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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Friday Evening Open Thread: All Hail Jorts! (& Jean)

Friday Evening Open Thread: All Hail Jorts! (& Jean)

by Anne Laurie|  December 17, 20216:37 pm| 53 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Something Good Open Thread

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I am, it was right on my bio https://t.co/bUaJcvRt7g

— Jorts (and Jean) (@JortsTheCat) December 16, 2021

By now, most of you will have enjoyed the original Reddit story…

AITA for “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” about Jorts? https://t.co/sC58aB3ecK pic.twitter.com/pHFeuxhoqH

— Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_online) December 14, 2021

… and the update…

But I thought you should know Jorts (& Jean) have their own twitter account now!

You are all so talented. Jean says Hallelujah. https://t.co/FiK2uhLdIA

— Jorts (and Jean) (@JortsTheCat) December 15, 2021

Also, a little adult-beverage starter for the weekend:

A Buttered Jorts is made with caramel cinnamon butter, bourbon, hot water a little whipped cream and of course a Jorts shaped orange garnish

— Jorts, all of us (@mauraloran) December 17, 2021

The coda that Jorts is a vaccine influencer is truly a delight.

— s. e. smith (@sesmith) December 15, 2021

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Previous Post: « Oops! (Open Thread)
Next Post: So I Made Up This Whole Story In My Head (Open Thread) »

Reader Interactions

53Comments

  1. 1.

    sab

    December 17, 2021 at 6:44 pm

    This is so beyond my decency levels.

  2. 2.

    Baud

    December 17, 2021 at 6:49 pm

    By now, most of you will have enjoyed the original Reddit story

    Nope.

  3. 3.

    SpaceUnit

    December 17, 2021 at 6:49 pm

    I’ve found that the secret to jorts is knowing how to accessorize.

  4. 4.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 17, 2021 at 6:52 pm

    @Baud: me neither. I gather it’s an amusing story about cats

  5. 5.

    Anne Laurie

    December 17, 2021 at 6:53 pm

    @SpaceUnit: I’ve found that the secret to jorts is knowing how to accessorize.

    For Jorts the Cat, that would be a paper cup from the trash on his head…

  6. 6.

    Ken

    December 17, 2021 at 6:54 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I gather it’s an amusing story about cats

    You’re going to have to be more specific.

  7. 7.

    Emma from Miami

    December 17, 2021 at 6:56 pm

    Lord, I am so ignorant of all trends, fashions, and cultural fancies that I might as well be living in another century.

  8. 8.

    Baud

    December 17, 2021 at 7:01 pm

    @Emma from Miami:

    We never should have allowed more than 3 TV channels.

  9. 9.

    Old Man Shadow

    December 17, 2021 at 7:03 pm

    The best thing about working from home is having my dogs in the office with me. It’s a nice morale booster for when things get dull or suck.

  10. 10.

    SpaceUnit

    December 17, 2021 at 7:04 pm

    @Anne Laurie:

    Jorts is a very fashion forward feline.

  11. 11.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 17, 2021 at 7:05 pm

    @Baud: BBC, BBC2, and then either ITV or Channel 4?  Notice that the Brits didn’t get Brexitish until they got cable.

  12. 12.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 17, 2021 at 7:07 pm

    My name is Jorts

    And wen im fed

    Or wen a cup

    is on my hed

    I just need help

    to set me free –

    and thats the tyme

    Pam butters me.

    — by someone named Abi, who tweets as Evil Rooster, apparently

  13. 13.

    WaterGirl

    December 17, 2021 at 7:09 pm

    Is there a cliff notes version of the reddit story?

  14. 14.

    WereBear

    December 17, 2021 at 7:10 pm

    A fan looped me in on Twitter. I defended Jorts’ “different kind of smart.”

  15. 15.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 17, 2021 at 7:12 pm

    The Story of Jorts has made my week.

  16. 16.

    WereBear

    December 17, 2021 at 7:13 pm

    @WaterGirl: Two rescue cats at workplace. The Tortie girl is clever, the orange boy, Jorts, is not. A male co-worker points this out to the frustrated female Jorts fan and things got heated.

