Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Petty moves from a petty man.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

One way or another, he’s a liar.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

So many bastards, so little time.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Human rights are not a matter of opinion!

The lights are all blinking red.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Please FSM, let there be perp walks…

Please FSM, let there be perp walks…

by | 137 Comments

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Sounds like Matt Gaetz’s clipped wingman is singing like the proverbial canary. From The Orlando Sentinel:

Joel Greenberg, Seminole County’s disgraced former tax collector, has agreed to plead guilty to six federal crimes — including sex trafficking of a child — in a deal that calls for him to cooperate with federal investigators, according to a source with knowledge of the agreement.

The deal, which will be made official during a Monday morning court hearing Greenberg is required to attend, marks a turning point in the sprawling federal investigation that has roiled Florida politics and reportedly taken aim at Greenberg’s friend and ally U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz.

In addition to trafficking, Greenberg will plead to charges of identity theft, stalking, wire fraud and conspiracy to bribe a public official. Prior to striking a deal, he was facing 33 federal charges.

Greenberg is pleading guilty to some mighty serious charges, and one hopes he does hard time for those crimes regardless of his level of cooperation. He sounds like a psychopath who should be off the streets for public safety reasons. But here’s hoping he’s got tons of evidence that can help the feds nail Gaetz — and who knows, maybe take down some other prominent Republican sleazebags at the same time.

There are two reasons to believe Greenberg does have a ton of dirt on Gaetz and possibly others. Number one, Greenberg seems pretty fucking stupid. Case in point: he left electronic trails and physical evidence all over the place when he was paying “escorts,” attempting to frame political rivals for crimes he himself committed, abusing power, committing fraud, etc.

The dumb motherfucker actually managed to set a county building on fire by overheating servers purchased with public funds to launder bitcoin money from his side hustle. Einstein he is not!

The second reason to believe Greenberg may have the goods is that, like many criminals, Greenberg was apparently super-paranoid about being crossed. The stories about him trying to get a pardon from Trump via Roger Stone included the detail that Greenberg took screenshots of conversations with Stone on an encrypted messaging app Stone used expressly to avoid electronic trails.

In addition to Gaetz, let’s hope Stone is among those whom Greenberg implicates. It would be especially fitting if a dumb, small-fry, frat-boy shit-for-brains like Greenberg tosses Stone into legal peril once more after Stone went to so much trouble to corruptly obtain a presidential pardon for previous crimes.

It would also be lovely if Greenberg’s self-immolation manages to scorch FL Gov. DeSantis, who palled around with noted sleazebags Gaetz and Greenberg and appointed Gaetz as his gubernatorial transition chairman. But while DeSantis will never be invited to bring the noodle salad to the Mensa picnic, I don’t think he’s as dumb as Greenberg and Gaetz, so he probably covered his tracks better.

Still, if Gaetz gets indicted at some point, which seems likely since there would be no reason for the feds to cut a deal with a stone-cold busted scumbag like Greenberg unless they’ve got bigger game in their sights, that will be unwelcome news for DeSantis heading into an election year. Let the perp walks begin!

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

137Comments

  3. 3.

    Searcher

    … did the prosecutors get anything for cutting a deal with that other notable Floridian, Epstein?

  5. 5.

    Spanky

    Would be nice to see deSantis splashed with this shit. Seems to be enough to go around.

  6. 6.

    Cameron

    Is there any way Florida Democrats can make hay (or at least rattle the cage) over this?

  7. 7.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    Earlier someone invoked Murphy, now it’s the FSM…which one true deity does this blog believe in? Or are we polytheistic?

  9. 9.

    Kay

    southpaw
    @nycsouthpaw
    “[O]ther men who Greenberg introduced the Minor to engaged in commercial sex acts with the Minor in Greenberg’s presence when the Minor was under the age of 18 years old”

  13. 13.

    Baud

    If there’s anyone in the court filings who is referred to as Forehead 1, that’s a good sign.

  14. 14.

    Betty Cracker

    @Searcher: Epstein, like Donald Trump, was from NYC, but hopefully the federal prosecutors handling this case aren’t corrupt future Trump lackeys like Alexander Acosta.

