Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

There are some who say that there are too many strawmen arguments on this blog.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

If you’re gonna whine, it’s time to resign!

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Everybody saw this coming.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Those who are easily outraged are easily manipulated.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

People identifying as christian while ignoring christ and his teachings is a strange thing indeed.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / PICKLES AND KRAUT

PICKLES AND KRAUT

by | 65 Comments

This post is in: 

I have been busy- between picking and cleaning berries, making pickles, and eating my weight in fresh fruit, I have not had much time for anything. Today I am making not one, not two, but three crocks worth of kraut. I am ready.

In other news, I have a friend who is worse at texting than me, and she accidentally hits the return button a lot so all of her texts look like a Vogon poetry session attempting haikus:

“I am going to the grocery
store Kroger
this afternoon
Do you need
Anything”

Reader Interactions

65Comments

  1. 1.

    Danielx

    Your day is going better than mine – stopped up floor drain cost 125 to get fixed, but water damage to bamboo flooring, carpet and FSM knows what else. Fuck fuckity fuck…

  2. 2.

    satby

    At least she can get through to someone when she texts. Day ±5 for me not being able to text IPhones, which everyone I know has, unless I include a stupid GIF so that it’s MMS instead of SMS.

    Occasional GIFs: fun. Having to use them every message: teh suxxxs.

    Edit: I get their SMS text messages fine. They wondered if I had died because they thought I wasn’t replying.

  4. 4.

    Ken

    “I am going to the grocery
    store Kroger
    this afternoon
    Do you need
    Anything”

    Burma-Shave

  5. 5.

    Ohio Mom

    Danielx:
    I’ve heard it said that water is the homeowner’s worse enemy.

    My day’s task is untangling a health insurance snafu. I won’t take it out on the hapless souls on the other end of the line — I am always sure to be pleasant and gracious — but I’d really like to kick something.

  6. 6.

    Spanky

    Not sure you can be trash talking someone else’s texting in a post you’ve titled in all caps.

    OTOH, that would be something you’d shout, now innit?

  8. 8.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I am a member of a six-person Messenger group of friends/former colleagues. Just learned this morning that one of them has been in Ottawa General hospital for the past five days, and another is sitting in the ER at Emory hospital right now. I am concerned.

  9. 9.

    Anonymous At Work

    Making a comment so someone else will shoulder the burden of making an appropriate Haiku about going to the grocery store.

  10. 10.

    piratedan

    radishes red smear

    cleanup on aisle three

    aisle three

    price check on lima beans

    lima beans?

  15. 15.

    CaseyL

    Loving the grocery store haikus!

    Yesterday the weather was perfect, so I went to the Ballard Locks, watched some boats come and go, and then crossed the lock canal to meander around the nearby neighborhood.  I’ve very rarely been in that area, and never on foot, so it was a lot of fun.

    @SiubhanDuinne: Hope your friends recover and come through okay!  5 days in the hospital sounds serious, so extra good thoughts going their way.

  16. 16.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    I just came back from the gym. The instructor is 8 months pregnant with twins, and she crushed me.

    OTOH, my tentative new book is starting to intrigue me, and I get to work on it this afternoon.

  18. 18.

    Betty Cracker

    I just did something I haven’t done in more than 20 years: I bailed a boat! The mister and I have a very detailed labor-sharing agreement, and not ever having to bail boats or mow the lawn were high on my priority list when we were dividing tasks. (I was made to bail boats as a child all the time because my dad had a dive shop/marina.)

    But Elsa is headed our way to drop several inches of rain, and it’s rained a lot lately, so several inches had accrued in our little jon boat even though the mister had bailed several times this week. Didn’t seem fair to make him have to bail the boat again in the pouring rain when he comes home from work, so I did it. It wasn’t as odious a task as I recalled, but then we only have one boat and my dad’s business had more than a dozen. But I’m not ever mowing the fucking lawn!

  19. 19.

    lowtechcyclist

    I have eaten

    the plums
    that were in
    the icebox

    and which
    you were probably
    saving
    for breakfast

    Forgive me
    they were delicious
    so sweet
    and so cold

    This is just to say
    you might want to
    pick up some more

  22. 22.

    Hoodie

    Speaking of kraut, I have a buddy who worked with a brick mason who ate a quart of kraut and a handful of pickled eggs for lunch every day, topped off with an unfiltered lucky. My friend said the guy had the worst flatulence imaginable.

  26. 26.

    sab

    @Betty Cracker: We had a tiny sailboat (a sailfish) and the only part I was allowed to work was the centerboard. My brother got to work the rudder and the sails. So I haven’t been sailing since age 12 and haven’t missed ot at all.

  30. 30.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @dr. bloor:

    So much depends

    upon

    A chrome shopping

    cart

    Glazed with leaking meat

    juice

    Next to the half off

    pineapple.

  32. 32.

    Van Buren

    My puppy has decided to show off her newly discovered skill of picking things up with her mouth and moving them to new spots.

    Dog bed: no problem

    Blanky: no problem

    Food bowl: no problem

    Water bowl: now I have to get up off the couch.

  38. 38.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Spanky:

    Not sure you can be trash talking someone else’s texting in a post you’ve titled in all caps.

    OTOH, that would be something you’d shout, now innit?

    What is this world you live in where PICKLES AND KRAUT aren’t shouted about?

  39. 39.

    Ken

    @MomSense: Ever wonder how we humans ended up reverting to the digital equivalent of hieroglyphics?

    Secret overlords
    Beneath Gizan pyramids
    Beam mind control rays

  40. 40.

    dr. bloor

    PICKLES AND KRAUT: the latest collection of poems by the BJ commentariat.

    Coming soon to a check-out line near you.

