn, the Post has a long piece on him nicely summarized by the headline:

    The making of Madison Cawthorn: How falsehoods helped propel the career of a new pro-Trump star of the far right

    I was particularly impressed by the part where he accused a long-time friend of leaving him to die in an auto crash, and then when called out on that lie changed his story to ‘had no recollection’ of the details of the accident. Now that’s a level of shameless sociopathy that will take you far in the GOP.

  17. 17.

    Subsole

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: You kidding? They journos’d never make it inside. Too busy interviewing the brocialists protesting outside for more “Democrats collapsing and finally going away so we can spend all our time gazing dreamily into a Republican’s eyes” wishcasting pieces.

  18. 18.

    Gravenstone

    @debbie: Allegedly the Constitution. In reality, probably some fast food menu for the place they stole the unpainted statue from.

  20. 20.

    dmsilev

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Pete Hegseth on @CPAC stage lamenting decline of biblical values Also Hegseth: “During his marriage…Hegseth had a daughter with Fox executive producer Jennifer Rauchet, with whom he was having an extramarital relationship, in August 2017

    To be fair, that sort of thing is in fact quite Biblical. So, he’s just doing what he can to bring back the morality of lets say King David to name just one.

  26. 26.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @NotMax:

    Hey, don’t knock the pop culture meet-and-greets. They provide a better (and in many cases, for those on limited income, salutary) boost to finances than the occasional residual check for 31 cents.

    I remember reading about some convention the cast of BTTF was going to be at, and I was shocked at the prices these people wanted for autographs and pictures. It was some obscene amount of money.

    I’m fan of the movies, but I’m not a fan for hundreds of dollars for an autograph

  29. 29.

    Ivan X

    Getting Bob Roberts vibes from Cauthorne.

    Both the Stone video and the picture of the three women worshiping the golden idol is enough to make me want to take it real, real easy for the rest of the night.

  30. 30.

    Calouste

    @debbie: A gold-plated atrocity made in Mexico, where the sculptor (and I use that word in the broadest possible sense) lives, with the help of, I presume, a few Mexicans.

  31. 31.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    Off topic but thematically related:

    maggie haberman quote tweeting josh dawsey linking to a maureen dowd column is a matryoshka doll of metaphorical autoerotic asphyxiation

    — Peloton InfoSec Analyst (Incident Response) (@CalmSporting) February 27, 2021

  33. 33.

    Cameron

    Y’all have really gotten me psyched.  I haven’t watched any of this shit – I’m an old guy with a limited number of brain cells to sacrifice – but will mos def be tuning in at 3:40 tomorrow.

  38. 38.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    It IS a little weird the conservative happenings always get national coverage and progressive gatherings get zip. I don’t think “the freakshow” is a complete explanation.

  45. 45.

    NeenerNeener

    I’m still giggling at the answer to the question of how coked up Dancing Guilfoyle is:  “the National Weather Service issued a blizzard warning for both nostrils and a small hand mirror.”

  48. 48.

    stinger

    @debbie: It appears to say “Bill of Rights” at the top (in case nobody else has answered this; now I’ll continue reading comments).

    ETA: Gravenstone @18 has the better answer.

  49. 49.

    Ken

    @dmsilev: Isn’t he also hoping to be paid for the thing? I see a basic contradiction.

    Persuade some Trump-addled rich fool — of which CPAC has an over-supply — to buy it and donate it to the Trump library

    For bonus points (and $$$), sell it to two or more marks.

  55. 55.

    The Pale Scot

    So much to gawk at, so little time.

    Stirred up a memory of a Tales From Crypt story with Don Rickles and Bob Goldthwait. Don’s a ventriloquist with a parasitic twin on the end of his arm.

    It’s on uBube, The Ventriloquist’s Dummy

    “I’m splitting up the act!”

    I hadn’t thought about this in decades, WTF?

  57. 57.

    catclub

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): ​
     

    I’m fan of the movies, but I’m not a fan for hundreds of dollars for an autograph

    I have no problem with that. I also have no problem with babe Ruth earning more than the president, and not just because he had a better year.

    I only wonder why melania has taken so long to file divorce papers.

  58. 58.

    Another Scott

    In other news, BlueVirginia:

    From Virginia NORML:

    Richmond, Va: Members of the Virginia Senate and the House of Delegates approved legislation today, Senate Bill 1406 and House Bill 2312, to legalize cannabis possession, personal cultivation, and retail sales for adults 21 and older. The bills now head to the governor for his approval, amendment, or veto.

    […]

    I’m reminded that one of the reasons that Nixon had a blowout win in 1972 (but only one) was that 18 year olds were able to vote. Imagine the electoral impact if Democrats make federal legalization happen by the 2022 (or 2024) elections…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  59. 59.

    Just Chuck

    There’s some great stuff going on in the text in that Danziger cartoon.

    “Speakers: Loonies, Nazis, Laura Ingrahm, TBA.”  To say nothing of the sign: “CPAC: Welcome Complainers”

  60. 60.

    hitchhiker

    Really, there’s no need to slather all this outrage over CPAC. Have a couple of good journos listen in, collect video, and write stories.

    We know what it is, and what will happen. What matters now and every day until the 2022 midterms is that Democrats do their jobs and make sure they get ALL the credit for every good thing that happens.

  61. 61.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    Walking into #CPAC and I see this

    Well that video really underscores the actual talent a lot of black rapers have.

  62. 62.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    So when the press is gone does CPAC drop the shorts on the Trump statue and start with the kissing booth?

  67. 67.

    J R in WV

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: ​
    Bill,
    The little photoset of Conni with your Cocker was so sweet. Obvious why you miss the little guy so much.

    Again, condolences for your loss!
    and Take Care!

     

     

    ETA: 67th — woot !!!!

     

    Beat that, counters~!~

  68. 68.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Subsole: ​
     

    You kidding? They journos’d never make it inside. Too busy interviewing the brocialists protesting outside for more “Democrats collapsing and finally going away so we can spend all our time gazing dreamily into a Republican’s eyes” wishcasting pieces.

    Oh lordy. Last time I checked, Nancy Smash was talking about how we can’t do without the Republican Party, and Joe Biden was going on about his ability to get along with them.

    I see a lot more lefties than moderates saying the GOP is beyond redemption and needs to be overwhelmingly defeated.

  69. 69.

    trnc

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: ​
     

    Why the press covers CPAC and not liberal confabs? Everyone loves a freak show and slows for a really bad car wreck.

    Got a link to an MSM outlet describing it as such? What I’ve seen is pretty much the same coverage it gets every year. They point out the anti-masking but it’s almost a footnote.

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