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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

So many bastards, so little time.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

It’s easier to kill a dangerous animal than a man who just happens to have different thoughts/values than one’s own.

The new temporary speaker of the house is a spiteful little shit.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

The revolution will be supervised.

Republicans can’t even be trusted with their own money.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

When we show up, we win.

You cannot shame the shameless.

And so it is for the politically and morally bankrupt Kevin McCarthy.

Let there be snark.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Greetings from the Retirement Community

Greetings from the Retirement Community

by John Cole|  July 1, 20218:54 pm| 82 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

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In the past hour I made pudding, soaked my feet in epsom salt, and took a hot shower to loosen my back, which is what we in the business call the geriatric trifecta.

It’s pistachio pudding, btw, and I am so excited for it.

I made a ginormous bone-in ribeye that I will be eating for three days, and I gave Lily, Rosie, and Steve a lot because THEY’VE BEEN GETTING ALL THE TREATS the past few days.

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Reader Interactions

82Comments

  1. 1.

    Big R

    July 1, 2021 at 8:55 pm

    oh dear

  2. 2.

    WaterGirl

    July 1, 2021 at 8:56 pm

    If you are old now, you are going to be really old when you get old.

  3. 3.

    WaterGirl

    July 1, 2021 at 8:56 pm

    When you start to eat prunes for breakfast, I don’t want to know.

  4. 4.

    hells littlest angel

    July 1, 2021 at 8:56 pm

    Always nice to have a late-night snack treat that you don’t need to put your teeth in for.

  5. 5.

    Suzanne

    July 1, 2021 at 8:56 pm

    @Big R: Yeah.

  6. 6.

    WaterGirl

    July 1, 2021 at 8:59 pm

    @hells littlest angel: hahahahaha

  7. 7.

    Soonergrunt

    July 1, 2021 at 9:01 pm

    Umm, when you making tapioca?

  8. 8.

    Ken

    July 1, 2021 at 9:01 pm

    @hells littlest angel: And you can spit the pistachios into a bowl for later.

  9. 9.

    raven

    July 1, 2021 at 9:03 pm

    You have no idea.

  10. 10.

    RandomMonster

    July 1, 2021 at 9:04 pm

    Rosie?

  11. 11.

    zhena gogolia

    July 1, 2021 at 9:05 pm

    @raven: inorite?

  12. 12.

    zhena gogolia

    July 1, 2021 at 9:06 pm

    @RandomMonster:

    Oh, you’re right. He meant Thurston.

  13. 13.

    Tom Levenson

    July 1, 2021 at 9:06 pm

    Want ribeye.

  14. 14.

    Steeplejack

    July 1, 2021 at 9:06 pm

    @RandomMonster:

    Freudian slip. Thurston, I suppose.

  15. 15.

    RandomMonster

    July 1, 2021 at 9:09 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Whew. I’m not in the Twilight Zone.

  16. 16.

    PeakVT

    July 1, 2021 at 9:10 pm

    Poor Thurston, the forgotten goggie.

  17. 17.

    laura

    July 1, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    We had a nice dinner and I’m going to cook down some Santa Rosa plums into a jammy sauce for cake filling, crisps and yoghurts. The smell of fruit and cinnamon is really nice. Half way to a summer fruit dessert.

  18. 18.

    Suzanne

    July 1, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    @RandomMonster: That was my first thought.

    I am in a hotel in DC and there is a tornado warning and some crazy-ass rain/flooding. So we are all in the hotel lobby, sheltering away from the windows.

  19. 19.

    J R in WV

    July 1, 2021 at 9:18 pm

    So I bought a fresh loaf of French bread yesterday, which I baked with garlic butter today. I also made chicken salad, and had a fresh tomato which I sliced up. So we ate chewy bread with chicken salad and fresh tomato for dinner, with sparkling white wine. Now we’re having Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey for dessert. Yum.

    I also got some smoked salmon for later, and filet steak also for later. Since we’re talking about food here.

    And TFG is fucked pretty well by his tax records and the resultant indictments. What a bag of dicks. 15 felonies !!! Whee…

  20. 20.

    trollhattan

    July 1, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    Heh. A senior amuse bouche. The main course is far more…interesting.

    Bone-in ribeye will be the name of my Clash tribute band in the home.

  21. 21.

    NotMax

    July 1, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    @Steeplejack

    Geriatric superfecta.

    ;)

  22. 22.

    laura

    July 1, 2021 at 9:22 pm

  23. 23.

