Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

If marriage is the equivalent of selling yourself into slavery, women with self respect should reject the offer.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

The choice is between normal and crazy.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

Fight them, without becoming them!

Even though I know this is a bad idea, I’m off to do it anyway!

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Putin dreamed of ending NATO, and now it’s Finnish-ed.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

I desperately hope that, yet again, I am wrong.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Books are my comfort food!

It’s not hopeless, and we’re not helpless.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

You are here: Home / Politics / GOP Death Cult / Late Night Creepshow Open Thread: GQP Masks Off

Late Night Creepshow Open Thread: GQP Masks Off

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Maybe I’m projecting, but in this clip, Minority Leader McConnell is not looking good physically, either. This is an old man who’s recently gotten some nasty news from his health care provider, looks to me.

Very glad that President Biden, may his shadow never grow less, and the other Democrats are giving him so much agita.

Don’t you try to tell me what I should do, and incidentally I hope your quarterly contribution has been deposited…

Another simple-minded late-night joke… All women eventually turn into their mothers, and all politicians eventually turn into their philosophical fathers:

Reader Interactions

61Comments

  3. 3.

    Ruckus

    I wonder if those corps who did donate feel they have a right to comment and do with their donations as they please and as their customers act and feel and that they might just have a few words for mitch, like “Fuck Off Asshole.” I’d bet some of those corps know that if they’ve given money to conservative politicians and issues, that a lot of liberal people might just boycott their products. Even if they’ve donated to liberal politics and issues equally. And that conservative donation might end up being one more place not to spend money but to pay it to shareholders.

  4. 4.

    Ruckus

    @phdesmond:

    Well let’s see, the beard, the clothes, even the way he holds his mouth. His beard is more ragged than Fidel’s was but then it is little teddy.

  6. 6.

    brendancalling

    @Comrade Colette: Fidel + Krispy Kreme + a wet fart.

    Without the faint-yet-oh-so-pungent aroma of a wet fart and flop sweat, it’s not truly Ted Cruz

    oh, adding—Friday makes one year and one month since I’ve seen my kid in person because of the pandemic.

  7. 7.

    Amir Khalid

    Mitch: When corporations give your party the big bucks, you are beholden to them; not they to you. Whn these corporations disagree with you, you cannot demand that they shut up and keep sending you money: that is biting the hand that feeds you.

    You’ve been in politics for a while, you must know this.

  8. 8.

    Beautifulplumage

    Are we supposed to be getting ads in the middle of the posts? X2? So hard to read on my phone right now. Arg

  9. 9.

    Beautifulplumage

    Did someone spike a recent GQP event with a truth serum? Seems like they’re all saying the quiet parts out loud.

  10. 10.

    West of the Rockies

    @Amir Khalid:

    Yes, true.  As a not-so-great man once said, “Corporations are people, too, my friend.”  According to Romney, they can express all manner of opinions.

    Also, I don’t know, McConnell looks his normal pink and sweaty self.  What are you seeing, AL, that makes you wonder about his health?  He is a fairly run-down 77, I think.

  12. 12.

    Ruckus

    And Anne, I’d agree that mitch looks rather, how shall we say, not well. Now he has polio and from others I know a few years younger than him, it can catch up with again you as you age. Now polio is not a single area affecting disease, people had lower leg(s), lungs, and I recall that mitch’s is upper leg, my neighbor’s is lower leg and both people I know who had breathing issues had iron lungs in their living rooms. Some who recovered well at a young age will have issues later in life, as has happened to my neighbor who is wheelchair bound, and possibly to mitch.

  14. 14.

    burnspbesq

    It would be interesting to see a shareholder sue a CEO for breach of fiduciary duty for authorizing political contributions. I’d love to hear the defendant explain how that expenditure is in the shareholders’ best interests.

    Yo, CALPERS and the Harvard University endowment, you listening?

  15. 15.

    Ruckus

    @phdesmond:

    I’ve seen pics where his beard wasn’t as full. As many of us do, our hair thins out (to say the least) and our beards do as well. My beard used to be far fuller/thicker than it is now and I actually used to have a lot of hair above my ears. Oh well, it’s not the worst thing in the world. Here is the Wiki page for Fidel and the picture is from 1959 and his beard looks far less filled out and is an example of what I was thinking.

  17. 17.

    Mary G

    I agree that Yertle has serious health issues, showing up especially in the second video. He seems slightly shrunken, like he’s lost weight in a bad way, and his color is worse than usual. He’s out in the world in that one; the first one is set up by his people with much more flattering lighting and probably some makeup.