    That said, Greenberg’s parents are mega-rich, so it’s not unreasonable to worry about bribery allowing another set of predators go free.

  15. 15.

    Betty Cracker

    @Baud: That massive fivehead makes me suspect Gaetz is a long-lost Mercer rather than a generic Trump. ETA: I wonder if his idiot fiancée will stick around for the shit-show?

  16. 16.

    Nicole

    @Betty Cracker:

    That said, Greenberg’s parents are mega-rich, so it’s not unreasonable to worry about bribery allowing another set of predators go free.

    Yeah.  As I’ve said before, I am incredibly cynical about the wealthy ever facing consequences.

    That said, if that shiny Trump pardon for Stone ends up not being worth shit because Stone ends up indicted for something  else, that’ll be very satisfying.

  18. 18.

    Barbara

    @Searcher: ​ For the public? No.

    Looking through the deal, if this is it, and I assume it is because it is signed, note that there is no “commitment” on the part of prosecutors not to prosecute people who are not signatories to the agreement. Which was and remains a completely outrageous feature of the Epstein deal. Seriously, it should be out of bounds with respect to anyone who is not an immediate member of your family in charge of caring for a minor dependent. Even then it should depend on circumstances.

  19. 19.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @Kay: n commercial sex acts with the Minor in Greenberg’s presence

    That sure puts an interesting spin on that Guilanie scene in Borat 2.  That a random joke or someone rubbing the GOP faces in an open secret of their’s?

  21. 21.

    lee

    maybe take down some other prominent Republican sleazebags at the same time.

    While this would be great, I get the impression that regular Republicans avoided him like the plague. All he and Greenberg were left with were the Roger Stones of the GQP.

  25. 25.

    TeezySkeezy

    The server caught on fire? You shouldnt be mining bitcoins on government property (or, one could argue, ever)….but it caught on fire?

  27. 27.

    Benw

    Boop boop boop

    Another one bites the dust

    Gaetz! They’re gonna get you, too

    Another one bites the dust!

  29. 29.

    Mr. Longform

    open-threading from something I read recently:

    The 1931 science fiction novel Last and First Men by Olaf Stapledon is a dystopian future history of how badly things have gone in the distant future.  It gets most of the 20th century after World War I dead wrong, but in attributing the final downfall of mankind mostly to influences from the US, there is this passage which sounds more plausible now than it has in times before:

    For the best of America was too weak to withstand the worst.  Americans had indeed contributed amply to human thought.  They had helped to emancipate philosophy from ancient fetters.  They had served science by lavish and rigorous research. … In fact their best minds faced old problems of theory and of valuation with a fresh innocence and courage, so that fogs of superstition were cleared away wherever these choice Americans were present.  But these best were after all a minority in a huge wilderness of opinionated self-deceivers, in whom surprisingly, an outworn religious dogma was championed with the intolerant optimism of youth.  For this was essentially a race of bright, but arrested, adolescents.  Something lacked which should have enabled them to grow up.  One who looks back across the aeons to this remote people can see their fate already woven of their circumstance and their disposition, and can appreciate the grim jest that these, who seemed to themselves gifted to rejuvenate the planet, should have plunged it, inevitably, through spiritual desolation into senility and age-long night.

  34. 34.

    Martin

    Since we’re at the working-out-details of a Trump indictment, maybe the feds can get them a window/aisle combo on a flight back to DC.

  36. 36.

    Leto

    Anyone see, via Maddow last night, that per a little section in the FL constitution the FL gov has final approval on out-of-state extradition requests? This came up via her reporting that Fat Bastard will probably be criminally charged in NY (as well as potential Federal charges, as well as the GA criminal investigation), and that the NY AG will request extradition. Just thinking about that and how it relates to knock off Butt-head.

  38. 38.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    “I’m not going to judge his sins – that’s between him and God. All I know is that he stands up for the right things and speaks out for the culture of family values, so as just another forgiven sinner, I’ll support him….”

  39. 39.