    WaterGirl

    July 1, 2021 at 9:24 pm

    I just ate a peach from the farmer’s market that was so good I had to eat it while holding a bowl underneath to catch the juice.

    On a different subject, I haven’t seen anything on BJ about Nancy Pelosi’s choices for the Jan 6 commission:

    ith her committee picks, Pelosi chose:

    • Rep. Bennie Thompson, D-Miss., who will lead the panel
    • Rep. Pete Aguilar, D-Calif.
    • Rep. Liz Cheney, R-Wyo.
    • Rep. Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif.
    • Rep. Elaine Luria, D-Va.
    • Rep. Stephanie Murphy, D-Fla.
    • Rep. Jamie Raskin, D-Md.
    • Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif.

    I’m not thrilled that she chose Cheney who is fine with all the awful Republican efforts to deny the right to vote and allow legislatures to overturn the will of the voters.  Ugh.

    I have no idea who Bennie Thompson is – does anyone know anything about him?

    Glad about Raskin and Schiff, neutral on Zoe L, but I don’t know the others at all.

  24. 24.

    raven

    July 1, 2021 at 9:27 pm

    I made grilled aj, triggerfish, pineapple, avocado and cuban black beans.

  25. 25.

    NotMax

    July 1, 2021 at 9:29 pm

    So old can remember when the ribeye was snubbed as an inferior cut of meat. At a tavern we used to frequent, the ribeye sandwich cost about half what the cheeseburger did.

  26. 26.

    HinTN

    July 1, 2021 at 9:33 pm

    @NotMax:

    the ribeye sandwich cost about half what the cheeseburger did

    That must have been one hell of a cheeseburger.

  27. 27.

    HinTN

    July 1, 2021 at 9:35 pm

    @HinTN:

    It is an inferior cut compared to porterhouse.

  28. 28.

    brantl

    July 1, 2021 at 9:36 pm

    @NotMax: GOD, I love ribeyes! Beats the hell out of a filet.

  29. 29.

    Another Scott

    July 1, 2021 at 9:37 pm

    @WaterGirl: Pelosi’s statement was good:

    Washington, D.C. – Speaker Nancy Pelosi today named her appointments to a bipartisan Select Committee to examine and report upon the facts and causes relating to the terrorist mob attack on the United States Capitol Complex on January 6th, 2021.

    “January 6th was one of the darkest days in our nation’s history, with five people killed, 140 members of law enforcement physically harmed and countless more seriously traumatized,” said Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “It is clear that January 6th was not simply an attack on a building, but an attack on our very democracy: an attack on the peaceful transfer of power. It is imperative that we find the truth of that day and ensure that such an assault on our Capitol and Democracy cannot ever again happen.”

    “It had been our hope to establish a bipartisan, independent National Commission, but there is no prospect for that Commission at this time,” continued Speaker Pelosi. “Yesterday, the House established the Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the U.S. Capitol. Today, I am proud to name Members who will patriotically honor our oath and our responsibility to the American people: to seek the truth.”

    The Members of the Committee are:

    * Chair Bennie Thompson: Chair of Homeland Security Committee
    * Chair Zoe Lofgren: Chair of Committee on House Administration
    * Chair Adam Schiff: Chair of House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence
    * Rep. Pete Aguilar, House Administration and Appropriations Committees
    * Rep. Liz Cheney, Armed Services Committee
    * Rep. Stephanie Murphy, Armed Services Committee
    *Rep. Jamie Raskin, Oversight and Judiciary Committees
    *Rep. Elaine Luria, Navy veteran, Armed Services and Homeland Security Committees

    The Select Committee on the January 6th Insurrection will investigate and report upon the facts and causes of the terrorist mob attack on the United States Capitol on January 6th, 2021. It will also be charged with reporting its findings, conclusions and recommendations for preventing future attacks. The Committee will be bipartisan, with thirteen members appointed by the Speaker, five of whom will be appointed after consultation with the Minority Leader.

    “As we enter the Fourth of July weekend to observe the birth of our nation, we do so with increased responsibility to honor the vision of our Founders and to defend our American Democracy.”

    McQarthy apparently is saying that his people won’t participate (“or else”). It’s not clear to me whether the 8 are it or whether she’ll appoint 5 more when Qevin says “no”.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  30. 30.

    Nicole

    July 1, 2021 at 9:37 pm

    I’m pretty envious about that pistachio pudding. I like pudding and I like pistachios.

  31. 31.

    HumboldtBlue

    July 1, 2021 at 9:39 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    Bennie Thompson has been in Congress in ’93 and is the chair of the house committee on homeland security, a role he held during the Obama years as well.

