Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

We still have time to mess this up!

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Friday Evening Open Thread: All Hail Jorts! (& Jean)

Friday Evening Open Thread: All Hail Jorts! (& Jean)

by | 53 Comments

This post is in: ,

By now, most of you will have enjoyed the original Reddit story…

… and the update…

But I thought you should know Jorts (& Jean) have their own twitter account now!

Also, a little adult-beverage starter for the weekend:

Reader Interactions

53Comments

  5. 5.

    Anne Laurie

    @SpaceUnit: I’ve found that the secret to jorts is knowing how to accessorize.

    For Jorts the Cat, that would be a paper cup from the trash on his head…

  7. 7.

    Emma from Miami

    Lord, I am so ignorant of all trends, fashions, and cultural fancies that I might as well be living in another century.

  9. 9.

    Old Man Shadow

    The best thing about working from home is having my dogs in the office with me. It’s a nice morale booster for when things get dull or suck.

  11. 11.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Baud: BBC, BBC2, and then either ITV or Channel 4?  Notice that the Brits didn’t get Brexitish until they got cable.

  12. 12.

    SiubhanDuinne

    My name is Jorts

    And wen im fed

    Or wen a cup

    is on my hed

    I just need help

    to set me free –

    and thats the tyme

    Pam butters me.

    — by someone named Abi, who tweets as Evil Rooster, apparently

  16. 16.

    WereBear

    @WaterGirl: Two rescue cats at workplace. The Tortie girl is clever, the orange boy, Jorts, is not. A male co-worker points this out to the frustrated female Jorts fan and things got heated.

  19. 19.

    Baud

    OT. The Sixth Circuit had dissolved the Fifth Circuit’s stay of the OSHA Covid rule.  Supremes next.

  20. 20.

    West of the Rockies

    Open thread, so I see Bill Maher says the way to stop Trump’s slow-motion coup is for people to stop hating each other and for liberals “to shut the fuck up.”

    Hey, smug Bill, people hate each other in no small part because of the rightwing arguetainment industry. You know, people like your former girlfriend Ann Coulter.  And hypocrite Bill, you’ve contributed mightily to that industry.  New rule:  Bill Maher, shut the fuck up.

  21. 21.

    sab

    @WereBear: Down the street the two unplaced cats left are the meany kitty who aooks like Shadow. His eyes are yellow noqt green. And a black cat with a klittle white bib,

    Jeez cats. Winter is indeed coming

    Focus and adapt. Get yourselves adopted!++ Pleez!

  23. 23.

    Another Scott

    I suppose that I’m not the only one who noticed that Popehat’s Twitter handle description is JeSuisJortsHat today.

    Hehe.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  24. 24.

    WaterGirl

    @WereBear: Thank you for that!  It was interesting enough that I took the time to read the tweet.   I still haven’t gone to the reddit source, but I think this is enough.  Funny/sad though.

  26. 26.

    narya

    I highly recommended the original post and update! I was absolutely weeping with laughter. There was also a blog post by someone who did an excellent job comparing how Jean’s/Jorts’/Pam’s supervisor dealt with Jorts and how Pam wanted to deal with them, to how people with various disabilities experience the world. I think the twitter thread linked it at some point.

  27. 27.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    @Baud:

    They’ve allowed city and state vaccine mandates to stay in place AFAIK. Perhaps they’ll allow the federal ones to go through?

  28. 28.

    laura

    Popehat has updated his name to jesuisjortshat. It’s cold and I’d be up for a hot buttered jorts

    Another Scott beat me to the buzzer.

  30. 30.

    The Pale Scot

    come on man, that’s what people are for. Most of my Scotties have sat down in front of me looked me in the eye and patiently waited for me to figure out what they want.

  31. 31.

    zhena gogolia

    The only orange cat I ever had was oh so sweet but dumb. Willy (William of Orange, found on Orange Street).

  32. 32.

    Kent

    Oh my God…the Jean and Jorts story is the funniest thing I’ve read on the internet since that twitter thread a couple years ago about the woman in India who had the lorry load of wheat mistakenly delivered to her flat.

  34. 34.

    JoyceH

    @zhena gogolia: ​
     

    I always thought my orange tabby Cherie kept getting into predicaments because she was too adventurous, but maybe she was kinda dumb. And my inherited ‘flame point’ Himalayan Gordon was definitely… well, he was sweet!

  35. 35.

    ET

    Jorts even got a nod from Simon’s Cat. He was thrilled.

    Best comment was “I can’t believe she f–kin buttered Jorts,”

    That one just kills Mr.

  38. 38.

    Anne Laurie

    @zhena gogolia: The only orange cat I ever had was oh so sweet but dumb.

    Orange cat boys *do* have that reputation.  Some of them, IMO, are not so much ‘dumb’ as ‘incurably lazy’.   Back in the day, I lived with one who always conned the other cats into grooming him… but since cats don’t groom other cats’ feet, that meant we had a gorgeous peaches & cream-colored cat who looked like he was wearing dirty gym socks.

