Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Not rolling over. fuck you, make me.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

Roe is not about choice. It is about freedom.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

“But what about the lurkers?”

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Murdered, By Words

Murdered, By Words

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I have a weakness for dead Republican politician twitters, and a couple of them had their A game going today.


There must be some political consultant who gives Republicans like Rubio, who can’t figure it out for themselves, shitposting lessons. That guy probably feels the same way as my piano teacher did when I’d come in for a lesson as a kid: can’t this dumb fuck learn anything?


I know who writes Dick Nixon (playwright Justin Sherin), but I have no idea who writes Sen. Milton Young. My guess is some TV writer from North Dakota who lives in LA, because the ND references are solid, but they’re interspersed with SoCal references (Ralph’s, for example) that Young would never use.

Open thread.

Reader Interactions

59Comments

  1. 1.

    BruceFromOhio

    Oh Ron.​
     

    There must be some political consultant who gives Republicans like Rubio, who can’t figure it out for themselves, shitposting lessons.

    Ben Shapiro comes to mind. Also that stupid guy in the back of my American Literature class who would never shut the fuck up, no matter how many times he got shit on.

  2. 2.

    Ruckus

    Considering your first sentence, it’s good that I actually read posts before I comment.

  4. 4.

    debbie

    I have followed this Nixon guy for a long time, but I can’t figure out his issues with ‘Lil Marco.

  8. 8.

    mrmoshpotato

    Oh for fuck’s sake!  Can we just have Shithead Ted read Green Eggs and Ham again?

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    Li’l Marco evidently lacks even one thing to do. So we get this, whatever it may be.

  12. 12.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Benw:

    and seek training on unconscious bias. 

    That part is gold.  You can just feel the fauxtrage through the screen.

  14. 14.

    Four Seasons Total Landscaping mistermix

    @debbie: Remember what Nixon said about Barbara Bush:  she knew how to hate.  He considered that a high compliment.  I think that’s what’s going on with Rubio and @dick_nixon.

  15. 15.

    Four Seasons Total Landscaping mistermix

    @M. Bouffant: Sorry, I’m from the Dakotas, not SoCal, so I would get that wrong.  Senator Young also got it wrong, which is either evidence for my theory that he’s from ND and living in SoCal, or there’s some seven dimensional chess going on here.

  17. 17.

    artem1s

    why should the clerk read the bill?  Make Johnson read the damn thing – if he can.

  18. 18.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @mrmoshpotato: 

    You can just feel the fauxtrage through the screen.

    I think the point is trolling. Rubio thinks that by applying it to neanderthals this way, he has made it clear how stupid liberal sensitivity to minority issues is. Certainly, a whole lot of conservatives (and far left misogynists) love that kind of joke/argument.

  19. 19.

    cain

    I wish there was a headline that would have said “Sen Marco Rubio accuses most Asian and European Americans of being part Neanderthal”

  20. 20.

    cain

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    I thought it was a bit of shit posting since he was stalking about sensitivity training on bias. I think he must have gotten it recently.

    He’s stupid AF. I hope two rabbits mutilate his face while copulating.

    ETA: Oh.. My.. GOD.. #20. I’m.. feeling emotional right now.. I don’t think I’ve even gotten #20! This calls for a celebration!! I’m thinking a Southside Gin Gimlet – something from the roaring 20s!!

  21. 21.

    Snarki, child of Loki

    Neanderthal’s had larger brains than H. Sapiens.

    It’s probably why they just gave up and died out when they saw that critters like Dubya, Trump, and Rubio would be running things.

  24. 24.

    feebog

    I tweeted at the Hoarse Whisperer that Rubio’s tweet was so dumb twitter needed to be shut down and fumigated.

  25. 25.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @cain: I wish there was a headline that would have said “Sen Marco Rubio accuses most Asian and European Americans of being part Neanderthal”…

    Micro Rubio, the index case primary living representative (other than Mike Pence) of Homo stupiens stupidensis

  30. 30.

    japa21

    @M. Bouffant: Next you’re going to tell me it’s Meijer, not Meijers.

    Also, too: I am on Firefox and got the visual to work. First time in a long time.

