Our featured writer today is Kelly Price!
Let’s give her a warm welcome.
If you would like your talent featured in the Artists in Our Midst series or Authors in Our Midst series, send me an email message. Don’t be shy! I have no more Artists posts in the queue, so please get in touch if you would like to be featured.
by Kelly Price
This is a story of unconditional love under extraordinary circumstances.
In the autumn of 2018 I took a transgender boy I had met only once out to lunch, anticipating becoming an adult friend and mentor to him as he worked his way through college and his transition. I ended up becoming his mother. He and I tell this tale together. “Somewhere Under the Rainbow” is our story. It’s got everything – intrigue, action, irreverent humor, romance, noodles, math… wait. Math?
Yup.
We try to approach serious topics – mental health issues, gender related healthcare, college concerns, dating, siblings, and so forth – with humor and candor. We explore the integration of an unexpected addition into a family from both points of view and we look at how being transgender colors everything Jayce does.
Allow me to introduce the authors. Yours truly is a fiftyish hippie type lady with too much hair, usually sporting a Pride shirt. Jayce is a cute college kid with a ready smile and a hell of a lot of energy. We often say that we share the same brain; we are eerily alike. This book has an unusual voice for the genre of books on LGBTQ parenthood. We have natural goofiness and vivid imaginations. My brain especially tends to send images and ideas from somewhere deep in the limbic system all the way to the cortex that are totally inappropriate for whatever the situation at hand might be. I am the sort of person who has to guard against giggling at solemn occasions because an irrelevant but funny image or story will occur to me. I have been known to literally wake up laughing.
75% of the kids in the Price household are somewhere under the Rainbow, meaning they fit under the LGBTQ umbrella. 100% of Price kids are glorious human beings with a wide array of talents and characteristics. Their father and I routinely look at them and shake our heads in astonishment that we’ve been granted a hand in raising these extraordinary people.
The book is an exploration of what it’s like to live under the Rainbow, what it’s like to parent kids who live their lives beneath those brilliant colors, and what we’d like the world to know. Parenting LGBTQ kids is very much like parenting every other sort of kids. They get lumped together because they share the characteristic of membership in a marginalized group. The statistics on these kids are sobering. 52% of trans kids have seriously considered suicide in the past year according to the Trevor Project’s annual survey. They make up 40% of kids in foster care. One in four loses their home when they come out. They’re more likely to engage in risky behaviors and self-harm. Most of this is because they’re discriminated against. They get bullied, forced into the wrong bathrooms, told they can’t possibly be who they know they are, the list goes on and on.
Transgender kids are not a tragedy! They’re just kids! Granted, they might require some specialized care, but every kid has something to contend with. The fact of their gender status really shouldn’t be any more relevant than it is for kids who feel aligned with the gender assignments they receive at birth.
We believe the voices of ordinary families who are on journeys that involve gender expansiveness need to be louder than the ignorant, hateful rhetoric that pervades our nation’s legislative chambers today. The only think tank that should get a say in the destinies of LGBTQ kids and their families is those same kids and families. Bigotry has no place here. We believe that when our kids tell us who they are, we are being given a privilege and a sacred trust that needs to be treated with care. We believe that all LGBTQ and gender expansive kids are kids first, and like any other kids they need to play sports and do chores and be loved and grow up.
We’re glad you’re here. Welcome. We hope you enjoy our story.
And we have video!
Kelly Price
Jayce will be on and off as well. We are glad to be here!
WaterGirl
Welcome, Kelly! And Jayce, also.
Kelly Price
@WaterGirl: Thanks so much. I am so glad we get to do this.
Sister Golden Bear
Welcome! And thank you for sharing your and Jayce’s story!
Also THANK YOU for being a supportive ally and mentor! As you talked about far too few of our LGBTQ+ kids do.
Scout211
Hi Kelly and Jayce. I am in awe of you for sharing your family story with the world. It will help so many young people and their family members I am sure. It sounds like yours is a house full of love.
