Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

You cannot shame the shameless.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Come on, man.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

You are here: Home / Humorous / Late Night Open Thread: Credit Where Due to *Responsible* New Hampshire Residents

Late Night Open Thread: Credit Where Due to *Responsible* New Hampshire Residents

by | 75 Comments

This post is in: ,

They went to a quarry, rather than accidentally killing their guests with antique cannons or pipe bombs, or setting fire to a national park. They even got a permit, in advance no less!

Neighborhoods in several different southern New Hampshire towns were rocked by a mysterious explosion Tuesday night.

Kingston police say the blast was caused by a family using explosives to reveal the gender of their baby.

Chief Donald Briggs said the blast happened at Torromeo Industries on Dorre Road around 7 p.m…

It shook houses in surrounding neighborhoods and was even captured on a doorbell camera from the next town over. The Taglieris called 911 and waited for Kingston police.

In the meantime, social media lit up. People as far south as the Merrimack Valley were wondering what had happened…

Police say they’ve seen the gender reveal video and confirm — it’s a boy. And while neighbors are well aware of this explosive new trend they say this gender reveal is too much for a small town.

“It was ridiculous,” Sara said. “I don’t have any other words for it.”

Briggs said investigators are looking into possible property damage and that there could be charges in this case…

Local news video update here.

Baby steps, people, baby steps…

Reader Interactions

75Comments

  1. 1.

    West of the Rockies

    Some sort of charges need to be filed. Or laws need to be changed to stop this nonsense. People get hurt and property is damaged by such stunts. Can’t people just he happy that they’re having a baby?

    YMMV, but get off my lawn.

  4. 4.

    gene108

    People need fewer excuses to party. You want a big party with explosions, then have your big party with explosions.

    Why do we feel the need to have a “reason” to get together with friends and family and blow something up or set something on fire?

    People should be less inhibited about getting together, after the pandemic ends.

  5. 5.

    mrmoshpotato

    It shook houses in surrounding neighborhoods and was even captured on a doorbell camera from the next town over. The Taglieris called 911 and waited for Kingston police.

    And yet both future parents are still alive. HAVE THE BALLS TO PUSH THE PLUNGER RIGHT THERE!

    Someone mentioned on Twitter last night about being so concerned about your unborn kid’s junk…

    I hope this trash loses court case after court case. And I hope the YouTube video was shit.

  7. 7.

    Ivan X

    I just don’t understand the narcissism of this sort of thing. Fuck your kid’s gender. They’ll probably revise it anyway when they’re 15.

  9. 9.

    mrmoshpotato

    @gene108:

    People need fewer excuses to party. You want a big party with explosions, then have your big party with explosions. 

    Pay a pro fireworks company to put on a show for the neighborhood, you cheapass, dumbass slapdicks.

  10. 10.

    piratedan

    no idea why gender reveals became some insane event competition… cripes, put the money in a college fund.

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    Is artillery included in the arms that the Second Amendment says you guys are entitled to?

  12. 12.

    CaseyL

    Rocked houses for miles around, but everyone in the party is OK?

    They’re damned lucky.

    I understand that people like to make things go bang.  Even I like to make things go bang.

    But, FFS, setting off bombs to announce the gender of one’s kid?

    WTAF.

  14. 14.

    Martin

    Felt it’d be a good idea to check, and the gender reveal town is quite far from the libertarian bears town, at least in NH terms. I mean, it’s 81 miles, which is halfway across the state, or here in CA, commuting distance.

  15. 15.

    Martin

    @Gretchen: Yeah, but somehow the responsibility for these  things shifted from cis women to cis men, so cakes are out and felonies are in.

  16. 16.

    West of the Rockies

    Is there an environmental impact when detonating 80 pounds of this substance?  People with PTSD or fragile hearts probably didn’t enjoy the experience.

  17. 17.

    Damien

    Making things go bang is how they got themselves into having to do this gender reveal mess in the first place, you’d think they learned their lesson!

  19. 19.

    Mary G

    I read somewhere that one pound of Tannerite is considered too much, so 80 pounds is extra insane. They had better prosecute; just because he was lucky enough to not kill anybody, just shake the earth for miles around and gets a slap on the wrist, next time some yahoo will be determined to see what happens if he uses 100 pounds.

  22. 22.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I have, mercifully, never been invited to one of these events. Is it another way to extort gifts from family and friends?

  23. 23.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I have, mercifully, never been invited to one of these events. Is it another way to extort gifts from family and friends? 

    Baby showers in the 21st century have you showered with presents per tradition – and accidental shrapnel and possibly human remains apparently.

  25. 25.

    mrmoshpotato

    @NotMax:

    Makes no difference what they name him, he’s destined to go through the rest of his life being known as Boom Boom. 

    Or Those Fucking Assholes.

  26. 26.

    scav

    Imagine the size of the blast they’ll insist on for his first birthday.

    I can’t decide if it’d be funnier if these classics are either maskers or anti-maskers, vaxers or anti-vaxers.

  32. 32.

    scav

    @NotMax:

    But no one explodes a pig.

    I can only imagine there are many of our fellow citizens who are now conjuring ways of doing exactly that.

    Clearly, the guy with the whale just flaked on the birthday candles.

  36. 36.

    NotMax

    By George, that worked out better than anticipated. Used only the Instant Pot to separately prepare all the individual ingredients which get tossed together to make kasha varnishkes.

  38. 38.

    James E Powell

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I have, mercifully, never been invited to one of these events. Is it another way to extort gifts from family and friends?

    Reminds of a female comedian – can’t recall the name – who said, “I got an invitation to a baby shower or as I like to call it, an invoice.”

