Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Cole is on a roll !

The new republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

Republicans would impeach Biden if he bit into a whole Kit Kat rather than breaking the sections apart.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

An almost top 10,000 blog!

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

People are complicated. Love is not.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

You are here: Home / Politics / Biden Administration in Action / President Biden Signs The American Rescue Plan

Reader Interactions

153Comments

  2. 2.

    WaterGirl

    I really thought he might sign it yesterday so so many people are in urgent need, so this doesn’t surprise me.   Definitely happy to see this!

  5. 5.

    O. Felix Culpa

    This is a Biden BFD. What a shot in the arm for the country. Thank you, Democrats!

    (And thank you, Cheryl, for posting.)

  9. 9.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @geg6: I thought so too, but IIRC he’s giving a speech from the Oval tonight.  He should have interrupted his planned speech and just said, “give me the fucking bill” and sign it on live TV*.

    *Probably too much like The Former Guy would have done.

  10. 10.

    Immanentize

    The bill passed the House yesterday.  What was the hold up?  Why did Biden delay the signing?  Whoever died in the last 24 hours is on him.

  12. 12.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: not a bad idea anyway. I’m guessing he wanted to say “I have signed” instead of “I intend to sign”

    and the cynic in me wonders if those payouts that will be done by bank transfer will be in some people’s accounts by the time he speaks

  14. 14.

    Dan B

    @Immanentize: I appreciate the fact that Biden could have signed yesterday but that would have rushed the people who had to make all the necessary copies of the bill.  He understands that executive decisions affect people.  He’s thinking about people as much as money.

    So many breaths of fresh air!

    P.S. Your sarcasm persona works for me.

  19. 19.

    WaterGirl

    They are also delaying Jen Psaki’s daily press briefing – I imagine they don’t want that to start until President Biden has signed the bill.

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    I missed the wonderful bill signing because of something even more wonderful.  I hope this is happening all around the country today, and certainly around central Virginia:
    At 1:15, I got an email from the CDC entitled Please register to schedule an appointment with a vaccine questionnaire.  Mind you, I meet NONE of the usual eligibility requirements (age, public facing job, pre-existing conditions, etc.).  I figured I’d get an appointment in a few weeks’ time and be thrilled with that.

    AND:  they’re doing a vaccine clinic at the Richmond Raceway tomorrow and next week, and I got a slot late tomorrow morning.  There seem to be plenty of later appointments available, too.  Dozens upon dozens that I could see. Tomorrow.  I chose Pfizer, and feel a tad guilty about that, since J&J would be fine too, but since they gave me a choice …

    Tears in my eyes.  I am so happy and relieved.

    I wonder if a lot of these CDC emails are going out today.  It was already a big day with a Big Fucking President Biden speech tonight at 8.  I was already happy enough.  Wow.

    Under new management.  Thank you, President Biden and good people everywhere.  Thank you, Virginia.

  21. 21.

    MisterForkbeard

    Checking my notes from Foxland, and I’m pretty sure that starting this late is because Biden must be senile or Harris hasn’t put on her iron fist or something.

    But really, I want to watch this fucker get signed and am grateful it waited until after my meeting was over. Let’s do it!

  26. 26.

    Benw

    @Elizabelle: yeah my wife got a similar email from her department chair yesterday. Everyone on campus – even non-teaching staff – may be eligible soon. So excited!!

  27. 27.

    Elizabelle

    @MisterForkbeard:   It was so fast and professional.  The CDC is under new management, too!

    First time I will ever set foot on Nascar territory.  LOL.

    I was going to be so happy if I got an appointment in May.  Wow.

  28. 28.

    WaterGirl

    @Elizabelle: Happy for you, Elizabelle!

    I wondered if Schumer had gotten out ahead of his skis when he said something about this sort of thing a couple of days ago, and then had to walk it back.  (-ish)

  34. 34.

    MisterForkbeard

    SIGNED, MOFOS Jackals!