I like the title and its meaning. There are so many different ways people see themselves and no two people are exactly alike. It took my sister’s child until they were an adult to find themselves and feel comfortable being gender queer. They are so much happier now.
A loving and accepting family can make such a difference. It sounds like Jayce found such a family as he became part of yours. ?️⚧️?️? ?
Jayce
@Scout211: Thank you very much. I have found power in sharing this story and what chosen family really means
Jayce
@WaterGirl: Thank you!
Kelly Price
@Sister Golden Bear: you’re right. I tell people the hardest part of raising our queer kids is the fact that they will have friends who are hurting, abused, in danger, or otherwise in crisis.
Kelly Price
@Scout211: Congratulations to your sister’s kiddo! I hope they are happy and healthy.
lifeinthebonusround
We have a great-them, 16, non-binary, supportive parents, less than supportive grandparents etc. We’re a couple of old (70s) cis gay guys who love them dearly, don’t see enough of them (they’re 2,000 miles away), struggling to stay connected in these trying times. Looking forward to reading your book, thanks for your work!
Jayce
@lifeinthebonusround: Thank you for supporting these amazing kids and thank you for listening to our story.
Yutsano
Thank you for being such an inspiration. I have had two friends come out as trans in the last year. One was a complete surprise one was totally unsurprising and I wonder why she waited so long. I’m finding myself still learning as I go along. One friend put out a picture of herself and she was so stunningly beautiful I almost had a loss for words.
zhena gogolia
It sounds as if you have a wonderful family, and the book looks great.
CarolPW
This looks lovely, and I am so happy this book exists. Kind of like the old Doctor Spock’s guidance for the parental mostly lost and clueless, except about parenting LGBTQ kids and their kin. I hope lots of people read it. I also hope a lot of evil people ban it because that always increases readership!
@Kelly Price: Do you actually in real life look like Jayce’s biological son or is it just that photo? Fated to be, obviously.
Jayce
@zhena gogolia: My family is my other half and I’m forever lucky to have found them all.
Jayce
@CarolPW: No we really do look this much alike. I was born in Russia across the world, and we look related.
Lyrebird
@Kelly Price: Thank you so much! I have fewer kiddos but am kinda overwhelmed, not going to comment much beyond
YAY!!
LOVE MAKES A FAMILY!
And your story makes me wish I could adopt some more kiddos, especially ones who might be trans.
Jayce
@Yutsano: Everyone has so much to learn. We hope that our story makes it a little easier to navigate.
RaflW
Some random tweet this morning got me to go down a rabbit hole about Wendy Carlos (Switched on Bach musician, though this crowd probably knows that).
It’s amazing how long ago she transitioned. I didn’t know till today that she wore a male wig and stick-on mutton chop sideburns for a 70s BBC special about the Moog synthesizer because she wasn’t ready (aka society wasn’t ready) to come out.
To the OP topic, this book looks great! Thanks for writing, and for this thread.
Lyrebird
@Jayce: Special shout out to YOU!
GO YOU!
Me and one of my sons want to write books together, but so far we are just thinking fan fiction. Your example is really inspiring.
Kelly Price
@lifeinthebonusround: thank you. We hope you like it.
phdesmond
love the idea of a Dr. Spock book for LBBTQ kids! hey, this could be it. :-)
Kelly Price
@Yutsano: Congratulations to her! There are more and more people in the trans community just going about their business and living their lives. It’s pretty cool.
raven
Here’s a video about my friend Kade (his dad is one of my best friends) and his folks. It’s from 1999 and Kade now has his MSW and is doing great.
Kelly Price
@zhena gogolia: Thank you!
Kelly Price
@CarolPW: We hear all the time how alike we look. The boy was clearly destined to be my kid. Either that or there was a trip to Russia sometime in the winter of 1999-2000 that I have totally spaced.
Kelly Price
@Lyrebird: If you’d like I have connections to some useful resources for families supporting LGBTQ kids. I’ll toss them all out here a bit later on.