    Via Wiki

  32. 32.

    Skepticat

    July 1, 2021 at 9:40 pm

    Wasted half a day going to the big island for a COVID test I need in order to return to the States, then ran all over hell’s half acre helping a friend retrieve guests coming in on the ferry. Did a little packing for Saturday departure, and now I’m watching storm track spaghetti models sneering at me and saying they’re going to rearrange my piles of salvage from Dorian. I’m drinking straight vodka and about to start soaking my feet (and perhaps my head) in epsom salt. Life is good.

  33. 33.

    James E Powell

    July 1, 2021 at 9:41 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    Pelosi chose Cheney to make sure there was at least one Republican because McCarthy is trying to keep Rs off altogether. If he changes his mind and appoints Trumpster Republicans, we’ve got one who isn’t.

  34. 34.

    NotMax

    July 1, 2021 at 9:43 pm

    @HinTN

    Most expensive item was the crab cakes, which as the hours became later came with a side of stinkeye from the waitress (owner/bartender’s wife, also the cook) when ordered, as they were made to order by hand.

  35. 35.

    Alison Rose

    July 1, 2021 at 9:44 pm

    @laura:  Which Santa Rosa would this happen to be?

  36. 36.

    O. Felix Culpa

    July 1, 2021 at 9:44 pm

    @James E Powell:  I believe Nancy has veto power over any of Kevin McQ’s appointments, so she can keep the most noxious troublemakers out.

  37. 37.

    James E Powell

    July 1, 2021 at 9:47 pm

    @Another Scott:

    Interesting factoid from wikipedia:

    On March 3, 2021, Thompson was the only House Democrat to vote against the For the People Act, a top legislative priority of House Democrats that would reform campaign finance and election laws and expand voting rights. Despite initially cosponsoring the bill, Thompson said his vote “was no accident”, explaining, “My constituents opposed the redistricting portion of the bill as well as the section on public finances. I always listen and vote in the interest of my constituents.”

    Doesn’t matter for the Jan 6 committee, probably doesn’t matter at all, but I thought it was interesting.

  38. 38.

    Ken

    July 1, 2021 at 9:48 pm

    @Another Scott: It’s not clear to me whether the 8 are it or whether she’ll appoint 5 more when Qevin says “no”.

    As I understand it, the rules say that she appoints all 13 members after consultation with the minority leader.  If that consultation consists of “Are you going to name anyone?” “No”, she can name five more Democrats.

    (Actually, and again as I understand it, she can name five more Democrats even if he gives her five names, but that might drive some members of the press to their fainting couches.)

  39. 39.

    Skepticat

    July 1, 2021 at 9:48 pm

    @O. Felix Culpa: I believe Nancy has veto power over any of Kevin McQ’s appointments, so she can keep the most noxious troublemakers out.

    Oh, please, lawd, I hope so.

  40. 40.

    Betty

    July 1, 2021 at 9:50 pm

    Sounds like a good committee, but I really wish Raskin was chair. He is so good. Don’t know much about Thompson. Hope they can expose the truth, especially with regard to elected officials.

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    July 1, 2021 at 9:50 pm

    @James E Powell: Pelosi has to approve his 5, so I don’t think she’ll stand for bullshit people who only want to disrupt.

  42. 42.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 9:51 pm

    @Suzanne: that was a heck of a storm. Rain pretty much flying sideways for a bit. Seems calm now and I welcome 70 degree temps

    Welcome to DC!

  43. 43.

    Rob

    July 1, 2021 at 9:53 pm

    @Caphilldcne: ​  I’m in Silver Spring/Takoma Park just north of the DC line and all we had was a lot of thunder and a half-inch of rain. I did have my eye on the tornado warnings though. I’m glad you and Suzanne are safe​

    eta: Welcome to DC! May the rest of your stay be calmer

  44. 44.

    NotMax

    July 1, 2021 at 9:54 pm

    @Caphilldcne

    “Mother Nature storms Capitol. Film at 11.”

  45. 45.

    Omnes Omnibus

    July 1, 2021 at 9:55 pm

    @Betty: I am pretty sure Pelosi wouldn’t have named an incompetent as chair.

  46. 46.

    Suzanne

    July 1, 2021 at 9:55 pm

    @Caphilldcne: Thanks, just here for a couple of days. Haven’t seen a storm like that since living in PHX.

  47. 47.

    Spanky

    July 1, 2021 at 9:56 pm

    @Caphilldcne: This stuff is traveling so fast that that bit that went over you is over Annapolis now.