    And he walks out while reporters are yelling incomprehensibly :)

  36. 36.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Baud: Hm. I could have sworn he said he’d be speaking about it tonight, and then there’s be additional speeches over the next few days as they cover and go over all the portions of the bill for the american people.

    But I might have misheard – double tasking.

  38. 38.

    Immanentize

    @Elizabelle: Sadly nothing like that in Massachusetts yet.  We seem to have really insufficient supply coming into our state.

    But I’m very glad you are getting yours!

  42. 42.

    Elizabelle

    Yay!!!

    A shot tomorrow, and my bank account gets one soon too.

    I am liking President Joseph R. Biden and VP Kamala D. Harris.

  43. 43.

    HRA

    That was quick. I expected to see a longer ceremony and one with pens being handed out. Done and it is very meaningful either way.

  44. 44.

    Josie

    So refreshing. No trumpets or fawning fans or fancy pens. Just signed the bill and walked out All in a day’s work.

  45. 45.

    Elizabelle

    @Immanentize:   My fingers are crossed for you and all our jackals, and Immp and all our loved ones and neighbors.  I hope a lot of people get surprise emails from the CDC, and jump on them when they arrive!

  46. 46.

    MisterForkbeard

    Biden’s going to speak tonight at 8pm ET, but it’s more about COVID and not explicitly about the bill, I think.

  47. 47.

    Dan B

    @Elizabelle: I got the Jab 1 on Saturday.  Half the crowd was under 60, 30-60 and looked healthy.  Not sure if it was essential, or teachers, or retail front line but it looked like a couple thousand a day.  I’m glad that the vaccinations are getting to more than just the most vulnerable because front of the house / business can infect the vulnerable as well.

    Congrats on feeling relieved – and go hide under the biggest rock for a couple weeks!

  51. 51.

    Immanentize

    @Elizabelle: I did just peak at my email accounts.  Just in case.  No Easter miracle yet. ?? Or an end to plagues, either. ???????☄️⚫?

    Still, it’s warm out (but I am staying in)

  53. 53.

    Dan B

    @MisterForkbeard: It seems suspiciously* like Biden knows how to leave the media dangling and then do several signings, acknowledging signing, explaining benefits, and then a signing “official ceremony” 24 later.

    *Suspiciously like he knows how to get the media to cover it as a “story”.  [Biden does signing but it’s official tomorrow.  What does this mean?  News at 11.]

  54. 54.

    laura

    I got a head’s up Tuesday afternoon that a public drive thru clinic was having it’s first weekly drive through. Spouse and I registered, got emailed notes from our doctor and just got home from jab 1 of Pfizer. I had a reaction immediately like a very mild allergic reaction that passed in about 10 minutes. Still feeling a bit lougie, but the relief is palpable.

    The drive thru was massively staffed and organized and spirits were high! Good feelings all around.

  57. 57.

    Dan B

    @WaterGirl: So great they’re telling people what they did and what it means.  Many very smart people believe the public will understand.  Madison Avenue has paid massive bucks to simply get noticed.  They must have some data that shows it is effective.  Although there could be a lot of very stupid CEO’s.

  58. 58.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    My daughter is due with twins in May so I’m really excited for the monthly child stipend. Not that we wouldn’t have kicked in whatever we needed to in order to help..

  60. 60.

    rekoob

    @Elizabelle: Thanks for the heads up. I also got the CDC e-mail and registered. No more slots available for tomorrow, but 1st Pfizer next Wednesday afternoon! I’m essentially on the cusp of current eligibility, but there seemed to be plenty of open slots still.

  62. 62.

    Elizabelle

    @ DanB and laura and Mrs. benw and everybody:   So happy to hear about jackals getting stuck with needles.

    It is really happening.  And may Massachusetts and all the other states pleasantly surprise ALL of you, promptly!  I am so grateful.