    Martin

    @Betty Cracker: Yeah, but you can appreciate why we might want to gerrymander dipshittery to Florida and Texas. GA right now looks salvageable. FL not so much.

  40. 40.

    Old School

    @TeezySkeezy:

    The server caught on fire?

    The fire was caused by a power surge created by the way the servers were daisy chained together

    Edit: The plea calls them “Bitcoin mining machines” rather than servers.  Not sure what the difference is.

  42. 42.

    Martin

    @Leto: That only applies to extradition from one state to another. If the feds pick them up, he can do fuck-all about it. And if the feds have Trump, they can give him to NY without Florida’s say so.

  44. 44.

    cope

    Too bad DeSantis, Greenberg and Gaetz weren’t in the Hummer full of hoarded gas containers that went KABLOOIE in Homosassa.  You Florida haters apparently can’t pin this on Florida Man as it appears to have been a Georgia couple crossing state lines to get enough gas to, well, probably just get back home to Georgia.

  48. 48.

    Mallard Filmore

    @Martin:   Speaking of The Former Guy, here is a rumor on Twitter:

    Aunt Crabby Calls Bullshit  @DearAuntCrabby  ·  22h

    We are now learning that Donald Trump refuses to leave Mar-a-Lago because he is afraid of being served and extradited to New York. Ain’t that a hoot!

  49. 49.

    Soprano2

    I talked to a woman at Jazzercise last night who works to get help for trafficked women and children. I asked if she knew anything about the big publicity event Josh Hawley staged in 2018 when he was running for the Senate. She said yes, she was right in the middle of that, and it was as disgusting as you might imagine. She said there was news media at every site they raided because then-MO A.G. Hawley tipped them off with an e-mail an hour before they made the busts! She said the women they “rescued” were in the custody of her organization for 24 hours, and that Hawley had the gall to bring CNN reporters in to try to interview some of them!!!  She said that none of the women would admit to being trafficked, so after 24 hours they had to drive them all back to the parlors they had just “rescued” them from the day before. She said she was never involved in anything as disgusting before or since, and that she’s afraid that the current A.G., who is planning on running for Senate next year, is going to pull the same crap. It was all done for the sake of publicity – not one woman was rescued, and no one was even charged with a crime. It was part of a multi-state sting, so I’m sure he wasn’t the only puke who benefited from all that publicity about “cracking down on trafficking of foreign women”. She has no idea what happened to any of those women – she said they were probably on planes to other locations within a day or two of being returned to the parlors. She also told me that most of the trafficking cases she works on are local, domestic women and children, and that it’s actually pretty rare here for them to work on a case of trafficked foreign people.

  51. 51.

    Betty Cracker

    @cope: Really — the Hummer folk were from Georgia? LOL! I swear, 95% of the nutty “Florida Man” antics are committed by people from out of state. Our unfortunate peninsula just happens to be where they run out of road.

  56. 56.

    Mallard Filmore

    @Leto:

     

    Just thinking about that and how it relates to knock off Butt-head.

    I read on another blog, that if DeSantis “protects” TFG, it will have a serious impact on TFG’s ability to hold campaign rallies outside of Florida.

    It will improve the standing of DeSantis in the next Presidential primaries TFG endorses him in return.

  57. 57.

    CaseyL

    @HumboldtBlue: If you’d like to hear a baby bear chattering away, check out a 1988 movie called “The Bear.”  It’s a wonderful little tale about an adult grizzly who winds up adopting a cub, and their adventures together.
    It stars real honest to god bears (animal actors, not wild bears), and the cub’s vocalizations are all real – they’re apparently very verbal as babies, and sound remarkably like human babies.​

  58. 58.

    Eljai

    @Soprano2: That is just despicable.  Hawley is the worst!  I still remember how he just bald faced lied about the Affordable Care Act while he was actively trying to take away protections for pre-existing conditions.  What a scumbag.

  59. 59.

    Martin

    I can’t believe the MOVE bombing is still making news. I remember watching that play out. I was living in PA at that time, and it was local news, and I had a friend over and we were just glued to the TV. I remember us saying ‘What! The police have bombs!? Why the fuck didn’t we know that the police have bombs!’