Kelly Price
@raven: Good for Kade! My 18 year old son is also trans, his name is Kaiden. He wasn’t out when we got Jayce, though.
CarolPW
@Kelly Price: Shit – I got your names mixed up, sorry! Nothing like misgendering people on a thread like this.
Kelly Price
@Lyrebird: Go do it. You never know!
RaflW
Also, are there The Voice fans on BJ? The father son duo of Jim and Sasha Allen has really caught my attention. Another family where parents are showing everyone how to love their whole, beautiful kids.
Kelly Price
@CarolPW: Ha no worries. We do look a little tiny bit alike. Hey Jayce, think I could pass for 21? Or is it more like you can pass for 53?
Kelly Price
@phdesmond: Well, some of the stuff we tried did work. So who knows?
raven
@Kelly Price: Nice, it’s amazing what a little support can do.
Regine Touchon
@Kelly Price: Thanks to both you and Jayce for sharing your story. It’s uplifting in so many ways and will recommend your book to a circle of friends who will appreciate it. As someone else said on this thread you guys look uncannily alike! And Kelly there is no such thing as too much hair. I always am amazed by people who let their tresses cascade over their shoulders to the nether parts of their bodies. Fantastic.
Kelly Price
@RaflW: Thank you!
rikyrah
Beautiful story???
zhena gogolia
@CarolPW: Deleted because redundant!
Jayce
@Lyrebird: yes, love makes a family. Not blood
Jayce
@Lyrebird: Thank you so much!
Kelly Price
@Regine Touchon: Aww, thank you! I do not, alas, have Jayce’s hair. Before he transitioned that kid had gorgeous hair, about which he didn’t care one whit.
Jayce
@Kelly Price: I could pass for 16
Jayce
@rikyrah: thank you!!
Kelly Price
@Jayce: Oh good, then so can I…
Kelly Price
@WaterGirl:
Link to a video we did with Colin Mochrie (from “Whose Line Is It Anyway”) and his wife Debra McGrath (from Second City as well as a lot of other places) about life with our trans kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoEyNRVoX8s
Would you like to add this to the top post in case people would like to see it?
WaterGirl
@Kelly Price: Video added up top.
debbie
Would it be too superficial to say that’s a beautiful cover? I love both the photograph and the font!
Dan B
Just got back from errands and there was a younggay couple and BIPOC, immigrants, etc. Everyone just getting along. I wish more people could experience this sense of the wonder of diversity. And then here on my phone is this story intro that makes me tear up. Thanks to both of you who are who you are and for bringing joy to a place where there is too much ignorance and too much politics.
I came out in the early 60’s when LGBTQ people were invisible – the love that dare not speak its name – or considered predatory and mentally ill. The feeling of being completely alone comes to me all too easily. Your story is very important.
Jayce
@debbie: Not at all, our friend Michelle took the photo and the rainbow was added
Dorothy A. Winsor
What a great story. And a book that promises to make the world better.
Kelly Price
@debbie: Thank you! That photo is courtesy of our amazing friend Michelle Pesce who is a killer photographer combined with the graphic design skills of my old friend Joel Bass.
Kristine
Thank you for the uplifting cap to the weekend.
bluegirlfromwyo
Thank you for being here. I look forward to learning from you. Definitely ordering your book! Is there a site you’d prefer that we order from?
Jayce
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Thank you!
Kelly Price
@Dan B: I remember going to PFLAG meetings in the early 1980s when they didn’t disclose the location of the place we were meeting for security reasons. I also remember taking care of gay men with HIV in the early 1990s in San Francisco when their partners weren’t allowed to visit… and their families wouldn’t. Some of those sweet boys had nobody but me at the end of their lives.
Jayce
@bluegirlfromwyo: amazon or Barnes and noble is good. Find the links at undertherainbowbook.com
Kelly Price
@bluegirlfromwyo: Doesn’t matter, whatever is most convenient for you wherever you are.