    What a wonderful mission for the National Guard, too, who are assisting at many of these pop-up clinics. They get a chance to be part of the solution to COVID.  A life-preserving mission.  Grateful for all our health care providers, researchers, all of them.

  65. 65.

    aliasofwestgate

    Wisconsin will be opening up group 1C on March 29th, which i am actually in with my asthma. So yeah. I’m stupidly glad it’s so well organized here,  and continually evolving the more vaccine we get sent and as things progress.

    This? Makes it even cooler, because it means more help gets sent out ASAP to those that need it. I love how he doesn’t stand on much ceremony. The official ceremony will be tomorrow, but i imagine even that will be muted just because of teh whole covid thing in general too. Nothing like the Former Guy’s cramped rooms.

  66. 66.

    Mo Salad

    I liked it. Especially the part where I had to jump forward an hour into the video to catch the 3 minute signing.

    I can’t even say ceremony. No happy faces standing behind him, no using 30 pens to write his signature so that everybody gets a pen. No spiking the ball.

    Just the appropriate seriousness and solemnity. Perfect.

  67. 67.

    Monala

    @Elizabelle: is this just for people in VA? I’m in WA with a public facing job and have pre-existing conditions, and I’m still not eligible.

  68. 68.

    Elizabelle

    @Monala:   I suspect it is just for Virginia.  I wonder if the CDC is working off the Obamacare website, since that’s how I get my healthcare.

    I so hope you get an email and an appointment, pronto.  Perhaps events are moving rapidly.  I am sad that it’s so localized, because I would have been fine with just knowing I was in the queue for weeks or months from now.  I would so give you my slot, were it possible, as you face more risk than I do.

  69. 69.

    cckids

    @Monala: This is me as well. I’ve been told anecdotally that the “public-facing” cohort will open up on March 22, but nothing official. It’s very frustrating.

  70. 70.

    MisterForkbeard

    @aliasofwestgate: This reminds me that I’m going to need to ask my PCP to write me a note confirming I have asthma.

    I don’t get really get treated for it, but I keep an inhaler for the once every year or two attacks, and for whenever I catch a cold or a flu and my lungs act up.

    I’m in group 1C in California because of my job (IT/tech) last I checked, but I also may qualify because of asthma. Can’t wait to find out what the vaccination schedule is like.

  73. 73.

    Gvg

    I am in the waiting area for after Pfizer. Work sent out an email saying a specific site fema an hour and a half away would take university employees with no appointment. So i left work and got it. Had discussed with bosses my intention to grab the first appointment i could and they actually forwarded the deans email announcement saying are you going?

  78. 78.

    Dan B

    @Monala: I know your frustration.  A 63 year old friend got her second jab three weeks ago.  She signed up  with Virginia Mason (hospital) when they launched and got her first jab three days later.  I tried their site a day after her first and didn’t even get any response, then got a notice I could sign up three days before Kaiser had me scheduled.  Kaiser had me wait for 7 weeks and I’m 1B tier 1.  I was (am for a couple weeks still) at 50% risk of dying.  The lack of coordination leaves many people in a state of anxiety.  It does look like vaccinations will ramp up soon with the 22,000 per day site at full bore in a couple weeks.  I hope you get scheduled soon.

  82. 82.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Emma G. Fitzsimmons @emmagf · 4h
    Mayor Bill de Blasio says now that Gov. Cuomo has faced allegations by six women, he must resign: “It is disgusting to me, and he can no longer serve as governor.”

  86. 86.

    Kayla Rudbek

    @Elizabelle: it’s probably the Obamacare website as I’m in Virginia and no CDC email for me. I’m probably about number 100,000 on the county list so far (the only good thing about this cancer diagnosis).

  87. 87.

    Dan B

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: So many spectacularly Badass Women serving some expert Whoop Ass to Poor Woodle Tucky ;<(

    Such a sad excuse for a Manly Big Victim.

    Didn’t people like Touchy Tucky used to end up on dartboards?  If Tammy Duckworth made one the bullseye would probably be centered on Little Tucky.

