• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

“woke” is the new caravan.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Everybody saw this coming.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

People are complicated. Love is not.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Second rate reporter says what?

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / Late Night Open Thread: CPAC L’Envoi

Late Night Open Thread: CPAC L’Envoi

by Anne Laurie|  March 2, 20212:14 am| 39 Comments

This post is in: GOP Death Cult, Open Threads, Trumpery

FacebookTweetEmail

James Buchanan wants you to know that he believes Abraham Lincoln has just had the most disastrous first month of any American President.

— Michael Beschloss (@BeschlossDC) February 28, 2021


Can we get @neeratanden to tweet the speech so senators become aware of it? https://t.co/3ywUfhDQD2

— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) March 1, 2021

MSNBC and CNN aren't playing the former president's speech.

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) February 28, 2021

Trump's decades as a real-estate salesman in New York trained him to try out sales pitches and refine them over time.

So here's how his patter about the attempted insurrection is shaping up. https://t.co/XFu3VGmJlY

— Philip Bump (@pbump) March 1, 2021

That's Ted Cruz holding the mirror. That's what he does now. https://t.co/OY2aOsy5uO

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 28, 2021

Charles P. Pierce, at Esquire:

He was very old and in the way, until he got to the hit list. The hit list energized him. It turned on all his lights. It was the pure, uncut evil juju that had been missing from his life for months and, generous demon from the depths of hell that he is, he shared it with all the minions gathered at CPAC in Florida, and it made all their lights shine…

… He wouldn’t know most of the people he mentioned if they sat in what used to be his lap. But he knows they voted to impeach him for his role in the insurrection, so they get to hire bodyguards and food-tasters. He doesn’t care if one or several of these members of Congress get visited at home by elements of his Fifth Armored Deer Camp Drunk Division.

Get rid of them all.

He’s not talking entirely about elections and, in any case, he doesn’t speak in metaphors.

and, one might note, lost handily https://t.co/ZC1yCxfTEH

— Gerry Doyle (@mgerrydoyle) March 1, 2021

Yeah, the slushing is noticeable. https://t.co/c1c4xxWphF

— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) February 28, 2021

Note sender:

Trump lost the election FYI. Side note this speech is boring. We can’t win the presidency with this boring, low energy, stream of conscience, weak, has been, choke artist. Just my .02

— Adam Kinzinger (@AdamKinzinger) February 28, 2021

Trump is the leftover fish dinner someone keeps reheating in the GOP office microwave.

— Richard5832 (@richard5832) March 1, 2021

Took just 13 minutes into his speech to repeat his "big lie" that he had really won.

Then suggested he would run again in 2024. "I may decide to beat them for a third time.”

— S.V. Dáte (@svdate) February 28, 2021

As I told you, the Republicans have become the late 70s Soviet communist party, and this long and boring ramble about the regime’s many fake achievements is on brand

— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) February 28, 2021

translation: Comrades, it is our duty to stop these saboteurs and wreckers! As the great Lenin warned us, the next elections will be stolen.

— anita wahine (@Anita_Wahine) February 28, 2021

Media: @Acosta to @PamelaBrownCNN: "This @CPAC with #DonaldTrump closing it out is a liar-palooza. #Trump has opened up a firehose of falsehoods on the crowd, and this crowd is bathing in his dishonesty. The biggest lie he's telling is the Big Lie that he won the election." pic.twitter.com/86e2QY6TT4

— Porter Anderson (@Porter_Anderson) February 28, 2021

At the NYTimes: Starbursts!

For the first hour of Trump’s speech, nervous Republicans were relieved (and a little bored)

Then came the false claims of the election being stolen and roll call of his hit list

The Civil War is uncanceled

w @maggieNYT from the big O >https://t.co/kIRXO4rAUC

— Jonathan Martin (@jmartNYT) March 1, 2021

Late Night Open Thread:  CPAC L'Envoi

(Nick Anderson via GoComics.com)

Trump: "I am not starting a new party."

McConnell: "Well, fuck."

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) February 28, 2021

CPAC and Trump: ensuring the Democrats will control the government for a generation.

— Anthony Scaramucci (@Scaramucci) February 28, 2021

Trump now saying that "they used COVID as a way of cheating."

He is without doubt setting up the next election for violence.

— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) February 28, 2021

the fencing in DC upsets you?
this speech is why it's still up.

— ᑕᕼᑌᑎK (@chunkled) February 28, 2021

"We have to have victory."

Republicans lost the House, the White House, AND the Senate in Trump's first term. Has not happened since Herbert Hoover.