  62. 62.

    Shalimar

    @Betty Cracker: I read one account, Queen Elizabeth threatening to take legal action because the bus they used had a photo-shopped picture of her in a MAGA hat on it.

  63. 63.

    HumboldtBlue

    @Martin: ​ 
    I had gone into Philly to visit my brother who worked in Center City, and I was sitting at the 69th Street Station waiting for my bus back to West Chester when they dropped the bomb. It wasn’t until I was back on campus I learned what had happened.

  64. 64.

    Kay

    Manu Raju
    @mkraju
    · 6h
    “This is a woman that’s deeply unwell. And clearly needs help. And her kind of fixation has lasted for several years now. At this point I think the depth has raised concerns for other members as well,” AOC on MTG

    Jake Sherman
    @JakeSherman
    I’ve heard it from members on both sides of the aisle.

    I’m pleased Republicans have this problem – it’s a difficult thing to deal with in a workplace if she really is nuts, and that’s in an ordinary workplace with no public exposure. They deserve this problem.

  67. 67.

    Joe Falco

    @Martin:

    Any of the former Confederate states are salvageable if the For The People Act is signed into law. Georgia still teeters on the edge into total wingnuttery on a good day.

  68. 68.

    HumboldtBlue

    This is jaw-dropping. It’s as if they hired Charles fucking Murray to design this algorithm.

    Under the settlement, however, the NFL has insisted on using a scoring algorithm on the dementia testing that assumes Black men start with lower cognitive skills. They must therefore score much lower than whites to show enough mental decline to win an award. The practice, which went unnoticed until 2018, has made it harder for Black former players to get awards.

  70. 70.

    Betty Cracker

    @Kay: Yes. Yes they do deserve that.

    It’s a performative requirement these days for Republicans to act like a coked-up hyena being attacked by invisible fire ants, so it’s hard to determine whether Greene is doing a shtick or if she’s truly deranged. I lean toward the latter.

    Before she held office, Greene was a wealthy person who stalked traumatized teenagers to screech at them about the Second Amendment. I don’t think she’s right in the head.

  71. 71.

    Chief Oshkosh

    @Mallard Filmore: It’d be a real shame if utilities to that dump started failing. I bet the Dolt45 would sure get interested in Infrastructure Week right quick.

  73. 73.

    TheOtherHank

    @Old School:  Depending on when he was doing his mining, it means lots of graphics cards, which tend to run so hot (ie, use so much power) that high end ones have a couple of fans built into them to keep temps on the card down.

  74. 74.

    pluky

    @TeezySkeezy: bit coin mining is VERY energy demanding. Given the thermodynamic law that all work generates some waste heat it’s quite plausible that an inadequately ventilated server farm dedicated to such mining is a fire risk.

  76. 76.

    Jeffro

    @Betty Cracker:Greene was a wealthy person who stalked traumatized teenagers to screech at them about the Second Amendment. I don’t think she’s right in the head.

    Greene, Gosar, and a few other GQP Reps just radiate crazy.  They all radiate mean, stupid, corrupt, etc, but these folks in particular just seem absolutely nuts.

    Gosar’s questioning in that 1/6 hearing the other day was bongo-bongo.  He looked like he was hearing the voice of some sort of evil spirit in the back of his head.

  77. 77.

    Baud

    Meanwhile, the Great Unfuckening goes on…

    Section 1.  Revocation of Presidential Actions.  The following Presidential actions are revoked:  Executive Order 13925 of May 28, 2020 (Preventing Online Censorship), Executive Order 13933 of June 26, 2020 (Protecting American Monuments, Memorials, and Statues and Combating Recent Criminal Violence), Executive Order 13934 of July 3, 2020 (Building and Rebuilding Monuments to American Heroes), Executive Order 13964 of December 10, 2020 (Rebranding United States Foreign Assistance To Advance American Influence), Executive Order 13978 of January 18, 2021 (Building the National Garden of American Heroes), and Executive Order 13980 of January 18, 2021 (Protecting Americans From Overcriminalization Through Regulatory Reform).