    Right?

  89. 89.

    James E Powell

    @MisterForkbeard:

    That thing they do, the yelling. Is that supposed to be good? do they think they will get an answer?

    We can’t see them so no one knows who is or isn’t doing yelling or who is yelling what question. Do they need their bosses to hear them shouting? Are they doing it for each other?

  90. 90.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Dan B: I don’t get dancing with the stars, but I get even less its attraction for right-wingers: Tucker, Tom Delay, Sean Spicer, Rick Perry

    I actually googled Tom Delay DWTS, because “wait, did that really happen?”

    Spicer I suppose had to make  a payment on his Vega or something

  92. 92.

    Brachiator

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I don’t get dancing with the stars, but I get even less its attraction for right-wingers: Tucker, Tom Delay, Sean Spicer, Rick Perry

    Maybe the viewership skews traditionalist/conservative. I’ve never watched more than a few minutes of various episodes, and didn’t realize how many conservatives had been on the show.

    It might also be that people with real talent tend to be more unconventional, and there may be slightly more liberal people among the unconventional. And people with real talent have better things to do with their time than appear on this program.

  95. 95.

    germy

    Resetting our clocks twice a year worked for Americans a century ago, but it’s time for a change. Instead of regularly disrupting our lives, we can make Daylight Saving Time permanent and give families more sunlight to enjoy after work and school.

    — Sheldon Whitehouse (@SenWhitehouse) March 11, 2021

  99. 99.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @germy: I don’t have any kids and I set my own work hours, so this should make little difference to me, but for some reason the ‘spring ahead’ fucks me up a couple of weeks every year

  100. 100.

    Cheryl Rofer

    Some of us like the extra light in the morning, but I am afraid we will lose our rights to an overbearing majority.

    Also don’t like the time change, so I guess there’s that.

  103. 103.

    germy

    @Cheryl Rofer: 

    I’m never happy. I don’t like when it’s dark 4pm in the winter, but I also don’t like when the sun is shining into my window 8pm in the summer. I find that oppressive.

  104. 104.

    Kayla Rudbek

    @Elizabelle: Thanks for the kind thoughts and good wishes. I am now scheduled for surgery towards the end of April, looking like lumpectomy unless MRI and/or genetic testing indicates otherwise.

  105. 105.

    germy

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    You think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING! The shadows betray you, because they belong to me!

  106. 106.

    Betsy

    @Elizabelle: I’m so happy for you!  Tears in the eyes, that’s how I felt too when I found out I qualified (after assuming I would be among the last to qualify, and resolving myself to being patient until July or something).

    Last week, I left the vaxx site after Dose #1 with a sense of jubilation.  I even stopped on the spur of the moment coming home, and bought some vegetable starts at the hardware store — the space was mostly outdoors and anyway I was all suited up coming from the vacc site — it felt great to be starting my 6- or 7-week countdown to “Immunity Day.”

    Do something to celebrate after you get done tomorrow!  And then have fun planning what you will do on “Immunity Day.”

  107. 107.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @germy:

    don’t like when the sun is shining into my window 8pm in the summer. I find that oppressive.

    me too, I think I have reverse-SAD. June and July are the longest months for me

  109. 109.

    Old School

    @germy: I’ve often argued for a second round of daylight savings time in August to make the sunset even later in Aug/Sept and enjoy the warm weather while it is around.

  110. 110.

    Brachiator

    @germy:

    Resetting our clocks twice a year worked for Americans a century ago, but it’s time for a change. Instead of regularly disrupting our lives, we can make Daylight Saving Time permanent and give families more sunlight to enjoy after work and school.

    If God had wanted permanent Daylight Saving Time, He/She would have adjusted the rotation of the Earth. Or something.​

  111. 111.