     

    @Ruckus: That’s me. The only way they knew I had polio as a toddler was from spinal taps looking for other things, but as I age my legs are not happy campers.

  18. 18.

    Ruckus

    @Amir Khalid:

    I believe that mitch might have lost the plot here, what with him winning elections overwhelmingly while he polls well below that in KY consistently and having a rather oversized and over zealous concept of his worth to humanity.

  19. 19.

    SFAW

    I’m assuming the “I’m not talking about political contributions” line in Ognanovich’s tweet is a joke. Because if he really said that … wow.

  21. 21.

    SFAW

    @burnspbesq:

    I’d love to hear the defendant explain how that expenditure is in the shareholders’ best interests.

    I don’t think it’s that hard. Hell, I could do it, and I’m not particularly savvy. “Our contributions are part of our responsibility to try to ensure that laws enacted are not harmful to our corporation’s various businesses, thus increasing shareholder value.” Of course, I don’t know if there are governing laws proscribing those activities, given Citizens United.

  22. 22.

    mrmoshpotato

    Fuck Moscow Mitch – the turtle-faced, fascist motherfucker – into the Sun.

  23. 23.

    Ruckus

    @Mary G:

    Sorry about that.

    I grew up with a girl that had both legs in braces and used crutches till  after HS. She showed up at our 10 yr reunion with no braces, no crutches and walked into the reunion as if she owned the place. She was sort of a hero to me, someone who could put up with the asshole bullies who made fun of anyone not “normal,” like me, being so small, or her with polio. I lost a good friend in the 4th grade because he made fun of my size all the time and finally I kicked his ass for it. She couldn’t do that, she had to learn to take it.

  27. 27.

    SFAW

    @Ruckus:

    I lost a good friend in the 4th grade because he made fun of my size all the time and finally I kicked his ass for it.

    I had a frat brother classmate who was small during much of his adolescence. Because he was also fucking smart, he got bullied a lot. He grew a foot or more in late high school — he was six feet, about 190 when I met him — and the story was that he got back at the bullies. I liked him, but he could be a mean prick at times. [I don’t get the sense that you turned out similarly, fortunately.]

  29. 29.

    Ruckus

    I left this comment in a morning thread today. I think it’s appropriate here as well.

    I’m always reminded of the picture of Mitch in front of that huge stars and bars flag, shaking hands.

    He is a racist fuck, along with all his other conservative crap and his abuse of power.

  30. 30.

    JWR

    And here I was thinking that our resident SoCal racists had finally figured out that A) We’re tired of their idiotic stunts, B) We really hate people like them, and C) Dude, you’re about to lose your jerb! Silly me.

    Jamba Juice ‘Karen’ melts down when he’s kicked out—then yells every right-wing conspiracy theory

    Yet another so-called “Karen” has gone viral on Reddit after staff at a Jamba Juice refused to serve him without a mask, per Fox 11. A cell phone video shows a man, after being told to leave a Los Angeles Jamba Juice, spewing racist, radical conspiracy theories to bystanders.

  31. 31.

    Ruckus

    @SFAW:

    I grew over well over 6 inches after sophomore year HS. And I’m not quite 5’11”

    It was way more than 6 inches, I was just 5 ft tall in at the start of ninth grade. That was when I passed my older sister who was 18 and never made it over 4’11”.

    That was the only fight I’ve ever been in, although as I told here once, I attended an all boys, catholic technical HS for one year. I’m not catholic and there were maybe 4 of us out of about 400. Fathers and Brothers ran the place and lived in the seminar next door. Second week we had an assembly in the auditorium/chapel, each freshman class was told to select the smallest boy to go up on the stage. Yep, I was selected overwhelmingly. I told them to fuck off (I learned to swear at a young age…) that if I stood up I was walking out the front door and I would be flipping them off the entire way, I would walk to where we boarded the buses and would wait till they came and I would never set foot here again. I was small, I wasn’t shy. They sent another kid. And guess what, the rest of the school made fun of the smallest kid to go up on stage. I was pissed and I made that known. At least no one screwed with me..

  32. 32.

    Joe Falco

    Mitch knows his time is coming soon. That’s why it was so pressing for Kentucky Republicans to strip away the governor’s authority to choose Mitch’s replacement should the turtle shuffle off this mortal coil or be forced to step down due to medical reasons. By hook or by crook, Republicans will maintain their stranglehold on American politics. The Grim Reaper can’t come fast enough to claim Moscow Mitch. *spits

  37. 37.

    trnc

    @West of the Rockies: As a not-so-great man once said, “Corporations are people, too, my friend.” According to Romney, they can express all manner of opinions.

