Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Second rate reporter says what?

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

A dilettante blog from the great progressive state of West Virginia.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / GOP Death Cult Open Thread: Cosplay for Soft-Handed Xenophobes

GOP Death Cult Open Thread: Cosplay for Soft-Handed Xenophobes

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Ted Cruz, point man. He’s decided that negative attention is better than no attention at all…

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148Comments

  1. 1.

    NotMax

    Better fit here (posted downstairs as at the time that was the freshest thread).

    In place of the usual banner up top promoting a movie or program, today Prime video is displaying this message:

    “We stand in solidarity with Asian and Pacific Islander communities.”

  2. 2.

    John S.

    These fucking assholes are really a parody of themselves at this point. It’s amazing that anyone still takes them seriously when clearly they don’t even take themselves seriously.

  4. 4.

    dmsilev

    Not sure Apocalypse Now really needed an absurdist farce remake, but oh well I guess we have it.

  5. 5.

    Baud

    @John S.:

    They’ve honed the style of feeding the base red meat while making everyone else think they’re clowns and therefore not dangerous.

  11. 11.

    Lapassionara

    “Massive influx” and “countless women and children.” And “heckled by the cartel.” I really wish some reporter would ask them how many they saw and what did the hecklers say.

  12. 12.

    John S.

    @Baud: Red meat implies teeth are needed to consume it. This stuff is more like feeding the base meat purée that they can gum down without even having to chew.

  16. 16.

    tokyokie

    @Lapassionara: 

    “Massive influx” and “countless women and children.” And “heckled by the cartel.” I really wish some reporter would ask them how many they saw and what did the hecklers say.

    I believe that when Fled Cruz says “countless,” it means more than his number of fingers.

  19. 19.

    RaflW

    Since this is an open thread and is about Republican malfeasance, I have to say fuck you, Delta Airlines. I bought into the whole miles + credit card rigamarole (and live in a DL fortress hub city, so it’s sort of been a necessary evil to do so).

    They have totally screwed the pooch on the Georgia voter suppression law. Absolutely infuriating.

    This was a company that I believed was working hard to try to dismantle barriers to employment and advancement for POC in their business. But they’ve taken the worst both-sides approach to SB 202. Oh, they helped buff off the worst barbs of a still-extremely-racist law? They made the utterly unpalatable slightly less disgusting and think that’s good? Fuck. Them.

  21. 21.

    raven

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    More than 60 people were detained Friday evening after police raided what they’re calling a “drug superstore” operating out of a warehouse in South Fulton.

    The operation was set up like a normal business, officials said. But instead of browsing for clothes or shoes, customers could roam from vendor to vendor buying marijuana, THC edibles and prescription drugs, South Fulton Police Chief Keith Meadows told Channel 2 Action News.

     

  26. 26.

    JPL

    @debbie: haha    I couldn’t tell if Sen. Lee was ready to laugh or cry.   When Republicans sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems.

     

    ( must credit trump)

  27. 27.

    Mary G

    They had cameras galore with them, but no record of the alleged heckling, so I call bullshit.

  28. 28.

    Ruckus

    @John S.:

    I’m not sure.

    I think they are fapping about because their “leader” is totally incapable of even acting human and they are too stupid to find an actual human being to give them any structure whatsoever. It’s like watching a bunch of blindfolded kids playing pin the tail on anyone else.

  30. 30.

    dmsilev

    @trollhattan: You have to admit, ‘the horror, the horror’ is an entirely reasonable reaction to seeing a boat full of Republican Senators, including Ted Cruz, approaching.

  36. 36.

    mrmoshpotato

    I know the trash at Fox have no souls, but even they must be laughing at Shithead Ted.  That screenshot, good lord!

  40. 40.

    mrmoshpotato

    Sen. Steve Daines: “Twenty years ago in Montana, meth was homemade. It was homegrown. And you had purity levels less than 30%. Today the meth that is getting into Montana is Mexican cartel.”

    And Daines knows this from where – his dealer?

  49. 49.

    Poe Larity

    Imagine someone leaking the boat lift to the cartels a day before, or giving them tours. Surely an attack on American Politicians would be outrageous.

  52. 52.

    dexwood

    Commodore Cruz and his mighty naval forces defending the shores of the United States from women and children. Thank you, Ted, I’ll sleep soundly and securely tonight because of you.

  57. 57.

    mrmoshpotato

    @debbie: These chickenshits are probably scared of the refugees.

    And those pictures of Shithead Ted – do I double over in laughter, or punch him in his disgusting, smarmy face?

  60. 60.

    tokyokie

    How can Fled distinguish between the cartels heckling him and his constituents doing likewise?

  63. 63.

    Baud

    Interestingly, “to cross” in Spanis h is cruzar.

