I am, it was right on my bio https://t.co/bUaJcvRt7g
— Jorts (and Jean) (@JortsTheCat) December 16, 2021
By now, most of you will have enjoyed the original Reddit story…
AITA for “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” about Jorts? https://t.co/sC58aB3ecK pic.twitter.com/pHFeuxhoqH
— Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_online) December 14, 2021
… and the update…
But I thought you should know Jorts (& Jean) have their own twitter account now!
You are all so talented. Jean says Hallelujah. https://t.co/FiK2uhLdIA
— Jorts (and Jean) (@JortsTheCat) December 15, 2021
Also, a little adult-beverage starter for the weekend:
A Buttered Jorts is made with caramel cinnamon butter, bourbon, hot water a little whipped cream and of course a Jorts shaped orange garnish
— Jorts, all of us (@mauraloran) December 17, 2021
The coda that Jorts is a vaccine influencer is truly a delight.
— s. e. smith (@sesmith) December 15, 2021
This is so beyond my decency levels.
I’ve found that the secret to jorts is knowing how to accessorize.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Baud: me neither. I gather it’s an amusing story about cats
For Jorts the Cat, that would be a paper cup from the trash on his head…
You’re going to have to be more specific.
Emma from Miami
Lord, I am so ignorant of all trends, fashions, and cultural fancies that I might as well be living in another century.
@Emma from Miami:
We never should have allowed more than 3 TV channels.
Old Man Shadow
The best thing about working from home is having my dogs in the office with me. It’s a nice morale booster for when things get dull or suck.
Jorts is a very fashion forward feline.
@Baud: BBC, BBC2, and then either ITV or Channel 4? Notice that the Brits didn’t get Brexitish until they got cable.
My name is Jorts
And wen im fed
Or wen a cup
is on my hed
I just need help
to set me free –
and thats the tyme
Pam butters me.
— by someone named Abi, who tweets as Evil Rooster, apparently
Is there a cliff notes version of the reddit story?
A fan looped me in on Twitter. I defended Jorts’ “different kind of smart.”
The Story of Jorts has made my week.
@WaterGirl: Two rescue cats at workplace. The Tortie girl is clever, the orange boy, Jorts, is not. A male co-worker points this out to the frustrated female Jorts fan and things got heated.
Emma from Miami
@Baud: It’s all rather bewildering. Nonstop noise.
I needed that laugh!
OT. The Sixth Circuit had dissolved the Fifth Circuit’s stay of the OSHA Covid rule. Supremes next.
West of the Rockies
Open thread, so I see Bill Maher says the way to stop Trump’s slow-motion coup is for people to stop hating each other and for liberals “to shut the fuck up.”
Hey, smug Bill, people hate each other in no small part because of the rightwing arguetainment industry. You know, people like your former girlfriend Ann Coulter. And hypocrite Bill, you’ve contributed mightily to that industry. New rule: Bill Maher, shut the fuck up.
@WereBear: Down the street the two unplaced cats left are the meany kitty who aooks like Shadow. His eyes are yellow noqt green. And a black cat with a klittle white bib,
Jeez cats. Winter is indeed coming
Focus and adapt. Get yourselves adopted!++ Pleez!
@sab: People don’t adopt certain cats for silly reasons.
I suppose that I’m not the only one who noticed that Popehat’s Twitter handle description is JeSuisJortsHat today.
@WereBear: Thank you for that! It was interesting enough that I took the time to read the tweet. I still haven’t gone to the reddit source, but I think this is enough. Funny/sad though.
@Another Scott: I had to google it. That is funny.
I highly recommended the original post and update! I was absolutely weeping with laughter. There was also a blog post by someone who did an excellent job comparing how Jean’s/Jorts’/Pam’s supervisor dealt with Jorts and how Pam wanted to deal with them, to how people with various disabilities experience the world. I think the twitter thread linked it at some point.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
They’ve allowed city and state vaccine mandates to stay in place AFAIK. Perhaps they’ll allow the federal ones to go through?
Popehat has updated his name to jesuisjortshat. It’s cold and I’d be up for a hot buttered jorts
Another Scott beat me to the buzzer.
That is hilarious. The update is funnier than the original story.
I was crying.
The Pale Scot
come on man, that’s what people are for. Most of my Scotties have sat down in front of me looked me in the eye and patiently waited for me to figure out what they want.
The only orange cat I ever had was oh so sweet but dumb. Willy (William of Orange, found on Orange Street).
Oh my God…the Jean and Jorts story is the funniest thing I’ve read on the internet since that twitter thread a couple years ago about the woman in India who had the lorry load of wheat mistakenly delivered to her flat.
Kevin James in “Grownups”
I always thought my orange tabby Cherie kept getting into predicaments because she was too adventurous, but maybe she was kinda dumb. And my inherited ‘flame point’ Himalayan Gordon was definitely… well, he was sweet!
Jorts even got a nod from Simon’s Cat. He was thrilled.
Best comment was “I can’t believe she f–kin buttered Jorts,”
That one just kills Mr.
Or the Pepperoni Guy and the Seagulls Who Trashed a Hotel Room. Story is never not funny.