    Romney is considered a traitor by republicans, so they don’t care what he said. On the other hand, perhaps an enterprising journalist or two or five could ask republicans why Mitch fought so hard for corporate dollars to count as speech and for corporate words not to.

  38. 38.

    Debbie(Aussie)

    Why do these obscenely wealthy men/women in congress not retire to enjoy their lives, their children/grandchildren. I really don’t understand this. Power must be extraordinarily addictive.

  39. 39.

    mrmoshpotato

    @trnc:

    On the other hand, perhaps an enterprising journalist or two or five could ask republicans why Mitch fought so hard for corporate dollars to count as speech and for corporate words not to. 

    Oh man!  The bullshit that would come out of Moscow Mitch’s mouth trying to evade correctly* answering that question!

    *We all know what the correct answer is.

  41. 41.

    Morzer

    Mitch’s rouge seems to have been applied by the same poor fool with a trowel who applied Rudy’s hair dye. Either that or he’s running a thermonuclear fever.

  42. 42.

    Xenos

    These reactionaries hate it when you go after their clientalist politics and start breaking their patronage relationships. Cancel culture whining tells us they know they are losing.

  46. 46.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Achrachno: ​

    It’d be terrible if his health suddenly deteriorated. What would we do without his leadership?

    Dance in the streets, since KY Gov. Andy Beshear, a Democrat, would get to appoint his replacement.
    And as is the case in most states, there’s no requirement that the governor choose a replacement from the same party.​

  50. 50.

    Kathleen

    @Frank Wilhoit: KY GOP hates him. You’ve got to be weapons grade awful Rethuglican if KY GOP hates you. Not to say it couldn’t happen. I’m thinking more Cameron.

  51. 51.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @lowtechcyclist:

    Regrettably, the General Assembly just overrode his veto on a new piece of legislation where he is now obligated on selecting the least bad among three names to be submitted by our shitty , gerrymandered legislature.

  52. 52.

    sab

    @Ruckus: My brother had a friend who was 5’2″ all through high school and most of college. His sisters were huge. Then in grad school he shot up. 6’5″ last I saw him.

  53. 53.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Ruckus: One of my closest friends for the last going on 54 years (we met in the freshman registration line at Johns Hopkins) is a polio survivor. He got on quite reasonably on an affected leg until post-polio muscle atrophy caught up with him in the last decade. Now in disability-friendly housing in Santa Fe, he gets around by means of a massive motorized wheelchair-on-steroids. (The last time I visited he warned me not to stand too close behind him – “if I back up suddenly one of the wheels may break your foot.”)

    That Yertle McTurtle is still mobile and causing harm to millions while Philip is shackled to his Indispensable Earth-rover is a fact that pisses me off every waking day.​

  54. 54.

    Chris Johnson

    @Debbie(Aussie):

    That or, Putin can send someone to kill him no matter how far away he runs. (or at least, he has reason to believe that)

    I still think Putin’s real operational assets were guys like Epstein and McConnell and Paul Ryan. Trump was a wrecking ball, not trusted with anything, and the real work was being done by smarter, eviler people. And not out of the goodness of their hearts: it’s gonna be a carrot-and-stick situation.

    They have to prove they can do the work, as Epstein did for many years. If McConnell can’t deliver anymore, he’s in real trouble.

  56. 56.

    JML

    If/when Moscow Mitch finally goes that’s going to be the real potential fracture point for the GOP. Mitch is a horrible troll, a disgusting excuse for a human being, but he’s not stupid and he knows all of the parliamentary tricks of the Senate, as well as how to distribute cash & favors to keep his caucus united. What are the odds that anyone else in that collection of hacks even has a chance of pulling that off with bandits like Hawley, Cruz, Paul, Rubio et al constantly running around? The competent ones are pushed out to the fringes, much like what has happened in the House.

    I’ll be readying the popcorn.

  57. 57.

    J R in WV

    I’ve worked up quite a hatred for the despicable fascist theocratic racists currently running the Republican GQP Party.

    They stand for everything America was founded to oppose! They are the spiritual descendants (if not literally descendants) of those evil American Fascists who stood up openly for Hitler and Germany until December 11th, the day when Hitler declared war upon the US.

    Also some are hirelings of Putin, who tells them what to support and what to oppose — witness the Senate members who spent 4th of July in Moscow!

    Mitch might be doing his racist Nazi gig just for fun, hard to tell without a long interview with a trained interviewer. But judging from his background it seems like the sort of thing that would give him a tingle up his leg!

  58. 58.

    Mike in Pasadena

    McConnell: corporations shouldd stay out of politics, but we still want the  MONEY. The guy is without shame..

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