  44. 44.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    What size crocks are you using? I have a 5 liter Harsch crock and that makes enough kraut to last a few months, minimum. And being of Pennsylvania Dutch descent on my mom’s side I’m guessing I eat more kraut than the average American.

  46. 46.

    geg6

    @What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?:

    My granddad had two of those and, being a first gen German American (my mom’s maiden name was Schnell), he made Bavarian style kraut in them every year, one for him and my grandmother and one for our family as my mom was an only child.  Damn, that stuff was good.  Haven’t had any kraut as good since he passed.

  48. 48.

    Shana

    @dr. bloor: This Is Just To Say by William Carlos Williams

    I have eaten

    the plums

    that were

    in the icebox

     

    and which

    you were probably

    saving

    for breakfast

     

    Forgive me

    they were delicious

    so sweet

    and so cold

  49. 49.

    Michael Cain

    Unless I am at home, where I can switch my Bluetooth keyboard to pair with my phone, I confine my texting to one-word answers to other people’s messages. God(s) gave me ten fingers, I learned to use nine of them to type (poor left thumb just hangs there, forever hopeful), and at my advanced age I refuse to learn hunt-and-peck.​
     
    I am also reluctant to speak answers in public.

  50. 50.

    EmbraceYourInnerCrone

    @Danielx: oh crap. So sorry this happened to you. Water damage sucks. I have two wet dry vacs…unfortunately they have seen some use. Bleh!

  52. 52.

    Ms. Deranged in AZ

    I’ve finally figured out the blogfathers superpower (beyond dour sarcasm and fantastically entertaining rants)–its his intestines.  If I ate the way he does I’d build up enough gas to travel to the next solar system over and be in constant agony.  So I salute your guts of steel, Mr. Cole.

  54. 54.

    Just One More Canuck

    @piratedan: Sounds like something out of Lord of the Rings.

    “We hear drums, drums in the deep. They are coming”

  55. 55.

    StringOnAStick

    Lately I’ve fallen for fresh bread and butter pickle chips because they aren’t nearly as sweet.  They are, however, expensive.  Anyone have a recipe that results in something like the Sonoma Brinery fresh sweet pickles?

  57. 57.

    Kristine

    @StringOnAStick:

    Lately I’ve fallen for fresh bread and butter pickle chips because they aren’t nearly as sweet.

    As an aside, I’ve taken to pickling grapes–many recipes online. I make sure to add some sort of chili pepper, such as jalapeño, to give them bite. Nice addition to a cheese plate or charcuterie board.

    Also, spiced beet & red onion jam. I just don’t add as much sugar as is usually called for because beets are sweet enough for crying out loud.

  58. 58.

    Jeffery

    Found the first kirby cucumber the other day and gave it to my neighbor not planning on eat it anytime soon. Next day went out to check the kirby vines and found 5 ready to pick lying on the ground which I didn’t see the day before.  Made a jar of refrigerator pickles which are nearly gone.

  61. 61.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @geg6:  The Germans eat tons of kraut…the 5 liter version is the smallest Harsch crock you can buy. I also have mason jar lids with air locks (the same type of air lock equipment used in home beer brewing) so I can do smaller batches. Making it is pretty easy so long as your cabbage is reasonably fresh – it should be heavy for its size as that means it still has a high water content – and you get the salt to cabbage ratio right, and use kosher or sea salt – do NOT use iodized salt as the iodine will kill the microbes that ferment the cabbage and you will just wind up with moldy cabbage rather than sauerkraut.

    If you want to try it at home a mason jar plus a lid with a built in air lock would be a cheap way to give it a go. The crocks are pricey.

  62. 62.

    Kristine

    @NotMax:

    Heh. First read that as spiced beef and red onion jam until moved along to the next sentence.

    That probably would be good, in a mincemeat sort of way.

  64. 64.

    dmk

    This is the recipe I use from a dear friend who has since gone to the great garden in the sky.  I use whatever cucumbers I have in the garden that year, especially pretty with Armenian Cucumbers (which I don’t peel, but do cut length wise and seed).

    Lynelle’s Bread and Butter Pickles

     

    Canning

    Difficulty Easy ∙ Source Lynelle

    INGREDIENTS

    3.25 pounds cucumbers

    1 small onion

    1/4 cup kosher salt

    2.5 cups Cider vinegar

    1.75 cups sugar

    5 cloves

    1 tablespoon mustard seeds

    1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric

    3/4 cups water

    DIRECTIONS

    Using the V-slicer, slice the cucumber crosswise into 1/4 inch slices (gros, not fin). Place in a large colander. Slice onion into small rings with the V-slicer (fin, not gros). Add to the colander, toss well with salt, let rest for 3 hours. Rinse lightly with cold water, let drain.

    Add all the remaining ingredients to the 5 qt. All-Clad, bring to a boil.

    Meanwhile, start a hot water bath in the big Calphalon pot about 1/3 full. Once it is hot, put 5 pint jars in the hot water, along with 5 lids (can turn the fire off).

    Add the rinsed and drained cucumber and onions to the brine in the All-clad, turn up flame to high, and warm the mixture, but don’t bring to a boil.

    Hot pack the veggies into the jars (should fill 4, the fifth will probably be partial). Distribute the brine evenly over the jars. Make sure that the seeds and cloves get spread around, also. Put lids and rings on the full jars, and put in hot water bath for 5 minutes. Remove to towels, let cool.

    Once the partial jar is cool, store in fridge. Leave a few weeks before eating. Sealed jars can be stored in the pantry.

  65. 65.

    Comrade Colette

    I got a big bag of “ugly” mushrooms (actually just fine, not sure why they were in the ugly section) at the farmer’s market the other day, so I made pickled mushrooms. Yum. I am the only person chez Colette who likes them, so they are MINE ALL MINE.

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