— S.V. Dáte (@svdate) February 28, 2021

pic.twitter.com/IdXrttJTfQ

— Schooley (@Rschooley) February 27, 2021

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Open Thread: MTG Has Some Challengers
Next Post: On The Road – Scott – Mendocino Fourth of July Parade On The Road - Scott - Mendocino Fourth of July Parade 2»

Reader Interactions

39Comments

  1. 1.

    lahke

    March 2, 2021 at 2:31 am

    Hi, AL, mighty quiet here tonight.

    Good news: scored a vaccine appointment in 10 days. Yeah!

    ETA: “yeah” because it’s  Massachusetts and getting a slot is frigging impossible.

  2. 2.

    Amir Khalid

    March 2, 2021 at 2:38 am

    I believe we are witnessing the beginning of the end of the Republican party. As long as it clings to Donald Trump, I can’t see any other outcome. What will it do, whom can it turn to, when he goes to prison?

    ETA: The coveted second spot! I can’t believe my good fortune!

  3. 3.

    Damien

    March 2, 2021 at 2:50 am

    Third?  Moi?!

    Now that’s locked in, I have to admit that I’m concerned anew with outright violence. I saw a bumper sticker on a light pole with an AR15 over a rainbow flag that said “fight for equality,” is that really what it’s going to come down to?

  4. 4.

    2liberal

    March 2, 2021 at 3:04 am

    got scheduled up today for shot #1 on Wednesday.  Nice to get that out of the way.

  5. 5.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 2, 2021 at 3:15 am

    @Amir Khalid: ​

    I believe we are witnessing the beginning of the end of the Republican party.

    Are we witnessing it on YouTube or DVD/Bluray? Please say DVD/Bluray? I can fast forward at 7x on my player. :)​

  6. 6.

    the pollyanna from hell

    March 2, 2021 at 3:22 am

    bolshevik vs. menshevik

  7. 7.

    Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.)

    March 2, 2021 at 3:25 am

    Is it too much to ask for this fucklehead to just drop dead already?

  8. 8.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 2, 2021 at 3:28 am

    @Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.): Is it too much to ask for this fucklehead to just drop dead already?

    Is it too much to ask for you to be specific about which fucklehead? :)

  9. 9.

    Raven Onthill

    March 2, 2021 at 3:29 am

    This, from an Antifa reporter: “Good morning, it sure is a great day to not be at #CPAC2021 anymore Y’all I am not sure how I’m alive right now. I am composed entirely of an unholy amalgam of alcohol and coffee. I’ve barely slept and barely eaten but I’ve learned a lot Here’s some general policy observations:” – https://twitter.com/LauraJedeed/status/1366481392587190274?s=20

    Her take is that CPAC now represents the center right. I hope she’s wrong, but fear she’s not.

  10. 10.

    James E Powell

    March 2, 2021 at 3:29 am

    @Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.):

    Is it too much to ask for this fucklehead to just drop dead already?

    I don’t want him to die. I want Trump the rambling incoherent dotard dominating the Republican Party for the next eight years.

  11. 11.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 2, 2021 at 3:42 am

    @James E Powell: Dominating or destroying?

  12. 12.

    JWR

    March 2, 2021 at 3:44 am

    But he knows they voted to impeach him for his role in the insurrection, so they get to hire bodyguards and food-tasters.

    Except for the bodyguards, this hadn’t occurred to me. Wonder if he’s had a little chat with Vlad about it.

    he doesn’t speak in metaphors.

    His voice was literally dripping with “it’s payback time” when he said “Get rid of them all.” It was all of his petty grievances crammed into one little phrase.

  13. 13.

    NotMax

    March 2, 2021 at 3:54 am

    @Raven Onthill

    Moving the Overton cesspool.

  14. 14.

    Steeplejack

    March 2, 2021 at 3:56 am

    Annals of the Former Guy:

    Secret Service just released new docs showing Trump’s first trip to Bedminster as POTUS in 2017—and the spigot of taxpayer money it opened for his business.

    First trip: 4 days, Trump Org charged the Secret Service $5,343 for a cottage near Trump.
    1/2

    After that, the Secret Service started renting the cottage every night, just to be ready. Trump Org charged $566.64 per night, every night.

    First bill: $9,689.60.

    That was the start. Over Trump’s presidency, Trump charged taxpayers more than $392,000 for rooms at Bedminster.

  15. 15.

    the pollyanna from hell

    March 2, 2021 at 3:56 am

    My private count of American conflict based on lying stands at half the wars and ninety per cent of the genocides. Turnip is a twofer!

  16. 16.