  17. 17.

    Emma from Miami

    December 17, 2021 at 7:13 pm

    @Baud: It’s all rather bewildering. Nonstop noise.

  18. 18.

    Felanius Kootea

    December 17, 2021 at 7:15 pm

    I needed that laugh!

  19. 19.

    Baud

    December 17, 2021 at 7:16 pm

    OT. The Sixth Circuit had dissolved the Fifth Circuit’s stay of the OSHA Covid rule.  Supremes next.

  20. 20.

    West of the Rockies

    December 17, 2021 at 7:17 pm

    Open thread, so I see Bill Maher says the way to stop Trump’s slow-motion coup is for people to stop hating each other and for liberals “to shut the fuck up.”

    Hey, smug Bill, people hate each other in no small part because of the rightwing arguetainment industry. You know, people like your former girlfriend Ann Coulter.  And hypocrite Bill, you’ve contributed mightily to that industry.  New rule:  Bill Maher, shut the fuck up.

  21. 21.

    sab

    December 17, 2021 at 7:20 pm

    @WereBear: Down the street the two unplaced cats left are the meany kitty who aooks like Shadow. His eyes are yellow noqt green. And a black cat with a klittle white bib,

    Jeez cats. Winter is indeed coming

    Focus and adapt. Get yourselves adopted!++ Pleez!

  22. 22.

    WereBear

    December 17, 2021 at 7:26 pm

    @sab: People don’t adopt certain cats for silly reasons.

  23. 23.

    Another Scott

    December 17, 2021 at 7:26 pm

    I suppose that I’m not the only one who noticed that Popehat’s Twitter handle description is JeSuisJortsHat today.

    Hehe.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  24. 24.

    WaterGirl

    December 17, 2021 at 7:30 pm

    @WereBear: Thank you for that!  It was interesting enough that I took the time to read the tweet.   I still haven’t gone to the reddit source, but I think this is enough.  Funny/sad though.

  25. 25.

    WaterGirl

    December 17, 2021 at 7:31 pm

    @Another Scott: I had to google it.  That is funny.

  26. 26.

    narya

    December 17, 2021 at 7:34 pm

    I highly recommended the original post and update! I was absolutely weeping with laughter. There was also a blog post by someone who did an excellent job comparing how Jean’s/Jorts’/Pam’s supervisor dealt with Jorts and how Pam wanted to deal with them, to how people with various disabilities experience the world. I think the twitter thread linked it at some point.

  27. 27.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    December 17, 2021 at 7:35 pm

    @Baud:

    They’ve allowed city and state vaccine mandates to stay in place AFAIK. Perhaps they’ll allow the federal ones to go through?

  28. 28.

    laura

    December 17, 2021 at 7:35 pm

    Popehat has updated his name to jesuisjortshat. It’s cold and I’d be up for a hot buttered jorts

    Another Scott beat me to the buzzer.

  29. 29.

    Emerald

    December 17, 2021 at 7:41 pm

    That is hilarious. The update is funnier than the original story.

    I was crying.

  30. 30.

    The Pale Scot

    December 17, 2021 at 7:41 pm

    come on man, that’s what people are for. Most of my Scotties have sat down in front of me looked me in the eye and patiently waited for me to figure out what they want.

  31. 31.

    zhena gogolia

    December 17, 2021 at 7:45 pm

    The only orange cat I ever had was oh so sweet but dumb. Willy (William of Orange, found on Orange Street).

  32. 32.

    Kent

    December 17, 2021 at 7:52 pm

    Oh my God…the Jean and Jorts story is the funniest thing I’ve read on the internet since that twitter thread a couple years ago about the woman in India who had the lorry load of wheat mistakenly delivered to her flat.

  33. 33.

    oatler

    December 17, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    Kevin James in “Grownups”

  34. 34.

    JoyceH

    December 17, 2021 at 8:11 pm

    @zhena gogolia: ​
     

    I always thought my orange tabby Cherie kept getting into predicaments because she was too adventurous, but maybe she was kinda dumb. And my inherited ‘flame point’ Himalayan Gordon was definitely… well, he was sweet!

  35. 35.