    Cruz el rio literally means “cross the river.”

  64. 64.

    SiubhanDuinne

    O/T: Here in Atlanta, it’s just about an hour until sundown. So Chag Pesach Sameach to everyone who celebrates the Passover! Whatever form your Seder takes this year, I hope it’s a good one for you.

    Can’t remember whether I found this video here or elsewhere, but if you missed it, enjoy — whatever you celebrate this weekend.

    https://youtu.be/VQON0ipv6iI

  67. 67.

    Suzanne

    Question: once one is two weeks out for vaccination, when is it okay to get a haircut or a wax? Asking for everyone who has to look at me.

  68. 68.

    dmsilev

    @Suzanne: I got my hair trimmed about two weeks after my first dose. The ambient case levels around here were low enough and the mask conformity high enough that I felt safe doing that.

  70. 70.

    Suzanne

    @dmsilev: Our cases are going back up, though deaths are not.

    I will be two weeks out from #2 next week. Spawn the Elder gets his first on April 8. YAAAAY!!!

  74. 74.

    Pete Downunder

    OT: just in case you thought the US had a monopoly on morons, a guy here in Brisbane ordered to quarantine as a close contact of active Covid case held a house party with 25 guests. Massive testing and contact tracing now in progress.

  82. 82.

    bluehill

    Schumer should figure out a way to reconvene the senate while those guys are off playing border patrol.

  83. 83.

    Anne Laurie

    @Cheryl Rofer: Cruz looked pretty paunchy on his trip to Cancun to get away from freezing Texans, but he looks like he’s put on twenty pounds since then.

    My guess is that Brave Ted is wearing a bulletproof vest under his shirt… because he doesn’t want the photogs to larf at him.

  86. 86.

    WaterGirl

    @debbie: That’s what twitter accounts are for, right?

    “Did you see this photo of Ted Cruz wearing a bulletproof vest under his shirt?  That’s why he looks even heavier than usual.”

  88. 88.

    Mary G

    Teen housemate’s mom has signed him up for the J&J vaccine after it opens up April 15th. The hardest nut to crack, her husband, will eventually get the Fauci Ouchie next month. Our nagging will overcome his fear of needles.

  91. 91.

    craigie

    So just to confirm – Ted Cruz is married to an actual human woman, is that right? And she bore his children spawn, presumably on purpose?

    Truly, nature is unfathomable.

  93. 93.

    mrmoshpotato

    @rikyrah: No clue.  It’s definitely a weird thing to complain that Mexico is cooking up meth that should be American made!

  94. 94.

    Martin

    Not shown, 2 miles upriver, tens of thousands of americans routinely cross into Mexico for the afternoon to fill their prescriptions.

  97. 97.

    CaseyL

    Cruz looks like a guy who’s been sleeping on park benches and dumpster diving for food.  Wonder if his family locked him out of the house.

  105. 105.

    Ruckus

    @WaterGirl:

    Integrity is his kryptonite.

    Only thing is that he never had any concept of integrity in any way, shape or form so he doesn’t know it’s his kryptonite. He does seem to have an anti-integrity gene, as every fiber of his being seems to repel integrity with the intensity of a lightning strike.

  106. 106.

    burnspbesq

    @craigie:

    Goldman partners are generally really smart and stinking rich. They get first pick in the spouse draft.

    And she took Ted Cruz.

    ‘Something here does. Not. Compute.

  108. 108.

    Central Planning

    @Suzanne: I waited 4 weeks for a haircut after my second shot, but that was only because I cut my hair 4 days prior. I think two weeks is reasonable.

  109. 109.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @rikyrah:

    Why he thought that folks would care about WHO made the METH

    You know the answer to this:  “Murderous brown drug dealers have infested our virtuous white neighborhoods, all because Democrats won’t shoot to kill.”  He put it clumsily, but I’m confident his constituents understood his message.

  114. 114.

    Miss Bianca

    @rikyrah:

    I can’t fuckin’ believe it. I mean…*homegrown meth*? Are we supposed to feel outraged that Mexicans are taking our *drug-cooking jobs*?!

  115. 115.

    Tony Jay

    All this says to me is that Trump really did break the the Republican Party. Decades of reducing every policy issue down to a toxic brew that could only appeal to the worst angels of the American psyche turned into a free-for-all griftathon that so hollowed out the Party’s institutional cohesiveness that a con-man like Trump was able to wedge his own brand of know-nothing obnoxiousness into the space between the propagandised masses and the machine that was supposed to be exploiting their stupidity and resentment for votes.

    So now Republican politicians campaign to be the next Trump by doing shit like this, because who the hell needs to have a record of achievement when all the Party membership are looking for is the first candidate willing to stand on that Primary debate stage dressed in a red jacket and a pith-helmet while the battle-scene from Zulu plays on 100 feet screens behind them screaming “This! This is what I will do to them!“?

