Republican senators arrive at a U.S.-Mexico border site in an armed boat. pic.twitter.com/FH0zR7wWYq
— The Recount (@therecount) March 26, 2021
Ted Cruz, point man. He’s decided that negative attention is better than no attention at all…
THANK GOD YOU SURVIVED THE HECKLING! https://t.co/IT7vQdldWy
— Beto O'Rourke (@BetoORourke) March 26, 2021
Mexicans are STEALING OUR HECKLING https://t.co/dmRoZLfm33
— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) March 26, 2021
lol pic.twitter.com/p62qTIEdgG
— chloe simon (@npr_matrix) March 26, 2021
Season 7 of Lost looks really bad. pic.twitter.com/AdEZ1esFD1
— Richard Hall (@_RichardHall) March 26, 2021
That's when Private Ron Johnson got the call. We were spotted. Not by the enemy, but by our former commander. He was in a rage that we hadn't put his name on the side of the boat. We were gonna have to go back and do OPERATION PHOTO-OP all over again. War truly is hell. pic.twitter.com/QgsBF70IjN
— Mr. Newberger (@jeremynewberger) March 26, 2021
People, Mexicans are stealing good American meth making jobs. Did we lose a war or something? https://t.co/aTS2ZHT6mI
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahDispatch) March 26, 2021
round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
the lone and level sands stretch far away(also pictured: part of a wall) pic.twitter.com/MkRudYNcr7
— Peloton InfoSec Analyst (Incident Response) (@CalmSporting) March 27, 2021
NotMax
Better fit here (posted downstairs as at the time that was the freshest thread).
In place of the usual banner up top promoting a movie or program, today Prime video is displaying this message:
“We stand in solidarity with Asian and Pacific Islander communities.”
John S.
These fucking assholes are really a parody of themselves at this point. It’s amazing that anyone still takes them seriously when clearly they don’t even take themselves seriously.
Baud
Tropic Blunder.
dmsilev
Not sure Apocalypse Now really needed an absurdist farce remake, but oh well I guess we have it.
Baud
@John S.:
They’ve honed the style of feeding the base red meat while making everyone else think they’re clowns and therefore not dangerous.
trollhattan
These fuckin’ guys.
gwangung
Talking about assholes….
Bipartisan group of governors condemn anti-Asian violence.
But a further look shows 23 Democratic governors, 2 Republican governors of states and 1 Republican governor of a territory.
That leaves 25 Republican governors who DIDN’T sign.
What the FUCK is partisan about being against anti-Asian violence??????
trollhattan
@dmsilev:
“Apocalypse, Now with Zero Jungle”
Cheryl Rofer
Cruz looked pretty paunchy on his trip to Cancun to get away from freezing Texans, but he looks like he’s put on twenty pounds since then.
raven
fuck it
Lapassionara
“Massive influx” and “countless women and children.” And “heckled by the cartel.” I really wish some reporter would ask them how many they saw and what did the hecklers say.
John S.
@Baud: Red meat implies teeth are needed to consume it. This stuff is more like feeding the base meat purée that they can gum down without even having to chew.
Lapassionara
@Cheryl Rofer: Thank you. What a physique on that guy! Not!
raven
@Lapassionara: Beso me culo or maybe Chinga tu madre, puta!
debbie
Montana meth is all over Twitter. That’s some export to be proud of. //
tokyokie
@Lapassionara:
I believe that when Fled Cruz says “countless,” it means more than his number of fingers.
debbie
@Lapassionara:
Well, when you remember he can’t count past 10, …
NotMax
@John S.
Profiles in potage.
;)
RaflW
Since this is an open thread and is about Republican malfeasance, I have to say fuck you, Delta Airlines. I bought into the whole miles + credit card rigamarole (and live in a DL fortress hub city, so it’s sort of been a necessary evil to do so).
They have totally screwed the pooch on the Georgia voter suppression law. Absolutely infuriating.
This was a company that I believed was working hard to try to dismantle barriers to employment and advancement for POC in their business. But they’ve taken the worst both-sides approach to SB 202. Oh, they helped buff off the worst barbs of a still-extremely-racist law? They made the utterly unpalatable slightly less disgusting and think that’s good? Fuck. Them.