    Not much so far down here in SOMD.

  48. 48.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 9:58 pm

    @Rob: thanks Rob!  My neighbor’s cat Jackpot hit the deck and crawled under the couch as soon as the alarms went off. He’s feisty and loves to bloody me up so I knew to take it seriously.

  49. 49.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 10:00 pm

    @Suzanne: it’s pretty unusual here too tho we do get thunderstorms. I appreciate not having to water but it looks like I lost one of my pepper plants.

  50. 50.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?

    July 1, 2021 at 10:00 pm

    @Rob: I’m in TKPK too! Had no idea there were tornado warnings.

  51. 51.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 10:01 pm

    @Spanky: yeah it was in and out in minutes. Neighbor said it was traveling 35 mph. That’s something else

  52. 52.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 10:01 pm

    @NotMax: hahaha I’m sure someone got awesome film of it coming across the mall!

  53. 53.

    A woman from anywhere (formerly Mohagan)

    July 1, 2021 at 10:02 pm

    @brantl: Yes, yes, yes! Rib-eye rules.

  54. 54.

    Spanky

    July 1, 2021 at 10:04 pm

     

    @What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?: Ah! A couple of Takoma Park commies. Were you there when Sammie Abbott used to get Pete Seeger down for the folk festival?

  55. 55.

    Villago Delenda Est

    July 1, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    @Ken: but that might drive some members of the press to their fainting couches.

    The vermin of the Village can all go fuck off.

  56. 56.

    H.E.Wolf

    July 1, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    Bennie Thompson’s bio: https://benniethompson.house.gov/about

    Among other things, Rep. Thompson is one of the African-American Committee Chairpersons in the current US House… so it’s unlikely he’ll have much common cause with white supremacists.​​

    ETA: Gorram those data mice, they messed up the link.

    ETA2: the mice are not to blame for my misspelling (now corrected).

  57. 57.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    @What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?: I think I might be signed up for warnings?  My phone went off with alerts about the tornado. Might want to check settings. Takoma may have been outside the warning. It was startling. I appreciated it. Also been getting flood warnings.

  58. 58.

    Spanky

    July 1, 2021 at 10:08 pm

    @Caphilldcne: I used to get those warnings, but I really don’t remember if they were from Verizon, NWS, or one of the other apps. Or even if I’m still subscribed and just haven’t had a warning.

    I’ve got a lightning detector app that is annoying as hell right now.

  59. 59.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 10:12 pm

    @Spanky: I’ve got ATT but guessing it’s something you can add in settings. I’ll skip the lightning indicator. I just look at the flashes and count 1 alligator up until I hear the thunder to guess how far away it is.

  60. 60.

    mrmoshpotato

    July 1, 2021 at 10:14 pm

    @Tom Levenson:

    Want ribeye.

    How big is this ribeye-for-days?

  61. 61.

    NotMax

    July 1, 2021 at 10:15 pm

    Anyone else remember the steak dinner at Jack in the Box?

    NYers will remember (with wildly varying degrees of fondness) Tad’s.

  62. 62.

    Rob

    July 1, 2021 at 10:15 pm

    @Caphilldcne:

    @What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?:

    I was sitting at home, on my laptop, with a Twitter DC weather list and the weather service pages open so I was watching from anear/afar as this storm took shape. I have family in Arlington, I emailed them to see how they are.

  63. 63.

    Another Scott

    July 1, 2021 at 10:17 pm

    Speaking of retirement communities…

    *rains for 5.9 seconds*

    Vegas drivers: pic.twitter.com/xXwEXOTVnv

    — Las Vegas Locally ? (@LasVegasLocally) July 1, 2021

    I didn’t think minivans could do that.

    (via IamHappyToast)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  64. 64.

    Rob

    July 1, 2021 at 10:17 pm

    @NotMax: No, but I remember working at Jack in the Box one July 4 (and into July 5) when I was a teenager. It was the only place open that late at night so the line for the drive-in were several blocks long.

  65. 65.

    James E Powell

    July 1, 2021 at 10:19 pm

    @Betty:

    Rep. Thompson is the current chair of the Committee on Homeland Security. He was also chair from 2007-2011.

    I’m going to speculate that he has staff well-connected with the relevant federal agencies as well as relationships with people in those agencies. Likely to be critical in this investigation.

  66. 66.

    Betty

    July 1, 2021 at 10:22 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:  I didn’t say that. I just find Raskin to be excellent. To each his own.

  67. 67.