  32. 32.

    germy

    New: Federal investigators are examining communication records between members of Congress and the pro-Trump mob that attacked the US Capitol, as probe moves closer to exploring whether lawmakers wittingly or unwittingly helped the insurrectionists, @evanperez reporting

    — Jim Sciutto (@jimsciutto) March 4, 2021

    “unwittingly” lmfao.

    — Mbar (@mbarmbarmbar) March 4, 2021

  33. 33.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @debbie: I’ve always figured it’s some fusion of Scherin’s own opinion of Rubio with an educated guess of what the old Orthogonian would’ve thought of the presumptuous little lightweight who tried to run for President

  34. 34.

    Jeffro

    There’s ol’ RJ again, doing Putin’s work by jamming up the US government and Covid relief for its citizens.

    Meanwhile, the KY legislature is looking into changing the law in case of the sudden departure of Senator Turtle…wouldn’t want that awful(ly amazing) Gov Beshear appointing a Democrat to fill that seat, now would we?

    Eagerly anticipating the HR 1 vote in the Senate (I’ll read it out loud for you, Senator Johnson) and the 1/6 Truth and Retribution for Sedition Commission.

  35. 35.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Baud:

    Joy Reid is possibly the only person in the world who looks fabulous in that shade of chartreuse.

  36. 36.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    Let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that lil’ Marco doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

  37. 37.

    Jeffro

    @germy: “I didn’t mean to hold the door for those bank robbers on their way in AND out of the bank, officer!  And I surely didn’t mean it when I blamed the robbery on the tellers, bystanders, the media, and you…all of that was just…unwitting.”

  38. 38.

    dmsilev

    @germy: Some GOP legislators are sufficiently stupid that even willing actions might reasonably be described as having been done “unwittingly”.

  41. 41.

    Spanky

    I’m getting ads for Mutual Screw Supply. Apparently that’s a real thing, and where better to surface than BJ?

  42. 42.

    Jeffro

    Rubio’s dumb, but even he got the memo that the GQP’s just doing culture war* and flat-out lying from now until the heat death of the universe.  Can’t do anything to help constituents who are freezing, dying from a virus, can’t find a job, etc but they sure as hell can district, distract, distract.

    *with apologies to the Chordettes, their one hit just popped into my mind…”culture war, culture war, oh cultu- cultu- cultu-…culture war, culture war, oh cultu- cultu- cultu-…” (complete with ‘POP’ at the end)  But seriously, it may as well be the GQP’s theme song from here on out.

  44. 44.

    Baud

    This is a thing.

    Why Glenn Greenwald Says Tucker Carlson Is a True Socialist (Jonathan Chait/New York Magazine)

  45. 45.

    Old School

    @Jeffro:

    *with apologies to the Chordettes, their one hit just popped into my mind…

    Mr. Sandman?

    (Yes, I know which one you mean.)

  47. 47.

    Geminid

    Beating Marco Rubio next year may have gotten a little bit tougher. The two term mayor of Boyton Beach in south Florida has filed papers for a “long shot” independent bid for Senate. He’s a young guy, termlimited out of his job, who says he is running against the “duopoly.”

  51. 51.

    cain

    @SiubhanDuinne: ​
     

    chartreuse

    Which one? green or yellow chartreuse.. both are wonderful. I have a yellow one in my cocktail right now. It’s happy hour you know.

  52. 52.

    cain

    @Geminid: ​
    He’s a young guy, termlimited out of his job, who says he is running against the “duopoly.”

     
    I read that as dope-poly

  53. 53.

    Amir Khalid

    Yesterday, when I suggested that Republican use Biden’s Neanderthal-shaming as a talking point against him, I was kidding. I swear it. You guys know I do that, right? I mean, it never crossed my mind that they’d actually go and do it.

  54. 54.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Richard M. Nixon @dick_nixon 10m
    Greenwald only ever mattered to people who think that opposing things is a coherent politics. On a particular point your enemy’s enemy is your friend, sure, but those who define themselves entirely against things are dangerous. They look for an iron fist.

  55. 55.

    SFAW

    @Amir Khalid:

    Mein Freund, you know that with great power comes great responsibility. You should use yours for good, not for giving RWMFs and morons like Marco el Pequeno (assume a tilde) something with which they can troll.

    Or something.

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