    Nicole

    @Kayla Rudbek: End of April?  That’s probably a good indication they don’t  think it’s too aggressive.  If it were, they’d be rushing to do it sooner.  Here’s hoping your genetic results don’t require a change in plan.  Mine… have led to my getting a colonoscopy every 4 years, due to the gene I have increasing risk of colon cancer as well as breast.  Le sigh.

  113. 113.

    counterfactual

    Ohio opened up group 2 today for 50+. I woke up at noon, registered and have an appointment tomorrow. This is a new site from the ones they had open for my 80+ dad.

  114. 114.

    J R in WV

    Yay, Senator Tammy ! Put Tucker in his proper place.

    We supported her first campaigns because she was a wounded vet with good ideas. She still has good ideas and plans, but may not need small donations so much with her continued success!

  117. 117.

    Ruckus

    @Elizabelle:

    I think a lot of the higher risk folks that want shots have gotten them – not nearly all of them for sure, but a lot. I think it’s time to go for it for everyone else. Also, I’d bet the CDC has a better hand on having a robust system, as they are more used to working with big numbers and lots of moving pieces, and are not hampered by conservative politics at the moment.

  118. 118.

    Kayla Rudbek

    @Nicole: yes, the pathology results indicated that both sides were growing slowly enough that chemotherapy is not needed. I may also be getting colonoscopies due to family history and the current diagnosis alone…

  120. 120.

    Ken

    @germy: “Scientists say that nothing is faster than light, but they forget that wherever the light goes, it finds the darkness got there first, and is waiting for it.”

    — or words to that effect, by Terry Pratchett

  121. 121.

    MisterForkbeard

    @The Moar You Know: I haven’t been able to get a straight answer on this, weirdly enough.

    It’s not listed in the 8 or 10 specific illnesses, but there’s also disclaimers about “other lung-specific illnesses”. Basically, when they open up I’m going to call in and get an explicit answer.

  122. 122.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    @germy: Surprised Republicans are onboard. I’d expect them to be trying to set the clocks back 160 years.

  123. 123.

    germy

    What’s the problem with NY?

    They opened up 60+  so I’m eligible now.

    Registered with the county online.  After filling out all my info I see a disclaimer:  “This is not a registration”   – just info gathering.

    Then my wife suggested I register with the pharmacy down our street.  Starts with a “W” and it’s only a few short blocks away.  I registered online and it keeps telling me “Appointments are open!” so I give my personal info, set up an account with a password, and then after I fill out the online form, it tells me the site is not working at this time.

    Cuomo blamed Trump, and I agree, but I see other states like Ohio moving forward.  What’s up with NY?

  125. 125.

    The Moar You Know

    I called both my Senators and my Rep and begged them to vote for the permanent DST bill.  I am so sick of the time changes, and it makes my dog insane for weeks afterwards every time.

    If anyone is looking for those precious bipartisan points, this is one issue that will get them.  EVERYBODY hates the fucking time change.

  126. 126.

    Spanky

    @Elizabelle: 
    Yup, I got an email yesterday saying to register asap. Just came back from Round One of Moderna!

    Even here in Larryhoganland.

  128. 128.

    The Moar You Know

    Basically, when they open up I’m going to call in and get an explicit answer.

    @MisterForkbeard:  I’m interested in the answer.  My wife has it pretty bad, I have it somewhat.   We were both told by multiple docs it does not qualify (we qualify for other reasons, thankfully).  Let me know next time you see me here.

  129. 129.

    Ruckus

    @Dan B:

    Actually I think he’s practicing for his next job, kick boxing dummy. He’s got the dummy part down pat.

  130. 130.

    CaseyL

    One time I got the DST jingle backward, as “Spring back, Fall forward,” and the instant it was out of my mouth I: a) knew I’d gotten it backwards; and 2) cracked up laughing, possibly more than the mistake merited.

  131. 131.

    Spanky

    Making Daylight Saving permanent is just fucking stupid. People can and do adjust their personal schedules to fit the day.

    No daylight is manufactured with DST. Let the sun stand to the south at noon  like Gaia intended.