  78. 78.

    VeniceRiley

    So Not Cap’n. on twitter just said Neera Tanden is now a Sr. Advisor and the Senate Budget Committee has to go to her and she’ll decide what the POTUS needs to see.
    F around and FIND OUT!
    I am sooooo stinkin’ happy right now.

  79. 79.

    senyordave

    Joel Greenberg, Seminole County’s disgraced former tax collector, has agreed to plead guilty to six federal crimes — including sex trafficking of a child

    What are the mitigating circumstances to sex trafficking a child?  Seems like a crime where you would lock him up and throw away the key.  I guess you need some type of carrot, but its had to imagine that Greenberg was in with anyone actually worse than he is.

  81. 81.

    JMG

    @Leto: Federal law requires states to honor each other’s extradition requests. So if DeSantis tries to block such a request for Trump, he will wind up in front of a Federal judge in a case he will lose.

  85. 85.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Betty Cracker:

    It’s a performative requirement these days for Republicans to act like a coked-up hyena being attacked by invisible fire ants 

    Coked-up hyenas being attacked by invisible fire ants would like a word.

  86. 86.

    Kay

    @Betty Cracker:

    We had to deal with it at one of the post offices where I worked. They’re (understandably) sensitive about crazy or threatening behavior (“go postal”) so they have a whole elaborate process. Genuinely hard to deal with.  The incident where Greene is shouting outside AOC’s office would definitely qualify for review.

  87. 87.

    Another Scott

    @Kay: The big video microphone over her shoulder while she’s yelling in the mail slot shows what it’s all about.

    She may be nuts, but she’s doing it for the camera and the clicks…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  88. 88.

    hueyplong

    @Roger Moore: And who will think of poor Nestor?

    It’s the faux children who are always hurt the most.  Other than, you know, the real children/victims in this case.

  90. 90.

    germy

    Here’s a new instance of voter fraud…

    Barry Morphew is accused of submitting his missing wife’s 2020 election ballot. She’s been missing since May 10, 2020.

    When FBI asked him, he said he did it “Just because I wanted Trump to win”

    He’s now charged with her murder #9News pic.twitter.com/ZhgkHd8kHs

    — Marc Sallinger (@MarcSallinger) May 14, 2021

  92. 92.

    VeniceRiley

    @rikyrah: Seriously. I cannot stop laughing. Well, more like snickering. Thanks for fetching the tweet as I can’t get to twitter from my work pc.

  93. 93.

    sdhays

    @Roger Moore: I thought she had already bailed.

    And her family’s already rich, so she wasn’t with him for the money. I was under the impression that she brought more to it than he did.

    She loved him for who he is. Well, up to a point.

  95. 95.

    West of the Rockies

    @Jeffro:

    I’m frequently stupefied by how bloody arrogant, smug, and certain these Trumpians are of the shit they spout.

    With social anxiety and a self-reflective nature, I often feel silly and hold back on speaking (probably should say still less).

  96. 96.

    germy

    @West of the Rockies:

    I’m convinced that some of the dumbest people climb the ladder of political success because they have no fear of public speaking.

    It’s like 90% of the battle.  They can stand up in front of an audience and give a speech.  Doesn’t matter how stupid or unethical they are.

  98. 98.

    germy

    @cckids:

    Most likely.  She parties at Mar-A-Lago. That’s where she met Gaetz.

    The only good people there are the servers and cleaners.

  102. 102.

    cckids

    @germy: Ah. Still, she probably saw it as a transactional relationship, him being a congresscritter and all. I’ve never met nor seen a rich Trumper type that had a healthy-seeming relationship. Deeply flawed human beings.

  103. 103.

    Kay

    This NYTimes reporter is rebutting Greenwald and it’s really gratifying to read because he’s able to clearly show how Greenwald misrepresents to fit Greenwald’s narrative. I’ve never been able to do that- I knew he was DOING it but he’s clever – you really have to know what he’s trying to mislead on and take it apart to see where the smoke and mirrors come in.