Orange cat boys *do* have that reputation. Some of them, IMO, are not so much ‘dumb’ as ‘incurably lazy’. Back in the day, I lived with one who always conned the other cats into grooming him… but since cats don’t groom other cats’ feet, that meant we had a gorgeous peaches & cream-colored cat who looked like he was wearing dirty gym socks.
On the other hand, out on the tail end of the bell curve… the orange cat that’s currently in our house is MENSA-level smart, and also a nasty mean bastid. Fifteen badly-distributed pounds of ginger-tabby ‘oriental shorthair type’ bounced-from-multiple-placements rescue, name of Rocket. He can’t work doorknobs, thanks Murphy, but he can and *does* open the kitchen cabinets — even the ones Spousal Unit fixed with ‘childproof’ stoppers, and then bungee cords. He climbs like a meezer, and takes advantage of that talent to knock stuff down, to where the dogs can reach. He’s a genius at opening drawers, too — if he can’t pull them out from the front, he’ll climb up the back of the dresser and push them open with his kangaroo-proportioned body weight. Then he chooses the most valuable / irreplaceable clothing items to chew holes in, because he has what the veterinarians call ‘depraved appetite’.
He also tries to bully the other cat (who is as big as he is, and better at sparring), our sole remaining little dog (but not too much, because the one thing Spousal Unit *doesn’t* excuse from Rocket is trying to bully SU’s neurotic little dog), and me.
I frequently threaten to return him to the shelter, but Spousal Unit thinks I just don’t ‘try to understand the poor thing’s perspective’ — even after I needed a course of IV antibiotics when Rocket got overexcited watching a spat between the other pets and (‘by mistake’) attacked my leg, leaving deep puncture wounds.
There are people who suspect Jorts-buttering Pam of being an invention of the original Redditor, but I have not only *met* people that misguided in their household-companion interpretation skills… Reader, I married one.
P.S. How’s your elbow doing?
@Anne Laurie: sounds great
Elbow not too bad. How old Cary Grant? I’m typing with one finger so sound like old telegrams
James E Powell
But we really needed the UHF stations for reruns and classic films like Godzilla and From Hell It Came.
@Anne Laurie: My Orange kitty girl is definitely lazy and sweet. Orange kittehs are sweet and lack the attitude that other kittehs have.
James E Powell
Dissolved? You mean it’s just that easy?
@James E Powell: Love FHIC!
James E Powell
@West of the Rockies:
There are people who have told me that there was a time when Maher wasn’t a total asshole. I have never seen evidence of this. My first exposure to him was in the 2000 cycle when he had Ralph Nader and Michael Moore on and the three of them agreed that both sides were the same except Al Gore was worse, much worse.
Since then, he’s said asshole things on a fairly regular basis, but somehow is popular enough to have a show. He likes to disparage those he calls liberals but don’t right-wingers think he is a liberal? Do they watch him?
He’s one of those people who would not be missed, so I wonder why anyone pays him to do anything. Cf. Chris Matthews.
@Anne Laurie: My Alistair (May, Calendar B), is a true orange boy: he’s huge, and he makes boxes of rocks look smart. My wife will never left me live down that we picked the rescue kitten who had a scar where he’d scratched his own nose. He’s so very stupid, but he’s also incredibly sweet and patient.
We had a little orange kitty who as born with 3 legs..where one front leg should be she had what resembled a toe. And yes, my husband named her Peg. She was the sweetest little furball, and LOVED wet laundry. I’d take a basket out to hang, and she’d be in that basket the minute I put it down. I swore she was faster on 3 legs because fewer feet to coordinate. Not a dummy tho, other than that odd wet laundry fetish.
That Reddit thread and the follow up were amazing!
Pretty good Jorts explainer from CNet, if you’re overwhelmed by the Reddit and the Twitter account.
@WaterGirl: Take a look at this story.
I think the supervisor shows how things should be done. He can see the value Jorts provides and is willing to accommodate his limitations in order to get it. The coworker sees those limitations as a problem that needs solving.
Holy shit. Our Chipotle has a twin separated at birth. I’m so sorry! We keep thinking we’ll discover that he’s some special exotic breed, a gorgeous slinky-but-awkward bengal with twice the smarts and half the conscience of your “normal” orange tabby boi, and over and over we are brought up short by the evidence that he is just an asshole.
ETA: I was going to bold the parts of your description that are particularly apt, but I would have had to bold everything including “and” and “the.”
I just got my B calendar, and there in the April group is Whiskey. He is too old now to classify as smart or dumb. Smart cats figure out that playing dumb means getting other people or cats to do things for you, so you can never really tell. The calendar looks good, I think.
The male O-Tab we had came from the streets and was a great hunter. No himbo was he. Our current female O-Tab opens doors by standing at the door and looking at me. It works because I’m trained well. Hmmmm… The Jorts saga had me in stitches.
@James E Powell: Time when Bill Maher was not an asshole…? Try D.C. Cab, maybe. It’s a Joel Schumacher comedy from 1983. Mr. T’s in it!