SiubhanDuinne
Taking a survey: Would “Homegrown Meth” be a good name for my next band?
raven
@SiubhanDuinne:
SiubhanDuinne
@NotMax:
So is Amazon.com
SiubhanDuinne
@raven:
So that’s a “yes”?
Jackie
Ted Cruz in camo makes Elmer Fudd look smart.
eponymous
@SiubhanDuinne:
That’s pretty good, but “Heckled By Cartels” is going to be my band name.
JPL
@debbie: haha I couldn’t tell if Sen. Lee was ready to laugh or cry. When Republicans sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems.
( must credit trump)
Mary G
They had cameras galore with them, but no record of the alleged heckling, so I call bullshit.
Ruckus
@John S.:
I’m not sure.
I think they are fapping about because their “leader” is totally incapable of even acting human and they are too stupid to find an actual human being to give them any structure whatsoever. It’s like watching a bunch of blindfolded kids playing pin the tail on anyone else.
Baud
@eponymous:
Sounds like a men’s cologne for fascists.
dmsilev
@trollhattan: You have to admit, ‘the horror, the horror’ is an entirely reasonable reaction to seeing a boat full of Republican Senators, including Ted Cruz, approaching.
Ruckus
@Jackie:
Little teddy always makes Elmer Fudd, look smart. Because that cartoon was/is smarter.
Bruce K in ATH-GR
@JPL:
Why? Most banks aren’t giving him credit any more. Why should we?
Delk
Low energy boat parade. SAD
Groucho48
@Lapassionara:
Yep. Photos or it didn’t happen.
Ruckus
@Mary G:
Pure, unadulterated bullshit is the only thing they know.
And the only thing they don’t know they know.
mrmoshpotato
I know the trash at Fox have no souls, but even they must be laughing at Shithead Ted. That screenshot, good lord!
Jackie
eponymous
@Baud:
The alliteration makes it!
NotMax
No one going to go with the obvious Ship of Fools?
mrmoshpotato
And Daines knows this from where – his dealer?
Baud
@mrmoshpotato:
His grandmother’s meth recipes.
mrmoshpotato
@NotMax: More like Ship of Seditious Shitpiles
tokyokie
@mrmoshpotato: Hey, have you ever walked the mean streets of Livingston at night like Danies has?
NotMax
@mrmoshpotato
3 hour Cruz?
mrmoshpotato
@tokyokie: Stop making excuses for his rumored meth habit.
NotMax
@tokyokie
I spent a month in Missoula one weekend.
raven
@tokyokie:
You got your Tony Lama’s on your jeans pressed tight
You take a few tokes make you feel alright
Rockin’ and a rollin’ on a Livingston Saturday Night
mrmoshpotato
@NotMax:
Is Shithead Ted trying to flee to Mexico again?
Poe Larity
Imagine someone leaking the boat lift to the cartels a day before, or giving them tours. Surely an attack on American Politicians would be outrageous.
mrmoshpotato
@John S.: And not even a so-bad-it’s-good parody.
mrmoshpotato
@Lapassionara: “What’s Spanish for ‘Shithead Ted,’ you Canadian bitchass?”
dexwood
Commodore Cruz and his mighty naval forces defending the shores of the United States from women and children. Thank you, Ted, I’ll sleep soundly and securely tonight because of you.
tokyokie
@raven: I was pretty sure somebody in this crowd would make that connection. I’ve always liked Rancho Deluxe.
debbie
And why at 1 am? To avoid any interaction with the refugees?
NotMax
@dexwood
Coming soon to RWNJ TV: Caravan Hunters.
//
Baud
@debbie:
That’s good. The refugees have been through enough.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: These chickenshits are probably scared of the refugees.
And those pictures of Shithead Ted – do I double over in laughter, or punch him in his disgusting, smarmy face?
dexwood
@NotMax: Hah, or Cartel Cruzers.
Suzanne
@mrmoshpotato: “Pendejo” works for every one of them. It’s evergreen.
tokyokie
How can Fled distinguish between the cartels heckling him and his constituents doing likewise?
