Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Roe is not about choice. It is about freedom.

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

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Monday Morning Open Thread: Another Week, Another Chance

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Monday Morning Open Thread: Another Week, Another Chance

(Mike Luckovich via GoComics.com)

Reader Interactions

134Comments

  1. 1.

    debbie

    The fact that T**** refers to Biden as “sainted” (as opposed to “sleepy” or “lazy”) fills my heart with such joy!

  2. 2.

    p.a.

    MSM: competence and decency are booooorrrriing?

     

    ETA: NOT FRIST.  2ND!  Remember Avis: “we try harder”?

  4. 4.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @p.a.:  In multiple languages! My Latin teacher got us all buttons with “Fortius conamur” from Avis.

  5. 5.

    Baud

    Biden White House puts its police oversight commission on ice

    The president promised one during his campaign. But civil rights groups and police union reps both said it wasn’t necessary.

    ….
    Before coming to the decision, the White House said it consulted with national civil rights organizations and police unions. Both entities made clear to the administration that they thought a commission was not necessary and likely redundant.

  7. 7.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    That video of the kids cheering actually made me tearful. She’s so clearly moved.

    So Trump called Biden “sainted”? I haven’t been able to bring myself to read any of his remarks so I’m guessing that’s in what he said to the Rs paying him to eat in his crappy resort?

  8. 8.

    Baud

    They should televise the training.

    Major Biden to get training after two biting incidents

    I also love that the story gives the dog the family name.

  15. 15.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Baud: Competence. President Biden doesn’t need to be flashy. He’s getting things done which is all that matters.

  19. 19.

    rikyrah

    More than 100 corporate leaders gathered to discuss taking new action to combat Republican voting bills being considered across the U.S., including Georgia's.The meeting was just days after McConnell threatened corporations to "stay out of politics." https://t.co/zp1b8Cnvdb— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) April 12, 2021

  20. 20.

    sanjeevs

    Senator Cornyn is upset we have a President who doesnt spend the day shitkicking on Twitter.

    The president is not doing cable news interviews. Tweets from his account are limited and, when they come, unimaginably conventional. The public comments are largely scripted. Biden has opted for fewer sit down interviews with mainstream outlets and reporters

  21. 21.

    Gin & Tonic

    @sanjeevs: I, for one, am delighted that Biden is focusing on the work and not the “optics” (God, how I hate that word.) I couldn’t take another 4 years of waking up every day in dread at what TFG might have Tweeted overnight.

  22. 22.

    rikyrah

    Biden’s legislation will be more impactful and long lasting because they’re accurately treating gop criticism like the gusher of bad faith it is.— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 12, 2021

  26. 26.

    Nicole

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: You’re correct; the “sainted” comment is from his airing of the grievances to the GOPers who went to MaL to lick his boots. Heh.

    The wheels of Justice turn slowly, and I suspect it would be better for the nation if his lifestyle habits catch up with his health before 2024, so while I resent thinking here’s another terrible human being who will spend his whole life not facing consequences for the many illegal things he’s done because he was born rich, I am very satisfied to think he’ll spend his remaining time burbling over with resentment that people like Joe Biden more than they do him. And while we’re gnashing our teeth that the media is desperate for a Biden scandal, he’s clearly seeing the media as fawning over Biden. Good. He can let that eat at him, too.

  27. 27.

    NotMax

    As respite, a pause to briefly sojourn back to 1873 and glance at but a few of the scads of life coaching lessons contained within The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness. #1 — #2 — #3

    ;)

  31. 31.

    Immanentize

    @NotMax: “… unless you wish to be taken for a fifth rate comedian.”

    Still good advice.

    Eta link #3 not working.

  34. 34.

    Kay

    @Immanentize:

    People were supposed to hate Biden and love Donald Trump. So unfair.

    It is genuinely like listening to a poorly raised, over indulged 10 year old.

  35. 35.

    Immanentize

    @rikyrah: As of Wednesday, I will be fully inducted into House Pfizer.  Looking forward to finding out whether I actually feel any different….  Shot one didn’t do anything for my outlook on the state of humanity.