    “Charlie Savage
    @charlie_savage

    ·2h

    But besides ignoring that glaring logical gap, let’s look at signs of deliberate obfuscation. For ex, this sentence creates the impression the CIA “cooked up” its “tale” in close proximity to its disclosure, which would support his narrative. It was actually then 5 months old.”

  104. 104.

    VeniceRiley

    @WaterGirl: Because Senators killed her nomination and now they’re being made to go through her alone in an not a confirmation position. They can’t be tools to her. She decides what the POTUS sees.

  105. 105.

    rikyrah

    @WaterGirl:

    They thought that they had beaten Neera and 46. Most of the muthaphuckas against Neera were Bernie bros. Now, their Vermont Savior has to go through Neera to get to 46. Nothing Vermont Jesus or his disciples can do about it.???

  106. 106.

    Baud

    @Kay:

    This NYTimes reporter is rebutting Greenwald

     

    Ugh. I know I have to root for the NYT in this fight, but I don’t have to like it.

  107. 107.

    Kay

    @Baud:

    Only rarely can you catch him. He’s good at it. I was reading one of his rants about Obama and Libya and he wrote that “Congress” rebuked Obama. I knew the GOP House rebuked Obama so I thought “you weasel”.

  108. 108.

    Mike in NC

    @Baud: No “National Garden of American Heroes  Traitors”? I’m going to go cry in my beer. Steve Bannon was going to design it.

  110. 110.

    rikyrah

    @WaterGirl:

    They thought that they had beaten Neera and 46. Most of the muthaphuckas against Neera were Bernie bros. Now, their Vermont Savior has to go through Neera to get to 46. Nothing Vermont Jesus or his disciples can do about it.???

  111. 111.

    Kay

    @Baud:

    Author of “Takeover” & “Power Wars”

    So it’s really an intra anti deep state fight. Probably the most vicious.

    “I do not trust The Man!” “oh yes you do!”

  120. 120.

    Kay

    John Hudson
    @John_Hudson
    ·10h
    As Arab world rallies around Palestinians and bloodshed mounts, Trump-era peace deals fade from view

    The world’s best dealmaker strikes again. “Fades from view” is a very polite way to say “bunch of bullshit that all sides ignore”

  121. 121.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Kay: Trumpworld is currently blaming Biden for letting it all far apart. And not, you know, Bibi’s thugs kicking off a new and round of violence between Palestinians and Israelis. Or that Trump’s foreign policy and allies all allowed this to happen.

  122. 122.

    Cameron

    @MisterForkbeard: Huh?  What in the world did Biden have to do with this?  And I don’t think a whole lot of those “rallying” Arabs give a tin-plated shit about Palestinians as such – they’re pissed about the assault on worshipers in al-Aqsa.

  124. 124.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Cameron: They’re also blaming Biden for the Colonial pipeline getting hacked. Despite that Dems have been pushing for fixes on infrastructure cybersecurity for 10+ years now and been rebuffed by Republicans.

  132. 132.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    Rep. Matt Gaetz Snorted Cocaine With Escort Who Had ‘No Show’ Gov’t Job

    Law and Order

  135. 135.

    lowtechcyclist

    @Betty Cracker: ​
     
    Is it just me, or in that pic, does DeSantis look like the offspring of a union between Shrub and Alfred E. Neuman?

  136. 136.

    Bill Arnold

    @JMG:

    So if DeSantis tries to block such a request for Trump, he will wind up in front of a Federal judge in a case he will lose.

    Well, Florida could secede. In the fullness of time and global heating, that might not be a good idea, at least not until the next ice age;

    The most terrifying thing about Florida is the fact that there’s a much larger Florida lurking underneath the sea. sitting. watching. waiting. pic.twitter.com/LDXlY01Twd
    — Max (@maxtmcc) May 8, 2021

  137. 137.

    evodevo

    @Kay: ​
      Yep…Postal Inspectors would be on that like white on rice…at my little PO, one of my co-workers turned in a sub for mentioning that he could order a hit on an annoying customer if he wanted….he was terminated a couple weeks later…

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