  41. 41.

    Mary G

    Young ‘uns learning:

    Biden having the highest youth approval rating of any president in 21 years was not on my 2021 bingo card.
    Young people went from ok boomer last year polling at 34% approval to ok Biden in the span of a year now polling at 59% according to our new Harvard public opinion poll
    — David Hogg (@davidhogg111) April 23, 2021

  44. 44.

    NotMax

    @sab

    It’s treated reverently, resting place when not on the counter (which is so cramped it can’t reside there permanently) is snuggled under a quilted cover, sitting atop a shelf on the other side of the kitchen.

    A culinary case of When You’re Good to Mama, only nowhere near as risqué.

    ;)

  46. 46.

    NotMax

    @Baud

    Grandpa Walton was the only one of the clan who had his head screwed on straight 100% of the time.

    ;)

  47. 47.

    opiejeanne

    @NotMax: I made pulled pork in my slow cooker today. The house smelled like garlic and smoky paprika when I came in from working in the garden and the smell drove us nuts for the last hour of cooking. It was good, and we were really ready for supper.

  49. 49.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    @Baud: ​
      on the other hand I have a thing for the MILF section of Porn Hub.

  52. 52.

    sab

    @NotMax: Well, you treat your instapot better than I treat my ricecooker, without which I could not function in the kitchen.

  53. 53.

    NotMax

    @opiejeanne

    Recipe on the back of the Wolff’s* box is so simple (doubled if using the whole box). Only changes I make are to saute diced onion until just beginning to brown and to put the pan-roasted groats and the onion into the pot of boiling broth, stir well, cover and remove from heat for 8 – 10 minutes, then fluff before mixing into the cooked bowtie pasta.

    Some folks like to add cooked diced carrots and/or mushrooms (or even pour gravy over the top when served). I’m more of a purist.

    *Medium grain when I can find it.

  54. 54.

    sab

    Yikes. Eye stuff wore off. I can see again!  Went to opthamologist today. Dilation stuff took forever to wear off. Various jackals say that is normal for olds. Just another thing to get used to while aging.

  56. 56.

    JR

    Pretty wild that area morons can buy something with half the explosive power of dynamite in 80 pound quantities.

  59. 59.

    Mousebumples

    Even ignoring the setting things in fire, disturbing people, or killing people properties of gender reveal parties… What is the child is transgender? It feels like too much effort to figure out what their private parts will look like. But I’m sure there’s money to be made by making a cake or colored smoke or… Whatever nonsense.

  60. 60.

    ThresherK

    Admitting it: If it weren’t in the headline, I’d have guessed this would be Texas.

    For its physical size and population, NH really punches above its weight when it comes to destructive, ignorant behavior. How soon until this kind of stuff is written into zoning laws?

  63. 63.

    Don K

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Yes it is. I’m old enough to remember when the bridal shower was a simple affair put on by the bride’s friends instead of being a rehearsal for the reception. All of these fertility rites have become outsized events meant to encourage more giving of stuff to the couple.

  64. 64.

    Art

    Where does this competitive and escalating performative demonstration of paternal love stop?  Do we go nuclear? I think we need to pump the brakes before we get to giant, glowing, radioactive powder blue and pink mushroom clouds.

    Whatever happened to cutting a cake and handing out cigars?

    I know, I know, gender reveals are fertility rites celebrating a man’s ability to get a woman pregnant. So … yes, even though this is possibly the simplest and least demanding portion of the whole raising children thing, we have to honor the occasion. Granted. But let’s keep it small, discreet, and classy guys.

  66. 66.

    Ken

    @Art: I think you’ve just figured out what gamma-ray bursters are.  And, during an earlier cosmic epoch, quasars.

  68. 68.

    jimmiraybob

    “…uranium hexafluoride gas…”

    Has anyone thought to see how this might be useful in the fight against COVID-19? If we can get purifying light – a strong light – into the body it certainly seems we could get a gas into the body. Dr. Birx, are we looking into this? Maybe infusing it into a bleach solution…………

  69. 69.

    UncleEbeneezer

    @Mousebumples: Thank you!  I was just thinking the same thing: and if the child ends up being Trans, this is just one more thing to make their life harder and put even more pressure on them not to live their truth.

  70. 70.

    Anne Laurie

    @ThresherK: For its physical size and population, NH really punches above its weight when it comes to destructive, ignorant behavior.

    Tourism is New Hampshire’s biggest industry.  A not insubstantial part of its local advertising is “We’re not like the People’s Republic of Massachusetts, or those Vermont socialist hippies.  You wanna do dangerous stuff here — fireworks, jet skis, ATVs, target practice — go nuts!  Just be sure to pay the highway tolls up front, and don’t forget to stop at our conveniently located & heavily signposted state-run liquor stores on your way to the ‘camp’!”

    Case in point: Laconia Bike Week.  Or, IIRC, the only Nascar track in the New England region.

  71. 71.

    J R in WV

    Wife and I traveled to Maine, but flew into New Hampster because it was cheaper, rented a little Toyota, drove to ultimate destination. Stopped at the entrance to White Mountains for lunch, I got fried clam dinner, wife got fried fish, same slaw, same tartar sauce. Tasted great, views of White Mountains were great, saw a Moose!

    But!:

    I got food poisoning and spewed from both ends for nearly 24 hours. What a way to start a vacation…

  74. 74.

    WaterGirl

    @sab: I was hoping you had seen Steeplejack’s comment on last night’s thread – he had talked with his brother the ophthalmologist and he said not to worry.

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