    ET

    December 17, 2021 at 8:23 pm

    Jorts even got a nod from Simon’s Cat. He was thrilled.

    Best comment was “I can’t believe she f–kin buttered Jorts,”

    That one just kills Mr.

  36. 36.

    HumboldtBlue

    December 17, 2021 at 8:42 pm

    I can’t believe she fuckin buttered Jorts though

    Hahahahahahahaha!

  37. 37.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 17, 2021 at 8:47 pm

    @Kent:

    Or the Pepperoni Guy and the Seagulls Who Trashed a Hotel Room. Story is never not funny.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbc.ca/amp/1.4601675

  38. 38.

    Anne Laurie

    December 17, 2021 at 8:59 pm

    @zhena gogolia: The only orange cat I ever had was oh so sweet but dumb.

    Orange cat boys *do* have that reputation.  Some of them, IMO, are not so much ‘dumb’ as ‘incurably lazy’.   Back in the day, I lived with one who always conned the other cats into grooming him… but since cats don’t groom other cats’ feet, that meant we had a gorgeous peaches & cream-colored cat who looked like he was wearing dirty gym socks.

    On the other hand, out on the tail end of the bell curve… the orange cat that’s currently in our house is MENSA-level smart, and also a nasty mean bastid.   Fifteen badly-distributed pounds of ginger-tabby ‘oriental shorthair type’ bounced-from-multiple-placements rescue, name of Rocket.  He can’t work doorknobs, thanks Murphy, but he can and *does* open the kitchen cabinets — even the ones Spousal Unit fixed with ‘childproof’ stoppers, and then bungee cords.  He climbs like a meezer, and takes advantage of that talent to knock stuff down, to where the dogs can reach.  He’s a genius at opening drawers, too — if he can’t pull them out from the front, he’ll climb up the back of the dresser and push them open with his kangaroo-proportioned body weight.  Then he chooses the most valuable / irreplaceable clothing items to chew holes in, because he has what the veterinarians call ‘depraved appetite’.

    He also tries to bully the other cat (who is as big as he is, and better at sparring), our sole remaining little dog (but not too much, because the one thing Spousal Unit *doesn’t* excuse from Rocket is trying to bully SU’s neurotic little dog), and me.

    I frequently threaten to return him to the shelter, but Spousal Unit thinks I just don’t ‘try to understand the poor thing’s perspective’ — even after I needed a course of IV antibiotics when Rocket got overexcited watching a spat between the other pets and (‘by mistake’) attacked my leg, leaving deep puncture wounds.

    There are people who suspect Jorts-buttering Pam of being an invention of the original Redditor, but I have not only *met* people that misguided in  their household-companion interpretation skills… Reader, I married one.

    P.S.  How’s your elbow doing?

  39. 39.

    zhena gogolia

    December 17, 2021 at 9:03 pm

    @Anne Laurie: sounds great

    Elbow not too bad. How old Cary Grant? I’m typing with one finger so sound like old telegrams

  40. 40.

    James E Powell

    December 17, 2021 at 9:04 pm

    @Baud:

    We never should have allowed more than 3 TV channels.

    But we really needed the UHF stations for reruns and classic films like Godzilla and From Hell It Came.

  41. 41.

    schrodingers_cat

    December 17, 2021 at 9:04 pm

    @Anne Laurie: My Orange kitty girl is definitely lazy and sweet. Orange kittehs are sweet and lack the attitude that other kittehs have.

  42. 42.

    James E Powell

    December 17, 2021 at 9:05 pm

    @Baud:

    Dissolved? You mean it’s just that easy?

  43. 43.

    zhena gogolia

    December 17, 2021 at 9:05 pm

    @James E Powell: Love FHIC!

  44. 44.

    James E Powell

    December 17, 2021 at 9:10 pm

    @West of the Rockies:

    There are people who have told me that there was a time when Maher wasn’t a total asshole. I have never seen evidence of this. My first exposure to him was in the 2000 cycle when he had Ralph Nader and Michael Moore on and the three of them agreed that both sides were the same except Al Gore was worse, much worse.