  37. 37.

    Nelle

    @Patricia Kayden: in the book, Caste, the author discusses canine hierarchy.  She notes that the true alpha dog rules through quiet calm and confidence.  I was thinking of Biden the whole chapter..and the utter fake alpha display by TFG.

  38. 38.

    Nicole

    @Immanentize:

    Shot one didn’t do anything for my outlook on the state of humanity.

    Shot two has some updates that fix the bugs in the 5G chip. I was pleased.

  39. 39.

    Geminid

    @Amir Khalid: trump was trying to be sarcastic when he called Biden “sainted, but he seemed whiny and passive aggressive.

    I was interested to see the way trump focused his animus on other Republicans, tearing into various leaders, including McConnell. He had just complained that while Democrats are united, Republicans are not.

  40. 40.

    Immanentize

    @Kay: my FiL is now receiving home hospice assistance.  My BiL lives with him and has for years — even before my MiL died.  My BiL is super resentful that every last little detail wasn’t perfectly wrapped up before his Dad got rather suddenly (right after the big Texas freeze) too sick to do really anything.  He has described it as “the most disrespectful, shitty thing ever done” to him.

    When he said that, all I could imagine was Trump saying it with his little chopping gestures.  It made it all more bearable.

  43. 43.

    NotMax

    Life stays true to form. Appointment for shot the first this afternoon, so which is the only day this week for which the forecast is thunderstorms? Today.

    Snow yesterday here atop Haleakala. In April.

  45. 45.

    Immanentize

    @NotMax: It is interesting that the book begins! with don’t talk about politics or religion….

    I imagine Israel would never be mentioned again.

  50. 50.

    Immanentize

    @rikyrah: hi!!

    Yes, the Immp (as I call him) has the double Moderna in him.  Both shots knocked him down for a couple of days.  It was completely luck during the Texas freeze -+ power went out in Houston, a number of minus 80 freezers went offline so they had to get the doses out to where a lot of people were congregated who didn’t need to drive the dangerous roads.  College campus!

    I am so relieved as Houston is still variant hot to this day.

  51. 51.

    Soprano2

    @rikyrah: You can tell that they feel that. They despise the competence.

    Yep, competence and getting good stuff done isn’t fun like covering Trump was. I think they like the results of the Biden administration, but they hate covering it and are doing everything they can to stir up controversy and scandal where none exists.

  54. 54.

    Nicole

    @Kay:

    It is genuinely like listening to a poorly raised, over indulged 10 year old.

    Certainly one whose parents never gave him any genuine affection.  I was reading about Tucker Carlson going full replacement theory on his show this past week, and thought, “Here’s another guy who grew up a rich kid who’s a total asshole.  Where’s the trauma?”  And I googled, and lo and behold, his mom walked out on the family when he was six and he never saw her again.  His money is from his dad marrying his stepmom.  To this day he (publicly) brushes it off as as something that he doesn’t talk about because it “wasn’t a big part of his life.”  Uh huh.  Your a-hole behavior says different, Little Tuckie.

    So many of these jackasses are taking out their feelings of insecurity and desperate need to believe they’re good enough (since clearly they weren’t to their own parents) on the entire nation.  It’s exhausting.

  56. 56.

    Soprano2

    @Kay: The only kind of humor he does- the bitter, self-pitying kind.

    This is the kind of humor all conservatives seem to do. It’s why there are no successful conservative comedians.

  57. 57.

    Baud

    @Nicole:

    I was reading about Tucker Carlson going full replacement theory on his show this past week, and thought, “Here’s another guy who grew up a rich kid who’s a total asshole.  Where’s the trauma?” “He’s the poster child for the fictional movement to replace white people.”

  58. 58.

    Soprano2

    @NotMax: My stepson who lives in Paia found a wallet yesterday with $900 in it and no ID at all. I can’t believe someone was walking around with a wallet with no I.D. He says he’s going to give it all away doing good deeds, he’s like that. We told him his good deeds came back to him; a guy paid him back $100 last week, so he gave some kids behind him in line who were talking about wanting something but didn’t have the money for it $20. I wish it worked like that.