    Omnes Omnibus

    July 1, 2021 at 10:24 pm

    @Betty: I didn’t say that you did.

  68. 68.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    July 1, 2021 at 10:27 pm

    Have some good news

    Apoorva Mandavilli @apoorva_nyc 1h
    NEW: The J&J coronavirus vaccine is effective against the highly contagious Delta variant, even eight months after inoculation, the company reported on Thursday — a finding that should reassure the 11 million Americans who have gotten the shot.

  69. 69.

    NotMax

    July 1, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    @Rob

    Scored a free steak dinner there once. It was grand opening for the Maui location. Stopped in after closing up my shop for the day to check it out, on the way to the night deposit at the bank. Place was packed to the rafters.

    Overheard the manager telling cashiers to make a point of asking for small bills as they were running very low on singles. Motioned him over and quickly explained my situation, upon which a big smile appeared on his face.

    Went and got the bank pouch from my vehicle, met him in his office and counted out 100 ones in exchange for a $100 bill from him and an ebullient “Order whatever you want, it’s on the house.”

  70. 70.

    Spanky

    July 1, 2021 at 10:30 pm

    Shit, I just pulled another lone star tick off my ankle. Third or fourth tick bite this year. I know he wasn’t on me 20 minutes ago.

  71. 71.

    Rob

    July 1, 2021 at 10:34 pm

    @NotMax: That’s a great story!

  72. 72.

    Steeplejack

    July 1, 2021 at 10:35 pm

    @Caphilldcne:

    I get an odd mixture of weather alerts—some on my phone, some on my Chromebook. Although I realize that on the latter it’s when I’m streaming some video from Cox. (I’m in Falls Church.) I was fuming earlier because the alerts were interrupting Vera on WETA—“I know it’s raining! I don’t get flash flooding around here!”—and then I saw “Tornado warning.” Okay, you’ve got my attention now. They said Ballston, which is about two miles east of me, but the front was moving east at quite a clip, so I figured the tornado would have already hit me if it was going to.

    Biggest storm we’ve had in quite a while.

  73. 73.

    HumboldtBlue

    July 1, 2021 at 10:37 pm

    @NotMax: ​ 
    Great story!

  74. 74.

    Steeplejack

    July 1, 2021 at 10:39 pm

    @Another Scott:

    Stuck the landing.

  75. 75.

    CaseyL

    July 1, 2021 at 10:43 pm

    Storm alerts on the phone? Sounds like fun if, like me, you love thunderstorms. Sounds like anything but fun, for tornado warnings.

    Weather doesn’t freak me out – the wilder, the better – but I think tornadoes would, because they’re unpredictable. It’s not like you get enough warning to evacuate, either!

  76. 76.

    Lyrebird

    July 1, 2021 at 10:44 pm

    @WaterGirl: ​
     

    Hey WG!

    Wishing you a great start to your Jul 4 weekend!

    I was feeling pretty feisty lately, bouncing back after the end of the semester slump. Felt a little self conscious after seeing those photos of Adam visiting TaMara with the great stories of Bixby, though, because the portions of his face left in the pics look so young. I am not much younger than Cole. More gray though.

    Ah well, seize the day one has I guess.

  77. 77.

    Caphilldcne

    July 1, 2021 at 10:57 pm

    @CaseyL: yeah the flash flood warnings aren’t that helpful. I live on Capitol HILL. Now H street …

  78. 78.

    Ruckus

    July 1, 2021 at 11:14 pm

    @Ken:

    but that might drive some members of the press to their fainting couches

    Oh my god, the horror, Fainting Couches, what is the world coming to…..

  79. 79.

    hoosierspud

    July 1, 2021 at 11:49 pm

    1. I thought I was in granny mode this week, shelling peas and taking a quilting class. You win, Cole.
  80. 80.

    Boomzilla

    July 2, 2021 at 2:21 am

    I thought Rosie was pining for the fjords.

     

    Now I like a big idiot.  Which is not an unusual feeling.

     

    It’s just larger than is typical.

     

    Boomzilla

  81. 81.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?

    July 2, 2021 at 6:45 am

    @Caphilldcne: I got the warnings way earlier in the day but not last night.

     

    @Spanky: I’ve only been here for 10 years so that was way before my time.

  82. 82.

    HeartlandLiberal

    July 2, 2021 at 7:13 am

    Thanks for the reminder, I need to get Epson Salts to work into soil around my tomatoes. Repeated testing of soil show magnesium deficiency, and good level of it in the soil makes for good tomatoes.

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