John Revolta
“Georgetown. Shit. I’m still only in Georgetown.”
Delk
@NotMax: I went to a gay bar in Missoula. It was an American Legion Hall during the day.
Baud
Interestingly, “to cross” in Spanis h is cruzar.
Cruz el rio literally means “cross the river.”
SiubhanDuinne
O/T: Here in Atlanta, it’s just about an hour until sundown. So Chag Pesach Sameach to everyone who celebrates the Passover! Whatever form your Seder takes this year, I hope it’s a good one for you.
Can’t remember whether I found this video here or elsewhere, but if you missed it, enjoy — whatever you celebrate this weekend.
https://youtu.be/VQON0ipv6iI
Mike in NC
“Ted Cruz, America’s Seediest Senator” ?
raven
@Baud:
Many Rivers To Cross
Suzanne
Question: once one is two weeks out for vaccination, when is it okay to get a haircut or a wax? Asking for everyone who has to look at me.
dmsilev
@Suzanne: I got my hair trimmed about two weeks after my first dose. The ambient case levels around here were low enough and the mask conformity high enough that I felt safe doing that.
Steeplejack (phone)
Photo: GQP senators at the border.
Suzanne
@dmsilev: Our cases are going back up, though deaths are not.
I will be two weeks out from #2 next week. Spawn the Elder gets his first on April 8. YAAAAY!!!
JPL
@Suzanne: That should be fine.
rikyrah
???
CBS News (@CBSNews) Tweeted:
His mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. So he raised enough money to take her on the trip of a lifetime.
https://t.co/CvywLuAr85 https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/1375880240044634115?s=20
rikyrah
@Suzanne:
Yeah ?
Pete Downunder
OT: just in case you thought the US had a monopoly on morons, a guy here in Brisbane ordered to quarantine as a close contact of active Covid case held a house party with 25 guests. Massive testing and contact tracing now in progress.
rikyrah
@debbie:
Because they are bitch asses ??
rikyrah
@Pete Downunder:
????
debbie
@Suzanne:
Mask up.
rikyrah
@mrmoshpotato:
Folks have been going to town on this quote.
I am still wondering ???
Why he thought that folks would care about WHO made the METH ???
rikyrah
@raven:
I bet the setup is hilarious ?
Someone thought of the concept.
It’s very American ?
rikyrah
@debbie:
That goes without saying
fentook
@dmsilev: To be fair, a snail crawling on the edge of a razor blade is a fitting metaphor for GQP politicians.
bluehill
Schumer should figure out a way to reconvene the senate while those guys are off playing border patrol.
Anne Laurie
My guess is that Brave Ted is wearing a bulletproof vest under his shirt… because he doesn’t want the photogs to larf at him.
debbie
@Anne Laurie:
Imagine the heckling if that got out!
Mike in NC
@bluehill: Our tax dollars at work: CBP cosplay
WaterGirl
@debbie: That’s what twitter accounts are for, right?
“Did you see this photo of Ted Cruz wearing a bulletproof vest under his shirt? That’s why he looks even heavier than usual.”
Dorothy A. Winsor
I don’t understand that picture of Cruz at a chunk of border fence apparently pointing at something. What’s that supposed to be?
Mary G
Teen housemate’s mom has signed him up for the J&J vaccine after it opens up April 15th. The hardest nut to crack, her husband, will eventually get the Fauci Ouchie next month. Our nagging will overcome his fear of needles.
JPL
@rikyrah: Now I have to hunt for the tissues, cause my allergies are acting up.
thanks
debbie
Would a bulletproof vest really be that paunchy??? ?
craigie
So just to confirm – Ted Cruz is married to an actual human woman, is that right? And she bore his
childrenspawn, presumably on purpose?Truly, nature is unfathomable.
craigie
@Dorothy A. Winsor:
He’s pointing to his integrity, galloping away in the distance.
mrmoshpotato
@rikyrah: No clue. It’s definitely a weird thing to complain that Mexico is cooking up meth that should be American made!
Martin
Not shown, 2 miles upriver, tens of thousands of americans routinely cross into Mexico for the afternoon to fill their prescriptions.