  60. 60.

    NotMax

    @Immanentize

    Yup yup. When I stumbled upon the tome and noticed that whilst idly paging through it, said to myself, “Self, this might be worth sharing on Balloon Juice.”

    “Fifth rate comedian” sealed the deal.

    May be read in its entirety here.

  61. 61.

    Kay

    @Nicole:

    Certainly one whose parents never gave him any genuine affection.

    It was written about at the time but I still think the dynamic between Trump/Republicans and Biden (alone, in his personal capacity) re: Hunter Biden was really profound. Biden was supposed to be ashamed of Hunter and when he didn’t go along their whole strategy collapsed.
    Being a father was absolutely central to Obama’s public identity too, which is interesting and opposite what the conventional wisdom says about Democrats.

  65. 65.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Immanentize:

    “Because if we talk about politics or religion in polite society, questions can arise as to the actual social value of monarchy, divine right, colonialism and the universality of the voting franchise, thus allowing opinions to form. It is far better to engage in meaningless chatter and idle gossip about peer holdings….”

  66. 66.

    Nicole

    @Kay:

    Biden was supposed to be ashamed of Hunter and when he didn’t go along their whole strategy collapsed.

    They’re such projectors- they spend their lives feeling that they are disappointments to their parents (and being crappy fathers themselves) that they assume everyone must be disappointed in their own children.

    That moment in the debate when Biden took the criticism of Hunter that Trump was flinging at him, looked straight in the camera and used it to connect with other viewers who have dealt with addiction in their own families was one of the most astute things I’ve ever seen a politician do in a debate.  All the more because it was unplanned and came off completely honest and open.  I literally watched Trump shrink in on himself right after.  It was beautiful.

  67. 67.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    Or, stated another way, forced civility is where needed economic and political change goes to die.

  69. 69.

    Nicole

    @Frank Wilhoit:

    We got where we are by letting people off the hook.  Justice must be seen to be done.

    I totally agree with you; I’m just cynical that it will happen.  In the case of Trump, he well may end up paying a lot of fines, but I don’t know if he’ll live long enough to see jail time.  So I find my comfort in how desperately unhappy he is.  He’s going to be raging over losing the election for the rest of his life because he lost the biggest contest in the country (for that matter, he only won the first time because of a governing system put in place for people born rich, like him).

  70. 70.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Baud:

    “Now is not the time to discuss this, temperatures running so hot…”

  74. 74.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Soprano2:

    This is the kind of humor all conservatives seem to do.

    I  have learned that one reason people laugh is from joy rather than simply comedy.  This seems to be at the center of conservative humor.  They are taking joy in saying or doing something cruel, while pretending they don’t mean it.

  75. 75.

    debbie

    Glenn Beck is having a cow and accusing the corporations on that Saturday zoom call of BLACKMAIL! ???

    Dejoy will be having a cow because he’s telling people to start using USPS instead of UPS (who was on the call).

  76. 76.

    Just One More Canuck

    @Nicole: “To this day he (publicly) brushes it off as as something that he doesn’t talk about because it “wasn’t a big part of his life.”  Uh huh.  Your a-hole behavior says different, Little Tuckie.”

    Maybe it wasn’t a big part of his life.  Maybe he was always an asshole even when he was a kid

  79. 79.

    Betty Cracker

    @sanjeevs: OMG, I saw that on Twitter a while ago and was gob-smacked — Biden is “conventional” on Twitter, “scripted” in public appearances and not in our faces on cable TV all the time? The horror!

    The thread in which that idiotic quote appears goes on to reinforce the wingnut media meme about Biden being a Trojan horse who is secretly controlled by — who is it this week? AOC? Harris? Obama? But even if you accept that dumb premise as the gospel truth, Cornyn’s point fails. I’ll take a Trojan horse who produces results and allows us live our lives in peace any day of the week over the incompetent and malevolent chaos agent Former Guy.