Lyrebird
That would be awesome. I will look back here even if other threads have posted since… if you could include the word “resources” again that would be over and above kind.
Kelly Price
@Kristine: You’re welcome! We have a lot of fun together and always have.
Kelly Price
@Lyrebird: Here’s our resource list!
Almost Retired
Wonderful, can’t wait to read it! Looks like a terrific story. You mentioned the Trevor Project. Are you in contact with them in any way?
Kelly Price
@Almost Retired: Not personally, no, but I have called them for kids to be able to talk with crisis clinicians. They are an amazing organization.
West of the Rockies
I look forward to reading your book! My daughter is majoring in psychology and minoring in queer studies at UofO. Her partner is a trans boy (I’ve not yet met him but hope I do soon). My own bi wife is an MFT specializing in the T community. Your book will be a super great addition to our shelves!
jonas
I had no idea that Colin Mochrie and his wife were involved in trans advocacy. Good for them! Been a big fan for a long time, so this was nice to know.
Kelly Price
Also here are some people to look up.
Amanda Jette Knox – author of “Love Lives Here” and the Maven of Mayhem blog. Amanda tells the story of life in their home when not only did a child come out, so did Amanda’s wife. They have a beautiful family.
Sara Cunningham – Founder of Free Mom Hugs and author of “How We Sleep At Night: A Mother’s Memoir” about her experience supporting her son
Kimberly and Kai Shappley: Kai is the little girl behind the 2018 Emmy winning documentary “Trans In America: Texas Strong.” Kai’s mother is the person standing behind Kai, even when she decides to do 60 Minutes interviews without permission and similar things. Kai is also starring in Episode IV of the new Babysitters’ Club series, “Mary Anne Saves The Day.”
Tony Zosherafatain: Transgender filmmaker who created “Trans In Trumpland.”
I’ll add others as I think of them.
Kelly Price
@West of the Rockies: Thank you so much!
Kelly Price
@jonas: Their daughter Kinley came out at age 25 and they are absolutely badass.
Jayce
@West of the Rockies: I am a major in communication studies and a minor in psychology
West of the Rockies
@Jayce:
That’s an excellent combo package!
Torrey
@Kelly Price:
Thanks for posting this link. The video is excellent. In an ideal world, the two of you would read the audiobook. Also, thank you for posting the resource list at #60. Looking forward to reading the book.
sab
Late to the thread. I have a trans niece who who is my favorite of my sister’s kids, and when she went trans my feeling was ” Duh! Who didn’t expect this?” Apparently no one ( Huh! Where were her parents her whole life.)
But a shock to her parents not her siblings.
Not a shock to me at all. I have expected it for twenty years. I think she is making a good choice (as if it was a choice).
But she was my nephew for twenty years. I can easily make the psychological adjustment, but the linguistic one is hard. She has been my nephew since she was born, although I thought she should be my niece since she was little. Speaking habits die hard, even if your thoughts are where they should be. I always knew my nephew of thirty plus years should be a girl. It’s just hard to break the habits of thirty plus years. Those are just habits. I always thought she should be a girl. I am so glad she is now happy as one.
Forgive me if I screw up linguistically. Get her name wrong. Get her gender wrong. It is just habit, not what I believe is right for her. Thirty plus years of habit pointing me in the wrong direction.
Leslie
Very late to the thread, but how wonderful that this book — and your family — exist! I love how much you look alike in your photo. Thank you, Kelly and Jayce, for sharing your story.
Kelly Price
@Torrey: You’re absolutely right, and other people have told us we need to do an audio version as well. Maybe after the kid survives his senior thesis…
Kelly Price
@sab: I always recommend for parents of younger kids that they literally practice aloud while doing household chores. When Kaiden came out I would stand there folding laundry and sounding like a complete idiot going “These are KAIDEN’S socks. I wonder if HE will ever match HIS socks? KAIDEN also needs to hang up HIS clothes or KAIDEN will be grounded.”
It’s silly, but it works!