    Frankensteinbeck

    March 2, 2021 at 4:03 am

    People are taking this way too seriously.  It’s CPAC.  It’s always horrible.  It’s the worst of the Republican Party and every year the topic is whatever they think trolls Democrats.

    Mainstream Republican pundits were speculating about military coups when Obama was elected.  The state parties were discussing secession.  Posters have had bullseyes over Democrats.  Voter suppression has been the Republican electoral strategy for as long as I can remember.  Trump was uniquely horrible.  The rest is business as usual and people are only just noticing how ugly that is.

    Only one thing came out of CPAC that’s telling.  Slightly over a month since he lost power, in the friendliest event to him possible, Trump got only 55% of the Republican vote.  And this is the only event he’s been able to book.  Wrap Trump up.  He’s done.  Republicans are well on their way to forgetting him.

  17. 17.

    Raven Onthill

    March 2, 2021 at 4:06 am

    “A guy I chatted with thought a Pompeo-Hawley ticket would unite the party in 2024. I think he’s right. It’s a terrifying ticket.” – LJ

    And Kristi Noem seems to be a female version of Hitler.

  18. 18.

    the pollyanna from hell

    March 2, 2021 at 4:21 am

    More of my made-up numbers: how does demography move? 2% points every two years, 5% every four.

  19. 19.

    Dan B

    March 2, 2021 at 4:36 am

    @Raven Onthill: What about DeathSantis / Hawley?  I thought Death S won the poll at CPAC if Turnip was off the poll.

    Also, wasn’t there an alternative to CPAC – only one day. It was outright White Supremacist and also seemed to call for terrorism and sedition.  That would make CPAC “Center Right”.  Don’t remember the name at the moment.

  20. 20.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 2, 2021 at 4:44 am

    I wonder what Beschloss’ nym here is.

  21. 21.

    lurker

    March 2, 2021 at 4:48 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: john cole

     

    ; – )

  22. 22.

    Amir Khalid

    March 2, 2021 at 4:54 am

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    It’s CPAC. It’s always horrible. It’s the worst of the Republican Party and every year the topic is whatever they think trolls Democrats.

    Like when that idiot mocked Joe Biden’s dog for being old. They have no policy ideas beyond cutting taxes and regulation. Trolling Democrats is the only thing that motivates them now, isn’t it?
     ​

  23. 23.

    Amir Khalid

    March 2, 2021 at 4:59 am

    @Dan B:
    I think it was noted that DeSantis’ home ground advantage had something to do with his winning the poll, not that the win really means anything.​

  24. 24.

    JAFD

    March 2, 2021 at 5:13 am

    @Amir Khalid: Methinks ’twas Gene McCarthy who said “The Republican Party is like the lichen on the trees.  There’s not much life in them in the best of times, but they’re very hard to kill.”

  25. 25.

    Baud

    March 2, 2021 at 5:13 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    Haha.  I was thinking the same thing. We should create an Honorary Jackal award just so we can give it to him.

  26. 26.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    March 2, 2021 at 5:30 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: ​  I wonder what Rachel Maddow’s nym is. She clearly reads the threads.

    me, Friday night:

    I remember 2009 when the republicans and media went all out after Obama’s $787 billion stimulus. Biden’s stimulus is nearly 3 times bigger and not a peep.​

    Rachel, last night:

    “Republicans lost their minds over the 2009 recovery act and they never stopped talking about it… there was no rhetoric too extreme for them to use to denounce the recovery act and this time not a peep“​​

  27. 27.

    SFAW

    March 2, 2021 at 6:41 am

    @mrmoshpotato:

    Is it too much to ask for you to be specific about which fucklehead?

    All of ’em, Katie

    ETA: Including Rupert and Lachlan, which would (possibly) go a long way to robbing the RWMFs of some oxygen.

  28. 28.

    SFAW

    March 2, 2021 at 6:51 am

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    A number of people did not take Shitgibbon seriously in 2015. As the saying goes, “How’d that work out?”

    When 75 percent of Rethugs believe the election was stolen, and when 40-plus percent of the electorate would still vote for a guy who burned their house down and killed their dog/cat, as long as he had an “R” after his name, then not taking them seriously is not a particularly good strategery.

  29. 29.

    Geminid

    March 2, 2021 at 7:37 am

    @SFAW: My Atlanta friend still worries about a trump presidential campaign in 2024, says we are not out of the woods yet. I am inclined to agree with Mr. Cole, when he says that trump is now a Republican problem. And a big problem, I would add.

    An interesting CPAC fact: ten years ago the winner of CPAC’s straw poll was Mitt Romney. Now these people would not nominate Romney for dogcatcher. Romney’s politics have changed little, but CPAC has gone off the deep end.