  80. 80.

    Geminid

    @Nicole: trump has civil lawsuits including E. Jean Carroll’s libel suit to fight. And I think those injured in the Jan.6 insurrection will sue him, much as attorney Robbie Kaplan sued organizers of the 2017 Charlottesville Unite the Right rally on behalf of those injured in the car attack that injured Heather Heyer. That action is scheduled for trial this December.

    As far as criminal liability, trump may face many counts related to tax fraud. And I think the Justice Department won’t have to go out it’s way for grand juries to deliver indictments for money laundering across several states where trump’s properties are located. And there is the Fulton County, Georgia election tampering matter, plus who knows what else.

    Trump may never go to prison, and if he does, it will take years, as his attorneys will drag these cases out as long as possible. But he will be in the news a lot, and not in a good way. When the stories aren’t about developments in criminal and civil actions, they’ll be about a cash-srapped trump sellinh

  84. 84.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: ​
      Because your niece’s fifth birthday party is the place to lecture all and sundry about politics. After all, that Barbie she just got is a representation of our patriarchal and materialist society. What kind of example is Cousin Mary setting by buying such a thing.

  88. 88.

    JML

    @Kay: Trump only sees through his own lens; he was ashamed of addiction in his own family, saw it as disgusting and weak. Of course he would expect others to see it that way, to think that you should ostracize anyone with that affliction, and that not shunning anyone struggling with addiction would harm them politically. Classic narcissism.

    Biden’s compassion has always been one of his defining characteristics and it shows his good heart. Part of me always saw that similarity with him and my former governor/senator Mark Dayton, who was also a gaffe machine that people consistently forgave him for in ways that other politicians never would gotten. Because everyone knew Mark and would go, “well, we know what he means. It’s Mark.”

  89. 89.

    Betty Cracker

    @Kay: Speaking of Hunter, I remember when the laptop thing blew up during the runup to the election, and you said he would be nuts to confirm that it was his because there’s no telling who had it or whether all of the material contained on it was genuine. HB seemed to admit some of the material is genuine during a recent interview, but he was careful to clarify that its provenance was uncertain.

    I’m somewhat surprised the MSM isn’t going all in on every salacious allegation that drips out in the wingnut media, at least not that I’ve seen. Is it possible they’ve learned something?

  90. 90.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Kay:

    Sarcastically. The only kind of humor he does- the bitter, self-pitying kind. 

    Fitting for a bitter, self-pitying, traitorous, orange, shitstain.

  92. 92.

    Gin & Tonic

    @The Thin Black Duke: There was a very interesting Twitter thread (may even have been discussed here) a month or two ago about how West coast people are nice but not kind, and East coast people are kind but not nice (meaning US east and west coasts.)

  98. 98.

    rikyrah

    @Immanentize: 

    , a number of minus 80 freezers went offline so they had to get the doses out to where a lot of people were congregated who didn’t need to drive the dangerous roads. College campus!

    Yes, Lawd :)

  99. 99.

    Joey Maloney

    @Gin & Tonic: Reminds me of something I was told years ago when I first moved from Chicago to Mississippi: In the North white people will let blacks rise high as long as they don’t get too close. In the South whites will let blacks get close as long as they don’t rise too high.

    (You can see it in southern housing patterns if you know where to look. Find an exurban subdivision, chances are that somewhere across the main road will be a small cul-de-sac or loop of old, very modest houses. That’s called the maids’ circle, and that subdivision used to be one rich fuck’s estate.)

  100. 100.

    rikyrah

    @Kay:

     

    Biden was supposed to be ashamed of Hunter and when he didn’t go along their whole strategy collapsed.

     

    They really thought 46 was gonna abandon Hunter?

    For real?

  102. 102.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Baud: nation shrugs at Hunter Biden revelations

    I know I shouldn’t ask. One of my personal mottoes which I try to live by is “don’t ask a question where you don’t want to hear the answer.”