    Since then, he’s said asshole things on a fairly regular basis, but somehow is popular enough to have a show. He likes to disparage those he calls liberals but don’t right-wingers think he is a liberal? Do they watch him?

    He’s one of those people who would not be missed, so I wonder why anyone pays him to do anything. Cf. Chris Matthews.

  45. 45.

    Darkrose

    December 17, 2021 at 9:13 pm

    @Anne Laurie: My Alistair (May, Calendar B), is a true orange boy: he’s huge, and he makes boxes of rocks look smart. My wife will never left me live down that we picked the rescue kitten who had a scar where he’d scratched his own nose. He’s so very stupid, but he’s also incredibly sweet and patient.

  46. 46.

    MagdaInBlack

    December 17, 2021 at 9:13 pm

    We had a little orange kitty who as born with 3 legs..where one front leg should be she had what resembled a toe. And yes, my husband named her Peg.  She was the sweetest little furball, and LOVED wet laundry. I’d take a basket out to hang, and she’d be in that basket the minute I put it down. I swore she was faster on 3 legs because fewer feet to coordinate. Not a dummy tho, other than that odd wet laundry fetish.

  47. 47.

    ellie

    December 17, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    That Reddit thread and the follow up were amazing!

  48. 48.

    Steeplejack

    December 17, 2021 at 9:19 pm

    Pretty good Jorts explainer from CNet, if you’re overwhelmed by the Reddit and the Twitter account.

    @WaterGirl: Take a look at this story.

  49. 49.

    Roger Moore

    December 17, 2021 at 9:22 pm

    @narya:

    There was also a blog post by someone who did an excellent job comparing how Jean’s/Jorts’/Pam’s supervisor dealt with Jorts and how Pam wanted to deal with them, to how people with various disabilities experience the world.

    I think the supervisor shows how things should be done.  He can see the value Jorts provides and is willing to accommodate his limitations in order to get it.  The coworker sees those limitations as a problem that needs solving.

  50. 50.

    Comrade Colette

    December 18, 2021 at 12:30 am

    @Anne Laurie:

     the orange cat that’s currently in our house is MENSA-level smart, and also a nasty mean bastid.   Fifteen badly-distributed pounds of ginger-tabby ‘oriental shorthair type’ bounced-from-multiple-placements rescue, name of Rocket.  He can’t work doorknobs, thanks Murphy, but he can and *does* open the kitchen cabinets — even the ones Spousal Unit fixed with ‘childproof’ stoppers, and then bungee cords.  He climbs like a meezer, and takes advantage of that talent to knock stuff down, to where the dogs can reach.  He’s a genius at opening drawers, too — if he can’t pull them out from the front, he’ll climb up the back of the dresser and push them open with his kangaroo-proportioned body weight.  Then he chooses the most valuable / irreplaceable clothing items to chew holes in, because he has what the veterinarians call ‘depraved appetite’.

    Holy shit. Our Chipotle has a twin separated at birth. I’m so sorry! We keep thinking we’ll discover that he’s some special exotic breed, a gorgeous slinky-but-awkward bengal with twice the smarts and half the conscience of your “normal” orange tabby boi, and over and over we are brought up short by the evidence that he is just an asshole.

    ETA: I was going to bold the parts of your description that are particularly apt, but I would have had to bold everything including “and” and “the.”

  51. 51.

    steve g

    December 18, 2021 at 1:13 am

    I just got my B calendar, and there in the April group is Whiskey. He is too old now to classify as smart or dumb. Smart cats figure out that playing dumb means getting other people or cats to do things for you, so you can never really tell. The calendar looks good, I think.

  52. 52.

    David C

    December 18, 2021 at 7:04 am

    The male O-Tab we had came from the streets and was a great hunter. No himbo was he. Our current female O-Tab opens doors by standing at the door and looking at me. It works because I’m trained well. Hmmmm… The Jorts saga had me in stitches.

  53. 53.

    Benno

    December 18, 2021 at 7:24 am

    @James E Powell: Time when Bill Maher was not an asshole…? Try D.C. Cab, maybe. It’s a Joel Schumacher comedy from 1983. Mr. T’s in it!

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