WaterGirl
@craigie: I would have to disagree. I don’t think he would recognize integrity even if it slammed into him at a stoplight.
debbie
Oh, boy.
And then what?
CaseyL
Cruz looks like a guy who’s been sleeping on park benches and dumpster diving for food. Wonder if his family locked him out of the house.
burnspbesq
@mrmoshpotato:
Porque no los dos?
mrmoshpotato
@craigie:
You’re assuming he ever had any.
WaterGirl
@debbie:
Nothing good.
burnspbesq
@Pete Downunder:
I’ve always had the impression that Queensland is your version of Texas.
mrmoshpotato
@debbie: Drown himself in the Atlantic.
Who’s he not going to pay to take him to the US-Mexico border?
mrmoshpotato
@CaseyL: Hilariously, he still looks like shit with his hair combed and no hobo beard.
(No offense to hobos.)
mrmoshpotato
@burnspbesq: Let me see if I have any disposable gloves left, and yes, I will still wash my hands afterwards.
Ruckus
@WaterGirl:
Integrity is his kryptonite.
Only thing is that he never had any concept of integrity in any way, shape or form so he doesn’t know it’s his kryptonite. He does seem to have an anti-integrity gene, as every fiber of his being seems to repel integrity with the intensity of a lightning strike.
burnspbesq
@craigie:
Goldman partners are generally really smart and stinking rich. They get first pick in the spouse draft.
And she took Ted Cruz.
‘Something here does. Not. Compute.
craigie
@burnspbesq:
She lost a bet?
Central Planning
@Suzanne: I waited 4 weeks for a haircut after my second shot, but that was only because I cut my hair 4 days prior. I think two weeks is reasonable.
Frankensteinbeck
@rikyrah:
You know the answer to this: “Murderous brown drug dealers have infested our virtuous white neighborhoods, all because Democrats won’t shoot to kill.” He put it clumsily, but I’m confident his constituents understood his message.
chrome agnomen
@craigie: in that case he must be pointing at a distant galaxy, because that shit galloped away long, long ago.
Just One More Canuck
@debbie: We must close the meth gap
Mike in NC
@burnspbesq: Ted Cruz enjoys telling people he’s hung like a python, despite lack of evidence.
Steeplejack
@debbie:
Keep going.
Miss Bianca
@rikyrah:
I can’t fuckin’ believe it. I mean…*homegrown meth*? Are we supposed to feel outraged that Mexicans are taking our *drug-cooking jobs*?!
Tony Jay
All this says to me is that Trump really did break the the Republican Party. Decades of reducing every policy issue down to a toxic brew that could only appeal to the worst angels of the American psyche turned into a free-for-all griftathon that so hollowed out the Party’s institutional cohesiveness that a con-man like Trump was able to wedge his own brand of know-nothing obnoxiousness into the space between the propagandised masses and the machine that was supposed to be exploiting their stupidity and resentment for votes.
So now Republican politicians campaign to be the next Trump by doing shit like this, because who the hell needs to have a record of achievement when all the Party membership are looking for is the first candidate willing to stand on that Primary debate stage dressed in a red jacket and a pith-helmet while the battle-scene from Zulu plays on 100 feet screens behind them screaming “This! This is what I will do to them!“?
It’s only been a few weeks. They’re going to get worse.
sdhays
Daines fails to mention that the reason that the meth circulating in Montana now is from Mexico is because Montanans are selling their less pure meth to South Dakota.
PsiFighter37
@gwangung: It’s the only 2 who are pretending to be reasonable Republicans as well (Baker and Hogan). The rest of them don’t give a fuck because AAPI either threatens their electoral prospects (Georgia) or don’t have enough AAPI people to care (probably most of the flyover states).
Tony Jay
@Mike in NC:
Hangs with the Pythons, has the cool jacket and everything.
“Psst. Ted. It’s the Serpents, not the Pythons. The Serpents. Oh, get back in the fucking boat.“
Shana
@Lapassionara: I picture something like the french taunting in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. “your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries “ Or perhaps I have that backwards.
Bill Arnold
@RaflW:
I read the screencaps and it reads like a corporate communication saying that they help sand some of the rough edges off, the law is not as bad as the drafts, but there are still problems with the law. Nothing in that about praising voter suppression laws.