  133. 133.

    James E Powell

    The story that is being discussed on twitter that will not be featured on any cable shows:

    Biden is an earnest & capable president. The WH press corps despises him for it.

  135. 135.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    I’m getting second Moderna tomorrow, Mrs. Fuckhead is getting second Pfizer Monday. I was supposed to get the second Moderna today but I fucked up the registration. When I got the email telling me the shot was on the 11th, I didn’t read the whole email through to see the link to register at the bottom. Last night, I started wondering what my time slot was so I went back and looked at the email and saw the link to register. Tried and the link is now dead. Emailed Virginia Department of Health and they emailed me back a link to register for tomorrow. In both our cases, we got the shots through our employers. The department of health decided that the services my workplace offers to special populations put us in the 1b group. In Mrs. Fuckhead’s case, her company is renovating a hospital and the hospital corp. won’t let them do the work unless everyone is vaccinated so the hospital corp. made it happen.

    I have an employee who has many of the same health issues I have and she didn’t feel like our state was moving quickly enough so she traveled to a sparsely populated county in a neighboring state and got the vaccination about a week before it became available locally to all the employees.

    It’s been a fascinating process overall and despite all the hiccups, I think it will be acknowledged someday as a one-of-a-kind public health milestone.

  138. 138.

    danielx

    Got first Pfizer today, in and out in a half hour counting the fifteen minutes after the shot.

    I think I’m going to get the card thingy framed after I get the second one.

    Also too, good on Handsome Joe, and Tucker Carlson should immediately take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

  143. 143.

    frosty

    I just got the shot on the road – Walmart in Hattiesburg Mississippi. They’re “a little more lax”* about the in-state requirement.

    We’ll be due for the second when we’re in California where lax isn’t part if their vocabulary. That will be interesting

    * quote from the pharmacy tech.

  145. 145.

    MissWimsey

    @Elizabelle: the patchwork of immunization efforts that exist — the city requirements differ from the county and the state — makes it really hard to keep track of who is eligible for what where I live. But I saw a tweet in my timeline on Sunday that indicated the mass vaccination site where I live would expand eligibility to include me. I have never moved so fast to try to get an appointment! The website was so glitchy and the complaints online were so many but I managed to snag an appointment for March 19, when I will get the first Pfizer shot. I was nervous until I got the confirmation email. Now I sit right until next week when it will be my turn to roll up my sleeve :)

  148. 148.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Kayla Rudbek: The clocks lie to you either way. Time zones are social constructs–nobody’s been on solar time or even mean solar time for ages.

  149. 149.

    Pete Downunder

    @Old School:  If you want really messed up times zones and DST come to Australia. The country is basically divided in thirds – east, center and west. In the east all the states except Queensland go on DST in our summer, QLD never does.

    In the center South Australia goes on to DST but Northern Territory doesn’t. To make it worse the center is 1/2 hour different. Thus in the summer SA is 1/2 hour ahead of QLD even though it is west of it.

    Western Australia does not go on DST and is 2 hours behind QLD.

    A total mess

    ETA for typo

  151. 151.

    Kayla Rudbek

    Yeah I’m not exactly enthusiastic about using medication that had its origins in WW1 chemical warfare. Yes, it works to kill the cancer, but it’s still killing healthy cells along with the cancer. (I personally want targeted hyperthermia to work out in clinical trials. Get those nanoparticles into the cancer cells and heat up the nanoparticles to burn the cancer cells up from the inside) Burn it up @Nicole:

  152. 152.

    arrieve

    @germy: I’m late to this thread so don’t know if you’ll see this. I also became eligible Wednesday and got an appointment at the Javits Center for April 19th. Then I thought I’d try Walgreen’s because there are so many Walgreen’s/Duane Reade in NYC. The first two days, no appointments available. Then I tried again this morning and got an appointment on Sunday. It’s worth it to keep trying Walgreen’s.

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