    It’s only been a few weeks. They’re going to get worse.

  116. 116.

    sdhays

    Daines fails to mention that the reason that the meth circulating in Montana now is from Mexico is because Montanans are selling their less pure meth to South Dakota.

  117. 117.

    PsiFighter37

    @gwangung:  It’s the only 2 who are pretending to be reasonable Republicans as well (Baker and Hogan). The rest of them don’t give a fuck because AAPI either threatens their electoral prospects (Georgia) or don’t have enough AAPI people to care (probably most of the flyover states).

  118. 118.

    Tony Jay

    @Mike in NC:

    Ted Cruz enjoys telling people he’s hung like a python, despite lack of evidence.

    Hangs with the Pythons, has the cool jacket and everything.

    “Psst. Ted. It’s the Serpents, not the Pythons. The Serpents. Oh, get back in the fucking boat.“

  119. 119.

    Shana

    @Lapassionara: I picture something like the french taunting in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. “your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries “ Or perhaps I have that backwards.

  120. 120.

    Bill Arnold

    @RaflW:

    Since this is an open thread and is about Republican malfeasance, I have to say fuck you, Delta Airlines.

    I read the screencaps and it reads like a corporate communication saying that they help sand some of the rough edges off, the law is not as bad as the drafts, but there are still problems with the law. Nothing in that about praising voter suppression laws.
    Since they probably knew it was going to be leaked no matter what, that suggests undo corporate caution about possible payback by vindictive Georgia Republicans. Dumb (from a corporate profit maximization point of view, not ethics) for them to say anything at all, IMO. Another piece:
    https://viewfromthewing.com/delta-tells-employees-they-were-part-of-crafting-georgia-voting-restrictions-bill/

  121. 121.

    Villago Delenda Est

    A wag on Twitter captioned the picture of them in the boat Full Metal Assholes.

  122. 122.

    Martin

    When my kids were little (3-5) I’d take their stuffed animals and hide them around the house. They had a little explorers costume with a compass and safari hat and all that, and we’d turn out the lights and grab some flashlights and have a safari in the house. We’d crawl under the dining room table and when we’d spot a stuffed elephant, we’d freeze to make sure we didn’t startle it, and pull out an old digital camera and take some photos. We’d scout out a way around the elephant so we could crawl up the stairs. At one point we’d stop for a swig from our canteen and eat some raisins and cheerios for nourishment. We’d do this for hours. They loved it so much.

    Nice to see Ted Cruz is upholding the tradition with the other members of the sedition caucus.

  123. 123.

    Gravenstone

    @mrmoshpotato: I’m pretty sure that the argument Daines was trying to make was that the Mexican meth is more dangerous because it’s purer than the old homebrewed stuff. But man did he trip all over himself and his message if that’s the case.

  130. 130.

    Sebastian

    Who paid for this trip? Are these senators on some committee for the interior? Why are Federal resources used for what is an obvious political stunt and who approved this?

  131. 131.

    Miss Bianca

    @Martin: Man, if I were a Democrat in Washington right now, I’d be stealing that story and trotting it out myself at a press conference.

  133. 133.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @Baud: They’ve honed the style of feeding the base red meat while making everyone else think they’re clowns and therefore not dangerous.

    I don’t think the later is intentional.  It’s also, a useless clown around firearms/explosives/heavy machinery is a dangerous useless clown.

  134. 134.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @SFAW: From what understand in Chines culture evergreen trees are symbols of purity, truthfulness and commitment,  So that freighter is more than a bit hilariously ironically named.

  135. 135.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @Mike in NC: Ted Cruz enjoys telling people he’s hung like a python, despite lack of evidence.

    As in Ted Cruz strangles small animals by sitting on them before swallowing the alive. Why is that hard to accept?

  136. 136.

    SFAW

    Technical question: “Private” Ron Johnson? On a boat? I mean, I guess there have been semi-amphibious “assaults” by soldiers and Marines, but …

  138. 138.

    RaflW

    Saw a later photo when Ted had gotten pretty sweaty and a little greasy out on their Gormpocalyse Now tour, that he looks strikingly like a younger Fidel Castro in the tan shirt and quasi-military hat. Why is Teddy Cruz emulating a communist?

  139. 139.

    patrick II

    To complete the Ted Cruz experience he should drape some bacon over that machine gun barrel.

  144. 144.

    Denali

    I’m so old I remember when we thought TFG was a joke. These guys will do anything to stay in the news.

  145. 145.

    Ksmiami

    @RaflW: me too. I wrote them a long letter and will avoid Delta unless and until they offer something more than mealy mouthed babble

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