Since they probably knew it was going to be leaked no matter what, that suggests undo corporate caution about possible payback by vindictive Georgia Republicans. Dumb (from a corporate profit maximization point of view, not ethics) for them to say anything at all, IMO. Another piece:
https://viewfromthewing.com/delta-tells-employees-they-were-part-of-crafting-georgia-voting-restrictions-bill/
Villago Delenda Est
A wag on Twitter captioned the picture of them in the boat Full Metal Assholes.
Martin
When my kids were little (3-5) I’d take their stuffed animals and hide them around the house. They had a little explorers costume with a compass and safari hat and all that, and we’d turn out the lights and grab some flashlights and have a safari in the house. We’d crawl under the dining room table and when we’d spot a stuffed elephant, we’d freeze to make sure we didn’t startle it, and pull out an old digital camera and take some photos. We’d scout out a way around the elephant so we could crawl up the stairs. At one point we’d stop for a swig from our canteen and eat some raisins and cheerios for nourishment. We’d do this for hours. They loved it so much.
Nice to see Ted Cruz is upholding the tradition with the other members of the sedition caucus.
Gravenstone
@mrmoshpotato: I’m pretty sure that the argument Daines was trying to make was that the Mexican meth is more dangerous because it’s purer than the old homebrewed stuff. But man did he trip all over himself and his message if that’s the case.
Gravenstone
@debbie: Cross it and never come back?
Sister Golden Bear
@John S.: Col. Kurtz is even less likable in the remake.
Another Scott
@Martin: Excellent.
Cheers,
Scott.
BellyCat
@Martin:
LOVE the safari story.
(Father of 5 year old stealing this idea!)
BellyCat
@Gravenstone: “…and the damned Mexicans are making meth better than us! We need better import taxes to protect our ‘Murican jerbs!!1!”
Miss Bianca
@Gravenstone:
You…you managed to make some kind of *sense* out of that meth maundering. *Respect
Sebastian
Who paid for this trip? Are these senators on some committee for the interior? Why are Federal resources used for what is an obvious political stunt and who approved this?
Miss Bianca
@Martin: Man, if I were a Democrat in Washington right now, I’d be stealing that story and trotting it out myself at a press conference.
SFAW
@Suzanne:
Don’t YOU start with the QAnon bullshit. And that’s in the Suez (not the Cru-ez).
Enhanced Voting Techniques
I don’t think the later is intentional. It’s also, a useless clown around firearms/explosives/heavy machinery is a dangerous useless clown.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@SFAW: From what understand in Chines culture evergreen trees are symbols of purity, truthfulness and commitment, So that freighter is more than a bit hilariously ironically named.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
As in Ted Cruz strangles small animals by sitting on them before swallowing the alive. Why is that hard to accept?
SFAW
Technical question: “Private” Ron Johnson? On a boat? I mean, I guess there have been semi-amphibious “assaults” by soldiers and Marines, but …
WaterGirl
@Martin: Such a great story. Special memories all around, I’m sure.
RaflW
Saw a later photo when Ted had gotten pretty sweaty and a little greasy out on their Gormpocalyse Now tour, that he looks strikingly like a younger Fidel Castro in the tan shirt and quasi-military hat. Why is Teddy Cruz emulating a communist?
patrick II
To complete the Ted Cruz experience he should drape some bacon over that machine gun barrel.
artem1s
@RaflW:
his Zodiac suit was at the cleaners?
Chris T.
@Mike in NC: You mean he has two small hemipenes?
evodevo
@SiubhanDuinne:
Are those tefillin eyepatches?
evodevo
@Chris T.:
Good one!!
Denali
I’m so old I remember when we thought TFG was a joke. These guys will do anything to stay in the news.
Ksmiami
@RaflW: me too. I wrote them a long letter and will avoid Delta unless and until they offer something more than mealy mouthed babble
brantl
@Baud: That was EXCELLENT!
brantl
@trollhattan: Every time anybody writes TFG, I think “That Fucking Guy”. I just can’t help it…
brantl
@NotMax: That would be ship of Tools, actually.