    And yet, I am driven to ask: They already showed porn in primetime in an attempt to create a scandal. How much lower can they go?

  103. 103.

    rikyrah

    @Baud:

    Republicans deflated as nation shrugs at Hunter Biden revelations

     

    What revelations?

    That he had problems with substance abuse?

    THAT was supposed to be a revelation?

  104. 104.

    mrmoshpotato

    @rikyrah:

    They really thought 46 was gonna abandon Hunter?

    For real?

    They’re a bunch of projecting-like-an-IMAX trash who hate their own kids, so yes.

  107. 107.

    mrmoshpotato

    @hueyplong:

    Yes, it’s a mistake to assume the depths to which they can sink are confined to the limits of your imagination. 

    “Hey Kola superdeep borehole!  Watch this!”

  110. 110.

    WereBear

    @Kay: Look into any winger, and you’ll see harsh — often fanatical religious — and abusive parenting.

    It’s the only place where I feel a bit sorry for them. And I can’t be as cruel as they are to themselves. Every single one is miserably unhappy, and by their own hands!

  112. 112.

    WereBear

    @Nicole: In the case of Trump, he well may end up paying a lot of fines, but I don’t know if he’ll live long enough to see jail time.

     
    If he’s arrested — not just sued — he’s going to jail. Granted, only for as long as it takes for money and lawyers to bail him out; but he is going to be incarcerated as a consequence.

    I hope he knows that. I hope it torments him.

  115. 115.

    Geminid

    @Betty Cracker: the trump people thought the Hunter Biden laptop affair would be a game changer. It was just a misapplication of messaging bandwidth, in the critical last two weeks of the campaign.

  116. 116.

    Gin & Tonic

    @WereBear: I’ve said it here before and I’ll say it again. He will never see the inside of a prison cell. Take that to the bank.

  117. 117.

    Soprano2

    @JML: Trump only sees through his own lens; he was ashamed of addiction in his own family, saw it as disgusting and weak. Of course he would expect others to see it that way, to think that you should ostracize anyone with that affliction, and that not shunning anyone struggling with addiction would harm them politically. Classic narcissism.

    Not just Trump though, I daresay most politicians would see it this way.  I’m so glad Biden showed that there is another way to be, a more human way that I’m sure reached at least a few people who are struggling with the same thing in their families.

  118. 118.

    Citizen Alan

    @Just One More Canuck: ​
     

    My pet theory is that his birth mother literally fled the country when he was six out of shame for giving birth to him because she knew he was already a budding psychopath.

  121. 121.

    Jeffro

    @Nelle:in the book, Caste, the author discusses canine hierarchy.  She notes that the true alpha dog rules through quiet calm and confidence.  I was thinking of Biden the whole chapter..and the utter fake alpha display by TFG.

    I will never understand who could look at that heavily made-up, hairsprayed, obese, poorly dressed whiny dipshit and go, “now THERE is a manly man to be admired!”  It just boggles the mind.

  122. 122.

    Jeffro

    @Geminid:I was interested to see the way trump focused his animus on other Republicans, tearing into various leaders, including McConnell. He had just complained that while Democrats are united, Republicans are not.

    that’s our trumpov, slaying irony on a daily basis…

  124. 124.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Jeffro:

    Alpha men don’t whine and deflect. Alpha men also know how to do things.

    Do you think that lardass even ties his own shoes?

  125. 125.

    rikyrah

    @Kay:

     

    I have to admit that I was stunned. I hadn’t even thought of that angle. That they thought 46 would turn his back on one of his only two living children. That was just so inconceivable that I didn’t think anyone would have it cross their mind.

  126. 126.

    Ruckus

    @Kay:

    He who shall not be named wishes he had the maturity of a ten yr old. He’s never made it higher than a very spoiled 4 yr old.

  131. 131.

    Geminid

    @WaterGirl: Well, thanks again. I really appreciate all you do here. If you lived nearby, I would show my gratitude by coming over and doing some free weeding. But alas! I live 600 miles away.

    But at least I can say, Good luck with your weeds, Watergirl!

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