    On the other hand, out on the tail end of the bell curve… the orange cat that’s currently in our house is MENSA-level smart, and also a nasty mean bastid.   Fifteen badly-distributed pounds of ginger-tabby ‘oriental shorthair type’ bounced-from-multiple-placements rescue, name of Rocket.  He can’t work doorknobs, thanks Murphy, but he can and *does* open the kitchen cabinets — even the ones Spousal Unit fixed with ‘childproof’ stoppers, and then bungee cords.  He climbs like a meezer, and takes advantage of that talent to knock stuff down, to where the dogs can reach.  He’s a genius at opening drawers, too — if he can’t pull them out from the front, he’ll climb up the back of the dresser and push them open with his kangaroo-proportioned body weight.  Then he chooses the most valuable / irreplaceable clothing items to chew holes in, because he has what the veterinarians call ‘depraved appetite’.

    He also tries to bully the other cat (who is as big as he is, and better at sparring), our sole remaining little dog (but not too much, because the one thing Spousal Unit *doesn’t* excuse from Rocket is trying to bully SU’s neurotic little dog), and me.

    I frequently threaten to return him to the shelter, but Spousal Unit thinks I just don’t ‘try to understand the poor thing’s perspective’ — even after I needed a course of IV antibiotics when Rocket got overexcited watching a spat between the other pets and (‘by mistake’) attacked my leg, leaving deep puncture wounds.

    There are people who suspect Jorts-buttering Pam of being an invention of the original Redditor, but I have not only *met* people that misguided in  their household-companion interpretation skills… Reader, I married one.

    P.S.  How’s your elbow doing?

  40. 40.

    James E Powell

    @Baud:

    We never should have allowed more than 3 TV channels.

    But we really needed the UHF stations for reruns and classic films like Godzilla and From Hell It Came.

  44. 44.

    James E Powell

    @West of the Rockies:

    There are people who have told me that there was a time when Maher wasn’t a total asshole. I have never seen evidence of this. My first exposure to him was in the 2000 cycle when he had Ralph Nader and Michael Moore on and the three of them agreed that both sides were the same except Al Gore was worse, much worse.

    Since then, he’s said asshole things on a fairly regular basis, but somehow is popular enough to have a show. He likes to disparage those he calls liberals but don’t right-wingers think he is a liberal? Do they watch him?

    He’s one of those people who would not be missed, so I wonder why anyone pays him to do anything. Cf. Chris Matthews.

  45. 45.

    Darkrose

    @Anne Laurie: My Alistair (May, Calendar B), is a true orange boy: he’s huge, and he makes boxes of rocks look smart. My wife will never left me live down that we picked the rescue kitten who had a scar where he’d scratched his own nose. He’s so very stupid, but he’s also incredibly sweet and patient.

  46. 46.

    MagdaInBlack

    We had a little orange kitty who as born with 3 legs..where one front leg should be she had what resembled a toe. And yes, my husband named her Peg.  She was the sweetest little furball, and LOVED wet laundry. I’d take a basket out to hang, and she’d be in that basket the minute I put it down. I swore she was faster on 3 legs because fewer feet to coordinate. Not a dummy tho, other than that odd wet laundry fetish.

  49. 49.

    Roger Moore

    @narya:

    There was also a blog post by someone who did an excellent job comparing how Jean’s/Jorts’/Pam’s supervisor dealt with Jorts and how Pam wanted to deal with them, to how people with various disabilities experience the world.

    I think the supervisor shows how things should be done.  He can see the value Jorts provides and is willing to accommodate his limitations in order to get it.  The coworker sees those limitations as a problem that needs solving.

  50. 50.

    Comrade Colette

    @Anne Laurie:

     the orange cat that’s currently in our house is MENSA-level smart, and also a nasty mean bastid.   Fifteen badly-distributed pounds of ginger-tabby ‘oriental shorthair type’ bounced-from-multiple-placements rescue, name of Rocket.  He can’t work doorknobs, thanks Murphy, but he can and *does* open the kitchen cabinets — even the ones Spousal Unit fixed with ‘childproof’ stoppers, and then bungee cords.  He climbs like a meezer, and takes advantage of that talent to knock stuff down, to where the dogs can reach.  He’s a genius at opening drawers, too — if he can’t pull them out from the front, he’ll climb up the back of the dresser and push them open with his kangaroo-proportioned body weight.  Then he chooses the most valuable / irreplaceable clothing items to chew holes in, because he has what the veterinarians call ‘depraved appetite’.

    Holy shit. Our Chipotle has a twin separated at birth. I’m so sorry! We keep thinking we’ll discover that he’s some special exotic breed, a gorgeous slinky-but-awkward bengal with twice the smarts and half the conscience of your “normal” orange tabby boi, and over and over we are brought up short by the evidence that he is just an asshole.

    ETA: I was going to bold the parts of your description that are particularly apt, but I would have had to bold everything including “and” and “the.”

  51. 51.

    steve g

    I just got my B calendar, and there in the April group is Whiskey. He is too old now to classify as smart or dumb. Smart cats figure out that playing dumb means getting other people or cats to do things for you, so you can never really tell. The calendar looks good, I think.

  52. 52.

    David C

    The male O-Tab we had came from the streets and was a great hunter. No himbo was he. Our current female O-Tab opens doors by standing at the door and looking at me. It works because I’m trained well. Hmmmm… The Jorts saga had me in stitches.

Comments are closed.