Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

“Perhaps I should have considered other options.” (head-desk)

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

“Alexa, change the president.”

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Hell hath no fury like a farmer bankrupted.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Saturday Night Open Thread: Cruel Chronos

Saturday Night Open Thread: Cruel Chronos

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Also, that typo for ‘message’ in the embedded tweet is golden. I think you have to pay more than Cameo prices for a personal BS massage…

To date myself… I never completely forgave my mother, during her stint as a low-level NYC mayoral campaign worker in 1969, when she turned down a Jimmy Breslin autograph to fangirl at Norman Mailer. She came home starry-eyed, chirping ‘I’ll never wash this hand [Mailer shook] again!’, and then told me that it was undignified to adulate a ‘mere’ newspaper columnist. (I wouldn’t find out for years that Gloria Steinem was one of the organizers behind that campaign, either.)

Reader Interactions

37Comments

  2. 2.

    Mary G

    It’s so nice to see silly stuff like this able to be front paged because TFG isn’t creating news every ten minutes. Thanks, President Biden. Boring is beautiful.

  3. 3.

    Another Scott

    Mrs. Betty Bowers is doing that too. I guess it’s a thing.

    [Resending to correct link.]Mother's Day is May 9th. If you'd like to give your mother a personalized greeting from America's Best Christian™, I would be delighted to oblige!t.co/xsm3LQiuZI pic.twitter.com/TJtmzIR8FN

    — Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) April 23, 2021

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  6. 6.

    dr. bloor

    ‘I’ll never wash this hand [Mailer shook] again!’,

    Just out of curiosity, was it the same hand he used to stab his wife?

  8. 8.

    jl

    So, I’m confused by this post. Was Butthole Surfers a minor NYC political party, or a rock band, or what

    Edit: ha ha, joking, I think they were (are?) a rock band. I don’t think I’ve ever heard one note, though.

  11. 11.

    Raven

    @NotMax: My old man was in a “head” on Guadalcanal during a USO show and Artie Shaw was there and said “shake the hand that played with Ava Gardener’s. .  .” Well, you know, there was a war on.

  12. 12.

    Nicole

    Thanks to this post, I just searched Cameo, seeing as tomorrow is Mothers’ Day and my kid didn’t get me anything, but no Gil Gerard, so never mind.

  14. 14.

    HypersphericalCow

    I was once offered a job with Cameo; I did not take it, which was probably the right decision.

  16. 16.

    dlwchico

    My father-in-law owned an indy bookstore for a while when he was younger.  He was also a big fan of Kurt Vonnegut and got him to do an appearance at the store.  As a result we have inherited his little Vonnegut shrine, which includes a cigarette butt from the great one himself.

  20. 20.

    jl

    @RSA: Thanks, listening now. I like this one.

    The first bores me. I wonder if that sound has been ripped off by so many emo bands that it is tiresome now?

  22. 22.

    RSA

    @jl: Cool.

    I’m kind of out of touch, culturally. Searching online, I discover that Sarah O’Connor is an Irish stage actress associated with Frozen, but I immediately thought… Terminator.

  23. 23.

    Nicole

    @Elizabelle: Hee hee!  I’m glad it was fun.  I was just browsing Stereogum again myself, after getting back home from a day out.  For better or worse, reading the site has given me an earworm of Aretha Franklin and George Michael’s “I Knew You Were Waiting for Me” that has lasted for two days now.

  27. 27.

    Citizen Alan

    @jl: They didn’t have many notes for you to hear — I only remember a single BHS song to ever chart and that was in the early 90s.

  29. 29.

    Kay

    John Harwood
    @JohnJHarwood
    ·May 7
    Elise Stefanik today on talk radio:
    “when we did polling in my district, the only unifying issue of Democrats was wanting to defeat Trump
    “we’re seeing they’re obsessed
    “but what they don’t realize is Trump has grown the party”

    You will never hear a Democrat talk about their Republican constituents in such a nasty, disrespectful way. Never.
    It’s one of the big differences between the two Parties and it never gets mentioned. Republicans attack the Democratic voters in their own districts. Their own constituents. It’s remarkable.
    She’s angry they don’t support her- thinks she’s entitled to it.

  30. 30.

    Jacqueline Squid Onassis

    @Mike J: @ljdramone: 

    Ah, nice. But can you say you were at the famous show at Danceteria? I was and it is legendary for good reason.

    (The link doesn’t do the show justice. Just for the record… They came on about 5 hours late – sometime around 3 AM – long after genius opening band Happy Flowers had come and gone. Gibby was incoherent from the beginning and naked by the end of the second song. Sex was had on stage. Teresa was knocked unconscious for a while by a thrown bottle. Gibby didn’t seem to notice the beer bottle that shattered on his forehead. The slamdancing was the most violent I’ve seen and I used to go to all the punk matinees at CBGB’s.)

  31. 31.

    Kay

    “when we did polling in my district, the only unifying issue of Democrats was wanting to defeat Trump

    She’s not talking about her Democratic opponent here. She’s talking about voters. AKA “her enemies”.

    It’s fucked up. These people require some kind of psychological intervention- she’s now going to battle with the voters in her district who don’t like Dear Leader? That’s what she thinks her job is?

  32. 32.

    EmanG

    I’ll never forget laughing as my friend passed out when they started rolling the penis surgery footage. One of my favorite shows ever. Also, the age thing checks out.

  33. 33.

    Nobody in particular

    @Nicole:  Gil Gerard? He wasn’t in much, Buck Rogers, minus the Queen soundtrack. I was into Sci-fi. I watched.

  34. 34.

    Searcher

    Cameo is OnlyFans for people who are famous enough to not need to show skin.  You give a few bucks to someone you like and they acknowledge you for a few seconds.

    You may be delighted that, the last I heard, the most popular / person who is currently making the most money from Cameo is Brian Baumgartner, who played Kevin on the Office.

  35. 35.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Raven: Was it Ava Gardner who supposedly said of Frank Sinatra, He may only weigh 110 pounds but 90 pounds is [crude anatomical reference deleted]…?

    I dunno – maybe it was Lana Turner….

  36. 36.

    Nobody in particular

    @Uncle Cosmo:

    I’d put my money on Ava Gardner.

    Ms. Turner preferred real gangsters, like Johnny Stompanato, not the crooners the gangsters admired.

  37. 37.

    LiminalOwl (formerly The Fat White Duchess)

    @rikyrah:  OMG, that’s horrendous. Thank you for the info, though the reduced charges are infuriating.

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