  30. 30.

    Nicole

    March 2, 2021 at 7:52 am

    @David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch:

    As I recall, a commenter’s “one-act play” comment (I can’t remember what it was about, but I remember it was hilarious) made it onto her show one night, so yes, I think someone from her show does visit the site.

    She also did a bit on IOKIYAR, which I’ve only ever seen here.

  31. 31.

    Argiope

    March 2, 2021 at 8:09 am

    @Geminid: he will definitely run, if he’s not in jail.  Can anyone see him giving up that much cash and attention?

  32. 32.

    SFAW

    March 2, 2021 at 8:35 am

    @Geminid:

     I am inclined to agree with Mr. Cole, when he says that trump is now a Republican problem.

    He’s a problem for the country, not Rethugs. I have no idea how successful Rethug voter-suppression laws (presumably getting enacted between now and 2024) will be, but I’m assuming they’ll make the difference in a few states. And with four years on the Big Lie tacked on? I’m a little worried.

  33. 33.

    Mo Salad

    March 2, 2021 at 8:49 am

    @David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch: ​
     Have you seen “Fight Club” lately, Rachel?

  34. 34.

    Geminid

    March 2, 2021 at 9:04 am

    @Argiope: trump will certainly tease a presidential run, and thereby soak up attention and donations at least until 2023. His strength in his party will be measured in the 2022 primaries and general elections. The Georgia state primaries, where Kemp and Raffensperger face renomination, will be key tests. Lisa Murkowski’s race in Alaska will show trump’s strength there, although Murkowski will benefit from a new “jungle” primary. House impeacher Adam Kinsinger will test the power of trumpism in the Illinois party in his primary. Fellow impeacher Tom Rice is probably a goner in his South Carolina primary, although he might squeak though a primary if there are multiple trumpers arrayed against him.

    Florida’s Governor’s race will be a key test. If trump acolyte  DeSantis fails reelection, trump’s weakness in his new home state would be exposed. In any event that will almost certainly be a close election. Republican candidates in 2010 and 2014 won by only 60,000 votes out of 5 million+ votes cast. In 2018, DeSantis won by 33,000 out over over 8 million. Florida Senate votes have closely tracked the Governor’s race, so Marco Rubio’s race will be especially interesting, as his support of trump has been less than the absolute loyalty trumpists demand.

    trump weakness in the upcoming cycle will persuade party leaders that it’s time to move on. The voting base may be another story. In Virginia, successive drubbings in state and federal elections have not convinced the hard right radicals to change course. Sometimes I think they regard winning control of the Republican party as an end in itself, not as a means to electoral success. The die-hard trumpers may act like lemmings in the next couple cycles, and drag the party with them, over the cliff. At least I hope so.

  35. 35.

    Geminid

    March 2, 2021 at 9:08 am

    @SFAW: My Atlanta friend also worries, and he’s a fairly canny cat. I may have to adjust my relative optimism based on the next election cycle.

  36. 36.

    Bruce K in ATH-GR

    March 2, 2021 at 10:48 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    I believe we are witnessing the beginning of the end of the Republican party.

    From your virtual lips to the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s notional ears, Amir. Because if the GQP survives, America will be dead within 20 years.

  37. 37.

    Quicksand

    March 2, 2021 at 10:58 am

    We can’t win the presidency with this boring, low energy, stream of conscience, weak, has been, choke artist.

    LOL, if only!

  38. 38.

    Geminid

    March 2, 2021 at 11:50 am

    @Bruce K in ATH-GR: The Republican party will likely survive. I’m hoping it will survive on nationzl level as a hollowed out, marginilized institution, like the Virginia Republican party. They had a dominant position in Virginia politics twenty years ago, but in the last ten years the state has gone from purple to blue, while the Repuicans have persisted in their rightward  lurch.

  39. 39.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    March 2, 2021 at 3:57 pm

    @Mo Salad: ​
     

    you know what the first rule is – never talk about fight club

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • RevRick on An Un-Holy Alliance (and Kittens!) (Mar 25, 2023 @ 7:03pm)
  • Geminid on An Un-Holy Alliance (and Kittens!) (Mar 25, 2023 @ 7:02pm)
  • Spanky on An Un-Holy Alliance (and Kittens!) (Mar 25, 2023 @ 7:02pm)
  • cain on An Un-Holy Alliance (and Kittens!) (Mar 25, 2023 @ 6:57pm)
  • cain on An Un-Holy Alliance (and Kittens!) (Mar 25, 2023 @ 6:56pm)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!